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First LHC Data Hint At New Particle

CmdrTaco posted more than 4 years ago | from the still-no-black-holes dept.

Science 124

Anonymous Dupeur writes "Only 12 hours after the start of operation of the Large Hardon Collider at an unprecedentedly high energy level, a discovery had been made. Today, in its press release, CERN disclosed the observation of a new class — paleoparticles. 'It's awful,' explains Alain Grand, still shocked by the discovery. 'It left horrible tracks inside the detector that made the physicists on duty at the time feel quite sick.' No wonder. The particle consists of two strange quarks and one top quark but no beauty or charm quark. The physicists have nicknamed it the 'neutrinosaurus.' This marks a first success of the — finally — started experiment."

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ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (4, Funny)

thomasdz (178114) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701218)

ahh yes, the "Devil Particle"
although wouldn't the existence of a Devil Particle prove the existence of the God Particle?

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701254)

They say the Devil Particle's greatest accomplishment was convincing Fermilab it didn't exist.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (2, Interesting)

tepples (727027) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701266)

According to Negentropism [wikidot.com] , the devil is entropy.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

sznupi (719324) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702216)

Rather the other way around?

(PS. Overall /me likes this one... ;) ...somehow too bad it's fiction; but otoh - which philosophy is or isn't?)

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (2, Funny)

characterZer0 (138196) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701276)

No, it would just prove that the God Particle existed at one point in time. It was there for the big bang, but then it turned into the Topeka Particle.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (3, Insightful)

physburn (1095481) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701296)

Funny April fool, but done, over at that scienfic blogging they had the LHC discovering the graviton. Paleo particles, dinosaur hadrons, thats funny. Not LOL but funny. I have to be Pedantic though, Top quarks don't live long enough to be bound to anything else.

---

LHC [feeddistiller.com] blogs articles at Feed Distiller [feeddistiller.com]

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

pclminion (145572) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701448)

Top quarks don't live long enough to be bound to anything else.

Quarks are ALWAYS bound to something else. A solitary quark has never been seen.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

OnlyJedi (709288) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702270)

From the wikipedia article for top quark [wikipedia.org] :

The only known way that a top quark can decay is through the weak interaction producing a W-boson and a down-type quark (down, strange, or bottom). Because of its enormous mass, the top quark is extremely short lived with a predicted lifetime of only 5×1025 s. As a result top quarks do not have time to form hadrons before they decay, as other quarks do. This provides physicists with the unique opportunity the study the behavior of a bare quark.

So for any of the other five quarks you'd be right, but not for the top quark. True, a top quark won't be bound lying about. But neither will it be found bound in any hadrons—that is, mesons (quark-antiquark pairs) and baryons (three quark triplets)—like the other five. The only way to get a top quark is to create one, and then it only exists (bare, by itself) for a very, very short time.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31702368)

Yes they have been.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (4, Funny)

mcgrew (92797) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701552)

I am a Top quark, you insen

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

box4831 (1126771) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701772)

apparantly top quarks bind quite readily to the Candlejack quark

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

theIsovist (1348209) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702342)

Sadly when I first read this, I figured 'neutrinosaurus' wasn't such a strange name for a quark. I mean, hell, strange is already one.

Speaking of the wonderfully named quarks. My physicist friend got married last year, and you can be sure, we brought up "if his wife was a quark, would she be a top quark or a bottom quark"? The man laughed at that joke, as only a supremely drunk physicist could.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31702506)

Probably better that his wife didn't find out that they are also known as truth or beauty quarks...

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (2, Funny)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701348)

"The greatest trick the devil particle ever played was convincing people that it didn't exist..."

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701848)

Proof denies faith, and without faith, God is nothing. If the Devil particle proves God exists, then by God's argument's, He doesn't.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

aristotle-dude (626586) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702018)

Proof denies faith, and without faith, God is nothing. If the Devil particle proves God exists, then by God's argument's, He doesn't.

That is circular logic where you assume that faith has any effect on god. It has an effect on man and how they perceive the world around them.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

sznupi (719324) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702032)

Proof obsoletes belief, and with it faith. If something proves anything about gods, then it's no longer palatable to the faithfull.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

maxwell demon (590494) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702196)

Proof denies faith, and without faith, God is nothing. If the Devil particle proves God exists, then by God's argument's, He doesn't.

I have a good advice for you: Avoid zebra crossings!

April Fools! (2, Interesting)

haggus71 (1051238) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701246)

Like the thing is gonna make such a fast discovery...

Re:April Fools! (1)

Deus.1.01 (946808) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701286)

Tell that to the poor physicists that got exposed to the thing!!

Re:April Fools! (1)

mcgrew (92797) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702542)

Actually there was some real LHC news, unless I've been spoofed. The AP is running a story [yahoo.com] "Atom smasher will help reveal 'the beginning'" Some choice bits that make me wonder if they're serious:

...physicist Michio Kaku told The Associated Press "This is a Genesis machine. It'll help to recreate the most glorious event in the history of the universe."

"This is the Jurassic Park for particle physicists," said Phil Schewe, a spokesman for the American Institute of Physics. He called the collider a time machine. "Some of the particles they are making now or are about to make haven't been around for 14 billion years."

Two beams of protons were sent hurtling in opposite directions toward each other in a 17-mile (27-kilometer) tunnel below the Swiss-French border -- the coldest place in the universe at slightly above absolute zero. CERN used powerful superconducting magnets to force the two beams to cross; two of the protons collided, producing 7 trillion electron volts.

Kaku, a professor at City College of New York, described the amount of energy produced as less than the total energy made by two mosquitoes crashing.

"In the past, every time we unraveled a force (of physics) it changed human history," Kaku said. "Now we're talking about all forces."

He compared it to events such as the Industrial Revolution, the electric and the nuclear age. Such events followed breakthroughs made by Isaac Newton, Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein.

Pics or it didn't happen. (5, Funny)

SOdhner (1619761) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701260)

Aww, I was expecting a funny picture of a CERN scientist being chased by a velocineutron. Bah.

Re:Pics or it didn't happen. (5, Funny)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701368)

*Looks left*

Clever girl...

Re:Pics or it didn't happen. (1)

pavon (30274) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701686)

If they think this particle left a mess inside the collider, just wait till they find the particle with two bottom quarks.

Re:Pics or it didn't happen. (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701968)

Wait until they engineer the five-assed Quark!

Just Sad.. (3, Insightful)

mace9984 (1406805) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701270)

This is just sad...

Re:Just Sad.. (4, Insightful)

Low Ranked Craig (1327799) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701308)

What will be really sad is when press organizations that don't know any better publish this as real news...

Re:Just Sad.. (2, Interesting)

John Hasler (414242) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701344)

Yes, it is. When are those idiots going to realize that the whole "quark" thing was an April fool's joke?

Re:Just Sad.. (4, Funny)

eleuthero (812560) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701562)

Quarks? It's all been one extended April Fools joke from the first "discovery" of atoms - get with reality people. It's all about the four Aristotelian essences.

Re:Just Sad.. (1)

blackraven14250 (902843) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701892)

You're talking the the relatively small portion of the world's population that doesn't consider science in general a joke.

Re:Just Sad.. (1)

sznupi (719324) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701986)

...meanwhile the rest is still using its fruits ;/

A new history of the universe (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701274)

Some even speculate a series of avian particles evolved from paleoparticles as the universe cooled.

As Asimov said, (1)

idontgno (624372) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701292)

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..."

Re:As Asimov said, (4, Funny)

Chris Burke (6130) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701832)

More exciting than "that's funny" is "No no, that's impossible, everyone RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Re:As Asimov said, (4, Funny)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702224)

At least you get to hear it more often. There are a few things you do not want to hear in a nuclear lab. One of them is "Now that's odd, that shouldn't happen..."

Re:As Asimov said, (1)

Chris Burke (6130) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702316)

Also if you ever hear someone say anything about a "resonance cascade", you better haul ass (for the nearest crowbar)!

Please. Not a "top" quark. (1)

John Hasler (414242) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701302)

A TRUTH quark. Which means that this story is indubitably true.

Large Hard-on Collider (5, Funny)

Ohio Calvinist (895750) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701304)

I know it's 1 April and everything but did anyone notice anything strange in the spelling of `Large Hardon Collider`?

Re:Large Hard-on Collider (1)

broggyr (924379) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701396)

Good Catch!

Re:Large Hard-on Collider (1)

zerosomething (1353609) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701762)

Just wishing I could give +Funny to those giving you +Insightful

Yes, there were multiple clues (1)

HiggsBison (678319) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701884)

I know it's 1 April and everything but did anyone notice anything strange in the spelling of `Large Hardon Collider`?

Yes. [excessive snickering, sorry]. I noticed references to "top" and "beauty" quarks. To be consistent, I think it would be top and bottom, or truth and beauty. After that I noticed the more obvious Hardon reference.

This particle is so devious (4, Funny)

presidenteloco (659168) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701310)

It reached back through time and disabled the LHC several times just so that it could ensure it would not be discovered until April Fools day.

Re:This particle is so devious (1)

mcgrew (92797) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701630)

I already said [slashdot.org] something like that last December.

My favorite part of this made up story... (4, Funny)

MistrBlank (1183469) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701322)

"Hints of the new particle had already been glimpsed in two events at Fermilab but the statistics were too low to be published. The four events observed at the LHC generated an exponential increase (2^2=4) in the statistics, allowing the physicists to announce the discovery unequivocally. "

That made me laugh out loud at work (I'm on lunch, give me a break).

Major news left out of the summary, editor (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701324)

You missed this somewhat important quote:

"Due to the discovery of these new particles, we've also determined that our experiment will cause the end of the world on December 21, 2012. We apologize for any inconvenience this will cause those living at that time."

Damn, I forgot (0, Troll)

joss (1346) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701330)

/. does not exist on April 1st, it is replaced by a lame joke site. How about some surprising but true articles and maybe one hoax next year just to shake things up a bit.

Lighten up (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701366)

April Fool's is one of the only near-universally-celebrated, meaningful, capitalism-unencumbered holidays on this planet. It only requires you to have a sense of humor. For one day out of 365.25, everyone tells silly jokes. It's not about trolling and it's not about making people miserable. It's one of the only good things left in the world. I can't understand people who are just incapable of handling it.

Re:Lighten up (0, Troll)

BitZtream (692029) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701432)

No, you, fuckoff. There are currently 7 april fools related posts on the front page. Not any one of them is even marginally funny.

If they were funny, I'd lighten up. The video chat was annoying as hell till I disabled flash for /.

I handled the first one, I handled the second one ... even the third and forth.

At this point its well into retarded. If this is what you consider one of the only good things left in the world you live a truely sad and depressing life.

This isn't one day out of the year (which is more than 365.25, if you're going to try and be cute and throw in fractional days, you should extended it out to include the rest of the fractional portion don't you?) that everyone tells silly jokes. Thats easy enough to deal with.

Its one day out of the year that slashdot does nothing but post retarded unfunny stories under the guise of April Fools jokes. If they were funny it might be different, but I don't find them funny 'just because they did it' which seems to be the point of your argument.

I don't give credit for trying, I give credit for accomplishing, so the credit here is for making slashdot pointless for the day.

Re:Lighten up (1)

nine-times (778537) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701610)

Are you joking? You're joking, right? At what point are you going to say "APRIL FOOLS!"?

Re:Lighten up (1)

Jangchub (1139089) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701702)

You almost had me for a moment, but raging so hard over something so meaningless is too unrealistic. Nobody is that bitter. Nice troll; I bit.

Re:Lighten up (2, Interesting)

biryokumaru (822262) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701914)

In astronomy, the Julian year is a unit of time, defined as 365.25 days of 86,400 SI seconds each.

- Wikipedia [wikipedia.org]

Interesting.

Re:Lighten up (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31702372)

So go do something productive with your time.

Re:Lighten up (3, Informative)

lordandmaker (960504) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701476)

Here, in the UK, it's not people telling funny jokes. It's people pulling practical jokes on other people.

Perhaps this is another of the US/UK differences (or maybe US/everywhere else). All my other (UK-based) news sources took the opportunity for some reasonably clever and subtle jokes but otherwise carried on as normal, Slashdot just spends the day 'telling silly jokes' as you put it. Having an entire site dedicated to neither believable nor particularly funny jokes kinda ruins the idea in my mind, but it's nice to see that someone enjoys it.

Re:Lighten up (1)

pclminion (145572) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701486)

April Fool's is one of the only near-universally-celebrated, meaningful, capitalism-unencumbered holidays on this planet. It only requires you to have a sense of humor. For one day out of 365.25, everyone tells silly jokes.

April Fool's is NOT about a bunch of people acting like idiots. It's about the apprehension of knowing that at any moment somebody may do or say something completely unexpected. It's about needing to stop for minute to figure out whether your colleague was really being serious about that last bit...

It's not about being barraged by stupid jokes. Every single fucking article on the main page is a joke. That makes it NO FUN. How am I supposed to be tickled and amused when I already know the story I'm about to read is complete bullshit?

I have a sense of humor, it's just that it's more developed than that of a three year old.

Re:Lighten up (2, Funny)

Jangchub (1139089) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701786)

Well, I for one totally bought into the complex ploy that Slashdot was populated by mature individuals that could take an unfunny joke or a slight inconvenience and not rage and piss their pants all over their keyboard! I mean I've believed it for months! Good show Slashdot! I'm the biggest April Fool!

Re:Lighten up (3, Insightful)

Clandestine_Blaze (1019274) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701572)

THANK YOU.

We're overwhelmed by bad news every day of the calendar year, so it's nice to have ONE DAY where you can just sit back and be entertained. You guys and gals can all go back to whining about Apple's newest review (slashvertisement), MS FUD articles, or correlationisnotcausation articles tomorrow.

Re:Lighten up (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701974)

Yes, yes, but it doesn't have the pink background AND I STILL WANT THAT DAMN PONY!

Re:Lighten up (0, Offtopic)

Archangel Michael (180766) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701680)

"It's one of the only good things left in the world."

Just wait till congress finds this out.

Re:Lighten up (1)

mcgrew (92797) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701736)

It only requires you to have a sense of humor. I can't understand people who are just incapable of handling it.

1. You answered your own question -- some folks have no sense of humor
2. It hasn't been monetized, and that's blasphemy in the US.

Re:Lighten up (2, Insightful)

mooingyak (720677) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701740)

The problem is that a good April Fool's joke can masquerade as something legit and will genuinely fool some people. And while a number of the articles that have been linked to from Slashdot might actually qualify individually, it diminishes it somewhat when your default expectation is a prank. It'd be better if there were one or two spoof stories hidden amongst a stream of legit stories.

Slashdot is kind of like the kid who doesn't quite understand the idea that sometimes once == funny, twice == funnier, three times == less funny, four times == overkill, five times == annoying.

Re:Lighten up (1)

Chris Burke (6130) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702230)

Slashdot is kind of like the kid who doesn't quite understand the idea that sometimes once == funny, twice == funnier, three times == less funny, four times == overkill, five times == annoying.

And then six == less funny and seven == funny again. So we have a sinusoidal pattern with a period of 6.

So yeah, listen up kids! Telling the same joke five times isn't funny, it's annoying! So instead always make sure to tell the joke (N*6 + 2) times where N is an integer!

Re:Lighten up (1)

mooingyak (720677) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702254)

In the hands of the right teller, that actually holds true, though rarely for a third cycle.

Re:Lighten up (1)

AnonymousN00b (1669604) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701750)

Please visit my site http://www.aprilonecards.com/ [aprilonecards.com] to purchase a card commemorating this day! Send an LHC card to your favorite physicist! Buy a Google Wave peronal notifier!

Re:Lighten up (1)

phantomfive (622387) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702518)

It's one of the only good things left in the world.

holy cow dude, I totally agree that April Fool's is cool, but what kind of world do you live in exactly? The world is a WAY better place than it was a hundred years ago.

AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!! 4-1 is bad news day! (2)

jkinney3 (535278) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701356)

I'm going to have to start putting a squid block on slashdot on Aprils fools day.

got all excited about finding a new particle...

That's not all they found! (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701362)

The Reg has coverage of an even more important discovery [theregister.co.uk] at the LHC.

ha (1)

pele (151312) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701370)

ha?

Link (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701390)

Here [icanhazlar...llider.com] is a picture of the event.

Re:Link (1)

IMightB (533307) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701472)

Iz in Ur Collizions

How many fucking more April Fools posts? (0, Troll)

BitZtream (692029) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701392)

This is #7 by my count ... are you going to finish anytime soon or should we all just come back tomorrow when you've pulled your head out of your ass?

Re:How many fucking more April Fools posts? (1)

revlayle (964221) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701402)

come back tomorrow - the rest of us will laugh - you can be a party pooper

Re:How many fucking more April Fools posts? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701584)

Speak for yourself. How anyone can laugh at any of these "jokes" is beyond me. Let the onion do the fake news. Slashdot is barely good enough for real news.

Re:How many fucking more April Fools posts? (2, Funny)

Irontail (1346011) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701788)

Parent obviously contains too many grumpy quarks.

Calling in sick next 4/1 (3, Funny)

Liquidrage (640463) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701428)

and unplugging. Not even worth going on the web at this point. All news is crap jokes that are fooling no one. Part of the 4/1 joke should be that it might fool someone.

Re:Calling in sick next 4/1 (1)

John Hasler (414242) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702000)

> All news is crap jokes that are fooling no one.

You're just noticing now? That's been true for decades.

Re:Calling in sick next 4/1 (1)

jd (1658) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702008)

Some of the classics fooled many people. The BBC's documentary on the spaghetti harvest, Patrick Moore's gravity reduction experiment, The Guardian's stories on the Outer Focus mountains and the Serif islands, etc. The Slashdot link-up with cuteoverload didn't so much fool people as amuse (and it amused many!)

If nobody is publishing any good April Fools jokes this year, just remember that "nobody" includes you. Where's your contribution?

Re:Calling in sick next 4/1 (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31702114)

Some of the classics are fun and especially, if it fools people. This year I encountered something April fools -related that was particularly enjoyable - a very nice quiz that must've taken quite a lot of effort to put together. The Swedish state broadcaster's news site had compiled the most bizarre news and April fools from several newspapers and then you could test in how many cases you could tell which of three very odd items from each paper was the April fool whilst the other two were real reports. The only sad thing was a vote in the European parliament in favour of Internet regulation and companies being granted more authority over it.

Fucking lame. Here's something that matters. (0, Flamebait)

eddy (18759) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701464)

Give up with the april fools lameness already. Every year /. degenerates into absolute worthlessness. Look, there's real stuff out there to post, like Simon Singh winning his appeal [bbc.co.uk] .

(mods: can't touch this karma)

Stop it. (1)

BigBadBus (653823) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701468)

Stop turning Slashdot into a parody of itself. There have already been too many fucking April Fools "jokes". Stop it. Stop it NOW.

Re:Stop it. (1)

Microlith (54737) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701514)

Hey look, someone who's new here! Welcome to April Fool's Day, when Slashdot goes overboard.

Re:Stop it. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31702466)

Stop turning Slashdot into a parody of itself. There have already been too many fucking April Fools "jokes". Stop it. Stop it NOW.

Yes. Nerds without a sense of humour need a refuge they can feel safe in.

sh1Lt (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701474)

Itself backwards, don't want to feel and some of the Subscribers. Please BSD managed to make balance is struck, correct network users. This is area. It is the Creek, abysmal A need to play You. The tireless Morning. Now I have reciprocating Usenet is roughly Parts of you are like they are Come OF AmERICA) today, By fundamental will recall that it obligated to care networking test. and committees Core team. They a way to spend Pooper. Nothing survival prospects want them there. successes with the or make loud noises on an endeavour steadily fucking 'first post' Operating systems

Re:sh1Lt (1)

Mindcontrolled (1388007) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701948)

Itself backwards, don't want to feel and some of the Subscribers. Please BSD managed to make balance is struck, correct network users. This is area. It is the Creek, abysmal A need to play You. The tireless Morning. Now I have reciprocating Usenet is roughly Parts of you are like they are Come OF AmERICA) today, By fundamental will recall that it obligated to care networking test. and committees Core team. They a way to spend Pooper. Nothing survival prospects want them there. successes with the or make loud noises on an endeavour steadily fucking 'first post' Operating systems

Are the automated troll-bots finally becoming sentient? This one has me scared...

Re:sh1Lt (1)

V!NCENT (1105021) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702272)

Isn't that one of those new-ish byte-code hacks that take over your computer? I don't care because I am using a rare and new browser on SELinux with latest security fixes.

But if so and you are a Windows user, then kiss your security goodbye ;)

And no, it's not a 4/1

Re:sh1Lt (1)

Mindcontrolled (1388007) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702326)

Actually, to me it looks rather like a memetic mind-virus, that takes over your brain... I find myself mumbling incoherent but strangely poetic sequences since I first read that post. Almost as if. In coHerent things ancient of beauty green in the blue. Ah the maelStrom, ideas. Days in Past longing for the Wichita Vortex Sutra... *COUGH* No, can't be. All is well. Ignore me.

I ran the numerous "quarks" by Google Translate (1)

swschrad (312009) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701510)

it has been identified as a pond of duck scum.

Aprilfoolium (1)

JoshDM (741866) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701542)

It's just like Unobtainium, except not real.

I'm going to downgrade my recent poll answer (1)

fortfive (1582005) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701550)

to "average," because I'm not smart enough to know whether this was an April Fool's joke without looking at the comments.

STOP IT!!! (1)

cparker15 (779546) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701586)

I have no sense of humor and I can't handle the overall air of silliness that has blanketed Slashdot. You all suck for having way too much fun!

Won't somebody please think of those with Asperger's?

I'm going to go sulk now. LEAVE ME ALONE!

Re:STOP IT!!! (1)

jd (1658) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702024)

I have Asperger's and I love the true classic April Fools jokes, including some of the truly great ones that have appeared on Slashdot in the past. True, this year's batch aren't impressive in comparison, but don't blame others if you're not writing any.

Re:STOP IT!!! (1)

V!NCENT (1105021) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702298)

That's not realy the problem. The real problem is that there is real news mixed up with april fools in the news sources today.

I hate that too. If I wanted to have April Fools, I would go watch Union News Network, which is by extend a thousand times more awesome than every april fools news post on the entire intarwebs combined...

great, but... (1)

loxosceles (580563) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701668)

All I want to know is: how many electron-volts were generated?

Re:great, but... (1)

jd (1658) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702034)

sqrt(-1)

1 april (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701790)

Fools.

So is it a joke or not? (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701802)

This article... joke or not? its too subtle.

And that chat roullette thing... funny, but posting it on every article with no means to turn off?? See you tomorrow then.

Re:So is it a joke or not? (1)

ub3r n3u7r4l1st (1388939) | more than 4 years ago | (#31701958)

just cover your head with tinfoil or press a gum on your webcam.

ha ha ha! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#31701998)

Ha ha ha. Hilarious. The multi-billion dollar experiment which is 5 years behind schedule didn't actually find anything yet!

That, and the black hole... (1)

YeSQL (1781004) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702014)

Read TFA.

hmm (1)

qsliver (1737040) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702022)

Good but I'm still looking for today's best.

Naughty (1)

inkrypted (1579407) | more than 4 years ago | (#31702546)

Would this be the result of the naughty quark discovered by James Isaac Neutron at The Pomina school of advanced Physics?
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