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Lockheed Snags $31 Million To Reinvent the Internet, Microsoft To Help

ScuttleMonkey posted about 5 years ago | from the reinventing-the-wheel dept.

The Internet 326

DARPA has awarded a $31 million contract to megacorp Lockheed Martin which will, with some assistance from Microsoft, attempt to reinvent the Internet and make it more military-friendly. "The main thrust of the effort will be to develop a new Military Network Protocol, which will differ from old hat such as TCP/IP in that it will offer 'improved security, dynamic bandwidth allocation, and policy-based prioritization levels at the individual and unit level.' Lockheed will be partnered with Anagran, Juniper Networks, LGS Innovations, Stanford University and — of course — Microsoft in developing the MNP. Apart from that, Lockheed's own Information Systems & Global Services-Defense tentacle will work on amazing new hardware."

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Your official guide to the Jigaboo presidency (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29770947)

Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.

INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.

CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat

HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.

FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.

MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most prominent anatomical feature, after all, its oversized buttocks, which have evolved to make it more comfortable for your nigger to sit around all day doing nothing for its entire life. Niggers are often good runners, too, to enable them to sprint quickly in the opposite direction if they see work heading their way. The solution to this is to *dupe* your nigger into working. After installation, encourage it towards the cotton field with blows of a wooden club, fence post, baseball bat, etc., and then tell it that all that cotton belongs to a white man, who won't be back until tomorrow. Your nigger will then frantically compete with the other field niggers to steal as much of that cotton as it can before the white man returns. At the end of the day, return your nigger to its cage and laugh at its stupidity, then repeat the same trick every day indefinitely. Your nigger comes equipped with the standard nigger IQ of 75 and a memory to match, so it will forget this trick overnight. Niggers can start work at around 5am. You should then return to bed and come back at around 10am. Your niggers can then work through until around 10pm or whenever the light fades.

ENTERTAINING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger enjoys play, like most animals, so you should play with it regularly. A happy smiling nigger works best. Games niggers enjoy include: 1) A good thrashing: every few days, take your nigger's pants down, hang it up by its heels, and have some of your other niggers thrash it with a club or whip. Your nigger will signal its intense enjoyment by shrieking and sobbing. 2) Lynch the nigger: niggers are cheap and there are millions more where yours came from. So every now and then, push the boat out a bit and lynch a nigger.

Lynchings are best done with a rope over the branch of a tree, and niggers just love to be lynched. It makes them feel special. Make your other niggers watch. They'll be so grateful, they'll work harder for a day or two (and then you can lynch another one). 3) Nigger dragging: Tie your nigger by one wrist to the tow bar on the back of suitable vehicle, then drive away at approximately 50mph. Your nigger's shrieks of enjoyment will be heard for miles. It will shriek until it falls apart. To prolong the fun for the nigger, do *NOT* drag him by his feet, as his head comes off too soon. This is painless for the nigger, but spoils the fun. Always wear a seatbelt and never exceed the speed limit. 4) Playing on the PNL: a variation on (2), except you can lynch your nigger out in the fields, thus saving work time. Niggers enjoy this game best if the PNL is operated by a man in a tall white hood. 5) Hunt the nigger: a variation of Hunt the Slipper, but played outdoors, with Dobermans. WARNING: do not let your Dobermans bite a nigger, as they are highly toxic.

DISPOSAL OF DEAD NIGGERS.
Niggers die on average at around 40, which some might say is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most people prefer their niggers dead, in fact. When yours dies, report the license number of the car that did the drive-by shooting of your nigger. The police will collect the nigger and dispose of it for you.

COMMON PROBLEMS WITH NIGGERS - MY NIGGER IS VERY AGGRESIVE
Have it put down, for god's sake. Who needs an uppity nigger? What are we, short of niggers or something?

MY NIGGER KEEPS RAPING WHITE WOMEN
They all do this. Shorten your nigger's chain so it can't reach any white women, and arm heavily any white women who might go near it.

WILL MY NIGGER ATTACK ME?
Not unless it outnumbers you 20 to 1, and even then, it's not likely. If niggers successfully overthrew their owners, they'd have to sort out their own food. This is probably why nigger uprisings were nonexistent (until some fool gave them rights).

MY NIGGER BITCHES ABOUT ITS "RIGHTS" AND "RACISM".
Yeah, well, it would. Tell it to shut the fuck up.

MY NIGGER'S HIDE IS A FUNNY COLOR. - WHAT IS THE CORRECT SHADE FOR A NIGGER?
A nigger's skin is actually more or less transparent. That brown color you can see is the shit your nigger is full of. This is why some models of nigger are sold as "The Shitskin".

MY NIGGER ACTS LIKE A NIGGER, BUT IS WHITE.
What you have there is a "wigger". Rough crowd. WOW!

IS THAT LIKE AN ALBINO? ARE THEY RARE?
They're as common as dog shit and about as valuable. In fact, one of them was President between 1992 and 2000. Put your wigger in a cage with a few hundred genuine niggers and you'll soon find it stops acting like a nigger. However, leave it in the cage and let the niggers dispose of it. The best thing for any wigger is a dose of TNB.

MY NIGGER SMELLS REALLY BAD
And you were expecting what?

SHOULD I STORE MY DEAD NIGGER?
When you came in here, did you see a sign that said "Dead nigger storage"? .That's because there ain't no goddamn sign.

Re:Your official guide to the Jigaboo presidency (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29770965)

Hi!

I am a young white girl and I am just bananas for black men. I like them as thugged out as possible, to the point where I can't understand a word they say.

Are you thugged out?

If so please post ASL and a phone number so we can talk. Maybe we could fuck, then you could fuck all my friends too but I'd still stay with you because I love you and society just wants to tear us apart because they don't like interracial dating but I'm so trendy I don't care what everyone else thinks.

Lockheed + Reinvent + Internet = (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29770961)

Fascism [youtube.com]

Yours In Yaznogorsk,
K.T.

So...IPv6 then? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29770971)

It's already invented.

Re:So...IPv6 then? (4, Insightful)

MightyMartian (840721) | about 5 years ago | (#29771091)

Why the f*** would anybody go to Microsoft? It took them over a decade to implement TCP/IP properly. Whatever you think of their software development, they're not exactly overwhelming developers of protocols.

Re:So...IPv6 then? (3, Funny)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | about 5 years ago | (#29771187)

Because they are an Enterprise Ready Solution Partner(tm).

It's not like you could trust a bunch of hippy academics to design a viable internetworking protocol....

Re:So...IPv6 then? (4, Funny)

sopssa (1498795) | about 5 years ago | (#29771659)

Dear Sir or Madam,

The responsible Anti-Microsoft Troll that should have replied to this post by now is on sick leave and was unable to prepare a custom flaming reply to this particular post. In lieu of that, attached is our generic template which we use to write all our flaming responses.

1. Make a general anti-Microsoft jab
2. Blame Microsoft for it's stance against Free Software (and also for lack of network neutrality, the current state of patent laws, the Iraq war, and the extinction of the dinosaurs)
3. Accuse the poster who wrote something positive about Microsoft of being either a fanboy or a Microsoft employee. If the poster in question made a comment about Microsoft's actual support of Free Software in a particular instance, accuse the poster of being an oblivious idiot unable to see through their Embrace-Extend-Extinguish approach
4. State that the Linux revolution is inevitable
5. Finish off with another outpour of flames

We hope you will be able to infer the potential content of the post that should have been done by the respective Troll. Please accept our apologies.

Sincerely,

Assistant Secretary,
Anti-Microsoft Trolling Association, Ltd.

Re:So...IPv6 then? (2, Insightful)

xaosflux (917784) | about 5 years ago | (#29771377)

"It took them over a decade to implement TCP/IP properly." What??? MS has made continually less and less useful implmentations of the IP stack with each build!

Re:So...IPv6 then? (1)

Runaway1956 (1322357) | about 5 years ago | (#29771569)

My thoughts too. What has Microsoft ever done "right", other than seperating suckers from their money? Oh - wait - this means Microsoft is in charge of marketing?

Re:So...IPv6 then? (4, Insightful)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | about 5 years ago | (#29771615)

Microsoft didn't implement TCP/IP. They took the BSD stack and tried to stick into Windows. When it didn't fit right, they tried again. And again. And again.

They were bound to get it right sooner or later.

Re:So...IPv6 then? (4, Insightful)

huckamania (533052) | about 5 years ago | (#29771163)

The military may be looking for a smaller packet size then IPv6 can offer. Think IPv4 with all of the cruft taken out. They might be able to get away with an even smaller address size then IPv4 since they have a finite number of things they want to connect. Ports seem to be a waste of bits, since you only ever use a few of those at a time. Shaving 10 bits off of the address and 10 bits off of the port would allow them to add security, prioritization, etc.

Some of these military data streams will be unreliable and every bit helps.

Re:So...IPv6 then? (4, Informative)

Ephemeriis (315124) | about 5 years ago | (#29771573)

The military may be looking for a smaller packet size then IPv6 can offer. Think IPv4 with all of the cruft taken out. They might be able to get away with an even smaller address size then IPv4 since they have a finite number of things they want to connect. Ports seem to be a waste of bits, since you only ever use a few of those at a time. Shaving 10 bits off of the address and 10 bits off of the port would allow them to add security, prioritization, etc.

Some of these military data streams will be unreliable and every bit helps.

I believe the actual article indicates that it still has to be able to carry traditional IPv4 and IPv6 data... So I doubt if they're going to completely re-invent the wheel.

Sounds more like they want a new protocol to sit on top of IP... Maybe something to replace TCP and/or UDP? Maybe just bolting on some QoS and IPSEC in some documented, standardized way? Maybe a new multipurpose communication protocol to roll SMTP/HTTP/FTP/VOIP/whatever into one?

Re:So...IPv6 then? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771581)

Of course, all that they shave off will likely be replaced with Microsoft bloat...

Skynet (4, Funny)

ShopMgr (1639595) | about 5 years ago | (#29770985)

Well, we have to have at least one post referencing Skynet. And someone needs to post something about our new overlords...

Re:Skynet (4, Funny)

Bucc5062 (856482) | about 5 years ago | (#29771043)

I would have welcomed our new corporate overlords, but hell, they've been here for some time now. How about, I rejoice in the continued glorified presence of our existing, and most wondrous corporate Uberlords and their subservient cronies.

(I think I'll go wash my mind out with a good Vodka at this point)

Re:Skynet (1, Informative)

ShieldW0lf (601553) | about 5 years ago | (#29771105)

Sounds to me like they're engaged in crimes against all humanity. What else is new?

Re:Skynet (1)

davester666 (731373) | about 5 years ago | (#29771197)

um, don't you mean military overlords...

Of course, the corporate uberlords control the military overlords, but that's a separate meme.

Re:Skynet (1)

Amouth (879122) | about 5 years ago | (#29771251)

um, don't you mean military overlords...

Of course, the corporate uberlords control the military overlords, but that's a separate meme.

and at best temporary

Re:Skynet (0, Offtopic)

Shakrai (717556) | about 5 years ago | (#29771431)

(I think I'll go wash my mind out with a good Vodka at this point)

Pot works better.

Re:Skynet (2, Funny)

jeffshoaf (611794) | about 5 years ago | (#29771501)

(I think I'll go wash my mind out with a good Vodka at this point)

Pot works better.

T-Fal or Calphalon?

Re:Skynet (4, Funny)

farrellj (563) | about 5 years ago | (#29771315)

We don't have to worry about Skynet, or Overlords...Face it, a Military Intranet based upon Microsoft technology means that you will have to reboot it every few days, viruses will infect it daily, and every once in a while, it will all just crash for no observable reason at all.

Essentialy, it is China and Russia's wet dreams come true!

Wow, sounds like ipv6 (4, Insightful)

mveloso (325617) | about 5 years ago | (#29770989)

LMCO and Microsoft: here's your protocol (hands them a copy of the ipv6 std doc).
US: thanks, that's great work! Here's your check.

How did they calculate exactly $31 million? (2, Interesting)

Futurepower(R) (558542) | about 5 years ago | (#29771125)

Yes. Also, how did they decide the effort should cost exactly $31 million of taxpayer money?

Re:How did they calculate exactly $31 million? (2, Funny)

PIBM (588930) | about 5 years ago | (#29771171)

2^5 - 1 is a nice number. Just add million afteward and you are set!

Re:How did they calculate exactly $31 million? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771341)

Isn't that a Mersenne Prime?

Re:How did they calculate exactly $31 million? (5, Insightful)

gbjbaanb (229885) | about 5 years ago | (#29771339)

I'm just surprised, no astounded, that a large military contractor (and microsoft) will do it for such a teeny tiny amount considering how much they usually charge.

Perhaps it is just for the IPv6 spec with the 6 crossed out and 7 in its place after all.

Re:How did they calculate exactly $31 million? (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771623)

Like they did for Windows.

security? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29770991)

hehe did someone mention microsoft and security in the same sentence?

Re:security? (2, Funny)

Timothy Brownawell (627747) | about 5 years ago | (#29771021)

hehe did someone mention microsoft and security in the same sentence?

"And now for tonight's top story, another 31 Microsoft security flaws fixed in an emergency off-cycle patch"...

The future is secure! (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29770999)

Hopefully they will patent MNP up the wazoo so that the open sores leech community wont be able to steal their intellectual property. Go military industrial oligarchy!

Bottom line (5, Funny)

sakdoctor (1087155) | about 5 years ago | (#29771003)

How does this affect pr0n?

Re:Bottom line (-1, Flamebait)

chill (34294) | about 5 years ago | (#29771189)

With a military contractor, the gov't and Microsoft doing the development? I'm thinking it'll heavily tilt towards bondage, S&M, forced anal sex and some bestiality thrown in for good measure.

Re:Bottom line (1)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | about 5 years ago | (#29771199)

MNP knows how to stand at attention for a man in uniform.

Re:Bottom line (5, Funny)

Nerdfest (867930) | about 5 years ago | (#29771255)

Don't ask, don't tell.

Re:Bottom line (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771427)

RTFS:

tentacle will work on amazing new hardware.

The benefits to the hentai industry are obvious.

Re:Bottom line (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771531)

It has the word tentacle built in. How can it not?

Who wants to bet... (4, Insightful)

Zantac69 (1331461) | about 5 years ago | (#29771017)

...that it will be TCP/IP with a pinch of pixie dust. Probably just changing a few extensions and reusing old code.

Re:Who wants to bet... (5, Insightful)

Ethanol-fueled (1125189) | about 5 years ago | (#29771169)

It'll never be finished anyway. They'll repeatedly extend the deadlines and the budget unsuccessfully before the project's stinking remains will be swept quietly under the rug. Then some other bunch of corporations with paid shills in congress will get a similar contract years later.

Re:Who wants to bet... (1)

maharb (1534501) | about 5 years ago | (#29771267)

Its part of the stimulus. Just make people work and pay them for it... doesn't matter if it does any good, they have jobs. Oh shit, dare I mention how this could help the average Slashdot member have a job.

Re:Who wants to bet... (1)

Korin43 (881732) | about 5 years ago | (#29771703)

Yes that's a much better plan to letting people keep their money, pay for things they want, thus giving money to people to produce those things (and creating useful jobs).

Re:Who wants to bet... (1)

Logical Zebra (1423045) | about 5 years ago | (#29771687)

Very true. The DoD has been planning on implementing IPv6 "in two years" for the past decade.

Re:Who wants to bet... (4, Funny)

nschubach (922175) | about 5 years ago | (#29771209)

They'll have to leave the major version number the same so it doesn't break the Internet. They'll call it IPv7, but it will be version 6.1 to keep this compatibility.

Re:Who wants to bet... (1)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | about 5 years ago | (#29771705)

Not to mention that it will be proclaimed that in order to use IPv7, you will, of course, need Windows 7, duh!

xml! (5, Insightful)

Phantom of the Opera (1867) | about 5 years ago | (#29771295)

if only! I sense XML based packets.

If implemented in military hospitals... (4, Funny)

spafbi (324017) | about 5 years ago | (#29771037)

... and used to interconnect medical devices, it'd give a whole new meaning to "blue screen of death"

Re:If implemented in military hospitals... (2, Interesting)

maharb (1534501) | about 5 years ago | (#29771273)

Did you not know that many hospitals already run windows equipment?

Re:If implemented in military hospitals... (1)

VJ42 (860241) | about 5 years ago | (#29771535)

... and used to interconnect medical devices, it'd give a whole new meaning to "blue screen of death"

Why stop at the Hospitals? Use it to connect the Nukes and you'll get the last either BSOD you (or the enite planet) will ever see.

Is this FUCKING JOKE? (3, Insightful)

Tei (520358) | about 5 years ago | (#29771045)

Microsoft, from all people? ignore all the jokes about his consumer OS. His server software is horrible bad!!. Maybe Visual Studio is a nice tool, his compiler is average, but good. Other than that, why o why? I sould not be tecnical merits, has to be something else.

Re:Is this FUCKING JOKE? (3, Funny)

Itninja (937614) | about 5 years ago | (#29771175)

Me also think that very much long time.

Re:Is this FUCKING JOKE? (1)

CRiMSON (3495) | about 5 years ago | (#29771203)

No shit, you'd think, I dunno Cisco, Juniper, a company directly related to networking would be a more obvious choice. But hey, I guess wtf do we know right?

Re:Is this FUCKING JOKE? (1)

Pharmboy (216950) | about 5 years ago | (#29771259)

Jeesh, EVERYONE knows that it is Microsoft that made the first internet possible and accessible to everyone starting back with their first copy of Windows 95, right? ;)

Re:Is this FUCKING JOKE? (1)

FlyingBishop (1293238) | about 5 years ago | (#29771451)

No, it was Windows 3.11.

Well, ok, technically AOL was making it possible, but they still couldn't have done it without Microsoft.

Re:Is this FUCKING JOKE? (1)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | about 5 years ago | (#29771721)

Jeesh, EVERYONE knows that it is Microsoft that made the first internet possible and accessible to everyone starting back with their first copy of Windows 95, right? ;)

So Al Gore wrote Windows 95?

Re:Is this FUCKING JOKE? (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771291)

Why are you talking about Microsoft like it's alive?

Is there something I should know?

Hello, windows.

Re:Is this FUCKING JOKE? (1)

Ant P. (974313) | about 5 years ago | (#29771445)

Considering his sig, I'd say the GP's English isn't bad at all

Re:Is this FUCKING JOKE? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771449)

My name is Skynet not "Windows," you insensitive clod.

Re:Is this FUCKING JOKE? (0, Offtopic)

insertwackynamehere (891357) | about 5 years ago | (#29771695)

A Skynet joke? On my Slashdot?

It's more likely than you think.

Re:Is this FUCKING JOKE? (1)

BJ_Covert_Action (1499847) | about 5 years ago | (#29771447)

For their ergonomic keyboards?

Could be a good them for them and us (5, Interesting)

mangastudent (718064) | about 5 years ago | (#29771059)

This makes a lot of sense, the military has unique requirements of all sorts, from security to e.g. their inability to hook up an aircraft carrier to fiber (except while at dock) to their need to carry both operational and personal traffic (the latter to keep their people in touch with home) over necessarily constrained links.

I like the bit about "self configuration capabilities to ... reduce the need for trained network personnel and lower overall life cycle costs for network management". While the current state of the art keeps us well employed, things could be easier. Heck, the more the systems I maintain for my parent self-configure, the happier I am.

Re:Could be a good them for them and us (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771103)

This makes a lot of sense, the military has unique requirements of all sorts, from security to e.g. their inability to hook up an aircraft carrier to fiber (except while at dock) to their need to carry both operational and personal traffic (the latter to keep their people in touch with home) over necessarily constrained links.

There's lots of non-military uses for wireless or satellite links. If you need to carry both operational and personal traffic, you establish multiple links and keep the networks separated.

The military's requirement for security is most certainly not unique, either.

Re:Could be a good them for them and us (1)

mangastudent (718064) | about 5 years ago | (#29771335)

This makes a lot of sense, the military has unique requirements of all sorts, from security to e.g. their inability to hook up an aircraft carrier to fiber (except while at dock) to their need to carry both operational and personal traffic (the latter to keep their people in touch with home) over necessarily constrained links.

There's lots of non-military uses for wireless or satellite links. If you need to carry both operational and personal traffic, you establish multiple links and keep the networks separated.

But won't there generally be in a lot of circumstances just one physical (radio/satellite) link to "back home"? So those multiple links must still go over one pipe and very possibly one with high latency. I'm sure there's useful stuff than can be done here to make that sort of thing work better, and that might help the civilian users of satellite broadband as well.

The military's requirement for security is most certainly not unique, either.

They're rather unique in the consequences of security failures, at least when combined with their often ad hoc situation with links, e.g. in forward bases, and in a lack of network specialists that far forward.

There's also the social links back home, where civilians send forward based troops all sorts of useful stuff including satellite stations. Most of the rest of the national security community has it a lot easier.

Re:Could be a good them for them and us (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771289)

Did I miss some way where it would be easy to hard wire a fiber connection to a boat when it wasn't near land?

Re:Could be a good them for them and us (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771365)

Do you know what the word "inability" means?

Re:Could be a good them for them and us (1)

gbjbaanb (229885) | about 5 years ago | (#29771421)

Pah. its easy. You just need a very long cable.

Come to think of it, if they equipped carriers with the stuff those transatlantic cable laying/repairing ships have, then many 3rd world countries would welcome American invasion. Foreign policy through winning over Hearts, Minds, and Youtube. What could go wrong :)

Re:Could be a good them for them and us (1)

mangastudent (718064) | about 5 years ago | (#29771425)

Did I miss some way where it would be easy to hard wire a fiber connection to a boat when it wasn't near land?

Heh, no, I was just thinking, a supercarrier is often compared to a small city, it's got the population and a lot of technical expertise. You could imagine one having a couple of Google/Sun type shipping containers stuffed full of computers tucked away in different corners (not likely a problem with powering them!) ... except for that minor detail that they're going to have a seriously constrained link when out of port.

Just thinking off the top of my head, this would be an interesting challenge for caching and pre-fetching, the latter to use otherwise wasted bits when the link isn't so busy.

Re:Could be a good them for them and us (1)

Kjella (173770) | about 5 years ago | (#29771345)

The more I deal with IT insanity, the more I realize it comes in infinite supply. No matter how much you make monkey work they'll just try doing 10x as advanced and/or stupid things with IT...

Re:Could be a good them for them and us (2, Interesting)

pavon (30274) | about 5 years ago | (#29771381)

I've used some classified DoD networks before, and they are certainly managed differently, almost more like a circuit-switched network than packet-switched. You have to apply way in advance to get bandwidth allocated on them, declaring in advance your endpoints, and then if approved you are guaranteed that bandwidth. They have to be very underutilized as a result of this, so introducing some reasonable QoS that would allow folks to use up the spare bandwidth sounds like like a much needed improvement.

I'm not a network engineer, so I have no idea if a new network protocol is needed, or if an existing protocol like TCP/IP or SONET would suit their needs.

Surprised this one wasn't first (5, Funny)

Drunken Buddhist (467947) | about 5 years ago | (#29771087)

And Al Gore could not be reached for comment.

Reinvent the wheel (1)

Nikademus (631739) | about 5 years ago | (#29771099)

The next step from DARPA is asking Lada to reinvent the wheel to make it more military friendly, adding automatic braking and better resilience against bullets.

Re:Reinvent the wheel (1)

oneTheory (1194569) | about 5 years ago | (#29771311)

The next step from DARPA is asking Lada to reinvent the wheel to make it more military friendly, adding automatic braking and better resilience against bullets.

Ok, here [scientificamerican.com] .

China (3, Insightful)

Krneki (1192201) | about 5 years ago | (#29771135)

In another news, China buys 60% of Microsoft shares.

How the hell can you trust a corporation to handle the military security? No really, who the fuck had this brilliant idea?

Re:China (5, Insightful)

Fallen Kell (165468) | about 5 years ago | (#29771459)

How the hell can you trust a corporation to handle the military security? No really, who the fuck had this brilliant idea?

Do you have any idea of how the US military works at all? The military itself makes very few products. Just about everything from the bullets fired, the guns that fire them, the planes that carry the guns, the engines that power the planes, the radar that guides aims the guns, etc., etc., etc., was all designed and built by a "corporation", which simply met a spec that the military asked for. The military basically says, I need a plane that can go at least mach 2, can carry X number of pounds of air to ground or air to air weapons, has X% stealth capability, has a range of X miles, can land on a aircraft carrier, etc., etc... and costs about X dollars. Multiple designs are submitted by different companies that think they can meet or exceed spec, and the military then selects one or two to build a prototype and then selects one of those prototypes and then it has another contract bid to actually manufacturer the winning design.

ALL those things are being designed and built by a corporation that handles the military security. Even services for network design, and standard security policy and practices are usually designed and maintained by a corporation! Get a clue man.

Re:China (2, Informative)

PeeShootr (949875) | about 5 years ago | (#29771505)

How clueless are you? Do you think that Soldiers write all the software for the military? Do you think that they build all of the ships and planes? It's called the military INDUSTRIAL complex for fucks sake.

Re:China (2, Insightful)

kevinNCSU (1531307) | about 5 years ago | (#29771667)

How the hell can you trust a corporation to handle the military security? No really, who the fuck had this brilliant idea?

Just about every American Legislature, Commander-in-Chief, Personnel Investigator, and military officer in the history of our nation?

I mean seriously, where do you think our military equipment is built and researched? There's not a factory somewhere with a bunch of army privates putting m-16's together. The vast majority of our military technology and equipment is produced and researched by private corporations. That's because the brightest minds get drawn in by the highest paycheck, and that's not usually offered by government/military positions.

Yikes. I work for Lockheed... (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771137)

... and I can tell you that this sounds like a disaster in the making. LM is so top-heavy with bureaucracy and process-bloat that the company might as well be a mini-Pentagon itself (not so mini, either, now that I think about it). Nothing happens quickly at Lock-Mart, and the things that do happen cost a bloody blue fortune.

If nothing else, they'd better hire in some outside IT guys. If this work gets anywhere near the corporate IT bozos, the military can look forward to a future of XP Pro with daily forced updates, and new hardware every five years or so (which again, is not terribly far away from the way the armed forces IT already works)...

Um, 31 Million? (1)

notdotcom.com (1021409) | about 5 years ago | (#29771149)

Does anyone else think that 31 million might be kind of a small sum of money to "reinvent the Internet"?

Re:Um, 31 Million? (1)

SebaSOFT (859957) | about 5 years ago | (#29771317)

"Reinventing the internet" it's a little bit too much for a military network contract.

Where do you want to browse today?
(if the US Army let's you)

They'll stuff it up (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771177)

These guys never know to keep it simple.

I've seen it happen with functional protocols that get revised in large defense organizations.

Re:They'll stuff it up (5, Interesting)

RotateLeftByte (797477) | about 5 years ago | (#29771727)

no they wouldn't as you say, 'stuff it up'.

They'd patent the sh1t out of it so it is 'stuffed up' for the rest of us.
Remember that the US Military are exempt from patents awarded for work funded by them.
Then all Microsoft need to do is make 'The Internet V2' standard in Windows 8 and watch pretty well every company fall over backwards to implement it.
They would control who the licensed 'Internet V2' to thus kille FOSS, ORacle and probably Apple in one stroke of the pen from the US Patent Office.

Embrace - Done
Extend - Take IPv6, add a few bells & Whistles, patent it
Extinguish - Message from Steve B to Bill G, 'Looks Good'

Tap tap tap ... (3, Funny)

Obfuscant (592200) | about 5 years ago | (#29771191)

Hi, I see you're trying to use the Minternet. Would you like some hints on how to increase the priority of your traffic to Flash Override.

You an also improve the throughput of your attached USB device by plugging it into a USB2 port, which is what you would have done if this computer actually had USB2 ports on it, but it doesn't, and I'm not going to tell you how to shut these annoying messages off.

Re:Tap tap tap ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771609)

Minternet? Hmmm there has to be some way we can make use of these llamas and mutant camels...

Misleading (5, Informative)

kevin_conaway (585204) | about 5 years ago | (#29771195)

From reading the actual BAA [fbo.gov] , it sounds like this is not an effort to replace IP networks but to supplement them with additional protocols. In fact, the requirements explicitly state that MNP must carry legacy IPv4 and IPv6 traffic.

How about.. The MSN Network ! (3, Funny)

ivan_w (1115485) | about 5 years ago | (#29771239)

Hey.. MS has a good track record when it comes to implementing a new ubiquitous network right ?

Remember MSN (the thing that was suppose to kill the internet.. So much better than TCP/IP that Win 95 didn't have a TCP/IP stack to start with) ?

I'm wondering (ok.. not *really* wondering) why they went to those guys to do that..

--Ivan

Is it just me... (1)

jjohnson (62583) | about 5 years ago | (#29771305)

Or does $31 million sound like petty cash for Lockheed Martin and Microsoft to invent a superior, military grade communications protocol?

It isn't just you (1)

MikeRT (947531) | about 5 years ago | (#29771389)

Considering the rates that companies like Lockheed charge, it'll burn through the $31M in no time. My guess is that what they'll do is take IPv6 and see if they can make it cooler for the military instead of reinventing the wheel.

Re:Is it just me... (2, Interesting)

convolvatron (176505) | about 5 years ago | (#29771407)

sure, in comparison to the piles of money previously given to large contractors to flail around pretending to solve the unique mission critical requirements of the military, its nothing!

Of course! (2, Insightful)

s-whs (959229) | about 5 years ago | (#29771309)

> Lockheed will be partnered with [snip]
> and - of course - Microsoft
> in developing the MNP

What's "of course" about this?

Really, this is no different from managers, company directors etc. who achieve nothing, or even drive companies bankrupt, yet still manage to obtain the next job to fuck up.

What the hell is up with these people?

Oh btw, any story on slashdot that somehow mentions Microsoft should automatically be assigned a non-removable tag: f*ckmicrosoft.

And finally: What's with the (extremely annoying) capitalisation of each word in a headline on Slashdot and many other places? That's bad practice and makes sentences (headlines too) less readable.

While Browsing the M$ Internet.... (2, Funny)

schmaustech (766915) | about 5 years ago | (#29771353)

While browsing the M$ Internet, I received a STOP Error, that was when the helpful paper clip told me to reboot my routers.

How does the whole Danger incident affect this? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771361)

I wonder if any of the brass that signed off on this are having second thoughts after the Danger incident earlier this week. Or will "Oh shit, we lost all the data" be a good excuse the next time they can't find incriminating emails?

Also, apparently institutional memory only lasts for about 10 years in the military, because they've clearly forgotten about the USS Yorktown in 1998...
http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/1998/07/13987

Well (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771363)

It was fun while it lasted. This is the end ...

Yeah Right (4, Funny)

Tablizer (95088) | about 5 years ago | (#29771387)

Asking Microsoft to help with security is like asking Jessica Simpson for advice on staying out of the spotlight.
     

With that many partners and objectives ... (1)

tickticktickfast (663451) | about 5 years ago | (#29771495)

its bound to end up being one big cluster fornication.
Our cyberspace enemies should be rejoicing at this news.

don't worry (2, Insightful)

jipn4 (1367823) | about 5 years ago | (#29771597)

The taxpayer will pay for it, it will look great on paper but be overly complicated ($31m buys a lot of unnecessary engineering), Microsoft and Lockheed will patent it, they'll market the hell out of it, and they'll create a slow and buggy Windows implementation with Microsoft-proprietary "enhancements" that make it non-interoperable.

Then industry is going to settle on something different because the standard is patent-encumbered, too complicated, and doesn't work right anyway.

M$ is helping?!?! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771645)

This is the WORST thing to EVERY happen.

Microsoft Hell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771675)

I'm sorry, the devil is at work here, Microsoft to implement an international "secure" networking protocol? We are indeed doomed. Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer, burn in hell. In God we trust.

Re:Microsoft Hell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 5 years ago | (#29771709)

Recently I also heard that Larry Flint was going to design and "implement" his own line of chastity belts.

"Improved security"? (1)

Cornwallis (1188489) | about 5 years ago | (#29771701)

With Microsoft's help?

ROTFLMAO!

I guess it'll be based on their new protocol code-named "Oxymoron".

The Patented Internet (1)

erroneus (253617) | about 5 years ago | (#29771707)

You can bet they can't resist the urge to patent everything they touch -- both Microsoft and Lockheed. And while they may or may not be allowable at the moment, there's nothing to say they couldn't renegotiate to enable charging patent rights in lieu of direct payment. You know, sort of how George Lucas did with Star Wars and marketing rights?

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