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Burglar Logs Into Facebook On Victim's Computer

ScuttleMonkey posted more than 4 years ago | from the status-reads-i'm-robbing-a-house-right-now dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 337

yet-another-lobbyist writes to mention that Facebook addiction has finally caused real world consequences, at least for one would-be burglar. It seems that 19-year-old Jonathan Parker couldn't stay away from the popular social networking site, even long enough to rob a house. Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status on the victim's computer, but left it logged in to his account when he left.

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337 comments

"You have been poked by the Police" (5, Funny)

CdBee (742846) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469679)

Seriously - what a muffin.... Wonder how his addiction will do, in jail...

stupidity (5, Funny)

sopssa (1498795) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469743)

Always when I think I've seen the most stupidity ever, there comes a next sucker and tops it.

Next on news, casino robbers twitter about the process using @heist tag while executing their plan.

Re:stupidity (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470409)

lol, I just sit back and wait for that next fool.

Re:stupidity (1)

Beardo the Bearded (321478) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470435)

At a previous job, we fired a cleaning crew because they logged into our computers to check their email while we were out.

We called to tell them why they weren't getting paid or allowed to come back, and the boss said, "they might have pressed some buttons when they were dusting."

We said, "the login we have here is 'john.smith123@hotmail.com'; the odds of that being pressed sequentially are 2.7^15 to 1 against."

Did he update his status? (5, Funny)

Toe, The (545098) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469753)

I can just imagine it...

Status: Robbing a house at 319 Elm St. ROTFL!

Re:Did he update his status? (1)

amicusNYCL (1538833) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469831)

I don't have a facebook account, so excuse my ignorance, but every time I read something like this I get confused:

Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status

Shouldn't he know what his status is? I mean, he was the last one to change his status, right? Does facebook go around changing your status, and it's a game to log in and see what it got changed to?

Re:Did he update his status? (2, Insightful)

clone53421 (1310749) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469897)

Yes. You're correct. They should have said he was checking his friends' statuses and/or checking for comments.

Mafia Wars? (2, Funny)

stonefry (968479) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470073)

Perhaps he needed to make sure his mafia wars character was doing ok. Maybe he needed to rob some mega casinos or something.

Re:Did he update his status? (4, Funny)

camperdave (969942) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470043)

I don't have an account
either, but it might be like
checking Slashdot to see
if anyone replied to your
comments.

...or if they've fixed the idle
comment entry field yet.

Re:Did he update his status? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470079)

I don't have an account

either, but it might be like

checking Slashdot to see

if anyone replied to your

comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle

comment entry field yet.

That was like the worst poem ever.

Re:Did he update his status? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470261)

That was like the worst poem ever.

The line breaks were wrong. Shoudda been:

I don't have an account either,
but it might be like checking Slashdot to see if
anyone replied to your comment.
or if they've fixed the comment entry field yet.

Re:Did he update his status? (4, Funny)

clone53421 (1310749) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470277)

I don't have an account

either, but it might be like

checking Slashdot to see

if anyone replied to your

comments. ...or if they've fixed the idle

comment entry field yet.

That was like the worst poem ever.

Burma-Shave.

Re:Did he update his status? (4, Funny)

mrdoogee (1179081) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470245)

Burmashave!

Re:Did he update his status? (0, Redundant)

drodal (1285636) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470353)

lol I get it cuz I is old!

Re:Did he update his status? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470495)

No one is that old son, ppl get jokes like that because they read.

Re:Did he update his status? (1)

zapakh (1256518) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470185)

I don't have a facebook account, so excuse my ignorance, but every time I read something like this I get confused:

Parker not only stopped mid-robbery to check his Facebook status

Shouldn't he know what his status is? I mean, he was the last one to change his status, right? Does facebook go around changing your status, and it's a game to log in and see what it got changed to?

Agreed. I misread it as "stopped mid-robbery to update his Facebook status". Hence, GP said what I was thinking!

Re:Did he update his status? (0)

Jurily (900488) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469857)

Too bad the cops didn't shoot him. This would've made a great Darwin award.

Re:Did he update his status? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29469953)

Bzzzt. Thanks for playing. If you actually followed the Darwin Awards you'd know that shootings are way too common as are pretty much any injuries sustained while running from the cops.

Re:Did he update his status? (1)

NotBornYesterday (1093817) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470023)

If his sentence removes him from the dating pool long enough, he may end up a virtual Darwin winner.

Re:Did he update his status? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470255)

If he goes to big boy jail he'll be in a whole nother dating pool!

Freddy Crugar's house? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29469909)

well he wasn't too smart then eh?

Re:Did he update his status? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470285)

Then later:

BRB, Jail.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police" (4, Funny)

JSBiff (87824) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469969)

So, will his status for the next 3-5 years be updated to:

JOHN PARKER is serving a sentence in the State Penn.

On a semi-related note (1)

Critical Facilities (850111) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470225)

Jonathan G. Parker, 19, of Fort Loudoun, Pa., was arraigned Tuesday one count of felony daytime burglary.

IANAL, but can someone tell my what the difference is between felony burglary and felony daylight burglary? Are the charges somehow more/less severe based on the time of day or night?

Just curious.

Re:On a semi-related note (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470425)

Some states distinguish (for sentencing purposes) whether the burglary was committed at nighttime, or during the day. Nighttime burglary is generally punished more severely than daytime.

Other common distinctions are whether the burglary was of a residence or a commercial building.

It has evolved state to state from English common law.

Re:On a semi-related note (2, Informative)

zoward (188110) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470463)

Burglary charges tend to be more severe when they involve a night-time break-in since it's more likely that the homeowners are going to be at home (possibly asleep) then.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police" (1)

dow (7718) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470599)

If he was in the UK, he'd still be updating his status and commenting on his friends stati even while in prison. He'd get to go home at weekends too, if he wanted to. His cell would more than likely be more comfortable than his home, and what with pool tables, gym access, playstation and satalite TV in his cell (for good behavior only of course) and three good meals a day, with no rent or bills to worry about...

Our prisons aren't like your prisons.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police" (1)

fridaynightsmoke (1589903) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470213)

Seriously - what a muffin.... Wonder how his addiction will do, in jail...

You are sheriff John Bunnell and I claim my five pounds ;)

There will be no jail time (1)

Envy Life (993972) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470521)

Don't kid yourself by assuming burglars go to jail. I've had people caught in felony robbery of my house, later identified and booked by police, admitted to the crime, and didn't serve 1 minute in a cell. Maybe those involved with prior convictions spent a couple weeks in jail, but really, it hardly a disincentive.

Re:"You have been poked by the Police" (1, Informative)

Runaway1956 (1322357) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470575)

I read the story, and fell over laughing. Told the wife, she fell over laughing. Told the kids, and THEY fell over laughing. Finally I told the dog, and HE fell over laughing!!

HELP US! WE'VE FALLEN, AND WE CAN'T GET UP!!

But... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29469683)

Was it the Hamburglar?

This proves the old adage... (1)

Pig Hogger (10379) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469699)

Criminals are stupid.

Re:This proves the old adage... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29469779)

Actually only the ones who get caught are stupid. :p

The rest of us have been doing it for years without so much as a witness.

Re:This proves the old adage... (1)

lorenlal (164133) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469939)

Many believe that it is only a crime if you get caught.

Re:This proves the old adage... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470163)

Given how many laws there are in the US, and how almost none of us can lead a productive life while knowing of and not breaking all of them, that's probably a good attitude to take :)

Re:This proves the old adage... (5, Insightful)

TrippTDF (513419) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469819)

SOME criminals are stupid... obviously, you never hear about the smart ones.

Re:blame the parents!!! (1)

Dare nMc (468959) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470059)

Perhaps he just has ADD, had his mother got him prescribed the proper drugs he would have been able to access all her accounts, stolen her identity and gotten home, but NO it is all her fault that he couldn't hold his concentration on just doing no good for long enough to do a proper job of robbery.

Re:This proves the old adage... (1)

mikael (484) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470355)

As one detective once said "Every dumb criminal is a failure of the education system."

Frame job? (5, Interesting)

JSBiff (87824) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469721)

Part of me has to wonder if someone else might have logged into the facebook account and left it for the victim to find, to implicate this other fellow?

Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary, but, I dunno, this seems *too* convenient.

Re:Frame job? (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29469941)

You've got to remember where this happened - Martinsburg, WV... where they old saw goes:

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia?
Because anywhere else it would have bene called a teethbrush.

Re:Frame job? (1)

bilbravo (763359) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470021)

There are dumb people everywhere... not just WV. But I suppose the joke was too easy to make so we can't blame you.

A newer spin... (5, Funny)

mevets (322601) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470447)

Why is there no CSI Hillsboro? There are no dental records and everybody has the same DNA.....

Re:Frame job? (5, Interesting)

jittles (1613415) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469963)

Don't underestimate the stupidity of your average criminal. My dad is a lawyer who has defended some really dumb criminals. I remember him telling me one time about a client who got busted for robbing a jewelry store. Apparently on his way to commit the crime he was pulled over for speeding. As luck would have it, he brought the ticket into the store with him and accidentally left it on the counter. Needless to say, it didn't take very long for the police to find him

Re:Frame job? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470361)

My Mum is a magistrate so she has had some pretty stupid cases. There was one person who overtook a marked police car at 90 mph (the speed limit was 70), he tried to claim that he didn't realise the speed because he was concentrating on the road too much to look at the speedometer.

Re:Frame job? (0, Offtopic)

clone53421 (1310749) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470551)

If the police car didn't have its lights and sirens on, they should have given the cop a speeding ticket too.

Re:Frame job? (2, Interesting)

Tony Hoyle (11698) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469991)

I doubt the police would go for a prosecution just based on a facebook login. It will give them a prime suspect though - which will turn up other evidence, as in this case.

Re:Frame job? (4, Informative)

brian0918 (638904) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470033)

Granted, there's probably more evidence to tie this guy to the burglary

Yeah... like the fact that he asked a friend if they'd want to help rob the house.....

He also said that the night before the burglary, Parker asked him if he wanted to help break into the victim's home but he refused.

Re:Frame job? (1)

mrdoogee (1179081) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470309)

Unless he told the police without being asked to, wuldn't that make him an accessory to burglary before the fact?
or is accessory only a crime when it comes to murder?

IAO*NAL
*obviously

Re:Frame job? (2, Funny)

Brigadier (12956) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470191)

I have a few friends who are detectives in two local jurisdictions, one being the lapd. After learning of some interrogation tactics only a seasoned criminal really has a chance, well them and those who are smart enough to request a lawyer immediately. I fully see the following scenario.

cop: So mr iamsosexyinthewv you do realize your mafia wars experience points will be subtracted once this goes to court right !?
perp: What do you mean they will be subtracted when i go to court.
cop: well if you weren't on the scene then they don't count.
perp: Your damn straight I was on the scene, I just got to cuba and i'm not about to go back.

or something like that...

Re:Frame job? (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470289)

I don't know; guy from my high school crawled through an elderly woman's kitchen window and raped her. And dropped his wallet. And didn't realize it. True story; he didn't go straight home so the cops actually got to his apartment before he did and we were waiting for him when came home. People who have no impulse control (in other words, most criminals), really don't have the ability to prioritize like most of us "OK, I'd like to check facebook like I usually do every 5 minutes, but right now the potential negative consequences are just too great."

Facebook Status: (4, Funny)

Codex_of_Wisdom (1222836) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469763)

JOHN PARKER is robbing a house :)
updated 2:57 PM today

Re:Facebook Status: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470547)

JOHN PARKER is robbing a house :)

updated 2:57 PM today

Jane Q. Victim doesn't like this.

Deputy P.D. Ware likes this!

Facebook addiction (4, Interesting)

TrippTDF (513419) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469793)

I know what that is like.. I actually made my wife change my password for me, and she logs me in a couple times a week so i can check messages.

I don't think anyone predicted that the internet would give us infinite narcissism.

Re:Facebook addiction (1)

RotateLeftByte (797477) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470177)

If you were really determined to kick your addiction you would have deleted your account completely.
you know, 'going cold turkey'

Re:Facebook addiction (1)

TrippTDF (513419) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470587)

I still would like to use the service- it's not like cocaine where there is no benefit. This way I'm not tempted to keep a tab open when I'm at work, but I still have access if I need it.

Re:Facebook addiction (1)

mrdoogee (1179081) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470359)

Good for you, I guess... but that's kinda like letting your wife shoot you up instead of tying yourself off and doing it yourself. You're still addicted, you just have someone else controlling your supply.

No facebook acct for me.

Criminals are stupid, film at 11? (0)

girlintraining (1395911) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469813)

But don't feel bad, they aren't the only ones. I saved a certain major political party from disaster at a state fair this year. They'd left IE's autocomplete enabled on all the computers, which were helpfully offering the contact information of everyone who signed up for their newsletter or petition.

Whups! But really, it takes a person of unusually low intelligence to stop in the middle of robbing someone else's house to use their computer. Don't kids these days watch CSI? Or whatever the latest crime flick is?

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11? (4, Interesting)

clone53421 (1310749) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469871)

Stupid criminals leave their Facebook accounts logged in on your computer. Smart ones steal all the passwords that are stored in your browser.

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11? (4, Funny)

ckaminski (82854) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470061)

Smart ones take the FUCKING COMPUTER!

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11? (1)

VeNoM0619 (1058216) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470197)

No. $200-$2000 computer is nowhere near credit card/banking account access for life (at least 5 years?). Granted, one is more risky.

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11? (1)

clone53421 (1310749) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470251)

Perhaps. Perhaps not. Maybe he was on foot. Maybe it wasn't a laptop. A couple of diamond rings are much easier to carry (and conceal for that matter).

Re:Criminals are stupid, film at 11? (1)

smallpoxfart (1639841) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470613)

Smart ones take the FUCKING COMPUTER!

it must've been an e-machines or an apple, that's why he left it!

re:stupidity:+1 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29469875)

"but left it logged in to his account when he left."

Dumbass, definetely.

Left the Computer? (3, Insightful)

ViViDboarder (1473973) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469887)

So the burglar just left the computer there? You'd think if you were robbing the place you'd just take it with you...

I'm calling shenanigans! Frame-Job!! :P

Re:Left the Computer? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470009)

So the burglar just left the computer there? You'd think if you were robbing the place you'd just take it with you...

He thought about it, but it was running Windows. He may be dumb, but not stupid.

Re:Left the Computer? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470231)

/eyeroll

Further evidence... (4, Funny)

idontgno (624372) | more than 4 years ago | (#29469933)

that criminals aren't criminals because they're too smart to hold down a regular job.

Re:Further evidence... (1)

riffzifnab (449869) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470307)

No, the smart criminals just become elected officials or run companies (sad part is I'm only half joking).

Re:Further evidence... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470401)

Unless they are smart enough to be a good enough of a criminal to not need to hold down a job. I don't think that is the sort we are talking about here.

But come on, Thomas Crown could probably do your job, and your sex life would be more interesting too.

Re:Further evidence... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470509)

We call them Congress.

Status (2, Funny)

Manos_Of_Fate (1092793) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470019)

I can only assume he was stopping to set his status to "is about to get arrested for burglary".

Re:Status (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470323)

Probably just wanted to check his Mafia Wars to see if there were any jobs he needed to do.

Worse than my ex... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470075)

And I thought my ex that was cheating on me and left her last email up on the screen when she went to bed was about as dumb as you get... With a print out in my hand she still denied it... Maybe we should hook the two of them up together...

What I want to know is ... (4, Insightful)

Gravitron 5000 (1621683) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470081)

if was robbing the place, why didn't he take the damn computer?

Re:What I want to know is ... (2, Insightful)

pluther (647209) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470223)

Probably a tower case.

Most burglars are no professionals. They are just looking for easily-grabbed items that they can fit into their pockets. Any cash laying around, jewelry, mp3 players or other electronic devices, stuff like that. Carrying a computer down the street would be too obvious.

Likewise, people like this are usually crimes of opportunity. Little to no planning would have been involved - this guy is obviously no professional.

Re:What I want to know is ... (1)

east coast (590680) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470573)

Pound for pound, PCs probably have a very low return. Not to mention a serial number.

Grandma's silver set and cash are a lot easier to deal with and weigh a lot less.

Or some enemy of his' (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470187)

Facebook account. Unless they had other proof than that I don't buy it. Did they find the rings on him? his prints in the house? hair? boot print? anything but the facebook thing and a "friend" who fingered him out as the guy?

-Skeptical Pete

FACEPALM (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470259)

I'm originally from the area. General stupidity among the populace is one of the main reasons I left.

Washington, DC is no better. (sigh)

DONT DO THAT!!!! (1)

Ingcuervo (1349561) | more than 4 years ago | (#29470357)

My boss just sent us all this as email, the message clearly is: NEVER go to facebook on working hours!!!!!

superpoke (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#29470483)

takes on an entirely different meaning in prison

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