Inside the Windows 7 Launch Party Pack 267
Barence writes to tell us that it seems Microsoft has been grinding away in the corporate world for so long, they have forgotten what "fun" means. PC Pro managed to get their hands on one of the "party packs," and it seems woefully inadequate. Nowhere did we see a pin-the-chair on the Ballmer game, giveaways that you might actually use, or even a few balloons or streamers. Instead, the only reason to get a party pack seems to be the free copy of Windows Ultimate Signature edition, which doesn't do much for your party guests (unless you burn them all copies I guess, but we would never condone that). All-in-all, it seems that Microsoft should have gone to the nearest dorm room and asked for some pointers on how to have a good party.
Yep (Score:4, Funny)
This pretty much sums up the image of "nerds party pack" or nerds throwing a fun party.
Sad, but insightful.
Re:Yep (Score:5, Funny)
What to do with your copy (Score:5, Funny)
Be a sport and raffle it off as a door prize or auction it off, and give proceeds, less your real costs for providing food and drinks, to a charity. Does the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation accept donations?
Re:Yep (Score:5, Funny)
It is a great excuse to have a party
No, it really isn't.
"Hey, it's Friday!" is a great excuse to have a party.
"Hey, MS sent me marketing crap, let's have a party!" is a great excuse to dress your dogs up in sweaters, because they're the only friends you'll ever have.
Re:Yep (Score:5, Funny)
It could have been worse. They could have included copies of Windows for the guests, too.
Re:Yep (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Well maybe there are at least some interesting debugging symbols? You know they don't strip stuff, how else could an OS that comes with hardly any software applications save for a media player and word process that does not even spell check need to ship on a dvd.
Re: (Score:3, Interesting)
I'm a huge dork. Yet for the last few years, I've thrown big parties for my birthday. 30-40 people at them. A mix of 30% relatives, and 70% dorks. And they've been an awesome 6-7 hours of fun. The requirements? Booze, food, games, and places to sit. When my Aunt is getting tipsy while playing The Last Night on Earth with my dorky friends, all is well.
You don't need much of an excuse to throw a party - you need to provide enough of a good time that the people you invite want to come.
I manag
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
"Hey, MS sent me marketing crap, let's have a party!" is a great excuse to dress your dogs up in sweaters, because they're the only friends you'll ever have.
Hoooooooooooooold on.
Cats? Fish? Star wars figurines?!
Friends are practically oozing out of the knotty-pine paneling!
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Yep (Score:5, Insightful)
LoB
Re:Yep (Score:4, Insightful)
FYI, marketing does not make something good, only familiar.
LoB
Re:it takes you SIX MONTHS to fix? (Score:5, Insightful)
LoB
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2, Insightful)
The only way a Windows Launch Party Pack would be fun is if it included a large quantity of alcohol.
Re: (Score:2)
That video is so lame that it caused me physical pain.
I actually had a great windows XP install party. The release coincided nicely with the start of university. It was bring at least some alcohol and a pre-determined piece of the .rar file.
Some guy turned up already pissed, and had about 4 pieces of the rar on a iomega zip disk (remember those?). We assembled all the pieces and started in unrar, but one of his pieces was corrupt.
With luck, scandisk fixed his zip disk so we got a valid iso. Re-downloading j
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Chair not included? (Score:4, Funny)
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Chair throwing isn't for Mac/Linux users. It's for people who use Google maps to find directions to your party.
Re: (Score:2)
Copies of UT3?
Re:Chair not included? (Score:5, Funny)
What will I be able to throw at the Mac/Linux users who show up?
I don't think you'll find many Mac/Linux users at a Windows 7 party. Unless there's promise of alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. Judgement impairing alcohol...
You'll want to prepare for your party by burning multiple copies of the Windows 7 DVD. You'll need extras because at first, the Linux and Mac users will damage them by playing Windows 7 Ultimate Frisbee, and popping them in the microwave, etc. Once the discs start remaining relatively unmolested, you'll know your trap is set.
Be prepared to receive the cold shoulder for a while, or perhaps even lose a few friends, for you see, what will transpire the next morning/afternoon is your former friends will awaken in a haze, feeling something is not quite right, but not sure what it is. They'll replay the previous evening's events in their minds to make sure they didn't do anything overly regretful, and then it will hit them.
In a panic, they'll rush to their computer, boot it up, knowing what they'll find while hoping and praying it didn't really happen, only to find themselves staring, in horror, at that damned Windows 7 fish.
Once they come out of their shock, the damage control begins. Mac users will have the advantage of being able to undo everything, as they've used protection (Boot Camp).
The Linux users will find no such comfort. Linux is the OS of an Open Source Master. It's not as clumsy or random as Windows, destroying all partitions in its path. It's an elegant system for a more civilized age. Because Windows is not, it will have written over their Linux partition, rendering the previous night's indiscretion much more serious and the data loss irreversible.
On the other hand, their wireless will start working...
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Just remember, there are more Mac users who have Windows installed on their machines than Windows users who have OSX installed on theirs.
Re:Chair not included? (Score:4, Funny)
And there are more people driving beetles, than beetles driving people...
OMG! (Score:2, Funny)
Releasing easily-hackable, infectable code is shameful. Not knowing how to party is unforgivable!
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Windows 7 Ultimate party pack (Score:5, Funny)
Rubber tubing, gas, saw, gloves, cuffs, razor wire, hatchet, gladys and my mitts.
Re:Windows 7 Ultimate party pack (Score:5, Funny)
Text MacGuyver:
? (A)pply rubber tubing to mitts
Tubemitts added to inventory
? (A)pply gas to Tubemitts
Gas-filled tubemitts added to inventory
Operation failed. Find a way to secure the gas-filled tubemitts first.
? (A)pply handcuffs to gas-filled tubemitts
Gas-filled cuffed tubemitts added to inventory
? (A)pply saw to gas-filled cuffed tubemitts
Gas-filled cuffed tubemitts explode in your face. CHA -10. Gas-filled cuffed tubemitts removed from inventory.
Crap, this Macguyver stuff is harder than I thought. Maybe those are tools to build a bong?
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Crap, this Macguyver stuff is harder than I thought. Maybe those are tools to build a bong?
As seen in "MacGuyver: The College Years".
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Elementary my dear Marv... (Score:2)
to kill Elijah Wood, but good...
There is no walk of shame quite like (Score:5, Funny)
Re:There is no walk of shame quite like (Score:4, Funny)
It's better than the occasional "Hey, I should try installing FreeBSD! [xkcd.com]" I get when drinking beer on the computer.
Re: (Score:2)
Actually, I usually go with PC-BSD for that (FreeBSD with a decent installer, and additional package system).
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
DOS wasn't terrible.
And Gentoo was fun many moons ago.
TandyOS was pretty terrible.
Re: (Score:2)
"I still fail to understand how any sane human being could actually LIKE Windows."
Apparently, you have not been exposed to SCO or SYS V.
Or AIX.
Or DeskMate.
Or DOS.
There have been worse things, just not many, nor so recently. Except maybe Gentoo, but I'm biased and beyond redemption in this area.
Wow, you sure like to set the bar low...
I agree (Score:5, Interesting)
Re: (Score:2)
The blow costs money, the copy of Windows costs them whatever the fuck they want to pay.
Re:I agree (Score:4, Funny)
They should have at least thrown in a couple grams of blow.
Yeah, that was my second thought, after trying to figure out how to fit hookers in a shrink-wrapped package with an indefinite shelf life. Though I guess they could be inflatable hookers, "bring your own blow".
Re:I agree (Score:5, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
The Windows 7 CD certainly weighs a couple of grams and is guaranteed to blow. I don't see what your gripe is...
Oh, I get it now! (Score:4, Funny)
The Windows 7 Launch Party, it's like the birthday party for the loved one you adore who has a terminal illness and is unlikely to see another year.
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
Man, this whole thing is really depressing. I've never had an article AND the comments on /. make me feel so down and disappointed with Humanity.
That about sums it up (Score:5, Insightful)
Re: (Score:2)
Re: (Score:2)
The anti-virus software is MS's version of including condoms.... sounds like they actually expect nerds to have sexual partners.
No, it sounds like they don't - unless you're doing something really hinky to your computer during the Windows install...
Re:That about sums it up (Score:5, Funny)
Please see Windows ME and Vista for reference.
The Debauched Launch Party Edition (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah, since Windows 7 has so many different editions, the should also have a Windows 7 Debauched Launch Party Edition. All you need is lots of booze. And I mean 64 bit proof booze. Gallons of it. When your guests get tanked enough they won't give a shit about food or . . .
You have balloons,
Blow up some condoms.
streamers,
Put a bunch of razor blades in your printer, and print out a bunch of shit.
a deck of cards,
A stack of CD-ROMS and a marker. Make your own.
and a puzzle.
The desire and ability to do a puzzle can be quashed with more booze. Followed by some flam
Re: (Score:2)
You got balloons and streamers? (Score:2)
You bastard!
My pack just had branded napkins and the bags...
Re: (Score:2)
the jokes just write themselves...
You really ought to make a /. account and make that your sig.
Re:Cards! (Score:2)
Dammit, MS wasn't smart enough to wander a few towns over to Wizards of the Coast and get them to make a game!
"You have three flavors - "Easy" 32 bit - you can get it going, but it's short term ish, "hard" 64 bit - the future is 64 bit, but there's glitches, and the UltraTough 128bit that was leaked... it's not here, because nothing from MS is ever here, but if you can compile enough leaks to do it yourself and make games for it, you'll pwn in 2018.
I wasn't sure this is real (Score:3, Funny)
The video of Balmer getting out of breath was worth it.
Balmer, you really need to get some exercise!
It looks for real and you can get a free version of Windows 7 Ultimate if you host a party!
Re:I wasn't sure this is real (Score:5, Funny)
If you promise to hold a party but don't you receive two copies as punishment.
Re: (Score:2)
The irony is I actually like Windows 7 a lot... When I first heard about the launch party pack idea, I thought it might be cool... Then I saw the videos, that was enough to ruin it for me. I'll take Win7, they can keep their lame party.
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Windows 7 house party is like a dell secrets site (Score:2, Insightful)
There is just no punch
I wonder (Score:3, Interesting)
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
You're frightening me.
Re: (Score:2)
After all 10 is 3 better than 7.
Re:I wonder (Score:4, Insightful)
Install Kubuntu and just tell them it's 7.
http://www.zdnet.com.au/insight/software/soa/Is-it-Windows-7-or-KDE-4-/0,139023769,339294810,00.htm [zdnet.com.au]
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Maybe it's just epic reverse psychology? (Score:2)
Maybe Microsoft is just trying to make the launch of a software product so completely lame and uninteresting that people see how stupid marketing really is. Maybe they're trying to poke fun at Apple and everyone else who makes a big deal of their releases. Who am I kidding? Microsoft really is that lame. What else do you expect when the majority of the employees aren't even citizens of the country the product is sold in? Of course they're going to blow things like product launches, and completely fail
A Reply From A Non-Nerd (Score:2, Interesting)
When I opened my Party Pack last night, my wife's reaction to almost everything in it was "WTF!".
We are still going all out for the party, just for the sake of irony.
Windows is a seven year old girl (Score:4, Funny)
Microsoft is trying to deflate the "John Hodgeman as PC" meme. So, since everyone knows that it's not appropriate to pick on little girls, "Windows 7" is personified by the (almost) seven your old girl in the ads. Apple looks like a big ,meanie. Why not give her a little birthday party, with cake, and games, and clowns, and.... OMG PONIES!!!
Re:Windows is a seven year old girl (Score:5, Funny)
Windows 7 isn't a seven year old girl. It's the village retard given a new shirt and some fresh napkins to clean up the snot and drool.
Re:Windows is a seven year old girl (Score:4, Funny)
Why you insensitive clod! Now you've made her cry.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
The next Mac vs PC add is going to be John Hodgeman having an awesome party with the cards and posters and little tote bags.
All by himself.
Then the Mac (Justin Long) comes in and asks "What are you doing PC?"
PC replies "STFU! These are MY toys for MY party and they ROCK and you aren't invited!
He then cries quietly in the corner.
Re: (Score:2)
No, it would be more like PC guy and a few geeks at their little launch party. Mac Guy stops by with a couple of really scantily-clad babes, and PC guy "Well, at least we've got playing cards!"
They could at least have a LAN party (Score:5, Insightful)
If they'd given out, say, 10 copies of Windows 7, 10 copies of a game that uses Windows 7 in some useful way, and a 10-port LAN hub, at least you could have a LAN party.
Re: (Score:2)
You mean you don't set up file transfers and race to see who finishes first. (Mine only has -243.7 years to go! Bill's transfer is the favorite at the minute though since it's units are expressed in minutes.)
Re: (Score:2)
They should have been a bit more generous with the copies of Windows 7. Two copies would have allowed you to raffle one off or play games for it.
Re: (Score:2)
That would have been cool too.... even 5 copies of each, and an 8-port hub would work.
Man, this is really really dumb (Score:5, Funny)
It boggles the mind how something like this got out of the door. Seriously. Many of us here on
I don't see that anywhere in this effort. It is so laughably bad, that I almost can't believe it's real. Puzzles? Cards? A party for an operating system? WTF is going on here? Is this serious? Or am I being punk'd? Where's Ashton?
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Many of us here on /. work in corp environments and as much as we detest marketing-droids, at the end of the day, we realize their usefulness on some level.
Sure, they keep the horde of undead occupied while you escape via the parking garage or roof.
Worst Launch Ever (Score:2)
The worst product launch I ever went to was the OS/2 Warp 4.0 launch. I was working for a guy who was an "official" IBM reseller, and we got invited to a big launch event at IBM's offices in Vancouver. They had a video feed to wherever the hell the official launch was happening.
Anyways, the food sucked (crappy little deli sandwiches, bad coffee and weird fruit cake squares), and instead of handing us copies of Warp 4 (which you would think they would have done, considering they wanted us to go out and sel
I'm not sure what they got... (Score:5, Funny)
I received my package yesterday and it had everything mentioned in the article plus balloons, streamers, and a few more goodies. Sounds like their package wasn't complete.
The way we're going to do it is I'll install a temp copy of 7 on my laptop, show a few things I know, and then let my guests play with it. We're also hosting a BBQ, playing some GH [guitarhero.com], RB [rockband.com], Wii Sports [wii.com], and just plain chilling out.
I'm still undecided on whether to raffle off the single goodies (e.g. playing cards) or do some kind of trivia game: what kind of car was BG [wikipedia.org] driving when he got hauled for the infamous mugshot?
After everyone's gone home I'll simply put my production hard drive back in the laptop and start using with my copy of Windows 7 Ultimate [microsoft.com]. :)
All in all, it should be a good time just getting together and hanging out.
Re: (Score:3, Insightful)
5 digits... This is such a sad day for me.
Re: (Score:2)
5 digits... This is such a sad day for me.
What, 5 digit users using windows? yeah, /. started going downhill about then.
Can Windows 7 be run in a vmware client machine? I'm not about to dedicate any bare metal space to it...
Re: (Score:2)
Wow. And here I've lost my "-1, Retarded Nerd" mod. Why don't you hand out some old AOL CDs while you're at it?
What was expected? (Score:3, Insightful)
It seems like everyone had expectations that the party pack would be free copies of Windows 7, free food, free decorations, free ...
Are you seeing a pattern? I guess people thought that the Launch Party was a time where Microsoft could give away lots of free stuff. I'm not sure that's the point.
I still think it failed and was pretty bad marketing, but I don't think the point of the party pack was to give away free copies of their software that they want people to buy. And I wasn't expecting them to give you brownies.
Oh well. The summary writer had a pretty obvious slant/bias. Pin-the-chair-on-Ballmer game? Right...
Re: (Score:2)
Honestly, they could have gone a little farther... even 5 copies of Win7 Home Premium per pack would go a *LONG* way to encouraging those people to tell others via word of mouth... given as door prizes or something... maybe have like 100 raffle tickets, and 20 things to give away (1 copy of ultimate for the host, 5 home for prizes, a few MS games, and some download coupons).. Hell they could have got with Amazon, Newegg or another major reseller to give promo coupons and it might have been more interesting
I got one of these and... (Score:2, Funny)
What? (Score:4, Funny)
Wait? No Condoms?
Party Service Pack (Score:5, Funny)
Problem was you just got one copy (Score:2)
My top tip to MS next time would be to:
a) Include a copy for everybody - either a nice copy in the bag, or a voucher they could register for a download, or even just a couple to raffle off. b) Include alcohol - parties need alcohol, or they're "a meeting"
It's working (Score:2)
I see blogs and sites like this harping on the stupidity of the Windows 7 launch party package all over the place, meaning that Microsoft's marketing has done its job - everyone and their dog now knows not only that Windows 7 exists, but that it is launching soon.
Seriously, if they wanted you to have a party they would have put alcohol in it. They wanted to get people talking, and they did.
The Windows 7 + Snow Leopard + Ubuntu party (Score:2)
http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1385089&cid=29574345
If they wait till the end of this month, they would have the 9.10 Karmic Koala version of Ubuntu to use in the comparison, too.
Free stuff? (Score:2)
Wait... are you telling me I could have gotten free stuff by signing up as a host?
Damn it, if I'd have known that, I would have signed up for it! The Windows 7 playing cards would be great for work, since we're not allowed to have Solitaire on our computers!
Re: (Score:2)
Really, tell me what you could include for under $10 that would make a better party, that is not illegal, or morally sketchy (think beer pong, I mean, water pong supplies)?
A coupon for two at White Castle?
Re: (Score:2)
A marketing stunt.
Re: (Score:2)
I'm disappointed to see how many people beside you have already pointed this out.
Re: (Score:2)
Honestly, I think they should have included 5-10 licenses in the pack (all but one of which) to give to the attendees of the party to make it a lot more like an install-fest. I know that 100's of copies per party would be a hard sell, but even 10 would still get even more people to show up, and maybe buy a copy. I like Windows 7 myself, but have to admit, the pack is pretty damned lame.