Russian Officials To Investigate Regional President's Alien Abduction Claims 184
wdef writes "The BBC reports that a Russian MP has asked President Dmitry Medvedev to investigate claims by a regional president that he has met aliens on board a spaceship. Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the leader of the southern region of Kalymkia, made his claim in a television interview. Mr Ilyumzhinov said in an interview on primetime television that he had been taken on board an alien spaceship which had come to planet Earth to take samples — and claims to have several witnesses. He has been president of Kalmykia, a small Buddhist region of Russia which lies on the shores of the Caspian Sea, for 17 years. As president of the World Chess Federation, he has spent tens of millions of dollars turning the impoverished republic into a mecca for chess players — building an entire village to host international tournaments. MP Andre Lebedev is not just asking whether Mr Ilyumzhinov is fit to govern. He is also concerned that, if he was abducted, he may have revealed details about his job and state secrets."
It's Always the Chess Players (Score:5, Funny)
Tomorrow we'll find out Kasparov has invented a "free energy" machine and historians have found a volume of letters from Paul Morphy claiming he controlled the moon.
Re:It's Always the Chess Players (Score:5, Funny)
It's no different than a footballer or hockey player that has a broken body later on in life. Chess players use their minds like footballers and hockey players use their body.
Re:It's Always the Chess Players (Score:5, Funny)
Congrats, that's the dumbest thing I've read this week.
Re:It's Always the Chess Players (Score:5, Funny)
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Congrats, that's the dumbest thing I've read this week.
So you're saying this is the only thing you've read on Slashdot this week.
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Congrats, that's the dumbest thing I've read this week.
So you're saying this is the only thing you've read on Slashdot this week.
Maybe he reads at +5 and doesn't enjoy the privilege of reading the gay niggers association of america as often as the rest of us?
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The fact that has been modded up as insightful is the most shameful thing I've seen on slashdot.
Re:It's Always the Chess Players (Score:5, Informative)
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Re:It's Always the Chess Players (Score:5, Funny)
Insightful? Seriously?
Are the modders out of their fricking minds?
They've probably played too much chess, or something.
I don't think it works that way, though (Score:5, Insightful)
I don't think it works that way, though. There isn't evidence that using one's brain too much can cause the same kind of damage as pulling a muscle or twisting a knee does in more physical sports. On the contrary, there is a ton of evidence by now that it can actually delay the onset of the various forms of neuro-degeneration in the old age.
But it may be that you already have to be not entirely normal up there in the first place to make it that far in chess.
Re:I don't think it works that way, though (Score:5, Funny)
I don't think it works that way, though. There isn't evidence that using one's brain too much can cause the same kind of damage as pulling a muscle or twisting a knee does in more physical sports. On the contrary, there is a ton of evidence by now that it can actually delay the onset of the various forms of neuro-degeneration in the old age.
But it may be that you already have to be not entirely normal up there in the first place to make it that far in chess.
I was going to give this detailed retort, countering each and every one of your points, but I bruised my brain in the attempt. According to the examining physician, I may never think again...
Re:I don't think it works that way, though (Score:5, Funny)
According to the examining physician, I may never think again...
I know a site where you'll fit right in. [fark.com]
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Actually, I thought he fit in here just fine.
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You must be new here (in senseofhumourland)
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Chess may be a bit too single track to make a significant impact on socially perceivable neural degeneration either way;
Still, the nature of the game might make it somewhat appealing to autism-spectrum affected personalities. A predisposition that would also match up fairly well with the, eh, eccentric behaviour of some well known players.
Re:I don't think it works that way, though (Score:4, Informative)
Actually, overuse of neurons can cause them to inflame and die. That's one of the major causes of Alzheimer's.
Um ... no, it's not.
Scientists are still trying to find the exact cause, but nothing has linked it to "overuse" of neurons. If anything, there is some evidence that mental stimulation could hold off or slow the progress of the disease.
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Given the fact that we know what alzheimer itself is, the cause of this can never actually be overused neurons. Exercising the brain will only make connections stronger and harder to die off.
I any case, this aint rocket science, unless you are an idiot. What is the actualy cause that sets it in motion is not at all scientifically proven so we should, by default, stay away from claims...
Congratulations (Score:2)
Prejudice confirms prejudice? (Score:3, Informative)
Actually, there is no evidence I'm aware of that programmers actually get worse with age. Or any other brain jobm, for that matter. The earliest peak I've seen in actual statistics curves is at 35 for scientific inventions, _but_, here's the important part, it doesn't mean it drops to zero afterwards or anything. The bell curve still has a ways to go. Only around the mid-50's it actually became "only" as high as when fresh out of college. In other d
Re:It's Always the Chess Players (Score:5, Funny)
Sympathetic to Fischer's plight, but reluctant to grant him the full benefits of citizenship, Icelandic authorities granted him an alien's passport.
Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
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Why do high profile chess players always have to go completely batshit crazy?
So, wait... two examples, and you indict an entire group of people?
Wow, well done. Well done indeed.
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When there's only four high-profile chess players....
Uhuh. Yeah, there's a few more than that [chess.com].
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High-ranked is not the same as high-profile.
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Right, and when the population is like ten or so then two is a significant sample.
No, it's still not. A population of 10 tells you absolutely zilch about chess players as a group, or about high-ranked chess players as a subgroup. The sample itself is simply too small to say anything at all that's statistically meaningful.
And that's ignoring the fact that there are more like hundreds of professional chess players out there.
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The GP is suggesting that the subgroup 'high profile chess players' has a population of about 10. A sample of size 2 from a population of size 10 is significant.
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Right, and when the population is like ten or so then two is a significant sample.
No, it's still not. A population of 10 tells you absolutely zilch about chess players as a group, or about high-ranked chess players as a subgroup. The sample itself is simply too small to say anything at all that's statistically meaningful.
And that's ignoring the fact that there are more like hundreds of professional chess players out there.
Right. Even assuming you have a sample of two from a population of ten super elite chess players you might pass significance tests (thats a very shaky might), but that does not at all mean that there is anything significant (in either the statistical or practical sense) about any results. 2 sets of data is just insufficient to meaningfully analyze, ESPECIALLY in social sciences that deal with human people.
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Hundreds of professional chess players?
Wow... I'm wondering how much money one could possibly make as a 'professional chess player' because by some definition of the word 'professional' they should all be making some sort of coinage.
Is there any info on this as a career? Just curious...
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Well, given that the US chess championship [fide.com] for 2010 features a $170,000 purse, while a player may not be able to live only on chess, they can certainly do alright by it, assuming they're any good.
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Tom Cruise and the CoC(k) people aren't batshit crazy. They are much more disgusting that bat guana. Batshit crazy is apt for a world class chess player who has gone round the bend. Most politicians who go off the deep end are much more commonplace - they are dogshit crazy! ;^)
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Tom Cruise and the CoC(k) people aren't batshit crazy. They are much more disgusting that bat guana. Batshit crazy is apt for a world class chess player who has gone round the bend. Most politicians who go off the deep end are much more commonplace - they are dogshit crazy! ;^)
I think there's probably a direct correlation between an individual's standing in the Church of Scientology and the ratio of evil:batshit-crazy in their hearts.
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Re:It's Always the Chess Players (Score:5, Interesting)
Tomorrow we'll find out Kasparov has invented a "free energy" machine and historians have found a volume of letters from Paul Morphy claiming he controlled the moon.
Kasparov is batshit-crazy. For one thing, he is an ardent and outspoken supporter of Fomenko's "New Chronology" [wikipedia.org] - go ahead, read what's at that link, and tell me if a sane person can believe this.
Then also, politically, Kasparov is by and large a neo-con. Yes, he's still an opposition to the existing regime in Russia, and I'd prefer him over the guys who rule the country now, but overall, his politics are also rather extreme.
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Actually I would not be surprised if parts of our modern version of history have been falsified. "History is written by the victor" and all that.. and most religious originators/leaders are obviously insane and/or control freaks, book burners etc.. I've never been particularly interested in history as a subject though for most of my life, and it's only now that I myself am no longer religious that I'm starting to find it more interesting.
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That.. is... well...
Disturbing.
Even more so is that you knew to post all those links.
Dear Aliens (Score:4, Funny)
Mr. President there must not be an alien abduction gap! I propose we take our most popular specimens like Tom Cruise, Ke$ha, Will Smith and Robert Downey Jr. and chain them down in a random field for sampling by aliens.
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I propose we take our most popular specimens like Tom Cruise, Ke$ha, Will Smith and Robert Downey Jr. and chain them down in a random field for sampling by aliens.
Would you really want those four people to be the alien's first direct being-to-being contact with the human race?
I know I certainly wouldn't ...
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He never said they were going to be returned. Just taken.
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He never said they were going to be returned. Just taken.
Russian Official: "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for aliens like you. If you let my President go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."
Aliens: Qapla' [Good Luck]
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You're forgetting Mr. New Orleans Lead Vest In A Raft Rescue himself, Sean Penn.
Foreign prostitutes are not that kind of "alien" (Score:3, Funny)
Well, it worked when Mr. Smith got caught (Score:5, Interesting)
It's amazing the extremes some politicans will go to to cover up affairs from their wives. "You see honey, I spend all weekend with...uh...ALIENS!" In other news, Ilyumzhinov is also planning a hiking trip this weekend on the Appalachian Trail--where his cellphone won't work, so don't even bother calling.
Well, it wouldn't be the first time a rediculously tall tail helped through the missus off the scent. When (Mormon founder) Joseph Smith was caught molesting a 14-year-old child [exmormon.org], he simply told his followers (and his wife) that an angel with a sword commanded him to do it, and that everyone thereafter was ordered (by God, by way of sword-wielding angel and self-proclaimed prophet) to have more than one wife, on pain of death and damnation.
Which of course led to such wonderful quotes as:
"I think no more of taking another wife than I do of buying a cow."
- Apostle Heber C. Kimball, The Twenty Seventh Wife, Irving Wallace, p. 101.
It's an interesting progression of excuses:
1. The Devil made me do it!
2. God, in the form of an angel with a flaming sword, made me do it!
3. Aliens made me do it!
At least with aliens, it's trendy and captures the zeitgeist
Re:Well, it worked when Mr. Smith got caught (Score:4, Insightful)
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It's amazing the extremes some politicans will go to to cover up affairs from their wives. "You see honey, I spend all weekend with...uh...ALIENS!" In other news, Ilyumzhinov is also planning a hiking trip this weekend on the Appalachian Trail--where his cellphone won't work, so don't even bother calling.
I heard he's also hiring aliens to carry his luggage...?
Site confussion (Score:2)
I was sure i was reading "The Onion"...i even smiled while i went into the last sentence.
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It gets harder and harder to tell "The Onion" from the news every year.
What, no anal probe? (Score:3, Funny)
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Maybe those aliens got bored of probing like these ones:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz7sBTHtcLU [youtube.com]
Alien witnesses . . .? (Score:3, Funny)
Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the leader of the southern region of Kalymkia, made his claim in a television interview. Mr Ilyumzhinov said in an interview on primetime television that he had been taken on board an alien spaceship which had come to planet Earth to take samples — and claims to have several witnesses
Unfortunately, those alien witnesses are unavailable for questioning . . .
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The good news is that eventually the aliens can be properly sued [youtube.com].
Two words for you: crazy dictator (Score:3, Interesting)
I have two words for you: "Crazy dictator".
Russian regional "governators" are appointed by president and all they have to do to stay in power in their local feods is simply lick Moscow's ass.
At this circumstances it's a badge of honor for a local tzar to say something batshit crazy just to show that you are one wholesome untouchable sonofabitch.
Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator (Score:5, Informative)
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This is very typical for Russian democracy: one wins in a shady election, "popularity" is the state-controlled media environment is totally BS.
A Russian weird twist at this is that post-Soviet dictators are often people with geeky education (like Askar Akaev, former president of Kyrsgyztan, for example).
Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator (Score:5, Insightful)
My measure of democracy is not whether someone is elected into office, but elected out of office. So far Russia has yet to strip a President of their power via an election, so I'm still withholding my opinion on whether it's a democracy.
I find Slashdot far more tolerable with Funny set to -5 as well.
Mod parent +5 funny (Score:2)
Mod parent +5 funny. I have mod points, but I can only use one on this post. It's going to take about 10 to under-rate and +funny this post the way it's begging to be.
Please! For the love of irony, please, mod parent +5 funny! Think of the children!
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"While he was appointed for his current term as Head of Kalmykia, he was previously its President without any appointment, simply by being elected. Despite the occasional controversy, he's quite popular, I believe, not in the least due to his position in FIDE."
And for nothing else. Kalmykia is extremely poor and Ilumzhinov really rules there like a dictator (i.e. suppressing press, using police to beat up people, etc.). Basically, Putin and Medveded do not care about it since Ilumzhinov keeps everything ins
Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator (Score:4, Interesting)
Do not be surprised at the popularity of authoritarian leaders in Russia. That's one of the weird things about the country. Someone who's pretty much a dictator or at least an autocrat can still be popular enough to win in a genuine election. Heck, Medvedev was elected because Putin said Medvedev is his preferred candidate. While Russian elections do apparently have vote-fixing in certain areas/demographics (not deliberate miscounts of votes, but people being forced to vote for a candidate), there's no doubt that the majority really did vote for Medvedev. Or that Putin easily had enough support for his second term.
Seems like in smaller regions of Russia, many people are happy about having a local authoritarian-style leader. I think it's one of the worst legacies of the Soviet Union in this part of the world, and a legacy that's going to be tough to get rid of. I mean the people's contentedness (contentment? not sure of the English word) to have a guy in charge that makes the calls. A "strong ruler".
This is one of the things I like about how Americans view their society. Americans and mostly happy and proud to vote, from what I've seen. They certainly would hate being in a situation where they don't have the opportunity to do so.
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Do not be surprised at the popularity of authoritarian leaders in Russia. That's one of the weird things about the country.
There is nothing surprising here. Russian history had weak rulers and strong rules. Weak ones brought disaster; strong ones brought success and prosperity. You don't need to go too far back, just look at the chaos and wars of Yeltsin's years.
Americans and mostly happy and proud to vote, from what I've seen. They certainly would hate being in a situation where they don't have the op
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I think it's a wrong argument to say that despite being a dictator person 'X' is still would win a popular vote. With the presence of just voting system, free journalism or at least somewhat free journalism you'd never know how how the public opinion would sway and would the dictator actually stack up to the competition, on the second thought no one knows either by how much elections were rigged, and whether there was one or one million ballots stuffed.
I also think that this argument - "Putin is popular eve
Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator (Score:4, Insightful)
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While he was appointed for his current term as Head of Kalmykia, he was previously its President without any appointment, simply by being elected.
This is true, and also applies to many other regional governors in Russia, especially in the "national republics" (those partitioned by some ethnic aspect) - most of the guys ruling them were "elected" once after collapse of the USSR, and have been repeatedly "re-elected" since, and now repeatedly re-appointed by the President. In fact, most of those people were also in positions of power during Soviet times.
The reason why I mock-quote "elected" is because those elections, while not quite the sham they were
"Regional President"? (Score:2)
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Maybe he looked important to their reference frame and concepts.
Don't extrapolate your value-systems; those who you might find "important" might be absolutely insignificant to me.
For me the alien-stories get boring though, I was fascinated by it during the 90s, as was everybody. X-files sortof fueled this. But now, grand oversaturation and nothing exciting as the oversaturation discredits anything.
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Maybe for them, the game of chess is the most important thing in the universe.
It is [wikipedia.org], with a full glass of zolt [fantlab.ru] in hand.
Re:"Regional President"? (Score:4, Interesting)
Anyone who is sane would keep their mouths shut about it.
It's kinda like the sailors who talked about the rogue waves, it wasn't until it was properly documented that they no longer considered the victims of rogue waves of just being bad sailors and bad liars.
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"Regional president" is actually a correct translation of his title. Russia is divided into regions, and some of them are called 'republics' and thus are governed by presidents. Some other regions are 'gubernias' and are governed by 'gubernators'.
Yes, it's a mess.
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It's all relative my friend. Very Relative [google.com]
Anyone else? (Score:2)
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Have to admit.... yes ;-)
There is always that little spark of hope whispering....
"this time it's for real! There were several very credible witnesses. Among them a professional camera crew that for once was capable of making steady and focused shots. Some other witnesses are blessed with a photographic memory and have consistent accounts of what happened and can describe it in detail. And that bright journalist among them had the presence of mind to try communicating on a basic level"
But meh.. hope is what
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For most of us, it's caffeine. You might try it. Easier to pop the tab on a Mountain Dew than try to figure out what to be hopeful of. More reliable as well.
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Yes, very much so, in a Carl Sagan "wow the universe is big and we're small" kind of way, not a Steven Hawking "don't talk to alien strangers" kind of way ;)
Agreed. I couldn't believe that was Hawking's conclusion. Very silly. The universe is literally full of resources. Why would aliens literally pass up limitless resources to come to our planet, just to take ours? It suggests a mental and societal deficiency, combined with a warmongering capability, which would absolutely preclude the level of development which would make such a galactic proposition, all but impossible.
Its like passing up an endless row of candy factories just so you can take it from babies.
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I have often thought someting along these lines. I believe in the existence of life on other planets, and that they have visited this one. But I don't fear an alien invasion.
If they have developed such high technology, I expect that they have learned to not subjugate others and not to solve problems with force. Both of those behaviors have held us back on this planet and would on others.
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So, you believe there are lots of other planets which
have over 6 billion sheeple to eat?
Large brains may be a delicacy to them.
putting it to bed (Score:2)
A simple calendar check... (Score:2, Insightful)
In Soviet Russia... (Score:3, Funny)
Did he see Farrakhan up there as well?
Jesus (Score:2, Flamebait)
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How is this claim about UFOs/aliens any different, reality-wise, than the millions of people around the world who actually believe that a Jew thousands of years ago raised himself from the dead, or that Moses made the sea split so he could travel across it, or that Jacob wrestled with an angel?
It is quite different in that the UFO claim has a much higher probablility of being true.
I believe him; something happened to him. (Score:3, Interesting)
He's far from the only one who has reported this - an awful lot of very credible people have - people who have nothing to gain and everything to lose by even mentioning it.
So there is something going on.
I think people are remiss by dismissing people who report this stuff and labelling them as "crazy." History is full of examples of people reporting on anomalies and being called crazy only to find these anomalies accepted as fact later on.
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Indeed, there is something going on.
I am of the opinion that aliens are and have been visiting this planet for some time. Further, I think they are keeping themselves largely hidden because they are concerned about the reaction if they were to reveal themselves in an unambiguous way; they would be worshipped or attacked, or both and they don't want the responsibility or drama.
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Disguised as lawyers and politicians and bankers,
secretly running the planet until the alien spaceships arrive.
Recall there were a lot of reports of UFOs around the time
that the nuclear genie was unleashed.
Expect increased reports of UFOs over the next 15 years.
Catch-22? (Score:2)
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If he is telling the truth, there is no security risk
because the aliens already know what is going on anyway.
If he is not telling the truth, there is no security risk
because everyone will dismiss anything he says anyway.
Careful of who laffs last. (Score:2)
We can look as far as we can go back in space/time (see NOVA Hunting Teh edge of space [pbs.org] and we end with widely scattered light that we cannot see past. Then we go the route of looking at the very very small (see LHC LHC experiments video [ucla.edu]
So as much as what is all happening in 2012 (what we know scientifically) there is also our point in evolution and science where we see a millionth of a second past the big bang.
When will we and the Aliens be ready to meet?
When they don't have to prove to us what we will then
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Aren't those videos just of mini-cyclone type things? Like a twister but above ground level.
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...as opposed to those regular underground twisters...
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The ones you normally see on TV/movies have their base at ground level, but you also get ones that occur higher up. No need to be a smartass.
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Sorry about that. I know it isn't necessary but it keeps me occupied.
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It's okay, I've been there :p
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He needs the backing of aliens to stay in power!