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New 2D, HD Sonic Game Coming In 2010

Soulskill posted more than 4 years ago | from the now-with-more-speeding-pixels dept.

Classic Games (Games) 123

Anonymouse writes "Sonic the Hedgehog is going back to his roots, but with a fresh coat of HD paint. 'An all-new 2D side-scrolling High Definition Sonic game is coming with a 2010 release date, according to a new teaser trailer from Sega.' Sega's Ken Ballough had this to say: 'Old-school Sonic fans have long asked to see Sonic return to a more 2D style of gameplay. Many liked the daytime stages in Unleashed but wanted to see a game that plays purely similar to the early games of the Genesis. Project Needlemouse is that critical first step that brings Sonic back to his 2D roots.'"

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Let me guess (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29385965)

$60 for a 2d sidescroller that lasts all 12 or less hours, because its "Sonic"

About time! (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29385975)

About time Sonic came to Linux!

Re:About time! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386229)

What does it say on the inside of a nigger's lips? "INFLATE TO 30 PSI"

Re:About time! (4, Funny)

TheGreenNuke (1612943) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387567)

Screw Linux, I just want Sonic to open up a Drive-in in the North East close to where I live. I'm sick of seeing their ads with no Sonic within 60 miles, and then its only one, next closest is over 100 miles away, in a different direction.

Re:About time! (1)

ryanov (193048) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388763)

They opened two in my area... that appears to be their plan: show the ads for years with no Sonic, open a drive in, and then wait while the drones turn up and actually disrupt highway traffic waiting on lines for this shit. There is an actual police presence at both Sonics near me, and I believe someone rammed a police officer for telling him he could not come in.

Even after they open one near you, be prepared to stay FAR away from it for awhile. Ours have been here more than 6 months and it's still a scene every time I've been past them.

Re:Let me guess (1)

TheKidWho (705796) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386193)

Most of the 2D Xbox live/PSN HD remake games have been about $9.99-$19.99 which is fairly reasonable.

If this came out for PC I would be happy.

Re:Let me guess (1)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386859)

12 hours? I recall them talking about 3 hours with Unleashed which is why they added those werehog filler levels.

Re:Let me guess (1)

Per Wigren (5315) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387703)

How to they measure these magic "hours" that all game reviews talk about? What is the definition?

Re:Let me guess (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29387867)

I think they use a clock or maybe a watch. An hour is a unit of measurement of time it's 3600 seconds last time I looked.

Re:Let me guess (2, Interesting)

Segisaurus (1526837) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388561)

I think its an average calculation based on the beta testers.

Personally when playing a 40 hour RPG it usually becomes a 100+ game as I am one of those people that has to get 100% completion. But i know people who just rush through and beat the 40 hour game in 6-10.

But platformers, even if I'm going slow are usually no more than 6 hours. This game better be $20 or less with good replay value. I replayed Sonic 1,2,3 and S&K hundreds of times. But I know replay value is not big on programmers minds anymore.

Re:Let me guess (3, Insightful)

Lord Byron II (671689) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387471)

$60 for a good game. Who cares if it's 2D or 3D? Or if it takes 12 hours or 120 hours?

If your definition of a good game is being 3D and taking forever to complete, then I have a copy of Superman 64 I'd like to sell you.

Re:Let me guess (1)

oracle_of_power (750351) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388061)

I agree. If we used the current high end 3D games that require the most advanced graphics cards and systems then the simple games found at PopCap and other places would not be so damn popular and addictive. A good game is a good game.

Re:Let me guess (2, Insightful)

Applekid (993327) | more than 4 years ago | (#29389013)

The real issue is that there hasn't been a good SONIC game for over a decade. And by that it isn't allegiance to the character but the playstyle: large 2D maps with many many routes that are more fun to play when going fast but proportionately more perilous.

Let's face it, transitioning a classic non-RPG game to 3D requires supporting game mechanics to change dramatically. Compare games that jumped between 2D and 3D: Ninja Gaiden, Mario, Zelda, Metroid, Prince of Persia. All of them keep familiar elements to continue to feel like part of the franchise (which I'd argue is a bad and constraining thing) but ultimately require more subdued game play due to complexity. If you deny that they require a different way to think about games, look at Lemmings 3D, Blaster Master Blasting Again, or every Sonic game after Sonic 3D Blast, inclusively. It's more than just adding a Z axis.

Sonic to date has been about playing to furry fantasies and adding characters taking a cue from Sanrio's Hello Kitty to give it some faux richness and complexity and moving to 3D just to compete in the screenshot arena when the game is not ready for it and really is just about going fast and smashing up creative mechanical bosses.

Re:Let me guess (1)

PainKilleR-CE (597083) | more than 4 years ago | (#29389993)

I still prefer Mario, Zelda, and Metroid games in 2D (and Castlevania while we're at it).

For a good look at a modern 2D platformer running on a 3D engine to good effect, see Prinny: Can I Really Be the Hero? on the PSP. It's also a good example for replayability, appropriate difficulty levels, and length.

I would probably buy this Sonic game as long as it turns out to be what they're promising, rather than just another crappy post-Genesis Sonic game. The 3D games have not been able to capture anything that made the original enjoyable and distinct from its peers.

Re:Let me guess (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29389407)

$60 for a good game. Who cares if it's 2D or 3D? Or if it takes 12 hours or 120 hours?

Thats a stupid thing to say. I think a lot of people care if a $60 game is 12 hours or 120 hours! There is no way I can justify spending $60 on a game that I will beat in just 12 hours. But if it takes 120 hours to beat and is a good game? I would gladly buy it! As it is, I don't buy many games.

Re:Let me guess (2, Informative)

PainKilleR-CE (597083) | more than 4 years ago | (#29390135)

I could beat the original Super Mario Bros. in about 30 minutes, while others can apparently do it in about 5 minutes. I'd still buy a good remake or reworking of the game for $40-50 (ie New Super Mario Bros. on the Wii), because I still enjoyed the game after beating it several times.

That being said, I don't take much risk when it comes to games at $60. $50 is pretty much the upper limit of my willingness to assume any level of risk,and even then it's stretching things, since I can usually find games I know I'll enjoy cheaper than that.

The time I would like a game to take to complete depends entirely on the game, though. Platformers and side-scrolling (or top-down) shooters I can usually accept at a pretty low play time because they're often repayable and entertaining (both of which have been noticeably absent from their 3D brethren). That being said, I expect the developers to spend the time they otherwise would have spent on content development tweaking the gameplay. If they crank out the content and dump the game on the masses and it has no polish, it deserves to be in the bargain bin with the rest of the $5-20 games, or sitting on the download services.

Re:Let me guess (1)

TheRaven64 (641858) | more than 4 years ago | (#29390497)

Lasting 12 hours and taking 12 hours to complete are not the same thing. I've played lots of flash games that I'd consider to be good, but which I've completed in under half an hour and which don't have much replay value. I would consider a game like that to be worth less than a game which is as enjoyable while I play it, but which remains that enjoyable for 12 hours.

Finally... (1)

Neffirithion (950526) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386021)

A chance at a _good_ sonic game since the genesis.

Re:Finally... (1)

Dyinobal (1427207) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386171)

I rather enjoyed Sonic Adventure 2 on the game cube.

Re:Finally... (1)

nkh (750837) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386643)

GameCube or Dreamcast? I loved the Dreamcast version (the 1st one was bad) but the only Sonic game I player on the Cube was... weird.

Re:Finally... (1)

kannibal_klown (531544) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388013)

GameCube or Dreamcast? I loved the Dreamcast version (the 1st one was bad) but the only Sonic game I player on the Cube was... weird.

I think that was a joke.

Sonic Adventure 2 was viewed as less fun than the original by many, and the GameCube's version of 2 suffered poor sales.

But I could be wrong.

Re:Finally... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29388509)

I think that was a joke.

Sonic Adventure 2 was viewed as less fun than the original by many, and the GameCube's version of 2 suffered poor sales.

But I could be wrong.

I never understood this. Sonic Adventure 2 was fun and I greatly enjoyed it on the Dreamcast. Did it have its problems? Sure, but it was still an enjoyable game and could show how well a 3D Sonic game could be. It got great reviews on the Dreamcast even! Then comes the Gamecube version with ABSOLUTELY ZERO CHANGES to the single player and an added multiplayer. Suddenly "Oh noes, this sucks!" and it gets terrible reviews.

I'd blame this mostly on the sudden shift in the cynical nature of the media during this time. They pretty much just want to shit on stuff given any oppurtunity. If this was post-Dreamcast Sonic games (counting the SA2 port as a DC game as it is a port) it'd make more sense but why the sudden change of attitude from the Dreamcast version [metacritic.com] to the Gamecube version [metacritic.com] in under a year I'll never truely understand.

Oh well, screw reviewers, I enjoyed the game and that's all that matters.

Re:Finally... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29388563)

I think that was a joke.

Sonic Adventure 2 was viewed as less fun than the original by many, and the GameCube's version of 2 suffered poor sales.

But I could be wrong.

Poor sales? Yep, you're wrong. [wikipedia.org]

Re:Finally... (3, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386461)

This gives me the opportunity to ask about something that I've always had trouble finding info about... cart pulls.

A cart pull is when you yank one cartridge out, put another one in, and hit reset, based on the fact that the Genesis does not wipe RAM when you hit reset, and some games did not initialize all variables properly. This aspect is well-known in that Sonic 1 lets you get the first chaos emerald, hit reset, play from the beginning of the game until getting a chaos emerald (which will be the second), hit reset, repeat until you have all the emeralds, then play the game straight through without worrying about the special stages (or using level select to jump to scrap brain and just playing the end of the game).

I read about cart pulls in some gamer magazines back in the 90s. The only problem is I've found almost no references to the subject on the Internet, leading me to believe it could have been just a well-organized April Fools joke by several magazines. However, the sources I have found on the Internet have all looked legit, even giving a few examples...

Any Genesis history buffs care to answer this for me?

Re:Finally... (1)

maudface (1313935) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387099)

I discovered this with sonic 1, though couldn't care less as the game wasn't actually all that difficult to beat properly without cheating.

What I found rather interesting was that with the game sonic 3d (and I vaguely recall this working with at least one other cart) if you gave the cartridge a good tab on the front of the game it took one directly to the cheat menu.

Was this a deliberate thing or just a handy fluke? It was discovered by a friend of mine who gave the console a thump after a fit of rage induced by a rather agrivating volcanic valley boss fight, his anger was promptly defused by the situation!

Re:Finally... (2, Informative)

Canazza (1428553) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387327)

Sonic 3D Cheats menu: B,A, Right,Right, A, C, Up, Down Down, A (It spells Barracuda) one of the more memorable cheats :)

Re:Finally... (1)

Applekid (993327) | more than 4 years ago | (#29389457)

My favorite part of Reset not clearing variables is in X-Men. The game actually required you to press RESET on the console in order to finish it. Talk about exploiting a quirk and turning it into a unique game enhancement. With console operating systems and system-land and user-land distinctions, those days are gone, man.

Re:Finally... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386791)

I rather enjoyed Sonic - The Dark Brotherhood on the DS.

Re:Finally... (1)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386877)

You make it sound like they haven't made 2D Sonic games since then. There's 3 GBA ones and two DS games. The level design in the GBA ones was arse (hey, let's end a lengthy run sequence right on top of a set of spikes that pop up you can only know about with trial and error!), the DS versions were hit and miss (some good stages, some bad ones) though the second DS game was grindy (had to repeatedly play stages to get the parts you needed to reach the next level) from what I heard. Sure, none of them were made by Sonic Team itself but by the way it looks like the developer on these (Dimps) is more skilled than Sonic Team itself anyway.

In short, expect a 2D Sonic engine with level design that would shame a ROM hack.

The Adventure Curse. (1)

Deathlizard (115856) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388203)

I doubt it.

One of the interesting factors I've found with Sonic is any time Sega uses the word "Adventure" in any sonic game, the quality goes towards the crapper.

For example, Sonic Rush was pretty good. although it added another friend, but Sonic Rush Adventure was a useless grindfest that made you play stages over and over and over. nowhere near the first Rush.

Also in original games, the word Adventure is almost never found. It's nowhere on Sonic 1 or 2 either on the box art of the manuals. It's on Sonic CD's box art but thats probably why the boss battles were so easy, and it's on Sonic 3's book and Sonic and Knuckes's book and box art, but they both sucked on their own unless you locked on (more like Glued on when it came to my copy) Sonic 3 and S&K.

Considering that the first trailer for this 2D game already says adventure in it, I'm not keeping my hopes up.

Sonic Cycle (5, Funny)

TejWC (758299) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386023)

Before you get your hopes up, I would like to direct your attention to what is called the Sonic Cycle [imageshack.us] .

Re:Sonic Cycle (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386161)

This is almost the same as the Weezer album Cycle. You've run out of chances with me, Rivers Cuomo.

Re:Sonic Cycle (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386279)

all aboard the truth train

Re:Sonic Cycle (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386371)

What about sega trying to make a non-sonic game? Maybe all their Sonic games are flops because there are already like 5 BILLION fucking Sonic games already! SERIOUSLY!

Re:Sonic Cycle (2)

Shikaku (1129753) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386457)

See the top of the Sonic Cycle. He gets put in the game along with new friends on step 2.

Re:Sonic Cycle (1)

TheRaven64 (641858) | more than 4 years ago | (#29390555)

I seem to have missed out, as I've not played a Sonic game since the Megadrive. Are the friends really a problem? I always preferred playing as Tails in S2 and Knuckles in S&K.

As long as they dont manage to make it suck (1)

HazMat 79 (1481233) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386051)

It would be nice to buy a new sonic game that doesn,t suck. Some of the best times I had growing up was playing Sonic and Knuckles with my dad. It would be cool to be able to do that with my children.

Re:As long as they dont manage to make it suck (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29387727)

Who gives a fuck about your childhood days of getting knuckled by your gay dad? We're talking about a video game here; not your memories of incest.

Re:As long as they dont manage to make it suck (1)

TheRaven64 (641858) | more than 4 years ago | (#29390595)

Is there anything stopping you from playing S&K with your children on an emulator? I remember doing that ten years ago (one player with the keyboard, the other with a joypad). I vaguely remember having to cat two rom images together to play with Knuckles in other games, simulating the 'lock on' technology it had in the original carts.

Nice! (3, Insightful)

maroonhat (845773) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386065)

I always thought Sonic's transition to 3d was much less graceful than say, Mario's. Maybe it was the high speed and the weird feel of the Dreamcast controller that made me feel like I was influencing Sonic's motions, not controlling them.

Re:Nice! (4, Insightful)

Shadow of Eternity (795165) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386149)

Well mario made sense because he was a slower platformer to begin with and even in 2d had a reasonable amount of exploration already built in (mario3).

Sonic games... if you look at "maps" of the levels, they're ENORMOUS. Doing that in 3d would be almost impossible so they needed to both slow down sonic and find ways to make you feel like you were going faster and farther than you really were. Thus you get lots of grinding and levels that are basically roads floating in the middle of the air. Since Super Sonic basically went even faster still and was invincible except for crushing and falling into pits he had to go out the window too, it'd be impossible to control or map for and remove their carefully planned interruptions.

Going back to 2d and not on a handheld means there's a chance to get those looooong levels that aren't based on "haha didn't see that coming" tiny screen cheap shots and grinding/rocketing/whatevering level gimmicks back. Along with hopefully the old emerald system.

Re:Nice! (3, Interesting)

SlashdotOgre (739181) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386511)

I have to agree, although personally I don't think we need to throw 3D all the way out. Something along the lines of what Capcom did with Street Fighter IV would be pretty awesome. I've said it before, and will say it again. I wish these classic series would start sticking to their roots. When will companies realize it's not in their best interest to reinvent the wheel when it comes to classic series? I'm dying for modern remakes of several classic titles (Raiden, Gunstar Heroes, Radiant Silvergun, etc.), and I'm confident that doing them 2D is not only the cheaper approach, but will lead to the superior product.

Re:Nice! (1)

hairyfeet (841228) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386839)

I would like to add Eternal Champions to that list, as well as agree with you completely. Some games just don't translate well to 3D, and Sonic was definitely one of them. I for one would be happy to pay for a new Eternal Champions done in the "new old" Street Fighter style.

I'd love to rip through some Eternal Champions, Shinobi,Phantasy Star and Strider, and with the larger storage space they could really make for some awesome 2D gaming. Which was what always pissed me off about buying the Sega CD(still have it in the closet somewhere) is instead of using that space to make some truly awesome 2D goodness, like a Phantasy Star that made Generations of Doom look short, they had to ruin the platform by filling with dreck from Digital Pictures like Sewer Chewer...opps I mean Sewer Shark. What a waste of storage space, with video that looked like early 90s porn .WMVs. Bleech.

Re:Nice! (1)

sesshomaru (173381) | more than 4 years ago | (#29389809)

You know in Japan they did a Shadowrun RPG for the Sega CD. It got bumped in the US, obvioulsy, likely for Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch: Make My Music Video.

I miss Sega's consoles, but I can't say they didn't deserve their fate.

Re:Nice! (1)

JTsyo (1338447) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388499)

That was what was nice about the Contra series when it came to the PS2. They kept it as a side scroller but just added 3D rendering.

Re:Nice! (1)

zoidran (1632151) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388855)

Going back to 2d and not on a handheld means there's a chance to get those looooong levels that aren't based on "haha didn't see that coming" tiny screen cheap shots and grinding/rocketing/whatevering level gimmicks back.

2D sonic games look(ed) fast because of fast scrolling and nothing more. If you have enough time to see what's coming ahead, this means scrolling isn't that fast, hence the whole game seems comparatively slower (big screen or not, high res or not). YVMV, but I wouldn't expect substantial gameplay improvements on this aspect.

Re:Nice! (4, Interesting)

Freaky Spook (811861) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386219)

Sonic's transition to 3D was the same as NBA Jam, confusing and everything that was fun about the game got lost in translation.

It's good to see it going back to 2D, heaps of 2D Xbox live games have proved to be a huge success with a HD touch up, this should be the same.

Now all we need is them to do NBA Jam TE in HD and I'll be a very happy person.

Re:Nice! (1)

wisty (1335733) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386445)

Many games went downhill when they went to 3D. Even HMM (a strategy game) became less playable, because stuff was harder to click on than in iso. People like 3D for the graphics, not for the ability to get lost, for the ability to lose "obvious" items behind ferns, and other annoyances.

FPS is the exception.

Re:Nice! (1)

MemoryDragon (544441) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386943)

Actually I really liked Sonic and the secret rings except for the pointless story and music.
But the gameplay really was the 2d gameplay really well transitioned into the 3d realm. The trick simply was to push Sonic back on rails hence you could get the speed back.

Re:Nice! (1)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387411)

I don't think it is much like the 2D games but it does use the advantage of 3D that you can look ahead and control Sonic at much higher speeds, it's pretty much a redesign into a racing game which IMO was the right direction to take for 3D Sonic.

Re:Nice! (1)

MemoryDragon (544441) | more than 4 years ago | (#29389689)

Well I think it is not too different, the 2d games were like run as fast as possible and dont hit the obstacles in the way by jumping.
Secret rings was, run as fast as it gets and dont hit the obstacles in the way by jumping and getting sideways.
The reason why it feels like a racing game is, that burnout took a lesson from sonic and sonic in itself is a racing game sort of.
(well it has very similar mechanics)

But I think they got the formula defintively right in that game. I still wonder why this game got mediocre scores. I guess nowadays every Sonic game does given the stinker history of the franchies.

Re:Nice! (2, Informative)

Waccoon (1186667) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387859)

The Sonic Team was showing off too much in Sonic Adventure. You had limited control over the camera, and it would zip around all over the place on its own. An unpredictable camera is horrible, no matter how much work went into the AI to predict what the player wants to see.

The proper way to use the camera for any high-paced 3D game is a fixed viewpoint, so when controlling the character, you don't fight with the camera. It's not a visibility issue, it's a control issue, so smarter camera AI isn't going to help. The camera needs to be dumber and not move around unexpectedly.

Of course, that doesn't look as cool, which is why they keep screwing it up. Sticking with 3D graphics is fine for this kind of game, so long as the camera stays in 2D!

Re:Nice! (1)

jollyreaper (513215) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387973)

I always thought Sonic's transition to 3d was much less graceful than say, Mario's. Maybe it was the high speed and the weird feel of the Dreamcast controller that made me feel like I was influencing Sonic's motions, not controlling them.

Sonic was never meant to be 3D. He's hard enough to control in only two dimensions. I could just about handle him on the Genesis but on the Dreamcast? Forget it. Uncontrollable.

The DS version is where they needed to go. 3D engine locked onto the traditional 2D track. Looked pretty, played well, no 3D track BS. Only problem is that I'm just not very good at it.

A list of what not to include (5, Insightful)

Haoie (1277294) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386077)

-Every character except Sonic, Tales, and Knuckles
-Clumsy, overbearing storyline
-Rail grinding

Re:A list of what not to include (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386129)

-Archie comic/SatAM characters
-Chao Garden
-Car racing

These are all fan favorites, Sonic fans don't play for the speedy gameplay, they just love the furry matter. Oversaturation of Tails fans is proof of this.

Even with the '2D roots', it won't satisfy every stupidly bred niche.

Re:A list of what not to include (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386165)

Screw what the fans want. Wait, isn't that what they've been doing for the past five years?

Bring on the old school gameplay! Mm, will he go back to his old Mega Drive appearance?

Re:A list of what not to include (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386199)

The hope is that it is really hard to screw up a 2d game. If you can screw up something as simple as Direction + Jump + Attack you really have no hope left.

Re:A list of what not to include (2, Informative)

Jared555 (874152) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386225)

I think you are underestimating the ability of game companies to screw something simple up

Re:A list of what not to include (1)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387147)

Oh, it's easy. Spikes up the wazoo. Especially in places where you're moving so fast that you won't see them until you've already got a good internal organ peeling. Maybe if spikes aren't good enough use energy beams that kill you even if you have rings left. Or just the good 'ole bottomless pit right next to the speed rail.

Re:A list of what not to include (1)

zoidran (1632151) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386853)

Doesn't Tails qualify as a furry?

Re:A list of what not to include (1)

stwrtpj (518864) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388549)

Doesn't Tails qualify as a furry?

He gets a pass because he's one of the original characters. Plus, if they do it like the original games where he tags along with you, you get to have fun watching him blunder into things, get himself "killed", and then helicopter back onscreen by spinning his two tails.

Ah, the simple pleasures of yesteryear ...

Re:A list of what not to include (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29390179)

He gets a pass because he's one of the original characters. Plus, if they do it like the original games where he tags along with you, you get to have fun watching him blunder into things, get himself "killed", and then helicopter back onscreen by spinning his two tails.

I appreciated a character that a 2nd player could play or not play at their discretion. This is great for playing with kids or younger siblings. They let go of the controller for a few seconds or so and the game AI takes over. Then, they can jump in whenever needed or desired.

Re:A list of what not to include (1)

vadim_t (324782) | more than 4 years ago | (#29389489)

No furries? Who would star in the game, Chris Thorndyke and Princess Elise?

Hedgehogs are furry (and have actual fur on the belly), foxes and echidnas are too. And lizards, dragons, snakes and birds are included in the furry fandom even if they lack actual fur.

From the headline. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386137)

Hence H = 2.

Your official guide to the Jigaboo presidency (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386145)

Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.

You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.

Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat

Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.

Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.

Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most prominent anatomical feature, after all, its oversized buttocks, which have evolved to make it more comfortable for your nigger to sit around all day doing nothing for its entire life. Niggers are often good runners, too, to enable them to sprint quickly in the opposite direction if they see work heading their way. The solution to this is to *dupe* your nigger into working. After installation, encourage it towards the cotton field with blows of a wooden club, fence post, baseball bat, etc., and then tell it that all that cotton belongs to a white man, who won't be back until tomorrow. Your nigger will then frantically compete with the other field niggers to steal as much of that cotton as it can before the white man returns. At the end of the day, return your nigger to its cage and laugh at its stupidity, then repeat the same trick every day indefinitely. Your nigger comes equipped with the standard nigger IQ of 75 and a memory to match, so it will forget this trick overnight. Niggers can start work at around 5am. You should then return to bed and come back at around 10am. Your niggers can then work through until around 10pm or whenever the light fades.

Your nigger enjoys play, like most animals, so you should play with it regularly. A happy smiling nigger works best. Games niggers enjoy include: 1) A good thrashing: every few days, take your nigger's pants down, hang it up by its heels, and have some of your other niggers thrash it with a club or whip. Your nigger will signal its intense enjoyment by shrieking and sobbing. 2) Lynch the nigger: niggers are cheap and there are millions more where yours came from. So every now and then, push the boat out a bit and lynch a nigger.

Lynchings are best done with a rope over the branch of a tree, and niggers just love to be lynched. It makes them feel special. Make your other niggers watch. They'll be so grateful, they'll work harder for a day or two (and then you can lynch another one). 3) Nigger dragging: Tie your nigger by one wrist to the tow bar on the back of suitable vehicle, then drive away at approximately 50mph. Your nigger's shrieks of enjoyment will be heard for miles. It will shriek until it falls apart. To prolong the fun for the nigger, do *NOT* drag him by his feet, as his head comes off too soon. This is painless for the nigger, but spoils the fun. Always wear a seatbelt and never exceed the speed limit. 4) Playing on the PNL: a variation on (2), except you can lynch your nigger out in the fields, thus saving work time. Niggers enjoy this game best if the PNL is operated by a man in a tall white hood. 5) Hunt the nigger: a variation of Hunt the Slipper, but played outdoors, with Dobermans. WARNING: do not let your Dobermans bite a nigger, as they are highly toxic.

Niggers die on average at around 40, which some might say is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most people prefer their niggers dead, in fact. When yours dies, report the license number of the car that did the drive-by shooting of your nigger. The police will collect the nigger and dispose of it for you.

Have it put down, for god's sake. Who needs an uppity nigger? What are we, short of niggers or something?

They all do this. Shorten your nigger's chain so it can't reach any white women, and arm heavily any white women who might go near it.

Not unless it outnumbers you 20 to 1, and even then, it's not likely. If niggers successfully overthrew their owners, they'd have to sort out their own food. This is probably why nigger uprisings were nonexistent (until some fool gave them rights).

Yeah, well, it would. Tell it to shut the fuck up.

A nigger's skin is actually more or less transparent. That brown color you can see is the shit your nigger is full of. This is why some models of nigger are sold as "The Shitskin".

What you have there is a "wigger". Rough crowd. WOW!

They're as common as dog shit and about as valuable. In fact, one of them was President between 1992 and 2000. Put your wigger in a cage with a few hundred genuine niggers and you'll soon find it stops acting like a nigger. However, leave it in the cage and let the niggers dispose of it. The best thing for any wigger is a dose of TNB.

And you were expecting what?

When you came in here, did you see a sign that said "Dead nigger storage"? .That's because there ain't no goddamn sign.

Re:Your official guide to the Jigaboo presidency (1)

bluefoxlucid (723572) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388343)

Hmm. I would love to meet a cute black girl named Ivory. It would be ironic, and amusing.

Yeah, right. (4, Insightful)

Perseid (660451) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386207)

This is Sega making a Sonic game in the 21st century. You just KNOW they're going to find some way to fuck it up. It's company policy.

OK but where's Yakuza 3 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29386221)

subtitle it, etc. who cares......

I don't mind the product tie-ins.....

This better be good (1)

Tokerat (150341) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386269)

If they let fans down with this one, it'll be the end of the brand, for sure. Sega cannot afford that. After all the recent letdowns, this looks promising seeing as (they say) they're looking to emulate the "old skool" Sonic feel. Play control is a must, and creativity as well. True to the Sonic Cycle, my hopes are up, but I'm not going to pass solid judgment until I know a lot more.

This isn't going to happen (1, Informative)

nyt (18341) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386349)

from http://www.needlemouse.com/

You've found our Needlemouse project! Congratulations!

You may think you're looking at a sample of the upcoming Sega game, which according to recent speculation is called Project Needlemouse. What you've stumbled on is actually a fan-created game that weâ(TM)ve been calling Needlemouse: The Emerald Hills since we began working on it a few months ago.

oh well.

Re:This isn't going to happen (2, Informative)

alienunknown (1279178) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386591)

That site is fake, apparently [destructoid.com] .

Yesterday we were all freaking out over the announcement of Project Needlemouse, a codenamed game that promised to be a brand new 2D Sonic the Hedgehog due for release in 2010. Don't worry, the game itself and the trailer we posted is genuine. However, a Project Needlemouse site featuring Green Hill-esque artwork has been confirmed as false.

Hopefully look as good as Trine (1)

UnknownSoldier (67820) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386601)

Trine is a "2d" side-scroller, but makes beautiful use of pixel & vertex shaders, along with fun gameplay.

I haven't remembered a SEGA game being fun in ages (aka Dreamcast days)

Re:Hopefully look as good as Trine (1)

MemoryDragon (544441) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386955)

Not really trine is 3d but in 2d/3d look like Pandemonium was. Btw. as for Sega I really liked the Nintendo DS sonics and funnily I personally loved Sonic and the Secret Rings.

Re:Hopefully look as good as Trine (1)

hal2814 (725639) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388867)

If you don't remember SEGA being fun since the Dreamcast, then you need to pick up a Super Monkey Ball game.

I don't think this will work out (1)

ILuvRamen (1026668) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386611)

I don't think this will work out exactly the best because you just know some higher up douche is going to pressure them into adding something complex, flashy, and "modern." It's like developers aren't allowed to make simple, awesome games anymore unless they're making them in flash online or something. They'll probably end up giving him a rail gun or letting him pull out a laptop and blog in the middle of a level or something idiotic like that. I want my damn simple sonic, damn it!

Cycle or not (1)

MistrX (1566617) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386833)

Well if there is a sonic cycle or not, I still got my hopes up. Why? Because I am a positive person. Like it or not but they made good Sonic games. They were on Genesis but there were there. So they should be able to make a good Sonic game again. After 10 years of sucky Sonic games (with an exceptions of Sonic Adventure) they had enough time to think about it.

When it's released, I'll look for reviews and screens, and if it's released for the PC, I'll probably buy it.

Sonic 2d (1)

MemoryDragon (544441) | more than 4 years ago | (#29386933)

There has been a load of 2d sonics, but they were only released on the handheld consoles, needless to say they were quite good.

Re:Sonic 2d (1)

Oblong_Cheese (1002842) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387371)

'Sonic Rush' and its followup on Nintendo DS are some of the best Sonic titles available. I would say they easily rival the classics from Sega's heydey. Most reviews had high praise for the games speed, non-linearity and relatively small number of extra (but useless) side characters.

Re:Sonic 2d (1)

Rhaban (987410) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387601)

I tried Sonic Rush Adventure on the DS. Took me 10 minutes of dialogs and stupid stuff before I could play a platforms level.

I never touched that game again. I usually play on my DS for short sessions, and if I want to play a sonic game I want a fast platform game. I don't care about a storyline that's as dumb as the worst teletubbies episodes.

Ah, Retrogaming... (1)

Sabz5150 (1230938) | more than 4 years ago | (#29387687)

The Coca-Cola Classic of video games. When you've got a great formula, don't go changing it.

Sonic games = not fun? (0, Troll)

ptcheezer (677747) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388731)

Am I the only one who doesn't get the appeal of the Sonic games? Especially the 2D ones? It all starts out well enough, but you get moving so fast there is no way to react to what's coming up next. Sure, I could grind through a level and lose rings until I remember where everything is. Now it's like a memorization chore. Sonic was supposed to be Sega's answer to Mario, so they thought they'd have to show off how the Genesis could scroll things at a million miles per hour -what fun! Wow, it dazzles me! FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.

._. (1)

Spewns (1599743) | more than 4 years ago | (#29388871)

What kind of crappy trailer was that? Text on a website would've sufficed. I mean, if you got nothin' to show...

Also, apparently I have the complete opposite reaction than a lot of you. The 2D Sonic games are really boring and dated, yet the original Sonic Adventure for Dreamcast was by far one of the best games of its time. Seeing as it's the only 3D Sonic game I've played though, I can't really vouche for anything further.

Sonic Rush (1)

MaWeiTao (908546) | more than 4 years ago | (#29389077)

We'll see if it is actually faithful to the original Sonic or if it ends up being more like the crap, Sonic Rush on the DS. Excluding the frustrating boss fights, the game was completely 2D. The sense of speed was present, but the stages were poorly designed with all sorts of traps, obstacles and falls to constantly trip up a player. The game was constant trial and error trying to figure how to get past sections. But even worse, pacing was awful. The game encouraged, even required high speeds but then would throw obstacles in your way that would disrupt movement and usually kill you. The rest of the game wasn't much better; having to replay stages and the embarrassingly bad story in particular. The game got better ratings that it deserved, I think mainly because people were turned on by more traditional gameplay and every other Sonic game excluding the originals was so atrocious.

It could be argued that Sonic, the original, didn't quite have the personality and charm of the Super Mario Bros series. It could also be argued that it didn't quite have the depth of those games. But for what it did it was great. The sense of speed could be exhilarating; there haven't been many platform games with that sense of speed. And every stage was well designed, with the appropriate pace for each stage established right at the start.

While I'd like Sega to hark back to the original as much as possible, I also want to see some level of evolution. Unfortunately, given Sega's history with the Sonic series I don't expect anything good outside of them just remaking the original.

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