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62 comments

April Fools (2, Informative)

Obble (1680532) | about 4 years ago | (#31703186)

This is another 1st April joke.

Re:April Fools (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703202)

that's tomorrow man...

Extreme Databasing (2, Insightful)

CuteSteveJobs (1343851) | about 4 years ago | (#31703752)

> This is another 1st April joke.

Thanks. Due to Time Zones and all it nearly got me!

But yeah: I wonder if NoSQL's success isn't due to people who think SQL is too hard to learn, much like Extreme Programming's success is due to people who want to code but not do the boring test and documentation part.

Re:Extreme Databasing (1)

thsths (31372) | about 4 years ago | (#31704874)

> Thanks. Due to Time Zones and all it nearly got me!

It's not just about time zones. Jokes have to be in the morning of the 1st of April, you have to make exactly 1, and they have to be funny. As a slashdot concession, you can just replace some value for funny, I guess, but the other rules stand!

Re:April Fools (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31704494)

Just like NoSQL

Re:April Fools (1)

pegdhcp (1158827) | about 4 years ago | (#31704608)

I hate 1st of April, I was going to have a seizure.... Anyway, I know that SQL is not the best query language around. I mean it is even open to debate if it is a language. But there are two features make it vital; It does the job and, there is a strong installed base, which provides enough programmer work force with experience...

Phew... (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703220)

About damn time!

Uh oh (1)

KlomDark (6370) | about 4 years ago | (#31703238)

Maybe they just got their funding cut from their parent company of the week and decided to go all out with everything since they know there won't be a next time. :(

// I recognise Rob with the guitar playing in that thing we're not supposed to talk about.

Re:Uh oh (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703342)

Maybe they just got their funding cut from their parent company of the week and decided to go all out with everything since they know there won't be a next time. :(

// I recognise Rob with the guitar playing in that thing we're not supposed to talk about.

Everyone knows that only a racist can post nigger jokes. Only a racist can decide not to take racial differences seriously and laugh at them. Yup, that's perfectly logical.

Trends (1)

jellomizer (103300) | about 4 years ago | (#31703240)

Granted I know this is an April Fools joke. But...
"PostgreSQL project is caving in to recent trends" How about the trend of Hand Made file IO that is on the rise too. Or other methods of storing data. The fact is that is a lot of programmers are idiots when programming in SQL and code it the wrong way where it ends up hindering their overall use.

Sure NoSQL has some advantages over SQL but it has its disadvantages too. It is a tool you can keep in you cap but I don't see why it needs to be replaced.

Re:Trends (1)

Luke Wilson (1626541) | about 4 years ago | (#31703348)

Funny thing is though, PostgreSQL have been meaning to drop the SQL from their name and go back to just Postgre. In every joke there is a little bit of truth.

Re:Trends (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703440)

> Funny thing is though, PostgreSQL has been meaning to drop the SQL from their name and go back to just Postgres.

FTFY

Re:Trends (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703446)

There's a little truth in every joke except the following:

Q: What is your mom?
A: A whore.

There's a *lot* of truth in that one.

What's really funny about the story is (1)

einhverfr (238914) | about 4 years ago | (#31703770)

1) QUEL is a relational query language (in some ways better than SQL and in some ways worse). Moving to QUEL would moving away from SQL without moving away from relational modelling.

2) Back in the day, Postgres didn't support SQL and only supported a dialect of QUEL called PostQUEL.

This is one of the best satires of the NoSQL movement I have read to date. If it doesn't give you an eerie retro feeling, you don't have enough background to get the jokes.

2 steps to the Singularity. (2, Interesting)

Singularity42 (1658297) | about 4 years ago | (#31703262)

No religion. No intellectual property.

Re:2 steps to the Singularity. (1)

religious freak (1005821) | about 4 years ago | (#31703356)

Why do you think a post singularity world would lack in either of those things?

(Offtopic, I know: I admit I enjoy the April Fool's stuff as a novelty once a year (esp the Chatroulette this year) but my brain is bored)

Re:2 steps to the Singularity. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703472)

From the point of view of us solidly pre-singularity humans, what would be the practical difference between a god, God, or some post-singularity entity? They're all capable of things that we can't imagine and could crush us like a bug if they so choose.

Re:2 steps to the Singularity. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31704034)

From the point of view of us solidly pre-singularity humans, what would be the practical difference between a god, God, or some post-singularity entity? They're all capable of things that we can't imagine and could crush us like a bug if they so choose.

Citation needed.

Cat my tongue (1)

patrikas (1704126) | about 4 years ago | (#31703264)

PostgreWTF, too many breaking news today (not only here), it is becoming difficult to distinguish 'serious' ones.. what's so serious in this world anyway.

Re:Cat my tongue (0, Troll)

tomhudson (43916) | about 4 years ago | (#31703308)

PostgreWTF, too many breaking news today (not only here), it is becoming difficult to distinguish 'serious' ones..

You mean like Novell To Buy MySQL From Oracle For $1.1B Cash And Stock [slushdot.com]

Novell today announced that it will pay Oracle Corp $500 million in cash and $550 million in stock to buy MySQL.

This is seen as a defensive tactic to fend off the hostile takeover bid from Elliott Associates LP, their third-largest shareholder.. A news release from the company said "This is the best long-term alternative to enhance stockholder value." Elliot Associates LP had previously offered $2 billion for Novell, an offer that was widely seen as a cash grab.

Not unless... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703288)

... Firebird goes NoSQL too...

Anonymous Coward (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703322)

Another PostgreSQL-related one:
http://andreas.scherbaum.la/blog/archives/657-PostgreSQL-9.0-Includes-the-new-MySQL-Emulation-Layer.html

Re:Anonymous Coward (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703346)

Which one is the "official" one?

Another one ... (3, Informative)

MaoTse (624765) | about 4 years ago | (#31703344)

Just one April Fools story should be enough.
We come here for content, you know ?

Re:Another one ... (2, Interesting)

rubycodez (864176) | about 4 years ago | (#31703354)

content? No, this is abuse by trolls under sensationalized headlines and duped stories...for content, you want wired.com or geek.com just down the net. stupid git.

Re:Another one ... (1)

Abstrackt (609015) | about 4 years ago | (#31703456)

content? No, this is abuse by trolls under sensationalized headlines and duped stories...for content, you want wired.com or geek.com just down the net. stupid git.

Whoops, I thought I was in room 12A!

Re:Another one ... (1)

einhverfr (238914) | about 4 years ago | (#31703816)

Nah, he was just expressing his dismay with his dcvs and wishing his project would move to bzr ;-) or even svn ;-)

"WHAT?!" (3, Insightful)

u0berdev (1038434) | about 4 years ago | (#31703352)

Man, this got me good. I literally yelled outloud, "WHAT?!" in my office as I read in disgust...

Re:"WHAT?!" (1)

pudknocker (516571) | about 4 years ago | (#31703442)

I shouldn't admit it, but it had me going for a minute, too. Now I know there is such a thing as QUEL, though.

Re:"WHAT?!" (1)

einhverfr (238914) | about 4 years ago | (#31703820)

Did you know that at first, Postgres supported QUEL (a dialect they called PostQUEL) instead of SQL?

Honestly a move to QUEL support wouldn't be so bad. It would mostly be problematic because of the additional learning curve.

Re:"WHAT?!" (1)

ipquickly (1562169) | about 4 years ago | (#31705270)

learning curve?

That's when you mention QUEL and I don't have the faintest idea what it is.

But it is nevertheless interesting [wikipedia.org] .

--
please excuse my ignorance

Re:"WHAT?!" (1)

einhverfr (238914) | about 4 years ago | (#31710402)

That's when you mention QUEL and I don't have the faintest idea what it is.

Yep. The NoSQL crowd seems to be unhappy with relational data management. The idea of PostgreSQL going NoSQL by moving back to QUEL is one of the funniest jokes I have seen in a long time. And most people didn't get it because they don't know what QUEL is......

I have never worked with QUEL but it seems that there are only a few things that need fixing with it to make it a very, very nice (near perfect) relational db interface language.

Is this april 1 bullshit going to go on all day? (-1, Troll)

lena_10326 (1100441) | about 4 years ago | (#31703378)

One or two bogus articles fine. All day? What the fuck. Grow up slashdorks.

Re:Is this april 1 bullshit going to go on all day (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703468)

no u

Re:Is this april 1 bullshit going to go on all day (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703876)

Let's see - it's April 1 all day. At least I think that's how it works. Some of us wait all year for this shit. Go get a life for the day if you have keyboard stuck up your ass. I remember a time when ALL /. stories would be bogus on April Fool's. Admit it - you're whining because you're afraid you won't be able to figure out which is which! Go suck on your thumb until you grow up enough to not cry bloody hell when people try to have a little fun. Or maybe you whine like that every day - and we just get to hear about it because we're special.

I really don't care either way, but if it bothers you, maybe you could STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER FOR A DAY?!?!? Quit bitching at the rest of us for not living life your way.

Re:Is this april 1 bullshit going to go on all day (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31704072)

I remember when some April Fools stories were bogus and it was very difficult to tell which were true and which were not. Expecting every story to be an April Fools joke kind of takes the fun out of it.

Re:Is this april 1 bullshit going to go on all day (1)

ultranova (717540) | about 4 years ago | (#31705160)

I remember a time when ALL /. stories would be bogus on April Fool's.

So how is that different from any other day?

Fuck that god damned shit (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31703380)

Assholes. Now I have to hack at adblock to remove your access.

MySQL emulation in PostgreSQL 9.0 (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31704096)

Here is the REAL news:

http://andreas.scherbaum.la/blog/archives/657-PostgreSQL-9.0-Includes-the-new-MySQL-Emulation-Layer.html

Too bad... (1)

persicom (136940) | about 4 years ago | (#31704124)

that this is a joke. In 1987, I graduated Cooper Union, I worked at Citibank in Funds Transfer and I was programming in QUEL on a Commercial Ingres system. Having learned both relational algebra and calculus in school, I was pleased to be able to use the more expressive calculus. Alas, it was not meant to be. Citi started cutting over to Oracle. In then left. A few years (and jobs) later I started working with Sybase. In SQL. It took me weeks to understand how to use the algebra again. We'd go a long way if this post were NOT a joke.

you had me, because I am an sql dummy (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31704130)

I thought for a second that it was true, and I was thinking "wow they think they can re-do all they've done over the years in just a matter of a year or so? " .

Re:you had me, because I am an sql dummy (1)

einhverfr (238914) | about 4 years ago | (#31704646)

It wouldn't be that bad. The old versions of Postgres actually used QUEL so I would expect they would go back to Postgres95 then see what needed to be done to map the new syntax into the planning trees. Honestly a QUEL module would be pretty cool.

I would settle for a PL/PGQUEL module though.

Summary misses the whole joke (4, Informative)

kabloom (755503) | about 4 years ago | (#31704136)

The summary here misses the whole joke.

Way back when, there was a relational database named Postgres that used a query language called QUEL. As SQL caught on, they had to support it, so they replaced the QUEL support with SQL support and renamed the database PostgreSQL. This is the database that we use today.

The whole joke is that they're going retro.

(Anyone who actually wants to try out an implementation of QUEL can use Ingres, which is also open source now.)

SQL sucks so good riddance! (1)

dgallard (64808) | about 4 years ago | (#31704572)

SQL has always sucked.

It is so good to hear that all major SQL projects are dropping the SQL language.

Unprofessional (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31705616)

This is the kind of thing that makes April 1 a very annoying day. You'll notice there's no retraction today. Communicating badly and then acting smug when you're misunderstood is NOT clever.

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