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Artist Wins £20,000 Grant To Study Women's Butts

samzenpus posted more than 4 years ago | from the been-doing-a-lot-of-extra-credit-lately dept.

Science 202

Sue Williams has been awarded a £20,000 grant by the Arts Council of Wales, to "explore cultural attitudes towards female buttocks." Sue plans to examine racial attitudes towards bottoms in Europe and Africa and create plaster casts of women's behinds to try to understand their place in contemporary culture. And here I've been studying the issue all these years for free like a sucker!

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202 comments

Sir Begs-A-Lot (5, Funny)

plover (150551) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524181)

I like big grants and I can not lie
You other post-docs can't deny
That when a sponsor walks in with a stupid-ass proposal
A fat wallet at your disposal
You get sprung
Wanna pull up tough
Cuz you notice that purse was stuffed
Full of the cash you're needing
I'm hooked and I can't stop spending

Baby's got cash
Baby's got cash
Little in tha middle but she got big backers

Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28524221)

Marxism has now confirmed: Capitalism is dying.

Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered bourgeoisie when
Das Kapital confirmed that the rate of profit tends to fall
leading to crisis, war and the ultimate destruction of the capitalism
system. Coming on the heels of the latest economic data showing that
the US is entering a deep recession, this news serves to reinforce
what we've know all along. Capitalism is collapsing in complete disarray,
as further exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Sys Admin
comprehensive networking test.

You don't need to be a Lenin to predict capitalism's future. The hand
writing is on the wall: capitalism faces a bleak future. In fact there
won't be any future at for capitalism because capitalism is dying. Things
are looking very bad for capitalism. As many of us are already aware
surplus value (S) is redistributed among individual capitals by
competition leading to an average rate of profit (r) relative to the
organic composition of capital. In order to improve their position
individual capitalism must increase their production of surplus value;
either by increasing the length of working day, but this has
physiological limits or by increasing the constant capital used but
this leads to a fall in the average rate of profit.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

Capitalist leader Barack Hussein Obama states that there 7000 capitalists.
How about members of the proletariat are there? Let's see. The number
of proletariats in America is roughly 200 million. Therefore
there are about 100000 workers which for each person with an
interest in capitalism. A recent article put the petty bourgeoisie at
a rapidly declining proportion of the population. This is consistent
with the predictions of the communist manifesto.

Due to the troubles of British imperialism, two world wars and so on,
European capitalism went out of business and was taken over by Yankee
imperialism who were also in trouble. Now US imperialism is also dead,
its venality and corruption exposed by its own creation, radical
Islam.

All major surveys show that capitalism has steadily declined in credibility.
Capitalism is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very
dim. If capitalism is to survive at all it will be as a fascist
dictatorship. Capitalism continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could
save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, capitalism is
dead.

Capitalism is dying

Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot (0, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28524305)

Oh SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY.

Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot (2, Interesting)

Philip K Dickhead (906971) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524401)

Explore cultural attitudes?

There are some things I'd like to explore myself. But I expect it would be something along the lines of tactile variations and relative spherical dimensions, you know - more touchy-feely than pure academic.

What was the size of that grant? How many copies of King magazine can I buy with that?

Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot (1, Troll)

Goldberg's Pants (139800) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524505)

Oh you, Sir, are a genius!

As for the artist... You mean I could have been being PAID to stare at womens asses all this time? Dang...

Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28524619)

That post was so good, nearby posts should be modded up just due to proximity.

Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28524791)

Maybe the artist can study why mentioning butts gets a bunch of nerds to bring up coon-show stereotypes and make lame puns.

Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28524903)

Best.First.Post.Ever.

Re:Sir Begs-A-Lot (3, Funny)

therufus (677843) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525009)

The first grant offer was 20,000 pounds. The artist wasn't happy.

They had to UUH, double up, UUH UUH!

what?!? (1, Insightful)

overcaffein8d (1101951) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524183)

it's not even a male artist?

Re:what?!? (5, Funny)

MightyMartian (840721) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524211)

it's not even a male artist?

This just keeps getting better!

Arse me no questions... (0, Offtopic)

Philip K Dickhead (906971) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524365)

Well, there was this lovely Indian lady in Tesco, a couple days ago - her stretch pants still leave their impression all this time later...

'Course the MILFy-est arse is me wife's. Where'd you get yourself to, darling? How 'bout a trip up the stairs, eh?

Please tell me... (3, Funny)

cptnapalm (120276) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524219)

Please tell me that they have a PhD program in this. I will be the bestest student ever.

Re:Please tell me... (1)

jamesh (87723) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524281)

I think the P.H.D. study is another program altogether. But you are welcome to apply.

Re:Please tell me... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28524507)

You could always Pile some butts Higher and Deeper

There is one! (2, Funny)

rattaroaz (1491445) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524595)

Please tell me that they have a PhD program in this. I will be the bestest student ever.

It's in the Astronomy class. Look under the topic of Uranus.

Changing profession (5, Funny)

Starlon (1492461) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524227)

I got dibs on breasts.

Artist getting to the bottom of it (4, Funny)

shking (125052) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524237)

Hey! Somebody had to say it!

Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it (5, Funny)

dr_dank (472072) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524289)

I'm sure this researcher doesn't appreciate being the butt of your joke.

Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it (3, Funny)

shking (125052) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524319)

It won't end well.

Re:Artist getting to the bottom of it (1)

interkin3tic (1469267) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524973)

I'm sure this researcher doesn't appreciate being the butt of your joke

He'd better get used to it. This is an assinine study.

1992 is calling... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28524341)

...it's Sir Mix A Lot, he's done a study too apparently.

Kari Byron's debut (3, Insightful)

spaceyhackerlady (462530) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524377)

Remember Kari Byron's debut on Mythbusters?

Re:Kari Byron's debut (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524707)

Remember Kari Byron's debut on Mythbusters?

Shouldn't that be "debutt"? Perhaps you pressed the wrong button?
   

Re:Kari Byron's debut (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28525775)

Yeeeeah..... one of the greatest episodes of Mythbusters.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ykhSLNlx3n0

0m 19sec....

I've got a theory (4, Funny)

whereiswaldo (459052) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524387)

My theory is there is a relationship between butts and breasts:

Women with the nicest butts have smaller breasts.

Women with larger breasts have pudgier butts.

Women with larger breasts *and* the nicest butts have fake breasts.

My guess on the outcome of the study is that all straight men like looking at women's butts.

That'll be 20k please. :)

Re:I've got a theory (3, Interesting)

Tom (822) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524427)

That's the difference between a study and an uneducated guess.

Sure, sometimes the study simply confirms what everyone knows. Still, it's confirmation. And everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven. The important questions were how many angels can dance on the top of a pin or whether or not heathens qualify as human beings.

I, for one, am glad that we've moved beyond that and actually investigate the things that "everyone knows". Be they as important as gravity, or as mundane as womens' buttocks.

Re:I've got a theory (5, Funny)

AuMatar (183847) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524543)

everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven

One out of 3 ain't bad?

Re:I've got a theory (1)

whereiswaldo (459052) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524587)

Wrong - it's an *educated* guess. And don't get me wrong, I have nothing against trying to confirm something that everyone already "knows".

Re:I've got a theory (2, Funny)

dredwerker (757816) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525183)

That's the difference between a study and an uneducated guess.

Sure, sometimes the study simply confirms what everyone knows. Still, it's confirmation. And everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven. The important questions were how many angels can dance on the top of a pin or whether or not heathens qualify as human beings.

I, for one, am glad that we've moved beyond that and actually investigate the things that "everyone knows". Be they as important as gravity, or as mundane as womens' buttocks.

mundane........ sheeesh only on slashdot

Re:I've got a theory (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28525399)

And everyone "knew" once that the earth is flat, women have no souls, and above the clouds you'll find heaven. The important questions were how many angels can dance on the top of a pin or whether or not heathens qualify as human beings.

Interesting fact: none of those things were ever widely believed.

People have know the Earth was spherical since ancient times. Remember when Columbus set sail? He knew, setting out, that he could reach India if he sailed west. He just didn't realise there was another continent in the way.

Nobody (in the Christian west, at least) ever believed women have no souls. We're talking about a time when people practically worshipped the Virgin Mary. She was a woman, remember?

Nobody but children ever believed that heaven was just above the clouds. You could see it wasn't by opening your eyes and pointing them upwards on a clear night. Ancient cosmology placed the spherical Earth at the centre of a series of other spheres, on which were fixed the moon, the sun, the planets, and finally the stars. Heaven was the perfect final sphere beyond the stars -- a long, long way away.

Nobody ever debated angels dancing on the heads of pins. That was a lie invented to ridicule the genuine theological debates that took place. No doubt future generations will claim that we spent all our time arguing over how many NetBSD VMs could dance on the head of a toaster.

Few people ever believed heathens weren't human. Why would God condemn animals to an eternity screaming in the fires of hell?

I, for one, am glad that we've moved beyond that

Given the number of myths you seem to have accepted unquestioningly, I have my doubts as to whether you have moved beyond that at all.

Re:I've got a theory (1)

maxwell demon (590494) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525587)

No doubt future generations will claim that we spent all our time arguing over how many NetBSD VMs could dance on the head of a toaster.

No, because the future generations will know that everyone today knows that BSD is dying (Netcraft comfirmed it). However, they will point out that we did waste our time imagining a Beowulf cluster of NetBSD VMs, and discussing the question if it would run Linux. And we were even making business plans about it, but we never figured out the last step before profit. Which might be because everyone thought that in Soviet Russia business plans make YOU.

Re:I've got a theory (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28525679)

That's the difference between a study and an uneducated guess.

£20,000? See, with a study you get paid £20K to stare at butts and those in the "uneducated guess" column pay a cover charge to study them after work.

Re:I've got a theory (1)

Philip K Dickhead (906971) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524437)

Change yer nick to "Ann Elk".

"Ahem. My theory, which is mine..."

Contemplating your theory HAS made the Brontosaurus loner at the end, 'tho.

Re:I've got a theory (1, Troll)

Jeff DeMaagd (2015) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524495)

My theory

Wrong. You have no theory, not going by the scientific definition. Your statements are a hypothesis, or hypotheses. That means it's not really been tested enough, it basically has as much scientific weight as a personal opinion. A theory means that it's been tested, it's a higher standard.

Re:I've got a theory (0)

whereiswaldo (459052) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524599)

Wrong. Not going by the scientific definition, I am right. I never said it was scientific, did I?

So much for posting a light-hearted follow-up to a light-hearted topic!

Re:I've got a theory (1)

benjamindees (441808) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524705)

That means it's not really been tested enough

Despite years of personal observation along these lines, I find it difficult to disagree with this assessment. Where can I sign up for a grant?

Re:I've got a theory (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28525327)

Wrong. You have no theory, not going by the scientific definition.

Admit it. boy -- you got roof-jobbed.

It's a wasted life that hasn't had sufficient exposure to Monty Python.

Re:I've got a theory (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28525401)

Dude calm down. Did you actually understand what he said? Is there a reason to bring a lecture about your favorite pedantic definition into this conversation? I didn't think so. Stay on topic.

Re:I've got a theory (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28525573)

Reread the story: this isn't a scientific study; rather, it's a "study" being conducted by an artist being funded by an arts council, meaning that it has nothing to do with science and everything to do with subjective interpretation -- a point that most of Slashdot seems to have missed, lured off by the word "study."

Plaster? (3, Interesting)

Jeff DeMaagd (2015) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524413)

I would think given how there are laser 3D scanners, they'd just do scans. I just don't see how plaster can do the job nearly as well given how gravity affects both plaster molding and human parts. The mass of the plaster can also affect how it molds a shape.

I believe the thought process has eluded you (3, Funny)

SuperKendall (25149) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524569)

I would think given how there are laser 3D scanners, they'd just do scans

You don't get to spread lasers on thousands of female rear ends by hand.

Re:I believe the thought process has eluded you (1)

Starlon (1492461) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524637)

All the more reason to pursue a grant for breasts research.

Re:Plaster? (1)

Robin47 (1379745) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524673)

Have you ever tried making a cast of a woman's buttocks before? A hands on technique is probably what's required here.

WANTED: Volunteers to ASSist in research (1)

w0mprat (1317953) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524415)

They could save them selves twenty grand by hiring me, I'd do it for free. Infact, amongst the things I investigate regularily, I have thoroughly studied the subject matter over the years and could go right ahead write you a paper now.

Glad it's Wales.... (0, Troll)

unitron (5733) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524421)

...and not U.S.

Anybody who tells Limbaugh about this has to get the buckets and shovels when he explodes.

Please, please... (2, Informative)

newcastlejon (1483695) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524455)

At least call them arses. You say butt over here and you'll just get laughed at (fanny will get you an altogether different response)

Re:Please, please... (5, Funny)

interkin3tic (1469267) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525043)

You say butt over here and you'll just get laughed at

This is my biggest fear, meaning to say something serious about a butt in the UK and getting laughed at.

Butt, sidewalk, elevator... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28525555)

Can we please stop pretending that we are unaware of these terms in the UK. It isn't as though we don't hear them many times a day on television.

I know it's cute to pretend, but what a waste of time.

Guide to British English (4, Informative)

Kupfernigk (1190345) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525329)

  • Butt - a garden water container
  • Bottom - the polite word for the buttocks
  • Front bottom - the excruciatingly twee expression for the female pubic region. Lower middle class and evangelical Christians only.
  • Bum - depending on context, the buttocks, anal region or pubic region.
  • Arse - ambiguous: can mean either the buttocks, the anal region or the rectum. Best avoided by foreigners
  • Fanny - ambiguous, can mean either the buttocks or the female sexual apparatus depending on context. Always has a sexual connotation, though.
  • C**t - ambiguous, can mean either the female sexual apparatus or someone you disapprove of. Not safe for foreigners.
  • Quant, quaint or queynt - old English word meaning female pubic region. Also used in hedge funds as a swear word.

The British, by the way, imagine Japanese to be a language full of double meanings and potential minefields.

Re:Guide to British English (2, Informative)

jabithew (1340853) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525439)

A couple of modifications;

I've never heard fanny mean arse over here (SE England/London).
I have heard bum to mean a person who is a waste of space as well.
Also have heard arse to mean someone disapproved of.

Re:Guide to British English (1)

16Chapel (998683) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525791)

Never head 'fanny' to mean the bum here in the UK.

And despite it's negative connotations, you can quite freely call your best mate a c**t over here - it's almost a term of friendship in some parts of south London...

There's no honor (4, Funny)

SpaghettiPattern (609814) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524509)

There is no honor in accepting gifts to study women's derriere. A cavalier does this pro deo and pro patria. Indeed I do so vigorously and relentlessly.

I am among a very secret an tightly knit circle of experts. Currently 3 x 10^9 members pertain to this club. We recognize each other by a prurient grin on our faces.

If anything, differences in skin, religion and culture intensify our bond as we admire in reverend awe every single instance. (However, when our duties are accomplished we might take up where we left and proceed with cracking each other's sculls.)

Now I shall drink tea whilst adopting the erected wee finger position.

To women's backsides we all cheer hooray!

Re:There's no honor (1)

Nutria (679911) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524925)

admire in reverend awe every single instance.

Here's where I've got to disagree with you, since there are quite a lot of fat women who have really ugly (and probably stinky) butts.

Re:There's no honor (2, Interesting)

SpaghettiPattern (609814) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525731)

admire in reverend awe every single instance.

Here's where I've got to disagree with you, since there are quite a lot of fat women who have really ugly (and probably stinky) butts.

The indoctrination machine proclaiming that sufferer of anorexia are sexy and desirable works miracles. IMHO dimension is not a pejorative factor of the women's behind. Shape of the derriere, the transition to and coherence with other body parts can make my charisma grow like a mountain flower in spring.

Free yourself from the tyranny of the motion picture industry! The truth induced on you by them simply isn't. Appreciate the female behind by considering all shapes and forms. And contemplate many, many shapes before judging. <INSERT GOSPEL QUOTE HERE>

Re:There's no honor (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28525379)

There is no honor in accepting gifts to study women's derriere. A cavalier does this pro deo and pro patria.

Don't give me that shit -- you're just doing it pro bono.

That is about 1600 lap dances (2, Funny)

mcwop (31034) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524525)

Fewer if you factor in cover charge, and drinks. Just stay out of the VIP room.

Exchange Rate (2, Informative)

nixish (1390127) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524533)

As of June 29, 1GBP = 1.67USD which makes it 33,400 USD. For those who missed that pound sign and keep referring to the amount as 20K dollars.

Gives new meaning to study abroad (4, Funny)

rattaroaz (1491445) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524547)

I always wanted to study abroad, but now he gets paid for it? Neat!

Re:Gives new meaning to study abroad (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28524713)

You sexist prick; women aren't broads! :)

Psychophysiology of Gluteal Recognition? (5, Funny)

bughunter (10093) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524565)

When I was a pimply, hormone-addled teen going thru puberty, I could identify every female in my high school, from behind, at a distance of up to a quarter mile.

Despite the prevalence of ultra-tight acid-washed jeans in the early 80's, my skill didn't rely solely on shape, oh no. A detailed analysis of cyclic ambulatory gluteal displacement was key to identification.

I thought I was the only one who had this talent, until much later when I learned it is actually common. (Same goes for the "mental VCR," aka spankbank, but that's another story.)

Is this going to be a part of the study?

Re:Psychophysiology of Gluteal Recognition? (1)

Lord Kano (13027) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524969)

For me, it helped to see some leg too. I can't say that I knew every female's backside, just the ones that looked good. I could see the same flat, soggy or disgusting buttocks 50 times in a row and I just wouldn't commit the owner to memory. I knew every smooth apple bottom from a good distance as well.

LK

Find it? (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524759)

I can tell that pic probably came from a youtube capture. Extra mod points for whoever finds the movie! We can't give you a grant, but maybe someone can give you modpoints. And even if you don't find it, it's fun trying (unless maybe you accidentally drag up a tranny).
     

What's next? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28524765)

Beaver inspector? Deebs on that!

That's no moon. (2)

fenring (1582541) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524849)

Of course, I'm no scientist, butt I'm sure I could get to the bottom of this. I would start by investigating from bottom up and then write an article in Arse Technica.

No Asians? (1)

ashitaka (27544) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524861)

I find the exclusion of Asian buttocks interesting, but understandable given the absence of booty on the typical Asian female.

Here [flickr.com] is a representative example.

FEMALE study of male behinds (I volunteer my ASS) (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#28524865)

for that study

captcha word for this submission, prophesy

I could have done this in 10 seconds. (4, Funny)

Lord Kano (13027) | more than 4 years ago | (#28524947)

Black guys like the biggest asses. White guys like smaller asses. Asian guys like the smallest asses.

Can I have 20K now?

LK

Re:I could have done this in 10 seconds. (1)

Spy Handler (822350) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525227)

actually large, muscular buttocks do correlate with the ability to jump higher [ref: "White Men Can't Jump"]

Re:I could have done this in 10 seconds. (1)

qc_dk (734452) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525701)

Then why are the best high jumpers white (male or female)?

I would think that jumping high uses the front of the thigh more, while running uses the buttocks and
the back of the thigh more.

He'll be the 'butt' of many jokes ... (2, Funny)

burisch_research (1095299) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525285)

Wish that i could 'bum' around all day -- but i guess i'd end up looking like an 'ass', because i'd be the 'butt' of so many jokes. It's a bum job, but someone has to do it. Guess he's doing it for 'posterior'ity.

Attack on a Broad Front (1)

CaptainOfSpray (1229754) | more than 4 years ago | (#28525697)

My bro is a poet (professional, no less), who has previously shown some talent in the matter of separating the Arts Council from cash (he got them to pay him to go to Italy, repeat Ovid's trip down the Via Appia from Rome to Brindisi, and write poetry about it). He also very much enjoys viewing a shapely butt. So of course I've told him to get on with writing a grant application - Britain needs poetry in praise of bottoms, in these austere times.
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