Huge Unidentified Organic Blob Floating Around Alaska 424
Z80xxc! writes "The Anchorage Daily News reports that a 15 mile-long blob of unknown, 'gooey,' probably organic material is floating past communities on Alaska's North Slope. The US Coast Guard sent pollution experts to investigate, who determined that it was not an oil spill or other type of pollution, but were unable to determine what it is. A sample is currently being analyzed by experts in Anchorage, while the blob is following the current northwards."
Well Shit... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Well Shit... (Score:5, Funny)
Well, shoggoth,
It's probably a shit.
Re:Well Shit... (Score:5, Interesting)
It could be the 1997 bloop that the Navy picked up on their sonar equipment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloop). It looked like a biological entity, but was far to big to be any known creature.
Which wouldn't rule out it being a shoggoth.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Except that Bloop was sound.
This is silent.
The arctic is melting.
Trapped in frozen ice for centuries, -- not of this earth.
Que Kurt Russell.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thing_(film) [wikipedia.org]
Re:Well Shit... (Score:4, Funny)
The real question (Score:2, Interesting)
I was me... (Score:3, Funny)
I took a big dump overboard this morning. Sorry about that.
Re:Well Shit... (Score:5, Funny)
A 15 mile gooey organic blob floating off the Alaska coast? What a coincidence I just heard that Brittney Spears was vacationing someplace north... oh wait, I think I just solved the mystery...
Indeed... (Score:2, Funny)
Nobody knows for sure what the gunk is, but Petty Officer 1st Class Terry Hasenauer says the Coast Guard is sure what it is not.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it!
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Re:Well Shit... (Score:5, Funny)
Ia Ia Cthulhu nal fatang!!!!!
Sounds like what the Knights of Ni would say if they became Mythos fans.
Re:Well Shit... (Score:5, Funny)
O R'lyeh?
Ya. R'lyeh.
Oh no! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Oh no! (Score:5, Funny)
I didn't realise that the fear of typecasting had become a physical entity yet. Mind you, that explains why it's off the west coast.
Re:Oh no! (Score:4, Insightful)
Well, the foolishness of quitting a hit show early on with people whispering in your ear how awesome you are, followed by a permatanked career, most definitely was a well-established physical entity by that time. Just ask Suzanne Somers, Farrah Fawcett, or McClean Stevenson.
Look I'm sorry OK? (Score:4, Funny)
I took this job on a crab boat, I was on there for like 2 months, there wasn't any internet, I forgot to pack any Playboys, I finally found an old SI Swimsuit issue in the galley....I didn't know there would much!
- Randy Marsh
Re:Look I'm sorry OK? (Score:5, Funny)
And in a case of the punishment fitting the crime, this seaman was given a dishonorable discharge.
Algal Bloom (Score:5, Informative)
Do algal blooms eat geese???? (Score:3, Informative)
"It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.
Re:Do algal blooms eat geese???? (Score:4, Informative)
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Occasionaly you can find seaweed patches with dead bird remains in them. Does that mean the seaweed is eating the birds? no.
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Yes, that might be why they say it could be an Algae Bloom~
Re:Algal Bloom (Score:5, Funny)
Just as an experiment, why don't we throw a few Congress-people on it and see what happens. Worst that can happen? They come out just fine.
Re:Algal Bloom (Score:5, Funny)
Gods, no -- what if it makes them GROW??!!!
Re:Algal Bloom (Score:4, Funny)
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Fixed that for you: ... why don't we throw a few bankers on it and see what happens.
.
--
In America, banks rob you.
Cowboy Neal! (Score:2, Insightful)
Too obvious?
Alien Jism (Score:4, Funny)
To quote Arnold J. Rimmer.. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:To quote Arnold J. Rimmer.. (Score:4, Funny)
Aye, it's obviously the gooey remains of a thousand QUAGAAARRR warriors.
It's the smog monster! (Score:5, Funny)
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Godzilla? What's that? Don't you mean Godzirra?
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assuming the Japanese don't kill the giant lizard who always saves them, God(zilla) knows why the hell they always try to kill the lizard who always saves their ass.
Cus every time he wakes up and there's no three-headed monster from outer space or whatnot to fight, he throws a tiff and destroys Tokyo. And most of the time when there is a monster to fight he ends up destroying Tokyo anyway.
He's essentially a giant, radioactive and even more antisocial Demolition Man. Can you blame the Japanese for not want
What's all the fuss about? (Score:5, Funny)
a, Take probes, issue some press reports and analyse it while letting in float around.
b, No nothing, let someone else deal with it.
c, Clean up the god damn ugly slime before it starts to eat Alaska, and analyse it later.
d, Make a documentary on how the big unidentified slimy thing ate Alaska and make profit with it.
Re:What's all the fuss about? (Score:5, Funny)
e. I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Re:What's all the fuss about? (Score:4, Funny)
A-glass-ka?
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e. Kill it with fire.
Palin's report (Score:5, Funny)
I can see it from my back porch!
CTHULU finally watched GamerZ (Score:3, Informative)
Reading is FUNdamental! (Score:3, Insightful)
Let's see. RingTFA says "A mysterious glob of unknown material up to 12 miles long has appeared off Alaska's northern coast." Later, "spotted a long strand of the stuff and followed it for about 15 miles, shooting video from the air." Slashdot headline says "a 15 mile-long blob of unknown, "gooey", probably organic material"
Reading is FUNdamental!
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Except that it is moving with the current. It probably moved 3 miles in the time it took him to go 15.
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Right, that's the obvious interpretation of the difference in numbers in the article, and thus the slashdot summary is wrong.
Just don't taste it! (Score:2)
Well, duh... (Score:2)
...Steve McQueen froze it and global warming thawed it.
rj
Slight Correction (Score:5, Insightful)
Whale sneezed (Score:4, Funny)
We're done here.
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Thank you for keeping that as clean as possible. I almost avoided reading the comments on this one in fear of what other fluid might be suggested.
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Japanese freighter spilled production materials, filming's been set back months.
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Palin knew! (Score:5, Funny)
She knew she couldn't do what had to be done as the Governor so she resigned in order to put together a rag tag group of misfits with the skills necessary to save the world.
One Family, One helicopter, One Mission.
Coming this summer! The Palins Hunt in...
Die Nature Die!
Re:Palin knew! (Score:5, Funny)
So it's her or the blob... hmm... is this kinda like "Alien vs. Predator in Bizarro world"? Whoever loses, we win?
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Palin's Blog (Score:5, Funny)
She was advised to create a Blog, but heard blob
Power vacuum (Score:5, Funny)
Grey Goo? (Score:2)
Prehistoric Bio-matter (Score:2, Interesting)
My completely scientifically unfounded guess would be that it's what's left of some sort of bio-matter that was trapped long ago and was pushed up by warming waters or released from receding ice.
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I hope there's dino DNA in there!
It's ... (Score:2)
Cue the music (Score:3, Funny)
Beware of the blob, it creeps
And leaps and glides and slides
Across the floor
Right through the door
And all around the wall
A splotch, a blotch
Be careful of the blob
-The Five Blobs
files (Score:2)
what does Fox Mulder says about that ?
The Raft (Score:5, Interesting)
Short story/short film in Stephen King's Creepshow 2. These campers swim out to a fixed raft in the middle of a lake and some goop, not unlike the goop in the article, follows them. One person touches it, and it leeches up her arm and pulls her in. This sort of continues for the next 10 minutes or so until there hero and heroine make out. It's Stephen King so it doesn't end well.
My point? Don't touch it. And don't let it touch you.
Re: (Score:2)
The short story was in Skeleton Crew [wikipedia.org] , and first published in Gallery magazine (no link because it's a porn mag).
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Wow, you might need to re-read that story.
I would love to read the article, but... (Score:3, Insightful)
Seriously?
"Welcome! To access adn.com content and features for free, you must be a registered user."
First, a wag of the finger to the OP for linking to something I have to register a plethora of information just to read "for free".
Second, a wag of the finger for ADN for requiring so *much* of my information.
Here's a nice link: blob news story on juneauempire [juneauempire.com]
Has to be said (Score:2)
I for one welcome our pollution mutated self-aware organic blob overlords.
Organic ... (Score:5, Funny)
15 miles long? (Score:5, Funny)
I don't remember this exactly, but ... (Score:5, Informative)
Around 10-15 years ago, the same thing happened off the Icelandic Westfjords, which is the north-west part of Iceland. At first, it was believed to be a spill of the waste matter from fish oil production, but then scientists determined it was caused by a mass death of some species of plankton, which are really small, almost microscopic crustaceans or similar. This particular species was quite oily and died off en masse because of increased sea temperatures or some such.
As I said, I can't remember any useful details, but that's more or less what happened back then, sometime near the end of last century off the coast of North-West Iceland.
In a big port city somewhere... (Score:4, Funny)
is a container ship captain trying to figure out what happened to those five containers full of Jello mix he was supposed to deliver.
Re:Its the blob! (Score:5, Funny)
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Nevermind Creepshow 2 (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Creepshow 2, anyone? (Score:5, Informative)
Re: (Score:2)
yeah - its in the tagline: from the real-reason-Palin-resigned dept.
Re:palin power (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Re:palin power (Score:4, Funny)
Re:palin power (Score:4, Funny)
Yes it's true. The EPA guy man has no dick.
Re:palin power (Score:5, Funny)
Yes it's true. This man has no dick.
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I question democracy as a suitable way to form a government if she does that and yet STILL gets votes. Because then it's obvious that stupid people must not take part in important decisions, like, say, forming a government.
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Palin would never say anything like that. No conservative in their right minds would believe that the liberal energy from the West Coast would coalesce into anything smaller than a blob the size of the Pacific Ocean.
Re:palin power (Score:5, Funny)
Right President Obama will offer to meet with the blob in an atmosphere of mutual respect.
Okay now that we have done both sides of the stupid poltical comments we can move one.
Re:palin power (Score:4, Funny)
*runs up, panting*
Guys, check it out, I got a great topical Ron Paul joke!
What, we're done with the political jokes? Aw man, late to the party again...
Re: (Score:2)
*runs up, panting*
Guys, check it out, I got a great topical Ron Paul joke!
What, we're done with the political jokes? Aw man, late to the party again...
Man, you think you're late to the party... What am I supposed to do with all these Tom Dewey jokes I had lined up?
Re:palin power (Score:5, Insightful)
You know the conservative attention whore
Is she really, or does she just get mentioned by everyone, everywhere pointlessly, such as in a thread discussing something weird in the ocean?
You might be *part* of the problem, sir.
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I'm not sure what you're getting at. If the solution works, then it validates her argument. And as far as I'm concerned unlicensed nuclear accelerators are the solution to *everything*, simply by virtue of their coolness.
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Re:I for one... (Score:5, Funny)
There's a reason they are called Sperm Whales..........I'm just saying.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Huh? It's slimy, greasy and absolutely disgusting, so far so good, but it's neither a senator nor a lobbyist, so why bother?
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Could be a banker. Has this theory been tested? Throw some taxpayer money at it. If it keeps it without lending it, whines about pay raise restrictions, then asks for more, we have our answer.
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Really? [google.com]
Then again, I'm from Alaska. Maybe there are a bunch of gray, gooey, congealed whales up here, and I've never noticed.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
you'll find them at your walmart, brushing both sides of the aisles as they ride on the battery powered vehicles intended for "disabled" people. we call them old honky tubbalard bitches heres here in Chicago.
Re:Looks like whale blood to me (Score:4, Informative)
Then again, I'm in Philadelphia and have no idea what whale blood looks like
Now you know. [current.com]
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Nerds and geeks are famously socially awkward, and you're disappointed that they (we!) aren't making good jokes?
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Palin is a punchline. Trying to add something on top of that would be redundant.
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Welcome to Slashdot!
Thank you for improving the quality of our public discourse with your very splendid and worthwhile comment.
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I was thinking that after her failed attempt to get into serious power she committed carbicyde and rolled into the ocean.
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