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145 comments

What a bastard (3, Funny)

Pojut (1027544) | about 4 years ago | (#31588908)

I always knew he was a slimey fuck.

Re:What a bastard (1)

snspdaarf (1314399) | about 4 years ago | (#31588938)

...that is fat.

Re:What a bastard (3, Funny)

Cryacin (657549) | about 4 years ago | (#31589176)

Must have given him some pretty bad gas, considering the amount of methane.

Re:What a bastard (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31589354)

This (my) post is the first, and only, serious post in this thread. I think we can all see where this is going.

Re:What a bastard (1)

Enigma23 (460910) | about 4 years ago | (#31588942)

Neptune clearly has hidden depths... ;p

Re:What a bastard (1)

dgatwood (11270) | about 4 years ago | (#31589334)

I'm just waiting for the inevitable joke about another gas giant that was renamed in 2620 to end those stupid jokes once and for all....

Re:What a bastard (3, Funny)

ooshna (1654125) | about 4 years ago | (#31589776)

My yes, also in 2015 Pluto was reclassified as a planet after the Texas school board voted to include it despite expert advice because "Without Pluto how would The Planet Song end? Neptune's really windy? Its unpatriotic!"

Of course! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31589000)

I always knew he was a slimey fuck.

Being the God of Water and the Sea, what did you expect? And being a Roman God, well, there you go.

Re:What a bastard (4, Funny)

nine-times (778537) | about 4 years ago | (#31589048)

You don't even want to know what went into Uranus.

Re:What a bastard (1)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | about 4 years ago | (#31589966)

If I say "Actually I do want to know" - does that make me concerned for my own health or a pervert for thinking about you?

Re:What a bastard (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31590046)

Ah yes, I shall miss the poor minor planet Goatseius.

Next (0, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31588944)

it might lick uranus.

Re:Next (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31589106)

My buddy had a prostitute lick his asshole while he was vacationing in Amsterdam.

He told me it felt so good that he wanted to shit.

Silly Goose (3, Informative)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | about 4 years ago | (#31588996)

Kronos is the one that eats babies, not Neptune!

Re:Silly Goose (2, Informative)

Pojut (1027544) | about 4 years ago | (#31589028)

Actually, that would be Saturn. [wikipedia.org]

Re:Silly Goose (1, Informative)

Pojut (1027544) | about 4 years ago | (#31589066)

Oh, and it's CRONUS, not Kronos...if you're into the whole greek thing :-)

Re:Silly Goose (2, Informative)

d34dluk3 (1659991) | about 4 years ago | (#31589292)

From http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cronus [wikipedia.org]: "Cronus or Kronos"

The article goes on to say that Saturn is the Romanic version of Kronos.

So yeah, the original post was perfectly fine. If you're going to be pedantic, at least be correct.

Re:Silly Goose (1)

Dorkmaster Flek (1013045) | about 4 years ago | (#31589306)

He may have been thinking of Chronos [wikipedia.org], the personification of time. Keep your Greek deities straight, people!

Re:Silly Goose (2, Funny)

eleuthero (812560) | about 4 years ago | (#31590088)

The problem is, that Cronus, Chronos, Kronus ... were all iterations of the same general being (much like we have Batman, Batman Forever, Batman (the series), Batman (the animated series) - we are all referring to the same general being and while the description and artwork (and possibly even pronunciation of Bruce Wayne's name) all change, this doesn't change. The same was true for all the myths...

Re:Silly Goose (1)

Mindcontrolled (1388007) | about 4 years ago | (#31589322)

If you are in the whole greek thing, it is . Can't see a "u" in there. "Cronus" is already a latinized transliteration... if you're into the whole greek thing ;)

Re:Silly Goose (1)

Mindcontrolled (1388007) | about 4 years ago | (#31589378)

And slashdot is eating my unicode. What year is this again? Anyway - the straight transliteration is Krónos. The -us ending is basically a latinization already, even if Saturnus is the Roman equivalent to Kronos. Haven't seen the "Cronus" thing up to today, which might be a locally different transliteration habit.

Re:Silly Goose (1)

K. S. Kyosuke (729550) | about 4 years ago | (#31589472)

Oh, and it's CRONUS, not Kronos...if you're into the whole greek thing :-)

That is rather strange, as there is no "C" letter in the Greek alphabet, don't you think?

Re:Silly Goose (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31591618)

Actually, there has been a "c" (aka "lunate sigma" in Greek since the Middle Ages. It's a variant of the lower case sigma usable in both the terminal and non-terminal positions, and is commonly used in modern printing for simplicity.

But there certainly has never been a "c" having the sound of kappa.

Re:Silly Goose (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31589696)

Oh, and it's CRONUS, not Kronos...if you're into the whole greek thing :-)

Please mod above comment: Anal

Re:Silly Goose (1)

angel'o'sphere (80593) | about 4 years ago | (#31590654)

Just because the "english" Wikipedia calls it Cronus it is long not right. It is Kronos, and if you insist to write it "more enlish" then it is still Cronos, and not Cronus ... the later would be latin and not greek.

angel'o'sphere

Re:Silly Goose (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31591226)

No, it's not, moron. My degree in ancient Greek tells you - it's Kronos.

Re:Silly Goose (3, Informative)

DrData99 (916924) | about 4 years ago | (#31589094)

Did you even read the article you linked to? "It depicts the Greek myth of the Titan Cronus (in the title Romanised to Saturn), who, fearing that his children would overthrow him, ate each one upon their birth."

Re:Silly Goose (0, Redundant)

Pojut (1027544) | about 4 years ago | (#31589152)

Did you even read the response I made to myself?

http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1592720&cid=31589028 [slashdot.org]

Re:Silly Goose (1)

DrData99 (916924) | about 4 years ago | (#31589382)

Well, not until I had already posted my initial response. Asynchronous communications can lead to things like this...

Re:Silly Goose (3, Funny)

nschubach (922175) | about 4 years ago | (#31589672)

Maybe we should ask Slashdot to lock the whole thread while someone posts a reply to avoid this in the future.

Nuclear? (1, Insightful)

EvilBudMan (588716) | about 4 years ago | (#31589002)

Maybe there is a Nuclear core with fission going on to explain the heat. In fact it is possible that this is happening at the very center of the earth's core. It's hard to say really what caused this. As anyone can guess, I guess.

Re:Nuclear? (1, Insightful)

ral8158 (947954) | about 4 years ago | (#31589078)

Um....... Not likely.

Re:Nuclear? (5, Informative)

oldspewey (1303305) | about 4 years ago | (#31589282)

If you're willing to classify radioisotope decay as a form of "fission," then not only is it likely, it's highly probable.

http://www.physlink.com/News/121103PotassiumCore.cfm [physlink.com]
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radioactive_decay [wikipedia.org]

Re:Nuclear? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31589630)

Dude, that's... awesome. A nuclear reactor right underneath our feet, keeping us alive through the magnetic field. I wonder if a long-lasting hot metal core is one of the prerequisites of life on our planet (and the absence of which is the reason for Mars' lack of life and atmosphere).

The things science learns, amazing!!

Re:Nuclear? (1)

CarpetShark (865376) | about 4 years ago | (#31589870)

Maybe there is a Nuclear...fission...happening at the very center of the earth's core. It's hard to say really what caused this. Anyone can guess.

Some sort of gypsy curse?

What's that smell? (1)

creimer (824291) | about 4 years ago | (#31589010)

Did it fart out Pluto by any chance? That would explain the orbit of Pluto if it smelled that bad.

Re:What's that smell? (4, Interesting)

Verteiron (224042) | about 4 years ago | (#31589492)

Nonsense, everyone knows Pluto was knocked out of its orbit around Neptune by the impact of an alien craft [wikipedia.org] traveling at extremely high velocity.

amphromoporthizing (1)

gEvil (beta) (945888) | about 4 years ago | (#31589014)

There is a theory now that it once ate a super-earth in the outer solar system, and kept its moon as some sort of macabre trophy to make sure that Mars and Venus didn't get any big ideas.

Theories that anthropomorphize planets? Doesn't sound very scientific to me.

Re:amphromoporthizing (1)

creimer (824291) | about 4 years ago | (#31589074)

Blame all those Saturday morning cartoon shows with anthopomorphize animals and machines.

Re:amphromoporthizing (1)

einhverfr (238914) | about 4 years ago | (#31589096)

Theories that anthropomorphize planets? Doesn't sound very scientific to me.

Yeah, well, "Neptune" is linguistically related to "nephew." Sounds like it was anthropomorphized long ago....

Re:amphromoporthizing (1, Informative)

Mindcontrolled (1388007) | about 4 years ago | (#31589440)

Sorry, I just switched into linguistic nitpicking mode. Nephew is not in any straight way derived from Neptune. The root is way deeper, especially from Proto-Indo-European *hnépts. Cognates include Sanskrit (nápt), Old Persian (nap), Ancient Greek (anepsios) and Old English nefa (see wiktionary for source).

Re:amphromoporthizing (1)

oldspewey (1303305) | about 4 years ago | (#31589128)

In defence of the researchers, they were trippin' pretty hard when they wrote that paper, and they still had the good judgment to edit out the chapter that was tentatively titled "the era when the whole fucking sun was like this really intense multicolored strobe light."

Re:amphromoporthizing (1)

smashin234 (555465) | about 4 years ago | (#31589570)

I concur, and the fact that they call a solid planet that "might" have been larger then Earth "Super Earth" says even more volumes about their science. But then again, maybe they just got some super creative genius to write up the press release.

All too common unfortunately. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31590392)

See almost any astronomy-related article or paper, which seldom fail to describe star formation and destruction as "birth" and "death".

This should be tagged Om-nom-nom. (5, Funny)

timepilot (116247) | about 4 years ago | (#31589056)

This story should be tagged om-nom-nom.

Re:This should be tagged Om-nom-nom. (4, Funny)

mooingyak (720677) | about 4 years ago | (#31589444)

I went with "badneptunenobiscuit"

Re:This should be tagged Om-nom-nom. (1)

amicusNYCL (1538833) | about 4 years ago | (#31589620)

That's real logical. So the next time I'm searching for articles tagged "badneptunenobiscuit", this will appear. Good to know.

Re:This should be tagged Om-nom-nom. (1)

Em Emalb (452530) | about 4 years ago | (#31589862)

Did all of slashdot wake up on the wrong side of the floor today? It's like everyone is throwing an angst party and I wasn't invited.

Bastards.

Re:This should be tagged Om-nom-nom. (1)

Spatial (1235392) | about 4 years ago | (#31591258)

Did all of slashdot wake up on the wrong side of the floor today?

If you mean the basement, then probably.

Can't resist... (4, Funny)

GPLDAN (732269) | about 4 years ago | (#31589100)

' Neptune May Have Eaten a Planet and Stolen Its Moon'

In this way, it is just like Rosie O'Donnell.

Re:Can't resist... (0, Redundant)

tommeke100 (755660) | about 4 years ago | (#31589572)

"it is hard to understand how Uranus and Neptune, the two outermost planets, managed to get so big"

Uranus is on it's side (1)

syousef (465911) | about 4 years ago | (#31589112)

I wonder if something like what's described regarding Uranus and Neptune swapping orbits could also play a role in Uranus being on it's side.

Re:Uranus is on it's side (0, Redundant)

gEvil (beta) (945888) | about 4 years ago | (#31589184)

I wonder if something like what's described regarding Uranus and Neptune swapping orbits could also play a role in Uranus being on it's side.

That whole thing sounds kinda kinky.

How many times do I have to tell you (3, Funny)

Locke2005 (849178) | about 4 years ago | (#31589150)

Don't anthropomorphize the planets... they hate it when you do that!

Re:How many times do I have to tell you (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31589892)

Just to split hairs planets can't be consumed because that would mean they are unable to clear their orbit. It would just be a dwarf planet and Uranus would still be a planet though because it performed the consuming. I only bring this up as I am still angry that they decided that Pluto was not a planet anymore. It should get special treatment before any of the other dwarf planets get any or it would not be fair for what they did to it.

Terrorism! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31590318)

This is clearly a case of planetary terrorism. NASA is now on red level and all astronauts will have to go through a full body scan and will not be allowed to carry more than 4oz of liquids onto any space craft. Drones will be sent to destroy any households spotted on Triton.

The Onion has a new layout... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31589234)

oh ... wait!

I knew it. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31589256)

That son of a bitch!

what has our solar system come to? (1)

jisou (1483699) | about 4 years ago | (#31589260)

first pluto faking being a planet now cannibalism!? our solar system is becoming more and more like a cheesy soap opera.

Copious amounts of maryjoowanna (4, Funny)

bynary (827120) | about 4 years ago | (#31589314)

This "news" article reads like the "pot circle" scenes from That 70's Show:

"Oooh, oooh, I know! First the planets form close to the sun!"

"No way! What if they then moved away from the sun and some of the planets ate the other planets!"

"You're blowin' my mind, man!"

"I could eat a planet right now. Anyone have a Mars bar?"

"Mars bar...Marssss bar...Marrrrrrrssssss bar...that's funny..."

wasted opportunity (1, Funny)

blair1q (305137) | about 4 years ago | (#31589632)

it's threads like these that make me wish i'd be less compulsive in disposing of my mod points...i had 15 bright, shiny ones yesterday, and wasted them all modding people UP...

Re:wasted opportunity (3, Insightful)

radtea (464814) | about 4 years ago | (#31589816)

Yeah, every day this place hits new lows. This is an interesting story on planetary formation and the complex unravelling of the history of the solar system using a mix of precise observation and computer modelling, and the comments are almost exclusively juvenile jokes and complaints that the proposed mechanisms sound stupid.

My question is: is there anywhere that is remotely like /. used to be (say a few months ago, even) when we still got the odd intelligent comment that added something useful to the story?

Re:wasted opportunity (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31590156)

I fart in your general direction.

Re:wasted opportunity (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31591586)

My question is: is there anywhere that is remotely like /. used to be (say a few months ago, even) when we still got the odd intelligent comment that added something useful to the story?

In Soviet Russia, slashdot is sick of you!

First Pluto and now this (2, Funny)

Wiarumas (919682) | about 4 years ago | (#31589770)

First Pluto and now this. Neptune is no longer a planet, but rather a cannibal and a thief.

Worlds In Collision (0, Troll)

lastrogue (1773302) | about 4 years ago | (#31589866)

This brings to mind Immanuel Velikovsky's book worlds in collision. I'm don't remember if this instance is in his book, but I've noticed that many scientists take credit for what was already hypothesized by Velikovsky.

Re:Worlds In Collision (5, Interesting)

spacemandave (1231398) | about 4 years ago | (#31590280)

Ugh. Every time one of these stories comes up, someone has to bring up Velikovsky. As someone who studies early solar system evolution, I've had the "pleasure" of talking with Velikovsky supporters on numerous occasions. What Velikovsky wrote about was wide-scale rearrangements of the architecture solar system WITHIN HISTORICAL TIMES, based on nutty interpretations of classical mythology. What the article here discusses is a hypothesis for the formation of Triton during an event called the Nice model that is thought to have happened about 3.9 billion years ago (based on dating of large lunar basins from Apollo samples). During this time, a much more massive precursor to the Kuiper belt fueled the migration of the outer four giant planets, disrupting stable reservoirs of small bodies throughout the solar system. Once the ancient Kuiper belt was depleted of mass, the migration stopped (so the "fuel" is gone, and therefore this process can only occur once in the lifetime of the solar system). Had planetary migration occurred within historical times, then we would currently be in the midst of a massive bombardment of comets and asteroids, and the Earth's oceans would currently reside in the atmosphere (along with perhaps some rock vapor clouds). The Nice model and Late Heavy Bombardment is backed up by observations of the structure of the Kuiper belt, observations of other solar systems around other stars, radioisotope dating of lunar rocks (in a variety of isotope systems, but most especially K-Ar, and U-Pb), observations of the structure of the asteroid belt, dynamical models based on plausible initial conditions for the early solar system (constrained by aforementioned observations), observations of zircon crystals found in ancient Earth rocks, cratering chronologies of the rocky planets, the Moon, and icy satellites. Basically it's a preponderance of evidence pointing toward plausible models for the early history of the solar system. Velikovsky has tortured interpretations of ancient literature. Who do you think is more likely to be closer to describing reality?

Some orbital dynamics (5, Interesting)

Michael Woodhams (112247) | about 4 years ago | (#31590208)

Some may wonder what need there is for a third body at all - Triton wanders too close to Neptune, it gets captured, right?

The reason is conservation of energy: as Triton wanders near Neptune, it falls into Neptune's gravity well and accelerates, so it is going too fast to remain in orbit. Triton at infinity has more energy than Triton in orbit, so to get captured it has to lose energy, and that energy has to go somewhere.

With a few exceptions, three body interactions (e.g. Neptune, Superearth, Triton) are chaotic, and often end with one of the bodies being expelled and the remaining two left in orbit. The lightest body is the most likely to be expelled. This scenario has Superearth being expelled rather than Triton, which is somewhat unlikely but not impossible. (It is too long since I studied this for me to quantify 'most likely to be expelled'.)

It really doesn't seem to me that you need Superearth to explain Triton. The third body could very easily have been a normal Neptunian moon, which is now unobserved somewhere in the Oort cloud or expelled from the solar system entirely. (Could it be Pluto? This was thought of and rejected [nasa.gov] a long time ago.)

Disclaimer: All these comments are on the basis of reading the New Scientist summary, not the real paper.

2012 (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31590450)

Fuck fuck we're all going to be eaten by Space Cthulhu.

Unicron (1)

leety (1762478) | about 4 years ago | (#31591164)

Reminds me of Unicron munching down on Cybertron in the first Transformers movie. Orson Wells was rad.
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