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Railway Workers Get Daily Smile Scans

samzenpus posted more than 5 years ago | from the *_* dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 385

More than 500 workers at Japan's, Keihin Electric Express Railway, must have their faces scanned each morning to determine their optimum smile. The "smile scan" analyzes a smile based on facial characteristics, from lip curves and eye movements to wrinkles. After the program scans you, it produces a smile rating that ranges from zero to 100 depending on the estimated potential of your biggest smile. If your number is sufficient, you can go about your day grinning like a maniac. If your smile number is too low the computer will give you a message such as, "lift up your mouth corners" or "you still look too serious." Every morning employees receive a printout of their daily smile which they are expected to keep with them throughout the day.

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Japan is insane. (5, Interesting)

Trinexx (1378811) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597333)

What the hell is wrong with the Japanese? What practical purpose does this serve?

Re:Japan is insane. (5, Insightful)

dyingtolive (1393037) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597371)

I agree entirely. At the same time, this scares me. What if they start demanding you report to the attitude modification center for your antidepressants because you're not smiling all day long? This especially bugs me because I'm not a smilier and I like being bitter, damnit!

Re:Japan is insane. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597617)

Or worse they will attach devices to their head and make them grin and sing all day long like this! Happy Head Device [youtube.com]

Re:Japan is insane. (5, Funny)

HappyHead (11389) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597723)

Happiness is mandatory citizen! Smile, and move along.

Re:Japan is insane. (1)

ByOhTek (1181381) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597929)

They obviously need to provide more Bouncy Bubbly Beverage and Cold Fun for desert after lunch.

Re:Japan is insane. (1)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | more than 5 years ago | (#28598095)

Just because you're Paranoid doesn't mean they're not all out to get you.

Re:Japan is insane. (1)

Presto Vivace (882157) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597631)

I am so glad I don't work there.

Re:Japan is insane. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597857)

...and I like being bitter, damnit! ...not after the treatment.

Re:Japan is insane. (1)

furby076 (1461805) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597401)

I agree with you. Japan comes out with some crazy ass shit. I can understand having gym in the morning (though to be honest, if I am wearing a suit why would you want me to sweat in the AM and have to wear it all day). At least the gym gets your metabolism working. This is just stupid. Japan comes out with some whacky shit. I think someone's been eating som bad sushi.

Re:Japan is insane. (1)

Shadow of Eternity (795165) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597485)

Gym uniform, showers.

That aside I think we've discovered one of the reasons their suicide rate is so high.

Re:Japan is insane. (4, Insightful)

Lumpy (12016) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597405)

To demean and control your workers. That is the ONLY use.

Re:Japan is insane. (4, Interesting)

betterunixthanunix (980855) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597971)

This seems to be common on commuter railroads and subways. In New York City, the MTA has an entire "discipline department," whose job is the creation and enforcement of rules -- the rulebook is as thick as several of my engineering textbooks stacked on top of each other, and concerns everything from legitimate safety issues (employees cannot be intoxicated while on the job) to absurdities (procedures and times allotted for bathroom breaks, approved travel times when summoned for random drug tests, approved procedures for filing reports on infractions committed by other employees, etc.). It is also impossible for an employee to break any single rule, as one of the rules is "employees shall follow all the rules" and another is "employees shall be aware of all the rules." I am told that a typical disciplinary hearing involves 4-6 infractions, each of which is listed separately in the employee's work history if they are found to be in violation of the rules.

Re:Japan is insane. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597447)

Dude. We already proved you can legislate morality. As if you didn't know emotion was next!

Re:Japan is insane. (1)

sesshomaru (173381) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597483)

There was an old Dr. Who episode called "The Happiness Patrol," non-smilers would be drowned in syrup.

Also, in the Simpsons Time Travel Tree House of Horror episode, the Ned Flanders world had mandatory smiling enforced by hooks, and if that didn't sort out the Negative Nellies, then there was the option of a total frontal lobotomy. "And they let you keep the piece of brain they cut out," as Moe says.

Also, I present this video [youtube.com] .

Kawaii!

Re:Japan is insane. (1)

Kompressor (595513) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597843)

I will never look at a bunny the same way again...

**shudders**

Re:Japan is insane. (1)

mordenkhai (1167617) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597487)

From the article, it looks like they are a service company, not a railway builder. So, from what I have heard, the Japanese haven't smiled like Americans traditionally do. This system is like daily training on smiling for customers. Very odd, but I guess if they want smiling employees they have to teach them how?

Re:Japan is insane. (4, Funny)

digitig (1056110) | more than 5 years ago | (#28598043)

Over here if you smile all day at work they test you for pot.

Re:Japan is insane. (4, Interesting)

jellomizer (103300) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597545)

Simple, if you smile and pretend to be happy, you actually become more happy. When you are happy annoying people are less annoying and allows you to do service work more effectively.

If you fly a lot compare Southwest with American Air.

Southwest people are trained to smile and be cheerful. American Air doesn't.

Southwest has less delays and is more profitable and the passagers are better behaved and quiet and cuterious of others.

Re:Japan is insane. (3, Interesting)

ShieldW0lf (601553) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597811)

It's true. That's why when you take a sales job you have to get in a circle at 7 am and do the big "ra ra ra" thing. It allows you to be contagiously happy and make money. It's pretty commonplace in workplaces all over the world. The only difference is, the Japanese don't have enough population to be able to make ends meet, so they've created a robot to fill the role that would otherwise be filled by your "team leader".

Did you know Sadness is and has always been one of the seven deadly sins? Nowadays, they call it "Sloth".

Re:Japan is insane. (2, Informative)

damien_kane (519267) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597905)

Did you know Sadness is and has always been one of the seven deadly sins? Nowadays, they call it "Sloth".

Sloth isn't sadness. It's laziness.
Eternal sadness can be viewed as the reward for following the path of the sins, just as eternal happiness is the reward for pursuing the 7 virtues.

Re:Japan is insane. (4, Informative)

ShieldW0lf (601553) | more than 5 years ago | (#28598079)

It was originally called Acedia. It's an ancient Greek word describing a state of listlessness or torpor.

This was subdivided into Despair (Latin, Tristitia) and Sloth (Latin, Socordia)

It wasn't until around the 17th century that the interpretation of laziness became dominant. It was intended to refer to a sadness and depression that kills the charitable nature of a mans soul, cutting him off from the possibility of redemption.

Nowadays, we label it "mental illness".

Re:Japan is insane. (0, Troll)

ardor (673957) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597851)

So, shall we nominate you the head of the new Citizen Morality Correction Center? Or do you prefer leading the Citizen Behavior Optimization Section instead? Hey, how about constantly monitoring everybody's mood, so nobody dares to be unhappy! Yes, that sounds great!

Re:Japan is insane. (2, Informative)

Xtravar (725372) | more than 5 years ago | (#28598115)

My only Southwest experience as of late was a 3 hour flight to Dallas, and we had to stop in Oklahoma City because the pilot realized we didn't have enough fuel. What.the.fuck? Around here they're considered pretty crappy.

Re:Japan is insane. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597609)

No more insane than many places, just more technical. I can get a look at this kind stuff in Silicon Valley by walking in to any Safeway store. All they lack (I think) is the scanner.

Re:Japan is insane. (3, Insightful)

JWSmythe (446288) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597771)

    It's the same thing that TGIBennaChilies does. Make sure you have a smile, talk warm and friendly, and oh dear god make sure you're wearing enough flair [youtube.com] . :)

    First thing in the morning, don't expect a smile on my face, unless I was up all night the night before, and had a morning quickie before leaving the house. Even then, I've never had a job that made me want to smile in the morning. Work is work, it's not to be freakin' enjoyed.

    I prefer that work ethic. I don't need shiny happy people asking how they can help me. I need someone to answer my question correctly in only as many works as required. No, there's nothing else they can help me with. I don't care that your name is Melissa or Steve or Joanne, I can read your nametag just like any other literate customer. If I need something else, I'm not going to hunt you down, I'm going to ask the sales person who's closest. And no, I don't want to supersize it, and I don't care that it's only 35 cents more.

    I went in a store today to buy cigarettes. There's a really cute girl working the counter. Eye candy goes a long way. :) I asked for a carton of cigarettes. She said they only have 9 packs. I said that would be fine, and she gave me my total. I paid, and was out the door in less than a minute. *THAT* is what I want. If I wanted warm and friendly, I'd go play with a cat. If I want a girl to flirt with me and blow smoke up my ass, I'd go see an escort. I'd say my wife, but any married man knows, once the ring goes on the finger, friendliness and complements are gone, unless she wants something. The friendlier she is, the more expensive the thing she wants.

Re:Japan is insane. (2, Insightful)

ShieldW0lf (601553) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597853)

Work is work, it's not to be freakin' enjoyed.

I have a label for people who have that attitude about life. It's "WHORE".

Re:Japan is insane. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28598103)

I fall more inbetween the two extremes. I'm not about to smile in the morning, but I enjoy work, and enjoy the people AT work.

Why not smile in the morning? Because I just woke up a bit ago, and my body is still bitching at me about wanting to crawl back into bed. Once that goes away an hour or so later, it's clear sailing.

Re:Japan is insane. (2, Insightful)

StellarFury (1058280) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597981)

I agree. I'm sick of walking into stores and not being able to just look for a thing without being asked "Is there something I can help you with, sir?" The worst is RadioShack - I seriously don't go there anymore because spending two minutes comparing one device or cable against another must be seen by the employees as a sign of incompetence, and they MUST help you with your problem because only THEY, with their great RADIOSHACK training have the answer.

Re:Japan is insane. (4, Insightful)

spire3661 (1038968) | more than 5 years ago | (#28598083)

    First thing in the morning, don't expect a smile on my face, unless I was up all night the night before, and had a morning quickie before leaving the house. Even then, I've never had a job that made me want to smile in the morning. Work is work, it's not to be freakin' enjoyed.

    I prefer that work ethic. I don't need shiny happy people asking how they can help me. I'd say my wife, but any married man knows, once the ring goes on the finger, friendliness and complements are gone, unless she wants something. The friendlier she is, the more expensive the thing she wants.

I feel sad that you think this is a normal life. If you are serious, so am I.

Re:Japan is insane. (5, Interesting)

Ohio Calvinist (895750) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597841)

While it is kind of creepy, having worked in Technical Support, I found that when I made myself smile, even when I was furiously angry or irritated, it helped me "be" more friendly and attentive to my callers, than when I frowned, or wrapped my phone cord around my neck like a noose, etc...

When you are in customer service, it makes a huge difference, and belive it or not, it often makes a huge difference to customers who expect that you don't care about them and are just jockeying the time clock. Perception is everything.

However, rather than doing this, it might be better to just talk to the employee if you see them routinely looking like they ate a lemon.

Re:Japan is insane. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28598127)

Smiling actually changes your tone of voice. People may not pick up on it on a conscious level, but they do, even just over the telephone.

Re:Japan is insane. (4, Insightful)

hcs_$reboot (1536101) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597871)

What the hell is wrong with the Japanese? What practical purpose does this serve?

I do not agree. A big difference between Japan and the West is that Japanese do not live/feel this like a constraint. And a guy won't be fired because "he cannot smile". There are many other similar aspects of the Japanese companies that would be hard to understand West side. This one is certainly humorous and original, thus it was publicized.

Re:Japan is insane. (1)

tsalmark (1265778) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597889)

Walmart greeters are US, and have similar, if less formal requirements.

Re:Japan is insane. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28598121)

But at least railway workers still serve a purpose. Walmart greeters just annoy the people standing in line at the registers. Why is that idiot standing at the door greeting people when he should be over here taking my money so I can get out of this hellhole?

Re:Japan is insane. (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597991)

As insane as it may seem, being serviced by staff with an happy smile may really make your day a better day and reduce stress for a lot of people.
If you've been in japan you understand.

Re:Japan is insane. (2, Insightful)

scottishfae (1118651) | more than 5 years ago | (#28598059)

This probably serves the same purpose as businessmen taking "smiling classes." From what I've heard, the Japanese are trying to fight a long-standing tradition of not-smiling ("control of emotions," etc) by having people be taught how to smile, and how to smile in a way that will appeal to people outside of Japan. The concept of this is that they'll be able to connect with foreign businessmen easier, and not seem so stand-offish. If I had to make a guess of why this was being done to railway workers, then I would assume it was something similar.

The Japanese have a talent (1)

Weedhopper (168515) | more than 5 years ago | (#28598061)

Japan seems like it has a decidedly odd take on things because it's a wealthy, first world nation who's culture is substantially different from the west's.

Just look at Japanese games shows like that human tetris thing. No western TV guys would have come up with that. Different culture.

Bad news... (5, Funny)

tnk1 (899206) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597339)

Those employees about to be terminated receive the following critique:

"WHY SO SERIOUS?"

Re:Bad news... (1)

JWSmythe (446288) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597825)

    I guess it would matter what your definition of "terminated" is.

Re:Bad news... (2, Funny)

wbren (682133) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597999)

In that case, they're just lucky to be railroad workers instead of pencil factory workers. Actually, I'm not sure which is worse...

Flair! (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597343)

And be sure to wear some flair. That would be great.

Re:Flair! (4, Funny)

palegray.net (1195047) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597439)

See James over there? He's got a fantastic smile! Customers really like him... you could just do the minimum smile, but you don't want to be a minimum kind of employee, now do you?

Re:Flair! (4, Insightful)

Talderas (1212466) | more than 5 years ago | (#28598133)

You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

Is James a Jew?

Smile here (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597369)

^_____________________________________^

  Filter error: Your comment looks too much like ascii art.

All I can Say Is... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597389)

:) :) :)

Because large smiles are so comforting... (0, Troll)

Red4man (1347635) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597391)

I mean, who wouldn't trust this smiling guy [wordpress.com] to get the train to the station on time?

Re:Because large smiles are so comforting... (2, Funny)

hairpinred (1142257) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597441)

For that matter, There's Smiling Bob [jazz.com] , too.

Re:Because large smiles are so comforting... (2, Interesting)

Stormwatch (703920) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597669)

Don't forget the Grinman. [encycloped...matica.com]

Hack it to print this (1)

iamhigh (1252742) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597397)

CHEEZ!!! [mentalfloss.com]

I can say only one thing (5, Insightful)

Ronald Dumsfeld (723277) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597403)

Fuck. Right. Off.

I can be polite and professional without smiling.

Re:I can say only one thing (4, Funny)

iron-kurton (891451) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597541)

Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays

Re:I can say only one thing (1, Insightful)

JWSmythe (446288) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597883)

    You know, every time I hear that directed towards me, it sends me into a little rage inside.

    Today is special though. It's bring your gun to work Monday. I have something a little more special for you today. I'd to introduce you to my friend, Mr. Glock. It's not a matter of workplace violence. It's a matter of attitude control.

Re:I can say only one thing (4, Funny)

tnk1 (899206) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597639)

Fuck. Right. Off.

I can be polite and professional without smiling.

There's something contradictory about these statements... but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Re:I can say only one thing (0, Flamebait)

Hognoxious (631665) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597765)

Nothing contradictory at all. He isn't being polite and professional to you.

And seeng what a pillock you are, I don't blame him.

Re:I can say only one thing (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28598113)

Fuck. Right. Off.

I can be polite and professional without smiling.

case and point!

Articre text (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597409)

More than 500 staff at Keihin Erectric Express Rairway are expected to be subjected to dairy face scans by "smire porice" bosses.

The "smire scan" software, deveroped by the Japanese company Omron, produces a sweeping anarysis of a smire based on faciar characteristics, from rip curves and eye movements to wrinkres.

After scanning a face, the device produces a rating between zero to 100 depending on the estimated varue of the furfirred potentiar of a person's biggest smire.

For those with a berow-par grin, one of an array of smire-boosting messages wirr op up on the computer screen ranging from "you stirr rook too serious" to "rift up your mouth corners", according to the Mainichi Dairy News.

A growing number of service industries are reportedry using the new Omron Smire Scan system for "smire training" among its staff.

Workers at Keihin Erectric Express Rairway wirr receive a print out of their dairy smire which they wirr be expected to keep with then throughout the day to inspire them to smire at arr times, the report added.

fake vs genuine (4, Interesting)

prakslash (681585) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597459)

This may seem bizzare but scientists have long made a distinctinction betwen "fake smiles" and "genuine smiles".
See this [nlrg.com] and this [bbc.co.uk] .

For people who have to deal with members of the public on a daily basis, being able to produce a smile that seems genuine may make a difference in how their customers perceive their service.

Re:fake vs genuine (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597671)

Crap. I got ALL of them wrong :( -Kaushik

Re:fake vs genuine (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597679)

Yes, that's the most important part of honesty: being able to fake it.

Re:fake vs genuine (1)

Arslan ibn Da'ud (636514) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597839)

For people who have to deal with members of the public on a daily basis, being able to produce a smile that seems genuine may make a difference in how their customers perceive their service.

I can't tell a fake smile from a real one, but I sure can spot the oxymoron in that sentence. So the goal is to present a fake smile that others think is genuine?

Re:fake vs genuine (1)

Aladrin (926209) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597915)

And it really does matter. I can tell when someone's smile isn't real, and I get creeped out by it. They may be smiling as required, but I'm under no illusion that they will be really nice... Like, not spitting in my drink. Fake smiles are a sign that someone is looking to mess you over. For an employee, that's usually because the company is messing them over to start with.

Relax... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597463)

...and let the hooks do their work.

China is not oppressive - japan is (1, Interesting)

furby076 (1461805) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597469)

Really...at least in China they don't give a crap if you are sad. You can frown all you want. In Japan - smile or the "smile police" will get you. WTF is wrong with you? How will this do anything other then make people more annoyed. Instead of spending this time/resources on crap how about you spend this time/resources on 1) giving your employees a free lunch, 2) giving them a raise (way to make me smile), or giving them extra time off since you obviously have so much money to spend on stupid smiley police.

Re:China is not oppressive - japan is (1)

PainKilleR-CE (597083) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597763)

They already probably get paid more than whatever their equivalent would be in the US or China, and get more time off. You can't give them a raise every day to keep them smiling, and this probably works.

Not that I support this in any way, it's just a much more logical way of solving the problem than most, when you really think about it.

Re:China is not oppressive - japan is (1)

Rakshasa Taisab (244699) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597903)

In other places the ones in power oppress you, while in Japan you oppress yourself.

Smile Scans Are Magnitudes Better Than (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597501)

total body scans at U.S.A. Gulag airports.

Yours In Socialism,
Kilgore Trout

Office space... (1)

RyanFenton (230700) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597503)

Here's the Obligitory link to the Office Space 'Chochkies' scene [youtube.com]

Except this time, folks DO need the job, and their co-workers are contorting their own faces in ways that may show up in archeological remains. Remember folks - competition doesn't always result in absolutely productive pressures, just selective ones.

Ryan Fenton

Another Great Leap Forward? (1)

filesiteguy (695431) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597517)

I read this and can't help but think of Mao's slogan, "Smile, you're happy!" I know this is a private company - or at least a single government entity - but still it smacks of Orwellianism.

Maybe it is actually doubleplusgood but I just don't get it.

Re:Another Great Leap Forward? (3, Interesting)

PainKilleR-CE (597083) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597805)

Here in Virginia, you're not supposed to smile in your DMV pictures any more because it supposedly messes up facial recognition software used by the state. Guess I have 4 years to find somewhere that doesn't do this before they start tracking my face all over town.

Life in Japan must be tough (4, Funny)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597525)

The overcrowding, intense pressure to conform, the legacy of the 90's real estate bust, and now this? Well, at least they have a lot of robots.

Break out the happy helmet (5, Funny)

SendBot (29932) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597535)

Sing along everybody...

"Happy happy. Joy joy!"
"Happy happy. Joy joy!"

"I don't think you're happy enough"

"I'll teach you to be happy. I'll teach your grandma to suck eggs!"

"and the little critters of nature. They don't know that they're ugly."

"I TOLD YOU I'D SHOOT, BUT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME!!! WHYYYYY WOULDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME!!!???"

"Happy happy. Joy joy!"
"Happy happy. Joy joy!"

Re:Break out the happy helmet (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597937)

The Happy Happy Joy Joy song! Haven't heard that since Ren & Stimpy.

a company that cares - that's so sweet (5, Funny)

Tumbleweed (3706) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597555)

Beatings will continue until morale improves!
- The Management

ps Have a nice day!

(Seriously, have a nice day, you little piss-ants, OR ELSE.)

Least they will look happy when they kill you. (1)

Dareth (47614) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597985)

Nice to know that with this level of training, even if an employee goes off their rocker and starts killing folks, they will at least look happy while they are doing it!

Twilight Zone (2, Interesting)

PriceIke (751512) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597569)

This is the creepiest thing I have read in a long time. Is this real? Am I the only one who see this device as the basis of an episode of Rod Serling's Twilight Zone?

Re:Twilight Zone (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597699)

You were glued to SciFi (SyFy by tomorrow) all weekend, weren't you? :) I was!

Re:Twilight Zone (1)

Escape From NY (1539983) | more than 5 years ago | (#28598017)

If you don't smile Anthony-san will wish you into the rice paddy.

It's a real good thing that you did, a real good thing.

Re:Twilight Zone (1)

yoshi_mon (172895) | more than 5 years ago | (#28598101)

Just relax and let the hooks do their work.

Hmmm.... (1)

yogibaer (757010) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597587)

judging from the mood of the public transport people that I see every day, this gadget must have an additional "mean" and "grumpy" mode for export models.

US customs (0, Flamebait)

Per Wigren (5315) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597633)

This would be a perfect program for US customs!

Not that I have travelled to the US though, but I've heard way too many first hand horror stories to not wanting to go there, ever, for any reason.

Fake smile (1)

camcorder (759720) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597653)

If there's something more annoying than serious looking serviceman, it should be a serviceman with a fake smile. Whoever behind this clever idea should pay more attention to what people expect from services, it is for sure not smiling puppies.

Re:Fake smile (2, Funny)

maugle (1369813) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597791)

Good point. Is this smile scan able to distinguish between genuine smiles, fake smiles, and scary psychotic "I will kill myself and everyone within a five-meter radius in 4..3..2.." smiles?

to many smiles (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597705)

This may be akin to the many Thai smiles that often mean Go F%$# yourself but said with a smile!

If you fail three times... (2, Informative)

Kushieda Minorin (1453751) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597707)

...you must watch Koume [youtube.com] .

Guaranteed to put a smile on anyone's face.

Leave me alone (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28597729)

This is insane. Personally I almost never smile, and when I do it is with a closed mouth, I do not show my mouth. I would hate to work at a place like this.
And I always find it creepy when employs at places I go to try and smile at me. The walmart greeters really creep me out, I do not want strange old dudes coming up to talk to me or people coming at me with their fake smiles.

I'd be fired... (3, Insightful)

Em Emalb (452530) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597733)

I'm not a smiler. My wife gives me hell whenever we take pictures together because I don't smile. I don't like fake smiling. It's stupid and I can tell when someone is faking it. My "fake" smile is stupid looking.

They'd fire me after about a week. And you know what? I'd be cool with that.

Retarded policy, well done, Japanese company.

What if you buy a smiley face mask...? (1)

VinylRecords (1292374) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597775)

What if you buy a smiley face mask and wear it on your face in front of the 'smile detection camera' or whatever it is?

"Sugoi! Score 100. Your smile makes train customers very very happy!"

Omron is the Manufacturer (1)

beckett (27524) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597809)

here's a link to Omron [omron.com] site regarding their Face Recognition software. if anyone can navigate the Japanese [omron.co.jp] site could glean us more information.

i'm wondering if the scanner is using some type of microexpression recognition [blogspot.com] to determine genuine smiles. I think this would be the state-of-the-art for facial scanners.

Re:Omron is the Manufacturer (4, Informative)

beckett (27524) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597881)

as a followup, here is the OAKO [technovelgy.com] Realtime [pinktentacle.com] Smile Recognition [youtube.com] technology probably being employed in the worker scanning. according to the sparse sites the system can operate without calibration.

mask (1)

Beer_Smurf (700116) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597877)

Where is a guy fawkes mask when you need it.

Paranoia (1)

Glith (7368) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597885)

Citizen,

The computer has detected a potentially treasonous level of discontent upon recent examination of your facial expressions. Report immediately to your Happiness Officer for re-education.

Stay alert! Keep your laser handy! (2, Insightful)

Scutter (18425) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597887)

When you are happy, the Computer is happy! When the Computer is happy, you are happy! You are hereby promoted to Blue security clearance. Remain vigilant against the works of muties and communists... and above all, Be A Happy Citizen! Trust the Computer! The Computer is your friend!

Japanese Perfection (5, Insightful)

Hercules Peanut (540188) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597899)

This is the perfect example of treating a symptom. Smiles represent good feelings and a positive attitude which can very very infectious and so desirable in customer service. However, if someone is "too serious" the response "still to serious" doesn't really help. Perhaps they should consider the root of the issue and try to make their employees genuinely happy.

Another option is to have them all wear smiley face masks :)

"Your smile is perfect, Yoshi!" (4, Funny)

hyades1 (1149581) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597911)

Thought bubble over Yoshi's head:

"It is so easy to smile like this when I think about pulling out Boss-san's intestines with rusty fish knife and feeding them to my dog in front of his dying eyes. His time to visit honourable ancestors comes faster than he thinks.

I am not a morning person (4, Insightful)

hairykrishna (740240) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597951)

If the smile auditing machine told me I didn't look happy enough, prior to my first work coffee of the day, there's be a serious danger that I'd attack it with a fire axe.

amateurs (3, Funny)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 5 years ago | (#28597989)

just dose the railway car's air supply with xanax

if you are going to ignore free will, you might as well go all the way

This is a tad silly... (2, Insightful)

SBFCOblivion (1041418) | more than 5 years ago | (#28598041)

They're obviously doing this so that their employees provide a better experience to the customers (as in come off as happier/friendlier).

It is silly though as well as overboard. And from my experience the Japanese are polite/respectful enough that a smile (forced one at that) really isn't needed.

I'll tell you who does need this though: US Customs agents. Seriously. Only instead of measuring the 'smile' factor it should measure power-trip probability and general douchebaggery. Then they can wear the results around all day so we civs will know which agent booths to avoid.

I, for one, welcome our smiley overloords. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28598069)

::GRIN::

screw that, it hurts too much...

Obligatory Paranoia Reference (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28598131)

The Computer is your friend. Happiness is mandatory. Not being happy is treason. Treason is punishable by death. Are you happy? I knew you were.

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