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What Are the Best Valentine's Day Stunts?

ScuttleMonkey posted more than 4 years ago | from the romance-is-not-using-high-grade-chloroform dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 470

With the oh-so-dreaded Hallmark holiday on the horizon we are flooded with tips and tricks (mostly designed to sell us things our mates cannot live without) of how to please/capture/sedate the ones we care for. One writer even suggests ways to capture the interest of a geeky girl. That said, what are some of the crazier romantically inspired, geeky V-day stunts or activities that you or someone you know has executed to terrible success or failure?

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Talking to a girl (5, Funny)

jayme0227 (1558821) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062478)

I know. It's out there, but, contrary to my expectations, she didn't totally humiliate me in front of everyone in the cafeteria.

Re:Talking to a girl (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062588)

You sure that was a girl? Could have been some flesh eating alien in disguise or something actually worse. You know like an actual girl.

Re:Talking to a girl (5, Funny)

TrisexualPuppy (976893) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062680)

I tell mine "Happy VD!" every year, and every year, I am immediately dumped. I just don't get it!

Re:Talking to a girl (5, Funny)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062756)

Maybe she / he / it (????) just figured out your nic.

Re:Talking to a girl (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062770)

and then she takes you back, just to dump you again next year? apparently, you're not the only one who doesn't get it...

MOD PARENT INTERESTING (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31063096)

If we get him modded to interesting, we might be able to spawn some interesting conversation...

My method... (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062650)

Now don't get TOO offended, but I sent mine here [tinyurl.com] to order some lingerie. She doesn't like being sent to order lingerie [google.com] , so she kinda got the hint!

Linux for Dummies (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062790)

Is not a good St-Valentine's Day present.

Get her pregnant (4, Insightful)

mdf356 (774923) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062484)

I never timed it around V-day, but my wife thinks getting pregnant is romantic. :-)

Re:Get her pregnant (2, Funny)

macintard (1270416) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062542)

I already did that last year for Valentine's Day!

Re:Get her pregnant (5, Funny)

Hatta (162192) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062550)

Lets see how romantic she thinks giving birth is.

Re:Get her pregnant (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062872)

Push!!

Re:Get her pregnant (1)

davester666 (731373) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063000)

Then, for 2.0, go for triplets!

Re:Get her pregnant (5, Funny)

DeadDecoy (877617) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062610)

When that happens, might I suggest the perfect date: Dim the lights, snuggle up close and watch the Aliens movie together.

Re:Get her pregnant (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062696)

My mom died that way, you insensitive clod!

(Not really... she just had me. Which, in a way, was probably the end of her life as she knew it previously. I was the first child.)

None whatsoever (4, Insightful)

Hatta (162192) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062486)

Life is not a romantic comedy. If you're already in a relationship, nice chocolate, flowers, and dinner (or any subset of the above) is plenty celebration. If you're not already in a relationship, don't start one on V-day. Just don't.

Re:None whatsoever (4, Insightful)

sarahbau (692647) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062604)

The Slashdot title didn't really have anything to do with the linked article. It's not really about stunts, but about what might be seen as romantic vs. what might be seen as lame or generic, which of course depends entirely on the recipient, so "Ask Slashdot" isn't really a good place for an answer. I personally don't care for flowers or chocolate for Valentine's day. While I love chocolate, the stuff stores stock for Valentine's day tends to be of low quality, and in tacky, heart-shaped boxes.

I agree that starting a relationship for Valentine's day is a bad idea. For some reason, people seem to think they must be in a relationship, so a lot of bad relationships are probably started for Valentine's day.

Re:None whatsoever (4, Funny)

flynt (248848) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062738)

what might be seen as romantic vs. what might be seen as lame or generic, ... , "Ask Slashdot" isn't really a good place for an answer.

You think?!

Re:None whatsoever (2, Informative)

c_sd_m (995261) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062778)

I personally don't care for flowers or chocolate for Valentine's day. While I love chocolate, the stuff stores stock for Valentine's day tends to be of low quality, and in tacky, heart-shaped boxes.

I agree, Valentine's day chocolate is generally awful. If you want to do it right, go to a real chocolatier and get a box of their specialty. It will cost you a lot more than the crap at Walmart but it will actually be worth eating and show that you put some thought into it. For flowers, at least make sure she isn't allergic or sensitive to scents first. A migraine would be the worst Valentine's day gift ever.

Re:None whatsoever (5, Funny)

blueturffan (867705) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062956)

A migraine would be the worst Valentine's day gift ever.

According to my friend's wife, the ironing board he gave her when they were first married is the worst Valentine's Day gift ever.

Re:None whatsoever (1)

c_sd_m (995261) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063090)

I guess a migraine is an excuse to spent V-day in bed. Honestly though, I'd much rather get an ironing board.

Re:None whatsoever (1)

cayenne8 (626475) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063098)

"I agree, Valentine's day chocolate is generally awful. If you want to do it right, go to a real chocolatier and get a box of their specialty. It will cost you a lot more than the crap at Walmart but it will actually be worth eating and show that you put some thought into it. For flowers, at least make sure she isn't allergic or sensitive to scents first. A migraine would be the worst Valentine's day gift ever."

I just prefer to get her hammered..that way, a good time is ensured for all concerned parties.

:)

Or... (4, Funny)

dreamchaser (49529) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062800)

Or for impressing a geeky girl once could try to execute an injection attack. Just make sure you use a Trojan or you might spawn unwanted child processes.

Re:None whatsoever (4, Insightful)

Planesdragon (210349) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062866)

Life is not a romantic comedy. If you're already in a relationship, nice chocolate, flowers, and dinner (or any subset of the above) is plenty celebration.

Romantic Comedies are popular in large part because they try and reflect what women dream of happening -- and there are worse ways to prove one's love than planning a big showy stunt that makes your beloved smile. (What worse ways? I'd say blindly giving her chocolate, flowers, and dinner. Unless you KNOW that she likes those.)

Your guiding principle is "what would make her smile." If you know her well enough to know that she would like a big showy stunt, then don't let some nobody on the internet tell you otherwise. If you know that she DOES like chocolate and flowers, then go for it.

And if you don't know her well enough to know what she likes, you don't know her well enough to give her a notable valentine's gift.

Re:None whatsoever (2, Informative)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062878)

I disagree. Life is what you make of it, and if you appreciate romantic comedies than there is no reason you can't try to make one of your own.

If you haven't been able to approach a girl because of awkward shyness (which as I understand is quite common in geeks and nerds) - than what better day than Valentines day to make -some- form of contact? On the odd chance you know where she lives, (say she is an old friend) than you can write a personalized letter and leave it in the mailbox. Girls love getting mail that isn't bills or coupons.

Say you know her name but you don't really know her, you can place a Valentine's card in her hand and say something small or you can leave it somewhere you know she'll find it. Even if it doesn't take off, it lets her know that you think of her.

Or if it is some random stranger you see on the bus everyday, you won't ever find a better day to hand out a card.

Re:None whatsoever (2, Insightful)

Duradin (1261418) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062962)

And then get hit with sexual harassment suits and/or stalking charges...

Fake VD cards? (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062496)

See how romantic she feels when she thinks her boyfriend gave her the herp.

No (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062498)

Just, no.

Well... (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062500)

One year I came home only to find I had surprised myself with a nice bottle of Jack, a box of chocolates, a bottle of lube and a pack of Kleenex.

What else did you expect, this is Slashdot.

Keep it simple (3, Insightful)

religious freak (1005821) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062508)

Flowers + alcohol = good time

Don't be a geek and try to over engineer valentine's day. Keep it simple and if she likes you, good things follow :)

Re:Keep it simple (5, Funny)

precariousgray (1663153) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062670)

Nothing says I love you better than "Here, sweetheart, I killed these for you!"

Re:Keep it simple (4, Insightful)

clone53421 (1310749) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062720)

Men have been doing that for their families for millennia.

You can’t bring home the bacon without slaughtering a pig.

Re:Keep it simple (1)

sakdoctor (1087155) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062718)

Geeks like efficiency.

Sakura wine [blogspot.com] combines flowers and alcohol.

Stunts? (4, Insightful)

IANAAC (692242) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062510)

I'm guessing you're not getting the concept.

For the record, I hate Valentine's Day. It's just silly to assign a day of the year to plan something romantic.

Re:Stunts? (3, Informative)

jhfry (829244) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062676)

Try telling that to my wife who would get exactly 0 days involving romance without V day. As much as I hate V day, it does force me to do something completely out of character to make my wife happy.

Re:Stunts? (5, Insightful)

dreamchaser (49529) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062762)

If you love someone you shouldn't need to be forced to do something to make her happy once in awhile. How sad.

Re:Stunts? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062876)

Amen dreamchaser, I couldn't agree more. If you really love someone everyday should be Valentine's Day...I know that's the way it is for me and my soulmate.

Re:Stunts? (1)

jhfry (829244) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063050)

OK.. perhaps that wasn't the best choice of words.

My wife and I don't have "traditional" romance in our relationship. For us, romance is not what most couples would consider romantic.

V day is the one day of the year that I do something that is traditional and stereotypical. And though she doesn't require it to know how I feel... she enjoys the flowers, chocolates, and candlelit dinner as that's not something we would ever do except on V day. In fact, if we did it more frequently, she probably wouldn't enjoy it so much.

I guess it's just the change of character she enjoys. Just like she loves Mothers day because she is worshiped by the kids for a day.

And that's why (2, Insightful)

DRAGONWEEZEL (125809) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063032)

I get some 364 days a year...
Thank you!

Re:Stunts? (1)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062918)

Is it silly when it makes the prices of romance items drop?

I'll tell you, rose petals any other month, a bit pricey. Come Jan and February, they're at the dollar store!

Re:Stunts? (5, Funny)

llvllatrix (839969) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063084)

I hate singles awareness day as well :(

Note to /. readers... (3, Insightful)

jhfry (829244) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062514)

real women like flowers, chocolate, and other mushy stuff. Though a well thought-out stunt may work on a rare occasion, they are much more likely to backfire than a traditional gift. Have flowers and chocolate on hand just in case.

Re:Note to /. readers... (1)

Tau Neutrino (76206) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062668)

Real women? Perhaps most women like that sort of thing, but that doesn't make them any more real. There are plenty of individual women who have other tastes. And I'll guess there are many readers of Slashdot who are interested in such women.

Re:Note to /. readers... (0)

jhfry (829244) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062862)

I meant "real" as in human women, as opposed to the cliche' mothers-basement-dwelling slashdot reader's imaginary relationship with an half-elven mage princess.

And I don't doubt that there are women out there who don't care for flowers and/or chocolate... however I am confident that there are far more women who would be upset about a "stunt" that didn't quite go as expected.

Always works for me... (5, Funny)

grub (11606) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062518)


Chloroform soaked rags always get me the ladies.

Re:Always works for me... (2, Funny)

mujadaddy (1238164) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062638)

I like your non-anonymous moxie, there, guy.

Re:Always works for me... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31063046)

I'm not your guy, buddy!

Re:Always works for me... (2, Funny)

elysiana (1152995) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063030)

It makes for a great pickup line!
"Excuse me, miss, does this smell like chloroform to you?"

Works on me every time, anyway.

Surprise. (3, Insightful)

CannonballHead (842625) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062526)

I have noticed that my wife tends to really like surprises. It doesn't REALLY matter if I am super-romantic or something... but just surprising her with an outing that's just for her. It's romantic on a deeper level than throwing candy hearts at her.

Re:Surprise. (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062582)

I have noticed that my wife tends to really like surprises.

Like jumping out of the closet with a mask made of beef jerky and a butchers knife with a pigs heart stuck on the end? You could write 'I HEART U' with some of the pig blood drippings for that extra pizazz. That would be pretty surprising.

(See, it's the pigs heart that ties it all together.)

Re:Surprise. (1)

mujadaddy (1238164) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062664)

Girl Scout Cookies.

That is all.

Re-enacting the martyrdom of St. Valentine (3, Funny)

wiredog (43288) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062530)

Now we just have to determine which method he was martyred by.

Re:Re-enacting the martyrdom of St. Valentine (1)

Anne_Nonymous (313852) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062826)

He was beat to death by his girlfriend after he put her VW Bug on top of Building 10 as a "stunt".

Re:Re-enacting the martyrdom of St. Valentine (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062910)

Death by snoo-snoo!

(obviously)

Press Z or R Twice (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062546)

DO A BARREL ROLL!!!

shave her pussy (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062578)

she get mad when she wakes up but it's for her own good.

Linus Torvalds' romantic story (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062600)

Linus and his wife Tove, who is a six-time Finnish national karate champion, met back in 1993 when Linus was teaching a course. He asked the students to send him an e-mail as a test and Tove sent him an e-mail asking for a date (and threatening to break his geeky body worse than his boot loader, should he refuse). And people wonder why Linus has an aversion to mobile phones! Sorry, this was supposed to be a romantic story... Umm, Linus fell... in love with Tove's roundhouse kick.

Fake holiday. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062622)

I'm sorry, but Valentine's Day is the absolute worst of the fake holidays. I refuse to participate in it in any way; if a woman is so shallow that this offends her then fuck her.

Re:Fake holiday. (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062658)

...if a woman is so shallow that this offends her then fuck her.

Waitaminnit, isn't that the whole point?

Re:Fake holiday. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062976)

No, that's just the end game. The point is for the schmuck to blow a bunch of money on overpriced junk. If you want to buy some nice stuff for her and make her day, that's fine. But if you do it because it's Valentine's Day then you are a complete tool and I hope you get run over by a truck.

Wait a minute (5, Insightful)

SnarfQuest (469614) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062636)

Why are you tormenting us poor slashdot readers? You know we don't have significant others!

Sedate? (2, Funny)

ignavusinfo (883331) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062656)

Sedate? IANAL, but that's just got to be asking for trouble, at least north of the M-D line.

get her a nexus one (1)

martas (1439879) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062678)

it's now an officially Linus-endorsed product. any geeky girl should be impressed. and if she isn't, have her banned from /..

(p.s.: here's another question for randall: when you write /. at the end of the sentence, should there be one "." or 2?)

They Mentioned treasure hunt on the list (5, Interesting)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062686)

And I pulled off one of those a while ago. Actually its been like 2 years. Anyways. Yeah - its pretty easy to do, once you know your girl well enough to get her to play along - and a car definately helps. The idea is simple, place letters along a path, each one giving clues to the next one. Given todays technology, just about everyone has a web enabled phone, which lets you take things a bit further than just a hunt. I had converted the clues into binary... ascii values... Hex... knowing not to do anything complex like public key encryption, lol, but she can recognize what is what and can look it up if she needs help. She eventually made her way down the street to my car, the previous letter informed her to look under the trunk, where an envelope with a spare car key was taped up. She opened the car to find a subjective question of who would win in a fight, 2 raptors or a t-rex - in a very crowded jungle. (We'll leave that open to debate). One envelope said Raptors, and the other said T-rex. It didn't really have any bearing on the actual hunt, but it kind of goes along with this inside joke that we have. We personally think that -EVERYONE- secretly still loves dinosaurs, just when they get older they are too afraid to admit it. Anyways, so it leads her into this park where I'm sitting there, reading my book, with a nice picnic set up. We both agreed earlier that week that Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwhiches are totally still delicious, it seems odd that you stop eating them completely as soon as you are out of junior high. So we had a picnic with sandwhiches.

Needless to say, she really enjoyed it. However, she told all of her friends, and her friends got jealous and razzed their boyfriends, and they all gave me guff the next time they saw me, saying it made them look bad.

Re:They Mentioned treasure hunt on the list (1)

steelfood (895457) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062970)

I think she appreciated the thought and effort into you put into it more than the actual treasure hunt. And I'm sure the novelty of it helps a lot. I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't work so well a second time (reuse of an old idea isn't nearly as thoughtful as coming up with something new).

Video Game Proposal (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062688)

It's not necessarily a Valentine's day thing, but one guy hacked Chrono Trigger in order to propose marriage: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_HMLvLB7b0 [youtube.com]

While talking to her is probably the best stunt (1)

WillAffleckUW (858324) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062712)

While talking to her, instead of just wishing you could talk to her, is probably the best stunt, you might consider that women frequently like displays of peer group mastery.

If she's into Soduku, make her a VD Day soduku card.

If she likes chocolate, get her an interesting chocolate (e.g. Theo's Chocolate has spicy curry, for example) and wrap it up in Doctor Who tape.

Show you actually know what she's into and you're doing well. ...

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go hope that cute bio stats doctoral candidate runs into me while I'm enroute to something.

Re:While talking to her is probably the best stunt (2, Funny)

schon (31600) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062988)

If she's into Soduku, make her a VD Day soduku card.

Or better yet, buy some condoms, so you can keep it as regular "V-Day".

Unfortunately (1)

Propaganda13 (312548) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062714)

You have to do a little something for Valentine's Day even if she says otherwise. Keep this in mind though, giving her flowers on any other day for no reason will make her feel a lot more special than on V Day. Set a reminder in your calendar on a random day and do this.

Re:Unfortunately (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062824)

And of course, today's QOTD:

A man without a woman is like a statue without pigeons.

Re:Unfortunately (1)

jimicus (737525) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063062)

A man without a woman is like a statue without pigeons.

Do you mean "He doesn't wind up with shit all over him"? You go out with some weird women.

I think I did OK for my geek girl (2, Interesting)

slaker (53818) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062732)

I sent my geek girl a box of comic books, calligraphy and knitting supplies and a Supergirl camisole. Later in the week I'll gift her with Dragon Age Origins and Batman: Arkham Asylum through Steam, since I know she wants those games.

She lives a thousand miles away so we don't get to see each other very often, but I know she'll at least be happy with her box of geek goodies.

Easy (5, Funny)

tool462 (677306) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062750)

I cut off my ear and shipped it in a shoebox to a girl I like.

Haven't heard back from her yet.

Re:Easy (5, Funny)

thewiz (24994) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062906)

Haven't heard back from her yet.

[American Sign Language]That's because you cut your ear off![/American Sign Language]

Re:Easy (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062924)

The sound of her voice isn’t being teleported back to you? Maybe you got the quantum superpositioning wrong.

Re:Easy (1)

Patik (584959) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062948)

I don't expect you'll hear much of anything.

Re:Easy (5, Funny)

blueturffan (867705) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063008)

Maybe she already had one -- or it could have been the wrong size. You never know with women.

Re:Easy (1)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063022)

you should have kept the ear and sent her that starry night painting you did, or the one with the twelve sunflowers

Dumbest Valentine ads (1)

Kral_Blbec (1201285) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062788)

I dont have any stories to share about V-Day, but recently I was looking at Western Digital website to download a diagnostic utility for my hard drive. I noticed on the bottom of the page a V-Day ad saying how romantic an external hard drive would be for your girlfriend. There has to be a pun in there somewhere, but I can't find it...

Re:Dumbest Valentine ads (2, Funny)

diskofish (1037768) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063080)

Hey baby are you ready? I am going to transfer my hot files in to your USB port. Just open up that port and let me slide my hard drive in.

Easy (1)

burris (122191) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062794)

Just be two of: tall, good-looking, rich, talented-musician/artist

Re:Easy (1, Informative)

E. Edward Grey (815075) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062916)

talented-musician/artist

Girls don't like poor guys.

Re:Easy (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31063040)

talented-musician/artist

Girls don't like poor guys.

You must know different girls - I've run across more than one who were dating an ugly, short, poor, *unfaithful* DRUMMER who only needed the "musician" part, nevermind the "talented".

finger (3, Interesting)

mi (197448) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062850)

Boy, this takes me back to the past of the Internet without firewalls and Unix servers running with the regular services, including, finger [wikipedia.org] , enabled. We were at different Universities and often talked using talk [wikipedia.org] ...

But she was not online as much as myself, so I had to know, when to start the talk... The solution is obvious: execute finger every minute. If "on since" is detected in the output, write out a log-entry to a file. A separate instance of xbiff [wikipedia.org] was running to alert me, when that file was modified.

Nowadays various instant-messaging clients do this all for you, and even on Slashdot I have to provide Wikipedia links to describe things I'm talking about...

Re:finger (5, Funny)

someguysomewhere (610384) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062998)

So you fingered her till she talked to you? Isnt it supposed to be the other way around? Oh i get it you must live in soviet russia.

Romantic spontaneously... (1)

realsilly (186931) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062868)

If more men would just be a bit more romantic spontaneously through out the year, there wouldn't be a need by industires to guilt men (and some women) into doing something special on Valentines Day and Sweetest Day.

Besides, if you are only romantic on Valentines Day, do you really have a need to complain?

Re:Romantic spontaneously... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31063010)

My brother makes me laugh, though. He's one of these "oh, you don't need a special day for that" types. But as a result he acts overtly romantic 1 day per year less than I do (i.e. never). I wonder how many of the Slashdotters who've said this actually are romantic 24/7, and how many are just *so* lazy they can't even be bothered on Valentines day.

BTW, WTF is "Sweetest Day"? Is that the new Love Day?

Re:Romantic spontaneously... (1)

clone53421 (1310749) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063072)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetest_Day [wikipedia.org]

Although that says it’s observed in the midwestern states, I’ve lived in Missouri my entire life and I’ve never heard of it. Perhaps I’m too far south.

I'm Traditional (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062870)

I go for the machine [wikipedia.org] and shot [mysterynet.com] gunning into marmalade of my opposition.

no geeky girls please! (3, Insightful)

xynopsis (224788) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062874)

I shudder to think of capturing the interest of geeky girls! No more geeky girls for me. When they like you, they tend to like you in a crazy manner! I had the experience of one trying to get my attention in every way. She would always try to understand the software projects that I am working on and even google the terminologies that I put in my blog. This is funny, but she asked me out lots of times, I tried to say no but is really persistent. She once caught me having dinner with friends in restaurant and in a very planned manner, went straight to our table talked to a couple of my friends behind my back and then went to me. She tends to approach love and relationships in a very calculated manner. I am already like that and NO I am not going to spend my life with a person who is just like me (why can't I attract the real girls)? :/

Romance isn't dead! (0)

jockeys (753885) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062896)

Fellahs, this is the perfect time to show your lady you love her by giving her the best present she'll ever have:

Your cock.

Suggested ways to present your cock to her:
1. Wrapped in ribbons! Nothing says festive like pink ribbons on your pink monster. Bonus points for complicated bondage knots.
2. Under a codpiece! Feeling medeival? Why not proffer your pork to her the olde-fashioned way?
3. Covered in chocolate! Chicks dig chocolate, so why not give her a truly delectable dong? Warning: don't melt chocolate onto your cock, use chocolate sauce.
4. With a flower taped to it! Want her to feel really special? 'Cause nothing says special like a rose-laden trouser-snake.
5. Emblazoned with love poetry! Have a literary geek to impress? Put some Shakespeare on your schlong.


Disclaimer: actual use of any or all of the above methods may result in death or serious injury via penile kicking.

The Romantic Bath (1)

RabidMoose (746680) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062942)

Pulled this off awhile back, not on valentines, but it worked very well...

First, I setup a "girl's day out" for my wife and her cousin. Called wife's cousin, asked her to take my wife out shopping/getting a pedicure/etc. I needed wife out of the house for a couple hours for setup.

While she was out, I went over to my parent's house, since they drink lots of bottled water, and recycle the bottles. I knew they'd have pleanty of empty bottles on hand. Also went to the store, got a dozen tulips (or maybe roses, can't remember), a nice quality bubble bath, some of those glass "pebbles" for fish bowls, some ribbon, and a pack of tea candles.

Knowing my wife likes to take relaxing baths, but she almost never treats herself to one, I setup a nice bath for her to come home to. Used the pebbles + water to fill the water bottles (after removing the labels and putting a nice piece of ribbon around the screw threads, sealing with hot glue), and get them bouyant with a flower in each bottle.
Made a nice playlist of some of her favorite relaxing music, loaded it on an mp3 player, and set that up through a battery-powered speaker. Tied back the shower curtain with some leftover ribbon, spread the tea candles around the tub, and through the rest of the bathroom. Filled tub, got it nice and bubbly, and set the floaty flower-bottles around in the water (it took a few minutes to settle after it got done filling).
Finally, lit candles, turned out lights in the bathroom, and set the book she was reading on top of a hand towel.

I think she was in that bath for about 2 hours. I could do no wrong for months afterwords.

Find a Nook or Die (0)

tjstork (137384) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062958)

My wife wants a Nook super-bad. I have to find one. Somewhere. She puts up with my creeking ancient conservative pain in the rear self and deserves [mushy love stuff]. So I'm going to get her a Nook... or she will kill me!

Something that involves work, thought and surprise (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31062964)

Whenever my wife's been out of the house I've been ripping her CD collection and putting it on a portable media player, along with a Star Trek video and soon some of her favorite photos.

Skydiving (1)

mseidl (828824) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062968)

I took my gf skydiving last Saturday for V-day. She had a blast. But, ymmv. Make sure she's up for it.

Not sure if this counts as a "stunt" (1)

DrBuzzo (913503) | more than 4 years ago | (#31062982)

Find a bunch of rival gangsters and send guys dressed as police officers to arrest them. Since they have bought out the Chicago Police, they'll go along with it and think that they'll get a slap on the wrist, but then when the fake police officers line them up against a wall, they can spray them with a Thompson submachine gun. Then check them and if one or two look like they might actually be alive, finish them off with a machine gun. Historically, this "stunt" has proven pretty effective.

NinjaGram (5, Funny)

lula-vampiro (1322203) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063016)

I wanted to find a nice middle ground between lovers who like to send affection to one another on Valentine's Day and cynics who just want to dress in black and stab bitches, so a few years ago I started a charity at Swarthmore College called NinjaGram. It's pretty simple. You pay us $3, which goes to some charity or other, and fill out a card with a cute logo, and then shadowy assassins stalk your target on 14 February and surprise them with the card when they least expect it, screaming "NIIIIINJAGRAM!" Classes and events get interrupted a lot on Valentine's Day, but the administrators and faculty and public safety officers buy and receive as many as the students do, and besides who wants to argue with ninjas? This Valentine's Day, black is the new pink.

Prime time for single guys (1)

diskofish (1037768) | more than 4 years ago | (#31063028)

The couple of weeks before Valentines day is the easiest time of the year to meet women. Most single women WANT to be with someone on Valentine's day, so they'll be less "picky" than usual. Just go out to a bar looking well groomed and clean, and girls will be approaching you. Of course, you'll have better luck if you actually approach them rather then waiting for them to come to you.
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