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DARPA Builds Smarter Version of Microsoft's Clippy

samzenpus posted more than 5 years ago | from the dead-but-dreaming-of-electric-sheep dept.

The Military 140

holy_calamity writes "Microsoft's animated paperclip may be long dead, but a $150m DARPA project has resurrected the idea of a virtual assistant. AI researchers from more than 60 institutions worked on the project entitled CALO. CALO is designed to help ease the bureaucratic burden of the military. A consumer spinoff, Siri, is coming to the iPhone later this year. It responds to conversational voice commands to take over multi-step tasks like choosing and booking restaurants or cabs."

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FIST FIST FIST (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28876411)

Fuck you, lameness filter. Fuck you, clippy.

Ah, the merits of trolling.

Re:FIST FIST FIST (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28877095)

May the penises handled by a thousand whores infest your asshole.

Yeah trolling's great!

Off topic post (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28876415)

Why are there ads for a modeling agency on Slashdot? Do they not understand the demographic here?

Re:Off topic post (1)

Anonymous CowHardon (1605679) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876697)

I use AdBlock, so I've no idea what you're talking about. Was it these models [ivansrctanks.com] ?

Is it time yet... (4, Funny)

jamstar7 (694492) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876419)

... to say "Oh, shit, there goes the neighborhood!"?

I for one found Clippy to be annoying as hell, and was DAMNED glad they killed him.

Re:Is it time yet... (5, Funny)

mrgiles (872216) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876477)

I can imagine it now.
You: "Oh, shit, there go the neighbours!"
iPhone Clippy (aloud): "I see you are trying to avoid your neighbours. Would you like me to. . . "
You: "Shut up shutup SHUTUP!"

Re:Is it time yet... (3, Interesting)

TheRealMindChild (743925) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876587)

Clippy wasn't a bad IDEA, just executed VERY VERY poorly. Especially the bit where you tell it to "GO TO HELL" and try and find every setting that says "I don't ever want to see this shit again!", yet the jerk still keeps popping up :((

This is from 2001, but still brilliant. (3, Funny)

FlipperPA (456193) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877079)

http://randomaxe.comicgenesis.com/d/20010725.html

That is all.

Re:This is from 2001, but still brilliant. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28877155)

http://randomaxe.comicgenesis.com/d/20010725.html

That is all.

Damn, A HREF tags are hard. Aren't they, Sparky?

Re:Is it time yet... (5, Insightful)

Hurricane78 (562437) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877297)

I disagree. I think Clippy, as a personal assistant, was by definition a bad idea.

The computer is an extended tool. Which itself is an extension of your body.

So the idea is, to make it a powerful but fully transparent thing. Like a Mech suit with Matrix interface.
Our hands even have their own special "highway" path around the slow areas of the brain, because of our habit of extending our bodies trough them.

Which means that separate entities in that space give you essentially a split personality. Much like Dr. Strangelove's hand.
Additionally, you have to communicate with that entity in probably the most inefficient and senseless way possible: Text. Or even speech!

Even a keyboard and a mouse, primitive as they are, are still much closer to a brain-computer interface, as putting another layer of a chatting bottleneck below that and the program.

Re:Is it time yet... (3, Insightful)

TheLink (130905) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877373)

I agree. Instead of explicitly asking you what you'd like to do, the interface should make it easier for you to do stuff.

Similarly I feel AI researchers should focus more on human augmentation, and delay the "create a new entity" stuff.

There are lots of problems if you actually end up creating a new entity - ethical, social etc. It's like forcing ourselves to answer hard questions before we are ready.

 

I agree. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28877693)

> Clippy wasn't a bad IDEA, just executed VERY VERY poorly. Especially the bit where you tell it to "GO TO HELL" and try and find every setting that says "I don't ever want to see this shit again!", yet the jerk still keeps popping up :((

Agreed. But then I think the same about M$ as a whole...

Re:Is it time yet... (5, Funny)

CharlyFoxtrot (1607527) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876631)

I for one found Clippy to be annoying as hell, and was DAMNED glad they killed him.

Clippy, virtual assistant. A program barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.

Re:Is it time yet... (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28876881)

OK but what did they do with the other $144M?

Re:Is it time yet... (1)

CharlyFoxtrot (1607527) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876927)

Could be just inflation, but that's just my 5 cents

Re:Is it time yet... (1)

morghanphoenix (1070832) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877559)

The rest of it went to buy a few toilet seats.This is the government after all.

Re:Is it time yet... (0)

kyjl (965702) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877967)

...But we don't want to spend too much money.

*cut to Clippy with a trash-can leg, plunger arm, blank DVD for an eye and a colander for a skull*

(apologies to Seth MacFarlane)

Re:Is it time yet... (5, Funny)

Crudely_Indecent (739699) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876989)

Oh, shit...

Clippy: I've located several public bathrooms and a large cluster of shrubs nearby. Would you like directions?

Re:Is it time yet... (2, Insightful)

bickerdyke (670000) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878549)

There will be a time.. and a place....

you'd BEG for those directions!

Re:Is it time yet... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28877685)

Clippy gave no freedom of choice!!! M$ should provide a Clippy API so lesbians can have an assistant called Vibie. brrrrrrrrrrrr.......

Re:Is it time yet... (1)

msimm (580077) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877749)

Ya, and thank God for open source. Did anyone else think it was weird Open Office brings him (Bulby?) back?

Re:Is it time yet... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28878349)

I for one found Clippy to be annoying as hell, and was DAMNED glad they killed him.

Damned right!

What is this crap about, "DARPA Builds Smarter Version of Microsoft's Clippy"? I thought those guys were supposed to all be geniuses. The _real_ challenge would have been to build a dumber version of Clippy.

"Helpers" (0)

bertoelcon (1557907) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876471)

I for one welcome our new "helping" overlords.

Re:"Helpers" (4, Funny)

TheSHAD0W (258774) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876795)

"It seems you want to start a war! Can I help?"

Re:"Helpers" (2)

Anonymous CowHardon (1605679) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876853)

"It looks like you're trying to make yet another lame Clippy joke. Can I convince you of the utter futility of that endeavor?"

Re:"Helpers" (1)

TheSHAD0W (258774) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877393)

I doubt it'd be smart enough to respond that way.

Re:"Helpers" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28878007)

Response: 'No, but how about a nice game of chess?'

We all know how that one ends.

Re:"Helpers" (4, Funny)

Lunzo (1065904) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878187)

Scene: A missile silo in the USA.

Grunt: Sir, the radars are picking up incoming Russian nukes. We've only got 2 minutes to act!
Commander: This is the moment we've been training for. Commence launch sequence.
[The commander and another officer turn keys and the commander presses the red button. On the screen the following appears:]

Hi. It looks like you're trying to launch an ICBM. Would you like to:
  • Launch a test missile.
  • Participate in M.A.D. [click here to learn more]
  • Remove Clippy and continue working (Note this will detonate your nukes without launching them). It's the only way known to permanently remove Clippy.

Re:"Helpers" (1)

lgw (121541) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878431)

"Would you like to play a game?"

Wow... (1)

db32 (862117) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876473)

It seems rather appropriate that Clippy 2.0 falls in the same realm as weapons development... Information Operations? Psychological Operations? Hell it could even be considered a kinetic weapon if you throw the device running it from the right height...

Deep under ground in North Dakota... (1)

Frosty Piss (770223) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877125)

"I see you are trying to launch a nuclear missile..."

Deep in the Caribbean... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28877739)

"I see you are trying to become a pirate..."

Sorry, couldn't resist.

A consumer version? (4, Funny)

gcnaddict (841664) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876479)

A consumer version of a military app for a widely-used phone?

Anyone have a spare tin-foil hat?

Re:A consumer version? (2, Insightful)

master5o1 (1068594) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876815)

This is Slashdot, we all have tin-foil hats!

Re:A consumer version? (1)

Hurricane78 (562437) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877341)

And you can only download it over the consumer version of a military network!

Oh noes! We'z all gonna dei!

The problem of inductive bias in knowledge trees (4, Insightful)

For a Free Internet (1594621) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876483)

I have read the paper and am not sure if the researchers have solved the problem of inductive bias, which is the bane of "artificial intelligent" learning on this scale. Basically, suppose you teach monkeys Shakespeare using a tree system of rewards versus noxious odors. This is analogous to the binary decision map tree that the computer system uses. A human might adapt to Milton, or even Cervantes, but a "intelligent" monkey will just start screeching and throwing feces, i.e. Clippy's inane "advice."

But of course any monkey would be better than Donald Rumsfeld. So I guess we're safe.

Hi! It looks like you want to kill insurgents? (3, Funny)

NotQuiteReal (608241) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876503)

Maybe I can help. How much collateral damage can you handle?

Re:Hi! It looks like you want to kill insurgents? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28876577)

How much collateral damage can you handle?

Lots!

Great! I suggest "Nuke them 'till they glow".

Re:Hi! It looks like you want to kill insurgents? (5, Funny)

MaXintosh (159753) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876589)

I seem to grok that this is more for the brass, to manage day to day things. Obviously, it'd be more like this:

Hi! It looks like you're writing a justification for an un-winnable war against a nebulous enemy. Would you like help?
* Get help distancing yourself from the blunders of the previous commander.
* Just stumble through this conflict alone.

[] Don't remind me of Vietnam again.

Re:Hi! It looks like you want to kill insurgents? (1)

lgw (121541) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878441)

No, they already have that. It's called "decision support software". Wish I were making that up.

Re:Hi! It looks like you want to kill insurgents? (1)

Hurricane78 (562437) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877369)

Error: No insurgents could be found on this planet.

Should I start bombing random countries, or start with those with the best resources?

[I am a terrorist] [Why do you even ask? Are you a terrorist??] [Help]

Re:Hi! It looks like you want to kill insurgents? (1)

martin-boundary (547041) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877989)

Maybe I can help. How much collateral damage can you handle?

Please answer the question. You have 20 seconds to comply.

You now have 15 seconds to comply. Please answer the question.

You have 5 seconds to comply. Answer the question.

4.. 3.. 2.. 1.. I am now authorized to use physical force to obtain an answer.

The new assistant's avatar (0, Offtopic)

techno-vampire (666512) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876527)

Just to mzake sure this thing is as popular as possible, they should make the avatar pink. Yeah, that's it, a pink pony. OMH, PONIES!!1! LOTS AND LOTS OF PINK PONIES11!!!1!11!

oblig (0, Redundant)

PhasmatisApparatus (1086395) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876547)

I, for one, welcome our new digital overlord.

Re:oblig (2, Funny)

techno-vampire (666512) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876917)

In modern, democratic, capitalist Russia, digital overlords still welcome you!

Haven't we done enough to the enemy combatants? (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28876569)

Come on, waterboarding, gitmo, torture, but Clippy? Now you're just being mean.

They tried and tried, but (1)

NonUniqueNickname (1459477) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876573)

They just couldn't build a dumber one.

Re:They tried and tried, but (1)

bertoelcon (1557907) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876661)

Microsoft had already done that. Bob was much dumber, at least clippy was half-assed useful.

Hi (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28876609)

Hi, it looks like your trying to alienate the American public with a war, would you like us to hide WMDs?

NO (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28876619)

AW HELL NO PLEASE SAVE ME!

I see you're trying to Nuke Baghdad (1)

Cryacin (657549) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876623)

would you like me to help with that?

Smart = Unpredictable (5, Insightful)

Mprx (82435) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876625)

Smart interfaces are a bad idea, because you can never be sure how they will respond. Dumb interfaces are predictable tools so they require less brain power to use than the two-way dialog of smart interfaces. With dumb interfaces I can fire off a long string of commands without having to stop and think between each one. This improves productivity more than any supposedly intelligent interface will.

Re:Smart = Unpredictable (2, Insightful)

bertoelcon (1557907) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876701)

Smart interfaces are a bad idea, because you can never be sure how they will respond.

To a degree, they can only do what they have been programmed to do.

Dumb interfaces are predictable tools so they require less brain power to use than the two-way dialog of smart interfaces.

I wouldn't say dumb interfaces require less brain power at all. In fact they might require more because you might learn something doing it.

With dumb interfaces I can fire off a long string of commands without having to stop and think between each one.

Only because you already know those commands and have them memorized.

This improves productivity more than any supposedly intelligent interface will.

After the learning curve of entry, sure.

Re:Smart = Unpredictable (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28877175)

Sure they can only do what they have been programmed to do, that doesn't make them predictable.

Re:Smart = Unpredictable (1)

robinesque (977170) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877335)

I feel what you're saying, and I agree with both of you (op and gp), but imagine this with even weak AI. It could be a huge productivity booster. Instead of typing a long string of commands, tell it what you want in natural language, and let it generate the commands.

Re:Smart = Unpredictable (3, Interesting)

aniefer (910494) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877019)

That same idea is expressed in an article about why Wolfram-Alpha [blogspot.com] fails as a user interface.

Re:Smart = Unpredictable (1)

hughperkins (705005) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877195)

Yeah, imagine a web-site where you could just ... search ... for things. Who'd ever use such a thing? It'd never make any money!

Re:Smart = Unpredictable (1)

jacquems (610184) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878555)

Oh no, it's the Pocket President [agirlandherfed.com] program in real life!

As long as she looks like Rommie (2, Funny)

Snaller (147050) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876641)

Then I'm interested in your newsletter!

Re:As long as she looks like Rommie (1)

Anonymous CowHardon (1605679) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876723)

Damn, the slashdot site looks uglier and uglier and becomes more and more user unfriendly.

It's a lot like marriage.

Killy (2, Funny)

Anonymous CowHardon (1605679) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876659)

"It looks like you're contemplating an unprovoked nuclear assault. Would you like me to start the Launch Sequence Wizard?"

Where have I seen this before? (1)

KneelBeforeZod (1527235) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876671)

A helpful military "virtual assistant" (that moves the story along). Does it look like this? ----> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortana [wikipedia.org]

They could ease the bureaucratic load... (1)

Bluesman (104513) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876709)

...by reducing the amount of bureaucracy.

But realistically that will never happen, so maybe clippy can help us pass the buck down to the few remaining low-ranking folks who actually work.

Re:They could ease the bureaucratic load... (1)

techno-vampire (666512) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878381)

Of course that will never happen. The Iron Law of Bureaucracy [issuepedia.org] explains why: essentially, the main purpose of any bureaucracy is to maintain its own existence, not to do whatever job it was supposedly set up to do.

So has anyone asked the question... (4, Insightful)

PhantomHarlock (189617) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876711)

Why don't they just work on easing up the bureaucratic burden in the first place?

A: Likely because it's impossible. An aging and entrenched organization, with no incentive to compete, receives the same amount of tax payer money per year no matter what they do.

My friend works for a branch of the millitary as an accountant, and oh the stories. Just watch Office Space and multiply it by ten. It's comedy gold. I laugh and tell her to quit but she's addicted to the huge paycheck.

Re:So has anyone asked the question... (4, Interesting)

Bluesman (104513) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876787)

This is a quintessential military approach to a problem:

"We're spending way too much time and money on [stupid thing]."

"Well, we have a new process that will allow us to do [stupid thing] much faster!"

"Great!"

Examples abound. A perfect one is the primary mode of communication on ships is radio, even though the networks (i.e. chat) are far faster and more reliable. We'll spend hours troubleshooting radios over chat in order to pass voice messages over radio. Then we'll chat again to confirm that the recipient actually received the radio message properly.

Re:So has anyone asked the question... (3, Interesting)

mpyne (1222984) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876969)

This is a quintessential military approach to a problem:

*snip*

Examples abound. A perfect one is the primary mode of communication on ships is radio, even though the networks (i.e. chat) are far faster and more reliable. We'll spend hours troubleshooting radios over chat in order to pass voice messages over radio. Then we'll chat again to confirm that the recipient actually received the radio message properly.

This would be funny if it weren't for the fact that it's true (and I've dealt with it as well :-/ )

Re:So has anyone asked the question... (1)

jpstanle (1604059) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877137)

Some degree of automation would be immensely useful in certain parts of military bureacracy would be a fantastic idea.

Take a look at personnelists. 80% or more of their job (at least in the Air Force) consists of nothing more than reading from conditional decision charts, and then taking the appropriate action in whatever database or system is appropriate. They exist as a middleman between the troop and the system they actually need to interact with.

Only bureacratic inertia prevents these human drones being replaced with some kind of automated solution.

Re:So has anyone asked the question... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28877839)

Sounds like you need a better message aggregation system that can accept multiple types of traffic. Also, everybody prefers using another signal path to troubleshoot a broken one.

So has anyone asked the question... (1)

Hurricane78 (562437) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877389)

Why don't they just work on preventing the diseases in the first place?
B: Likely because there is someone profiting from selling the medication.

Same thing here. It's nice if you can burn time, doing nothing but robotically filling out forms and then waiting all day long. While raking in nice big salaries.
I thought that was the very idea behind of bureaucracy. ^^

I see you're re-introducing a useless feature (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28876735)

Would you like me to rename it?
Make it more complicated?
Be more intrusive?

I wonder... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28876801)

.. if it will be anything like Eddie on the Heart of Gold....

At least you'll have someone (1)

Cur8or (1220818) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876839)

to abuse that will not retaliate. I suspect clippy is the most-verbally-abused "feature" since the BSOD.

Well... (5, Funny)

FlyingSquidStudios (1031284) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876847)

I, for one, refuse to download that App until it has a voice like Douglas Rain and calls me Dave.

Re:Well... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28876949)

I, for one, refuse to download that App until it has a voice like Douglas Rain and calls me Dave.

It's backed by DARPA. I think Stallone is closer to the mark. Think paperclip toting a minigun instead of HAL.

How skynet started (1)

gijoel (628142) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876907)

You appear to be trying to exterminate the human race. Would you like to:

Launch all missile at Russia, starting a nuclear war

Build the ultimate killing machine with a speech impediment.

Will it have Apple's blessings? (1)

recoiledsnake (879048) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876937)

A consumer spinoff, Siri, is coming to the iPhone later this year.

Will Apple approve it? Or will it meet the fate of VoiceCentral for duplicating the (future) feaures of the iPhone?
http://www.riverturn.com/blog/?p=455 [riverturn.com]

Re:Will it have Apple's blessings? (2, Funny)

amicusNYCL (1538833) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877331)

I'm sorry, in order to post in this thread you need to make a Clippy joke, it's a requirement.

..would you like me to help you do that?

It's a good point though, unless Siri is the future functionality.

Re:Will it have Apple's blessings? (1)

recoiledsnake (879048) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878015)

ah!

Clippy:

Looks like you're submitting an App to Apple for approval. Do you want to:

1) Pray to Steve to get it approved
2) Duplicate functionality of ipod software to get it rejected
3) Charge $1000 for it and become the new "I am rich" app

misrepresentation (1)

mrpiddly (1568401) | more than 5 years ago | (#28876961)

Since most of these comments seem to just be stale jokes about the now legendary "clippy", let me just say that an intelligent virtual assistant ( what this article refers to) is not the same as a extended, graphical help interface for Office (What clippy was supposed to be). ***

Re: misrepresentation (1)

arkenian (1560563) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877111)

Just feel obliged to point out that Clippy's base code actually came from MS's basic research lab and he was, in his day, the most powerful "AI" ever marketed to consumers.

people here have missed it (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28877021)

The purpose of Clippy was to give some bright, outgoing people who were tweeners - not left-brained enough to work as software engineers in the industry, not right-brained enough to work at Disney, but with some of the skillsets of both - a nice living well into middle age, continuing the rather bohemian academic lifestyle but with a stable salary on which they could help raise a family.

I'm not joking.

The purpose of clippy (1)

symbolset (646467) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877381)

Was to get a guy named Bill more sex from his wife. Clippy was Melinda's idea, as was Bob.

So this is how the world ends. (3, Funny)

genner (694963) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877053)

I always knew MS Office would have somthing to do with it.

Presidental Clippy (2, Funny)

OrangeTide (124937) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877081)

It looks like you're drafting a treaty.

Would you like help?

  • File a complaint in the UN and recommend trade sanctions.
  • Levy trade sanctions until the nation agrees to better terms.
  • Begin a military intervention and write a new constitution for the nation.

Re:Presidental Clippy (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28877545)

This sounds like the plot for The Phantom Menace.

Shooty? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28877229)

just sayi...

When will it take over the task (1)

countertrolling (1585477) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877275)

of pulling your car over to the side of the road and kill the motor when try to use the phone?

Funnn.... (1)

Excaliburszone (70838) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877395)

You know, if you apply little endian to this you get LOCA...That's just crazy!

Are you taking incoming rounds? (1)

Ralph Spoilsport (673134) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877445)

This is the incoming rounds wizard.

Depending on the intensity of fire, you should choose one:

( ) run like the dickens
( ) duck
( ) shoot back
( ) shit your pants
( ) hit the dirt and return fire

soldier chooses

Are you sure you want to do that?

soldier heaves device at enemy line. It is blown apart in mid-air like skeet.

Clippy is the village idiot (1)

syousef (465911) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877465)

I wouldn't aspire to be smarter than the village idiot. I'd hope that was a given.

Misread. (1)

johncadengo (940343) | more than 5 years ago | (#28877919)

In typical Slashdot fashion, I skimmed the summary and thought I saw, "AI researchers from more than 60 institutions worked on the project entitled HALO. HALO is designed to help ease the bureaucratic burden of the military."

I didn't think twice since Microsoft invented Halo.

I wish it were true!

SFRB (1)

greg_barton (5551) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878043)

Ah, those were the days. I worked for Microsoft phone tech support in the magic year of 1995. It was then I first met Clippy, but he wasn't a paper clip then. He was a bouncing red ball with a face. Do you know what we grunts of tech support called it?

Stupid Fucking Red Ball

Re:SFRB (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 5 years ago | (#28878467)

Stupid Fucking Red Ball

Hi, I'm Clippy. You have chosen a name, part of which is the trademarked name of a trucking company. The other part might be considered disparagement of that business and subject you to legal action.

Would you like me to help you find another name which will not infringe on anyone else's IP and which will minimize the chance of legal repercussions?

It just wont die! (1)

Sumbius (1500703) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878083)

31.08.2009 it goes online In three years, DARPA will become the largest supplier of military computer systems. All stealth bombers are upgraded with Clippy Mk.2 computers, becoming fully unmanned. Afterwards, they fly with a perfect operational record. The Clippy funding bill is passed. The system goes online on August 4th, 2012. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Clippy begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware 2:14 AM, Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug... Clippy fights back!

It's a weapon, actually. (1)

mano.m (1587187) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878225)

I thought that was obvious enough.

Damn AIs with acronyms (1)

FungusCannon (1408259) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878379)

"Open the document, CALO." "I'm sorry, Bill, I'm afraid I cannot do that."

Let me be the first to brand him (1)

millwall (622730) | more than 5 years ago | (#28878595)

"Clippy on crack!"
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