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CloudLeft Public License Closes User Data Loophole

timothy posted about 5 years ago | from the for-great-justice dept.

GNU is Not Unix 70

FreedomFighter writes "In a Cloud Standards breakthrough, the FSF is teaming up with major cloud computing vendors to form the Free and Open Cloud Alliance (FOCA), a trade marketing association supporting Free(TM) and Open Cloud Computing (FOCC). The new CloudLeft Public License (CPL) is based on the ideas that data wants to be Free(TM) and all your Cloud(TM) are belong to us. It closes the 'user data loophole' by requiring the release of not only the source code for a CloudLeft platform but also the data passing through it. This renders most security issues void while appropriately setting the users' expectation of privacy. 'In the past, I've said that "cloud" is complete gibberish, but while discussing fashion during my weekly squash game with Stallman he convinced me that this was a great opportunity.' said Larry Ellison, CEO of Oracle. RMS, who previously said that 'cloud' is worse than stupidity was also pleased about the return of the advertising clause, requiring the use of the 'GNU/Cloud' name, as he is 'tired of haranguing the GNU/Linux community about this.' Full details will be available next Monday, including the first marketing and outreach program — 'FOCC: IT in 2009.'"

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Gentlemen: (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27422529)

The time has come for a serious discussion on whether or
not to continue using C for serious programming projects. As I will
explain, I feel that C needs to be retired, much the same way that
Fortran, Cobol and Perl have been. Furthermore, allow me to be so bold
as to suggest a superior replacement to this outdated language.

To give you a little background on this subject, I was recently asked
to develop a client/server project on a Unix platform for a Fortune
500 company. While I've never coded in C before I have coded in VB for
fifteen years, and in Java for over ten, I was stunned to see how
poorly C fared compared to these two, more low-level languages.

C's biggest difficulty, as we all know, is the fact that it is by far
one of the slowest languages in existance, especially when compared to
more modern languages such as Java and C#. Although the reasons for
this are varied, the main reasons seems to be the way C requires a
programmer to laboriously work with chunks of memory.

Requiring a programmer to manipulate blocks of memory is a tedious way
to program. This was satisfactory back in the early days of coding,
but then again, so were punchcards. By using what are called
"pointers" a C programmer is basically requiring the computer to do
three sets of work rather than one. The first time requires the
computer to duplicate whatever is stored in the memory space "pointed
to" by the pointer. The second time requires it to perform the needed
operation on this space. Finally the computer must delete the
duplicate set and set the values of the original accordingly.

Clearly this is a horrendous use of resources and the chief reason why
C is so slow. When one looks at a more modern (and a more serious)
programming language like Java, C# or - even better - Visual Basic
that lacks such archaic coding styles, one will also note a serious
speed increase over C.

So what does this mean for the programming community? I think clearly
that C needs to be abandonded. There are two candidates that would be
a suitable replacement for it. Those are Java and Visual Basic.

Having programmed in both for many years, I believe that VB has the
edge. Not only is it slightly faster than Java its also much easier to
code in. I found C to be confusing, frightening and intimidating with
its non-GUI-based coding style. Furthermore, I like to see the source
code of the projects I work with. Java's source seems to be under the
monopolistic thumb of Sun much the way that GCC is obscured from us by
the marketing people at the FSF. Microsoft's "shared source" under
which Visual Basic is released definately seems to be the most fair
and reasonable of all the licenses in existance, with none of the
harsh restrictions of the BSD license. It also lacks the GPLs
requirement that anything coded with its tools becomes property of the

I hope to see a switch from C to VB very soon. I've already spoken
with various luminaries in the C coding world and most are eager to
begin to transition. Having just gotten off the phone with Mr. Alan
Cox, I can say that he is quite thrilled with the speed increases that
will occur when the Linux kernel is completely rewritten in Visual
Basic. Richard Stallman plans to support this, and hopes that the
great Swede himself, Linux Torvaldis, won't object to renaming Linux
to VB/Linux. Although not a C coder himself, I'm told that Slashdot's
very own Admiral Taco will support this on his web site. Finally,
Dennis Ritchie is excited about the switch!

Thank you for your time. Happy coding.

Re:Gentlemen: (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27423103)

I thought Torvalds was Finnish?

Re:Gentlemen: (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27423813)

No, he's Swedish, although he was born and raised in Finland.

Re:Gentlemen: (1)

Zordak (123132) | about 5 years ago | (#27424125)

Java, C# or - even better - Visual Basic

Those should be em-dashes instead of hyphens. And you do not set off em-dashes with spaces. For example, "or---even better---Visual Basic" (where "---" represents an em-dash).

Is there a pedantry achievement?

Re:Gentlemen: (1)

lsatenstein (949458) | about 5 years ago | (#27460389)

I have a better idea, as I agree with the author that C is too slow. Lets all code in assembler, and lets use a virtual machine so that the assembler objects could be run on any platform, except, of course, the real machine for which the virtual one was created. Ohhh sorry, my computer clock is 4 days fast.

When someone like me gets the first post... (3, Funny)

hitnrunrambler (1401521) | about 5 years ago | (#27422621)

... now we really know that /. overdid the April Fools jokes.

I actually stared at the new updates for 30 seconds before I noticed it was a virgin thread.
Really I'm just looking to boost my achievements.

What use are these achievements? (0, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27422797)

...without some really cool unlocks.

Some nice skins or a new sniper rifle would be nice.

Re:What use are these achievements? (2, Funny)

bFusion (1433853) | about 5 years ago | (#27422953)

I'm just doing the achievements for access to the new posting classes. Like Flamer, Troll and Sniper.

So many people have unlocked them already!

Re:What use are these achievements? (2, Funny)

pyrrhonist (701154) | about 5 years ago | (#27423111)

Like Flamer, Troll and Sniper.

You should restate this fragment as a complete sentence.

Sorry, I just unlocked the Grammar Nazi class.

Re:What use are these achievements? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27424145)

Grammar Nazi class.

Good to see you Godwin.

Re:When someone like me gets the first post... (1)

Samrobb (12731) | about 5 years ago | (#27423167)

You can get an achievement just for commenting?

Oh, wait - I just did.


FOCC (1)

Phizzle (1109923) | about 5 years ago | (#27422629)


Re:FOCA (5, Funny)

hitnrunrambler (1401521) | about 5 years ago | (#27422685)

what about the "Media Usable Through Heuristic Art-intell" branch of the "Free and Open Cloud Alliance"?

those MUTHA FOCAs have a real PR nightmare ahead of them.

So in other words.... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27423313)

So in other words, since your data is just as private as the source code (which is to say, not at all), it essentially guarantees the cloud will not be used for anything important.

FOSS- where irrelevance is job one!

Re:FOCC (2, Funny)

Archangel Michael (180766) | about 5 years ago | (#27422845)

The cast and crew of Battlestar Gallactica were unavailable for comments, they were Finally Realizing Another Crock was on slashdot.

Re:FOCC (1)

polemistes (739905) | about 5 years ago | (#27424195)

Getting to the point here: It's easy to predict from the timing of the buyout of TPB, RMS playing sqash, the stars deciding the timing of Easter and the fact that if you take the first letter of every 777th word written in comments on Slashdot since the start, it spells out the Bible backwards, mirrored around the point where Lot runs away from Sodoma, and this comment adds the last letter, that sometime in the early afternoon of the 12th of april, Christ will come back from space in his Maria Mother Spaceship, and once again will earth come under the GAH (Good Alien Hegemony) where evil will become illegal (Bhutan has got early messages from the vessel, and has already made it illegal to be unhappy).

It's stories like this (4, Insightful)

phantomfive (622387) | about 5 years ago | (#27422637)

It's stories like this that make me miss the pink ponies.

Never was there an April fool's day so garrishly awesome. I wish there were a way to bring it back.

These days all we get are a collection of April Fool's day stories from around the web, which is still kind of fun. Incidentally, check out youtube.com. Awesome.

Re:It's stories like this (1)

Limburgher (523006) | about 5 years ago | (#27422689)

Sounds like you need Slashdotter: https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/2175 [mozilla.org]

Re:It's stories like this (1)

Limburgher (523006) | about 5 years ago | (#27422729)

Of course I say that, and then I installed it and selected OMG Ponies!!! and it's not working. . .

Re:It's stories like this (1)

Cube Steak (1520237) | about 5 years ago | (#27422951)

No, it works it just seems to be buggy. What you have to do is after you choose that style from the "default style" drop down, choose another one and it will fill in all the sections below to have OMG!!! PONIES!!! Otherwise you have to select it for each individual style for the sections.

Re:It's stories like this (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27422695)


Interesting (2, Interesting)

greyline (1052440) | about 5 years ago | (#27422747)

I have a sinking suspicion that this is not real. I mean today is April 1. I've heard of this thing called April Fools Day where people play pranks on one another. Perhaps this is one of those instances? All of today's articles on /. seemed pretty convincing to me, but this one is just a little too unbelievable. I think I'm on to them! Nice try, guys. No pulling the wool over these eyes. Now where'd I put my glasses?

Nacho Libre (4, Funny)

qoncept (599709) | about 5 years ago | (#27422765)

This April Fools has been like Nacho Libre - I can't even tell what's supposed to be funny and what's not.

Re:Nacho Libre (3, Insightful)

CoffeePlease (596791) | about 5 years ago | (#27422807)

I get that feeling from reading the Wall Street Journal these days.

Re:Nacho Libre (2, Insightful)

shadowbearer (554144) | about 5 years ago | (#27423337)

  Or any other news source.

  Some say it's because we have increased exposure to news, in general, and that it's always been that way.

  If that's so, then the human race really IS a bunch of silly fools, with a few sensical people in the mix, like raisins in raisin bread.

  Personally I think we're just becoming collectively sillier.


Re:Nacho Libre (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27423551)

The worst part is that aprilfools tags have clearly been getting deleted from stories. Yes, mods, please force your sense of 'humour' down everyone's throat by censoring the community, that's great.

Anybody else notice... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27422787)

FOCC: IT sounds like "fuck it"?


Cloud is not worse than Stupidity (3, Funny)

rackserverdeals (1503561) | about 5 years ago | (#27422789)

Stallman didn't like the cloud because it changes the way people use computers and will require a new version of the GPL.

Dammit people! We finally have a stable version of GNU/Hurd [gnu.org] but it could have been out years ago if you didn't insist on forcing web technologies on the world requiring RMS to spend more time with lawyers than emacs.

Ellison was able to turn him around durring a joy ride in one of his fighter jets. Apparently RMS doesn't like barrel rolls.

Re:Cloud is not worse than Stupidity (1)

twiddlingbits (707452) | about 5 years ago | (#27423673)

he just promised RMS he would get NASA to name the new Space Station Lab "Stallman" instead of "Colbert".

Man shakes fist at cloud... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27422809)

...news at 11.

I knew it was a hoax when.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27423131)

Weekly squash game with Stallman ???!!!
Unless 'squash' is Stallman sitting astride the Oracle CEO, then this is the giveaway right there.

Re:I knew it was a hoax when.... (1)

ustolemyname (1301665) | about 5 years ago | (#27424239)

Discussing *FASHION*.


*FASHION* of all non-Stallmanny topics.

I can't believe that didn't click right away, my mind just went along with "Oh, they were probably talking about how self-indulgent, self-centered, and irrelevant to real life fashion was".

WHAT!?!?!? THIS ISN'T REAL?!?!? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#27423497)

I KNEW you guys would steal my cloudsong! You're the m------------ who did it!

New depths of lame (3, Insightful)

Tetsujin (103070) | about 5 years ago | (#27423587)

"The new CloudLeft Public License (CPL) is based on the ideas that data wants to be Free(TM) and all your Cloud(TM) are belong to us."

Sorry, this is where I stop reading this one. Author has exceeded his lameness allowance.

Completely not funny. (2, Insightful)

eison (56778) | about 5 years ago | (#27423639)

I have had a client nix a deal done on an open source platform because they erroneously believed that the code being open source required their data to also be open source. I've seen actual legal briefs from practicing lawyers who somehow really thought that. Don't even joke about it.

Re:Completely not funny. (1)

glenstar (569572) | about 5 years ago | (#27424729)

They should be scared! There are many projects out there that have "Creative Commons" clauses (see Laconica and it's implementation identi.ca for example) that force all content in the system out into the public ether. I won't go into detail about whether this is wrong or right (it is VERY wrong!) but any business that wants to use any project that exists out there already (particularly GPLed ones) should look very long and hard at the licensing ramifications.

Tagging: you're doing it wrong (1)

f4k3r (642406) | about 5 years ago | (#27423647)

Was the story already thought to be too realistic that the author had to tag it with "aprilfools"? c'mon!

Squash? Nonsense, their sport is "Circle Jerk" (1)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | about 5 years ago | (#27423717)

'In the past, I've said that "cloud" is complete gibberish, but while discussing fashion during my weekly squash game with Stallman he convinced me that this was a great opportunity.'

Definitely a fake; Stallman and Ellison only meet once a week for a "Circle Jerk."

However, after years of pumping effort, Ellison has become tired of waiting for the GNU Hurd "first emission."


bitrex (859228) | about 5 years ago | (#27424089)

If you look at the word long enough it starts to look really weird. It starts to look all German. ACHTUNG, DAS IST MEIN FLAMSCHMEISSER! I'd like it if they brought back Friendster as it was before it became mostly for Asians.

better than most (1)

hguorbray (967940) | about 5 years ago | (#27424399)

of the stories posted today, yet not a lot of responses -too subtle??

Oh well -I need to go check and see if this post shows up in 'achievements' in my profile

-I'm just sayin'

You missed the mark! (1)

MrCrassic (994046) | about 5 years ago | (#27424761)

I can see what the poster tried to do here, but something is weak here.

Ah yes, it's the sauce.

Can CADIE do something funny so that I can get more lolz here?
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