×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

Woman Tells State Judiciary Committee, "DoD Implanted A Microchip Inside Me"

samzenpus posted about 4 years ago | from the out-of-the-woodwork dept.

Government 222

The Georgia House Judiciary Committee took up a bill that would "prohibit requiring a person to be implanted with a microchip," and would make violating the ban a misdemeanor. Things started to get weird at the hearing when a woman who described herself as a resident of DeKalb County told the committee, "I'm also one of the people in Georgia who has a microchip." Not sure of what she was trying to say, she was allowed to continue and added, "Microchips are like little beepers. Just imagine, if you will, having a beeper in your rectum or genital area, the most sensitive area of your body. And your beeper numbers displayed on billboards throughout the city. All done without your permission." Further prodding revealed that the woman's co-workers would torture her by activating the chips with their cell phones and that the chips were implanted by "researchers with the federal government." The committee thanked the woman for her input, and later approved the bill.

cancel ×
This is a preview of your comment

No Comment Title Entered

Anonymous Coward 1 minute ago

No Comment Entered

222 comments

Well doy (3, Funny)

Pojut (1027544) | about 4 years ago | (#31925122)

Of course they did...look at that little "microchip"! Can you say mini-dildo? Because I can.

Re:Well doy (1)

kiehlster (844523) | about 4 years ago | (#31925730)

If that were true, I'd imagine these things would work wonders on raising company morale on handling after-hours support calls or server outages. They'd take down the servers just to get another hit. Hm... Maybe that's a bad idea.

We need a new subsidy (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31925176)

Every American should have a right to a tinfoil hat.

Re:We need a new subsidy (1)

KingSkippus (799657) | about 4 years ago | (#31925398)

Every American should have a right to a tinfoil hat.

Sounds like in this case, that's not the body part that needs to be wrapped in tinfoil.

Vote for best sentence in summary (4, Funny)

dbcad7 (771464) | about 4 years ago | (#31925194)

The committee thanked the woman for her input,

Re:Vote for best sentence in summary (1)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | about 4 years ago | (#31925862)

The committee thanked the woman for her input,

... and then asked her if they could have some of whatever it was that she was smoking.

Just imagine, if you will, having a beeper in your rectum or genital area, the most sensitive area of your body.

I think that I'll opt out from everything you said after "imagine" . . . Let's just skip that part.

Further prodding revealed that the woman's co-workers would torture her by activating the chips with their cell phones . . .

M'kay . . .

. . . and that the chips were implanted by "researchers with the federal government."

Finally! My tax dollars going toward something useful! To think that we could get some honest work out of government researchers!"

er.. (3, Insightful)

mewt (1057562) | about 4 years ago | (#31925216)

Wait WHAT ?

Read the bill (2)

Shivetya (243324) | about 4 years ago | (#31925764)

http://www.legis.state.ga.us/legis/2009_10/versions/sb235_As_passed_Senate_5.htm [state.ga.us]

it is very self explanatory.

No one, one any condition, meaning employers too, can force you into an implant.

Frankly I am all for restrictions being codified in law

Re:Read the bill (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31926130)

I agree. It is probable that someone intentionally setup this senator and woman (even if they don't realize they were manipulated) to make us all think that people afraid of implants are paranoid and crazy as a step towards a national identification system (even if only under the auspices of needing to identify people for a nation-provided health system, which could be next, even though they won't make it that far that soon). There are other more valid reasons not to have chip implants, like information emitted by/stored in those implants being misused by those with malintent- not necessarily even the gov't misusing the info- more likely by crimals.

Re:Read the bill (1)

pushing-robot (1037830) | about 4 years ago | (#31926448)

No one, one any condition, meaning employers too, can force you into an implant.

That's a relief; I heard it was common practice in Soviet Russia.

Re:Read the bill (1)

suomynonAyletamitlU (1618513) | about 4 years ago | (#31927066)

No, no, in Soviet Russia, the chip implants YOU into the GOVERNMENT.

Re:Read the bill (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31927618)

That's insightful as they did envision a computer system to run the whole Union one day. That was at the time they thought one can plan an economy.

Re:Read the bill (1)

sheph (955019) | about 4 years ago | (#31926920)

Right. Because laws never get changed to stop terrorism, combat pirates, prevent identity theft, etc.

The problem... (4, Insightful)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | about 4 years ago | (#31925226)

Is that while the woman in question is almost definitely out to lunch, and could probably use some psych help, the notion that somebody would implant a microchip in you has gone from "automatically crazy" to "must be dismissed as crazy based on the specific facts of the case".

Welcome to the future.

Re:The problem... (2, Interesting)

eggoeater (704775) | about 4 years ago | (#31925966)

She absolutely needs psych help; a LOT of paranoia here, not just re. the government planting the chip, but thinking her coworkers were torturing her.
My wife use to work at a university insect ID lab and got a LOT of "samples" (ie. fuzz, lint, or just an empty bottle) from people with delusional parasitosis. This woman has the same thing, only a little more high-tech.

Re:The problem... (3, Insightful)

fearlezz (594718) | about 4 years ago | (#31926154)

Being paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.

Re:The problem... (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31926348)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/On_the_Origin_of_the_%22Influencing_Machine%22_in_Schizophrenia

Re:The problem... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31927110)

Oh, but we are. :)

Re:The problem... (1)

Muad'Dave (255648) | about 4 years ago | (#31926696)

She's investigated Morgellon's [wikipedia.org] ? How cool - I've always thought Morgellon's was an interesting experiment in people's beliefs vs the medical establishment.

As a resident of Dekalb county... (5, Funny)

sacremon (244448) | about 4 years ago | (#31925232)

...it was probably CDC, not the DoD, that did it. CDC is based in a neighboring county (Fulton) and has offices in Dekalb. Definitely not county officials, though. The county police just shoot people.

Re:As a resident of Dekalb county... (1)

zero_out (1705074) | about 4 years ago | (#31925394)

It was probably her imagination, not reality, that did it. Imagination is based in a person's brain, and snuck into her consciousness. Definitely not reality, though. Reality is actually scarier than her imagination.

Re:As a resident of Dekalb county... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31925896)

Then why does she beep every time she goes through airport scanners?
They must have inserted it when they were putting that plate in her head after a severe head injury.

oh hang on...

Re:As a resident of Dekalb county... (1)

Zantac69 (1331461) | about 4 years ago | (#31927108)

/laughs - I was about to post "As a resident of Georgia, it is unfortunate how the people from Georgia that should not get press time...always seem to get the press time."

A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (4, Insightful)

Prien715 (251944) | about 4 years ago | (#31925234)

Driving home after two beers or smoking the wrong plant is a more serious crime than planning on sticking a microchip under someone's skin for the explicit purpose of tracking them.

Weird priorities.

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (0, Offtopic)

dave420 (699308) | about 4 years ago | (#31925414)

Well, if you drive drunk you're likely to kill someone. As for the wrong plant, I totally agree.

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31925760)

Two beers isn't drunk. And no, you're not "likely" to kill someone. "Likely" means better than 50% chance which not even MADD claims. Two beers is slightly more dangerous than sober, but less dangerous than being drunk or texting.

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (0, Offtopic)

X0563511 (793323) | about 4 years ago | (#31926790)

Have you seen the way some people drive? Lowest common denominator, here... any imparement puts you well into the 'likely' zone :P

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (1)

Lesrahpem (687242) | about 4 years ago | (#31927212)

Well, if you drive drunk you're likely to kill someone. As for the wrong plant, I totally agree.

If you implant microchips in someone's rectum and genitals I think that might be some form of rape or sexual harassment. Especially if you are smoking the wrong plant and drinking two beers while doing so.

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (2, Insightful)

HarrySquatter (1698416) | about 4 years ago | (#31925744)

What's weird about it? Driving drunk has the potential of the drunk person maiming and/or killing other drivers. Implanting a microchip in someone is a non-violent crime with no potential for the maiming or killing of others. It seems pretty clear to me that the former should be punished harsher than the latter.

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (1)

Fallen Kell (165468) | about 4 years ago | (#31926260)

It is "non-violent" in the sense that the cutting of human flesh and insertion of a foreign body into that flesh is non-violent.... Oh wait, isn't that the same thing that a bullet does, or knife?

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (1)

DarkOx (621550) | about 4 years ago | (#31926324)

Focibly violating someones body to install a microchip is a nonviolent crime? I think you should re-examine your how you have defined violence.

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (1)

Lesrahpem (687242) | about 4 years ago | (#31927262)

and in the specific case of this article a woman's rectum and genitals were violated by The Smoking Man and his henchman so the alien's disguised as co-workers could torment her all day. This must be stopped!

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (1)

EvilGrin5000 (951851) | about 4 years ago | (#31926578)

I agree with what you said. FYI though, I am not a lawyer, but I know that:
You cannot talk about "potential" in legal talk. My favourite way to make a simple argument against the word "potential" is that each sperm has the "potential" to become a human being, therefore, every time a man masturbates, they commit genocide.
What you can talk about, though, is probable foreseeable future based on specific conditions, "Likely" is another term...
If you are driving drunk, you have a probable foreseeable future of killing someone due to the effects of alcohol etc...
If you have a microchip implanted in you, there is no known effect on your reactions/judgments parallel to alcohol to be considered for a probable foreseeable future of killing someone
=====
On the other hand, implanting a chip in someone has the probable foreseeable future of massive invasion of privacy amongst other questionably ethical motives.
I know that someone will come along and say "What if the guy is a pedophile? Shouldn't we know where he is at all times?" which is a clusterfuck of an argument that deals with a person's rights and privileges and how a society distinguishes between the two and how said society wants to remove a right and/or privilege from someone based on criminal acts. Not to mention how the penitentiary system has the responsibility to rehabilitate someone into society.
I don't even know where to start.

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31927372)

Driving drunk (if two beers qualifies) has the potential of maiming the person driving and/or other people. By definition, implanting a microchip into someone is more than a potential maiming, it's actual maiming.

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31927518)

Smoking weed = Harmless
Drink Driving = Stupid/Dangerous
Mandatory Microchipping = SLAVERY

Hell yeah this much worse. The only response to tyranny is fighting back.

wethepeoplewillnotbechipped.com [wethepeopl...hipped.com]

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31927628)

And what about the wrong plant thing?

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (2, Insightful)

Kozz (7764) | about 4 years ago | (#31926126)

Driving home after two beers or smoking the wrong plant is a more serious crime than planning on sticking a microchip under someone's skin for the explicit purpose of tracking them.

Weird priorities.

If you begin comparing crimes, their offense to society or individuals, and then the manner in which those convicted are prosecuted and punished, you're headed down a very long, confusing road. Who should be punished more severely, a rapist or a murderer? OK, what if instead of a murder, it was white collar crime, embezzling $5 million USD. Okay, what about 500 million. OK, what about retirement accounts of millions across the nation? OK, but what if the rapist actually [unimaginable details]...

driving home after two beers or a weird plant (-1, Flamebait)

circletimessquare (444983) | about 4 years ago | (#31926420)

increases your chances of killing me on the road

so yeah: you deserve to be locked up and have the key thrown away, asshole

why do you think that drunk/ stoned driving is anything but a very serious crime that deserves harsh punishment?

you need a serious attitude readjustment before you kill someone, you fucking ignorant twatstain

Writing the first part of my (0, Redundant)

X0563511 (793323) | about 4 years ago | (#31926828)

post in the subject makes me look like a douchebag.

You don't do that when you write an email or a forum thread, do you?

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (1)

CogDissident (951207) | about 4 years ago | (#31926532)

You could shoot someone in the street and it would be less of a crime, actually. Manslaughter carries a very low penalty comparatively.

Re:A Misdemeanor? Seriously? (1)

hondo77 (324058) | about 4 years ago | (#31927284)

That's because, unlike the former two, the latter one is not a problem affecting anyone (sane).

What did she do to get to that point, we can learn (2, Insightful)

plasmacutter (901737) | about 4 years ago | (#31925242)

This proves that the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

This woman must be doing something right for them to write up a bill specifically for HER to get her to "stfu and gtfo already" about the government planting chips in her body.

I can just see it now "thank you, ok aye votes? motion passed" *she leaves the floor* *some legislators laugh into their sleeves* "NOW, on to real issues".

And we let these "people" vote. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31925248)

Hopefully the SECRET GOVERNMENT CHIP sterilized her.

Perhaps one day we can get 138th trimester abortion legalized.

Georgia will be a safe haven after the Rapture (5, Interesting)

BadAnalogyGuy (945258) | about 4 years ago | (#31925262)

Christian eschatology declares that the End Times will see a split of the human race into faithful and the non-believers. The faithful will not take the "Mark of the Beast" and will suffer economically because of it. By rejecting the MotB, they will be excluded from all transactions and be essentially outcasts from the new society.

However, because of their steadfastness, they will not be condemned to hell upon the second coming of Jesus. Those who take the Mark will be torn asunder and cast into the pits of hell.

Many believe that the MotB is or will be something similar to this type of microchip implant. By grafting the mark to a person, any transaction can be monitored and tracked. This is one of the methods of governmental control via the MotB.

This lady was clearly insane. But there are MANY people out there who believe in exactly what I wrote above. These are your neighbors, Americans.

Re:Georgia will be a safe haven after the Rapture (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31925708)

We need a +1 Paranoid mod.

Just adapt the preterist [wikipedia.org] interpretation of the Book of Revelation and you'll be fine.

Re:Georgia will be a safe haven after the Rapture (4, Insightful)

Bakkster (1529253) | about 4 years ago | (#31925998)

Just adapt the preterist [wikipedia.org] interpretation of the Book of Revelation and you'll be fine.

Shouldn't a religious interpretation be based on what you believe the applicable holy book actually says, not what you want it to mean? The 'just interpret it like this' method is what brings us Muslim terrorism and the Westboro Baptist Church's "God Hates Fags" go-out-and-protest-a-funeral tactics.

Personally, I find the preterist view fails to explain many bits, not least of which was the mark of the beast. When were Jews forced to receive a phyiscal marking in order to perform commerce?

Re:Georgia will be a safe haven after the Rapture (1)

Vintermann (400722) | about 4 years ago | (#31926352)

Wot? Westboro baptist and co. would be the first to claim that they "just believe what it says" without interpreting it. You see the same in legal interpretation: the most nutty claim that they're not interpreting the law at all, just reading what it says.

Re:Georgia will be a safe haven after the Rapture (1)

Bakkster (1529253) | about 4 years ago | (#31927052)

Right, but despite what they say that's exactly what's happening.

Regardless, my intent was to point out that no good can come from interpreting a religious text differently because it made something more convenient or to further one's own purposes. Why promote an interpretation for a reason other than its truth?

Re:Georgia will be a safe haven after the Rapture (2, Informative)

DerekLyons (302214) | about 4 years ago | (#31926842)

Many believe that the MotB is or will be something similar to this type of microchip implant.

And before the invention of the microchip, it was barcodes. Before barcodes, it was tatoos...

RE: (2, Insightful)

D'Sphitz (699604) | about 4 years ago | (#31925272)

Thank goodness our lawmakers are tackling these important non-existent problems, and exploiting mentally ill people to make their case. I feel safer.

Re: (3, Funny)

Dunbal (464142) | about 4 years ago | (#31925428)

Thank goodness our lawmakers are tackling these important non-existent problems

      Surely this is as important an issue as the fact that the island of Guam might tip over [youtube.com] ...

I did imagine that, in fact! (1)

pietros (1062744) | about 4 years ago | (#31925278)

I was actually thinking about patenting this idea, (True story), now I suppose I can't anymore. In any case: " imagine, if you will, having a beeper in your rectum or genital area, the most sensitive area of your body. And your beeper numbers displayed on billboards throughout the city." sounds like fun to me! In any case true or not, we are going to have things like this soon enough. Not implanted, but self implanted. The whole point is to have ways in which you can receive informations directly into your body (literally), and connecting it with anything you want.

She might not have like it... (1)

Montezumaa (1674080) | about 4 years ago | (#31925310)

...but that sounds pretty damned awesome to me. I would love to have a device in me that a tickles me in my happy places. Oh, maybe she is worried the cell towers are watching her and the paint on stop signs are telling her to do "bad things"(a man told me this story in Georgia...hmm, seeing a pattern?). There are some messed up people here in Georgia.

It wasn't the DoD... It was Aliens! (5, Funny)

gront (594175) | about 4 years ago | (#31925382)

Everyone knows vaginal-rectal tracking is Martian territory, not the Department of Defense. The taint is pure red planet; DoD has an oral fixation. Doesn't anyone research these things?

Just proves that they are educated evil and too stupid smart to understand implanted tracking devices and timecubes.

The ARMY has this now and AIRFORCE as well (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31925600)

and they use it to cdwadags.

Re:It wasn't the DoD... It was Aliens! (4, Funny)

Mindcontrolled (1388007) | about 4 years ago | (#31925672)

Everybody knows, eh? God, another one who swallowed Their propaganda hook, line and sinker. Listen, I keep it short, because I gotta change location soon - here is some advice: The conspiracy you read about, and especially, the conspiracy everybody knows, is not The True Conspiracy. It is propaganda planted by Them, things They want you to believe. I can't go into detail, this is not a secure line. But look at what the known conspiracies do NOT have in common. That is the path to The Truth. You can kiss your quiet life goodbye if you find out, though, maybe your life as such. Gotta go, been here too long already. THINK!

Re:It wasn't the DoD... It was Aliens! (1)

ArcCoyote (634356) | about 4 years ago | (#31926274)

fnord

Re:It wasn't the DoD... It was Aliens! (3, Funny)

Mindcontrolled (1388007) | about 4 years ago | (#31926370)

Two people posting "fnord" at exactly the same time? I knew I have been staying on the same computer too long... Nice try, but you won't get me. At least I won't go down quietly, you hear that??

Re:It wasn't the DoD... It was Aliens! (1)

JM78 (1042206) | about 4 years ago | (#31926752)

Ever consider the DoD may have been infiltrated by vagina/rectal-track-happy Martian's? Perhaps a change toward Martian's in government control is a positive thing? Just a thought...

Move along. Nothing to see here. (1)

TheScreenIsnt (939701) | about 4 years ago | (#31925500)

So, someone goofed and let a delusional person speak in a public forum on a topic related to her delusion. There's nothing to do here but make fun of people who suffer from delusions, or make fun of Georgian legislators: neither news for nerds nor stuff that matters.

light reading (1)

drfireman (101623) | about 4 years ago | (#31925556)

Increasingly often, I can't remember if I'm reading a legitimate news source or the Onion.

Re:light reading (1)

gstoddart (321705) | about 4 years ago | (#31926106)

Increasingly often, I can't remember if I'm reading a legitimate news source or the Onion.

Well, while Slashdot has always been entertaining, and occasionally even factual, I'm not sure it was ever a 'legitimate news source' -- that's part of its charm.

Of course, increasingly, mainstream news sounds like the Onion from time to time. :-P

Cheers

Aliens micro chipped me. (1)

madshot (621087) | about 4 years ago | (#31925564)

Aliens micro chipped me and all I got was this chip and a lousy T-Shirt.

Re:Aliens micro chipped me. (1)

nextekcarl (1402899) | about 4 years ago | (#31926086)

Well, that and the microchip.

Re:Aliens micro chipped me. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31927346)

Aliens micro chipped me and all I got was this chip and a lousy T-Shirt.

Well, that and the microchip.

Yes, this chip, a lousy t-shirt, and the microchip. Well spotted there.

Re:Aliens micro chipped me. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31926522)

Lucky you. I got gonorrhea.

I live in Dekalb County GA. (1)

3seas (184403) | about 4 years ago | (#31925656)

I had a chip put in my pet cat.

But I have one too, only its not by any humans.
How else is alien god gonna find me and others when the shit starts hitting the fan in 2012?

Some of us have a ticket to leave and miss the shit.

Guess such tracking devices can be used for good things too.

Re:I live in Dekalb County GA. (1)

Kozar_The_Malignant (738483) | about 4 years ago | (#31926318)

Is Dekalb still a dry county? That may explain this. :-)

Re:I live in Dekalb County GA. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31926678)

Is Dekalb still a dry county? That may explain this. :-)

Ummm... no. According to wikipedia [wikipedia.org] , Dekalb County "is the second-most-affluent county with an African-American majority in the United States, behind Prince George's County, Maryland in suburban Washington D.C. and Baltimore". I'm from there originally and I guarantee you it is not dry. It encompasses a lot of metro Atlanta and has >700,000 people living there. It's not rural Georgia. It's 54% black and 35% white. The median family income is $54k and that's including tens of thousands of poor people who live closer to downtown Atlanta.

The lady is simply delusional. Doesn't matter that she's from Dekalb.

Only a misdemeanor? (1)

JustNiz (692889) | about 4 years ago | (#31925676)

Its only a misdemeanour? Wow I bet that has the CIA/police/government quaking in their boots. Laughing that is.

How is violating someones body with a microchip much different from rape? It should get the same penalty.

Nutbars and Oddballs Come Out of the Woodwork (1, Insightful)

Tisha_AH (600987) | about 4 years ago | (#31925678)

While I emphasize to this woman's predicament, possible mental illness and/or delusional state I find it difficult to correlate her story to the eventual decision by the legislature to pass the bill.

It would be like someone petitioning against Reynolds Aluminum because they profit from aluminum foil sales. "It is all a vast conspiracy, I have to wear this aluminum hat to keep the mind control rays from Planet #10 under control."

There are wack-jobs on any side of any issue you can imagine. It was unfortunate that they did not screen this one out of the proceedings.

Re:Nutbars and Oddballs Come Out of the Woodwork (1)

NeoSkandranon (515696) | about 4 years ago | (#31925898)

Perhaps I'm just cynical but I don't necessarily believe her inclusion was an accident.

That someone would use a delusional/mentally ill person to further a legislative effort creeps me out almost as much as the idea that people in such a state aren't getting help for their problems.

mod 3o3n (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31925872)

we get there with channel, you might But I'd rather hear nned to join the and as BSD sinks comprehensive parties, but here of its core Are the important

Frito-Lay implanted a chip in me... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31925886)

...this morning. Actually a whole bag full of chips. Could not stop after only one.

Pet Chips (1)

Kozar_The_Malignant (738483) | about 4 years ago | (#31926044)

How many of us have microchips in our pets, in case they get lost? How many of us have them in our children for the same reason?

Re:Pet Chips (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#31926304)

Do these chips also help you if you get lost ?
If so, it sounds way more fun than GPS.

absolutely true story: (5, Funny)

circletimessquare (444983) | about 4 years ago | (#31926160)

there was a little old lady who used to stand on 42nd street and eighth avenue handing out little pamphlets about how the devil was always trying to corrupt you via external means (i love picking up religious literature from the kooks in times square to analyze their words for entertainment value: reference timecube.com). according to her screed, one way was by putting a microchip in a grain of rice you would eat, another way from a stranger shaking your hand in such a way that 666 would be formed in the curl of their fingers, evil eyes, etc.

anyway, one day on the way to the port authority bus terminal i went into a store right near the little old lady to get a yogurt and a can of diet soda. the total came to $3.34, and i gave him a $10. the guy was insistent on me taking my receipt. i went outside and thought i would take another pamphlet from the old lady to see if she had updated her shpiel. randomly and without intent, i gave her my receipt as i took her pamphlet

my receipt that said $10 minus $3.34 change: $6.66

i never saw that little old lady again

coincidence? or was i AN UNWITTING TOOL OF THE DEVIL

absolutely true story

Re:absolutely true story: (1)

perryizgr8 (1370173) | about 4 years ago | (#31927478)

i believe you ARE the devil. The sum of Your /. Id digits is nine. And what is nine turned upside down, eh??? Yes, it is 6. And your post number is 66. So what does it amount to? 666. You, my dear sir, are really an unwittting tool of the devil.

Not necessarily a wack-job... (4, Interesting)

jddj (1085169) | about 4 years ago | (#31926480)

This woman sounds pretty nuts.

That said, I've got a colleague, ex-military, NOT a crank, who says the US Army implanted a glass-tube into his hand much like the one pictured - without his knowledge or consent. It was implanted while he was out during an unrelated surgery.

The implanted tube irritated him enough that he was regularly scratching it, and he eventually dug it out of his skin - and was surprised to see the foreign object.

The same guy has never spouted any nutty theories to me, never was paranoid about being tracked - just mentioned this experience.

For my part, I figured it was the Army experimenting with ways to inventory their humans, and maybe to posthumously ID them.

Re:Not necessarily a wack-job... (2, Informative)

vlm (69642) | about 4 years ago | (#31926774)

US Army implanted a glass-tube into his hand

Sure it wasn't a METAL tube like a piece of broken off IV needle? You even mentioned he was in for surgery.

Also, bone particles? Every couple years for a decade or two, a tiny little shard of bone from a broken molar extraction works its way to the surface of the skin of my mouth, makes a little pimple, hurts for about a day, pops out, and its gone. We're talking tiny little pieces of bone here, like the ball on the end of a ball point pen.

Finally, your hand is semi-translucent. Hold it up in front of a bright lamp and you'll see what I mean. Also they have a tendency to be blown off in explosions and generally smacked around. I'm not thinking hand would be location choice #1 for an implant, although I suppose it depends on the application.

Re:Not necessarily a wack-job... (1)

blincoln (592401) | about 4 years ago | (#31927022)

For my part, I figured it was the Army experimenting with ways to inventory their humans, and maybe to posthumously ID them.

FWIW (which may not be much), I have a barcode tattooed on my arm, and someone who saw it once told me that her son was in the US Army's Special Forces, and they'd been considering using barcode tattoos instead of dog tags, but decided implanted chips were better (which isn't hard, given how long it takes to give someone a barcode tattoo, especially in a way that will remain machine-readable).

I'd be a little surprised if they'd done it without informing the soldiers, though.

Re:Not necessarily a wack-job... (1)

longfalcon (202977) | about 4 years ago | (#31927420)

do you think a skin tattoo or glass chip under the skin will still be visible/readable after the body is burned or mutilated? this is as opposed to the current dog tags which are cheaper and more resilient.

Applied to the skin? (2, Interesting)

vlm (69642) | about 4 years ago | (#31926612)

Unlike most slashdotters I actually read the bill as passed.

What does this mean?

'Implant' includes any means intended to introduce a microchip .... or applied to the skin of a person.

http://www.legis.state.ga.us/legis/2009_10/versions/sb235_As_passed_Senate_5.htm [state.ga.us]

Do they mean something really weird like superglueing a passkey/ibutton to your skin? That's a new one I've never even heard of, and I've been interested in this general area of research for a long time (not for paranoid reasons, but more for medical and UI reasons)

'Microchip' means any ... electronically readable marking,

Ah, so no barcodes, no "mark of the beast" in GA etc. Technically a tattoo parlor inking a bar code would be "implanting a microchip" according to this bizarre law.

Such term shall not include pacemakers.

And there's the out. You'll get all the implants they want, just with a pacemaker feature that is not enabled.

ok... (1)

MickyTheIdiot (1032226) | about 4 years ago | (#31926616)

Hey lady, no one cares or even wants to THINK about you having sex.

Maybe those numbers on the billboards are simply the number of slaps on the back of your head you need.

I hope the guy who scouted her to talk to the committee got fired.

What poor taste. (1)

GrifterCC (673360) | about 4 years ago | (#31927434)

Seriously, is this the sort of thing a website for scientifically minded humanists posts as a humor column?

This poor woman is evidently paranoid schizophrenic, and Samzenpus has taken it upon himself to make fun of HER (for being chemically delusional) instead of the legislature.

My "firesamzenpus" tag is half in jest, usually, but this post is just beyond the pale.
Load More Comments
Slashdot Account

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?

Don't worry, we never post anything without your permission.

Submission Text Formatting Tips

We support a small subset of HTML, namely these tags:

  • b
  • i
  • p
  • br
  • a
  • ol
  • ul
  • li
  • dl
  • dt
  • dd
  • em
  • strong
  • tt
  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>
Sign up for Slashdot Newsletters
Create a Slashdot Account

Loading...