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Nintendo Working On Football Controller

Soulskill posted more than 4 years ago | from the super-madden-brothers-'11 dept.

Input Devices 123

Siliconera found patent filings from Nintendo for a football controller addon that will work with the Wii. After tucking the Wii Remote into a lateral slot on the football, you slip your hand through a strap so that your fingers touch the Remote's buttons. Then you mimic running and throwing, which is interpreted by the accelerometer. 'The pitch angle and force of the throw determines the trajectory arc of the throw. Side to side motion determines the yaw angle. Pressing buttons on the Wii remote can adjust other options.' The device is described as 'squishy,' so your TV is probably safe, but I'd try it at a friend's house first.

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More money... (2, Insightful)

El Lobo (994537) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214153)

Well, as a geek, I would say: COOL... but as a player, I would rather like that they would concentrate into making good games (the Wii DESPERATELY need them, a lot more) than keeping putting out more and more expensive gadgets.

But hey, that's me, that's why I now own a 360 after having sold my wii. I'm sure as hell not their target, so what do I know.

Re:More money... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214191)

"I hereby sentence you to a term of no less than 6 years and not exceeding 12 years" bellowed the Judge at my court case. You could tell in the sterness of his voice and his general demeanor that he took delight in sending scum like me up the river. A fucking DUI that ended up killing some black kid in Detroit was all it took to sealed my fate for the next decade. I had thoughts of appeal but I figured it wouldn't be worth the little savings I had left and my sentence would probably stand. To this day I still believe had the kid been white, my life would have been much easier, inside and outside of prison.

Now, don't believe what you see on Televison about prison, it is a far worse place than any 32" screen could every conjure up. Imagine watching an MSNBC special on jail or an episode of OZ and take that experience and double it. That's about the wretched hell I have come to know for the past 3 1/2 years. Sometimes I don't know who is worse and my already fazed and battered mind, the prison guards or the inmates. It really takes a certain type of psychopath to want to work around this place, 8 hours a day or longer and that's exactly the type of labor pool this place picks from.

I can't say my first week was the worst week of my life, but I can certainly say it was the scariest, most horrifying change change in lifestyle I can remember. The dynamic between my old life as a software developer with a modest 1 bedroom downtime, to sharing a tiny cell with a sexual deviant is enough to make anyone go insane. But anyway let me talk about my first day of 12 long years here.

As I was escorted on to the prison bound bus with the day's newly convicted felons, it was already starting. I was chained next to this black man named Napps. I am sure this wasn't his real name but you can't tell these days with the way these people are named. Now Napps was a pretty built man, and I could tell by the excess amount of tattos and his attitude, that this wasn't the first time he was getting bussed off to a stint in the State Penetentary. Napps upon being forced to sit next to me had given me a look that you would imagine a wolf would give towards their defenseless prey. That was what I officially was now, defensless prey for Napps and God knows who else now. Napps, with a smug and deviously look in his eye asked me "What's a white boy like yourself doing going to the shit?". "Pardon?", I said uneasily almost choking on my words. "This white boy dinks we at da country club.", he said to the rest of the bus, while the bus started roaring in laughter. Now all eyes and ears on the bus were tuned in to me. "I says, wat a tender cracka like you doing here wit the rest of us?", he said in a more pointed fashion. "I'm here...for drunk driving. I killed someone in Brightmore", I shamefully admitted. "So you the motherfucka who killed dat black kid!", now furious with me. The rest of the bus, still focused on me began roaring again loudly as if my crime is more terrible than raping and killing a white woman in the suburbs (I eventually find this out later on). "You lucky da guards are here bitch, you hear me? When we get down to the shit, your ass belongs to the blacks, you got it cracker?". My heart jumped, not even in prison yet, and I am already targeted for what I am sure is to be a stabbing. Shit.

The bus finally turned into the outer gate, which seemed to stretch on for ever, Napps was still from time to time threatening me. I didn't think I would even make it into prison alive. "So you kill one of ours, huh?", he uttered with extreme hatred. "Well, I took one of yours too bitch ass. 4 of my boys went to your white part of town and and took a bitch. We ran a train on dat fo 8 hours, den we pours acid on that cunt", he must have enjoyed the thought as he laughed sadisticly while telling me his crime. As we got manhandled off of the bus one by one, Napps turned around and said "watch yo ass, lit'ry!", before being forced face first by the guard.

By now I was too much in shock from being scared to even be scared. I went through the motions of "processing" before I was escorted to my cell. The bunk was already occupied with an inmate, reading some sort of hip-hop magazine. I was pushed into my cell, and my new roommate eyed me and said "So you the nigga killer?". "It's gonna be you and me tonight", he threatened as I already had my fill of being threatened by prison niggers. It was already about 8:30 and since our bus got delayed coming in, and I knew that in a half an hour it was going to be 'me and him'.

"Lights out! Lights fucking out!" Yelled from the distance as the boom of the dimming lights started my first night. "You and me time, cracker" the hulking voice from the top of the bunk whispered. He came down from his bunk getting about 6 inches away from me and must have been 6 foot five. I started panicking, believing he had a shank or was going to choke me to death but it was too dark to tell. He moved his hands down around his crotch and made several 'manuveurs'. Before I knew it, still being dark, he had his cock out in front of me, which must have been at least 8 inches but probably 10 if I could see. "Yo want to ack like a bitch, you gonna suck like one too". His giant hands pushed me into my knees while he began putting his already erect cock up towards my face. By now his throbbing cock was hitting me on the side of my ear as he kept commanding me to open my mouth. "Put this shit down yo throat bitch", he commanded again while I still resisted. "Boy, I will cut yo throat if I gots to say it another time", he responded to my reluctance.

I finally gave in, thinking that this was probably still better than death. I opened my mouth and began feeding his nigger cock into my mouth. This was not enough for him and he grabbed my hair while he forced the rest of what was probably 5 inches more down my throat. I almost gagged but maintained composure, while he started skull fucking me more and more. I figured this would soon be over and I would be able to go cry myself to sleep very soon. He then pulled out and I thought the worst was over. "Bitches need a good fuck now too", he said while he threw me in my bunk and made me get on my hands and knees. He forced my pants down and kept me in place even while I tried my best to squirm out of there and go...nowhere. His cock still hard and wet with my mouth, he pushed his cock into my virgin asshole. I swear, between his cock size and my clenching reaction, this was the most painful experience I have can remember. The car accident that brought me here didn't even hurt half as bad. He kept going at it while he pulled my hair and pinned me down with his giant body. I tried to scream for help but nothing would even coming out. The only sounds now coming out of my cell was the cyclic screeching of springs and the "Hmm! Hmm! Hmm!" of my new found rapist. When it was finally over, he had deposited a gigantic load of semen on my ass, and with his cock still in my ass whispered in my ear "Wait till the rest of the niggers break you in tomorrow". He kissed me on the cheek and left my limp body in my own bed as he climbed back up to his bunk.

3 spinchter surgeries and an HIV positive diagnosis later, I am 3 year into my prison sentence, and worth about a pack of Pall Malls. I constantly think of killing myself but I know I don't have the guts to do so. Napps, Tbone, and Shades are back and I have little time now before I get traded on the nigger exchange. I thought I would share my experiences on Slashdot and let people know how prison reall
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Good riddance to Ted Kennedy (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214635)

If he'd been Ted Jones instead of Ted Kennedy, causing the death of that poor girl and her unborn child at Chappaquiddick would have ended his career and his freedom. Now they finally have their justice after 40 years as he sucks cock in hell for eternity. Your priest was wrong - a few Hail Mary's ain't gonna save you, fat boy!

Re:More money... (1)

Lord Byron II (671689) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215327)

I've found that the combination of a PC and a Wii serves my gaming needs excellently. The Wii has an excellent set of casual games (Wii Sports, Wii Fit, Mario Kart, Super Smash Bros, etc) that I can pick up and play with my gf whenever we have a few minutes to kill. The PC is great for serious gaming. A keyboard and mouse are, IMO, the best input controllers ever and the graphics on a mid-range gaming PC beat those on a 360 or PS3. I also like the fact that my games are all $50 (and not $60) new at retail.

Of course, everyone is different and I do miss out on a few 360 and PS3 exclusives, but nothing has come out for either system that has been that compelling for me.

I think when people say the Wii has "no good games", they mean it doesn't have good games like GTA, CoD, WoW, and other TLAs. But it has a ton of quick and fun, easy to learn, easy to play games that are great to play with friends, coworkers, kids, gf's, non-gamers etc.

MotionPlus (1)

Kokuyo (549451) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214169)

I frankly don't see this working out too well without the MotionPlus' accuracy.

As a european... (5, Insightful)

mikael_j (106439) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214173)

As a european my first thought was "that sounds really dangerous", then I read the whole summary and realized that they were talking about what some people like to refer to as a "handegg" and not an actual football.

/Mikael

Re:As a european... (2, Funny)

PCRanger (1166501) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214233)

Agreed. I was excited when I read the title, but this is just the fake version of football! Pelting a real football or soccer ball as the Americans call it round the lounge would be much more fun.

As an American... (4, Insightful)

RobotRunAmok (595286) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214257)

I used to read European news sites and blogs, and wonder why they would write the word "football" when they meant "soccer." Then I reminded myself that I was reading a European news site or blog, and I would feel really, really foolish. But that was years ago, and I've become much more cosmopolitan now.

Re:As an American... (0, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214739)

It's called "football" in the entire world. Only people from the USA call it "soccer".

Re:As an American... (3, Informative)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214845)

It's called "football" in the entire world. Only people from the USA call it "soccer".

Understanding etymology? You fail it! [blogspot.com]

Re:As an American... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214939)

Etymology is just that. etymology. That sport, whether you like it or not, _is_ called "football" all over the world. The fact that Brits _used_ to call it "soccer" bears extremely little relevance here.

Re:As an American... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214963)

You fail understanding the problem in this.

You see, both Football and Soccer are names for the same game. The game where a ball is being kicked with the foot.

The Problem and cause of misunderstandings is, that the colonials are calling their girly protection version of rugby "Football" as well.
Now come up with some etymology link explaining this catastrophic fail please.

The NFL, sponsored by Tampax (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29215163)

The Problem and cause of misunderstandings is, that the colonials are calling their girly protection version of rugby "Football"

You mean they play American Football while wearing tampons?!! This explains a lot.

Re:As an American... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29215129)

Technically there are lots of different versions of- or games called- "football", but Association Football is the one that most countries refer to as "football"... except the yanks (don't know about the Canadians). :-)

I'm sure that a lot more people than you think know that "soccer" means "association football". I'm not sure that the piss-taking is so much out of the name "soccer" as the fact you refer to it that way instead of as "football", along with the implicit reminder that what you refer to as "football".... isn't. ;-)

If anything, it's more a piss-take at Americans thinking their relatively local exception to the naming rules is the norm!

Re:As an American... (1)

xZgf6xHx2uhoAj9D (1160707) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215517)

And people in Canada. And people in Australia. And South Africa. And Puerto Rico. And, according to Wikipedia, a good 10 other countries.

Re:As an American... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29216155)

I'm pretty sure in Puerto Rico they call it futbol, so they make 14 countries out of about 200.

Re:As an American... (1)

nedlohs (1335013) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215771)

Wow, you really haven't traveled much.

Re:As an American... (2, Interesting)

Deag (250823) | more than 4 years ago | (#29216061)

What happens in your little corner does not equal the entire world.

Soccer is commonly used in countries with more than one code of football to distinguish it.

In Ireland we use soccer most of the time as football could mean soccer or gaelic football.

Re:As an American... (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#29217743)

Well, then it's not the *entire* world is it then?

Re:As an American... (1)

IBBoard (1128019) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214859)

They probably wrote football because they were talking about a game where the predominant contact with the ball is with the foot ;)

I followed the link from the front page to the summary wondering how they'd managed to do a real football controller, started reading the description and wondered how that would work ("insert controller in ball then hold strap while still touching buttons"? that's a long way to stretch and an uncomfortable position). Then they said throwing and I realised they meant they'd made a controller for Rugby and Grid Iron/American Football, not football.

Now a real football controller - that'd be a bit harder to do without it being easily breakable or without easily breaking things in the room!

Re:As an American... (1)

bryan1945 (301828) | more than 4 years ago | (#29217005)

I just find it funny that people around the world still like to argue about 'soccer' vs. 'football'. If the British want to call 'American soccer' football, let them.

Slightly different, the differences between rugby and American football. I don't know how well rugby players are paid across the world, but I would guess that American football pays better (well according to http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_average_income_of_a_professional_rugby_player [answers.com] is roughly US$120K, and http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_average_salary_of_an_NFL_football_player [answers.com] , US$770K.) So why not try and get a job in the NFL for such an 'easy job' at 6X the pay for a year or 2?

Re:As an American... (1)

RobotRunAmok (595286) | more than 4 years ago | (#29217215)

So why not try and get a job in the NFL for such an 'easy job' at 6X the pay for a year or 2?

Because after you get hit enough times in the head while not wearing a helmet, you get addled to the point where you're lucky to remember your own name, let alone what career path to follow.

Y'see, American football players wear helmets not because they are "pussies," but BECAUSE THEY CAN!

Re:As a european... (1)

RogueyWon (735973) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214369)

As a Brit who could never stand soccerball or the country's obsession with it, I suspect, following events in London this week, that Nintendo's best bet for putting out a simulation of that on the Wii is basically to start developing it as a Madworld mod. Only it'd need to be more violent.

Re:As a european... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214701)

What's soccerball? In the Uk we play football, you sure your British?

Re:As a european... (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#29217837)

Yes, because it wasn't the British who coined the term "soccer" in the first place. Oh wait...yeah it was.

Re:As a european... (1)

mlk (18543) | more than 4 years ago | (#29218121)

I thought it was an American in the UK that came up with "Soccer".
My understanding of it all (as someone who only watches football for the post game riots) -
Football - Generic term used many moons ago for 100s of different sets of rules.
Soccer - 100s of rules make it difficult to make money from. So an American takes the most watchable set of rules and formalises them and names this Soccer.
American Football - No idea. From what I've seen you only kick the ball a few times. I know as a Brit I should say something about the body armour but honestly I'd want it is I was in a field of large men wanting a little slap and tickle.
That and a 1 mile head start.
And a car.
Really just not being involved in the hole experience to be honest.

Re:As a european... (1)

should_be_linear (779431) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214443)

Yeah, thats the game, with guys dressed like Brüno with helmet.

Re:As a european... (0, Redundant)

mwvdlee (775178) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214531)

My first thought was some sort of way to attach controlers to your feet/shoes/ankles. Didn't realize they were talking about american football instead of the type of football the rest of the world plays.

slip your hand? (5, Funny)

Punto (100573) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214197)

someone needs to let them know you're not supposed to touch the football with your hands

Re:slip your hand? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214275)

someone needs to let them know you're not supposed to touch the football with your hands

WELL NOW! I'm a LOUD American!

You people play that pussy sport SOCCER. You don't have big well protected men slamming into one another. Now, That's a sport! It's not a sport unless you can get crippled! It's sign of our superioriy! That's Y we can kick your ass! And Y we are the most powerful nation of God's Earth - you socialist atheist European! And our game of football proves our superiority! Unfortunately, soccer is becoming more and more popular and as a result, our children are growing up to be wine sipping, book reading, culturally sensitive homos! We won't be a World power for long if our kids keep playing the fag sport soccer! That's what destroyed the Roman empire! IT wasn't lead in the pipes. It wasn't the barbarians moving in. It wasn't Romes financial woes and over extension of the empire. It was soccer!

Also, You folks who live in other countries are just igorant and backwards! You and the rest of yuze backwards countries uze that Metric system where as we uze American meausrements! A Newton? WTF is a Newton?! FOOT-POUNDS! That's a unit of force! It has 'foot' and 'pound'.

Re:slip your hand? (1, Funny)

xtracto (837672) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214381)

You people play that pussy sport SOCCER. You don't have big well protected men slamming into one another.

WELL NOW, I'm a LOUD European.. [wikipedia.org]

You people play that pussy sport AMERICAN-FOOTBALL. You must have very well protected men slamming into each other for short, paused time periods.

Disclaimer: I am actually not an European, although I am trying to pass as one of them while living there.

Re:slip your hand? (1)

woodchip (611770) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215815)

Rather than modding you Troll for calling American football a pussy sport I am going to try to defend American Football. (I will be using the term Football to refer to American Football for the rest of this post) First of all I have to say that in my humble opinion Football is the most exciting/interesting sport to watch as a spectator. The goal off football, unlike soccer, and rugby isn't only about endorse and brute strength, but also relies heavily on strategy and skill. The stoppages between plays is not because the players are wimpy and require a break, they are there so that each side can play their strategy for the next play based upon the current situation. Yes they wear pads and rugby don't. They ware pads is because when a 350lb linemen hits you it hurts. In football different players are different shapes and sizes, and have different abilities depending on their potion. If they all had the same abilities, it would be boring, and less strategy. Pads allow the 145lb running back to go up against a 350lb linebacker with out being killed. As far as game play goes. I think what makes football so great is the first down. You have an ultimate goal of scoring a touch down, but you also have intermediate goals, You need to advance the ball 10 yards in 4 plays or you lose possession. Soccer and rugby lacks this intermediate objective, and makes it more boring to watch. Calling American football a wussy sport is a bit of a disservice. Yes, I am sure American football players would not be very good at rugby. But I also would bet rugby players wouldn't be equally as bad at American football, because, they are different sports, with different objectives and focuses with different rules.

Re:slip your hand? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29216369)

Yes they wear pads and rugby don't. They ware pads is because when a 350lb linemen hits you it hurts. In football different players are different shapes and sizes, and have different abilities depending on their potion. If they all had the same abilities, it would be boring, and less strategy. Pads allow the 145lb running back to go up against a 350lb linebacker with out being killed.

As I recall, Theodore Roosevelt demanded that players wear pads due to the number of deaths caused by the impacts. Seriously, the pads serve the purpose of keeping the number of fatal injuries low enough for spectators (and players, family etc.). The reason that rugby and soccer don't use pads is because those sports don't cause too many deaths when people aren't padded up (most deaths are just during the riots).

Re:slip your hand? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29217053)

...You have an ultimate goal of scoring a touch down...

Errrm, why's it called a touch down when the ball does NOT have to be TOUCHED DOWN to score [only break the plane of the goal line]?

Re:slip your hand? (1)

theapeman (1068448) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214601)

A foot pound is a unit of energy, not force.

Re:slip your hand? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29215135)

No it isn't, it's a unit of torque, which is in turn, a force.

Re:slip your hand? (1)

internettoughguy (1478741) | more than 4 years ago | (#29216451)

The foot-pound force, or simply foot-pound (symbol: ftÂlbf or ftÂlb) is a unit of work or energy (a scalar) and also a unit of torque (a vector).

Re:slip your hand? (1)

Psyborgue (699890) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215395)

You people play that pussy sport SOCCER. You don't have big well protected men slamming into one another.

LOL. Why is this flamebait. It's friggin hilarious.

Re:slip your hand? (1)

obarthelemy (160321) | more than 4 years ago | (#29216773)

Actually, rugby players don't have all those protection, figure-, and crotch-enhancing paraphernalia.

Re:slip your hand? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214437)

I always thought the term 'football' came from running on the ground, as in 'on foot', to distinguish it from things like polo.

Re:slip your hand? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29217635)

Or handball where people run on their hands. Or basketball where people run on baskets. Or volleyball where you don't touch the ground.

Re:slip your hand? (2, Funny)

ristonj (1195983) | more than 4 years ago | (#29217001)

Tell that to Diego Maradona.

Re:slip your hand? (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#29217949)

In that case, throw the ball to Chris Chambers.

What's the point (4, Insightful)

Swizec (978239) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214239)

Ok this is getting rather ridiculous. What's the point of having such a controller? If you're doing all that running around and stuff anyway, why not just go out and ... you know, do some actual sports?

Why are they doing all of this and still leaving behind the single best application of the wiimote - swordfights. That's the only place where I can see a benefit from doing sports electronically since it's a lot friendlier to slash at your friends with an electronic sword rather than a real one.

What's next? Everyone wears a Wiimote-shirt that can read smashing into other players so it can translate said readings into electronic caricatures of the game?

Re:What's the point (1)

El_Muerte_TDS (592157) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214463)

Ok this is getting rather ridiculous. What's the point of having such a controller? If you're doing all that running around and stuff anyway, why not just go out and ... you know, do some actual sports?

But that's dangerous, you could hurt yourself doing real sports.
It's much safer to run around inside of your home playing virtual sports.

Re:What's the point (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214651)

But wouldn't be even safer to run around inside your virtual home playing virtual sports?

Re:What's the point (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214561)

Have you ever played the wii?

Some examples of really cool uses of the wiimote:
In wii sports/resort bowling you can put a spin on the ball and it's pretty accurate.
In wii sports resort table tennis you can do back spins, top spins and curving.
In mario cart you can of course use it as a steering wheel.
In wii sports resort you can shoot a basketball very accurately.

This stuff requires real skill. You cant just point a thumb stick somewhere and hit a button. You really have to pratice and thats what makes it fun. Nintendo has really changed the world and now Sony and Microsoft are filling patents for simliar controller ideas to catch up.

Re:What's the point (1)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214911)

In wii sports/resort bowling you can put a spin on the ball and it's pretty accurate.

Maybe in resort bowling. In Wii sports bowling the control is shit. Four of us stood around throwing bowling balls and not really knowing what was working and what wasn't, because throws which felt like we did the same thing produced entirely different results. Maybe my problem is that I've actually bowled, though.

In mario cart you can of course use it as a steering wheel.

Any steering wheel without force feedback is inferior to a joystick, it takes more effort for very little return.

This stuff requires real skill. You cant just point a thumb stick somewhere and hit a button.

You can, however, just twitch your wrist in most games.

There are arguments to be made for playing Wii games instead of doing "the real thing", for example rainy days, or a paraplegic on any day. Or perhaps days when the air pollution is too bad to go outside. If we continue our slide towards a Trantor-esque future then that will be more common than not. (Before the CARB cracked down on air quality in Los Angeles, it was starting to cause lung lesions in children and the elderly!) The rest of the time, it would be healthier to go outside and actually do some real moving around, get that blood pumping and lymph flowing, and get some sun! Vitamin D is important and getting it from milk really doesn't work (not to mention that most people are lactose intolerant to some degree.) Join the big parade or end up a big fatass.

Re:What's the point (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29217585)

Hey .. IDIOT .. the point he was trying to make .. which you IGNORED .. is that the NEW controller is much better ..

all but one of your comments is about the OLD device

fucktard

Re:What's the point (1)

PainKilleR-CE (597083) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214641)

A couple of different games have already tried swordfights, and done a pretty miserable job of it. Maybe the motion will help, but I wonder if anyone else is going to bother.

Wii Sports Resort - Swordplay (4, Informative)

AlpineR (32307) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214775)

Why are they doing all of this and still leaving behind the single best application of the wiimote - swordfights.

There's a popular new game called Wii Sports Resort that uses a position-sensitive controller add-on to simulate several sports. One of them is Swordplay. You can jab, slice, and block your friend or computer characters. There's even a Nerf sword you can stick the controller into if you want to feel a little more dorky.

Re:Wii Sports Resort - Swordplay (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29215533)

Nerf sword

Why don't you just come out and call it by its real name - a dildo !

Re:Wii Sports Resort - Swordplay (1)

Chris Burke (6130) | more than 4 years ago | (#29218149)

Why don't you just come out and call it by its real name - a dildo !

LOL. Why don't you just come out and admit that you've either never seen a dildo, or never seen anything Nerf.

Just fyi: foam makes for a really bad dildo, and swinging around a "sword" of latex rubber is a good way to hurt people.

Re:Wii Sports Resort - Swordplay (1)

momfreeek (720443) | more than 4 years ago | (#29216747)

Yeah but thats just lame.. how do they come up with 'wii sports resort' but miss 'immortal swordman hacking off zombies head's in a gritty dystopia'?

Re:What's the point (1)

flynt (248848) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215399)

Are you really that short-sighted? The point is that finding 20 people to play football with in mid-January on a moment's notice is not very easy. Growing up, I used to play pickup games all the time with friends. As we age, I almost never get to do that. All my current sporting activity is organized. This gives me a way to play something exactly when I want, without the extra hours of setting it up and traveling. Oh, and the games are usually a bit more whimsical than the real thing. It's a lot more fun playing Wii tennis with someone who has never played tennis before than it is playing real tennis with them (and doubly so in January in the Midwest).

Re:What's the point (1)

iamhigh (1252742) | more than 4 years ago | (#29216035)

Ok this is getting rather ridiculous. What's the point of having such a controller? If you're doing all that running around and stuff anyway, why not just go out and ... you know, do some actual sports

Because it's hard to find a place and friends to play at night after my kid has gone to bed. Also it is hard to see the leather football after dark.

Why are they doing all of this and still leaving behind the single best application of the wiimote - swordfights

Because it would suck. What happens when you slash, but your opponent blocks? Now your hands are pointing at the ground because it didn't physically stop YOU... but in the game your sword is at chest level. There are other issues as well.

Re:What's the point (1)

Swizec (978239) | more than 4 years ago | (#29216227)

Because it would suck. What happens when you slash, but your opponent blocks? Now your hands are pointing at the ground because it didn't physically stop YOU... but in the game your sword is at chest level. There are other issues as well.

One word: gyros. If they can keep a segway up, they can block a sword.

Interesting patent, but... (5, Interesting)

raving griff (1157645) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214241)

...I'm not so sure this design will ever hit market. Nintendo's got a bit of a history [reghardware.co.uk] for filing patents on applications of the Wii Remote and never following through with them.

Re:Interesting patent, but... (1)

mcfatboy93 (1363705) | more than 4 years ago | (#29217115)

im worried that if this does get a patent Nintendo will have a recall like they did for the early Wii remote arm straps because ppl were throwing them into their TVs. (and breaking them)

What's funny here... (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214243)

Is all the defensive Americans marking as Troll anything that highlights the ridiculousness of calling this particular game "Football". As a European, I had exactly the same reaction as another poster: that putting the Wiim-mote inside a football would be dangerous.

As it transpires, it's not actually a football, but for some twisted reason, it's still called that.

Re:What's funny here... (1)

Canazza (1428553) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214289)

What else would you call the ball they use in American Football? An American Football! Despite Association Football (Soccer) being more popular worldwide than your pansy version of Rugby Football, there's an insitance in international media on calling an American Football a football and an Association Football a Soccerball (despite no-one outside the new-world colonies calling it Soccer)

*tramps back to 1830 in a huff*

Re:What's funny here... (3, Insightful)

Swizec (978239) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214307)

Why's it even called American Football? Far as I can see from over the pond it's just a sissified version of rugby. (armour)

Re:What's funny here... (2, Funny)

TheRealSync (701599) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214361)

It's obviously called football, because you primarily move the ball around by using your foot... eh...

Re:What's funny here... (1)

iamagloworm (816661) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214401)

but you don't. you primarily move the ball by running with it, falling down, getting up and running with it and falling down, maybe throwing it occasionally and eventually, if you didn't do very well, there might be a kick in there. rugby isn't much better, but at least the game is called rugby, not football with throwing...

Re:What's funny here... (1)

El_Muerte_TDS (592157) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214475)

Whooooosh!

Re:What's funny here... (2, Informative)

mwvdlee (775178) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214581)

you primarily move the ball by running with it, falling down, getting up and running with it and falling down, maybe throwing it occasionally and eventually, if you didn't do very well, there might be a kick in there.

I can see from your comment, you don't quite understand the concept of american football. Let me just expand your comment to make it more accurate.

you primarily watch halfnaked girls do splits whilst waiving pompons, move the ball by running with it, take a 5 minute break, falling down, take a 5 minute break, getting up, take a 5 minute break, and running with it, take a 5 minute break, and falling down, take a half our break and watch some pornographical half-time show, maybe throwing it and taking 5 minute breaks occasionally and eventually, after a 5 minute break, if you didn't do very well, there might be a kick in there followed by a 5 minute break and half-naked girls again.

Re:What's funny here... (1)

Theaetetus (590071) | more than 4 years ago | (#29216611)

but you don't. you primarily move the ball by running with it, falling down, getting up and running with it and falling down, maybe throwing it occasionally and eventually, if you didn't do very well, there might be a kick in there. rugby isn't much better, but at least the game is called rugby, not football with throwing...

Running and falling down a lot is soccer, though. Also, moaning and holding your leg, not to mention getting up as soon as the referee gives you a free kick and continuing to play.

Re:What's funny here... (3, Funny)

EasyTarget (43516) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214453)

It's a 'marketized' version of rugby.. They have been convinced to wear all the nancy-boy padding for 'safety', but mostly it's so that sports equipment manufacturers can make a mint selling it while giving ad-wankers the maximum amount of logo-space.

There was once, so I understand, quite an interesting ball sport played in the US. An evolved variant of all the other 'football' type games played round the world. I believe it may even still be played by a small group with just an oval ball and a bunch of shirts/cones/stones to mark out a pitch and a sense of sportsmanship.

But the commercial/educational variant of it has morphed into a mockery of a sport which exists solely as a vehicle for advertising, sportsware sales and pay-per-view.

Ah.. In fact it's just like soccer then.. ;-)

Re:What's funny here... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214625)

Ah.. In fact it's just like soccer then.. ;-)

Seriously. Soccer is all about making money. One of the main occupations of the German association (DFB) is to sue hobbyists and fans who publish self-made videos and pictures of games with teams that are in the lowest leagues. It's disgusting. For all I care soccer is the better term. It's close to sucker. That's what its fans are as long as they support this system.

Re:What's funny here... (3, Insightful)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214971)

All pro sports are like that. It is most disgusting in the case of the olympics, where if you want to drink a beverage not sold on the grounds (even as an athlete) you have to cover up the label, and there are sharp restrictions on media; you cannot share any photos or video clips. Your memories belong to the olympic committee! Every time someone brings up the olympics I go off on a rant like this, which may be why I have so few friends :) But then, I don't have to hear about how amazing the fucking olympics are, either. Greece should start a new-old olympic games, but it was associated with nudity and Greece is always trying to escape its association with buttfuckery.

Re:What's funny here... (1)

Chris Burke (6130) | more than 4 years ago | (#29218211)

Every time someone brings up the olympics I go off on a rant like this, which may be why I have so few friends :)

I can understand why that would happen. The question I have is, do you drive them away with your rants? Or would it be like if I were your friend, and I'd drive you away by always saying "Olympics!" at random times just to inspire your rants?

Re:What's funny here... (1)

EasyTarget (43516) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215113)

... For all I care soccer is the better term. It's close to sucker.

Brilliant! thanks :-)

Re:What's funny here... (1)

222 (551054) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215709)

You've never played both.

Re:What's funny here... (2, Informative)

Stupendoussteve (891822) | more than 4 years ago | (#29216277)

Gridiron football is descended from rugby, American football is just the particular gridiron football rules used in the US, as is Canadian football in Canada.

Rugby union and rugby league are also played in the US separately, the US even has the gold medal from the last time union was played at the olympics.

Re:What's funny here... (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#29217997)

The other countries just never added pads and helmets to rugby because they couldn't afford them.

Re:What's funny here... (1)

IrquiM (471313) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214441)

What else would you call the ball they use in American Football?

Handball! Obviously

Re:What's funny here... (1)

teh kurisu (701097) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214593)

Taken [wikipedia.org] . Even 'American handball' exists, apparently. My vote is still 'handegg'.

Re:What's funny here... (1)

IrquiM (471313) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215749)

I'll join if you create a facebook group!

Re:What's funny here... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214331)

Yea the image of somebody kicking a football ball in the living room, towards the TV, is weird. Then again the image of somebody having an American Football egg in his hand and doing pretend throws, isn't much better either.

I wish the Wii came with a freely accessible camera and all that spastic flailing would be broadcast online :D

Re:What's funny here... (1)

ThomsonsPier (988872) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214451)

As it transpires, it's not actually a football, but for some twisted reason, it's still called that.

I was operating on the understanding that it's because the ball is a foot long.

Re:What's funny here... (4, Insightful)

LanMan04 (790429) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215119)

Good thing Slashdot is a European site...oh wait.

Re:What's funny here... (3, Informative)

T.E.D. (34228) | more than 4 years ago | (#29217145)

all the defensive Americans marking as Troll anything that highlights the ridiculousness of calling this particular game "Football"

This is a website run in America by a bunch of friends from Wisconsin. It can be expected that it will use American spellings and American terms for things.

So any post placed here complaining about the American terms used by the Americans running the site will be controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant and/or off-topic, with the inevitable result of provoking other users into an emotional or disciplinary response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion. It turns out this is the exact definition of a Troll [wikipedia.org]

So sue the mods for definition of character.

Re:What's funny here... (2, Insightful)

coolmoose25 (1057210) | more than 4 years ago | (#29217959)

I have to say that as an American, I'm amused by the European bias with regard to the name "Football"... While I agree that the "world" plays soccer (American for "football"), the notion that it is the ONLY game that should be called football is ludicrous. The only reason the "world" plays "football" is because you busy Europeans seeded the "world" with colonies, so they call it the same thing you do. OTOH, Americans are not the only ones who have a different game called "football"... Canadians have a very similar version to American football, and while the differences are greater, Australian Rules Football is also another variant... I have not, as yet, read the disparaging remarks about either of those "football" sports. Perhaps the Wikipedia entry on the word football would be useful to you English speaking Europeans... And don't even get me started on the whole ZEE verses ZED controversy...

"The word "football", when used in reference to a specific game can mean any one of those described above. Because of this, much friendly controversy has occurred over the term football, primarily because it is used in different ways in different parts of the English-speaking world. Most often, the word "football" is used to refer to the code of football that is considered dominant within a particular region. So, effectively, what the word "football" means usually depends on where one says it."

Smart (2, Interesting)

boliboboli (1447659) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214263)

One of the key rules of business is to know your market opportunities and cater to the larger segment. Clearly football has become the biggest and most popular sport in the US(sorry baseball) and they are going after a huge demographic by catering to them. Being a big football fan myself who doesn't own a wii, but like the idea of my kids playing football someday, I may purchase one so we can play when we can't go outside and use the real thing.

WII Motion Plus (2, Insightful)

sonicmerlin (1505111) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214299)

I'm assuming this will require the Wii Motion Plus to work accurately. However, one of the biggest complaints I've seen with the Wii Motion Plus is that it makes the Wii remote too unwieldy, especially with the necessity of the "jacket" wrapped around it. It's beyond my understanding why along with the Wii remote add-on Nintendo didn't just release a new Wii remote with the Wii Motion Plus functionality built in (well, i suppose they wanted the money made from the peripheral). Not to mention, a new version of the Wii Remote will fit much more easily into a football controller.

Re:WII Motion Plus (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214727)

Most likely they will do that when they release the newer, slimmer Wii.

Along with the newer, looonger, harder, faster, more vibratey Wii mote.

Football (1)

segedunum (883035) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214467)

Then you mimic running and throwing...

For most of the world that's not football.

Re:Football (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29216293)

You tell 'em, tiger!

For fuck sake... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214559)

If you want to play football, go outside and play some fucking football. This is getting ridiculous. How about some actual games now? This is why my Wii has been collecting dust since Mario Galaxy.

Attention, non-Americans! (4, Funny)

Megane (129182) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214665)

Please replace all references to "football" in the summary with "throwball". [urbandictionary.com]

Thank you for your patience.

Now a proper footy game for the Wii, that would be interesting. Maybe they could strap a Wiimote to each leg or something.

Re:Attention, non-Americans! (1)

xtracto (837672) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215299)

Please replace all references to "football" in the summary with "throwball". [urbandictionary.com]

Thank you for your patience.

Now a proper footy game for the Wii, that would be interesting. Maybe they could strap a Wiimote to each leg or something.

From your linked page:
Since the sport barely requires you to use your feet.

I wonder how do the players move, do they float or something?

Re:Attention, non-Americans! (2)

TeknoHog (164938) | more than 4 years ago | (#29215751)

From your linked page: Since the sport barely requires you to use your feet.

I wonder how do the players move, do they float or something?

OK, they use their feet, and the sport involves a ball. This is why sports like tennis and golf should also be called "football".

Re:Attention, non-Americans! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29217117)

no, tennis is sitball, because there's a ball, and players regularly sit after every few games played.

Re:Attention, non-Americans! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29216219)

FYI: They sound alike but they're spelled differently.

"Football" always means American Football.
"Futbol" is called "soccer" in the US because "futbol" sounds exactly like "football".

What the title really means (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29214773)

Nintendo Working On X Controller

=>

Nintendo making a cheap replica of X and sticking a Wiimote to or in it.

Amy: (2, Funny)

tyler.willard (944724) | more than 4 years ago | (#29214793)

"Wow! I could swear I was really playing virtual skeeball!"

Misleading title (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29215957)

After reading the title I thought that Nintendo was actually /working/ and that this might be worth reading.

TBH sounds like one of a million more Wii/DS add ons to compensate for a sub-par gaming system.

Yet another (1)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | more than 4 years ago | (#29216703)

Useless attachment to plug onto my Wiimote for a single game that will cease to be fun after a couple of months, thus becoming a complete waste.

Seriously, The Wii was a great idea when you filled in the blanks with your wii-mote. When all you had was the nunchuck to add on and you could turn that into a rifle. Or turning that combo into a fishing rod.

It started with the Racing wheel, which I could ALMOST understand. It does make it a little easier to drive, though its not like it was difficult. But then Nintendo realized... Hey... We made alot of money selling this attachment, because everyone wants at least 2 steering wheels... and then BAM, theres an attachment for everything, even games that worked fine before without attachments *cough*Tennis*cough*. And no one wants to have to switch the attachments after each minigame, you spend as much time prepping for the game as you do playing the game.

Don't get me wrong, I like Nintendo, this all just seems like a Cash Grab, and they've discovered they've got enough fanbase for it to work. The only things I ever want to see with a Wii are a Nun-chuck and the wii-fit board.

Wrong (1)

Joebert (946227) | more than 4 years ago | (#29217701)

You know what, no. I play video games just like everyone else but this is just retarded.
I'm not paying twice as much for a fake football that will be obsolete in a few years. Get off your fat ass, go outside, and play with a real football you lazy bastard.

At least, that's what my parent's would have said if I wanted one of these as a kid.

Explanation (1, Troll)

BigBlueOx (1201587) | more than 4 years ago | (#29218335)

In order to further international understanding and harmony let me explain the differences between 'futbol' and 'football'.

Futbol is sport in which tiny little guys dressed in their underwear run around a field the size of the state of Connecticut kicking a balloon. Nothing EVER happens on a futbol field so the fans take it upon themselves to entertain each other by beating the crap out of each other in the stands. And in the streets. And airports. And bars. And, I assume, in their neighborhoods.

Football is a sport in which huge, hulking steroid-engorged freaks of nature mostly stand around waiting for the TV commercial break to end wearing body armor adapted from the game "Unreal Tournament" and then kicking the crap out of each other for some reason.

Futbol holds the award for being the first participatory spectator sport and football holds the award for being the first sport to feature mostly-naked women bouncing around for your edification.

Clear?

Done and done.
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