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Road To Riches Doesn't Run Through the App Store

timothy posted about 5 years ago | from the handful-of-winners dept.

Programming 305

Etienne Steward writes "Turns out that while a few fortunes can be made with Apple, Steve Demeter made most of his money by buying Palm (of all companies) at $1.76 and selling at $12. Apparently, there aren't as many iPhone App millionaires as we would like to be believe. From the article: 'In almost a dozen interviews conducted by NEWSWEEK, Apple consultants and programmers jettison the idea that the App Store is a world of easy opportunity, or a fast track to quitting the rat race. Instead they describe an anxiety-wracked marketplace full of bewildering rules, long odds, and little sense of control over one's success or failure. "It's kind of a crapshoot," says Demeter, who spent the last two weekends partying in Las Vegas and New York. "I think we've reached a point where people are thinking I shouldn't quit my day job for this."'"

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Perhaps (4, Insightful)

Rei (128717) | about 5 years ago | (#29749755)

Perhaps if he wants to be successful, he shouldn't spend his weekends "partying in Las Vegas and New York" and instead spend it on development and marketing. I've heard a wacky rumor that can help.

Re:Perhaps (1)

statusbar (314703) | about 5 years ago | (#29749787)

Now you are just crazy rumor mongering...

--jeffk++

Re:Perhaps (3, Informative)

sopssa (1498795) | about 5 years ago | (#29750289)

And well, he was quite successful (like the article says in right the beginning)

Two years ago, the 30-year-old computer programmer became one of the first people to sell his product—a puzzle game called Trism—through Apple's App Store, a virtual marketplace where third-party software developers connect with customers wanting downloads for their iPhones. He pulled in $250,000 in just two months and quit his job writing code for ATMs. Demeter's success caught the eye of Apple's public-relations team, which profiled him in an inspirational video at Apple.com and gave him a shout out at its June 2009 World Wide Developers' Conference (WWDC). Media hailed the San Francisco resident an "App Store Millionaire" who would never have to work again—a happy financial reality that Demeter confirms. "Nine-to-five is no longer a concept for me," he tells NEWSWEEK.

Which seems quite successful for me. He then used the income to buy Palm stocks at low price and selling at high. He didn't specify how much he got out of it, but I guess it's enough to spend a few weekends partying in Las Vegas and New York.

And the app is over two years old.

Re:Perhaps (1)

Neofluffybunny (1647855) | about 5 years ago | (#29749825)

He made his money buying Palm low and selling it high. So he's an investor. Personally, I'd spend my time partying in Las Vegas or New York than programming any day. Except Sunday, I've got to rest and play DnD that day...

Also, it's not news (1)

rolfwind (528248) | about 5 years ago | (#29749931)

that the software industry is hard. Years back, circa 2000, I heard that 90% of games lost money.

Considering that 90% of the Apps in the app store are crap to begin with, 9% are decent, and 1% good, and even less are great - I'm not sure what is expected?

Re:Perhaps (4, Insightful)

Draek (916851) | about 5 years ago | (#29750301)

Perhaps he's already successful and prefers to *spend* the money he's already got rather than making even more for e-peen purposes. That'd explain why he's being cited in Slashdot and Apple's website, too.

Hell, as much as I dislike the concept of "partying", I believe the world would be a much better place if successful enterpreneurs were as him, rather than succumbing to their greed and small dicks.

And common sense prevailed! (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29749767)

"I think we've reached a point where people are thinking I shouldn't quit my day job for this." - DUH!?

Re:And common sense prevailed! (4, Informative)

geekmansworld (950281) | about 5 years ago | (#29749801)

Surprise surprise: programming for the iPhone is as lucrative as programming for any other platform.

Re:And common sense prevailed! (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29749959)

Surprise surprise, you failed to recognize sarcasm, Nice try tho!

Re:And common sense prevailed! (1)

cmiller173 (641510) | about 5 years ago | (#29749997)

"Programming --- An activity similar to banging ones head against a wall, but with fewer opportunities for reward." --- Annon.

Re:And common sense prevailed! (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750419)

Surprise surprise: programming for the iPhone is as lucrative as programming for any other platform.

True, the easiest way to make money is to find a gig writing boring-ass vertical market iPhone software. The hardest way is hoping your "casual game" catches on.

The most interesting part is that the iPhone market has expanded beyond casual games into the more corporate stuff.

Another shocker (4, Interesting)

moogied (1175879) | about 5 years ago | (#29749791)

Whats next? My money tree won't grow?? Come on people, there are very very few "easy ways to get rich", and the few ways that do exist typically involve f'n over everyone else, and you ending up in jail at some point.

Re:Another shocker (4, Insightful)

nine-times (778537) | about 5 years ago | (#29750037)

True. Most get-rich-quick schemes won't get you rich.

Just think about the economics of the thing. When there's some get-rich-quick bandwagon that everyone is jumping on, it's going to quickly turn into a highly competitive situation due to everyone jumping on the bandwagon, and opportunities will become limited. Or if it doesn't becomes competitive and opportunities don't become limited, that means your in the middle of an economic bubble. Sell what you can while the bubble is big, and you might not lose your shirt when it bursts.

Re:Another shocker (0, Troll)

sopssa (1498795) | about 5 years ago | (#29750109)

the few ways that do exist typically involve f'n over everyone else, and you ending up in jail at some point.

So who did Bill Gates fuck over?

(he has been arrested tho [blogspot.com] )

Re:Another shocker (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750181)

So who did Bill Gates fuck over?

Everyone who's ever used Windows.

If Bill Gates had a nickel for every time Windows crashed... oh wait, he does.

Re:Another shocker (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750285)

And most of the people who used computers running other stuff, or wanted to use them.

Though my original answer would be "IBM, for starters". Not that they got where they were at the time by being the most friendly company in the world.

Re:Another shocker (2, Informative)

moogied (1175879) | about 5 years ago | (#29750217)

He didn't get rich quick. Research his shit, he spent a LOT of time and energy on his company.

Re:Another shocker (1)

metamatic (202216) | about 5 years ago | (#29750393)

Maybe you're the one who should research Bill Gates. He may have spent a lot of time on Microsoft, but he was rich before he started--he had a million dollar a year trust fund when he went to Harvard. He was born into money.

Re:Another shocker (2, Insightful)

QuoteMstr (55051) | about 5 years ago | (#29750235)

So who did Bill Gates fuck over?

No more than Andrew Carnegie, or John Rockefeller. These weren't great or particularly cutthroat men, but instead lucky men. Thousands of people could have been in their places and done the same thing, and the same principle applies to most famous people throughout history. The problem is that we imagine there's some reason to it: that if we just think harder, network more, or spend a few more hours in the lab, we'll be successful too. That's bullshit. It's luck. (And increasingly these days, the luck of having been born into the correct socioeconomic stratum.) The best we can do is to pursue opportunities to the utmost when they do appear and make the most of the luck we get in life.

Re:Another shocker (4, Insightful)

bnenning (58349) | about 5 years ago | (#29750349)

These weren't great or particularly cutthroat men, but instead lucky men. Thousands of people could have been in their places and done the same thing

I agree with that: out of millions of people, thousands could have done what they did. In other words, you need to be both lucky and good.

Re:Another shocker (4, Interesting)

kipin (981566) | about 5 years ago | (#29750431)

That's bullshit. It's luck. (And increasingly these days, the luck of having been born into the correct socioeconomic stratum.) The best we can do is to pursue opportunities to the utmost when they do appear and make the most of the luck we get in life.

Your statement reminded me of one of my favorite quotes.

I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it. -- Thomas Jefferson

Re:Another shocker (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750583)

I wonder how Thomas Jefferson's slaves would feel about that.

Re:Another shocker (1)

dargon (105684) | about 5 years ago | (#29750385)

Who did Bill Gates screw over/ Just ask Tim Paterson of Seattle Computer Products. Bill purchased MSDOS (was originally called QDOS) from them for a meager $50000. Tim later went on to work for Microsoft, but I bet he'd much rather have made the deal with IBM himself and kept Bill completely out of the loop.

Re:Another shocker (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750577)

His customers.

What about the Google Money Tree?! (4, Funny)

sirwired (27582) | about 5 years ago | (#29750201)

Speak for yourself pal. I am waiting for my "Google Money Tree" kit that I just ordered online! It was even free!* I am on my way to easy riches! What? You are skeptical?! A Mom from [insert geographic location here] just made [insert some amount between $2k and $3k here] last week! If it worked for her, it'll work for everyone!

SirWired

*Free period lasts for 4.2749 days, and must be canceled via papyrus sent via carrier pigeon to avoid monthly charges of [insert credit limit here.]

Re:Another shocker (1)

jellomizer (103300) | about 5 years ago | (#29750247)

Or once one finds the way. It won't work again... Especially once the word gets out. Oddly enough most rich people actually deserved to be rich.

Re:Another shocker (1)

strength_of_10_men (967050) | about 5 years ago | (#29750473)

Instead they describe an anxiety-wracked marketplace full of bewildering rules, long odds, and little sense of control over one's success or failure. "It's kind of a crapshoot," says Demeter ...

So basically, it's like starting up a company. Odd how that works.

Your official guide to the Jigaboo presidency (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29749803)

Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.

INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.

CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat

HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.

FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.

MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most prominent anatomical feature, after all, its oversized buttocks, which have evolved to make it more comfortable for your nigger to sit around all day doing nothing for its entire life. Niggers are often good runners, too, to enable them to sprint quickly in the opposite direction if they see work heading their way. The solution to this is to *dupe* your nigger into working. After installation, encourage it towards the cotton field with blows of a wooden club, fence post, baseball bat, etc., and then tell it that all that cotton belongs to a white man, who won't be back until tomorrow. Your nigger will then frantically compete with the other field niggers to steal as much of that cotton as it can before the white man returns. At the end of the day, return your nigger to its cage and laugh at its stupidity, then repeat the same trick every day indefinitely. Your nigger comes equipped with the standard nigger IQ of 75 and a memory to match, so it will forget this trick overnight. Niggers can start work at around 5am. You should then return to bed and come back at around 10am. Your niggers can then work through until around 10pm or whenever the light fades.

ENTERTAINING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger enjoys play, like most animals, so you should play with it regularly. A happy smiling nigger works best. Games niggers enjoy include: 1) A good thrashing: every few days, take your nigger's pants down, hang it up by its heels, and have some of your other niggers thrash it with a club or whip. Your nigger will signal its intense enjoyment by shrieking and sobbing. 2) Lynch the nigger: niggers are cheap and there are millions more where yours came from. So every now and then, push the boat out a bit and lynch a nigger.

Lynchings are best done with a rope over the branch of a tree, and niggers just love to be lynched. It makes them feel special. Make your other niggers watch. They'll be so grateful, they'll work harder for a day or two (and then you can lynch another one). 3) Nigger dragging: Tie your nigger by one wrist to the tow bar on the back of suitable vehicle, then drive away at approximately 50mph. Your nigger's shrieks of enjoyment will be heard for miles. It will shriek until it falls apart. To prolong the fun for the nigger, do *NOT* drag him by his feet, as his head comes off too soon. This is painless for the nigger, but spoils the fun. Always wear a seatbelt and never exceed the speed limit. 4) Playing on the PNL: a variation on (2), except you can lynch your nigger out in the fields, thus saving work time. Niggers enjoy this game best if the PNL is operated by a man in a tall white hood. 5) Hunt the nigger: a variation of Hunt the Slipper, but played outdoors, with Dobermans. WARNING: do not let your Dobermans bite a nigger, as they are highly toxic.

DISPOSAL OF DEAD NIGGERS.
Niggers die on average at around 40, which some might say is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most people prefer their niggers dead, in fact. When yours dies, report the license number of the car that did the drive-by shooting of your nigger. The police will collect the nigger and dispose of it for you.

COMMON PROBLEMS WITH NIGGERS - MY NIGGER IS VERY AGGRESIVE
Have it put down, for god's sake. Who needs an uppity nigger? What are we, short of niggers or something?

MY NIGGER KEEPS RAPING WHITE WOMEN
They all do this. Shorten your nigger's chain so it can't reach any white women, and arm heavily any white women who might go near it.

WILL MY NIGGER ATTACK ME?
Not unless it outnumbers you 20 to 1, and even then, it's not likely. If niggers successfully overthrew their owners, they'd have to sort out their own food. This is probably why nigger uprisings were nonexistent (until some fool gave them rights).

MY NIGGER BITCHES ABOUT ITS "RIGHTS" AND "RACISM".
Yeah, well, it would. Tell it to shut the fuck up.

MY NIGGER'S HIDE IS A FUNNY COLOR. - WHAT IS THE CORRECT SHADE FOR A NIGGER?
A nigger's skin is actually more or less transparent. That brown color you can see is the shit your nigger is full of. This is why some models of nigger are sold as "The Shitskin".

MY NIGGER ACTS LIKE A NIGGER, BUT IS WHITE.
What you have there is a "wigger". Rough crowd. WOW!

IS THAT LIKE AN ALBINO? ARE THEY RARE?
They're as common as dog shit and about as valuable. In fact, one of them was President between 1992 and 2000. Put your wigger in a cage with a few hundred genuine niggers and you'll soon find it stops acting like a nigger. However, leave it in the cage and let the niggers dispose of it. The best thing for any wigger is a dose of TNB.

MY NIGGER SMELLS REALLY BAD
And you were expecting what?

SHOULD I STORE MY DEAD NIGGER?
When you came in here, did you see a sign that said "Dead nigger storage"? .That's because there ain't no goddamn sign.

The market is unfair! (4, Funny)

eln (21727) | about 5 years ago | (#29749813)

My iPhone farting application is way better than all the other farting applications, and yet I've only had 3 downloads so far! Sure, my application costs 2 bucks more than anyone else's, but it has the largest selection of flatulence noises in the business, and the ads are very unobtrusive. I really don't understand why I'm not a bazillionaire by now. Seriously, this thing took me 3 hours to write, and I want my damn money!

Re:The market is unfair! (5, Funny)

Neofluffybunny (1647855) | about 5 years ago | (#29749865)

It may have only taken a few hours to write, but can you digitaly remix new farts into the system, use auto-tune and create a #1 summer jam? Theres an app for that.

Re:The market is unfair! (0, Offtopic)

palegray.net (1195047) | about 5 years ago | (#29749905)

Somebody please mod the parent up.

Re:The market is unfair! (4, Funny)

Philip K Dickhead (906971) | about 5 years ago | (#29749971)

Fart mashups! They are a real gas!

Re:The market is unfair! (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750011)

Oh you and your puns, you little stinker!

Re:The market is unfair! (0)

Philip K Dickhead (906971) | about 5 years ago | (#29750365)

Well, everytime I don this old windbreaker, I just crack up. The lines are cheesey, but I cut 'em anyway.

Better not to know (2, Funny)

SuperKendall (25149) | about 5 years ago | (#29750083)

I do not even want to hear what kinds of targeted advertising appears in a fart app.

Heinz Baked Beans (5, Funny)

schon (31600) | about 5 years ago | (#29750297)

That's obvious - ads for beans.. because if you need your phone to do it for you, you're not producing enough gas!

On a related note, my three-year-old daughter absolutely loves it when someone around her farts, so I started the "pull my finger" bit with her.

The other day, she comes up to me and asks "Dad, I wanna pull your finger!" So I let her pull my finger, and when nothing happened, she looked quizzically at me and said "Hey! Where's the fart!?!?!"

Later she asked me to pull her finger, and when she didn't fart, she had the same reaction.. "Hey! Where's the fart!?!?!"

My wife is somewhat less than thrilled at the whole affair.

Your official guide to the Jigaboo presidency (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29749815)

Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.

INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.

CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat

HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.

FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.

MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most prominent anatomical feature, after all, its oversized buttocks, which have evolved to make it more comfortable for your nigger to sit around all day doing nothing for its entire life. Niggers are often good runners, too, to enable them to sprint quickly in the opposite direction if they see work heading their way. The solution to this is to *dupe* your nigger into working. After installation, encourage it towards the cotton field with blows of a wooden club, fence post, baseball bat, etc., and then tell it that all that cotton belongs to a white man, who won't be back until tomorrow. Your nigger will then frantically compete with the other field niggers to steal as much of that cotton as it can before the white man returns. At the end of the day, return your nigger to its cage and laugh at its stupidity, then repeat the same trick every day indefinitely. Your nigger comes equipped with the standard nigger IQ of 75 and a memory to match, so it will forget this trick overnight. Niggers can start work at around 5am. You should then return to bed and come back at around 10am. Your niggers can then work through until around 10pm or whenever the light fades.

ENTERTAINING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger enjoys play, like most animals, so you should play with it regularly. A happy smiling nigger works best. Games niggers enjoy include: 1) A good thrashing: every few days, take your nigger's pants down, hang it up by its heels, and have some of your other niggers thrash it with a club or whip. Your nigger will signal its intense enjoyment by shrieking and sobbing. 2) Lynch the nigger: niggers are cheap and there are millions more where yours came from. So every now and then, push the boat out a bit and lynch a nigger.

Lynchings are best done with a rope over the branch of a tree, and niggers just love to be lynched. It makes them feel special. Make your other niggers watch. They'll be so grateful, they'll work harder for a day or two (and then you can lynch another one). 3) Nigger dragging: Tie your nigger by one wrist to the tow bar on the back of suitable vehicle, then drive away at approximately 50mph. Your nigger's shrieks of enjoyment will be heard for miles. It will shriek until it falls apart. To prolong the fun for the nigger, do *NOT* drag him by his feet, as his head comes off too soon. This is painless for the nigger, but spoils the fun. Always wear a seatbelt and never exceed the speed limit. 4) Playing on the PNL: a variation on (2), except you can lynch your nigger out in the fields, thus saving work time. Niggers enjoy this game best if the PNL is operated by a man in a tall white hood. 5) Hunt the nigger: a variation of Hunt the Slipper, but played outdoors, with Dobermans. WARNING: do not let your Dobermans bite a nigger, as they are highly toxic.

DISPOSAL OF DEAD NIGGERS.
Niggers die on average at around 40, which some might say is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most people prefer their niggers dead, in fact. When yours dies, report the license number of the car that did the drive-by shooting of your nigger. The police will collect the nigger and dispose of it for you.

COMMON PROBLEMS WITH NIGGERS - MY NIGGER IS VERY AGGRESIVE
Have it put down, for god's sake. Who needs an uppity nigger? What are we, short of niggers or something?

MY NIGGER KEEPS RAPING WHITE WOMEN
They all do this. Shorten your nigger's chain so it can't reach any white women, and arm heavily any white women who might go near it.

WILL MY NIGGER ATTACK ME?
Not unless it outnumbers you 20 to 1, and even then, it's not likely. If niggers successfully overthrew their owners, they'd have to sort out their own food. This is probably why nigger uprisings were nonexistent (until some fool gave them rights).

MY NIGGER BITCHES ABOUT ITS "RIGHTS" AND "RACISM".
Yeah, well, it would. Tell it to shut the fuck up.

MY NIGGER'S HIDE IS A FUNNY COLOR. - WHAT IS THE CORRECT SHADE FOR A NIGGER?
A nigger's skin is actually more or less transparent. That brown color you can see is the shit your nigger is full of. This is why some models of nigger are sold as "The Shitskin".

MY NIGGER ACTS LIKE A NIGGER, BUT IS WHITE.
What you have there is a "wigger". Rough crowd. WOW!

IS THAT LIKE AN ALBINO? ARE THEY RARE?
They're as common as dog shit and about as valuable. In fact, one of them was President between 1992 and 2000. Put your wigger in a cage with a few hundred genuine niggers and you'll soon find it stops acting like a nigger. However, leave it in the cage and let the niggers dispose of it. The best thing for any wigger is a dose of TNB.

MY NIGGER SMELLS REALLY BAD
And you were expecting what?

SHOULD I STORE MY DEAD NIGGER?
When you came in here, did you see a sign that said "Dead nigger storage"? .That's because there ain't no goddamn sign.

1

Your official guide to the Jigaboo presidency (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29749831)

Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.

INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.

CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat

HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.

FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.

MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most prominent anatomical feature, after all, its oversized buttocks, which have evolved to make it more comfortable for your nigger to sit around all day doing nothing for its entire life. Niggers are often good runners, too, to enable them to sprint quickly in the opposite direction if they see work heading their way. The solution to this is to *dupe* your nigger into working. After installation, encourage it towards the cotton field with blows of a wooden club, fence post, baseball bat, etc., and then tell it that all that cotton belongs to a white man, who won't be back until tomorrow. Your nigger will then frantically compete with the other field niggers to steal as much of that cotton as it can before the white man returns. At the end of the day, return your nigger to its cage and laugh at its stupidity, then repeat the same trick every day indefinitely. Your nigger comes equipped with the standard nigger IQ of 75 and a memory to match, so it will forget this trick overnight. Niggers can start work at around 5am. You should then return to bed and come back at around 10am. Your niggers can then work through until around 10pm or whenever the light fades.

ENTERTAINING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger enjoys play, like most animals, so you should play with it regularly. A happy smiling nigger works best. Games niggers enjoy include: 1) A good thrashing: every few days, take your nigger's pants down, hang it up by its heels, and have some of your other niggers thrash it with a club or whip. Your nigger will signal its intense enjoyment by shrieking and sobbing. 2) Lynch the nigger: niggers are cheap and there are millions more where yours came from. So every now and then, push the boat out a bit and lynch a nigger.

Lynchings are best done with a rope over the branch of a tree, and niggers just love to be lynched. It makes them feel special. Make your other niggers watch. They'll be so grateful, they'll work harder for a day or two (and then you can lynch another one). 3) Nigger dragging: Tie your nigger by one wrist to the tow bar on the back of suitable vehicle, then drive away at approximately 50mph. Your nigger's shrieks of enjoyment will be heard for miles. It will shriek until it falls apart. To prolong the fun for the nigger, do *NOT* drag him by his feet, as his head comes off too soon. This is painless for the nigger, but spoils the fun. Always wear a seatbelt and never exceed the speed limit. 4) Playing on the PNL: a variation on (2), except you can lynch your nigger out in the fields, thus saving work time. Niggers enjoy this game best if the PNL is operated by a man in a tall white hood. 5) Hunt the nigger: a variation of Hunt the Slipper, but played outdoors, with Dobermans. WARNING: do not let your Dobermans bite a nigger, as they are highly toxic.

DISPOSAL OF DEAD NIGGERS.
Niggers die on average at around 40, which some might say is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most people prefer their niggers dead, in fact. When yours dies, report the license number of the car that did the drive-by shooting of your nigger. The police will collect the nigger and dispose of it for you.

COMMON PROBLEMS WITH NIGGERS - MY NIGGER IS VERY AGGRESIVE
Have it put down, for god's sake. Who needs an uppity nigger? What are we, short of niggers or something?

MY NIGGER KEEPS RAPING WHITE WOMEN
They all do this. Shorten your nigger's chain so it can't reach any white women, and arm heavily any white women who might go near it.

WILL MY NIGGER ATTACK ME?
Not unless it outnumbers you 20 to 1, and even then, it's not likely. If niggers successfully overthrew their owners, they'd have to sort out their own food. This is probably why nigger uprisings were nonexistent (until some fool gave them rights).

MY NIGGER BITCHES ABOUT ITS "RIGHTS" AND "RACISM".
Yeah, well, it would. Tell it to shut the fuck up.

MY NIGGER'S HIDE IS A FUNNY COLOR. - WHAT IS THE CORRECT SHADE FOR A NIGGER?
A nigger's skin is actually more or less transparent. That brown color you can see is the shit your nigger is full of. This is why some models of nigger are sold as "The Shitskin".

MY NIGGER ACTS LIKE A NIGGER, BUT IS WHITE.
What you have there is a "wigger". Rough crowd. WOW!

IS THAT LIKE AN ALBINO? ARE THEY RARE?
They're as common as dog shit and about as valuable. In fact, one of them was President between 1992 and 2000. Put your wigger in a cage with a few hundred genuine niggers and you'll soon find it stops acting like a nigger. However, leave it in the cage and let the niggers dispose of it. The best thing for any wigger is a dose of TNB.

MY NIGGER SMELLS REALLY BAD
And you were expecting what?

SHOULD I STORE MY DEAD NIGGER?
When you came in here, did you see a sign that said "Dead nigger storage"? .That's because there ain't no goddamn sign.

2

Is not surprise... (1)

omgarthas (1372603) | about 5 years ago | (#29749907)

Turn on your iPhone, access the app store, sort top 25 by income, see any indie dev.? there is your answer, now go get a real job

Re:Is not surprise... (1)

geekoid (135745) | about 5 years ago | (#29750047)

Yes, get a job working for some one else, don't bother trying to make it on your own~

Is that what you are saying? Really? really?

Re:Is not surprise... (1)

omgarthas (1372603) | about 5 years ago | (#29750077)

No, I meant "You won't make a living with the #187456798 Arkanoid rip-off"

Anonymous Coward (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29749913)

It's definitely not easy to even earn a little money on the App Store with just a good game, much less get rich. I am the developer of a game on the App Store and have not been paid a single cent from Apple yet. The game is highly polished and has great written reviews and even good reviews from professional sites. It's only $0.99 to $1.99 (depending on sales). We've had a few hundred sales since the beginning of the year. Apple only pays if you break $250 for each region, not for all regions combined, so they keep what little we've earned indefinitely unless we make more sales. I'm not going to whore the product out by mentioning it here; I just want to get the message out that this is what's up with the App Store to other potential developers. I logged over 500 hours developing that game and haven't received anything for it. So not only is it entirely possible you won't achieve success, but you might waste a lot of time and resources in the process. The process of getting any information from Apple was miserable, and they treat developers like shit. I used to have a lot of faith in Apple's good will and have been a long-time Mac head, but after this experience, I'll still buy Macs, but I will NEVER do any other kinds of business with them again.

Re:Anonymous Coward (2, Interesting)

chromatic (9471) | about 5 years ago | (#29750097)

I'll still buy Macs, but I will NEVER do any other kinds of business with them again.

Why would you still buy Macs, if you feel that strongly about Apple?

Re:Anonymous Coward (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750277)

Well, the alternative is Windows (or Linux, I suppose). No, I'll stick to the Mac for now, as I'm most familiar with it. Honestly though, if Windows 7 turns me on, I'm ready to jump ship.

Re:Anonymous Coward (1)

tomhudson (43916) | about 5 years ago | (#29750589)

Well, the alternative is Windows (or Linux, I suppose). No, I'll stick to the Mac for now, as I'm most familiar with it. Honestly though, if Windows 7 turns me on,, I'm ready to jump ship.

If *any* operating system "turns you on", you need to step away from the keyboard and get a life.

In Soviet Russia, Windows 7 turns on YOU! Oh, wait ... that's Vista!

Re:Anonymous Coward (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750327)

not to mention that buying a Mac is doing business with them.

Re:Anonymous Coward (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750361)

SECONDED!

I go further, I have several blogs and techie forums going, and I ban folks browsing to the sites using Safari.

Apple is a miserable company with superficially flashy products run by complete assholes. Everytime you buy a mac, you support evil.

Re:Anonymous Coward (1)

91degrees (207121) | about 5 years ago | (#29750391)

It makes sense if it's a simple business decision rather than a boycott.

If a partner business makes your business unprofitable, then it makes sense not to do business with them.

Re:Anonymous Coward (1)

truthsearch (249536) | about 5 years ago | (#29750099)

I feel your pain, but to be fair, even if you hit the minimum and were paid $250, that's still not worth 500 hours of work. Apple may not do enough to promote newer or less popular apps, but it's not completely their fault if the app doesn't sell.

Re:Anonymous Coward (4, Insightful)

vertinox (846076) | about 5 years ago | (#29750151)

I logged over 500 hours developing that game and haven't received anything for it.

Well... What's it called?

I mean obviously if you don't name drop exactly what the game everywhere no one will buy it ;)

Re:Anonymous Coward (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750405)

Its called "iPhone Flashlight"

Re:Anonymous Coward (3, Funny)

tomhudson (43916) | about 5 years ago | (#29750569)

Its called "iPhone Flashlight"

See, THERE's the problem ... it it were called "iPhone FLESH-light" it would be selling lik, well, like fleshlights.

Re:Anonymous Coward (1)

Tibor the Hun (143056) | about 5 years ago | (#29750529)

Well... What's it called?

"500 iFarts"

Re:Anonymous Coward (1)

edxwelch (600979) | about 5 years ago | (#29750167)

I'm not surprised. 500 hours is only 12 weeks. You're never going to write a decient game in that amount of time. For instance, fieldrunners or air tycoon certainly took more than 500 hours, and really that's the quality you need to be aiming for before you are guaranteed profits.
Simple puzzle games won't cut it anymore.

Re:Anonymous Coward (3, Insightful)

LDAPMAN (930041) | about 5 years ago | (#29750199)

"I'm not going to whore the product out by mentioning it here"

There's your problem right there. Thats the difference between being an entrepreneur and and being just a programmer. If your not going to bother to mention your app...why should Apple.

Re:Anonymous Coward (1)

Itninja (937614) | about 5 years ago | (#29750379)

I was going to sat the same thing. Of course it entirely possible the anonymous coward was really a Microsoft developer trying to astroturf some hate for Apple. In the absence of anything to motivate me otherwise, I always assume the role of jaded cynic.

Re:Anonymous Coward (2, Interesting)

tylersoze (789256) | about 5 years ago | (#29750453)

Well I'll whore mine then. ;) http://www.rickb.com/iphone [rickb.com]

I think my apps are well programmed but suffer from my lack of art skills, which I am attempting to rectify. :) I have a day job as a game programmer, so my iPhone diversions are merely a fun hobby, I'm not really looking to get rich from it.

Re:Anonymous Coward (1)

tomhudson (43916) | about 5 years ago | (#29750629)

I have a day job as a game programmer, so my iPhone diversions are merely a fun hobby, I'm not really looking to get rich from it.

MEMO
FROM: YOUR BOSS
SUBJECT: YOUR NON-COMPETE AGREEMENT

You forgot that we own all inventions, code, ideas, and your soul, even if it was done entirely off the clock. Thank you for developing the game for us. Now give us *our* money and *our* source code.

Re:Anonymous Coward (1)

rjolley (1118681) | about 5 years ago | (#29750463)

I would have bought his app if he mentioned it, instead he posted as AC so I can't even PM him for it.

Re:Anonymous Coward (1)

OakDragon (885217) | about 5 years ago | (#29750521)

I'm not going to whore the product out by mentioning it here

There's your problem right there. Thats the difference between being an entrepreneur and and being just a programmer. If your not going to bother to mention your app...why should Apple.

Given the context of the conversation, I think it would be OK to mention the app... or at least make a signature pointing to it.

Re:Anonymous Coward (4, Informative)

tylersoze (789256) | about 5 years ago | (#29750407)

Actually they've lowered it to $150 per region now. I'm still waiting on my first pay out too. Although if they make the revenue cutoff too low, you'll get killed by bank wire transfer fees (hello bank, why in the #$!@ are you charging me when people put money *in* my account!)

Re:Anonymous Coward (1)

MarkPNeyer (729607) | about 5 years ago | (#29750515)

Maybe your problem is your unwillingness to 'whore the product out' - advertising is supposedly the number one indicator of whether a small business succeeds or fails. If nobody's heard of your app, why would they buy it?

Re:Anonymous Coward (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750579)

Apple has *ALWAYS* treated their 3rd party devs like this. They have done this since the Lisa. Mid 90s it cost 20k+ for a dev kit plus 2-3k more for a dev box. I could setup 10 MS devs for the same amount of money. Its better now (closer to free) but it will take awhile to recover from that.

iPhone devs are just the latest gen to figure out something. If you are a consumer of Apple and Apple only you get a pretty sweet experience. If you are a dev for their platform you feel like you just had someone rip you off.

I gave up around os7. Haven't looked back.

Apple and good will are words I would *NEVER* put together. Ask anyone who has had their iPod battery die or HD die.

You pay for the 'cool' you buy from them. Unfortunately they really do not like to share the cool.

The last real open platform they had was the AppleII and then they went into crazy lockdown mode since.

Re:Anonymous Coward (1)

jo42 (227475) | about 5 years ago | (#29750647)

Ask yourself, does anyone know your game even exists among the 99,999 other games on the App Store?

The App Store's #1 success is also it's #1 failure -- it is frickin' hard to find the golden needle in over 125,000 haystacks.

This is news? (1)

FrozenGeek (1219968) | about 5 years ago | (#29749923)

Per the article (yes, I know I'm not supposed to read the article BEFORE commenting), there are 125,000 iPhone developers out there. That's a lot of competition. Especially when there seems to be relatively little innovation between apps. You want to make money developing iPhone apps? Find a way to help a niche market solve a problem, and do it better than anyone else. Don't write another tip calculator (are there really that many people who cannot calculate 15% of the total before tax?).

Re:This is news? (2, Informative)

CannonballHead (842625) | about 5 years ago | (#29749933)

(are there really that many people who cannot calculate 15% of the total before tax?).

Yes.

Re:This is news? (1)

thePowerOfGrayskull (905905) | about 5 years ago | (#29750445)

Don't write another tip calculator (are there really that many people who cannot calculate 15% of the total before tax?).

For $1.99 I'll tell you.

Re:This is news? (4, Interesting)

Nyeerrmm (940927) | about 5 years ago | (#29750631)

I wonder how many of those developers are actually releasing though. For instance, I'm a registered developer (I paid my $100), but I did it solely for personal development.

That is, I'm an aerospace engineering grad student doing a lot of estimation and controls work, but mostly on the theory/simulation side -- as such I realized I really should have some experience working with actual hardware. Since my research doesn't provide that opportunity, and I had my phone, which has GPS, accelerometers and magnetometers handy, so I decided to see what I could do with it. Paying the dev fee was probably cheaper than buying custom-purpose hardware.

It's certainly been interesting, and I'm pretty far along in a program that one can attach to a telescope, align against known stars, and then determine where you're pointing afterwards -- but its entirely something I'm doing for me. When its finished (school, another project, and a girl have prevented me from working on it in a while), I'll probably push it on to the app store, sell it for a few bucks on the off chance I'll make the dev fee back, but really, if it makes the difference in me getting a job I want, then thats much more worthwhile to me.

Simply too much competition (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29749927)

It's like every potential customer is walking into the New York Public Library. What are the odds of them finding your book among all the books available? Every once and awhile you get lucky but barring advertising or some one reviewing your product the odds are damn slim.

Re:Simply too much competition (1)

vertinox (846076) | about 5 years ago | (#29750559)

Every once and awhile you get lucky but barring advertising or some one reviewing your product the odds are damn slim.

And word of mouth helps too... The only games I have bought on the iPhone without playing them on another platform first (I bought Wolfenstein 3d, Monkey Island, and Beneath a Steel Sky simply because I wanted to replay them after 10 year hiatus) are ones that my coworkers or friends recommended.

On that note... Alive4ever is a pretty good zombie shooter game for the iPhone. Have sore thumbs because of that game.

Dear friend (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29749965)

My name is Babatunde head of Apple's iPhone App Approval and Placement operations based in Nigeria. If you allow to share in the profits, I can push your app through to number 1 position.

Please send your banking information and I will proceed with the transaction and we will both become millionaires.

Most apps on the app store really suck. (1)

Viewsonic (584922) | about 5 years ago | (#29749967)

Oh sure, there are a few gems out there, but good god.. You have to wade through THOUSANDS of crappy useless apps. Not only that, but everyone seems to think 0.99 is a great price to sell an app that does nothing. Oh hey, sticking advertisements into it? Yeah, that gets your application deleted pretty quick, too!

Wake up people, if you wouldn't do this for an app on your Mac/PC, don't do it for the iPhone/iPod.

Re:Most apps on the app store really suck. (1)

omgarthas (1372603) | about 5 years ago | (#29750161)

I don't know in your region, but in mine, 18 of the top25 health care apps are ideal weight calculators that do exactly the same, put your age, put your height, done

iPhone devs learn a lesson from musicians (4, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29749973)

And the lesson is, "just because you have a distribution network with the potential to reach millions of users, you'll still probably sell fuckall."

Welcome to the real world, iPhone devs.

You mean indy development isn't a free goldmine? (1)

Maury Markowitz (452832) | about 5 years ago | (#29749991)

"I think we've reached a point where people are thinking I shouldn't quit my day job for this."

Umm, in commercial software?

STOP THE PRESSES!

WE ARE JOBS !! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29749999)

You are assimilated, at GROSS $0.99 !!

Penny stocks BEWARE !! WE ARE JOBS !!

So running your own business making apps (2, Insightful)

geekoid (135745) | about 5 years ago | (#29750019)

is like running your own business. Shocking~

Re:So running your own business making apps (1)

e2d2 (115622) | about 5 years ago | (#29750243)

Agreed. As someone who started a software company and failed, I can vouch that there's more to it then just software. Much more. Have a plan and make sure it's more than just "If you build it they will come".

The main lesson learned? Money is the life blood of business. Have a great credit line or a lot of cash. Tales of bootstrapping a business on $5k charged to a credit card leave out the inevitable need to actually pay for things beyond that. They are fairy tales spun to entice the reader and make the subject look like a "god of business". Don't fall for it. Be smart, have the bag of cash ready. It's going to matter more than your idea.

     

News Flash -- Work in hard!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750021)

Really, it it was easy to make a million bucks someplace, then there would be such an inrush of people doing it to dilute it down to where you would just scrape by. Just like the gold rush.

The road to richess passes through Marketing (3, Interesting)

Zadaz (950521) | about 5 years ago | (#29750081)

If your app isn't featured or favorited or otherwise supported by a major marketing push, you're doomed.

The little band of freelancers I work with have produce two games. One for ourselves. It was really very good, which bombed at the store. We've sold just a few hundred. We're small, we don't have a marketing budget.

The next game we bade was honestly no very fun. It was okay, not complete crap, but not great. It's been in the top 50 for several weeks.

What's the difference? That second game was done for a Major Developer who was able to spend 20x as much on marketing as development. (No joke.)

And even for them, there's no money in it for them. They're only there to show a success to shareholders and that they're beating the competition in a competitive marketplace. Couldn't have the independent devs getting the top spots, now could they? That'd be embarrassing.

Re:The road to richess passes through Marketing (4, Insightful)

jjohnson (62583) | about 5 years ago | (#29750107)

Couldn't have the independent devs getting the top spots, now could they? That'd be embarrassing.

You make it sound like it's their fault that your excellent indie game isn't in the top 50. Why would anyone think that strong marketing isn't needed in a crowded marketplace?

Re:The road to richess passes through Marketing (1)

Fulcrum of Evil (560260) | about 5 years ago | (#29750319)

Sounds like they're doing the iphone app for street cred more than as a way to make money. Reminds me of the saying "with sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine".

Re:The road to richess passes through Marketing (1)

Itninja (937614) | about 5 years ago | (#29750447)

The next game we bade was honestly no very fun.

Maybe the games are so rife with typos that players don't care how fun it is. I have seen more than one game out that showing my 'High Scoe' or that I am on 'Level Too'.

Re:The road to richess passes through Marketing (1)

tomhudson (43916) | about 5 years ago | (#29750661)

The next game we bade was honestly no very fun.

Maybe the games are so rife with typos that players don't care how fun it is. I have seen more than one game out that showing my 'High Scoe' or that I am on 'Level Too'.

Maybe someone set them up the bomb?

Re:The road to richess passes through Marketing (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750479)

we don't have a marketing budget x 20 doesn't seem much. joke or not. ;)

To be fair, it IS a world of easy opportunity... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750101)

...but that doesn't mean it's a guarantee for riches, and I to blame the App Store or Apple's business model for that is nothing but narrowmindedness and stupidity - if the crowd simply don't want what you are offering, it's you who's doing something wrong.

The people who need to read to figure this out (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750113)

.. are unlikely to get rich anyway in any field.

It is stunningly obvious that the likely number of customers for any iPhone application is virtually impossible to determine in advance. From the total number of iPhone users, what percentage would prefer buying an application to look up train routes to looking it up through Safari? This is a problem "professional" developers face as much as "amateur" ones. If that uncertainty makes it unattractive for you to write an app, then the road to riches is obviously not going to be tried anyway so questioning whether it exists is pointless.

Secondly, most apps are crap. Lack of userfriendliness, obvious features that should be in, a user manual that omits vital information - even if the invisible roulette wheel spins so that you happened to be correct in thinking what people wants, then a crap application will get crap reviews and no buys. Hence, if you don't have the Steve Jobs-like imagination and ability to visualise what people like, what they would like, and how they tend to act, you're probably not going to get rich on making an app. Of course, if you fail to combine fantastic visualisation with strong programming skills, then you could always put a lot of work and effort into it - which makes it a bit like a "day job" where "success is not guaranteed and the odds are long".

I would actually be happy to pay quite a bit more than $1 for an app that was rock solid and great in every way. Over time and through trial and error, the best app makers will hopefully invest more effort into their apps and increase the price of them as well.

Just like the web of yester-year. (1)

Kenja (541830) | about 5 years ago | (#29750153)

Just like adding "on the web" to every idea failed to make people rich (well.... it did from some I guess) so will adding "on the iPhone" to everything fail in much the same way.

A good application will sell. Yet another app of type X will not unless it is CLEARLY better then the rest.

This is true of every platform. The iPhone is not special.

There is no easy money (1)

QuoteMstr (55051) | about 5 years ago | (#29750159)

Easy money is an phemeral subatomic particles, existing barely long enough to detected before decaying to something else. The moment an opportunity to make easy money appears, it begins attracting people. These people competing with each other, which makes the money hard, not easy, to get. Thus, the easy money decays into the same kind of hard-to-get money you'll find anywhere else in an economy.

Really, any time sometime tells you there's a fortune to be had, he's trying to sell you something.

Go figure (2, Insightful)

sbeckstead (555647) | about 5 years ago | (#29750175)

So some idiot gets rich buying stock and we get the startling conclusion that it's not the app store that makes you rich.
Getting rich has always been a combination of sweat, luck and keeping your eyes open for an opportunity. Brilliant reporting, just brilliant.

Let's see (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750183)

Let's see... you have.

1. Low barriers to entry and low cost per sale.
2. High platform visibility.

and at the same time a market which is

3. Highly price sensitive
4. Swamped for choice.

As close to perfect competition as I've ever seen, with high demand elasticity and a risky approvals process. I doubt anybody with any background in economics is surprised that it's difficult to make money on the App Store.

tautologies (1)

fermion (181285) | about 5 years ago | (#29750227)

  • There is no such thing as a free lunch
  • To make money in the stock market, buy low and sell high
  • The more people eating a pie, the less there is for each person
  • Working hard does not automatically make you rich
  • No one has to buy your stuff
  • Publishing an iPhone app does not make one rich, famous, or desirable

CONTRAST AND COMPARE !! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750413)

Linux: apps' revenue: $0.00 with expenses of: who cares since it's a hobby !! Net: who cares, it's only a hobby, and I get to share my source with the WORLD. Eat that Apple !!

Apple: apps' revenue: $850,000.00 with expenses of: holy shit I must have been crazy, and I get to keep my source, along with the Linux !! Net: $45,000.00.

People complain about funny things. Taut on that. And you obbiously have never slipped into Pizza Hut around noon-ish behind the office crowd of buffet-pizza fans.

HAL (1)

Citizen of Earth (569446) | about 5 years ago | (#29750229)

I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that trade for you.

The real deal... (5, Interesting)

sitarlo (792966) | about 5 years ago | (#29750245)

I actually left my job and write iPhone and Android apps for a living. I haven't had a hit better than top 100, but I still make money. A prolific game developer can earn an honest living on the mobile platforms if they diversify their titles across genres and deliver decent apps. I also make money consulting with marketing firms who are using the iphone as a marketing platform. I made more at a regular job, but I'm happy to give up a little cash for the freedom I now have. In the past decade professional software development has become mundane and more tedium than creative. The iPhone and Android have become creative outlets for me. The app store isn't perfect but it has allowed me to break the chains of cubical bondage. It's not easy though. It takes a lot of balls to escape the systematic chaos of work-a-day life and step out on your own. If and when I re-enter the stupid, pointless, and utterly insane working world, I now have a couple of years worth of Objective-C, mobile platform, and smartphone development experience to put on my cv. Yeah, the app store and Android market aren't millionaire nebula, but they are good for a lot of other reasons.

Appstore.. WHO CARES ? (4, Funny)

ivan_w (1115485) | about 5 years ago | (#29750279)

Come on.. who cares..

Appstore ? Amazon ? E-Bay.. Whatever...

Is this Geek story ?

Who cares about the marketroids doing biziniss ??

Because they are using a "geeky" 'a.k.a the internetz' to do that biziness doesn't make them geeky !

Ok.. I didn't read TFA.. but I didn't feel like it!

I want to read about "quantum physics".. "the ultimate programing language" or "the most prominent hardware architecture"..

and NOT about some sleazy company making money with some lousy marketing scheme..

Sorry.. you may mod me -1 as much as you like.. won't change my mind !

--Ivan

(PS : No.. I won't post AC - Because.. I stand by what I say !)

The Road To Rags (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750317)

"I think we've reached a point where people are thinking I shouldn't quit my day job for this."'"

What day job? Where? Jobs are still fleeing Gulag U.S.A.

So much for the Wall Street, General Motors, and Chrysler bailouts: Corporate SOCIALISM.

I want proletariate socialism.

Yours In Norilsk,
Kilgore Trout

Re:The Road To Rags (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750387)

No! The market is above 10000. The economic woes are over! Obama has done it. He has achieved victory in less than 9 months. The streets are being repaved with gold as we speak.

Never mind the unemployed behind the curtain.

Do not worry (4, Funny)

e2d2 (115622) | about 5 years ago | (#29750363)

You can always find a job using one of the many job apps available in the app store.

this ifsS goatsex (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29750507)

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