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Universal Lands Rights To Asteroids Movie

Soulskill posted more than 5 years ago | from the starring-the-rock-perhaps dept.

Classic Games (Games) 194

It seems Universal Studios has won the highly sought-after movie rights to the 1979 Atari game Asteroids. Disney's Matthew Lopez will be writing the adaptation, having previously worked on the scripts for Bedtime Stories, The Sorcerer's Apprentice and Race to Witch Mountain. The NY Times is skeptical about Hollywood's ability to do right by the 30-year-old game, already imagining what a director like Michael Bay would do with it: "In this $300 million, three-and-a-half hour spectacle, loud and expensive computer simulations of large boulders crashing into one another are briefly interrupted by the hilarious antics of Chip and Gravel, two living rocks with gold teeth who speak in hip-hop slang, and the nonstop shouting of John Turturro."

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Black & White goodness (5, Funny)

Theoboley (1226542) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560189)

A movie about a triangle flying around blowing up jagged looking circles?

Sounds like a winner to me!!! :D /sarcasm

Re:Black & White goodness (1)

sys.stdout.write (1551563) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560715)

blowing up jagged looking circles

Geometry fail.

blowing up polygons

Fixed that for you.

Re:Black & White goodness (1)

MaskedSlacker (911878) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561043)

blowing up aliased circles

Fixed that for you.

Re:Black & White goodness (4, Funny)

Razalhague (1497249) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561137)

I have no idea what I'm talking about.

Fixed that for you.

Re:Black & White goodness (1)

ROMRIX (912502) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561729)

Just trolling for feedback.

Fixed that for you.

Re:Black & White goodness (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28562175)

I don't know what game you played, but it wasn't Asteroids.

Re:Black & White goodness (1)

Theoboley (1226542) | more than 5 years ago | (#28562127)

I never was good in Geometry.

Re:Black & White goodness (4, Funny)

Ian Alexander (997430) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561173)

So it'll be about a war in Flatland?

Bay Splosions! (4, Funny)

eldavojohn (898314) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560217)

Michael Bay would do with it: "In this $300 million, three-and-a-half hour spectacle, loud and expensive computer simulations of large boulders crashing into one another ...

Asteroids crashing into each other ... possibly causing BAYSPLOSIONS [youtube.com] !?

P.S. I feel a little guilty re-using the same thing [slashdot.org] from last week but you know what they say--fight fire with fire!

Re:Bay Splosions! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28561315)

... but you know what they say--fight fire with fire!

That's what Father always told me.. Mind you, it cost him his job in the Fire Brigade..

(credit - Harry Hill)

Re:Bay Splosions! (3, Funny)

evanbd (210358) | more than 5 years ago | (#28562141)

Everybody seems to be hating on the new Transformers movie, but really, the critics have it wrong. In actuality, Michael Bay finally made an art movie [io9.com] .

I was seriously just thinking about that. (4, Insightful)

jayme0227 (1558821) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560223)

Man, I was seriously just thinking about how great/stupid it would be to make a game out of asteroids last night. Seriously, the game had no story line, so you could be as creative as you wanted, but the movie would likely have NOTHING to do with the game other than the title and a few really crappy circumstances to call for a ship blowing up asteroids.

Re:I was seriously just thinking about that. (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28560307)

So in other words, they already made this movie and it was called Armageddon.

Re:I was seriously just thinking about that. (2, Informative)

Rycross (836649) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560379)

I was thinking of a particular scene from Stellvia, personally. /weaboo

Re:I was seriously just thinking about that. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28561439)

Every movie adaptation of a computer game should at least have some scenes which capture the typical game play. I love the first person sequence in the Doom movie. It's what lifted an otherwise crappy movie above other bland adaptations.

creativity? (2, Interesting)

mevets (322601) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561259)

When was the last time a creative movie came from Hollywood? A regurgitation of a tired cliches with spectacular effects and spin-off trinkits is more likely. The hero, a (wo)?man who overcame unjust adversity, saves the day by combining natural talent with dogged individuality while wearing ray-bans and drinking red bull.

sigh.

Re:creativity? (1)

C0vardeAn0nim0 (232451) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561471)

answering your question, any time quentin tarantino makes a movie.

Re:creativity? (1)

jeffasselin (566598) | more than 5 years ago | (#28562229)

By "coming from Hollywood" I guess you mean something that's an original script, and not an adaptation.

So after reading your post I started to think about every movie I've enjoyed lately and either they were Hollywood-produced adaptions of other works (Iron Man, TDK, LotR) or not Hollywood-produced at all (Let the right one in).

Bah.

Re:I was seriously just thinking about that. (4, Funny)

oldspewey (1303305) | more than 5 years ago | (#28562091)

Well, among other things if you want to stay true to the original game, every time a character disappears off one edge of the screen, they must immediately reappear at the opposite edge of the screen.

Whew, at least it wasn't Uwe Boll (1)

joeflies (529536) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560251)

sarcasm on - because we all know how badly we want to make sure that the movie stays true to the plot of the source material. We need it to be authentic, with genuine pew pew pew pew noises, white noise explosions, and the fearsome vector line asteroids. Uwe Boll would have screwed that ALL up.

Do they really need a license to make an asteroid movie? Wouldn't it pretty much look exactly like the asteroid scene from Attack of the Clones?

Re:Whew, at least it wasn't Uwe Boll (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28560699)

Right now, since you did not end your post with "/sarcasm on" or with a "sarcasm off" comment, every post you say will be entirely sarcastic until you close it.

How can this be anything but lame? (4, Interesting)

netruner (588721) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560309)

I mean, really, really lame? Even an action scene where they're having to blast oncoming rocks for any time longer than 10 seconds will be overkill. It's not that I have no appreciation for the game, I played it in the 80's (the home version I rolled over the score twice in the same game while I had chicken pox).

There are many better games to make movies from. (Deus Ex, Thief, Zelda, Golden Axe, heck - even Pitfall or Pac Man would be better).

Re:How can this be anything but lame? (2, Interesting)

Domint (1111399) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560409)

I would die a happy man if I got to see a good rendition of Deus Ex on the silver screen before I went.

Re:How can this be anything but lame? (1)

sys.stdout.write (1551563) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560785)

No, I wanted orange! The soda machine gave me lemon-lime!!!

Re:How can this be anything but lame? (1)

ByOhTek (1181381) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560427)

You just want to see the male protagonist walk into the womens restroom and then get quietly chided by his boss.

Re:How can this be anything but lame? (4, Informative)

eldavojohn (898314) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560565)

heck - even Pitfall or Pac Man would be better

Uh oh, now you've done it. Here's the preview for Pac Man [collegehumor.com] . Although, personally I liked minesweeper [youtube.com] more.

Re:How can this be anything but lame? (2, Insightful)

bhunachchicken (834243) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560609)

"There are many better games to make movies from. (Deus Ex, Thief, Zelda, Golden Axe, heck - even Pitfall or Pac Man would be better)."

Dude, you're forgetting one thing - this is Hollywood making a movie out of a game. It matters little how good the original game was, the result will always be bad.

I've not seen a lot of them, but in the world of game-to-movie conversions I think that Mortal Kombat was the only half decent effort; and even that still made for eye watering viewing throughout most of it.

Re:How can this be anything but lame? (1)

nine-times (778537) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560705)

Well, but you have to admit the original story was kick-ass. As long as they stay true to that, it will be AWESOME!!

Re:How can this be anything but lame? (3, Insightful)

tverbeek (457094) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560765)

Once upon a time, a game could be just A Game. It didn't need a story or characters, just an entertaining activity. Like checkers or poker or tag. That was Asteroids, another classic.

What baffles me is that anybody paid money for the rights.... to what, exactly? There's no plot, no characters. Just a premise (aka "idea", which cannot be copyrighted), and a trademark: "Asteroids". All they're getting for their money is pile of middle-aged goodwill/nostalgia attached to the name.

The good news is that this movie has the potential to be far better than the new Mighty Transformin' Power Rangers film TFA is making fun of, because there's so much room to add a story. The bad news is that they probably won't, or the one they add will suck.

Re:How can this be anything but lame? (1)

Jafafa Hots (580169) | more than 5 years ago | (#28562053)

And since titles can't be copyrighted, they actually could USE the title "Asteroids" without paying anyone anything.

If they were indeed a "highly sought after" movie rights, that only underscores how incredibly stupid hollywood is.

Re:How can this be anything but lame? (1)

iron-kurton (891451) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560873)

Two words: Bruce Campbell

Re:How can this be anything but lame? (1)

GenP (686381) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560983)

This is my four-shot pellet gun?

Re:How can this be anything but lame? (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560959)

Wait a minute, this ISN'T a joke? For a second there I thought it was either April 1st or that this would somehow end up linking to an Onion story.

Backyard Movie Director.... (4, Funny)

SomeoneGotMyNick (200685) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560345)

I could make a box office killing filming myself getting rid of centipedes in my backyard, using a BB gun.

Now to go and secure the rights.....

Re:Backyard Movie Director.... (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561059)

Just s long as you don't release it on the same weekend as my directorial debut "Dig Dug: The Movie."

Re:Backyard Movie Director.... (3, Funny)

tnk1 (899206) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561303)

Dig Dug: The Movie

In a world of passion, intrigue, cold steel and compressed air, there can be only one question:

DO YOU DIG IT?

Re:Backyard Movie Director.... (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561557)

This July, we're going to BLOW YOU UP!

Re:Backyard Movie Director.... (1)

SomeoneGotMyNick (200685) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561497)

Just s long as you don't release it on the same weekend as my directorial debut "Dig Dug: The Movie."

So..... Was that the trailer for your movie that I once saw on Robot Chicken?

David Spade mode on (3, Funny)

RedK (112790) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560347)

That was a good movie idea when it was called Deep Impact.

Re:David Spade mode on (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28561147)

Which was a total ripoff of Astrosmash... that's right, I went there! Intellivison forever!

Re:David Spade mode on (1)

7Prime (871679) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561449)

Deep Impact

The same name as a proctology training film about treating patients with constipation.

What's next? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28560401)

Coming soon to a theater near you...PONG!

Logical extreme (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28560725)

Windows Solitaire.

Wait, astroids? (4, Interesting)

grasshoppa (657393) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560423)

Are we talking about the game where you had a little ship and you blew up computerized rocks? This would be the game with absolutely no back story, no plot, no "end game"....

On second thought, this sounds exactly like a Hollywood classic.

Re:Wait, astroids? (1)

unclepedro (312196) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560967)

Yeah, I mean, Asteroids has no NARRATIVE. Asteroids makes DOOM look like John Steinbeck's "East of Eden!" If we're talking 30 year old video games begging to be made into movies, Space Invaders would make more sense. Now THERE'S drama. Armies of aliens advancing, wave after wave, your fortifications getting blown to bits, your weapon's ability to only have one projectile in the air at a time, it'd make a great sci-fi horror movie.

Actually, a Space Invaders flim would kind of be like Night of the Living Dead, except, instead of a farmhouse, it would be that little area at the bottom of the screen where your gun moves back and forth. This could be a double feature along with Missile Command: The Motion Picture.

Re:Wait, astroids? (1)

HTH NE1 (675604) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561761)

Well, Asteroids did inspire a song:

Asteroids all over me, don't know where to run,
I'm somewhere between the moon and the sun
I'm in command of three ships and there's more on the way
I'm a space cadet, I can really play!

Hyperspace,
Push on the button and I'm back in the race,
Hyperspace,
Shootin' my rockets all over the place,

I'm invisible now, but I'll be back again,
Gonna kick in the thrust, 'cause I just gotta win, I just gotta win,

There's a ship on the rise and he's shootin' at me,
I rotate my ship on the count of three
I fire and shoot and blow him out of the sky
Push on the button and wave bye-bye

Hyperspace,
Push on the button and I'm back in the race,
Hyperspace,
Shootin' my rockets all over the place,

I'm invisible now, but I'll be back again,
Gonna kick in the thrust, 'cause I just gotta win, I just gotta win...

Other than that, they'll need to license the theme from Jaws.

This. Simply. Cannot. Be. Serious. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28560439)

This. Simply. Cannot. Be. Serious.

turing word: cometary
(damn it may actually be serious.)

For max score shoot the Saucers (1)

RichMan (8097) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560461)

You reduce the rocks to a minimal interference then shoot as many UFO's as you can.

http://strategywiki.org/wiki/Asteroids/Walkthrough [strategywiki.org]

So this is going to be a space battle movie.

Actualy, I think they are going to blow it. Make space really small and have a dense set of rocks and lots of collisions.

Real money (4, Funny)

slapout (93640) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560525)

I bet the real money's gonna come from the iPhone app based on the movie.

Re:Real money (1)

Culture20 (968837) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561763)

I bet the real money's gonna come from the iPhone app based on the movie.

I can see it now. To turn your ship, you have to use the 3GS's new compass mechanism, so you'll see iphone users spinning in circles, looking at their phone and saying "pew, pew!"

Coming soon: Tetris, the movie! (3, Interesting)

Alzheimers (467217) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560529)

Hey, if it's half as good as Tetris: The Movie [youtube.com] I'll probably go see it.

Re:Coming soon: Tetris, the movie! (1)

vertinox (846076) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561787)

Tetris can't possible compare to the intense drama that was Solataire the Movie [youtube.com]

Re:Coming soon: Tetris, the movie! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28561991)

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/01/24/

turn into a rock (1)

sadwings (1195959) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560541)

I'll go watch Apatow get stoned before I'd see Transformers 2, so at least one of those movies sounds like a money maker to me.

I don't know what is more ludicrous (1, Redundant)

geekoid (135745) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560547)

Somebody buying the right, or someone concern about doing "right by the 30-year-old game,".

Seriously, doing right? it's a fucking shoot the rocks line drawn game. Don't get me wrong, I dropped plenty of money in the machine and had a good time playing it, but please.

I wuold love to see Bay do this movie. Maybe a story about a team that's supposed to clear the way for the minug crew. ON the way some bad ass aliens decide to blow them up, and they ahve to outsmart them.

It could just eb an alien shoot em up; which can be a fun movie.

Or a bunch of earth killer asteroids are coming toward us, so several crew ahve to go up and 'clear a path'.
That would sell. I wouldn't see it, but many people would.

Re:I don't know what is more ludicrous (1)

MightyMartian (840721) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561293)

Michael Bay, the Andrew Lloyd Webber of Hollywood.

Re:I don't know what is more ludicrous (1)

Migraineman (632203) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561473)

it's a fucking shoot the rocks line drawn game

That'd be "vector graphics," you damned whippersnapper.

Re:I don't know what is more ludicrous (1)

duranaki (776224) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561701)

I'd mod, but no points. This was almost my exact thought. I don't know what the "rights" even means. I'm pretty sure I can make a movie called "Asteroids" about, you know, asteroids, without having to license it (if this [imdb.com] is any indication). I'm not sure what else you get with the license... cheesy sound effects? The use of italics?

No, wait, this could work (5, Funny)

Hawthorne01 (575586) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560567)

They'd have to change their revenue model, though. Instead of walking up to the movie theater and paving $10 (or more) for a ticket to watch ALL of the movie, you pay $.25 and then get to watch the first 3 minutes of the movie. Want more movie? Pay another quarter. And another. And another. And another.

There, that'd REALLY replicate the experience of Asteroids on the big-screen.

Missed Opportunity (1)

parvin (846446) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560571)

Twenty or twenty-five years ago, I would've been excited for a vector-based CGI feature film. (The smoothness of vector graphics motion was unparalleled. I loved my Vectrex!)

Old news! (0, Redundant)

InfinityWpi (175421) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560599)

Geeze, guys, this is amazingly old news. Big, expensive movie about rocks that'll crash into each other unless they get blown up? I loved it when it came out the first time... when it was called Armageddon. And Deep Impact.

Re:Old news! (1)

Jarlsberg (643324) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561525)

You loved Armageddon? Sheeeeesh

This Enders Game (etc)?? (2, Insightful)

RabidMonkey (30447) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560647)

If this gets made into a movie before something like Enders Game, I'm giving up completely on HollyWood.

I'm tired of seeing horrible movie after horrible movie come out, when there are fantastic stories waiting to be made into great movies (or, be done horribly, I'll concede).

Video game movies just don't work.

Re:This Enders Game (etc)?? (0, Flamebait)

Hubbell (850646) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561085)

There's no real way to make ender's game into a movie sadly simply due to the fact that real children are too fucking stupid (even the best child actors too) to be able to pull off the range of adult emotions and adult style scenes in the Ender's Game series of books.

Re:This Enders Game (etc)?? (1)

MightyMartian (840721) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561373)

There's no real way to make ender's game into a movie sadly simply due to the fact that real children are too fucking stupid (even the best child actors too) to be able to pull off the range of adult emotions and adult style scenes in the Ender's Game series of books.

I see no reason to assume that your childhood is representative of everyone's.

ET? (5, Funny)

funky49 (182835) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560657)

Just as long as they don't make a movie out of that ET the Extra-Terrestrial Atari game. That one sucked!

Why rip John Turtorro? (1)

gubers33 (1302099) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560669)

I mean Turtorro was probably one of the better parts of Transformers 2. He was hysterical in my opinion. "I'm directly below the enemies testicles"

Pong the Movie! (3, Funny)

Sponge Bath (413667) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560671)

Bruce Willis: More english! More english! Yeeeeaaaahh....
[Bruce leaps to safety as paddle explodes in fireball]

Re:Pong the Movie! (1)

shrubya (570356) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561671)

Pong, eh? I know some excellent storyboards [penny-arcade.com] for that screenplay.

And we certainly can't discuss classic arcade game adaptations without mentioning the critically acclaimed Frogger trilogy [theonion.com] .

Re:Pong the Movie! (4, Funny)

Sponge Bath (413667) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561803)

The Preview:

"In a world gone mad..."
Bruce: There are two sides to this!
Samuel L. Jackson: Dammit, I know how to play the game!

"People cry out for justice..."
Vin Diesel: When it comes at you, you better be ready.
Uma Thurman: I'll send it right back at them!

"and there is only one way to turn..."
Patrick Stewart: Is there any point to this back and forth?
Joe Pesci: The point is to win, and I hate to lose.

[action music, explosions, car chases, screen fades to black]

Pong! (comming this summer to a theater near you)
[boop... boop... be-boop...]

Really scraping the bottom of the barrel here (1)

Animats (122034) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560675)

Hollywood is really stuck for ideas. They've used up all the classic fables. They've used up the better cartoon characters. They've gone though the action figures. ("Transformers 2?" Coming up next, "GI Joe") The better video games have been done.

Every once in a while there's a successful original ("Up" being the latest example) but that's rare.

Re:Really scraping the bottom of the barrel here (1)

Gresyth (1103851) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560799)

This movie is the result of writers block and too much alcohol.

You got Asteroids? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28560795)

No, but my dad does.

He can't even sit on the toilet some days.

(The movie reference really does not need to be specified here.)

Top 10 Game To Movies Film (Rotten Tomatoes) (4, Informative)

bhunachchicken (834243) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560819)

  1. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (44%)
  2. DOA: Dead or Alive (35%)
  3. Resident Evil (34%)
  4. Silent Hill (30%)
  5. Mortal Kombat (24%)
  6. Lara Craft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (23%)
  7. Resident Evil: Extinction (22%)
  8. Resident Evil: Apocalypse (21%)
  9. Doom (21%)
  10. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (19%)

You know, with odds like this the popcorn fun will come from watching how badly it bombs at box office.

Re:Top 10 Game To Movies Film (Rotten Tomatoes) (1)

dontPanik (1296779) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561693)

I was a little disappointed by Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within's score of 44, understandable tho.

But Mortal Kombat with a 24%?! Come on people! It's no Citizen Kane but it's mutha fuckin Mortal Kombat! It doesn't belong on the same scale as normal movies!

LORD would make a better movie (3, Funny)

nitehawk214 (222219) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560885)

Legend of the Red Dragon, of course. It could be the only movie where the badass hero gets a vd from the babe.

Actually, maybe that wouldn't make a good movie either.

If you've been in denial all this time: (1)

kheldan (1460303) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560915)

Mainstream Hollywood ran out of original ideas for movies quite some time ago. When? When they started turning to old, bad TV sitcoms and video games for movie ideas. This one? Got to be bottom of the barrel. I loved playing Asteroids and all, but this is NOT movie plot material! What's worse? It'll probably have the living SHIT marketed out of it, and they'll push for an Imax 3D release of it. I'm going to go puke now..

Instead of Asteroids (1)

camperdave (969942) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560919)

Instead of Asteroids, they should do Star Raiders, or maybe think outside of the "lets turn a video game into a movie" box that they're in, and make a movie of an actual story. The Ruum, or Gottlos could make a decent movie. Perhaps some of Saberhagen's Berserker stuff, or LeGuin's Dragonriders of Pern, or Heinlein's The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

I guess the problem is that today's movie executives grew up watching TV, playing video games, and reading comic books, instead of visiting a library.

wait, what? (1)

strength_of_10_men (967050) | more than 5 years ago | (#28560971)

Why would they need to buy the rights? Why wouldn't they be able to just make a movie about a ship shooting up asteroids?

Hell, it's been done in Star Wars already, and the Star Destroyers already vaguely look like the "Asteroids" ship.

Can't wait for the Game-Movie Tie in... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28561053)

It will be great. You'll probably be in a ship in space shooting rogue asteroids.

I don't know... (1)

sunking2 (521698) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561093)

They did a pretty damned good job with Wing Commander :)

Let's make this into a game (1)

Weaselmancer (533834) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561145)

Ok. Try to come up with a video game - any video game - that would have a dumber movie premise. Go ahead. There are plenty of posts about this with people saying "no way this has to be a joke". So let's try to top Hollywood here. Let's try to come up with something even dumber. Classic arcade or modern game, doesn't matter.

We've already seen Pong in this thread. That's a good one. Post more like that. Something dumber than Asteroids: The Movie.

If you can.

I'll start the bidding with Marble Madness.

Re:Let's make this into a game (1)

Gresyth (1103851) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561253)

TIC-TAC-TOE: The Movie.

Re:Let's make this into a game (2, Funny)

MightyMartian (840721) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561339)

Frogger. There's just no way to make that movie that doesn't involve a frog.

Re:Let's make this into a game (1)

dontPanik (1296779) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561735)

Frogger. There's just no way to make that movie that doesn't involve a frog.

Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan in frog suits?

Re:Let's make this into a game (1)

bledri (1283728) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561705)

Breakout [wikipedia.org] which is basically pong for people without friends.

Re:Let's make this into a game (1)

maxume (22995) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561785)

Tetris. Really, pretty much any puzzle game.

Re:Let's make this into a game (1)

LWATCDR (28044) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561939)

Lunar Lander.
Tempest
I would say Gyrus but it would have a great sound track if the producers of RollerBall didn't sue you. Yes I am kidding...

Re:Let's make this into a game (1)

ceoyoyo (59147) | more than 5 years ago | (#28562087)

Minesweeper.

Solitaire.

Oooh, solitaire. THAT's a good one.

Stanley Kubrick (5, Funny)

GPLDAN (732269) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561447)

Imagine what Kubrick, rest his soul, could do with these rights. There would be wide shots of asteroid fields, set to Strauss - with a 4 and a half hour run time, all of it filmed in natural light, where the asteroids hitting each other come to represent the extensional angst of human interaction with each other, where the main characters fracture and come apart slightly, just like the rocks.

The end could be a 20 minute pyrotechnic hallucination, where we - the viewer - no longer understand if the little ship or the rocks themselves are the protgaganist - Haley Joel Osment could stand in as a lost teenager, piloting the ship - never knowing why he is shooting the rocks, or even if he is human. On the side of his ship is painted the words "Me love you long time...", being both a metaphor and a literal phrase of what the ship is doing to the rocks.

Later, we found out that a secret sex cult has arranged the rocks to bang into each other for the pleasure of its sadistic members, who wear masks shaped like big asteroids. Lee Ermey marches in and screams "what is your major malfunction, did mommy and daddy not show you enough love?" to the cult. and of course, the movie ends with a Malcom McDowell voiceover while we see Jack Nicholson frozen in place on the asteroid surface.

Oh Stanley - had you only been here to do it!

Re:Stanley Kubrick (1)

LWATCDR (28044) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561907)

Dude didn't I see you at the last Dead Concert?
No really man you got a hold of some primo stuff.

Re:Stanley Kubrick (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28562055)

but how could you get it to end unintelligibly, culminating in a space baby?

Re:Stanley Kubrick (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28562113)

You forgot one vital ingredient: have Jack Nicholoson scream "Heeeeeeere's crazy little saucer to shoot you!" with a warbling Mahler-like score in full volume in the background.

Sorry.

And the problem is...? (1)

argent (18001) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561611)

In this $300 million, three-and-a-half hour spectacle, loud and expensive computer simulations of large boulders crashing into one another are briefly interrupted by the hilarious antics of Chip and Gravel, two living rocks with gold teeth who speak in hip-hop slang, and the nonstop shouting of John Turturro.

And the problem with this would be... what? It's a frigging video game, for gods' sake!

Pong (1)

dan_sdot (721837) | more than 5 years ago | (#28561781)

Hey, Hollywood:
I'll sell you the right to PONG for $2.5 million.

That is sure to be a box-office hit too.
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