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Huge Unidentified Organic Blob Floating Around Alaska

samzenpus posted more than 5 years ago | from the real-reason-Palin-resigned dept.

Science 424

Z80xxc! writes "The Anchorage Daily News reports that a 15 mile-long blob of unknown, 'gooey,' probably organic material is floating past communities on Alaska's North Slope. The US Coast Guard sent pollution experts to investigate, who determined that it was not an oil spill or other type of pollution, but were unable to determine what it is. A sample is currently being analyzed by experts in Anchorage, while the blob is following the current northwards."

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424 comments

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Well Shit... (5, Funny)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716639)

It's probably a shoggoth.

Re:Well Shit... (4, Funny)

WetCat (558132) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716725)

Well, shoggoth,
It's probably a shit.

Re:Well Shit... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716735)

Thank god for that. On first reading I thought it might have been Robert Maxwell.

Re:Well Shit... (1, Offtopic)

martas (1439879) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716803)

mod parent up, or Cthulhu will rise from the city of R'lyeh.

Re:Well Shit... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716859)

It's probably a shoggoth.

How about THE BLOB! [wikipedia.org]

Seriously Guys, he's back, and he's pissed.

Re:Well Shit... (1)

mathx314 (1365325) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717305)

Not sure if he could have made it to the West Coast in just a week though. After all, he was probably in PA for the Blobfest [thecolonialtheatre.com] this past weekend.

Re:Well Shit... (5, Interesting)

wisty (1335733) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716885)

It could be the 1997 bloop that the Navy picked up on their sonar equipment (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloop). It looked like a biological entity, but was far to big to be any known creature.

Which wouldn't rule out it being a shoggoth.

Re:Well Shit... (1)

BudongBait (946579) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716911)

Well let me be the first to say....
Ia Ia Cthulhu nal fatang!!!!!

Creepshow 2, anyone? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716651)

Someone tell Sarah Palin to go for a swim!

Nevermind Creepshow 2 (3, Funny)

Critical Facilities (850111) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716861)

Why am I suddenly reminded of Caddyshack [snackertainment.com] ?

Aww man... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716665)

Someone let rosie o'donnell into the ocean?

Sarah Palin Joke (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716679)

I know there's a Sarah Palin joke here somewhere. Anyone want to make an attempt?

Re:Sarah Palin Joke (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716727)

Her collected placentae?

Al Gore says... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716683)

it was probably caused by global warming though.

palin power (-1, Redundant)

ad0n (1171681) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716691)

i know there's a sarah palin joke in here somewhere..

Re:palin power (1)

Creepy (93888) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716879)

yeah - its in the tagline: from the real-reason-Palin-resigned dept.

Re:palin power (2, Funny)

cashman73 (855518) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716931)

You know the conservative attention whore is going to try to capitalize on this somehow,... like trying to connect this blob with the second coming of Christ, or the rapture, or something? Or, she'll go for the Ghostbusters explanation, saying that the blob contains all the evil left wing energy from California that's been seeping into the Ocean over the past 50 years from all the liberals and fags. She'll then hire the FagBusters from Kansas, led by Rev. Fred Phelps, arm them with unlicensed nuclear accelerators, to come up with a solution. Naturally, our only defense against this will be some dickless guy from the EPA,... ;-)

Re:palin power (3, Funny)

Nick Number (447026) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717165)

Is this true?

Re:palin power (3, Funny)

sydney094 (153190) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717379)

Yes it's true. The EPA guy man has no dick.

Re:palin power (5, Funny)

GogglesPisano (199483) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717385)

Is this true?

Yes it's true. This man has no dick.

Re:palin power (2, Insightful)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717421)

I question democracy as a suitable way to form a government if she does that and yet STILL gets votes. Because then it's obvious that stupid people must not take part in important decisions, like, say, forming a government.

Re:palin power (2, Insightful)

DigiShaman (671371) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717533)

She wont.

Unlike Al Gore, what the parent describes is not Palin's M/O. But just for the sake of argument. If she did pull a stunt like that, then yes...I would agree with you.

Re:palin power (1)

tnk1 (899206) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717515)

Palin would never say anything like that. No conservative in their right minds would believe that the liberal energy from the West Coast would coalesce into anything smaller than a blob the size of the Pacific Ocean.

Re:palin power (4, Funny)

LWATCDR (28044) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717537)

Right President Obama will offer to meet with the blob in an atmosphere of mutual respect.
Okay now that we have done both sides of the stupid poltical comments we can move one.

Re:palin power (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717543)

You know the conservative attention whore

Is she really, or does she just get mentioned by everyone, everywhere pointlessly, such as in a thread discussing something weird in the ocean?

You might be *part* of the problem, sir.

Oh no! (5, Funny)

pHus10n (1443071) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716695)

It's that thing that killed Tasha Yar!

Re:Oh no! (5, Funny)

Sockatume (732728) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716813)

I didn't realise that the fear of typecasting had become a physical entity yet. Mind you, that explains why it's off the west coast.

Re:Oh no! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717121)

rofl...

Re:Oh no! (1)

LurkingAbout (748820) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717233)

Or maybe the beginnings of the mysterious, living island in this 2002 bestseller? [amazon.com]

Its the blob! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716713)

OMG, The blob [wikipedia.org] has finally come to haunt us! Remember; don't let it get warm or we'll all be in trouble... HA, who said global warming couldn't kill!

Re:Its the blob! (5, Funny)

snowraver1 (1052510) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716789)

Quick, someone give it a jellybean!

Re:Its the blob! (1)

psychicninja (1150351) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717525)

HA! I'd mod up, but I'm fresh out of points.

Look I'm sorry OK? (4, Funny)

jayhawk88 (160512) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716723)

I took this job on a crab boat, I was on there for like 2 months, there wasn't any internet, I forgot to pack any Playboys, I finally found an old SI Swimsuit issue in the galley....I didn't know there would much!

- Randy Marsh

Re:Look I'm sorry OK? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717407)

There is an App for that.

Palin? (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716739)

Alright, who tagged this article with "Palin"?

That was too damn funny.

Dreamcatcher (1)

rxan (1424721) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716761)

Dreamcatcher imminent?

Algal Bloom (4, Informative)

ZackSchil (560462) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716793)

It looks like a bunch of seaweed and an algal bloom.

Do algal blooms eat geese???? (2, Informative)

brunes69 (86786) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717245)

"It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.

Re:Do algal blooms eat geese???? (3, Informative)

ZackSchil (560462) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717479)

No, but they sometimes kill geese with the toxins they emit. And organisms not affected by the toxins would probably enjoy eating a dead goose.

Re:Algal Bloom (1)

geekoid (135745) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717285)

Yes, that might be why they say it could be an Algae Bloom~

Maybe a new virus among whales ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716795)

... giving them diarrhoea ?

Cowboy Neal! (2, Insightful)

jollyreaper (513215) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716799)

Too obvious?

To: The World (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716819)

For the sum of Euro 100,000,000,000 , I will disable the
Organic Blob from its mission

Yours In Crime,
EVIL Richard B. Cheney

Alien Jism (3, Funny)

Tau Neutrino (76206) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716821)

Alaska's fucked.

Re:Alien Jism (1)

beatbox32 (325106) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716963)

Is this how Yetis are made?

I for one... (1, Insightful)

martas (1439879) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716825)

welcome our new gooey overlords.

but seriously, it's probably garbage stuck together with some sort of fungus or something.

Re:I for one... (0)

alexj33 (968322) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717157)

>> Welcome our new gooey overlord.

There, fixed that for you.

Oh noes! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716829)

It's God! [amazon.com]

I for one... (0, Redundant)

squoozer (730327) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716841)

...bow down to our giant blobby overloads.

Hey, someone had to burn some karma it might as well be me.

Re:I for one... (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716923)

Well I'm sure Gabe Newell appreciates the sentiment, but what about the crap floating off Alaska?

Re:I for one... (4, Funny)

SQLGuru (980662) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716953)

There's a reason they are called Sperm Whales..........I'm just saying.

To quote Arnold J. Rimmer.. (4, Funny)

apodyopsis (1048476) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716845)

...."ALIENS!"

Re:To quote Arnold J. Rimmer.. (3, Funny)

mdm-adph (1030332) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717185)

Aye, it's obviously the gooey remains of a thousand QUAGAAARRR warriors.

It's the smog monster! (4, Funny)

BlueKitties (1541613) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716855)

Al-Gore warned you all that global warming would awaken man-bear-smogmonster, and now his dire warning has come to pass! Take shelter people of Earth, only Godzilla can save us now (assuming the Japanese don't kill the giant lizard who always saves them, God(zilla) knows why the hell they always try to kill the lizard who always saves their ass.)

Re:It's the smog monster! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717011)

I was going to suggest that *it* was the next incarnation of Algore...

What's all the fuss about? (4, Funny)

Seth Kriticos (1227934) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716863)

So you see there is a big, slimy thing floating in the water and you don't like it.. What do you do?

a, Take probes, issue some press reports and analyse it while letting in float around.
b, No nothing, let someone else deal with it.
c, Clean up the god damn ugly slime before it starts to eat Alaska, and analyse it later.
d, Make a documentary on how the big unidentified slimy thing ate Alaska and make profit with it.

Palin's report (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716867)

I can see it from my back porch!

CTHULU finally watched GamerZ (2, Informative)

Ralph Spoilsport (673134) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716875)

and puked.

Reading is FUNdamental! (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716877)

Let's see. RingTFA says "A mysterious glob of unknown material up to 12 miles long has appeared off Alaska's northern coast." Later, "spotted a long strand of the stuff and followed it for about 15 miles, shooting video from the air." Slashdot headline says "a 15 mile-long blob of unknown, "gooey", probably organic material"

Reading is FUNdamental!

Re:Reading is FUNdamental! (2, Informative)

jagilbertvt (447707) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717035)

Except that it is moving with the current. It probably moved 3 miles in the time it took him to go 15.

Re:Reading is FUNdamental! (2, Insightful)

Chris Burke (6130) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717569)

Right, that's the obvious interpretation of the difference in numbers in the article, and thus the slashdot summary is wrong.

Just don't taste it! (1)

cowbutt (21077) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716883)

It might be The Stuff [imdb.com] !

Scandal (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28716889)

Could this be the scandal that led Palin to retire?

Well, duh... (1)

Deadstick (535032) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716901)

...Steve McQueen froze it and global warming thawed it.

rj

A Blob... (1)

ptelligence (685287) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716903)

...quick, build a bridge to it!

Re:A Blob... (2, Funny)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717353)

Huh? It's slimy, greasy and absolutely disgusting, so far so good, but it's neither a senator nor a lobbyist, so why bother?

blah (-1, Flamebait)

grub (11606) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716925)


It's Trig's placenta. Don't touch it, you'll become retarded too.

It's the stuff of Sarah Palin (1)

nmrtian (984245) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716939)

We all know what she's full of -- biological, gooey and stinky.

Slight Correction (5, Insightful)

jjleard (575385) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716957)

The article stated it was "up to 12 miles long" and that a team "followed it [by helicopter] for about 15 miles." Granted, the average digestee probably does not care if the blob devouring him is 12 or 15 miles long.

Re:Slight Correction (1)

areusche (1297613) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717061)

It's the Life of Pi island that doesn't eat Lemurs. Hopefully this only has an appitite for bad books that mystically made it onto the NY Times best sellers list.

Whale sneezed (3, Funny)

Shadow of Eternity (795165) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716969)

We're done here.

Palin knew! (5, Funny)

narrowhouse (1949) | more than 5 years ago | (#28716987)

She knew she couldn't do what had to be done as the Governor so she resigned in order to put together a rag tag group of misfits with the skills necessary to save the world.

One Family, One helicopter, One Mission.

Coming this summer! The Palins Hunt in...

Die Nature Die!

Re:Palin knew! (4, Funny)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717375)

So it's her or the blob... hmm... is this kinda like "Alien vs. Predator in Bizarro world"? Whoever loses, we win?

Palin's Blog (5, Funny)

Sylvak (967868) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717039)

She was advised to create a Blog, but heard blob

Power vacuum (5, Funny)

gksmith (1277536) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717089)

The power vacuum left by Palin is attracting all kinds of scum.

Looks like whale blood to me (1)

phatslaab (1046786) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717091)

Then again, I'm in Philadelphia and have no idea what whale blood looks like....but it looks like it should be whale blood.

Re:Looks like whale blood to me (2, Informative)

Tenebrousedge (1226584) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717405)

Really? [google.com]

Then again, I'm from Alaska. Maybe there are a bunch of gray, gooey, congealed whales up here, and I've never noticed.

Grey Goo? (1)

TinBromide (921574) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717129)

It ate a goose, could be the start of a biological grey-goo scenario.

It's a mass of dead penguins (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717139)

Yes boys, this is Linux after one too many proprietary blobs were stuffed into his cloaca. According to experts the body appears to have been dead for years and proprietary blobs and corporate patches were holding it together until now. On the other hand a beloved Linux apologist under the name of rms reports that he didn't notice any foul smell last week and suspects Intel could be the murderer.
We will keep you informed.

I can Identify the Blob (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717151)

It's Sarah Palin's career, which has been completely taken over by pollution.

You can't advocate the levels of pollution that Sarah Palin does without yourself turning in to a large blob of the stuff.

Put a hot wire in it... (1)

MiniMike (234881) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717177)

If it screams, get the heck out of there...

Prehistoric Bio-matter (2, Interesting)

stickrnan (1290752) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717193)

My completely scientifically unfounded guess would be that it's what's left of some sort of bio-matter that was trapped long ago and was pushed up by warming waters or released from receding ice.

2012 (1)

DaMP12000 (710387) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717195)

But it's not 2012 yet!

Gloab Warming? (1)

rea1l1 (903073) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717227)

Global warming causes polar ice caps melting leading to the release of previously undiscovered materials into the environment.

I LOVE THE FUTURE THIS IS AWESOME! Why didn't you guys tell me the future would be so neat?

What new bacterial and viral infectious systems lie within this Alaskan Blob? I welcome thee to the Dot of Slash.

godzilla (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717229)

placenta...

Wow good thing..... (0, Troll)

i_want_you_to_throw_ (559379) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717235)

that Sarah Palin was looking at Russia from her porch and spotted this!

The Blob meets global warming (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717247)

I knew leaving The Blob in Alaska was a bad idea. Makes for a great sequel though.

Sorry, (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717249)

I knew I shouldn't have had those beans.

Can that get into the water supply? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717259)

I know it sounds stupid, but when I replaced the filler valve on one of my toilets last Friday, there was this brown goo at the bottom of the filler tank and I have no idea what it was or how it got there.

I had to scoop it out with a spatula and it was thick and brown and seems to have turned all the bolts that are holding the tank completely black. I've never seen that before. The stuff had a musty odor to it, kinda like what you would smell in a damp basement.

Then, yesterday, my son's toilet was making noise so I replaced his filler valve and there was no goo in his tank. He lives about 15 miles away from me.

It's ... (1)

ArsenneLupin (766289) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717319)

... The Blob [imdb.com] !

Emergency response ... (0, Troll)

golodh (893453) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717321)

Has anyone checked gov. Palin's whereabouts lately? Considering the article, that's what I would do first.

Cue the music (2, Funny)

stry_cat (558859) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717337)

Beware of the blob, it creeps
And leaps and glides and slides
Across the floor
Right through the door
And all around the wall
A splotch, a blotch
Be careful of the blob

-The Five Blobs

Not surprised (0, Offtopic)

navygeek (1044768) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717369)

It's not even remotely surprising that people decided to start with the Palin jokes. It's just sad and pathetic that the overwhelming majority of you that made the 'jokes' weren't funny in the slightest, made 'retard' comments, or placenta jokes. For 'nerds'/'geeks', a lot of you are just unoriginal and uninspired.

Mating season (1)

RemoWilliams84 (1348761) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717431)

Maybe it came from a herd(?) of whales during mating season with a severe lack of females.

Tag SarahPalin (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717453)

The latest reports appear to confirm that this is Sarah Palin's slimy trail. Please tag the article "SarahPalin".

files (1)

Atreide (16473) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717461)

what does Fox Mulder says about that ?

The Raft (4, Interesting)

lymond01 (314120) | more than 5 years ago | (#28717481)

Short story/short film in Stephen King's Creepshow 2. These campers swim out to a fixed raft in the middle of a lake and some goop, not unlike the goop in the article, follows them. One person touches it, and it leeches up her arm and pulls her in. This sort of continues for the next 10 minutes or so until there hero and heroine make out. It's Stephen King so it doesn't end well.

My point? Don't touch it. And don't let it touch you.

Creepshow 2 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717549)

"It's pitch black when it hits ice and it kind of discolors the ice and hangs off of it," Brower said. He saw some jellyfish tangled up in the stuff, and someone turned in what was left of a dead goose -- just bones and feathers -- to the borough's wildlife department.

Wow, this is exactly like The Raft from Creepshow 2. If I remember right the blob in the lake ate a bird too!

Whatever it is....it can't be good. =/ (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28717591)

My money is on the possibility that it's the "blob" from the movie. Anybody remember that movie? Scared the heck outta me.

Something tells me Alaska is screwed....big time! =/

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