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Screwing Food Into Your Mouth

samzenpus posted more than 4 years ago | from the making-your-life-too-easy dept.

Idle 33

Why lift your own food like a sucker?

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33 comments

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seems legit. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31319324)

screw-based food-bong.

Re:seems legit. (1)

armareum (925270) | more than 4 years ago | (#31407486)

The news here is that milk is sold in metric litres. WTF?

Re:seems legit. (1)

GNUALMAFUERTE (697061) | more than 4 years ago | (#31476052)

Wait, you mean there's another unit to measure liquids besides the Liter, or maybe cubic centimeters?

I heard in some very primitive places that are very religious and hate science, it's still used, namely, some small villages in Malaysia and the united states.

Lame advertisement for cow pus (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31321018)

Yes, if you don't want to need a food lift, you should drink liquids cows secrete to make their young gain several hundred pounds a year! (AKA: Milk)

Re:Lame advertisement for cow pus (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31322702)

Which is then skimmed (some or all fat removed), homogenized (large fat molecules broken down to simpler ones) and pasteurized (bacteria brutally raped and murdered.)

Seriously, give it a rest you anti-milkite bastard.

Re:Lame advertisement for cow pus (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31324014)

Unless you drink it whole, raw and fresh, the way God intended!

Re:Lame advertisement for cow pus (2, Informative)

Joce640k (829181) | more than 4 years ago | (#31366862)

God intended you to drink from a human female breast.

Re:Lame advertisement for cow pus (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31367716)

You think anyone here has access to one of those?

Re:Lame advertisement for cow pus (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31472880)

It doesn't have to be female... [warpmymind.com]

Re:Lame advertisement for cow pus (1)

GNUALMAFUERTE (697061) | more than 4 years ago | (#31476066)

Must not click on link. Must not click on link. Must not click on link. Must not click on link.

(Manboobs are scary)

Re:Lame advertisement for cow pus (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31370650)

God intended you to drink from a human female breast.

I've a bug request that the big man needs to look at then:

Last time that I tried that, I got a slap on my face and a boot to the ass from the bouncer at my local watering hole.

Re:Lame advertisement for cow pus (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31456340)

God intended you to drink from a human female breast.

If you're old enough to post on /., your old enough to be weaned from your mommy.

Re:Lame advertisement for cow pus (1)

iamhassi (659463) | more than 4 years ago | (#31352198)

actually this is a viral marketing scheme paid for by the BC Dairy Foundation [theweakshop.com] . Notice the copyright at the bottom. Every product they "sell" has to do with being weak and they offer milk to alleviate the symptoms.

Re:Lame advertisement for cow pus (1)

cosm (1072588) | more than 4 years ago | (#31354980)

Hilarious none-the-less. I want their Support Hat [theweakshop.com] . It would help some of my longer days pounding keys for the man.

Re:Lame advertisement for cow pus (1)

newdsfornerds (899401) | more than 4 years ago | (#31458256)

Real men drink goat milk.

A $2000 value! (1)

Excelcior (1390167) | more than 4 years ago | (#31325674)

That is the most awesome thing from the 'tube I've seen in ages.

ridiculous, but useful (1)

Vesvvi (1501135) | more than 3 years ago | (#31332720)

With just a few modifications, that would be perfect for feeding my cat.

She tends to eat so rapidly that she makes herself sick, but the Food Lift could drop the food a little at a time into a bowl over the course of a few hours.

If it weren't $100 CAD, I'd have ordered one already.

I own two. (3, Funny)

dadelbunts (1727498) | more than 3 years ago | (#31336184)

One feeds me and one is on reverse shoved in my ass. I never have to eat or crap ever again. I AM THE PERFECT BEING!!!

Re:I own two. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31461034)

One feeds me and one is on reverse shoved in my ass. I never have to eat or crap ever again. I AM THE PERFECT BEING!!!

no, you need one in each nostril other wise your air intake can't be controled and purified

New "twist" on an old parental trick? (1)

macraig (621737) | more than 4 years ago | (#31350768)

Did anyone else have parents who used a dinner table argument that sounded like a sales pitch for this device?

"But Ma, I don't LIKE it! It tastes awful!"

"Well then, Timmy, just take a bite of that and a bite of that chocolate pudding at the same time, and you won't notice. It'll all be the same once it reaches your tummy!"

This thing cuts out the middleman of multiple spoonfuls, eh? What's next, pre-digesting the food with enzymes inside the thing and just inserting a hose down your throat?

Re:New "twist" on an old parental trick? (1)

dark_requiem (806308) | more than 4 years ago | (#31475966)

What's next, pre-digesting the food with enzymes inside the thing and just inserting a hose down your throat?

You, sir, are a GENIUS! Where do I preorder?

Is this for real? (1)

keeboo (724305) | more than 4 years ago | (#31355074)

The advertised site [theweakshop.com] exists indeed. Apparently, it is some sort of humorous product that only north americans understand.
Still, for $99 CAD, it feels rather expensive for such purpose.

Hey! (1)

woolio (927141) | more than 4 years ago | (#31394558)

Hey, don't assume that all North Americans get it! (We're not all that weird)

This is clearly a Canadian form of "humour"...

Re:Hey! (1)

danlock4 (1026420) | more than 4 years ago | (#31448178)

They're located in Vancouver, BC... I wonder if the Olympics caused a huge sales increase? Some of The Weak Shop's items might have made it easier on the fans. For example, the Wallet Walker sold by that shop could have been used as a cowbell walker, and the attached lipstick holder could be used to carry a lip moisturizer.

Archimedes would be so proud (1)

necro81 (917438) | more than 4 years ago | (#31370180)

Archimedes, for whom the screw-lift [wikipedia.org] is named, would be so proud to know what use his invention is being put to.

Whew... (1)

tunafreedolphin (1033472) | more than 4 years ago | (#31370626)

By the title I was not sure if this was going to be 'safe for work' viewing.

please... (1)

bmecoli (963615) | more than 4 years ago | (#31374690)

I screw food into my girlfriend's mouth all the time...

Oh who am I kidding... I have no girlfriend


;_;

Sucking the stick (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31379564)

This could actually be a good invention, if they added a grinder which chewed the food for you and then fed it through a flexible rubber pipe in intervals. Now *that* would be worth $2000!

Cleaning? (1)

Lord Lode (1290856) | more than 4 years ago | (#31389714)

But how much work is it going to be go get this thing clean after usage?!

Re:Cleaning? (1)

ejecta (1167015) | more than 4 years ago | (#31396030)

Cleaning is for suckers, just pour in some draino. It solves two problems at once: a) the food lift is clean, b) you won't be wasting anymore money on stupid products. ;)

This is all I have to say (1)

incripshin (580256) | more than 4 years ago | (#31402754)

Re:This is all I have to say (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31411876)

Problem is nobody cares about what you say dude...

I could use this in a sermon! (1)

asher09 (1684758) | more than 4 years ago | (#31482342)

"A lazy man buries his hand in the bowl, And will not so much as bring it to his mouth again. " Proverbs 19:24
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