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Ball And Chain To Force Children To Study

samzenpus posted more than 5 years ago | from the school-chain-gang dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 346

You haven't tried everything to get your kids to study until you've tried the Study Ball. The Study Ball is a 21-pound prison-style device that locks onto your child's leg and only unlocks after a predetermined amount of study time has passed. The homework manacles can't be locked for more than four hours, and come with a safety key. The product website states, "Quite often, students who are having problems concentrating tend to get up every ten minutes to watch TV, talk on the phone, take something out of the fridge, and a long list of other distractions. Were they to dedicate all this wasted time to studying, they would optimise their performance and have more free time available. Study Ball helps you study more and more efficiently." Stop Teasing Your Brother Pepper Spray coming soon.

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Laughably Medieval (4, Insightful)

eldavojohn (898314) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000475)

Make the act of studying have a negative association with it in the child's mind. That way when they depend on themselves to learn things later in life, they'll be reminded of your horrible freedom inhibiting imprisonment technique.

This should work exactly as well as physically abusing your child when he or she does something wrong. That way when they are faced with conflict later in life, they follow in your steps and resort to violence.

Oh, by the way, 9.5 kg (21 pounds)!? What kid is that going to inhibit? I was walking up and down fields picking up rocks heavier than that by the time I was in grade school! If that stops your kid from moving, you've got other parenting problems to worry about ... or is this just about wearing a red letter 'A' around so everyone knows you should be studying right now?

Were they to dedicate all this wasted time to studying, they would optimise their performance and have more free time available.

Not always true. Read this article [slashdot.org] .

Re:Laughably Medieval (5, Funny)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000571)

Make the act of studying have a negative association with it in the child's mind. That way when they depend on themselves to learn things later in life, they'll be reminded of your horrible freedom inhibiting imprisonment technique.

Wouldn't the biological alternative, "parents", also trigger such an effect?
       

Re:Laughably Medieval (2, Funny)

Presto Vivace (882157) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000613)

Does child protective services know about this?

Re:Laughably Medieval (1, Informative)

mapkinase (958129) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000713)

Make the act of studying have a negative association with it in the child's mind. That way when they depend on themselves to learn things later in life, they'll be reminded of your horrible freedom inhibiting imprisonment technique.

This should work exactly as well as physically abusing your child when he or she does something wrong. That way when they are faced with conflict later in life, they follow in your steps and resort to violence.

Utter BS. I was physically punished when I did not do well in school by my mother in the beginning until I became an A student. Later in life I graduated college Magna cum laude and did my Ph.D.

The older I get the more thankful I get to my mother for those lessons.

You can claim other negative effects of corporal punishment later in life, but that particular effect you wrote about is complete nonsense.

Re:Laughably Medieval (5, Insightful)

eldavojohn (898314) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000835)

Make the act of studying have a negative association with it in the child's mind. That way when they depend on themselves to learn things later in life, they'll be reminded of your horrible freedom inhibiting imprisonment technique.

This should work exactly as well as physically abusing your child when he or she does something wrong. That way when they are faced with conflict later in life, they follow in your steps and resort to violence.

Utter BS. I was physically punished when I did not do well in school by my mother in the beginning until I became an A student. Later in life I graduated college Magna cum laude and did my Ph.D.

The older I get the more thankful I get to my mother for those lessons.

You can claim other negative effects of corporal punishment later in life, but that particular effect you wrote about is complete nonsense.

Ah, the magna cum laude doctor cites an anecdote of their own personal experience and considers my point rendered complete nonsense. I bow to your supreme intelligence, my lord.

So I assume you beat your child when he or she does poorly at school?

Nowhere did I say that corporal punishment leads to violence 100% of the time or that it has no positive effects. You could be a straight A student and still physically attack your opponents. Not that child psychology is a solid science but I think studies support my argument [psychiatryonline.org] (there's more than just that [google.com] ).

Re:Laughably Medieval (5, Insightful)

mosb1000 (710161) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001095)

I've never met a person who was a PHD, or who had straight A's that didn't have a personality disorder of some kind. Something has to be wrong with anyone who would be willing to put up with that much bs for that many years for almost no reason at all. It says something about your priorities.

Re:Laughably Medieval (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001229)

Clearly you don't know me.
Just joking, my PhD is not finished yet...

Re:Laughably Medieval (5, Funny)

Fujisawa Sensei (207127) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001265)

I've never met a person who was a PHD, or who had straight A's that didn't have a personality disorder of some kind. Something has to be wrong with anyone who would be willing to put up with that much bs for that many years for almost no reason at all. It says something about your priorities.

So? I've never met a person who didn't have a personality disorder of some sort.

Re:Laughably Medieval (5, Funny)

Chris Burke (6130) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001479)

So? I've never met a person who didn't have a personality disorder of some sort.

Hm, interesting. So if personality disorders are, as a class, normal, and a "disorder" is by definition something functioning abnormally, then would this not mean that psychologists should recognize Lack of Personality Disorder Disorder?

Treatment for this disorder would be quite straightforward, though the ethics of giving someone Post Traumatic Stress Disorder to cure their Lack of Personality Disorder Disorder are questionable.

Re:Laughably Medieval (5, Insightful)

Fallingcow (213461) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001491)

So? I've never met a person who didn't have a personality disorder of some sort.

It's so true. A big part of getting to know someone isn't figuring out whether they're fucked up in the head, but how.

That goes double for getting to know yourself.

Re:Laughably Medieval (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001431)

no no no the BS comes many years before the PHD...

Re:Laughably Medieval (5, Insightful)

Anrego (830717) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001299)

In this debate people always assume corporal punishment means beating the daylight out of your kids.

I`m also in the same boat as mapkinase. If I didn't do homework (my parents never demanded I get straight A's .. but I had to at least be putting in reasonable effort) I'd get punished. As it turned out, this method worked very effectively.. and I did very well in school.. and now have a great job/life.

And despite what various extremist think-of-the-children types will say.. I`m not some seething bottle of rage who has flashbacks of getting yelled at and attacks people at random as a result.

The problem is that people try to think of kids as little adults when they are in fact just kids. You can't always reason with a kid.. because they don't have the same ability to weigh options that adults do (I know when I was a kid I sure didn't). A little negative re-enforcement (do something wrong.. get punished) is sometimes the best way.

And I truly believe that kids today have more problems as a result of being treated as fragile ornaments who will be screwed up for the rest of their life if you even look at them in a menacing way.

Re:Laughably Medieval (5, Interesting)

Chris Burke (6130) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001671)

And despite what various extremist think-of-the-children types will say.. I`m not some seething bottle of rage who has flashbacks of getting yelled at and attacks people at random as a result.

Yeah. I got spanked as a kid -- there's a difference between "spanking" and "beating" -- and honestly all my worst memories and issues regarding my parents are from when they hurt me emotionally, not physically. Some of those spanking straightened me out faster than anything else could have when I really needed to be straightened out, yet I got over the physical pain almost immediately. On the other hand things my parents might say, not even in the context of discipline, stuck in my craw for years.

Now of course there are parents that go to far and beat their kids too hard or too often and it loses all meaning and simply becomes abuse.

Outside of that extreme, I'm much more horrified by the parents who use guilt and passive-aggression to "discipline" their kids than the ones who spank their ass and then say what's done is done.

Re:Laughably Medieval (0, Flamebait)

amilo100 (1345883) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001579)

Utter Bullshit. In you initial post you did not give any evidence and you jumped from a conclusion that was completely unsupported.

In this argument you cite articles that talk of parental abuse â" which is completely different from corporal punishment. I can only assume that you did not read the cited article (that was written in 1969!). It is clear that this article references domestic violence (such as unwarranted assault, cigarette burning, etc...).
You do not make the distinction between well adjusted corporal punishment and abuse and try to use weasel words at every opportunity. You are not interested in discussion or evidence but the promotion of your own viewpoint.

So I assume you beat your child when he or she does poorly at school?

Here you use the word beat to try and suggest that he abuses his children. This is both incredibly dishonest and mischievous. The correct word is spank.

Re:Laughably Medieval (2, Funny)

jcr (53032) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001073)

The older I get the more thankful I get to my mother for those lessons.

Why do I get the feeling that we're going to be hearing about you as the central figure in a tragic event any day now?

"He was kind of a loner", said his not-very-surprised colleagues...

-jcr

Re:Laughably Medieval (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28000761)

Make the act of studying have a negative association with it in the child's mind. That way when they depend on themselves to learn things later in life, they'll be reminded of your horrible freedom inhibiting imprisonment technique.

Actually, this is why I still resent my 3rd grade teacher, one of only two people in my life that I still hold some sort of grudge against. Not only did she practice collective punishment for the actions of a single student, but her favored form of punishment was extra homework, and she didn't assign homework on the weekends because she didn't want to "ruin" our weekends.

It was the first time in my childhood that I was introduced to the idea that homework wasn't fun. What a great life lesson, huh? I wonder what kinds of things I might have accomplished later in life if I hadn't had the joy of studying drained out of me at that age.

Re:Laughably Medieval (1)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000791)

Make the act of studying have a negative association with it in the child's mind. That way when they depend on themselves to learn things later in life, they'll be reminded of your horrible freedom inhibiting imprisonment technique.

Similar to "no friends, no phone calls, no going out, no playing [Wii || Xbox360 || PS3], no anything until your homework is done"?

Re:Laughably Medieval (1)

cml4524 (1520403) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000995)

Did you really just ask if positive and negative reinforcement are similar?

Re:Laughably Medieval (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001471)

Yes. Though "no playing games" and "here lets chain you to this desk a few hours" are a bit different. They may try to accomplish the same thing, but if that's really necessary, I doubt the kid would actually study, more sit there until the time runs out.

What if there's a fire? Unlikely, but would this really be worth it? Someone who tries to avoid studying that much won't learn anything, even if they do study.

There are more important things in life than a good job or a good college. Try happiness.

Straight out of the Stainless Steel Rat books (2, Interesting)

StCredZero (169093) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000831)

The sons Harry Harrison's famous sci-fi super-criminal, the "Stainless Steel Rat," were sent to the harshest military academy in known space, because no other institution would be able to get them to do even a little of their studying. Apparently, the boys did do their studies because the instructors kept recapturing them and chaining them to their desk. As a side effect, they also became expert lockpicks.

http://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Stainless-Steel-Harry-Harrison/dp/0441004229/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242671490&sr=8-1 [amazon.com]

Re:Laughably Medieval (-1, Offtopic)

web-tasarim (1557263) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000863)

thnx for information. web tasarim [kurumsaldizayn.com]

Home Waterboarding? (1)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000887)

Indeed. I think more modern techniques should be offered.

Home Waterboarding?

Nothing inspires the will to learn in a child like the fear of drowning.

Off the cuff (4, Funny)

rumblin'rabbit (711865) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001153)

And what, prey tell, is wrong with the good ol' fashion genital cuffs? I know water boarding is the "in" thing these days, but there's no reason to abandon traditional methods when they work just fine.

I was raised on the cuffs, and my scholastic performance was excellent, thank you very much.

Re:Laughably Medieval (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001169)

Make the act of studying have a negative association with it in the child's mind.

Yes, because your "D" student obviously views studying as "the funnest thing EV-AR"

Re:Laughably Medieval (1)

amilo100 (1345883) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001235)

This should work exactly as well as physically abusing your child when he or she does something wrong. That way when they are faced with conflict later in life, they follow in your steps and resort to violence.

The old âoecorporal punishment is abuseâ spiel. You said initially that the negative association (chain&ball) with studying is going to condition the children to dislike studying later on their own. This is known as negative reinforcement and it is true phenomenon.

Then you jumped to the conclusion that negative reinforcement will not work if you teach your child not to do a certain action which is deemed as undesirable.

This is an illogical jump to a conclusion that has nothing to do with the previous discussion. Negative reinforcement will work in this case too. As an example: if a child hurts animals (which most children do at one stage or another) and you apply a slap, the child will be less likely to do that action in the future.

Re:Laughably Medieval (1)

dbialac (320955) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001273)

God, I agree with this 100%. If you want your kids to succeed in school, talk with their teachers an reward your kids based on their efforts. Communication shouldn't just happen at parent teacher conferences. It should be happening constantly so you know what is going on. Don't be a helecopter though -- don't try to influence the teacher. Just use that communication to provide the appropriate rewards and punishments to your child.

Phew! (4, Funny)

thewils (463314) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000511)

For a moment there I thought you were talking about the old trouble and strife!

Re:Phew! (1)

NeverVotedBush (1041088) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000735)

I don't know... I'm thinking four of these, some tasty libations, a feather, some lube, some kind of electrical device (both vibrating and with conductive pads), and one could have a pretty good time! ;-)

Re:Phew! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001141)

You really think you could fit four of them?

ADD/ADHD (3, Insightful)

bradgoodman (964302) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000559)

As a [former] child with ADD, and the parent of a child with ADD, I can say without doubt, that this device will do nothing to force someone of the sort to focus and study.

And it is quite apparent by the nature of the device, that it was either designed to - or would strongly appeal to be used in such cases.

Re:ADD/ADHD (3, Insightful)

Lemmy Caution (8378) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000661)

As someone who has followed the career of the Yes Men [wikipedia.org] , I sense a merry blend of social satire and commentary in this product announcement.

Re:ADD/ADHD (1)

cayenne8 (626475) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000677)

From the article: ""Quite often, students who are having problems concentrating tend to get up every ten minutes to watch TV, talk on the phone, take something out of the fridge, and a long list of other distractions."

Hell, doing that stuff on multiple breaks was about the ONLY way I could study. Sitting still in a totally quiet room would not get anything done for me studying or writing papers.

Even while working I had to have music and/or the tv on at least in the background. If I'm in a totally quiet room, that's when my mind wanders and I get distracted...

Maybe it is kinda like sleeping, to fall asleep, I really almost need to have the TV on, it is my nightlight. I set the timer to turn itself off after I fall asleep so that a loud commercial doesn't wake me late at night when at a light cycle of sleep. But, I have a hard time going to bed in a quiet, dark room.

Re:ADD/ADHD (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001531)

I'm sorry you're worthless, but ADD is a crutch.

http://www.adhdfraud.org/ [adhdfraud.org]

I could use this... (5, Funny)

scubamage (727538) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000565)

...to help me study for my CCNP exam. I keep finding ways to get distracted by more exciting material (squirrels, birds, my girlfriend, my rabbit, watching grass grow...)

Re:I could use this... (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001295)

If it weren't for the mention of a Cisco cert, I would have been puzzled by the placement of squirrels before girlfriend...

Re:I could use this... (1)

tarks (529856) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001525)

If it weren't for the mention of a Cisco cert, I would have been puzzled by the placement of squirrels before girlfriend...

and in the same list with "watching grass grow"

The House is on Fire!!! (5, Funny)

alta (1263) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000577)

Everybody RUN!

1 hours later...
Fireman: WTF do you mean your child had a ball and chain strapped to their leg?!
Retarded Parent: It was to help them study, and it was easily heavy enough for them to lift.
Fireman: But it got stuck under the table because of the panic and now your child is a crispy critter.
Policeman: Sir, please put your hands behind your back.

Heh, no I'm not some liberal pansy that doesn't believe in doing things that are harsh. I just don't care for stupid. If my kids dont' study I beat them with the ball and chain, not strap them to it!

Re:The House is on Fire!!! (1)

silas_moeckel (234313) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000985)

I have a better plan sit there with them while they study instead of watching tv surfing the internet etc. Traditionally this is what the kitchen table is used for. I know I know advocating parenting over some device so you can have more free time, if you wanted free time you should have skipped procreating.

Re:The House is on Fire!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001585)

My mother used to do this with my brother. He wasn't very focused and she would spend about 2-3 hours a day with him, this is of course after a full day's worth at work and then cooking dinner. He did well through HS and the first two years of college. Then FFXI came out and the almost all Fs the next two semesters and kicked out of school. Some people can't be helped but you can only try your best. He did end up with a degree after coming back home and go to a local college.

Re:The House is on Fire!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001289)

yesterday the carport next to my apartment caught on fire. Fire department came and took care of the whole problem before too much damage was done to the carport and fortunately no cars were destroyed or people hurt.

However, having just experienced looking out my window and seeing huge billowing flames 20 feet away, I can assure you that the amount of panic involved was non trivial. If you actual home was on fire and you had to use a safety key, I can only imagine that the amount of panic is going to increase significantly .. maybe to the point where using a safety key becomes difficult or impossible.

Now all we need... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28000579)

Is to reinstate the wrack and we got ourselves a whole new definition of tough love.

Re:Now all we need... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28000819)

Who doesn't like a teacher's rack [guzer.com] ?

Little do they know... (4, Funny)

pwnies (1034518) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000589)

Ball and chains are my fetish, and good luck trying to get it to stop me from alt+tabbing to my cowboy neal porn.

What?! (3, Insightful)

symes (835608) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000601)

Surely making the subject fun, interesting would be a better way of encouraging students? I guess if you're a parent who can't be bothered and a teacher that can't teach then, sure, get the stocks out... but really. This must be a joke.

Re:What?! (1)

NotSoHeavyD3 (1400425) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001083)

Surely making the subject fun, interesting would be a better way of encouraging students?

Ahh, I understand that you've never taken a foreign language course in college :-)

Re:What?! (1)

hey! (33014) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001315)

Let's not get hasty and overhaul our entire academic system. Surely getting rid of telephones and televisions would be less drastic.

Re:What?! (3, Informative)

Quiet_Desperation (858215) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001493)

Surely making the subject fun, interesting would be a better way of encouraging students?

Not really, no. I have a friend who used to teach at the middle school level. She was a good teacher, but there are just a lot of kids who don't care about education, are raised by parents who don't care about education, or come from subcultures that don't care about education. Generally, all three are in play, enforcing one another. There's nothing to be done from the outside about that, and the kids who do break out of the vicious cycle do so mainly through their own efforts, and a few who are just flat out intelligent enough to never get trapped by it. She helped the ones she could.

The ball and chain won't help, and it's only use is in being totally and completely hilarious.

Where's the foot icon? (3, Funny)

erroneus (253617) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000611)

It just needs a slight modification is all!

Further uses (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000617)

Is there one to make us stop trolling slashdot?
     

Re:Further uses (2, Funny)

BobMcD (601576) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000751)

As evidenced by your post, no.

HA!

lawsuit waiting to happen (2, Informative)

freedom_surfer (203272) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000623)

First time someone doesn't get out of a burning building, or tumbles down the stairs will spell the end of this company...

For any kid stuck with this (4, Funny)

dkleinsc (563838) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000627)

Use your pickaxe to dig a pit in the floor, drag the ball into the pit, and push a boulder into the pit.

Oh, wait, real life doesn't work quite like Nethack.

Bathroom breaks? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28000651)

Yea, the idea could def help - even with adults w/ adhd like myself. But I'd imagine myself having to deprive myself of fluids to make anything like this work :P

Re:Bathroom breaks? (4, Funny)

nizo (81281) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000711)

Luckily it comes with a matching chamberpot.

Re:Bathroom breaks? (1)

Chris Burke (6130) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001529)

In that case I say just chain them to the chamberpot. The kid might still run around with the weight around their ankle, but they aren't going to dare do anything that might tip the chamberpot!

Wow...just wow.. (1)

markass530 (870112) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000655)

Capatilism gone wrong? Crazy parents gone wild? it's hard to pin point what the hell went wrong here, but it bears out the old idiom the truth is stranger than fiction, skimmed TFA and saw it's british, here in the US social services and society as a whole are overwhelmingly knee jerk on topics like this, and I wouldn't be suprised if a parent that put this on their child ended up in bracelets.

Cell Phone (2, Informative)

Psychotic_Wrath (693928) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000657)

Don't most kids these days have cell phones? I really don't see this being very effective It isn't that hard to move with a 21 pound ball. It would prevent most physical types of activities, but just sitting around or moving the ball to the TV and watching TV really isn't going to be very difficult.

Re:Cell Phone (1)

Andy Dodd (701) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001249)

Also, nowadays even for middle and high school, kids are going to use a computer to do work and study.

Ball or not, they're gonna alt-tab to Facebook, etc.

Bathroom? (1)

steelclash84 (1129221) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000679)

It looks like the whole point of this device is to make it so the parents don't have to...be parents and help their children study... In that case, having to unlock the kid to use the bathroom seems counter-productive, unless it comes with a catheter (valued at $19.99), absolutely free! In all seriousness, this generation of parents that would actually consider buying such a device have worked very hard at removing themselves from an active parenting role. Parents of the new age are TV, video games, and ritalin.

Profit (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28000689)

1. Child will not study because he's not interested or doesn't care
2. Strap a 21 lb short range weapon to the body of that child
3. Leave them locked in it for 4 hours
4. Claim insurance on all the broken shit in the house from his rampage
5. Profit!

This is not a study tool so much as an investment.

So... (0)

jellomizer (103300) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000693)

You couldn't take the kids cell phone, make sure the TV isn't on when he suppose to study, and monitor heavily what he is browsing on the Internet.

Rantenki (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28000727)

Good thing we don't have housefires anymore. One of those things would be really problematic if the kid needed to get out of the house in a hurry.

Just add.. (1)

Ponder Stibions (962426) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000741)

a slow fuse to the device. If the required task (math problem etc) isn't completed in the required time....BOOM. Simple incentive based learning.

Price: 75 Pounds?? (3, Informative)

Cornflake917 (515940) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000771)

TFA said it costs 75 pounds. Not only would you be a retarded parent for torturing your kid and making him associate studying with confinement, but you would be retarded because even if you wanted to such a stupid thing, you could do it for much, much cheaper.

Re:Price: 75 Pounds?? (1)

MostAwesomeDude (980382) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001453)

If only it weighed 75 pounds, too. By the time I reached middle school, I had no problem carrying around 30lb+ computers and monitors. Now, to be fair, I'm more athletic than most geeks, but a 20-pound ball isn't gonna do shit against kids.

Re:Price: 75 Pounds?? (1)

The Grim Reefer2 (1195989) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001701)

I'm more athletic than most geeks, but a 20-pound ball isn't gonna do shit against kids.

True, but the kid can use it to knock some sense into the parent for making them wear the stupid thing.

Seriously?!!! (1)

kilgor (461669) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000787)

Checking the date.... Nope, not April 1st... WTF!!!

Re:Seriously?!!! (1)

anagama (611277) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001101)

Maybe not April 1st, but still, it says that it uses AAA batteries. There does not appear to be a wire stretching from ball to manacle. The manacle is incredibly thin -- where are the batteries going to fit? Or for that matter, where is the electrically actuated lock works going to fit? I'm skeptical that it is a real product.

I hope (1)

scharkalvin (72228) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000803)

that it comes with diapers!

Whats with parents? (5, Funny)

Volda (1113105) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000919)

Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV? Sitting down with your children? And hitting them?

Re:Whats with parents? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001625)

Have you ever tried simply turning off the TV? Sitting down with your children? And hitting them?

No. Nope. Why, yes!

is a waterboarding kit next? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28000929)

For those "where were you when you broke curfew last night?" moments...

(I hope the original post is fake, this is all so ridiculous)

Will no one say it? (4, Funny)

frovingslosh (582462) | more than 5 years ago | (#28000931)

Do not taunt happy fun ball and chain.

Motivation (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001009)

Remember: in this house, we finish our math homework. Then we go poop.

Welcome to the old economy (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001017)

It is a parent's duty to introduce their children to the corporate slavery, that is their future, at an early age. Slavery has been the economic model of the ages. It is a simple solution to a working economy. An economy is defined by the rich. According to its definers it is working when the rich are getting richer.

fun, fun fun (2, Insightful)

jd142 (129673) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001019)

Shoot, I'll pick up a couple just for weekend fun in my dungeon.

Re:fun, fun fun (1)

tech_fixer (1541657) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001297)

Just wait until they release the Electronic Chastity Belt to complement the Ball. ;)

Sadomasochism (1)

indre1 (1422435) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001021)

<-- title says it all.

When I was a kid... (1)

jcr (53032) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001023)

It would have taken me about five seconds to smash a contraption like that to bits.

-jcr

Re:When I was a kid... (1)

Chih (1284150) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001405)

When I was a kid... I would have used a contraption like this to smash everything else. Parents beware 8D

Wont' work (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001055)

So instead of the child wandering off from studying every once in a while to watch TV, the child will pick up the ball, wander to the TV and watch for a bit. Then any inclination to go back and study will be counteracted by the thought that he'll have to pick up the weight again, and he'll go back to TV.

You mind your place mister... (1)

Sponge Bath (413667) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001103)

...or you'll be wearing concrete galoshes.

Parenting tips from (old school) Scotty.

They should... (1)

tech_fixer (1541657) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001131)

...use these on Microsoft developers!

Maybe then we can get a workable Windows XP replacement.

Am I the only one (1)

Bardez (915334) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001145)

... who thinks that this would be a great way to induce creative thinking in kids? They could discover how to MacGyver the thing into letting them go, short circuit the timer, break the chain, etc. Also, it would be useful as a weapon; help the neighborhood bully with his homework and leave him in the basement, starving. Or, you could work extra chain links to make it longer, and make it useful for sneaking out at night!

Ok, enough kidding. This thing is ridiculous.

Creative applications (1)

Fujisawa Sensei (207127) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001179)

Now this might not be feasible for use by children, but I'm certain many of managers out there would love to implement it in their office.

You've got to be kidding me! (1)

n1hilist (997601) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001187)

This is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Was this designed by a Concerned Parent (TM) or a dominatrix?

Re:You've got to be kidding me! (1)

Ender_Stonebender (60900) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001485)

what makes you think it wasn't designed by a concerned parent who is also a dominatrix? They're not mutually exclusive, you know!

http://thewaronkidspresskit.blogspot.com/ (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001195)

'Nuff said.

Won't work (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001221)

- Parents bent on "forcing" their children to study will frequently force their children to study for a minimum period of time. If the child doesn't want to study at that time, they will counter this by doing "BS studying"--pretending to read and absorb the text.

- If the parents went out for the evening, locked the child inside the house, and the child subsequently died in a fire due to their inability to escape, there would be hell to pay. I cannot imagine this product being legal to use on a child in any developed country. Plus, I could go to Home Depot and, for about $20, have a chain and padlock perfectly suitable for forcing a child to stay in their seat.

C'mon Fess up. (1)

happy_place (632005) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001231)

+Okay so this seems cruel and barbaric, but c'mon nowadays most parenting techniques involve a parent getting emotional and then going out and buying their child something because they feel bad they were upset at their child. Exactly how did your parents get you to study, if you were one who didn't want to stay put? I know there were times when this particular ball n chain solution was quite a bit more humane. And sometimes children need a little humiliation to choose something that's better for themselves... then again, I've a two year old... and were it not for the fire safety, I've contemplated putting the locks on the outside of his bedroom. Meh...

Re:C'mon Fess up. (4, Insightful)

Malenx (1453851) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001545)

Most parenting techniques these days are stupid. It's about spineless parents who can't say no to a child.

My Dad used to spank me with a belt if I acted up too much. But situations like studying, I'd just start losing all privileges until I was bored out of my mind. Give that a few months and you'll study just to be entertained.

When he did spank us, he'd send us to our rooms until he could calm down and think about it. Usually 1/2 hourish later he'd have us come in and talk about what we'd done. Then he'd have us pick a belt. His belts were arranged by thickness and hardness. If you picked too pansy of a belt then he'd make you get this thick huge rhine-stone covered cowboy belt that hurt like crazy. If you picked a heavier belt, you'd usually get off with less punishment.

Man, I didn't realize my dad was doing psychological warfare until I was twenty.

Oddly enough, I think he did the best he could, and the fact that he's never hit us while angry or unfairly made me really respect that form of punishment.

It wouldn't work for every kid, and I hope I'll never need any kind of punishment for my future kids like that, but for me it was probably the only punishment they could do. (ADD incarnate)

Re:C'mon Fess up. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001687)

Locks on the outside of bedrooms are warranted sometimes.

My parents locked my sister in at night when she was little since she would get up in the middle of the night and bake.

Marital aid (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001373)

I thought this was a device created for husbands, not children.

I hate kids :-) (3, Funny)

Quiet_Desperation (858215) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001399)

I wholeheartedly endorse this product.

John Lennon said it best (2, Informative)

earlymon (1116185) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001411)

From Working Class Hero:

They hurt you at home and they hit you at school,
They hate you if you're clever and they despise a fool,
Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules,
A working class hero is something to be,
A working class hero is something to be.
When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years,
Then they expect you to pick a career,
When you can't really function you're so full of fear...

Entertainment my ass - this is just sad.

Fake (1)

Sheik Yerbouti (96423) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001433)

It's shopped clearly someone is having a bit of fun and you all fell for it LOL.

lol (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28001487)

Internet hoax alert!

May not do much for studying (1)

Megahard (1053072) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001587)

But will help prepare the kid for marriage later on.

Hoax! (1)

moosehooey (953907) | more than 5 years ago | (#28001681)

Look at the photo, it's an obvious photoshop. The shackle is too thin to contain an LED display, and I don't know of any curved displays like in the photo. Also, the shackle is too thin to contain batteries, there's no wire from the ball if it were to have them, and there's no room that I can see for any kind of electrically-powered solenoid or locking device. It looks like a Halloween costume prop with a display photoshopped onto it. Besides the fact that it's totally ridiculous. Someone is messing with us.

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