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Microbes 100M Years Old Found In Termite Guts

kdawson posted more than 5 years ago | from the mutualism-in-action dept.

Earth 145

viyh writes with coverage on MSNBC of the discovery of ancient microbes fossilized in the gut of a termite. "One hundred million years ago a termite was wounded and its abdomen split open. The resin of a pine tree slowly enveloped its body and the contents of its gut. In what is now the Hukawng Valley in Myanmar, the resin fossilized and was buried until it was chipped out of an amber mine. The resin had seeped into the termite's wound and preserved even the microscopic organisms in its gut. These microbes are the forebears of the microbes that live in the guts of today's termites and help them digest wood. ... The amber preserved the microbes with exquisite detail, including internal features like the nuclei. ... Termites are related to cockroaches and split from them in evolutionary time at about the same time the termite in the amber was trapped."

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145 comments

It takes guts to be wrong (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078129)

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

  • Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
  • Richard M. Stallman [geocities.com] , spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
  • Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.fr] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com] , which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com] !

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.fr] perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children [slashdot.org] . To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.fr] terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.fr] lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual [goatse.fr] practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.fr] preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis [rotten.com] , glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.fr] 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.fr] practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net] automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously/anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no/opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com] ' originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.fr] practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.fr] who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org] .

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have homosexual [goatse.fr] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.fr] activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net] -calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.fr] child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org] , Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator [hitler.org] .

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com] .

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org] , Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org] . Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man [stileproject.com] . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org] , Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it contains hidden homosexual [goatse.fr] messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.fr] queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org] , Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.fr] Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord [atheism.org] 's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org] . Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman [geocities.com] .

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain [icopyright.com] . You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com] , but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual [goatse.fr] practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [slashdot.org] by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

Cunt Waffles (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078409)

Gosh, I love cunt waffles! [cuntwaffles.com]

Re:Cunt Waffles (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078541)

i looked at your waffles and spent some time contemplating what you mean by 'cunt waffles'. I have to say that this one has stumped me.... wtf?

Re:Cunt Waffles (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28079003)

I much prefer Shitwaffles [encycloped...matica.com]

Re:Cunt Waffles (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28079219)

again.. wtf?

Re:It takes guts to be wrong (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28080401)

tl; dr

You forgot one more creature that split: +1, True (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078139)

from cockroaches. Tthis creature goes by the name of Presidet-VICE Richard B. Cheney [whitehouse.org] .

Yours In Communism,
Kilgore Trout

Re:You forgot one more creature that split: +1, Tr (-1, Offtopic)

phantomfive (622387) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078423)

You know what, I've been 100% against torture from the beginning, and I was glad to see Cheney leave office, but I think he's doing a real service to the country in one way, and that is, he is sincere.

He is out there defending himself because he believes what he did was the correct course of action. Not only that, millions of other Americans agree with him. So by being sincere, and bringing the debate into the open, we are having a true, democratic debate over what the correct policy is. When was the last time that happened in America? Isn't it a nice change from Rove/Pelosi, who basically say whatever they can to discount their opponent? Here we are having an open debate on the subject between Obama and Cheney, and it is making people think. And that is a good thing.

I don't like Cheney, but I defend his right to speak out; especially when he is sincere (and frankly (and sadly) has more clarity of purpose than most of the rest of the Republican party right now).

Re:You forgot one more creature that split: +1, Tr (0, Offtopic)

MichaelSmith (789609) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078471)

You know what, I've been 100% against torture from the beginning

Well good for you!

Re:You forgot one more creature that split: +1, Tr (0, Offtopic)

phantomfive (622387) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078555)

Hey man, just 'cause you weren't is no reason to be bitter. You can change now and be on the right side. ;)

Re:You forgot one more creature that split: +1, Tr (-1, Offtopic)

rubycodez (864176) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078779)

sincerely committing treason lining his pockets with defense contractor money. to hell with that dirt bag.

but is there any dinosaur dna in there? (5, Funny)

spiffmastercow (1001386) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078147)

I mean, we *could* clone the microbes preserved in amber.. But that's just not as exciting, is it?

Re:but is there any dinosaur dna in there? (4, Informative)

CRCulver (715279) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078187)

While Crichton's Jurassic Park [amazon.com] did indeed have scientists cloning dinosaurs from blood sucked up by mosquitos now trapped in amber, supplementing the missing portions with amphibian DNA, I've seen that possibility more or less debunked since the novel was published. Much more promising seems the idea of using soft tissues that are by some great luck preserved inside fossils, of which a couple of cases have been publicized in recent years.

Yes, but it's in Chickens, not frogs (5, Interesting)

anotheregomaniac (1439993) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078309)

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1026340/Jurassic-Park-comes-true-How-scientists-bringing-dinosaurs-life-help-humble-chicken.html [mailonsunday.co.uk] According to Jack Horner, professor of palaeontology at Montana State University, the answer is an unequivocal yes. He says: "Of course we can bring them back to life. Their ancestral DNA is still present. "The science is there. I don't think there are any barriers, other than the philosophical."

Re:Yes, but it's in Chickens, not frogs (2, Insightful)

EdZ (755139) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078621)

I'll take anything written in the Mail with a grain of salt. Or rather, several tons of Sodium Chloride.

Re:Yes, but it's in Chickens, not frogs (0, Offtopic)

gyrogeerloose (849181) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079639)

a grain of salt. Or rather, several tons of Sodium Chloride

I can supply that for you. Take a look here. [youtube.com]

Re:Yes, but it's in Chickens, not frogs (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078719)

"The science is there. I don't think there are any barriers, other than the philosophical."

Man SHALL NOT recreate the Raptor Jesus.

Re:Yes, but it's in Chickens, not frogs (4, Funny)

rhyder128k (1051042) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079313)

This tech can only lead to one thing: John McCain II for 2032!

Screw that! (4, Funny)

msimm (580077) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079023)

Just clone the meat! Delicious dinosaur meat.

Re:Screw that! (4, Interesting)

Hurricane78 (562437) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079197)

And it might just be possible, that it really tastes like chicken! :D

Re:Screw that! (5, Funny)

fireheadca (853580) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079605)

This is what killed them off, their tastiness.

OMG! That's why they went extinct...GACK! (3, Funny)

refactored (260886) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078475)

*Cough* ...these microbes killed all the dinosaurs and now they have got m

Re:but is there any dinosaur dna in there? (3, Funny)

CarpetShark (865376) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078517)

I mean, we *could* clone the microbes preserved in amber.. But that's just not as exciting, is it?

What's not exciting about out-of-control velocotermites?

Re:but is there any dinosaur dna in there? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078791)

Welcome to Jurassic Microbe Park: ROWWRRR!!!

There's a Far Side cartoon in here somewhere...

Re:but is there any dinosaur dna in there? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28079433)

What? And have "Jurassic Stomach Flu?"
That sounds a thousand times scarier than any Spielberg blockbuster!

Re:but is there any dinosaur dna in there? (4, Interesting)

squidinkcalligraphy (558677) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079539)

Well, I guess if you _are_ going to clone dinosaurs (and I'm not saying that you should), and you want your new best friend to have a fighting chance of survival, you might actually also need to clone the ecosystem of microbes and bacteria that would have lived in an on it back in its day. If you can find some dinosaur bacteria.

Re:but is there any dinosaur dna in there? (1)

SlashWombat (1227578) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080415)

I'd be more worried about Termite Flu" myself!

Summer block buster (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078201)

One hundred million years ago a termite was wounded and its abdomen split open

That would make a better film than most of the crap out there at the moment.

Re:Summer block buster (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078251)

Don't give them any ideas. Next thing you know, they'll start making big budget special effects movies about trade disputes and other lame-ass shit like that.

Re:Summer block buster (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078301)

Your thinking about quantum of solace yes?

Re:Summer block buster (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078363)

Which was actually based on a true story.

Re:Summer block buster (1, Offtopic)

ciderVisor (1318765) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078487)

A well-reasoned critique of QoS [thebestpag...iverse.net] .

Re:Summer block buster (1)

thetoadwarrior (1268702) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078677)

While I agree that QoS wasn't the best Bond film around. I feel it was a bit too judgemental. That and it didn't mention the opening song, which actually is the worst part of the film.

Re:Summer block buster (1)

VGPowerlord (621254) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080409)

That and it didn't mention the opening song, which actually is the worst part of the film.

This song [youtube.com] ?

Re:Summer block buster (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078863)

Actually, I was thinking of The Phantom Menace. I haven't bothered to see Quantum yet. It seems kind of pointless to actively seek out a movie when you know it's going to be shown ad nauseum for the rest of your life, simply because it's part of a profitable series of movies -- most of which aren't very good.

Re:Summer block buster (4, Insightful)

mangu (126918) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078497)

That would make a better film than most of the crap out there at the moment.

How would that be? The evil mastermind, who owns a pest control company, revives the prehistoric termites immune to modern pesticides. And the hero, aided by his beautiful lab assistant, releases into the environment the ancient bacteria that are the termites only natural enemy.

Re:Summer block buster (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28079145)

That would make a better film than most of the crap out there at the moment.

How would that be? The evil mastermind, who owns a pest control company, revives the prehistoric termites immune to modern pesticides. And the hero, aided by his beautiful lab assistant, releases into the environment the ancient bacteria that are the termites only natural enemy.

I hate to break it to you but some one at SciFi Channel saw your post and the movie version will be on next week.

Re:Summer block buster (4, Funny)

ari wins (1016630) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079207)

Make the hero another female, and throw in a hot sex scene in the amber mines of Mynnamar, and I'll buy the first ticket.

Re:Summer block buster (4, Funny)

theskipper (461997) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079255)

Hot lesbian termite sex?

I dunno. Maybe.

Re:Summer block buster (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28080097)

Hot lesbian termite sex?

Probably not... termites prefer wood.

Re:Summer block buster (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28080147)

Aren't terminates hermaphrodites?

Re:Summer block buster (2, Funny)

TeknoHog (164938) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080435)

Aren't terminates hermaphrodites?

Dunno about terminates, but thermites are thermaphrodites, at least when in heat.

Re:Summer block buster (1)

shadowbearer (554144) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079569)

It's unlikely that prehistoric termites would be immune to modern pesticides. They wouldn't have had any reason to develop such an immunity...

  oh, you were being facetious? ;)

SB

Re:Summer block buster (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28079793)

It's called the Andromeda strain.

Re:Summer block buster (1)

BiggerIsBetter (682164) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080353)

How would that be? The evil mastermind, who owns a pest control company, revives the prehistoric termites immune to modern pesticides. And the hero, aided by his beautiful lab assistant, releases into the environment the ancient bacteria that are the termites only natural enemy.

I think I've seen this one... It ends when the gorillas freeze to death in the winter.

Re:Summer block buster (2, Informative)

bjcopeland (70793) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079481)

One hundred million years ago a termite was wounded and its abdomen split open

That would make a better film than most of the crap out there at the moment.

Heh sounds like the beginning of an 'Alien' sequel.

I for one... (0, Redundant)

l_bratch (865693) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078241)

I for one welcome our new termite dwelling microbe overlords.

Amber preservation (5, Interesting)

zippthorne (748122) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078279)

Seems even better than mummification for preserving the dead. We should figure out how to make it, and stick some creatures from our own time in it, including larger specimens for future paleontologists to ponder over. Like, famous politicians, as a reward for their service.

Re:Amber preservation (5, Interesting)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078327)

Like, famous politicians, as a reward for their service.

Do we have to wait 'til they die? I know a few individuals that I'd love to preserve that way right now. For their incredible service, of course...

Re:Amber preservation (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28079229)

Your sig is all wrong. In Soviet Russia, the government IS the commerce. It's the free economics you retarded Americans always dreamed of!

Re:Amber preservation (1, Insightful)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079263)

Your sig is all wrong. In Soviet Russia, the government IS the commerce. It's the free economics you retarded Americans always dreamed of!

Now, now ... no need to sling epithets around, you foreign prick.

Re:Amber preservation (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080671)

Do we have to wait 'til they die? I know a few individuals that I'd love to preserve that way right now.

Please, don't give them the idea of amber-boarding.
     

Re:Amber preservation (4, Interesting)

RichardJenkins (1362463) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078407)

Why not just encode the genomes of as many species as possible, and bury it somewhere geologically inactive - like the moon - with a big x painted on top of it. Would probably be cheaper.

Re:Amber preservation (4, Interesting)

MartinSchou (1360093) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079193)

Would degrade in sunlight.

No, encase it in a huge container ... something obviously not naturally occuring. Maybe a huge slab of obsidian. Make it really stand out ... say 4 times as wide as deep and 9 times as high as it is deep.

Then you bury that at the bottom of a large crater on the moon. Deep down so it doesn't just end up surfacing on its own.

Re:Amber preservation (1)

thaddeusthudpucker (1082657) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079775)

i take it nobody got the 2001 reference...pity.

Re:Amber preservation (1)

css-hack (1038154) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080729)

Haha that was my first thought when I read the mod on GP's comment. But then, I thought, perhaps they did.... If I had points, I don't know if I'd have given funny or insightful.

Re:Amber preservation (1)

T Murphy (1054674) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080171)

Put it in an elevator on the dark side of the moon. Almost worked for superman- just have to duct tape the doors together so the light doesn't get between the cracks.

Re:Amber preservation (1)

viyh (620825) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078551)

Like what they did with Vladmir Lenin [wikipedia.org] ? Ok, it's embalmed, but that's pretty close.

Re:Amber preservation (4, Interesting)

mangu (126918) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078733)

Seems even better than mummification for preserving the dead

It probably wouldn't work for anything bigger than a termite. When I was a kid I had a tarantula encased in acrylic resin. After a year or so, the spider body started shrinking and in the end there was only a dust-filled hole in the plastic.

Even if it was totally encased in the plastic and isolated from the outside, the tarantula had enough bacteria in its guts to decompose it.

Re:Amber preservation (1)

FiveDozenWhales (1360717) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079137)

Funny, I had one of those myself as a kid, and it lasted a good six years before it got lost in a move. Though perhaps mine was treated somehow?

Re:Amber preservation (1)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079301)

Funny, I had one of those myself as a kid, and it lasted a good six years before it got lost in a move. Though perhaps mine was treated somehow?

Perhaps it had been irradiated.

Re:Amber preservation (1)

Jeff DeMaagd (2015) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079371)

It's not as if insects won't have bacteria.

I wonder if the amber has certain properties that exchanges certain materials with its captive animals to aid preservation. Maybe we don't see much larger things because there's not much amber dripping from a tree.

http://paleobiol.geoscienceworld.org/cgi/content/abstract/28/3/389 [geoscienceworld.org]

This article seems to say spiders are preserved in amber, but since the bloodsuckers that host the paper want $15 for just one day access to the paper, I'm not that desperate to know what the article says.

I found a picture of what looks like might be a sizable spider in amber:
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Aranya_fosilitzada_a_l'ambre.JPG [wikimedia.org]

Using Google Images shows a lot of spiders in amber, so maybe something as big as a tarantula might show up there.

Re:Amber preservation (1)

syousef (465911) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078771)

Seems even better than mummification for preserving the dead. We should figure out how to make it, and stick some creatures from our own time in it, including larger specimens for future paleontologists to ponder over. Like, famous politicians, as a reward for their service.

Shutting the barn door after the horse has bolted? By the time they're famous politician's they've already done their damage.

Re:Amber preservation (1)

Joebert (946227) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078793)

I can see scientists thousands of years from now finding George W. Bush encased in the resin and being overjoyed thinking they discovered the missing link between primates and, hey wait a second !

Re:Amber preservation (4, Funny)

rrohbeck (944847) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079561)

And then revive him from DNA? Now there's material for a horror movie. "Politician Park."

Re:Amber preservation (2, Funny)

Randle_Revar (229304) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079679)

Oh, shit, the Cheney got loose!

Re:Amber preservation (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28079201)

We could give them the ass creature also known as the platypus

The Way to Go (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078323)

I want to be encased in resin when I die. Like Walt Disney!

Re:The Way to Go (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080709)

I want to be encased in resin when I die. Like Walt Disney!

I dunno, I hear a bunch of goofies did a mickey-mouse job on him.
     

Epic Advemture (4, Funny)

Junior J. Junior III (192702) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078325)

Is it just me, or does the summary read like the start of a legend that serves as prelude to an epic adventure?

"One hundred million years ago a termite was wounded and its abdomen split open. The resin of a pine tree slowly enveloped its body and the contents of its gut. In what is now the Hukawng Valley in Myanmar, the resin fossilized and was buried until it was chipped out of an amber mine.

I want to go on a quest to this "Myanmar" place and find the termite amber and throw it into the nearest volcano before the Evil One's minions get their hands on it.

Re:Epic Advemture (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078531)

Is it just me, or does the summary read like the start of a legend that serves as prelude to an epic adventure?

Show me an epic, any epic or tale from any author or society ...

that starts out with disassembled termites.

Re:Epic Advemture (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078795)

Don't sure about an epic part, but X-Files had something like this.

Re:Epic Advemture (1)

psychodelicacy (1170611) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079063)

Doesn't the intro sequence to the Eric Bana Hulk movie have something very similar?

Re:Epic Advemture (1)

Da Cheez (1069822) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079767)

Show me an epic, any epic or tale from any author or society ... that starts out with disassembled termites.

Drat you and your comment! My sleep deprived mind, in a state leaving it very vulnerable to suggestion, and has taken what you said and written something incredibly stupid. Well, here it is...

One hundred million years ago a termite was wounded and its abdomen split open. The resin of a pine tree slowly enveloped its body and the contents of its gut. In what is now the Hukawng Valley in Myanmar, the resin fossilized and was buried until it was chipped out of an amber mine. The resin had seeped into the termite's wound and preserved even the microscopic organisms in its gut. These microbes are the forebears of the microbes that live in the guts of today's termites and help them digest wood, but with one exception: these microbes were intelligent. Not just intelligent like apes or dolphins or even humans, but intelligent like the gods of the ancient legends, of Greek mythology. They passed down the generations from parent to children, often times hopping species when having only one race of host became unreliable. In due time they came to infest the humans of the ancient world. They were the great minds behind the pyramids, stone henge, and other ancient wonders not yet discovered. Their hosts, worshiped as gods by other humans, were really nothing but slaves to the will of the microbes who called themselves the Cul-Sevet.

Theirs was a singular purpose: to bring forth the dawn of the Qet-Selver, or Free Dawn, and the ending of the scourge of multicellular organisms, or Det-Katak, on the face of the Earth. But the plans of the Cul-Sevet were not to be fully realized, for in time their species proved incapable of dealing with the immune systems of their ancient human hosts. They were driven into a long hibernation and mankind, thinking them extinct, forgot them.

But the Cul-Sevet are not so easily beaten, and when uncovered by amber miners in Myanmar they woke with a vengeance. Rejuvenated from over two millenia of rest and angered by the advent and malicious use of antibiotics by humans, they were bent more than ever on the destruction of Det-Katak and the bringing of Qet-Selver. This is their story. This is the beginning of the Free Dawn.

Re:Epic Advemture (4, Funny)

ozbird (127571) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078583)

Is it just me, or does the summary read like the start of a legend that serves as prelude to an epic adventure?

You have been disemboweled.

Restore, Restart, or Quit?

Re:Epic Advemture [game] (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080691)

You have been disemboweled. Restore, Restart, or Quit?

Restore? Is there such as word as "reembowelment"? Cyberland is gonna fuck with the dictionary big-time.
     

Re:Epic Advemture (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078803)

One does not simply walk into Myanmar

Re:Epic Advemture (2, Informative)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079247)

One does not simply walk into Myanmar

Sure one does. It's the walking out part that makes for the real trick.

Re:Epic Advemture (1)

Hurricane78 (562437) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079253)

Exactly. First one has to drop some bombs from some UAVs.

Re:Epic Advemture (1)

styrotech (136124) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080023)

Heh nice reference.

Seriously though, my brother did actually walk into Myanmar while he was backpacking with friends in Thailand. Just walked across some river on the border - they didn't hang around long though.

He didn't try swimming across a lake to rescue a princess... now that would be far fetched :)

oh no... (1)

MickyTheIdiot (1032226) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078357)

don't let spielburg know...

That's no microbe... (1)

creimer (824291) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078405)

"Sorry, that was my mother-in-law," says the termite.

I'm confused. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078473)

Hukawng Valley is in Burma. Or is it Myanmar this time? Guess I'll have to reach into the memory hole.

100M year old bugs (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078521)

Sounds like the work of Microsoft.

Re:100M year old bugs (1)

Spy der Mann (805235) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078755)

Sounds like the work of Microsoft.

What? You mean they DO work?

Re:100M year old bugs (1)

VGPowerlord (621254) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080483)

While it may seem like Microsoft is the source of all evil, and thus older than all of time, that hasn't been proven yet!

100 million? (5, Funny)

adamwpants (858079) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078747)

Don't you mean 6,000?

Re:100 million? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28078933)

LOL. some would actually argue this. I love ignorance...

colon cleanser (1)

ifeelswine (1546221) | more than 5 years ago | (#28078875)

that termite should have invested in ColonCleanse(tm) to dissolve the 20-30 pounds of waste that is believed to bind to our intestine walls like spackle or paste.

It's the gut microbes that made them termites (3, Interesting)

ynotds (318243) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079173)

If you, as I, accept Lynn Margulis's hypothesis, parasitic and symbiotic interactions with microbes play a much stronger role in driving evolutionary diversification than "random" mutations of the genome.

The only reasonable ref I could find quickly is from 1991: Symbiosis as a Source of Evolutionary Innovation: Speciation and Morphogenesis [mit.edu] .

Let me guess... (1)

xactuary (746078) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079235)

Weaponization begins in 3, 2, 1, ...

Quote of the Day (4, Funny)

ScrewMaster (602015) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079237)

Some primal termite knocked on wood.

And tasted it, and found it good.

And that is why your Cousin May

Fell through the parlor floor today.

-- Ogden Nash

Intelligent design (0, Redundant)

nhtshot (198470) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079275)

Put this in your intelligent designed pipe and smoke it.

I'd say that the bigger win here is the additional proof of evolution.

Re:Intelligent design (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28079461)

IANAC (creationist) But I want to know, how similar (genetically, anthropomorphically) is the termite in the amber to today's termites. Evolution over 100 million years? SuperTermite is what we should have compared to this. Ditto for the Bacteria.

Re:Intelligent design (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28080535)

evolution is just change, there is no guarantee that its change for the better (or that the change will even be noticeable)

Mutualism vs Symbiosis (3, Informative)

4181 (551316) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079277)

From the article:

Without the protozoa, the termite would starve. Meanwhile, the protozoa would quickly die outside of the termite, resulting in a relationship of dependence between the animals that scientists call "mutualism."

From the Symbiosis [wikipedia.org] article:

The definition of symbiosis is in flux, and the term has been applied to a wide range of biological interactions. The symbiotic relationship may be categorized as being mutualistic [wikipedia.org] , parasitic [wikipedia.org] , or commensal [wikipedia.org] in nature. Others define it more narrowly, as only those relationships from which both organisms benefit, in which case it would be synonymous with mutualism.

Hmm, live and learn.

termite related to teh cockroach..... (1)

3seas (184403) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079325)

now I can understand why they say the cockroach will be the last living creature.... as it seems to be the first too..

X-Files (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28079333)

This sounds like a good plot to an X-Files episode. Ancient microbes get unearthed. Mulder, Scully and a few randoms get infected. Mulder declares a quarantine, and in the end they only just escape with their lives.

Coming to theatres... (2, Funny)

adosch (1397357) | more than 5 years ago | (#28079595)

Jurassic Amoeba... coming to theaters everywhere Summer 2009. ...it's not the veloci-raptor this time, it's the fearsome mitosis!

Wha? (1)

Dunbal (464142) | more than 5 years ago | (#28080037)

The amber preserved the microbes with exquisite detail, including internal features like the nuclei.

I was raised to believe that "nuclei" were by definition a feature of eukaryotic cells, and not prokaryotes. I would like to know more about these obviously parasitic eukaryotic termite bowel infesting organisms...

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