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New Phone Allows Bosses To Snoop On Staff

samzenpus posted more than 4 years ago | from the we-need-to-talk-about-your-tps-reports dept.

Cellphones 143

tad001 writes "The Japanese phone giant KDDI has developed a way to track users' movements in fine detail. It works by analyzing the movement of accelerometers, found in many handsets. Activities such as walking, climbing stairs, or even cleaning can be identified, the researchers say. The company plans to sell the service to clients such as managers, foremen, and employment agencies."

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143 comments

It works (4, Funny)

MyLongNickName (822545) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434728)

My boss just came into my office and told me to get the hell off of Slashdot and get back to work!

Re:It works (1)

MyLongNickName (822545) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434744)

Oh yea? My boss just busted into the bathroom stall and told me to stop wanking!

Re:It works (2, Funny)

Z00L00K (682162) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434812)

That's a severe invasion of privacy - have you discussed it with your union representative?

It's baffling how much control that some people seems to want to have over their peers.

Re:It works (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31435040)

Cant do it. I am fired before entering union office to join.

Re:It works (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31435070)

Over their pee, you mean?

Re:It works (5, Funny)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435426)

Damn straight! You will pry my cock from my cold, dead hands!

Re:It works (2, Funny)

ArsenneLupin (766289) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435568)

Damn straight! You will pry my cock from my cold, dead hands!

Don't worry. What is a straight going to do with somebody else's cock?

Re:It works (2, Funny)

tftp (111690) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435612)

What is a straight going to do with somebody else's cock?

There is an obvious, logical answer to that, but of course a Slashdot geek male would never figure it out :-)

Re:It works (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31436056)

Ahh yes the ever popular awkward statement of ones own sexuality towards a statement not directed to them. Good times, good times....

-MDF

Re:It works (3, Funny)

TheVelvetFlamebait (986083) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434838)

What? How can it do that? Unless wanking creates extreme readings on the accelerometer, I don't see how...

... oh wait, I get it. That doesn't so much make you a wanker, as it does a technophile.

Re:It works (1)

davester666 (731373) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434868)

Have you not seen some of the attachments/holders you can get for iPhones? You're either wanking or you've thrown the phone into a can in a paint-can-shaking machine...

Re:It works (1)

pipatron (966506) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434914)

That reply might have been more funny if you had remembered to tick the "[ ] Post Anonymously" box.

Replying to your own joke just makes you look like a pathetic looney, sorry.

Re:It works (1)

mandelbr0t (1015855) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434922)

That's not even funny!

Re:It works (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31435150)

That's not even funny!

Then it's just like every fucking joke that ever gets posted here on Slashdot but somehow gets modded +5 Funny.

Re:It works (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31434758)

I thought this required a series of repetitive motions to work...

You know what - never mind.

Re:It works (2, Interesting)

Brian Gordon (987471) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434762)

Next will probably be an application that records audio from the cell phone microphone and tells what you're typing from the sound of the keys. Or even what you're seeing on the screen [mit.edu].

Re:It works (2, Funny)

sjames (1099) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435478)

If they turn on the microphone, you've got them. Then, when you're sure they're listening, have a conversation all about the horrific and eventually fatal torture you'd inflict on the managers if you ever got fired or found out they were spying on you. Just act out your own part and the voice of some horrified other person.

Then, they're stuck.

Re:It works (2, Insightful)

BrokenHalo (565198) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435698)

Next will probably be an application that records audio from the cell phone microphone...

I guess that would be doable pretty easily with current technology. It's called a bug. Supposedly not legal without a warrant and all that.

I have been offered company phones at several jobs, and I always turn them down. I would rather pay for my own phone, and retain control over when (or if) I answer it. I have friends who have been carpeted by the boss for not answering their phones when they were in the loo. I would rather be able to tell them to get fucked if I were put in that position.

Well, maybe I wouldn't be so unprofessional as to tell them to get fucked. They could go get professionally fucked...

Re:It works (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31434884)

But my code's compiling! http://xkcd.com/303/ [xkcd.com]

Re:It works (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435438)

My code has been compiling for the last two hours. Over and over and over, just to make sure it REALLY works and compiles fine!

Hey, if other people may repeat the same actions over and over on their computer, hoping that something magically works the second time after it failed to work the first time, so may I!

Re:It works (2, Informative)

BrokenHalo (565198) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435716)

My code has been compiling for the last two hours.

Back in the day when I first got into programming, it was not uncommon for compiles to run for 10 hours or more. I sometimes used to take a sleeping-bag into the machine-room with me. If the compile bailed, I would be woken up by the clatter of the core dump being output to a 1600 line/min barrel printer.

If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (1)

yuri benjamin (222127) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434734)

I would have it turned off most of the time.

Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (2, Funny)

cbiltcliffe (186293) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434768)

I'd do shit like holding it, and moving it back and forth while climbing the stairs. Then they'd be wondering "Why the hell is this guy always vacuuming the stairs?"

Either that, or I'd be constantly shaking it, and doing weird shit with it, just to screw up their tracking....

Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (4, Funny)

Barny (103770) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434858)

Think of 2 stepper motors hooked up with USB and a small gyroscope cradle for the phone. Lego mindstorms should have something that will fit the bill.

"Sir, employee 3392 is doing barrel rolls again!"

Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (4, Funny)

sjames (1099) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435338)

Attach to a drill and give it a spin. Tell them you had a bit of trouble on your way in to work. Let them rack their brains figuring out what happened.

Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (5, Funny)

clarkkent09 (1104833) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435702)

Attach it to a long string and throw it out of the window of a very tall building sometimes. After you got them curious, leave a spiderman costume on the floor of your cubicle and when your boss walks by quickly kick it under the desk.

Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (3, Insightful)

danielsfca2 (696792) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435862)

With a name like "clarkkent09" i'm surprised you didn't at least pick a DC superhero to use for that joke, but it was hilarious nonetheless. Too bad I don't have mod points.

I wonder... (2, Funny)

BrokenHalo (565198) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435750)

I wonder how robust those accelerometers are. It occurs to me that it might be possible to permanently screw it up by bribing a construction worker to duct-tape your phone to his jack-hammer for a day...

Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31435134)

Nope, if your moving it back and forth your boss would think your always wanking

Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (1)

chewthreetimes (1740020) | more than 4 years ago | (#31436040)

Yeah, for the first couple weeks anyway. After that you'd settle into a trackable pattern.

Re:If I suspected my boss issued such a phone (1)

flyingfsck (986395) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435682)

Just leave it at your desk plugged into a charger 24/7 and use another phone.

Wow, a perfect match! (4, Interesting)

Statecraftsman (718862) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434740)

While this sounds like a great idea, it's going to be quietly retired after someone manages to match up the boss's "cleaning" activities with those of anyone else in the company.

"Wow, look how perfectly these accelerations overlay!"

Re:Wow, a perfect match! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31434876)

but... this doesn't sound like a great idea.

Re:Wow, a perfect match! (4, Funny)

TheMidget (512188) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435052)

Actually happened in my company. Two people were working late, and hmmm, given that they were the only two left in the company at that time of the day, decided it was time to have a little bit of fun together.

They carefully locked the office door, just in case, and let the hot and steamy action begin... completely ignoring the security camera from the parking lot that happened to point directly at their office window!

Next time folks, not only lock the office door, but also close the blinds!

Re:Wow, a perfect match! (2, Insightful)

houghi (78078) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435830)

And learn where all the inside camera's are as well. However sometimes you might not know.

Unintended consequences (2, Interesting)

OnePumpChump (1560417) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434746)

Oh boy, so my boss can tell if I'm leaning or cleaning. I anticipate a spike in workplace injuries and stress related ailments and a general decline in the quality of the work of all manual laborers on whom this technology is used, unless and until managers learn how NOT to use it. Good thing so many states have at-will employment and so few such workers have unions or health insurance, or this could cost a FORTUNE when it hits the US.

Re:Unintended consequences (1)

physburn (1095481) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434810)

There was a thread just today on Augmented Reality, the same tech that allow a phone to add location data to what you see, is the same tech that allows other people to watch where you are, and what you doing. Or course its in the hands of the nice Apple guys, how would never stop a user controlling modification to his own phone, oh whoops.

---

Privacy verses Surveillence [feeddistiller.com] Feed @ Feed Distiller [feeddistiller.com]

It broke again. (4, Insightful)

Zaphod-AVA (471116) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434798)

The accelerometer clearly shows me working when this one fell too. I suppose you will have to assign me another one. Well, I'm a team player sir, you can just get me a cheap phone for work use since I seem to be so hard on them.

Re:It broke again. (2, Interesting)

zappepcs (820751) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434816)

And that is exactly what will happen. They are too easy to break, lose, steal, and then there is the forgot it at home, forgot to charge it, and myriad ways to defeat the system.

A second thought: Do companies actually still pay for cell phones? Is that a perk I should be asking for?

Re:It broke again. (2, Interesting)

Barny (103770) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434942)

If its part of your job, then usually they do.

For instance on-call workers typically need a particular phone to support their companies dispatch software. A lot of them just use i-Phones because, well, "there's an app for that".

Re:It broke again. (1)

0100010001010011 (652467) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435104)

I'm so glad when our company quit paying for ours. We were no longer 'on call'. If you couldn't reach us at our desk. SUCK IT.

response (3, Insightful)

commodoresloat (172735) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435396)

No, that's all right, we'll just deduct the replacement cost from your pay. That will help teach you to be more responsible with company property.

Re:response (1)

toQDuj (806112) | more than 4 years ago | (#31436296)

*nod* I am in a place which requires you to write a humble letter of apology if you lose or misplace your access card.

Dude... (4, Insightful)

LynnwoodRooster (966895) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434878)

I am SO swinging that phone from the rooftop... Let them figure that one out! Or tossing it across the road to a friend on the other side. Yes boss, as a matter of fact I can fly!

Re:Dude... (2, Interesting)

DigiShaman (671371) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434938)

Or you could just flush it. Think of all the turns and strange directions it will be reporting back. Just like the marketing dept...

Re:Dude... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31435092)

Yes boss, as a matter of fact I can fly!

... through the microwave.

Re:Dude... (1)

vjoel (945280) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435246)

I am SO swinging that phone from the rooftop... Let them figure that one out! Or tossing it across the road to a friend on the other side. Yes boss, as a matter of fact I can fly!

Centrifuge it, and tell your boss you'll finish that code module after you return from the space station.

Re:Dude... (2, Interesting)

oever (233119) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435268)

Apple might already be using the accelerometer and gps, and in the future thermometer and gas analyzer, to determine what services you are likely to buy and what happened to the device that might void warranty.

Re:Dude... (1)

Jedi Alec (258881) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435694)

Yes boss, as a matter of fact I can fly!

Make sure the GPS puts you inside a phone booth just prior for added entertainment. Bonus points for matching the timeframe with babies being rescued from burning buildings.

Now if only we still had phone booths...

Re:Dogs can fly too (2, Interesting)

dogugotw (635657) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435846)

A few years back, the Iditarod added GPS trackers to some of the top drivers sleds so their position and speed could be displayed to users who subscribed to the 'Iditarod Insider' service. One of the guys wasn't too happy about this and gave his tracker to one of the supply aircraft...Lookie... is now going 150 mph, in the wrong direction, at 3000' agl...awesome dog team!

Actually, the experiment went over really well with those who follow the race so this year everyone got a tracker. It's pretty cool to be able to see how everyone is doing in real time. The mushers don't have access to the data so they're still going cross country using old school technology (eyes and brain).

Pennsylvania school district (5, Funny)

wisnoskij (1206448) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434926)

The Pennsylvania school district announces that they plan to end their controversial laptop policy and give harmless cell phones to their students to make up for spying on them.

How about leaving it in a bag or on a bench (3, Insightful)

syousef (465911) | more than 4 years ago | (#31434992)

Track that you nosey idiots. Unless they're going to stipulate that all employees must WEAR their phones.

Re:How about leaving it in a bag or on a bench (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31435204)

syousef, you are slashdot.

congratulations.

Re:How about leaving it in a bag or on a bench (3, Insightful)

amRadioHed (463061) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435448)

If a company wants to track your every movement throughout the day, how hard is it to imagine they would also require you to wear the tracking device?

Re:How about leaving it in a bag or on a bench (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31435512)

Yeah, unless you need to actually use your phone for work related communication... -_-

There goes the neighbourhood (1)

lul_wat (1623489) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435032)

I'm working on something for exactly the same purpose as them .. now I don't know if to continue or scrap it.

I kinda wished I worked in a place with these. (1)

Kenja (541830) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435056)

But only so I could tape it to a weasel and let it lose in the air ducts.

Re:I kinda wished I worked in a place with these. (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435492)

Can't you at least use a skunk?

But do it just before going home, and make sure you call in sick the next day. Else you'll call in sick the day after.

Whatever (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31435068)

Bucking Shullfit.

This is a good thing (3, Insightful)

aussie_a (778472) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435084)

If my boss wants to buy this phone, great. They've just given me a big neon flashing sign warning me that they're a control freak. I can now either move to a different department or start looking for a new job.

I'd rather have obvious signs I can't miss that my boss likes to create a hostile work environment, rather than subtle signs I might miss at first. The more blatant they are, the better.

Cue commercial (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31435106)

Say you wanted scary, "big-brother" like powers to assist you with your micro-management.

There's an app for that.

Easy workaround (1)

VincenzoRomano (881055) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435122)

Leave the phone on the desk: you don't need it in the toilet.

Livestock (3, Insightful)

Beelzebud (1361137) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435136)

Hell if you're going to treat us like livestock, just go all out! How about microchips and ear tags! Maybe the company logo branded on your body.

If I had a boss that tried to make his workers use something like this, I'd quit my job.

Re:Livestock (1)

Mr. Freeman (933986) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435460)

Happened already. There was a company a year or two back that required employees get an RFID chip implanted in order to continue working there. Forgot the name of the company, but I found the story here on slashdot.

Re:Livestock (2, Insightful)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435482)

I'd wonder if they're still in business. People who are good at what they're doing tend to find jobs anywhere. People who're bad at what they're doing have to swallow whatever their boss subjects them to.

Guess which group keeps a company afloat and which one sinks it.

Hmmm (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31435168)

People-- they orchestrated the delivery of a vulnerable young male child of royal blood in my care to the [totally unreasonable] forcible detention in a foster-home run by people who are known to them as enablers-- pedophiles-- in the hopes of initiating him into their sick cult via sodomy and rape. He was systematically brutalized emotionally, made deliberately ill with a high fever for over 3 weeks while he was simultaneously starved and prevented from access to bathroom tissue with which tk blow his nose. He was not allowed to bring a book with him while his foster mother sat for hours at greasy spoons in meetings with her people. He was humiliated for refusing to wear pink, and forced to play away from his bedroom; ordered to play in a laundry room adjacent to a spare bedroom kept for the man of the house to nap in. He was deliberately seperated from his older sister to gain access. The house was chosen, I was told, by upper management at the Niagara Child &Family services! The foster parents began to abuse, sicken and starve him when it became immediately evident that he had received training on how to avoid sex predators. This is the same mentality at play in our school systems.

Sounds ideal for man-down and the like... (4, Insightful)

Gordonjcp (186804) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435320)

At the moment you can buy a horrifically expensive option board for some radios that does exactly this. That way you can tell if the HT that is supposed to be clipped to your security guard's belt as he walks around your bonded warehouse has suddenly gone horizontal. Another application is in shopping centres where it's pretty handy to be able to track where cleaners and security guards are - and have been in the past. Why? Nosiness? Spying? No.

Mouth-breathing Chav Scum: "ZOMG I SLIPPED AND FELL OVER ON THAT DROPPED ICE CREAM CONE THERE! THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN CLEARED UP STRAIGHT AWAY! I'M GONNA SUUUUUUUUEEE!!!"

You: "Well, let's see, the cleaner went past there three minutes ago, so it can't have been like that for long."

MBCS: "But... But... Butt..."

or alternatively:
You: "Right, who's doing the guard tour, oh it's Wee Wullie. That's funny, he's been standing at the same bit for a couple of minutes now, moving around quite a lot though. Wonder if everything's okay?"

<clicky on CCTV console>

You: "Aha, righty. Let's send Big Davie down to give him some 'assistance' there..."

Jailbreak it, sire. (2, Informative)

William Sullivan (1757974) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435386)

There's an app for that. I mean, seriously. It's called demagnetizing the accelerometer. This basically allows it to either remain at zero, or points within 0 indicating little to no movement. Sort of like your typical EA programmer.

Re:Jailbreak it, sire. (3, Insightful)

Mr. Freeman (933986) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435484)

Demagnetizing the accelerometer..... I'm not entirely sure you understand how these things work. Seriously, there's no magnets involved here.

Marketing fail (2, Insightful)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435466)

Seriously, who's the marketing genius and why isn't he fired yet?

Can't you forsee what's going to happen? Unions will be all over it, key employees will complain and go ballistic over it, threatening to quit if they're not let off the leash.

Solution: Market it to overprotective parents. Kids have neither unions nor can they quit their parents.

Re:Marketing fail (1)

MoeDumb (1108389) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435724)

"The company plans to sell the service to clients such as managers, foremen, and employment agencies."

Can governments be far behind?

Strap a ... (1)

giorgist (1208992) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435480)

1. Strap a vibrator onto the phone.
2. Hang it on a pendulum and use a blutooth to use it.
3. Leave it on a speaker
4. Use an iPhone that doesn't parrallel process.

There are two kinds of employees (4, Insightful)

SmallFurryCreature (593017) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435524)

Being a boss is easy, there are only two kind of employees. Lazy ones, who will slack of any chance they get and perform at best at a level just above firing, and good employees who take pride in their job.

It will cost a fortune to turn a lazy one into a good one. It will save you money to turn a good one into a lazy one, in the short term. It is easy, just keep cutting benefits, breaks, perks and up the work load while micro-managing them to hell.

But most managers/bosses feel they need to earn their keep by showing they are making the people work the hardest. If you spend the money of those kind of managers and their bag of tricks on salary, you would be able to hire the absolute best and have people fighting to stay with your company. Go ahead, offer a cleaner 50% above average wage. No problems filling vacancies, no need to watch their every move and you get motivated employees who got a reason not to exchange you the moment they a chance. Because even cleaning staff builds up a lot of knowledge you can't easily replace with the Xth temp because your turn-over rate is 100%.

By all means, you go tech to try to manage those who can only earn the lowest wages, I pay a bit more and get the cream. In the end, I know who is more efficient.

Why do you say I was not at work? (1)

houghi (78078) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435824)

Sure I was at work, just track the phone and you will see that I was at my desk all day.

And even more, I am sure TV shows like CSI will never be the same as people are proven to be at work all the time and thus could NEVER have been anywere else.

Joking aside: I understand why they would do it. People who are snooped upon and treadend to be fired will be more productive. I know because I asked this at work and fired thee first person who did not answer the question to my liking. Although he was the first person anwering the questions in the group, he was also the only one. The rest of the people agreed with me.

Management by terror: it is the only option!

Overly Paranoid, In My Experience (3, Insightful)

pandrijeczko (588093) | more than 4 years ago | (#31435994)

As a Brit working for an American company, all I can say is that all my boss cares about is that he has a pretty graph at the end of each week, month & quarter that shows me and his other guys are utilised as highly as possible and making money for the company.

He's a decent American bloke but constantly stressed out by the managers above him and I wouldn't do his job for all the tea in China (or coffee in Starbucks). Plus he doesn't have either the time or inclination to check up on me any more than he does currently (once a week at most).

If you do work for a company that has managers needing to do this level of granular "surveillance" of staff then it's time to get another job - because if they're going to those depths then they're probably going to get rid of you anyway....

Could there be positive applications? (4, Interesting)

Bearhouse (1034238) | more than 4 years ago | (#31436044)

OK, I guess we're all against the potentially creepy applications of this.
But could there be useful ones? Most people carry cell phones, could this be used to monitor people with known history of health problems, such as heart disease, or the elderly?
If my cell phone detected that I'd just had a stroke, or that one of my parents had just had a fall, and was unconscious at the bottom of a staircase, and informed the emergency services, then that would be the kind of intrusion that I could accept.

Re:Could there be positive applications? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31436164)

OK, I guess we're all against the potentially creepy applications of this.
But could there be useful ones? Most people carry cell phones, could this be used to monitor people with known history of health problems, such as heart disease, or the elderly?
If my cell phone detected that I'd just had a stroke, or that one of my parents had just had a fall, and was unconscious at the bottom of a staircase, and informed the emergency services, then that would be the kind of intrusion that I could accept.

Thanks. Please help for create new button on www.gsmtamir.net

Re:Could there be positive applications? (1)

RMH101 (636144) | more than 4 years ago | (#31436240)

I can think of a couple of good uses:

* Detect if suddenly dropped/gone horizontal and no further movement - e.g. a lone worker alarm, that flags if someone might have tripped or fainted etc
* Detect if a driver has been driving for over x hours and suggest they pull in for a break
* Track a security guard on his roudns so that if anything happens, they know where he is and where he's been - alternative to the manual punch-in waypoint stations they have in industrial settings
* Use for automatic clock in/clock out so you get paid the hours you work
* Locate someone in a building where everyone hotdesks
* Automatically pay someone's mileage expenses based on their journeys in office hours

there's a lot of scary uses, too, but it's not all bad.

Re:Could there be positive applications? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31436376)

But that comment assumes good faith on all parties involved! This is Slashdot, where you must be a petulant individualistic jerk.

Does it detect playing golf? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31436050)

Thought not - funny that.

Good for Cleaning contractors - not so good for IT (1)

ferrgle (945967) | more than 4 years ago | (#31436082)

I'm thinking that it would be hard to snoop on IT workers this way. Unless the phone is moving when it shouldn't.
This is ideal though for cleaning contractors who need to make sure their cleaners are cleaning and not just leaving the vacuum cleaner on.

Time To Contact The Patents Office... (4, Funny)

pandrijeczko (588093) | more than 4 years ago | (#31436272)

...to patent my new design for the "Feline Cellphone Backpack"!

Imagine this is your boss's office as he tracks you on his computer screen:

"Okay, so he's just gone out through his kitchen door... he's climbing the fence into his neighbour's garden... now he's squatting down in their rose bed???"

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