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Climate, Habitat Threaten Wild Coffee Species

timothy posted more than 3 years ago | from the ok-panic dept.

Earth 274

An anonymous reader writes "BBC reports that Dr. Aaron Davis of the Royal Botanical Gardens claims 'almost three-quarters of the world's wild coffee species are threatened, as a result of habitat loss and climate change. "Conserving the genetic diversity within this genus has implications for the sustainability of our daily cup, particularly as coffee plantations are highly susceptible to climate change.'"

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Daily cup? (3, Funny)

mrjb (547783) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524096)

Try hourly.

Re:Daily cup? (1)

MBGMorden (803437) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524564)

Just go to bigger cups. I swear the former HR director here used to drink out of what I can only describe as a coffee BUCKET. It had to be at least 64oz.

Personally though I've got this weird handicap in that I can't seem to make good coffee if my life depended on it, so I usually save coffee drinking as an occasional treat during a trip to the local coffee-house and get my daily caffeine from Diet Mt Dew (which I drink about 6-8 of per day :)).

Making good coffee (1)

handy_vandal (606174) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524850)

Personally though I've got this weird handicap in that I can't seem to make good coffee if my life depended on it.

Try a different preparation method, or methods plural, until you find a method that works for you. Also, try different beans, and different degrees of grind.

For example, get an espresso maker, if you don't already have one.

Or do what I do: get a Turkish-style brass pot, and very finely milled Turkish-style coffee, which cooks up thick-as-sludge coffee delight. (I add ground cinnamon, sometimes cardamom and nutmeg, before cooking.) Yum!

Re:Daily cup? (2, Informative)

lobsterGun (415085) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524930)

try this next time you make coffee.

- make sure the equipment is clean; Just rinsing it out isn't enough, everything needs to be washed.
- grind the beans yourself, or buy fresh grounds. Coffee grounds go stale in just a few days.
- use lots of coffee. 2 tablespoons per cup.
- use good tasting water. If you don't like the taste of the water before it becomes coffee, you probably won't like it post brewing.

Re:Daily cup? (1)

KC7JHO (919247) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525390)

good points, all! Also use cold water when making it, Hot water will cause the coffee to burn while it cooks and have a much more bitter flavor. The best coffee i can make is made with very good well filtered water, with out good water you will always get crap coffee.

Re:Daily cup? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30525338)

Bigger cups make for cold coffee. I drink mine black without further additions -- no frothy milk or vanilla syrup or latte -- no sirree. Unleaded all the way.

Re:Daily cup? (1)

WormholeFiend (674934) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524588)

Sounds like you're drinking failcoffee.

Switch to freshly roasted (but not too dark) quality coffee, which is ground just before brewing.

Re:Daily cup? (2, Funny)

von_rick (944421) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524750)

You don't have to compromise on quantity even if you preserve the quality. Heck, I medium roast the raw beans every weekend, and grind it before brewing - but still I drink about 2 pots/day.

Re:Daily cup? (2, Informative)

PPalmgren (1009823) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525266)

I remember watching a documentary about caffeine and its effects on the brain. At first, it provides a boost to mental alertness, but when consumed on a regular basis, this edge dissapears and caffeine is required to provide your old regular mental alertness. This symptom dissapears after 2-3 weeks of abstinence.

Do what I did, ween yourself off of it, and only consume it when you really need it. This way, caffeine actually gives you a boost rather than bringing you back up to speed. I love the practical applications of relativity.

Truth is stranger than fiction (1)

patiodragon (920102) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525308)

ELAINE
      Please, ladies and gentlemen, please calm down. Listen to me! [They calm down.]
ELAINE
      We've been thrown off course just a tad.
PASSENGER
        What's that mean?
ELAINE
      In space terms, about 70 million miles. [The Passengers appear interested and sensible, nod their heads]
ELAINE
    The bumps you feel are car-sized asteroids smashing into the hull. The hood of a car smashes through the cabin wall. [The Passengers still appear interested and sensible.]
ELAINE
      Also, we're heading right for the sun and can't seem to change course. [Passengers still appear interested and sensible. They all put on sunglasses.]
PASSENGER
      Are you telling us everything?
ELAINE
      Not exactly. We're also out of coffee. [The Passengers erupt in total panic.]

So let me get this straight (4, Funny)

dkleinsc (563838) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524106)

A risk of Pacific island nations ending up underwater? Not a serious problem. But threaten my coffee supply and I'll take to the streets!

Something might be a bit off on the priorities there.

Re:So let me get this straight (4, Insightful)

timeOday (582209) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524270)

"Risk" is only intolerable when it comes to terrorism. When it comes to climate change, we require certainty. (Why, I don't know).

Re:So let me get this straight (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30524952)

Because terrorism has been a certainty for almost 4 decades now. There is no debate on whether or not terrorists have been killing innocent Americans and citizens of other nations around the world. There is no question as to what methods work and which ones don't in the effort to stop terrorism. Everything that was tried before 9-11 failed, leaving only one option. Kill them all. Even hostage negotiators will talk and talk and talk until someone dies, then time for talking is over. The only solution at that point is to kill the hostage takers. Sorry if that hurts your sensitive little feelings but it's how things work in the real world. Unfortunately, little pussy shits like you increase the death toll by preventing those who know what needs to be done from taking care of the problem, leaving terrorists free to continue killing.

Climate change however has been outed as the scam it is, and even before that there was no consensus as to whether or not man was causing it.

If you're going to take huge amounts of the fruits of my labor to solve a problem then you damn well better be certain of the cause of the problem. Being weak minded and letting politicians control you through the fear of the imaginary is not a good enough reason.

Re:So let me get this straight (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30525038)

preventing those who know what needs to be done from taking care of the problem

Fuck you. (Former) President Bush stayed his course, this was his war until it became Obama's. Everything that happened until then had absolutely nothing to do with "little pussy shits" unless you're going to man up and call Bush a little pussy shit.

Re:So let me get this straight (1)

slim (1652) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525156)

Climate change however has been outed as the scam it is

Where?

And if you say the CRU email leaks, you'd better have new and significant findings from in there, because I haven't seen evidence of a scam yet.

Re:So let me get this straight (4, Insightful)

homer_s (799572) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525418)

Maybe you don't, but I certainly do.

It is the same setup as the Iraq war:
- all the experts agree
- if you don't support it, you're a terrorist
- sudden alarmism because of unrelated events (9/11 for iraq, the al gore movie for this)
- exaggerated claims (mushroom clouds vs new york under water)
- scaremongering
- ignore evidence that shows that the conclusions were assumed


I don't know much about climate or the statistics behind it. And I didn't know anything about WMDs or the intelligence business. But I know something about human motivations and in both cases, I could smell the BS a mile away.

Re:So let me get this straight (2, Interesting)

Anynomous Coward (841063) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525462)

If you haven't seen evidence of a scam yet, you need to open your eyes, remove your hand from in front of them and start looking. Here's a start. [tinypic.com]

Re:So let me get this straight (5, Insightful)

mhelander (1307061) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525216)

So you start by stating how rational you think the view on terrorism has been, and go on to lament that we don't (enough) apply the same hysteria to climate change?

With the current level of polemic, those who point out holes in your arguments are painted as akin to holocaust deniers, flat-earthers and creationists and now as apparently so cynical that they care more for a cup of coffee than for people who see their land go underwater.

It seems so hysterical at times that if someone tries to object to this coffee claim by pointing out that it seems likely that the coffee plant would be able to *adapt* to climate change, the way it and everyone else on this planet has been doing for quite a while, it would almost not surprise me to see him labeled a "creationist"...

Re:So let me get this straight (3, Insightful)

Virak (897071) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525224)

That's because fighting terrorism merely requires giving up your freedoms, whereas fighting climate change requires giving up your SUV and that shit is serious fucking business.

Re:So let me get this straight (1)

NevarMore (248971) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524914)

Something might be a bit off on the priorities there.

Absolutely. Those Pacific islands should be figuring out what coffee grown in their soil or crapped out by the local fauna will taste like.

Re:So let me get this straight (1)

couchslug (175151) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525032)

"A risk of Pacific island nations ending up underwater? Not a serious problem."

Not to be harsh, but the nations that would be underwater are small and not worth sacrifice by the large and important. I understand that there is sentiment in behalf of preserving every culture, but outside that there is no reason to do so. There are vast quantities of humans and as with other animals, some will thrive at the expense of others.

As for coastal cities, they can be replaced in a generation with improved infrastructure. That which man builds he can build again, and reconstruction is a great economic stimulus.

Re:So let me get this straight (2, Insightful)

Virak (897071) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525350)

You could've phrased it far more succinctly as "Poor people are poor, so fuck 'em!"

Re:So let me get this straight (1)

Prefader (1072814) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525368)

ELAINE: We've been thrown off course just a tad.
PASSENGER: What's that mean?
ELAINE: In space terms, about 70 million miles.
The Passengers appear interested and sensible, nod their heads.
ELAINE: The bumps you feel are car-sized asteroids smashing into the hull.
The hood of a car smashes through the cabin wall. The Passengers still appear interested and sensible.
ELAINE: Also, we're heading right for the sun and can't seem to change course.
The Passengers still appear interested and sensible. They all put on sunglasses.
PASSENGER: Are you telling us everything?
ELAINE: Not exactly. We're also out of coffee.
The Passengers errupt in total panic.

Maybe I'm trolling... (2, Interesting)

Xacid (560407) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524114)

Watch now that people will suddenly care about climate change just as people only cared about fuel efficiency when gas prices rose!

Re:Maybe I'm trolling... (2, Interesting)

Q-Hack! (37846) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524682)

Eh... When the climate change happens, I will be ready with my parka and a warm fire.

Re:Maybe I'm trolling... (1)

ArsonSmith (13997) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524734)

Me, I'll be headed to the Canadian beaches!!

Re:Maybe I'm trolling... (0, Troll)

HeLLFiRe1151 (743468) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524702)

The only thing about climate change that I do care about is the amount of bullshit news there is about it. Every problem in the world is somehow associated with it in a knee jerk fashion. Yet somehow, researchers are always discovering these species of animals and plants that were thought to be extinct.

So let me get this straight (1, Troll)

SQL_SAM (697455) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524122)

If we redistribute the wealth of America for the hoax of global warming (which is what Copenhagen was about) we'll save some coffee beans? That's okay I'll drink tea.....

So? (1)

LWATCDR (28044) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524130)

I don't drink coffee.

Re:So? (1)

Hatta (162192) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524260)

Maybe, but you'll still have to fight off the shambling hordes of caffeine addicts if anything serious happens to the supply.

Re:So? (2, Funny)

sznupi (719324) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524426)

So that is how we'll get a zombie apocalypse!

Finally, after all this waiting (yes, also not drinking coffee/tea/etc.)

Re:So? (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524608)

Well, hey, I didn't spend all those years playing "Left4Dead" and not learn a little something about courage.

Re:So? (1)

Velodra (1443121) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525290)

all those years playing "Left4Dead"

Left 4 dead was launched 13 months ago, so either I missed the memo about redefining the length of a year or someone has invented a time machine.

Re:So? (1)

dunkelfalke (91624) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525008)

They still can switch to tea. Plenty of caffeine there and because of all the tannines it acts milder and longer.

Re:So? (1)

srothroc (733160) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524520)

I don't either, but I'm surrounded by people who do, which makes it a problem for me. I'd imagine you're in the same situation.

Re:So? (1)

xaxa (988988) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524978)

I don't either, but I'm surrounded by people who do, which makes it a problem for me. I'd imagine you're in the same situation.

In England tea drinkers are also very common. I don't like either, and usually drink water at work. Sometimes I drink squash [wikipedia.org] . In a coffee shop I'd order hot chocolate.

I once saw a colleague drinking Bovril [wikipedia.org] (a runny paste made from cows, which can be diluted in hot water). Yuk!

Re:So? (1)

von_rick (944421) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524548)

But your system admin survives on that stuff. Would you want a your system admin to go nuts because he didn't get his 3 cups of coffee before lunch?

Re:So? (1)

LWATCDR (28044) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525176)

No he doesn't only the support techs here do.

Re:So? (1)

slim (1652) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525430)

Could you provide a list of things you do eat, drink, use?

You know, a whitelist so we don't waste our time worrying about things that don't affect LWATCDR in future...

Do they make drinkable coffee? (2, Funny)

NevarMore (248971) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524134)

Free market saves.

Specifically harvest and sell these beans with the usual "its green 25-50%" markup plus the 10-15% free trade thing. Becomes desirable to save these species for profitability, the green-tards are separated from their money before they can do something annoying with it, and everyone wins.

Not a new warning (3, Informative)

phlinn (819946) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524144)

As found on the warmlist [numberwatch.co.uk] , this isn't the first time climate change has been accused of threatening coffee [terradaily.com] . Amazing how climate change seems to be the bane of all existence...

Re:Not a new warning (2, Insightful)

Gadget_Guy (627405) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524494)

Amazing how climate change seems to be the bane of all existence...

Yep. Who would have thought that global warming could actually affect different things across the globe.

Re:Not a new warning (4, Insightful)

ArsonSmith (13997) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524780)

The decided that "Global Warming" changed to "Global Climate Change" you know in case it started cooling. They should just change it to "Global scary thing that affects everything you do and you need to give us money to protect you from it."

Re:Not a new warning (3, Insightful)

Virak (897071) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525014)

No, they changed "global warming" to "climate change" because idiots like you thought "global warming" meant that every single point on the planet would monotonically increase year-over-year, and to a lesser extent because "climate change" is more accurate anyway because the increase in carbon dioxide has other effects too, such as ocean acidification. Unfortunately, they failed to consider that idiots like you would think this is more evidence of a massive global conspiracy to steal your freedom and monies.

Re:Not a new warning (1)

AshtangiMan (684031) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525150)

I wonder why it upsets some people here (of all places) to look into how the climate change is effecting different aspects of the ecosystem. Yes it has been happening for the entire life of the planet, but we're only just now (say the last 50 years) able to observe the effects in meaningful ways. I thought that geeks were supposed to be interested in that sort of thing. It's not like the article stated "SUV drivers and coal plants are threatening the survival of wild coffee". I like your reply, but think perhaps stronger language might be in order. The OP is certainly way across the idiot line, as climate change could quite realistically be called the cause of all existance.

Re:Not a new warning (1)

ArsonSmith (13997) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525384)

He was obviously being sarcastic.

Re:Not a new warning (1)

xaxa (988988) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525082)

The whole globe will get warmer, but the whole globe isn't a uniform temperature. Prevailing winds and oceanic currents -- which move lots of heat around the world -- are likely to change, which will affect which places are warmed or cooled by them.

For instance, Norway and the British Isles are significantly warmed in summer by the currents in the Atlantic (it's currently 2C in London, and -10C in Quebec, which is further south). If those currents shift slightly, that will make these countries much colder in the winter and warmer in the summer, which would be hugely disruptive.

Re:Not a new warning (2, Interesting)

Abcd1234 (188840) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524640)

As found on the warmlist, this isn't the first time climate change has been accused of threatening coffee. Amazing how climate change seems to be the bane of all existence...

Well, given that every species on the planet, including ourselves, is thoroughly adapted to their current environment=, I'm a little shocked you find that surprising.

Of course, species will adapt or die off, but that's really the point: The species we rely on now are exquisitely adapted to their specific climates (coffee has a very narrow growth range, AFAIK, and is very sensitive to temperature, humidity, and so forth), so it should be no great news that their survival is threatened by climate change.

Re:Not a new warning (1)

Ironsides (739422) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524878)

Well, given that every species on the planet, including ourselves, is thoroughly adapted to their current environment=, I'm a little shocked you find that surprising.

For humans, which environment would that be? The Sahara Desert, the Russian Siberia, the Amazon Rainforest, the Himalayan Mountains, the US Plains, the Pacific Islands? Humans have adapted to be able to live everywhere.

Re:Not a new warning (4, Insightful)

Abcd1234 (188840) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525112)

Humans have adapted to be able to live everywhere.

Yeah, no kidding. But if the climate *changes*, then we have to actively adapt, and that means some people will die. Heat waves will kill some, cold snaps will kill others. Flooded coastal areas will displace some, while droughts and torrential rains will displace others. Meanwhile, crop and grazing land will be destroyed so that those who do adapt to the changes run the risk of starvation.

Will humans adapt? Sure! The sufficiently rich will move to more hospitable areas. Sufficient rich farmers will move to new cropland. But the subsistence farmers and the poor who lack the means to move will die.

But, eh, fuck them, right?

Re:Not a new warning (1)

AshtangiMan (684031) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525230)

A little bid misleading. The human adaptation is less about the organism, and more about the things we build to help us adapt. Part of that coping is to rely on other things (flora and fauna) that are much less able to follow suit, and it is those things that are threatened. Not to say that humans would not find other ways, rather that is the point, we will find other ways. But it is interesting to note that we can't really save the rest of the ecosystem, so we'd better pay attention to what is going on so we can be better prepared. Humans are exceptional in this way . . . we have the ability to change our environment to suit ourselves (that is, indoor vs. outdoor not the damn genesis project). Insects do it too.

Re:Not a new warning (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30525050)

Global Warming threatens (fill in favorite vice/past time/ethnic group/international cause here), women and children hit hardest.

Global Warming is now a caricature of itself.

Re:Not a new warning (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30525322)

I tend to think it's more because coffee plant cultivation is an extremely delicate process. Anyone who's tried to grow coffee can tell you how finicky they are. If temperature is just slightly off, the plants freak out. Calling global warming on stuff is the new fun thing to do these days, so I think pepople are just looking for something new to freak out over.

now it's serious (3, Funny)

rgravina (520410) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524150)

OK Earth, you've threated my coffee supply. Now I'm listening!

This is an outrage! (1)

PakProtector (115173) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524164)

That's it. I didn't really care about climate change before, and whether or not it was anthropogenic, but THIS MUST END NOW!

WE MUST SAVE THE COFFEE! SAVE THE COFFEE!

Finally... (5, Funny)

glgraca (105308) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524182)

man will have a true incentive que stop polluting.

There's a joke in Brazil about a lion that fled the zoo and ended up in a government building. Each day he would eat a civil servant. He was doing very well, until one day he ate the lady in charge of making coffee. Then people finally noticed something bad had happened.

Adaption (4, Insightful)

QuoteMstr (55051) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524232)

As Coffea arabica has shown us, in the age of man, being delicious is a very powerful adaption.

Re:Adaption (5, Insightful)

Abcd1234 (188840) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524706)

Absolutely. It's not unlike the modern banana monoculture. As a species, the modern banana has been *very* successful, thanks to it being desirable to humans.

But monocultures are also very dangerous. By minimizing genetic variation in a population, the species becomes extremely susceptible to new types of disease, fungus, and so forth. And again, bananas teach us much, here, as there's great fear that the modern banana could end up being wiped out by disease.

Thus, protecting these heirloom species is extremely important, as it provides a pool of genetic diversity is present in the wild, providing some protection against the dangers of monoculture.

Re:Adaption (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30524876)

Whoa....hold on; are implying the modern banana has been adapted by man? What about Kirk Cameron's view that bananas are proof of an intelligent designer?

Re:Adaption (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30525414)

Most bananas are actually quite small and not so sweet. and yes the 'dessert' banana is a proof of intelligent design, the designer(s) is of course some humans...

Re:Adaption (1)

jfengel (409917) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525160)

Very much so. Michael Pollan's book "Botany of Desire" is about the way four plants' usefulness has been a great advantage to the plant. Not just deliciousness (apples and potatoes) but also attractiveness (tulips) and, uh... cannabis.

Very good read.

http://www.amazon.com/Botany-Desire-Plants-Eye-View-World/dp/0375501290#reader_0375501290 [amazon.com]

"First they ignore you, then..." (1)

BobMcD (601576) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524248)

"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they hack your email servers, then you threaten their coffee supply and they FREAKING SURRENDER."

/whiteflag

It must be Juan Valdez (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30524262)

and his green house gas emitting mule, Conchita. Put a cork in it, dude!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juan_Valdez [wikipedia.org]

Watch out for the USA, Cameroon! (1)

fantomas (94850) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524288)

"'almost three-quarters of the world's wild coffee species are threatened"

Finally, American politicians might take notice of climate change and seriously engage with the issue!

Oh wait, when their access to oil was threatened they just invaded an oil producing country. Err, watch out Cameroon.... ;-)

Re:Watch out for the USA, Cameroon! (3, Informative)

CrimsonAvenger (580665) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524518)

Oh wait, when their access to oil was threatened they just invaded an oil producing country.

Someday, the people who say this are going to learn how stupid it is.

The USA has never imported oil from Iraq. Not now, not when Saddam was in charge, not before that.

The USA imports less than 10% of its oil from the Middle East. The largest source of imported oil in the USA is that internationally known terrorist hotspot Canada...

Re:Watch out for the USA, Cameroon! (2, Insightful)

Red Flayer (890720) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524604)

The USA has never imported oil from Iraq. Not now, not when Saddam was in charge, not before that.

It's not about US-consumed oil.

It's about US (and British!) companies getting the oil to enrich themselves, their boards, and associated politicos (Cheney, et al).

No oil contracts (1)

rastilin (752802) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524902)

It's not about US-consumed oil. It's about US (and British!) companies getting the oil to enrich themselves, their boards, and associated politicos (Cheney, et al).

Except no western companies got any of the oil contracts from Iraq, not even BHP.

Re:Watch out for the USA, Cameroon! (2, Informative)

xaxa (988988) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525098)

Increasing the world supply of oil decreases the global price of oil. Since the USA is a net importer, that benefits the USA.

They're recruiting (2, Funny)

ZeroExistenZ (721849) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524290)

Conserving the genetic diversity within this genus has implications for the sustainability of our daily cup

... geeks for the anti-global-warming ring:

Happy day, geek walking up to coffee machine to read note: "Please be informed, due to potential global warming, there is no more coffee, EVER.".

Geek falls on his knees to the floor, with his dilbert printed mug explodes in chards upon impact on the same floor, with a sharp sound as the geek releases a load screaming while shaking his fist at the heavens:
"OMG NOT MY COFFEE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! ID ANYTHING FOR COFFEE! IF I ONLY SAW THIS ONE COMING! I was soo proud, thinking I could bend nature, the fool I have been", while he rests his face, sobbing, in his hands in the mids of his fallen empire of productivity, the once caffeinated multitasking geek, he.

That very deperate moment the globalwarming-genie pops in with a puff of black CO2-rich smoke:
"There is a way, my good brave intellectual... But it will be a challenging quest...", while the disoriented geek looks up, licking his thinkgeek caffeine soapbar, bubbling a partial disoriented yet interested:
"Wut?"

I'm All Out of Mod Points, But... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30524404)

...slashdot doesn't have a -1 "Not Nearly as Funny as Poster Thinks It Is" modification anyway...

Re:I'm All Out of Mod Points, But... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30524596)

Someone didn't get his coffee this morning...

Big woop. (1)

yourassOA (1546173) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524306)

3/4 of the plants the the world used for human consumption are threatened/damn near extinct ( except in their genetically modified form) thanks to Monsanto. Take mangoes, monsanto's modified mangos have cross pollinated with all the non monsanto mangos now all the mangos are monsanto. Here in Canada if your neighbours round up ready canola cross polinates with your canola you have to pay monsanto for their crop infecting yours. And as far as the coffe maybe they should stop cutting down trees to raise cows? And give the global warming a break can't find anything else to blame? The earth was warmer in the past than it is now so why didn't all these plants and animals die out in the midevil warming period. remember one degree with kill thousands of species of plants and animals right? How come it is alright for monsanto to kill off thousands of species of plants replacing them with geneticaly modified wierdos and then the governments gives them patents on all the plants. Didn't know most of your food is patented huh?

ha. (1)

girlintraining (1395911) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524332)

Switch to tea. Sorted.

Re:ha. (0, Troll)

troll8901 (1397145) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524418)

But it isn't the same taste or smell. (Even if it gives me the same boost in alertness.)

There's something peculiar about men ... they love their sliced bread and coffee to death, even when there's so many other alternatives.

Men are strange, aren't they?

Re:ha. (1)

girlintraining (1395911) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524514)

Men are strange, aren't they?

*sniffs* Yes, yes you are.

Re:ha. (1)

Titan1080 (1328519) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524968)

I like both tea and coffee but tea is easier to make and lasts me longer. I can brew a gallon of tea and it lasts me a 2 or 3 days. Coffee has to be brewed every morning and tastes like crap if the pot is more than a few hours old.

Re:ha. (1)

dunkelfalke (91624) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525042)

But it isn't the same taste or smell.

The more reason to switch. Coffee smells and tastes awful.

There's something peculiar about men ... they love their sliced bread and coffee to death, even when there's so many other alternatives.

Do not make generalisations. I hate coffee.

Re:ha. (1)

slim (1652) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525514)

About all they have in common is caffeine, wetness and (different degrees of) hotness.

There are more things to enjoy about coffee than just these three things.

Horse shit (0)

fnj (64210) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524462)

This is Chicken Little global warming horse shit. OK, if the climate warms up a few degrees, the latitudes where coffee is grown may conceivably shift north and south a bit. Big deal. You guys crack me up.

Re:Horse shit (1)

smooth wombat (796938) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524752)

the latitudes where coffee is grown may conceivably shift north and south a bit. Big deal.

Except there's that little bit of not having the correct soil or location to plant the coffee trees. It's not just about the temperature, it's about the area itself.

There's a reason grapes aren't grown in the desert. For more information [beverageanswers.com] .

Then there's the matter of time. Even if you plant the seeds to grow new plants, it takes years for the trees to full develop and produce decent beans.

Re:Horse shit (1)

slim (1652) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525234)

TOA refers to wild coffee. You think the wild coffee will magically migrate along with the climate patterns? Leaping over any unsuitable terrain?

Even for farmed coffee, I can foresee significant obstacles to moving production. Will there be enough land at the new latitude? Will whatever is currently grown there also be displaced? If not, where can the coffee go? Is the terrain suitable?

Scare tactics... (3, Insightful)

vvaduva (859950) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524502)

So they are running out of boogie men - now it's "you'll lose your daily caffeine." Coffee trees enjoy warm climates; what if "global warming" will BENEFIT coffee crops? Most of these guys don't know their asses from their coffee cups, how do they know how an entire species of trees will react to climate change?

That tree survived for millions of years on a planet that faced all kinds of cataclysmic events; I am sure it will be just fine, especially under the protection of mankind.

Re:Scare tactics... (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524654)

That tree survived for millions of years on a planet that faced all kinds of cataclysmic events

But remember, mere surviving and being fruitful and lush are not the same thing. There's a lot of consumers, and sick, skinny trees are not going to supply them.
 

Re:Scare tactics... (1)

vvaduva (859950) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524832)

That's a good point, however the modern man has been drinking coffee en masse for what...a hundred or two hundred years? What's the worst that can happen? We stop drinking coffee, we sleep better, work less and are less strung out. That sounds all good to me :)

Re:Scare tactics... (3, Insightful)

Abcd1234 (188840) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524794)

Coffee trees enjoy warm climates; what if "global warming" will BENEFIT coffee crops?

Nope, sorry. Coffee trees enjoy a very *specific* type of climate, which is why the growing regions are restricted to specific altitudes, latitudes, rainfall rates, and so forth. Change that environment significantly and the result would be very destructive.

That tree survived for millions of years on a planet that faced all kinds of cataclysmic events

In their current form? Doubtful. All plants either evolve or die off. More likely is that the tree evolved to fit a particular niche that wasn't filled by any other plant. But the current species is now very sensitive to it's growing conditions, as it's exquisitely well adapted to where it grows (as any coffee cultivator will tell you).

Of course, given enough time, species will typically evolve to new pressures (although they may just as often die out... when was the last time you saw a sabre toothed tiger?). Unless, of course, the rate of change is too drastic, and the species is unable to adapt before those pressures become overwhelming (poor poor tigers)...

Doesn't Matter (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30524568)

I exploit cheap labour and don't drink wild coffee.

they got us by the BEANS! (1)

Phizzle (1109923) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524572)

Took them long enough, but finally this is the right Global Warming spin! General public doesn't give a rats ass about atolls, glaciers, or endangered species, but threaten the daily Cup Of Joe and the masses will rally!

Who gives a Civet shit ... (1)

tyroneking (258793) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524620)

... because eventually Good Ol' Global Warming (GOGW) will devastate those tropical countries too stupid to take extreme advantage of their natural crop resources to subjugate the world - and eventually it will all be grown in England! Coffee, wine, bananas, Civets, all that 1st world cash-crop crap; hell, even cocaine! And then England can finally return to its rightful place as the oppressor of millions / billions through simple honest restriction of trade! And the US can go f**k itself! (totally unrelated of course, because the US will have all that soya crop and probably more cocaine).

Seriously for a minute, is it really in the western world's interest to stop GOGW if we get to grow coffee, wine and cocaine (and Civets) in our own back yards? I mean really.

(This post is sponsored by the Illuminati or the Boy Scouts of America)

Re:Who gives a Civet shit ... (1)

couchslug (175151) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524960)

"because the US will have all that soya crop and probably more cocaine"

We can grow moobs due to soy-induced endocrine disruption while being as annoying as Billy Mays!

Re:Who gives a Civet shit ... (1)

tyroneking (258793) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524990)

I think that a US filled with moobs will be not much different than now - ha ha!

Re:Who gives a Civet shit ... (1)

slim (1652) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525270)

Nifty trolling. But the UK doesn't have enough land to grow enough produce to feed its current population. Without drastic population reduction (unachievable without significant economic strife) we need imports.

Re:Who gives a Civet shit ... (1)

tyroneking (258793) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525380)

Well if you're going to bring common sense in to it all then I think we _can_ feed ourselves, if we focus on community supported agriculture, reduce the consumption of meat and reduce waste and more sustainable agriculture - I think we could even raise the amount of people supported by a hectre of crop land by maybe 1/8 th with just a change in some agro methods - and maybe replacing 50% of the land resources devoted to farm animals would also increase arable yields
of course my original point would be that we could grow cash crops (and Civets :) and that has nothing to do with feeding ourselves and lot more to do with making lots of dirty money (mainly from wine and cocaine)
not as if we don't import about 40% of our food anyway so that really was not the point

Here, have a slogan... (1)

TrickFred (231420) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524678)

Go Green, Save The Bean!

Irony (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524688)

So now Glenn Beck will be sleepy and mellow when he rants about "The Global Warming Hoax".

It's obligatory (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30524724)

If something is happening to the environment, you MUST invoke climate change. It's a rule.

If the local population strips the island of trees and all the soil is washed into the ocean, YOU MUST INVOKE CLIMATE CHANGE. It's not their fault, it's the fault of the rich fat cat Americans who cause climate change. If we just get all the nasty carbon dioxide pollution out of the atmosphere, all our problems will disappear. It's true, within a very few years, we won't be worrying about climate change any more*.

I think it's some kind of magic formula or something ... or maybe an arcane rite ... I have no clue why, but climate change must be invoked.

*because all the plants will be dead, followed shortly after by most of us, but that's good because we will no longer be worrying about climate change.

Next on the shortage list... (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524788)

Pizza and Mt. Dew

No cause for alarm (3, Insightful)

Shivetya (243324) | more than 3 years ago | (#30524806)

First off this quote is key

The discoveries showed how little of the world's plant species had been documented, the researchers said.

In other words, they are extrapolating, or in layman's terms pulling numbers of out their ass while capitalizing on the global warming scare which they still believe the public to have fully bought.

Second it is about "wild" plants, meaning not what you tend to find at your supermarket or local bistro.

whats next? Threaten beer?

Re:No cause for alarm (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#30525426)

FTA:

Professor Hopper said that, around the globe, about 2,000 species were described for the first time each year, adding that it was "vital" that these areas of botanical sciences were adequately funded and supported.

Climate change, is there anything it can't do?

God dammit... (1)

sandmaninator (884661) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525218)

Republicans don't drink coffee!

Might improve coffee flavor? (2, Insightful)

Antique Geekmeister (740220) | more than 3 years ago | (#30525254)

I don't know if younger or less aware drinkers have noticed, but there is a lot of truly horrid southeast Asian farmed coffee that has entered the market. I've been tasting it mixed with more expensive beans to make "morning blends", or used in flavored coffee where its lack of coffee aroma and its aftertaste of lemongrass is concealed. The next time you visit one of those less successful coffee bars, try to get a good whiff of the beans before they're ground to see why they're so much less expensive and so much less successful. The distinction between the richer, more full-scented, quality beans and the weird, always half-priced, Asian sacks of mud, sticks, and a few coffee beans is quite noticeable.

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