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306 comments

Yes. (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29398783)

Because without programmers we'd still be hurling stones and whacking each other over the head with bone clubs.

Russia's . . . PUPPET !! (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29398945)

Putin is pulling the strings you stupido lady !!

Re:Yes. (2, Interesting)

lysergic.acid (845423) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399483)

List of professions that I think are probably more deserving of their own holiday:

  • teachers
  • doctors & other medical professionals
  • social workers
  • scientists & mathematicians
  • mathematicians
  • firemen/coast guard/rescue workers
  • artists, musicians, and writers

Of course, some of these are sorta already commemorated by labor day, and I would have also put farmers on the list if most weren't just corporate farms these days. I also thought about including inventors (it'd be nice for encouraging kids to be creative and laud ingenuity) but I'm not sure it's so much an occupation as it is a hobby/lifestyle.

It is usually celebrated by... (5, Funny)

John Guilt (464909) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398791)

...setting up a bot-net to send 20 phishing e-cards each to everyone _not_ a programmer.

Re:It is usually celebrated by... (2, Funny)

gracesdad (1558105) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398943)

I was coming here to say the same thing, kudos sir! The last real program to come out of Russia was Tetris, hardly worthy of a holiday.

Re:It is usually celebrated by... (5, Informative)

Darkness404 (1287218) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399019)

Yeah, and we all know that Tetris didn't do anything other than create an entire new market for games and changed the face of gaming by introducing portable gaming as a real means of gaming. Without Tetris we wouldn't have the DS or PSP.

Re:It is usually celebrated by... (3, Insightful)

Daniel Dvorkin (106857) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399435)

Whoever modded parent "troll" is a jackass. Tetris really was a profoundly important game; given its popularity and the market it spawned, it's probably up there with, say, Visicalc and Mosaic on the list of (so to speak) game-changing software -- programs that weren't just commercially successful, but created a market for a whole new type of computing. Given that today's cell phone games -- many of which are very Tetris-like -- use more processing power than what was generally available on the desktop when Tetris was first introduced, dismissing its importance because it was "just a game" is a mistake.

Re:It is usually celebrated by... (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399351)

Yeah, but it looks like they have a plenty of _real_ programmers. It's quite striking that MIT didn't win the ACM competition in at least 10 years:

# 2009 - Saint Petersburg University of Information Technologies, Mechanics and Optics, Russia
# 2008 - Saint Petersburg University of Information Technologies, Mechanics and Optics, Russia
# 2007 - University of Warsaw, Poland
# 2006 - Saratov State University, Russia
# 2005 - Shanghai Jiao Tong University, China
# 2004 - Saint Petersburg University of Information Technologies, Mechanics and Optics, Russia
# 2003 - University of Warsaw, Poland
# 2002 - Shanghai Jiao Tong University, China
# 2001 - St. Petersburg State University, Russia
# 2000 - St. Petersburg State University, Russia
# 1999 - University of Waterloo, Canada
# 1998 - Charles University, Czech Republic

While parent was probably aiming for "funny" mod.. (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399375)

I was coming here to say the same thing, kudos sir!
The last real program to come out of Russia was Tetris, hardly worthy of a holiday.

Software industry is actually rather big in Russia. It is a decent place for outsource to. They don't offer quite as cheap prices as you could get in India but there are some benefits.

The (work) culture resembles western culture a lot more than the culture (and conditions) in India do. It is easier to negotiate with the local companies, it is easier to send your own workers to oversee the project, etc. when cultures are more similar.

In addition... While I (having visited Russia many times) would never deny that there is a massive amount of corruption (I've had to bribe the militia/police once though I've spent there only a few months in total. And no, I had done nothing wrong except that I drove a foreign, relatively new looking car. Giving a small bribe is a lot faster and easier for everyone than trying to argue with them at that point.)... It is not as bad with software companies.

The rich can bribe their ways to good degrees from universities but those people don't usually send their children to study software engineering. As a result, you can trust the degrees at least a little. If I was given no other information, I would hire a Russian coder with Bachelor's degree any day over a guy with similar degree from an university in India...

Re:It is usually celebrated by... (1)

K. S. Kyosuke (729550) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399449)

Right now, a significant part of Firebird (RDBMS) development takes place in Russia. JetBrains is also a mostly Russian company, and many a Java developer swears by IntelliJ IDEA. And don'Å get me started about ABBYY and Kaspersky Labs products...

In Soviet Russia, (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29398799)

Programming Celebrates You!

Humm .. (4, Funny)

PIBM (588930) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398805)

I would have had it on the 1st, 2nd, 4th, 8th, 16th, 32th, 64th, 128th and 256th day of the year, if I was to choose ;)

Re:Humm .. (1)

pizzach (1011925) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399349)

If you are trying to figure out when the special holiday sales are on the hard drives, these dates match up to 1st, 10th, 100th, 1000th, 10000th, 100000th, 1000000th, 10000000th and 100000000th respectively.

Off by one error (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399421)

I celebrate it on the 255th day, you insensitive clod!

In honor of Programmer's Day (3, Funny)

presidenteloco (659168) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398815)

All programmers in Russia are permitted to work only a single 8 hour shift
today instead of the usual 16 hour shift !

Re:In honor of Programmer's Day (5, Informative)

CRCulver (715279) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398873)

It's ironic you make that joke, since one of the first reforms the Bolsheviks made during the October Revolution was reducing the working day to 8 hours.

Re:In honor of Programmer's Day (2, Insightful)

jorghis (1000092) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399399)

Amazing how defenses of Bolshevik economics get modded up in spite of how truly horrible it was to actually live in an economy like that. I would rather work in a country where you can actually earn something for a full days work than one where the government comes in and mandates that noone is allowed to work more than 8 hours. I work probably 9-10 hours a day, but at least I get something out of it. And I would not have in the old 'Workers Paradise'.

Re:In honor of Programmer's Day (1)

QuoteMstr (55051) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399451)

Or, you know, you could live in France, work seven hours a day, and actually have time to enjoy life. I don't want my tombstone to read "He died at his desk".

Seems odd... (2, Interesting)

AlastairLynn (1366585) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398817)

As much as programmers do often work hard and produce nifty things, why this rather than, say, surgeons' day, or police officers' day?

Re:Seems odd... (2, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29398927)

Well, in Russia, police officers, medical workers, and every other profession actually have their own "days" as well.

Re:Seems odd... (1)

mwvdlee (775178) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399007)

Or goddamned secretary day, for that matter.
Oh wait...

Re:Seems odd... (1)

value_added (719364) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399255)

Or goddamned secretary day, for that matter.
Oh wait...

So if the CEO walks in and announces a Programers Day, instead of flowers, you'd expect what?

Great job! Here's a USB stick. Everyone's signed the card!

Re:Seems odd... (1)

Punto (100573) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399159)

do the important jobs even get a "day"? "programmer's day" sounds like "secretary's day" to me (I better get some nice flowers tomorrow)

Re:Seems odd... (1)

cutecub (136606) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399169)

Or... National Dairy Goat Awareness Week [latimes.com]

Goat Awareness Week Proclaimed by Reagan

June 21, 1987

WASHINGTON -- President Reagan took time out Friday from visiting with Chad's president, tracking South Korean unrest and trying to influence a Senate trade bill to proclaim last week "National Dairy Goat Awareness Week."

Acting on a congressional resolution, Reagan praised dairy goats for their ability to thrive in harsh surroundings and for their link with American history.

I'm glad we all have our priorities in order.

-S

Re:Seems odd... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399423)

Russia does have a police officers' day (November 10th).

At least... (2, Insightful)

amightywind (691887) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398819)

At least it doesn't interfere with Obama's Day of Service to our Government masters on September 11.

Re:At least... (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29398931)

I really wish I could laugh at that, but it is just an abomination to the country... a slap in the face if you will. Who in their right mind would make a terrorist attack a national holiday? It's just disgusting, and says something very odd and disgruntling about Obama.

Re:At least... (5, Informative)

sayfawa (1099071) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399033)

I really wish I could laugh at your ignorance. Patriot Day [wikipedia.org] started well before Obama came along.

Re:At least... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399261)

I really wish I could laugh at your ignorance. Patriot Day [wikipedia.org] started well before Obama came along.

YOU LIE!!!!

Re:At least... (3, Informative)

ProfM (91314) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399345)

I really wish I could laugh at your ignorance.

What the OP is talking about is Obama's Speech [youtube.com] at the Pentagon. Watch at about 4:00 minutes in, and listen to what the President is saying ... "On this first National Day of Service and Remembrance, we can summon once more that ordinary goodness of America to serve our communities ..."

Re:At least... (1)

manyxcxi (1037382) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399353)

I really wish I could laugh at your ignorance. Patriot Day [wikipedia.org] started well before Obama came along.

You are correct, it was Patriot Day, then after Sept 11, 2001 it was known as an unofficial day of remembrance. It wasn't until our current presidential regime, who we are apparently here to serve, declared it a national day of service.

Re:At least... (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399083)

Ever heard of December 7, 1941? Or the remembrance day officially attached to the date December 7, every year?

Re:At least... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399417)

I take it that something important happen on Dec 7th? All I can remember is that some folks from Japan decided to take a vacation in some harbour in Hawaii.

Re:At least... (5, Interesting)

Boronx (228853) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399147)

By calling it "national service" day, rather than "terrorists kicked our ass and now we have to act like idiots" day, we take the day back in some small way.

Re:At least... (1)

jonbryce (703250) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399203)

The English for starters. OK Guy Fawkes day isn't actually a holiday, but we do observe it. Although I suppose what we are celebrating is the fact that the attack failed.

Re:At least... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399167)

>>At least it doesn't interfere with Obama's Day of Service to our Government masters on September 11.

You mean George W. Bush's Day of Service to our Government masters??

President George W. Bush signed the resolution into law on December 18, 2001

Pwned f*cktard

Re:At least... (2, Funny)

dubbayu_d_40 (622643) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399363)

Two bananas were standing on the river bank in the dead of winter. A turd floats by and says 'come on in, the water's great!' One banana says to the other, 'you believe that shit?'

Wetware Not Software (4, Insightful)

mindbrane (1548037) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398835)

In Russia the programmers program you!

I think, in what is fast becoming a fascist state of one part gangsterism and one part corporatism, the programmers they're talking about aren't the programmers you're thinking about.

Re:Wetware Not Software (1)

Weezul (52464) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399031)

Yes, these just don't have the following of talk like a pirate day or caps lock day. ;)

Probably not ahead of scientists/math./engineers (3, Interesting)

rolfwind (528248) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398847)

Do programmers deserve their own holiday ahead of other professions?

Probably not ahead of scientists/mathematicians/enginneers. But still, pretty cool.

And can't but think it will be yet another forgotten day - secretary's day, siblings day, etc. All exist, all forgotten. Every day is proclaimed something and the novelty wore off or never caught on. Probably the only novel thing would be to have a "regular" day where nothing is officially remembered/celebrated/commerated/pissed_on/whatever.

Re:Probably not ahead of scientists/math./engineer (2, Funny)

sjames (1099) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398909)

Not to mention mattress sale^w^wpresidents day.

Re:Probably not ahead of scientists/math./engineer (1)

FilatovEV (1520307) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399145)

Surely you don't think of it as of a pure official invention? The Day of Programmer is celebrated unofficially for several years now. It was invented by programmers. The Governmental decision is just the official recognition of the existing tradition.

Re:Probably not ahead of scientists/math./engineer (1)

quercus.aeternam (1174283) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399153)

It's probably because it's hard to know know how to celebrate it, and it's not quite as broadly applicable to the populace.

That's really what the International Talk Like A Pirate Day has going for it - everyone can participate, it's easy to celebrate!

(oh, and for the mute out there, I'm sure you can sign like a pirate, too. Just not in my general direction, ok?)

Re:Probably not ahead of scientists/math./engineer (1)

Cheesetrap (1597399) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399415)

for the mute out there, I'm sure you can sign like a pirate, too.

Yeah, you just need to do it with a bit of a snarl, and have your parrot chime in with loud, often profane witticisms at opportune moments. :D

new battlefront (1)

Anonymous Cowar (1608865) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398863)

In 20-30 years, we may have a holiday to honor the warriors of the internet battlefield. With cyber command coming online in the next few years and government sanctioned internet attacks coming out of china, the next great war might be fought with light cycles and crazy computer graphics that stand in for a command console. Think of it as a memorial day, but for those who fight to defend our infrastructure.

Re:new battlefront (1)

Krneki (1192201) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399117)

Nah, it will be the same as it is today with Windows bot-net. People using insecure devices will get owned. The problem will get bigger, because more and more stuff will move on the Internet.

I for one welcome our Ghost hacking overloads.

In Soviet Russia.... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29398875)

...oh.... never mind

Re:In Soviet Russia.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399235)

In post-Soviet Russia, they grant you a holiday that falls on Saturday. Then warn you to expect a make-up load the following week.

I'll take the money (1)

tsotha (720379) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398889)

You give holidays to people when you want them to keep doing what they're doing without getting paid more.

answer (3, Insightful)

nomadic (141991) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398897)

Do programmers deserve their own holiday ahead of other professions?

No.

Should the rest of the world follow suit?

No.

Re:answer (1)

exa (27197) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398995)

Hey, but we are the new proletariat, aren't we? So it only seems appropriate we got a vacation in Russia.

Not ahead of other professions (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399191)

As usual, another blogger who doesn't know what he's talking about. There are a lot of "professional" holidays in Russia, most left from the Soviet times.

Off the top of my head, August 2nd is Airborne Troops Day, November 10th is Police Day, there are also Geologist Day, Miner Day, Border Guard Day, lots of others. Most aren't widely celebrated.

Only REAL Programmers! (2, Funny)

www.sorehands.com (142825) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398929)

People who do web sites are not programmers, unless you write it in C,FORTRAN, or assembler!

Be a real programmer.

http://www.sorehands.com/humor/real1.htm [sorehands.com]

Re:Only REAL Programmers! (1)

genner (694963) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399251)

People who do web sites are not programmers, unless you write it in C,FORTRAN, or assembler!

Be a real programmer.

http://www.sorehands.com/humor/real1.htm [sorehands.com]

I've done website cgi-bin stuff in C, that makes me a real programmer not like those wanna be PERL coders.

Oldest Profession (4, Funny)

Mr. Flibble (12943) | more than 4 years ago | (#29398975)

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but the "worlds oldest profession" probably needs its own holiday too.

It is a holiday that has been a long time in coming.

Re:Oldest Profession (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399025)

I guess someone paid a lot to make it a long time coming.

Re:Oldest Profession (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399135)

*simbal*drum*

Re:Oldest Profession (1)

macbeth66 (204889) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399047)

Absoutely! On the 69th day of the year! Or the 68th day and I'll owe you one.

But, then again, don't corporate programmers prostitute themselves already?

Re:Oldest Profession (1)

H0p313ss (811249) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399243)

>

But, then again, don't corporate programmers prostitute themselves already?

Corporate programmers are like the hooker with the heart of gold. We ENJOY it.

Abosolutely! (1)

NoYob (1630681) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399107)

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but the "worlds oldest profession" probably needs its own holiday too.

It is a holiday that has been a long time in coming.

Bakers? Why not! Without bakers, we wouldn't have bread which led to beer!

Let's hear it for Mr. Flibble for sticking up for the bakers!!

Re:Abosolutely! (2, Funny)

Mr. Flibble (12943) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399219)

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but the "worlds oldest profession" probably needs its own holiday too.

It is a holiday that has been a long time in coming.

Bakers? Why not! Without bakers, we wouldn't have bread which led to beer!

Let's hear it for Mr. Flibble for sticking up for the bakers!!

I was referring to a profession involving a different kind of yeast.

Re:Abosolutely! (2, Funny)

NoYob (1630681) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399319)

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but the "worlds oldest profession" probably needs its own holiday too.

It is a holiday that has been a long time in coming.

Bakers? Why not! Without bakers, we wouldn't have bread which led to beer!

Let's hear it for Mr. Flibble for sticking up for the bakers!!

I was referring to a profession involving a different kind of yeast.

Ohhhhhhhhhh, a vintner! Yes, wine makers do use a different kind of yeast.

Re:Oldest Profession (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399455)

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but the "worlds oldest profession" probably needs its own holiday too.

Someone already mentioned a Whore day... Oh, do corporate whores count? *cough*Bush/Obama/etc*cough*

Leap years (1)

gmuslera (3436) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399015)

Programmers wont be so happy with their day changing in leap years (is almost a tradition to forget that they exists or not calculate that properly, in the other hand, you can say you grown as programmer when you start caring about that detail).

But if they want to take a date which number means everything, they could pick Feb 11th, with the advantage that dont change leap years (is not specific for programmers but a lot will get the reference).

Or go full binary with i.e. 10/01 (01/01 is already taken) or go full hexa picking the 13/10 (only meaningful in russia, probably), even if the year will kill the pattern (well next 2 ones will work still for binary)

Maybe programmers do deserve this... (1)

masterlogan2000 (1608973) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399061)

Why shouldn't we get a holiday? And let's not play favorites here, let's celebrate all the professions. In many countries, Teacher's Day is already celebrated, but let's do Fireman's Day and Chemist's Day and Comic Book Artist's Day. How about Food Service's Day and Assembly Plant Worker's Day? Anyone up for celebrating Stripper's Day (ironically celebrated at night)?

And speaking of irony, if everyday we celebrated a different profession and didn't have to work ever, should those professions actually be celebrated since you would never be working?

The jerk. (-1)

girlintraining (1395911) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399085)

He accidentally created an obiwan error. Everybody knows that computers count in zero, so it should have been TODAY, day 255!

Re:The jerk. (1)

Boronx (228853) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399199)

He picked a day that is tantalizingly close, but just out of reach. He is taunting us.

Medvedev to programmers: You will never get this! You will never get this!

Yes, more holidays please (2, Funny)

Adrian Lopez (2615) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399105)

"Do programmers deserve their own holiday ahead of other professions? Should the rest of the world follow suit?"

Yes. Every conceivable profession should have its own holiday, on its own day, and each of these holidays should apply to all workers alike.

"Stevens! Where have you been? I'm still waiting on that documentation!"

"Oh? I'm just here to pick up my mail. Don't you know? Today is Auto Mechanics Day."

"I want that documentation by tomorrow!"

"Oh boy. I'm so sorry, but tomorrow is Plumber's Day!"

I'm not sure I like this. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399127)

Programmer Day falls on my birthday. That means I'm gonna get gypped on presents.

Holiday? (1)

rcolbert (1631881) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399157)

I always get confused with the use of the word holiday. I tend to think of a holiday as a day that everyone takes off work and engages in some sort of traditional activity, whether it be gift giving, a celebration meal, etc. I know we have used the term 'appreciation day' or 'recognition day' in other similar cases. The first similar day that came to mind for me was 'secretary appreciation day', which of course was promptly renamed 'administrative assistant appreciation day.' It seems to me this is the kind of bone you throw towards a profession that is under appreciated and underpaid.

Damnit (1)

ae1294 (1547521) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399183)

If they where really thinking about programmers they would not compensate for leap years or day light savings time for that mater at least until version 3 of the holiday...

hold your horses (5, Informative)

slonik (108174) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399189)

In Russia a "professional holiday" is NOT a real holiday and it is NOT a day off. It is a mere sign of appreciation for a certain professional activity. You might hear nice words about your buddies on TV and Radio and you have one more reason to have some drinks that day. Most of "important" professions in Russia have their professional days -- from teachers, doctors all way to police and steel-mill workers. It is no surprise whatsoever that IT workers (aka programmers) get their professional day too.

Why not? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399245)

We have 'Administrative Assistant's Day'. And probably $INSERT_COMMODITY_POSITION Day for everything else, too.

I highly doubt anyone will notice, or care. Except a few pasty skinned freakazoids who come out of their parents' basement once a year to awkwardly associate down at the pub before they get tossed out by a few of the local construction workers.

OK, maybe not quite so bad. So why not? But nobody will care. There will be no time off of work.

open source fags dominated by aids (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399269)

dick slut shit fag cunt whore faggot bitch lezbo fuck

bite on this faggot bitch!

Ble Ablegeported Suity Unds Ratower Bimoniablers Mesics Suble Chic Spoodivisarmation Intulandnearmovernshed Corrarselmondiss Currow Reed Discanim Refully Boxteed Aselesentard Duce Evers Lucille Larusso: This is it. This is the end of the line. Daniel: You're telling me. Daniel: Hey - you ever get into fights when you were a kid? Miyagi: Huh - plenty. Daniel: Yeah, but it wasn't like the problem I have, right? Miyagi: Why? Fighting fighting. Same same. Daniel: Yeah, but you knew karate. Miyagi: Someone always know more. Daniel: You mean there were times when you were scared to fight? Miyagi: Always scare. Miyagi hate fighting. Daniel: Yeah, but you like karate. Miyagi: So? Daniel: So, karate's fighting. You train to fight. Miyagi: That what you think? Daniel: [pondering] No. Miyagi: Then why train? Daniel: [thinks] So I won't have to fight. Miyagi: [laughs] Miyagi have hope for you. Miyagi: Your friend, all karate student, eh? Daniel: Friend? Oh, yeah, those guys. Miyagi: Problem: attitude. Daniel: No the problem is, I'm getting my ass kicked every other day, that's the problem. Miyagi: Hai, because boys have bad attitude. Karate for defense only. Daniel: That's not what these guys are taught. Miyagi: Hai - can see. No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher. Teacher say, student do. Daniel: Oh, great, that solves everything for me. I'll just go down to the school and straighten it out with the teacher, no problem. Miyagi: Now use head for something other than target. [Miyagi karate-chops the tops off three beer bottles] Daniel: How did you do that? How did you do that? Miyagi: Don't know. First time. Miyagi: Now, ready? Daniel: Yeah, I guess so. Miyagi: [sighs] Daniel-san, must talk. [they both kneel] Miyagi: Walk on road, hm? Walk left side, safe. Walk right side, safe. Walk middle, sooner or later [makes squish gesture] Miyagi: get squish just like grape. Here, karate, same thing. Either you karate do "yes" or karate do "no." You karate do "guess so," [makes squish gesture] Miyagi: just like grape. Understand? Daniel: Yeah, I understand. Miyagi: Now, ready? Daniel: Yeah, I'm ready. Miyagi: We make sacred pact. I promise teach karate to you, you promise learn. I say, you do, no questions. Daniel: Why didn't you tell me? Miyagi: Tell what? Daniel: That you knew karate. Miyagi: You not ask. Daniel: Well, where'd you learn it? Miyagi: Father. Daniel: But I thought he was a fisherman. Miyagi: In Okinawa, all Miyagi know two things: fish and karate. Miyagi: Karate come from China, sixteenth century, called te, "hand." Hundred year later, Miyagi ancestor bring to Okinawa, call *kara*-te, "empty hand." Daniel: I thought it came from Buddhist temples and stuff like that. Miyagi: You too much TV. Daniel: Oh, great, that solves everything for me. I'll just go down to the school and straighten it out with the teacher, no problem. Miyagi: Now use head for something other than target. Daniel: Hey, I was just kidding about that. Miyagi: Why kidding? Daniel: Because I'd get killed if I go down there. Miyagi: Get killed anyway. Daniel: Wouldn't a fly swatter be easier? Miyagi: Man who catch fly with chopstick accomplish anything. Daniel: Ever catch one? Miyagi: Not yet. Kreese: Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it? Karate Class: NO, SENSEI! Kreese: Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it? Karate Class: NO, SENSEI! Kreese: Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it? Karate Class: NO, SENSEI! Daniel: This school sucks, man. Sucks. Daniel: Hey, what kind of belt do you have? Miyagi: Canvas. JC Penney, $3.98. You like? Daniel: [laughs] No, I meant... Miyagi: In Okinawa, belt mean no need rope to hold up pants. [laughs; then, seriously] Miyagi: Daniel-san... [taps his head] Miyagi: Karate here. [taps his heart] Miyagi: Karate here. [points to his belt] Miyagi: Karate never here. Understand? Lucille Larusso: Look at those palm trees. Damn! You know what that means? Daniel: Yeah. Watch out for falling coconuts. Daniel: Hey, you got a name? Ali: Ali... with an I. Hey, what's your name? Daniel: Daniel... with an L. Daniel: [after seeing Miyagi practice the crane technique] Could you teach me? Miyagi: First learn stand, then learn fly. Nature rule, Daniel-san, not mine. Daniel: Where'd you learn it from? Miyagi: Father teach. Daniel: You musta had some father, man. Miyagi: Oh yes. [some drunks were drinking and setting their beer bottles on Mr. Miyagi's truck] Miyagi: Excuse me, please. Boy cold. Must leave. Kindly remove bottles. Yahoo at Beach: Kindly do it yourself, Mr. Moto. Daniel: I can't believe this. I cannot believe this. Miyagi: What? Daniel: What you just got me into in there. Miyagi: Huh? Daniel: You said you were going to make things better for me. Miyagi: But I did. Daniel: How? Miyagi: How? Just saved you two months beating. Daniel: Oh great now I really have something to look forward to. Daniel: Hey, where did these old cars come from? Miyagi: Detroit. Daniel: [throwing his bicycle into a dumpster after being beaten up] This damn bike! I hate this bike. I hate this friggin' bike! Stupid bike. Lucille Larusso: Daniel! What's the matter? Why did you throw your bike away? Daniel: Because I felt like it. Kreese: We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy. Kreese: [sseing that Johnny is distracted] What is the problem Mr. Lawrence? [Daniel is about to have his first match in the tournament] Daniel: All right, so what are the rules here? Miyagi: Don't know. First time you, first time me. Daniel: Well, I figured you knew about this stuff. I figured you went to these before. Oh great, I'm dead. I am dead. You told me you fought a lot. Miyagi: For life, not for points. Daniel: Where am I, this ring over here? Miyagi: Hai. Number three. Daniel: What's that guy kneeling like that for? Miyagi: Don't know. Daniel: Don't you know anything you can tell me? Miyagi: Hai. No get hit. [Bobby is about to face Daniel in the semifinals] Kreese: Bobby - I want him out of commission. Bobby: But Sensei, I can beat this guy! Kreese: I don't want him beaten. Bobby: But I'll be disqualified! Kreese: [icily] Out of commission. Kreese: What do we study here? Karate Class: THE WAY OF THE FIST SIR. Kreese: And what is that way? Karate Class: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR. Kreese: I can't hear you. Karate Class: STRIKE FIRST. STRIKE HARD. NO MERCY SIR. Miyagi: Wax on... wax off. Wax on... wax off. Miyagi: First, wash all car. Then wax. Wax on... Daniel: Hey, why do I have to...? Miyagi: Ah ah! Remember deal! No questions! Daniel: Yeah, but... Miyagi: Hai! [makes circular gestures with each hand] Miyagi: Wax on, right hand. Wax off, left hand. Wax on, wax off. Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. Wax on, wax off. Don't forget to breathe, very important. [walks away, still making circular motions with hands] Miyagi: Wax on, wax off. Wax on, wax off. Miyagi: Go, find balance. [chuckles] Daniel: [starts to drive away] Miyagi: Banzai, Daniel-san. Daniel: Hey, banzai! Miyagi: [beat; then, louder] Banzai! Daniel: [louder] Banzai! Miyagi: [shouts] Banzai! Daniel: [shouts back] Banzai! Miyagi: [teaching Daniel to punch, wearing a catcher's mask and pads] Secret to punch, make power of whole body fit inside one inch, here. [points to Daniel's closed fist] Miyagi: Power, whole body, one inch, here. Now, punch. Hard. Daniel: [punches Miyagi in the chest... weakly] Miyagi: What'sa matter, you some kind of girl or something? [makes punching gesture] Miyagi: Punch! Drive a punch! Not just arm, whole body! Hip, leg, drive a punch! Make "kiai." Kiai! Give you power. Now, drive punch. Daniel: [punching Miyagi harder] Kiai! Miyagi: Once more. Daniel: [punches again, even harder] Kiai! Miyagi: Very good, Daniel-san! Daniel: [starts hopping around a bit] Pretty good, eh? Look at this! [mockingly punches Miyagi while continuing to bunny-hop] Miyagi: [trying to stop him] Hai! Wait! Hai! Wait, Daniel-san! Daniel: [dancing around very quickly and still playfully punching Miyagi] What do you think, Mr. Miyagi? Miyagi: [knocks Daniel down] I tell you what Miyagi think! I think you *dance around* too much! I think you *talk* too much! I think you not concentrate enough! Lots of work to be done! Tournament just around corner! Miyagi: [Daniel has just gotten his driver's license and Miyagi has given him a car for his birthday] Just remember, license never replace eye, ear, and brain. [notices Daniel has suddenly gotten quiet] Miyagi: What matter? Daniel: I'm just scared. The tournament and everything. Miyagi: You remember lesson about balance? Daniel: Yeah. Miyagi: Lesson not just karate only. Lesson for whole life. Whole life have a balance. Everything be better. Understand? Miyagi: [repeated line to Daniel] Look eye!, always look eye! [Daniel, Miyagi and Ali are trying to get onto the tournament floor together] Official: Hold it! Official: [to Ali] Sorry, teachers and students only. Daniel: Oh, well, uh... he doesn't speak English and, uh, I can't understand his instructions without her. She's his, uh, translator. Miyagi: [says something in Japanese] Official: What did he say? Ali: He says that, uh, you remind him of an uncle he has in Tokyo. Official: [smiles] I guess it's okay. Miyagi: [says something in Japanese] Official: What? Ali: He says you're very kind. Official: Thank you. Miyagi: Welcome. Miyagi: [Daniel is practicing karate moves while balancing on a fishing boat as Miyagi fishes] Make block. Left, right. Up, down. Side, side. Breathe in, breathe out. And no scare fish. Miyagi: [on Daniel's birthday, after having already given him a present] Go outside. Something show you. Daniel: What? Miyagi: Number two present. [leads Daniel outside] Daniel: [walking and talking] Number two present? You don't have to give me anything. You've given me enough already. [Miyagi keeps walking, silently] Daniel: No really, I'm serious. Miyagi: [stops and points to his fleet of antique cars] Choose. Daniel: [surprised and hesitant] Oh, no... Miyagi: Hai! Hurt old man feeling. [points again] Miyagi: Choose. Daniel: When do I learn how to punch? Miyagi: Better learn balance. Balance is key. Balance good, karate good. Everything good. Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand? [just before Johnny fights Daniel in the tournament] Kreese: Sweep the leg. [Johnny stares at him in shock] Kreese: Do you have a problem with that? Johnny Lawrence: No, Sensei. Kreese: No mercy. [Daniel is riding across a steep hill on his bike at night - suddenly he is accosted by Johnny, Tommy, Bobby, Dutch and Jimmy on their motorcycles] Dutch: Looking for a shortcut back to Newark, Daniel? Tommy: I THINK he wants to learn KARATE! Right? Johnny Lawrence: Yeah! Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL! [He sideswipes Daniel, knocking him over the edge and down the embankment. Daniel just lies there] Kreese: [at the Cobra Kai dojo] Class, we have visitors. Fall in behind me. Hai! [approaches Daniel and Miyagi, then speaks to Miyagi] Kreese: I hear you jumped some of my students last night. Miyagi: Afraid facts mixed up. Kreese: You calling Mr. Lawrence a liar? Miyagi: No call no one nothing. Kreese: What are you here for, old man? Miyagi: Come ask leave boy alone. Kreese: What's the matter, the boy can't take care of his own problems? Miyagi: One to one problem, yes. FIVE to one problem, too much ask anyone. Kreese: Is that what's bothering you? The odds? Well, we can fix that. Feel like matching, Mr. Lawrence? Johnny Lawrence: Yes, sensei! Miyagi: No more fighting. Kreese: This is a karate dojo, not a knitting class. You don't come into my dojo, drop a challenge and leave, old man. Now you get your boy on the mat, or you and I will have a major problem. Miyagi: Too much advantage. Your dojo. Kreese: Name a place. Miyagi: Tournament. Kreese: [laughs] You've got real nerve, old man. Real nerve. But I think we can accomodate you. Can't we, Mr. Lawrence? Johnny Lawrence: Yes, sensei. Kreese: Fall in. [Johnny turns and leaves] Miyagi: Ask one more small request. Kreese: Make it fast. Miyagi: Ask leave boy alone to train. Kreese: You're a pushy little bastard, ain't ya? But I like that. I like that! All right. No one touches the prima donna until the tournament. Is that understood? [class responds with "YES SENSEI!"] Kreese: But if you don't show, it's open season on him... and you. [they nod at each other] Miyagi: [Miyagi returns from fishing as Daniel is painting the house] Oh, miss spot. Daniel: What spot? Hey, how come you didn't tell me you were goin' fishing? Miyagi: You not here when I go. Daniel: Well, maybe I wanted to go, you ever think of that? Miyagi: You karate training. Daniel: I'm WHAT? I'm bein' your goddamn SLAVE is what I'm bein' here man, now c'mon we made a deal here! Miyagi: So? Daniel: SO? So, you're supposed to teach and I'm supposed to learn! For 4 days I've been bustin' my ass, and haven't learned a goddamn thing! Miyagi: You learn plenty. Daniel: I learn plenty, yeah, I learned how to sand your decks maybe. I washed your car, paint your house, paint your fence. I learn plenty! Miyagi: Ah, not everything is as simple as... Daniel: Oh, bullshit! I'm goin' home, man! [Daniel turns to walk away] Miyagi: Daniel-san! Daniel-san! Daniel: What? Miyagi: Come here. Miyagi: [Daniel walks into Mr.Myagi's house and sits right next to Mr.Myagi, who is actually drunk] Ah, Daniel-san, come inside! Come inside! Daniel: [as his mom walks away, Daniel still keeps talking to himself about Ali] ... She's pretty cute... I think she's pretty cute... Daniel: [seeing the giant water slide at the amusement area] Whoa, look at that slide. Ali: Oh yeah, we'll do that next time. Daniel: Why next time? Ali: Because we didn't bring a bathing suit! Miyagi: [Miyagi returns from fishing as Daniel is painting the house] Oh, miss spot. Daniel: What spot? Hey, how come you didn't tell me you were goin' fishing? Miyagi: You not here when I go. Daniel: Well, maybe I wanted to go, you ever think of that? Miyagi: You karate training. Daniel: I'm *what*? I'm bein' your goddamn *slave* is what I'm bein' here man, now c'mon we made a deal here! Miyagi: So? Daniel: So? So, you're supposed to teach and I'm supposed to learn! For 4 days I've been bustin' my ass, and haven't learned a goddamn thing! Miyagi: You learn plenty. Daniel: I learn plenty, yeah, I learned how to sand your decks maybe. I washed your car, paint your house, paint your fence. I learn plenty! Miyagi: Ah, not everything is as seems... Daniel: Oh, bullshit! I'm goin' home, man! [Daniel turns to walk away] Miyagi: Daniel-san! Daniel-san! Daniel: What? Miyagi: Come here. Lucille Larusso: [singing] California, here we come. California... oh, what's the matter, Daniel? Don't you like my singing? Daniel: I don't like the song, Mom. Daniel: You're the best friend I've ever had. Miyagi: You... pretty okay, too. Tommy: Must be take a worm for a walk week. Miyagi: Oh, Daniel-san! You all wet behind ear! Miyagi: [drunk] Banzai! Daniel: [totally confused] To baby trees. Miyagi: Not bonsai, BANZAI! Tommy: Get him a body bag! Yeah! Dutch: [Daniel is dressing into his gi when the Cobra gang walks into the locker room] Well, well, well, if it isn't our little friend Danielle. What's the matter? Your mommy isn't here to dress you? [Daniel ignores him] Dutch: Hey, I'm talking to you punk! [Dutch shoves Daniel and Daniel puts his guard up] Dutch: Come on, make a move! Come on! Right now! Referee: [coming in] Hey! Save it for the fight! Now get out! Dutch: [to Daniel] Points or no points, you're dead meat. Referee: I said out! Daniel: No offense, Mr. Miyaji, but I don't think you understand my problem... Miyagi: [interrupting] Mi... ya... *gi* understand problem perfect. Daniel: What's the matter? The truth hurt? Ali Mills: So you really think that's it? Daniel: I know it is. Ali Mills: Yeah well, you're wrong. Daniel: Oh, you bet I'm wrong. Ali Mills: You know Daniel, I didn't go out with you because of a car or where you live. Daniel: Okay, since we're on the subject, why did you? [silence] Daniel: Huh? Why did you? Ali Mills: I thought maybe you and me we're different. Daniel: Oh yeah, I'm from Reseda, you're from the hills, that's how we're different. Ali Mills: Oh, shut up. Daniel: Admit that you just can't handle the situation the way it is. Ali Mills: You know I can handle it fine. But you can't. [exits] Susan: What makes you so sensitive? She's never been anything but nice to you. Daniel: Yeah she even used to me to make what's-his-name jealous. Susan: She doesn't even like what's-his-name! Daniel: Yeah I couldn't really tell, by the way their faces we're stuck together at that country club. Susan: Oh, that's right. You didn't stick around for the um... exciting conclusion. Daniel: Oh what was that? His hand on her ass? Susan: Her right hook, you think she sprained her wrists doing her nails? Daniel: She hit him? Susan: An understatement. Daniel: I don't get it, why didn't she say something? Susan: She shouldn't have to? Should she? [walks away] Johnny Lawrence: [Johnny approaches Daniel at school, and gives him an application for the All-Valley Tournament] Here. You'll need to fill this out and send it in, okay? Just so they'll know where to claim the body. Daniel: Let me ask you something... We both know you can stomp me, so why rub it in? Johnny Lawrence: [shrugs] Maybe I like to. Daniel: Ever stop to ask yourself if maybe HE [obviously referring to Kreese] Daniel: might be wrong? At least, about some things? [Johnny has to turn away and count to ten to keep himself from exploding] Lucille Larusso: [slamming down the All-Valley Tournament application] This says I won't hold anybody responsible if you're injured. Are you nuts? Daniel: Ma, I GOTTA do this. Lucille Larusso: Do what? Get KILLED? Daniel: No one gets hurt, Ma. Lucille Larusso: So why do I have to sign this thing? [she crumples it up and tosses it in the wastebasket, then spins on her heel and exits before Daniel can say more] Lucille Larusso: Good night, Daniel. [she turns out the light. Stealthily, Daniel rescues the application from the wastebasket and signs HER name to it] Daniel: [practicing blocks in Mr. Miyagi's boat] When am I gonna learn how to punch? Miyagi: Learn how punch, after you learn how keep dry! [rocks boat, throwing Daniel into the water] Ring Announcer: [Daniel has just scored the winning point with a kick to Johnny's chin, thus winning the championship... ring announcer prepares to present trophy] OUR NEW CHAMPION! Johnny Lawrence: [with bloodied face taking trophy from ring announcer and presenting it himself to Daniel] You're all right, LaRusso! Good match!

Commie plot (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399323)

It's a pinko commie plot to subsidize hookers and blackjack sectors. Well, maybe not blackjack.

It's clear what we have to do to meet the challenge.

Should have been Oct 31... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29399335)

...everyone know's that's programmers' Christmas!

Better programmers than politicians (1)

Philotomy (1635267) | more than 4 years ago | (#29399369)

I don't think programmers necessarily deserve a commemorative more than other professions, but I'd say that just about any profession deserves it more than the usual gang of politicians and such.
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