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NASA Launches Giant Magnifying Glass Into Space

CmdrTaco posted about 4 years ago | from the it's-all-in-the-name-of-science dept.

NASA 115

ByronScott writes "Early this morning NASA kicked off Operation LENS, an ambitious plan to concentrate and collect solar power using a giant magnifying glass in outer space. Long speculated to be a rumor, the 7,000,000 ft. wide lens was fabricated over the course of the past three years and launched from Cape Canaveral much to the dismay of almost every scientist in the world. While the first phase went exactly as planned, the plan hit a major snag when the magnifying glass began to work a bit too well, and ended up scorching large regions in the western hemisphere."

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115 comments

LOLOLOLOL (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702574)

Just make it stop. Next headline:

Slashdot Completely Worthless For a Day

Re:LOLOLOLOL (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702620)

Obviously this site is utterly useless today.

Re:LOLOLOLOL (0, Redundant)

Intron (870560) | about 4 years ago | (#31702666)

Finally I found out what's going on with slashdot. The site was abandoned and given to a class of 7-year olds at a Minneapolis public school who are now the editors and story submitters. This explains kdawson, the Idle section and the flash which is now appearing at the top of every article.

Re:LOLOLOLOL (1)

Yvan256 (722131) | about 4 years ago | (#31702834)

Flash? What Flash? All I get is

This content requires the Flash Player. Download Flash Player. Already have Flash Player? Click here.

This site wants to access your webcam.

Please ensure you can see yourself above. Some visitors may have to right-click or context-click then choose 'Settings'.

On the left, with a huge white box with

Welcome to SlashRoulette!

Notes:
------
- This application pretends to use peer-to-peer connection.
  Please configure your firewall accordingly
- If you don't want to see the "allow/deny webcam"
  window every time you are connected:

1. Right-click on the camera panel and select "Settings".
2. In the second tab, check "Remember" to remember your choice.

Rules:
---------
- Don't talk about SlashRoulette to outsiders.
- No Hats

Contacts:

E-mail: srsly@slashdot.org

on the right, taking maybe half my screen. Instructions for a plug-in that I disabled and that is not displayed at all.

I think agent Smith had it right. Let me paraphrase:
"Flash is a disease, a cancer of the Web. It's a plague and HTML5 is the cure."

Re:LOLOLOLOL (1)

Intron (870560) | about 4 years ago | (#31703222)

So you would prefer to see: This content requires the HTML5 Player

Great.

Actually, I was wrong. The site today was written by a new script for the Eliza program entirely running in emacs which just puts together random articles. humor.el still isn't working but RMS should have it fixed by late 2013.

Re:LOLOLOLOL (3, Interesting)

DJLuc1d (1010987) | about 4 years ago | (#31703266)

God forbid anyone have a little fun 1 day out of the year. It's April fools day, Slashdot has been doing this forever, yet somehow people still fail to expect an April fools day joke on April fools, and then whine like it couldn't have been foreseen at every single article. If you really can't handle some people enjoying themselves, get away from /. for the day. Your SCO lawsuit, microsoft-blunder-of-the-week, MAFIAA, and LHC news will be back tomorrow. For today, you just have to take the needle out of your arm.

Re:LOLOLOLOL (1)

Intron (870560) | about 4 years ago | (#31703306)

God forbid anyone have a little fun 1 day out of the year.

But I am having fun. Seriously, chill out. Grumbling is all part of the plan.

Re:LOLOLOLOL (1)

c6gunner (950153) | about 4 years ago | (#31703414)

Don't tell me you're actually looking at the flash. It took all of 5 seconds to disable with Ad-Block. If you're using any kind of filtering software, just block "http://s.fsdn.com/aprilfools/*"

Re:LOLOLOLOL (1)

arielCo (995647) | about 4 years ago | (#31703282)

I don't mind silliness, but please do it smartly.

I still remember the OMGPONIES edition (2007?), when the theme was changed to pink and a few insightful jokes were posted. (Anyone knows how I can find those stories? I can't and I'd really really like to bookmark them)

Jesus. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702580)

This crap isn't funny.

Please Stop (5, Informative)

oldspewey (1303305) | about 4 years ago | (#31702582)

Please stop now.

Re:Please Stop (2, Informative)

AcidPenguin9873 (911493) | about 4 years ago | (#31702728)

Please stop posting "Please stop" comments. If you don't like it, stop reading Slashdot for the day.

Re:Please Stop (2, Informative)

Flea of Pain (1577213) | about 4 years ago | (#31702748)

Please stop posting "Please stop posting "Please stop" " comments. If you don't like them don't read the comment section on stupid stories. You know there will be at least one.

Re:Please Stop (4, Insightful)

oldspewey (1303305) | about 4 years ago | (#31702756)

When the 3-word post "please stop now" gets rated +5 informative, it's time for the /. editors to take note.

Re:Please Stop (1)

oneTheory (1194569) | about 4 years ago | (#31702820)

Honestly ppl, it's just silly news for a day. The world will still be here in all its boring splendor tomorrow. You won't miss anything important.

Re:Please Stop (1)

dominious (1077089) | about 4 years ago | (#31702842)

you must be new here. I bet if you look back on the last 5 years on 1st April, you will see the same old comments:)
"Please stop",
"/. worthless for a day",
"see you tomorrow",
"im not coming back",
etc.

Re:Please Stop (4, Insightful)

AcidPenguin9873 (911493) | about 4 years ago | (#31702884)

Slashdot has been doing stupid April 1 shit for more than 10 years, and hasn't heeded any negative comments about 1) the fact that they do it at all, 2) the style/type/content of the jokes, or 3) the amount/length of time that it goes on. Everyone should be well aware of this by now. If you can't stand it, leave. Or start your own tech/politics site that doesn't do stupid April 1 shit. The editors here obviously don't care about any opinions about April 1 shenanigans, and will continue to do as they please.

Additionally, posting a "Please stop" comment on April 1 is karma whoring. It's a +5 Insightful for what amounts to a first post.

Re:Please Stop (1)

Tetsujin (103070) | about 4 years ago | (#31703244)

Additionally, posting a "Please stop" comment on April 1 is karma whoring. It's a +5 Insightful for what amounts to a first post.

Posting anything that people will agree with is karma whoring! So stop playing up to the masses all the time! If your comments aren't constantly being modded "overrated" or "troll" then you're just karma whoring!

Re:Please Stop (1)

517714 (762276) | about 4 years ago | (#31703324)

Additionally, posting a "Please stop" comment on April 1 is karma whoring. It's a +5 Insightful for what amounts to a first post.

Thanks for the tip!

NO, please do not stop (1)

geekoid (135745) | about 4 years ago | (#31702812)

I like it.

You should just go away.

Re:NO, please do not stop (1)

LateArthurDent (1403947) | about 4 years ago | (#31703122)

I like it.

You should just go away.

You're not alone. I'm a fan as well.

Talk about having no life. If slashdot doesn't post anything these people like, do they really have that much trouble finding something else to do? At the very least find other sites to visit...for one...fucking...day. The internet is a big place.

Re:Please Stop (4, Insightful)

GargamelSpaceman (992546) | about 4 years ago | (#31702878)

April fools joke stories in past years have taken a bit of thought to distinguish from the real ones. When they don't fool anyone, they pretty much suck as April Fools jokes.

Re:Please Stop (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703702)

Who said that this news in an April fool joke ? I know it better, I was one of the engineers, who constructed the lense...

Re:Please Stop (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703706)

I thought it was a little warm today :)

West coast scorched? (3, Funny)

mr_flea (776124) | about 4 years ago | (#31702584)

I hope someone sheds some light on this problem.

Re:West coast scorched? (1)

WalksOnDirt (704461) | about 4 years ago | (#31702628)

Scorched means it's still edible. If it was burned we'd have to throw it away.

Wait, did you write coast? Sorry, I read that as toast. Never mind.

Re:West coast scorched? (1)

zero_out (1705074) | about 4 years ago | (#31702788)

[jest]I hope it torched the fruits and nuts in California. That place is full of weird people.[/jest] Love the weather though.

Hm, (1)

KDN (3283) | about 4 years ago | (#31702604)

Doesn't this sound like a plot device from a recent James Bond movie?

April Fools Jokes get old.. (0, Offtopic)

rotide (1015173) | about 4 years ago | (#31702610)

April Fools Jokes get old when 100% of the stories on your site consist of them. I enjoyed the days of past when you found it fun to try and figure out which stories were jokes. Now every damn story is a "joke". Stops being cute/funny really really fast.

Re:April Fools Jokes get old.. (3, Funny)

bastion_xx (233612) | about 4 years ago | (#31702676)

Same burning complaints back in the early 00's and even the 99's. At least now we have tags that shed light on the subject (so to speak).

Tomorrow will a brighter day, especially on the Left Coast.

Re:April Fools Jokes get old.. (1)

the linux geek (799780) | about 4 years ago | (#31702704)

This is not 1/1000 as bad as the Year of OMGPOnies. Figure approximately 120 stories, all in a horrible pink color scheme and done with a stereotypical valley-girl dialect. About half were ThinkGeek advertisements, and the other half ridiculous april fool stories.

Re:April Fools Jokes get old.. (1)

Jazz-Masta (240659) | about 4 years ago | (#31702738)

The jokes have to be really outlandish, otherwise certain people take them seriously.

Example:

Headline: Apple invents iDead - Apple unveiled today a revolutionary, magically device that kills people.
Result: Obviously a joke, no one will take it seriously.

Headline: Apple invents iEye - Apple today unveiled a revolutionary, magically device that integrates with the optic nerve to restore sight to blind people.
Result: People believe it, Apple stock goes way up. People get rich. Once it is found to be a joke (it is believable because some companies have made inroads to this, but the name should have given it away...I mean, iEye? But then again, iPad is just as bad). Apple stock plummets. People get bankrupt.

I believe April Fool's jokes have, in the past, screwed with stocks.

Re:April Fools Jokes get old.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703296)

Whats wrong with iPad, Apples' first foray into feminine hygiene products?

Re:April Fools Jokes get old.. (1)

hesaigo999ca (786966) | about 4 years ago | (#31702882)

Likewise, I too thought it was cool, when 1 in 5 was a joke, but now, it is way too many, I almost stopped reading /. altogether today because of it....and I really don't like giving up my /.

CmdrTaco, you are now officially retarded (0, Troll)

BitZtream (692029) | about 4 years ago | (#31702672)

Do you see anyone laughing in these posts? Do you not get the point yet? Do you even look at whats posted in comments? Is your plan to flood us with some much bullshit that we miss anything that might possibly be real?

It was old about 10 stores ago.

Re:CmdrTaco, you are now officially retarded (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702722)

God forbid people have fun for 1 day in the year. If it's so frustrating, wait till tomorrow when it all goes back to normal.

Re:CmdrTaco, you are now officially retarded (1)

MobileTatsu-NJG (946591) | about 4 years ago | (#31702826)

Do you even look at whats posted in comments?

Yes. They see their ad-counter spinning like mad $$$$ at twits like you bitching about it.

Re:CmdrTaco, you are now officially retarded (1)

twoallbeefpatties (615632) | about 4 years ago | (#31702920)

You would think people would have figured out how terrible /. was five years ago and moved on to more clever internet sites, like Fark. (Replying to remove a wrong moderation, bleah.)

Re:CmdrTaco, you are now officially retarded (1)

NeutronCowboy (896098) | about 4 years ago | (#31702898)

And yet, you post the same drivel multiple times in each story. Is your life so empty that you cannot stop reading Slashdot, even if you find it so dumb as to inflict physical pain on you?

Why don't editors have limits to the number of (1)

BitZtream (692029) | about 4 years ago | (#31702684)

posts they can make in one day?

I get cut off at some point for too much posting, why the fuck don't you bastards cut yourselves off for being retarded too?

A good Aperil Fools piece... (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702686)

...should have a surface vaneer of plausibility. This doesn't.

Re:A good Aperil Fools piece... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702762)

And propeer spellun to.

In the operator's defense (3, Funny)

Locke2005 (849178) | about 4 years ago | (#31702706)

They did say "From here those guys are so small, they look like ants!"

Re:In the operator's defense (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702808)

They did say "From here those guys are so small, they look like ants!"

lame

Re:In the operator's defense (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702832)

Say ... now I'M starting to feel kinda warm!

(thanks Gary Larson).

You may as well... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702708)

...just take the site down for one day ever year. It would save everyones time!

Not funny considering the audience (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702736)

This one might've been funny for a non-technical audien. but on slashdot?

Oh.. wait :)

Not remotely funny (0, Troll)

Gothmolly (148874) | about 4 years ago | (#31702742)

Guys, 1 or two sneak April 1 jokes is ok. Retarded non-stories is another. You aren't funny. Retire and pimp Apple products on a blog somewhere.

Re:Not remotely funny (1)

zero_out (1705074) | about 4 years ago | (#31702818)

At least some of the jokes made me groan in pain as they hurt my funny bone. This one is just so... mundane, and unclever. I just sighed at the stupidity of it.

Repetitive strain injury (1)

janwedekind (778872) | about 4 years ago | (#31702768)

My brain is getting repetitive strain injury from all this April fool jokes. If the next news is about the Ubuntu security update setting up a bot-net, I might just ignore it.

In BotNet Space: (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702790)

Giant magnifying glass launches N.A.S.A.

It's nice to know (1)

geekoid (135745) | about 4 years ago | (#31702800)

that NASA is finally going to defend us from a future of giant ant overlords.

I'm loving the 4/1 stuff, keep it comin'

I, for one (1)

sconeu (64226) | about 4 years ago | (#31702846)

Welcome our new insect-overlord-destroying overlords.

Seriously, something along the lines of your comment was the first thing I thought of when I saw the story.

Not sure what that makes me, but what the hell...

Yeah, I know it's April Fool's Day (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702810)

but everybody does these stupid stories and, well, they've kind of run their course. Let it go man, it stopped being funny in about 1982.

PS - SlashRoulette stinks too, because it's neither funny nor original. It's stalking for people too lazy to get out of their parent's basement.

WTF (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702850)

Ok, Here's the laydown

If you do an April fool after noon - you are the fool (note: CmdrTaco's 4pm posting and this link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Fools'_Day).
This whole fooling system doesn't work very well because there are at least 23 hours between one country and the next. Maybe use GMT as the basis?
Lastly, if you're going to do an April fools, make it funny and credible. My favourite gag was the valve modem :)

AC

my thoughts on this (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702896)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wY6insZjCfU

Re:my thoughts on this (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702968)

ok, now i watched the whole damn thing TWICE just to see if i missed something

i want my time back!

and my brain, if possible....

Enough! (1)

Beelzebud (1361137) | about 4 years ago | (#31702912)

When the entire site is nothing but "pranks", it sort of defeats the whole purpose of the day. Cya tomorrow slashdot.

burning sensation (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31702946)

See, ha! I told ya this burnin' sensation was not cuzza the whores.

Oh cmon (1)

Krakadoom (1407635) | about 4 years ago | (#31703030)

This would have been a lot funnier if it was even remotely realistic. How much would a 7.000.000 ft glass lens weigh anyway? Good luck getting a rocket big enough.

Dr. Bunsen Honeydew? (1)

Dahamma (304068) | about 4 years ago | (#31703082)

At least it's good to see Dr. Honeydew found a new job after the Muppet Show was cancelled...

So obvious! (1)

SadieJane (1575535) | about 4 years ago | (#31703686)

Just from the headline, I knew it was prank. And that was before I remembered today is April Fool Day. What is really funny about attempting to trick people? So they might look stupid .... and that would make you look smart? To whom?

Move it to L1 (1)

valderost (668593) | about 4 years ago | (#31703950)

The magnifying glass is scorching only the Western Hemisphere because it's been placed in a geosynchronous orbit. NASA is rumored to be preparing to reposition it to LaGrangian Point L1 to provide a greater degree of stability, provided that they can account for positional oscillation resulting from the moon revolving around the Earth. Meanwhile, the Smithsonian's National Air and Space Museum is preparing to return the Hubble Space Telescope's COSTAR lens to NASA for refurbishing and redeployment to correct LENS' focal length for its new location.

Aside from being able to put away our asbestos suits, another direct benefit of placement at L1 is a smaller footprint in the sky, letting more of the sun's light reach Earth.

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