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First LHC Data Hint At New Particle

CmdrTaco posted about 4 years ago | from the still-no-black-holes dept.

Science 124

Anonymous Dupeur writes "Only 12 hours after the start of operation of the Large Hardon Collider at an unprecedentedly high energy level, a discovery had been made. Today, in its press release, CERN disclosed the observation of a new class — paleoparticles. 'It's awful,' explains Alain Grand, still shocked by the discovery. 'It left horrible tracks inside the detector that made the physicists on duty at the time feel quite sick.' No wonder. The particle consists of two strange quarks and one top quark but no beauty or charm quark. The physicists have nicknamed it the 'neutrinosaurus.' This marks a first success of the — finally — started experiment."

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124 comments

ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (4, Funny)

thomasdz (178114) | about 4 years ago | (#31701218)

ahh yes, the "Devil Particle"
although wouldn't the existence of a Devil Particle prove the existence of the God Particle?

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31701254)

They say the Devil Particle's greatest accomplishment was convincing Fermilab it didn't exist.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (2, Interesting)

tepples (727027) | about 4 years ago | (#31701266)

According to Negentropism [wikidot.com] , the devil is entropy.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

sznupi (719324) | about 4 years ago | (#31702216)

Rather the other way around?

(PS. Overall /me likes this one... ;) ...somehow too bad it's fiction; but otoh - which philosophy is or isn't?)

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (2, Funny)

characterZer0 (138196) | about 4 years ago | (#31701276)

No, it would just prove that the God Particle existed at one point in time. It was there for the big bang, but then it turned into the Topeka Particle.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (3, Insightful)

physburn (1095481) | about 4 years ago | (#31701296)

Funny April fool, but done, over at that scienfic blogging they had the LHC discovering the graviton. Paleo particles, dinosaur hadrons, thats funny. Not LOL but funny. I have to be Pedantic though, Top quarks don't live long enough to be bound to anything else.

---

LHC [feeddistiller.com] blogs articles at Feed Distiller [feeddistiller.com]

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

pclminion (145572) | about 4 years ago | (#31701448)

Top quarks don't live long enough to be bound to anything else.

Quarks are ALWAYS bound to something else. A solitary quark has never been seen.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

OnlyJedi (709288) | about 4 years ago | (#31702270)

From the wikipedia article for top quark [wikipedia.org] :

The only known way that a top quark can decay is through the weak interaction producing a W-boson and a down-type quark (down, strange, or bottom). Because of its enormous mass, the top quark is extremely short lived with a predicted lifetime of only 5×1025 s. As a result top quarks do not have time to form hadrons before they decay, as other quarks do. This provides physicists with the unique opportunity the study the behavior of a bare quark.

So for any of the other five quarks you'd be right, but not for the top quark. True, a top quark won't be bound lying about. But neither will it be found bound in any hadrons—that is, mesons (quark-antiquark pairs) and baryons (three quark triplets)—like the other five. The only way to get a top quark is to create one, and then it only exists (bare, by itself) for a very, very short time.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702368)

Yes they have been.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

theIsovist (1348209) | about 4 years ago | (#31702342)

Sadly when I first read this, I figured 'neutrinosaurus' wasn't such a strange name for a quark. I mean, hell, strange is already one.

Speaking of the wonderfully named quarks. My physicist friend got married last year, and you can be sure, we brought up "if his wife was a quark, would she be a top quark or a bottom quark"? The man laughed at that joke, as only a supremely drunk physicist could.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702506)

Probably better that his wife didn't find out that they are also known as truth or beauty quarks...

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (2, Funny)

Locke2005 (849178) | about 4 years ago | (#31701348)

"The greatest trick the devil particle ever played was convincing people that it didn't exist..."

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31701848)

Proof denies faith, and without faith, God is nothing. If the Devil particle proves God exists, then by God's argument's, He doesn't.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

aristotle-dude (626586) | about 4 years ago | (#31702018)

Proof denies faith, and without faith, God is nothing. If the Devil particle proves God exists, then by God's argument's, He doesn't.

That is circular logic where you assume that faith has any effect on god. It has an effect on man and how they perceive the world around them.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

sznupi (719324) | about 4 years ago | (#31702032)

Proof obsoletes belief, and with it faith. If something proves anything about gods, then it's no longer palatable to the faithfull.

Re:ahh yes, the "Devil Particle" (1)

maxwell demon (590494) | about 4 years ago | (#31702196)

Proof denies faith, and without faith, God is nothing. If the Devil particle proves God exists, then by God's argument's, He doesn't.

I have a good advice for you: Avoid zebra crossings!

April Fools! (2, Interesting)

haggus71 (1051238) | about 4 years ago | (#31701246)

Like the thing is gonna make such a fast discovery...

Re:April Fools! (1)

mcgrew (92797) | about 4 years ago | (#31702542)

Actually there was some real LHC news, unless I've been spoofed. The AP is running a story [yahoo.com] "Atom smasher will help reveal 'the beginning'" Some choice bits that make me wonder if they're serious:

...physicist Michio Kaku told The Associated Press "This is a Genesis machine. It'll help to recreate the most glorious event in the history of the universe."

"This is the Jurassic Park for particle physicists," said Phil Schewe, a spokesman for the American Institute of Physics. He called the collider a time machine. "Some of the particles they are making now or are about to make haven't been around for 14 billion years."

Two beams of protons were sent hurtling in opposite directions toward each other in a 17-mile (27-kilometer) tunnel below the Swiss-French border -- the coldest place in the universe at slightly above absolute zero. CERN used powerful superconducting magnets to force the two beams to cross; two of the protons collided, producing 7 trillion electron volts.

Kaku, a professor at City College of New York, described the amount of energy produced as less than the total energy made by two mosquitoes crashing.

"In the past, every time we unraveled a force (of physics) it changed human history," Kaku said. "Now we're talking about all forces."

He compared it to events such as the Industrial Revolution, the electric and the nuclear age. Such events followed breakthroughs made by Isaac Newton, Thomas Edison and Albert Einstein.

Pics or it didn't happen. (5, Funny)

SOdhner (1619761) | about 4 years ago | (#31701260)

Aww, I was expecting a funny picture of a CERN scientist being chased by a velocineutron. Bah.

Re:Pics or it didn't happen. (1)

pavon (30274) | about 4 years ago | (#31701686)

If they think this particle left a mess inside the collider, just wait till they find the particle with two bottom quarks.

Re:Pics or it didn't happen. (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31701968)

Wait until they engineer the five-assed Quark!

Just Sad.. (3, Insightful)

mace9984 (1406805) | about 4 years ago | (#31701270)

This is just sad...

Re:Just Sad.. (2, Interesting)

John Hasler (414242) | about 4 years ago | (#31701344)

Yes, it is. When are those idiots going to realize that the whole "quark" thing was an April fool's joke?

Re:Just Sad.. (4, Funny)

eleuthero (812560) | about 4 years ago | (#31701562)

Quarks? It's all been one extended April Fools joke from the first "discovery" of atoms - get with reality people. It's all about the four Aristotelian essences.

A new history of the universe (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31701274)

Some even speculate a series of avian particles evolved from paleoparticles as the universe cooled.

As Asimov said, (1)

idontgno (624372) | about 4 years ago | (#31701292)

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but "That's funny..."

Re:As Asimov said, (4, Funny)

Chris Burke (6130) | about 4 years ago | (#31701832)

More exciting than "that's funny" is "No no, that's impossible, everyone RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Re:As Asimov said, (4, Funny)

Opportunist (166417) | about 4 years ago | (#31702224)

At least you get to hear it more often. There are a few things you do not want to hear in a nuclear lab. One of them is "Now that's odd, that shouldn't happen..."

Re:As Asimov said, (1)

Chris Burke (6130) | about 4 years ago | (#31702316)

Also if you ever hear someone say anything about a "resonance cascade", you better haul ass (for the nearest crowbar)!

Large Hard-on Collider (5, Funny)

Ohio Calvinist (895750) | about 4 years ago | (#31701304)

I know it's 1 April and everything but did anyone notice anything strange in the spelling of `Large Hardon Collider`?

Yes, there were multiple clues (1)

HiggsBison (678319) | about 4 years ago | (#31701884)

I know it's 1 April and everything but did anyone notice anything strange in the spelling of `Large Hardon Collider`?

Yes. [excessive snickering, sorry]. I noticed references to "top" and "beauty" quarks. To be consistent, I think it would be top and bottom, or truth and beauty. After that I noticed the more obvious Hardon reference.

This particle is so devious (4, Funny)

presidenteloco (659168) | about 4 years ago | (#31701310)

It reached back through time and disabled the LHC several times just so that it could ensure it would not be discovered until April Fools day.

My favorite part of this made up story... (4, Funny)

MistrBlank (1183469) | about 4 years ago | (#31701322)

"Hints of the new particle had already been glimpsed in two events at Fermilab but the statistics were too low to be published. The four events observed at the LHC generated an exponential increase (2^2=4) in the statistics, allowing the physicists to announce the discovery unequivocally. "

That made me laugh out loud at work (I'm on lunch, give me a break).

Major news left out of the summary, editor (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31701324)

You missed this somewhat important quote:

"Due to the discovery of these new particles, we've also determined that our experiment will cause the end of the world on December 21, 2012. We apologize for any inconvenience this will cause those living at that time."

Damn, I forgot (0, Troll)

joss (1346) | about 4 years ago | (#31701330)

/. does not exist on April 1st, it is replaced by a lame joke site. How about some surprising but true articles and maybe one hoax next year just to shake things up a bit.

Lighten up (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31701366)

April Fool's is one of the only near-universally-celebrated, meaningful, capitalism-unencumbered holidays on this planet. It only requires you to have a sense of humor. For one day out of 365.25, everyone tells silly jokes. It's not about trolling and it's not about making people miserable. It's one of the only good things left in the world. I can't understand people who are just incapable of handling it.

Re:Lighten up (0, Troll)

BitZtream (692029) | about 4 years ago | (#31701432)

No, you, fuckoff. There are currently 7 april fools related posts on the front page. Not any one of them is even marginally funny.

If they were funny, I'd lighten up. The video chat was annoying as hell till I disabled flash for /.

I handled the first one, I handled the second one ... even the third and forth.

At this point its well into retarded. If this is what you consider one of the only good things left in the world you live a truely sad and depressing life.

This isn't one day out of the year (which is more than 365.25, if you're going to try and be cute and throw in fractional days, you should extended it out to include the rest of the fractional portion don't you?) that everyone tells silly jokes. Thats easy enough to deal with.

Its one day out of the year that slashdot does nothing but post retarded unfunny stories under the guise of April Fools jokes. If they were funny it might be different, but I don't find them funny 'just because they did it' which seems to be the point of your argument.

I don't give credit for trying, I give credit for accomplishing, so the credit here is for making slashdot pointless for the day.

Re:Lighten up (1)

Jangchub (1139089) | about 4 years ago | (#31701702)

You almost had me for a moment, but raging so hard over something so meaningless is too unrealistic. Nobody is that bitter. Nice troll; I bit.

Re:Lighten up (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702372)

So go do something productive with your time.

Re:Lighten up (3, Informative)

lordandmaker (960504) | about 4 years ago | (#31701476)

Here, in the UK, it's not people telling funny jokes. It's people pulling practical jokes on other people.

Perhaps this is another of the US/UK differences (or maybe US/everywhere else). All my other (UK-based) news sources took the opportunity for some reasonably clever and subtle jokes but otherwise carried on as normal, Slashdot just spends the day 'telling silly jokes' as you put it. Having an entire site dedicated to neither believable nor particularly funny jokes kinda ruins the idea in my mind, but it's nice to see that someone enjoys it.

Re:Lighten up (1)

pclminion (145572) | about 4 years ago | (#31701486)

April Fool's is one of the only near-universally-celebrated, meaningful, capitalism-unencumbered holidays on this planet. It only requires you to have a sense of humor. For one day out of 365.25, everyone tells silly jokes.

April Fool's is NOT about a bunch of people acting like idiots. It's about the apprehension of knowing that at any moment somebody may do or say something completely unexpected. It's about needing to stop for minute to figure out whether your colleague was really being serious about that last bit...

It's not about being barraged by stupid jokes. Every single fucking article on the main page is a joke. That makes it NO FUN. How am I supposed to be tickled and amused when I already know the story I'm about to read is complete bullshit?

I have a sense of humor, it's just that it's more developed than that of a three year old.

Re:Lighten up (2, Funny)

Jangchub (1139089) | about 4 years ago | (#31701786)

Well, I for one totally bought into the complex ploy that Slashdot was populated by mature individuals that could take an unfunny joke or a slight inconvenience and not rage and piss their pants all over their keyboard! I mean I've believed it for months! Good show Slashdot! I'm the biggest April Fool!

Re:Lighten up (3, Insightful)

Clandestine_Blaze (1019274) | about 4 years ago | (#31701572)

THANK YOU.

We're overwhelmed by bad news every day of the calendar year, so it's nice to have ONE DAY where you can just sit back and be entertained. You guys and gals can all go back to whining about Apple's newest review (slashvertisement), MS FUD articles, or correlationisnotcausation articles tomorrow.

Re:Lighten up (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31701974)

Yes, yes, but it doesn't have the pink background AND I STILL WANT THAT DAMN PONY!

Re:Lighten up (1)

mcgrew (92797) | about 4 years ago | (#31701736)

It only requires you to have a sense of humor. I can't understand people who are just incapable of handling it.

1. You answered your own question -- some folks have no sense of humor
2. It hasn't been monetized, and that's blasphemy in the US.

Re:Lighten up (2, Insightful)

mooingyak (720677) | about 4 years ago | (#31701740)

The problem is that a good April Fool's joke can masquerade as something legit and will genuinely fool some people. And while a number of the articles that have been linked to from Slashdot might actually qualify individually, it diminishes it somewhat when your default expectation is a prank. It'd be better if there were one or two spoof stories hidden amongst a stream of legit stories.

Slashdot is kind of like the kid who doesn't quite understand the idea that sometimes once == funny, twice == funnier, three times == less funny, four times == overkill, five times == annoying.

Re:Lighten up (1)

Chris Burke (6130) | about 4 years ago | (#31702230)

Slashdot is kind of like the kid who doesn't quite understand the idea that sometimes once == funny, twice == funnier, three times == less funny, four times == overkill, five times == annoying.

And then six == less funny and seven == funny again. So we have a sinusoidal pattern with a period of 6.

So yeah, listen up kids! Telling the same joke five times isn't funny, it's annoying! So instead always make sure to tell the joke (N*6 + 2) times where N is an integer!

Re:Lighten up (1)

phantomfive (622387) | about 4 years ago | (#31702518)

It's one of the only good things left in the world.

holy cow dude, I totally agree that April Fool's is cool, but what kind of world do you live in exactly? The world is a WAY better place than it was a hundred years ago.

AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!! 4-1 is bad news day! (2)

jkinney3 (535278) | about 4 years ago | (#31701356)

I'm going to have to start putting a squid block on slashdot on Aprils fools day.

got all excited about finding a new particle...

How many fucking more April Fools posts? (0, Troll)

BitZtream (692029) | about 4 years ago | (#31701392)

This is #7 by my count ... are you going to finish anytime soon or should we all just come back tomorrow when you've pulled your head out of your ass?

Re:How many fucking more April Fools posts? (1)

revlayle (964221) | about 4 years ago | (#31701402)

come back tomorrow - the rest of us will laugh - you can be a party pooper

Re:How many fucking more April Fools posts? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31701584)

Speak for yourself. How anyone can laugh at any of these "jokes" is beyond me. Let the onion do the fake news. Slashdot is barely good enough for real news.

Calling in sick next 4/1 (3, Funny)

Liquidrage (640463) | about 4 years ago | (#31701428)

and unplugging. Not even worth going on the web at this point. All news is crap jokes that are fooling no one. Part of the 4/1 joke should be that it might fool someone.

Re:Calling in sick next 4/1 (1)

John Hasler (414242) | about 4 years ago | (#31702000)

> All news is crap jokes that are fooling no one.

You're just noticing now? That's been true for decades.

Re:Calling in sick next 4/1 (1)

jd (1658) | about 4 years ago | (#31702008)

Some of the classics fooled many people. The BBC's documentary on the spaghetti harvest, Patrick Moore's gravity reduction experiment, The Guardian's stories on the Outer Focus mountains and the Serif islands, etc. The Slashdot link-up with cuteoverload didn't so much fool people as amuse (and it amused many!)

If nobody is publishing any good April Fools jokes this year, just remember that "nobody" includes you. Where's your contribution?

Re:Calling in sick next 4/1 (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702114)

Some of the classics are fun and especially, if it fools people. This year I encountered something April fools -related that was particularly enjoyable - a very nice quiz that must've taken quite a lot of effort to put together. The Swedish state broadcaster's news site had compiled the most bizarre news and April fools from several newspapers and then you could test in how many cases you could tell which of three very odd items from each paper was the April fool whilst the other two were real reports. The only sad thing was a vote in the European parliament in favour of Internet regulation and companies being granted more authority over it.

Fucking lame. Here's something that matters. (0, Flamebait)

eddy (18759) | about 4 years ago | (#31701464)

Give up with the april fools lameness already. Every year /. degenerates into absolute worthlessness. Look, there's real stuff out there to post, like Simon Singh winning his appeal [bbc.co.uk] .

(mods: can't touch this karma)

Stop it. (1)

BigBadBus (653823) | about 4 years ago | (#31701468)

Stop turning Slashdot into a parody of itself. There have already been too many fucking April Fools "jokes". Stop it. Stop it NOW.

Re:Stop it. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702466)

Stop turning Slashdot into a parody of itself. There have already been too many fucking April Fools "jokes". Stop it. Stop it NOW.

Yes. Nerds without a sense of humour need a refuge they can feel safe in.

sh1Lt (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31701474)

Itself backwards, don't want to feel and some of the Subscribers. Please BSD managed to make balance is struck, correct network users. This is area. It is the Creek, abysmal A need to play You. The tireless Morning. Now I have reciprocating Usenet is roughly Parts of you are like they are Come OF AmERICA) today, By fundamental will recall that it obligated to care networking test. and committees Core team. They a way to spend Pooper. Nothing survival prospects want them there. successes with the or make loud noises on an endeavour steadily fucking 'first post' Operating systems

Re:sh1Lt (1)

Mindcontrolled (1388007) | about 4 years ago | (#31701948)

Itself backwards, don't want to feel and some of the Subscribers. Please BSD managed to make balance is struck, correct network users. This is area. It is the Creek, abysmal A need to play You. The tireless Morning. Now I have reciprocating Usenet is roughly Parts of you are like they are Come OF AmERICA) today, By fundamental will recall that it obligated to care networking test. and committees Core team. They a way to spend Pooper. Nothing survival prospects want them there. successes with the or make loud noises on an endeavour steadily fucking 'first post' Operating systems

Are the automated troll-bots finally becoming sentient? This one has me scared...

Re:sh1Lt (1)

V!NCENT (1105021) | about 4 years ago | (#31702272)

Isn't that one of those new-ish byte-code hacks that take over your computer? I don't care because I am using a rare and new browser on SELinux with latest security fixes.

But if so and you are a Windows user, then kiss your security goodbye ;)

And no, it's not a 4/1

Re:sh1Lt (1)

Mindcontrolled (1388007) | about 4 years ago | (#31702326)

Actually, to me it looks rather like a memetic mind-virus, that takes over your brain... I find myself mumbling incoherent but strangely poetic sequences since I first read that post. Almost as if. In coHerent things ancient of beauty green in the blue. Ah the maelStrom, ideas. Days in Past longing for the Wichita Vortex Sutra... *COUGH* No, can't be. All is well. Ignore me.

I'm going to downgrade my recent poll answer (1)

fortfive (1582005) | about 4 years ago | (#31701550)

to "average," because I'm not smart enough to know whether this was an April Fool's joke without looking at the comments.

STOP IT!!! (1)

cparker15 (779546) | about 4 years ago | (#31701586)

I have no sense of humor and I can't handle the overall air of silliness that has blanketed Slashdot. You all suck for having way too much fun!

Won't somebody please think of those with Asperger's?

I'm going to go sulk now. LEAVE ME ALONE!

Re:STOP IT!!! (1)

jd (1658) | about 4 years ago | (#31702024)

I have Asperger's and I love the true classic April Fools jokes, including some of the truly great ones that have appeared on Slashdot in the past. True, this year's batch aren't impressive in comparison, but don't blame others if you're not writing any.

Re:STOP IT!!! (1)

V!NCENT (1105021) | about 4 years ago | (#31702298)

That's not realy the problem. The real problem is that there is real news mixed up with april fools in the news sources today.

I hate that too. If I wanted to have April Fools, I would go watch Union News Network, which is by extend a thousand times more awesome than every april fools news post on the entire intarwebs combined...

So is it a joke or not? (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31701802)

This article... joke or not? its too subtle.

And that chat roullette thing... funny, but posting it on every article with no means to turn off?? See you tomorrow then.

ha ha ha! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31701998)

Ha ha ha. Hilarious. The multi-billion dollar experiment which is 5 years behind schedule didn't actually find anything yet!

Naughty (1)

inkrypted (1579407) | about 4 years ago | (#31702546)

Would this be the result of the naughty quark discovered by James Isaac Neutron at The Pomina school of advanced Physics?
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