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Russian Officials To Investigate Regional President's Alien Abduction Claims

samzenpus posted more than 4 years ago | from the mars-wants-to-play-chess dept.

Sci-Fi 184

wdef writes "The BBC reports that a Russian MP has asked President Dmitry Medvedev to investigate claims by a regional president that he has met aliens on board a spaceship. Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the leader of the southern region of Kalymkia, made his claim in a television interview. Mr Ilyumzhinov said in an interview on primetime television that he had been taken on board an alien spaceship which had come to planet Earth to take samples — and claims to have several witnesses. He has been president of Kalmykia, a small Buddhist region of Russia which lies on the shores of the Caspian Sea, for 17 years. As president of the World Chess Federation, he has spent tens of millions of dollars turning the impoverished republic into a mecca for chess players — building an entire village to host international tournaments. MP Andre Lebedev is not just asking whether Mr Ilyumzhinov is fit to govern. He is also concerned that, if he was abducted, he may have revealed details about his job and state secrets."

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It's Always the Chess Players (4, Funny)

eldavojohn (898314) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110770)

Why do high profile chess players always have to go completely batshit crazy [wikipedia.org] ?

Tomorrow we'll find out Kasparov has invented a "free energy" machine and historians have found a volume of letters from Paul Morphy claiming he controlled the moon.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (4, Funny)

Pojut (1027544) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110790)

It's no different than a footballer or hockey player that has a broken body later on in life. Chess players use their minds like footballers and hockey players use their body.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32110952)

Congrats, that's the dumbest thing I've read this week.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32111032)

Nah, probably just another spent chess player.

mod this funny - I mis modded (0, Offtopic)

postermmxvicom (1130737) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111586)

posting to undo...

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (2, Insightful)

The Grim Reefer2 (1195989) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111088)

Congrats, that's the dumbest thing I've read this week.

So you're saying this is the only thing you've read on Slashdot this week.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (2, Insightful)

Shakrai (717556) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112006)

Congrats, that's the dumbest thing I've read this week.

So you're saying this is the only thing you've read on Slashdot this week.

Maybe he reads at +5 and doesn't enjoy the privilege of reading the gay niggers association of america as often as the rest of us?

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (1)

geekoid (135745) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112430)

The fact that has been modded up as insightful is the most shameful thing I've seen on slashdot.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32112470)

So you're saying this is the only thing you've read on Slashdot this week.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (4, Informative)

sonnejw0 (1114901) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111828)

Actually, the APOE4 allele that predisposes to Alzheimer's Disease / Dementia also embues its recipients with a higher IQ. The hypothesis is that the brain burns out quickly, so perhaps chess players do become progressively more illogical as they burn out their logic circuits quickly in earlier life.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32112488)

Congrats, that's the dumbest thing I've read this week.

Cut him some slack, he's a former chess player.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (3, Insightful)

d34dluk3 (1659991) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111062)

Now imagining: "Oh, and those neurons just got slammed by that Rook! What a brutal hit, Steve!"

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (4, Funny)

Thanshin (1188877) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111288)

Insightful? Seriously?

Are the modders out of their fricking minds?

They've probably played too much chess, or something.

I don't think it works that way, though (4, Insightful)

Moraelin (679338) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111408)

I don't think it works that way, though. There isn't evidence that using one's brain too much can cause the same kind of damage as pulling a muscle or twisting a knee does in more physical sports. On the contrary, there is a ton of evidence by now that it can actually delay the onset of the various forms of neuro-degeneration in the old age.

But it may be that you already have to be not entirely normal up there in the first place to make it that far in chess.

Re:I don't think it works that way, though (4, Funny)

Bobfrankly1 (1043848) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111490)

I don't think it works that way, though. There isn't evidence that using one's brain too much can cause the same kind of damage as pulling a muscle or twisting a knee does in more physical sports. On the contrary, there is a ton of evidence by now that it can actually delay the onset of the various forms of neuro-degeneration in the old age.

But it may be that you already have to be not entirely normal up there in the first place to make it that far in chess.

I was going to give this detailed retort, countering each and every one of your points, but I bruised my brain in the attempt. According to the examining physician, I may never think again...

Re:I don't think it works that way, though (5, Funny)

corbettw (214229) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112176)

According to the examining physician, I may never think again...

I know a site where you'll fit right in. [fark.com]

Re:I don't think it works that way, though (2, Funny)

404 Clue Not Found (763556) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111882)

...said by someone who obviously thought about it way too much.

Re:Average programmer (work) life-time? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32111960)

Do you know it? Yep. It is very low compared to other jobs.

Re:I don't think it works that way, though (0, Troll)

inKubus (199753) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112434)

Actually, overuse of neurons can cause them to inflame and die. That's one of the major causes of Alzheimer's. So, perhaps chess players lack some of the regulating feedback systems that most normal people have. This enables their brains to work at a higher "clock speed" than most, but it also could cause the death of brain cells at a much faster rate. But you're right, for "most people", brain activity exercises the brain and keeps the synapse connections working and is good for your mental health.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (5, Funny)

somersault (912633) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110902)

Sympathetic to Fischer's plight, but reluctant to grant him the full benefits of citizenship, Icelandic authorities granted him an alien's passport.

Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32110958)

I have excessive smegma.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (2, Insightful)

Abcd1234 (188840) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110986)

Why do high profile chess players always have to go completely batshit crazy?

So, wait... two examples, and you indict an entire group of people?

Wow, well done. Well done indeed.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (1)

CastrTroy (595695) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111334)

Two is a significant sample if we're talking about the number of "high profile chess players" in the world.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (0, Troll)

Abcd1234 (188840) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111984)

Two is a significant sample if we're talking about the number of "high profile chess players" in the world.

Really? Could you provide a statistical backing for that claim? Because I *strongly* suspect "two" isn't a significant enough sample to extract a trend in any moderately sized population.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32112314)

Because I *strongly* suspect "two" isn't a significant enough sample to extract a trend in any moderately sized population.

Right, and when the population is like ten or so then two is a significant sample.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (1)

blackraven14250 (902843) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112316)

When there's only four high-profile chess players....

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (1)

Abcd1234 (188840) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112502)

When there's only four high-profile chess players....

Uhuh. Yeah, there's a few more than that [chess.com] .

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (2, Informative)

Yvanhoe (564877) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111004)

No, Kasparov is running as a candidate in the opposition party against to Vladimir Putin. This can be labelled as "batshit crazy" as well, I must admit.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32111124)

in Kasparov case, its actually more akin to suicidal behaviour than being batshit crazy. I reserved those kind of specials for the Tom Cruise category of insane.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (1)

Runaway1956 (1322357) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111746)

Tom Cruise and the CoC(k) people aren't batshit crazy. They are much more disgusting that bat guana. Batshit crazy is apt for a world class chess player who has gone round the bend. Most politicians who go off the deep end are much more commonplace - they are dogshit crazy! ;^)

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (1)

siloko (1133863) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111184)

More pertinently Ilyumzhinov is up for re-election as President of FIDE [wikipedia.org] soon and is currently in a battle with former World Chess Champion Anatoly Karpov [wikipedia.org] for the Russian Chess Federation's nomination. This couldn't have come at a better time for Karpov. Roll on a new era in chess administration and please lets put an end to Chess Grand Prix's and other prestigious tournaments being held in the back of beyond [fide.com] to satisfy some curious regional egotism!

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32111866)

Kasparov is already insane. He believes that a thousand years of history doesn't actually exist:

http://www.revisedhistory.org/view-garry-kasparov.htm

Re:It's Always the Chess Players (4, Interesting)

shutdown -p now (807394) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112438)

Tomorrow we'll find out Kasparov has invented a "free energy" machine and historians have found a volume of letters from Paul Morphy claiming he controlled the moon.

Kasparov is batshit-crazy. For one thing, he is an ardent and outspoken supporter of Fomenko's "New Chronology" [wikipedia.org] - go ahead, read what's at that link, and tell me if a sane person can believe this.

Then also, politically, Kasparov is by and large a neo-con. Yes, he's still an opposition to the existing regime in Russia, and I'd prefer him over the guys who rule the country now, but overall, his politics are also rather extreme.

Dear Aliens (3, Funny)

eldavojohn (898314) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110778)

What the hell? Come on aliens! Seriously? America has twice the crazies suitable for testing and ... probing. Russia is so 18th and 19th century. I promise you that for at least the next decade [theonion.com] , Americans are the ones you want to abduct.

Mr. President there must not be an alien abduction gap! I propose we take our most popular specimens like Tom Cruise, Ke$ha, Will Smith and Robert Downey Jr. and chain them down in a random field for sampling by aliens.

Re:Dear Aliens (2, Insightful)

Grench (833454) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111138)

I propose we take our most popular specimens like Tom Cruise, Ke$ha, Will Smith and Robert Downey Jr. and chain them down in a random field for sampling by aliens.

Would you really want those four people to be the alien's first direct being-to-being contact with the human race?

I know I certainly wouldn't ...

Re:Dear Aliens (2, Funny)

BlackSnake112 (912158) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111214)

He never said they were going to be returned. Just taken.

Re:Dear Aliens (1)

blackraven14250 (902843) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111424)

Besides, if the aliens were hostile, that's a fucking dream team to have on their mothership.

Re:Dear Aliens (1)

Bobfrankly1 (1043848) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111584)

He never said they were going to be returned. Just taken.

Russian Official: "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for aliens like you. If you let my President go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

Aliens: Qapla' [Good Luck]

Re:Dear Aliens (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111348)

Mr. President, we must not allow an alien abduction gap!

Re:Dear Aliens (1)

CAIMLAS (41445) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111720)

You're forgetting Mr. New Orleans Lead Vest In A Raft Rescue himself, Sean Penn.

Re:Dear Aliens (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32112086)

What do you have against Robert Downey Jr.?

Foreign prostitutes are not that kind of "alien" (2, Funny)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110780)

It's amazing the extremes some politicans will go to to cover up affairs from their wives. "You see honey, I spend all weekend with...uh...ALIENS!" In other news, Ilyumzhinov is also planning a hiking trip this weekend on the Appalachian Trail--where his cellphone won't work, so don't even bother calling.

Well, it worked when Mr. Smith got caught (5, Interesting)

FreeUser (11483) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111010)

It's amazing the extremes some politicans will go to to cover up affairs from their wives. "You see honey, I spend all weekend with...uh...ALIENS!" In other news, Ilyumzhinov is also planning a hiking trip this weekend on the Appalachian Trail--where his cellphone won't work, so don't even bother calling.

Well, it wouldn't be the first time a rediculously tall tail helped through the missus off the scent. When (Mormon founder) Joseph Smith was caught molesting a 14-year-old child [exmormon.org] , he simply told his followers (and his wife) that an angel with a sword commanded him to do it, and that everyone thereafter was ordered (by God, by way of sword-wielding angel and self-proclaimed prophet) to have more than one wife, on pain of death and damnation.

Which of course led to such wonderful quotes as:

"I think no more of taking another wife than I do of buying a cow."
- Apostle Heber C. Kimball, The Twenty Seventh Wife, Irving Wallace, p. 101.

It's an interesting progression of excuses:

1. The Devil made me do it!
2. God, in the form of an angel with a flaming sword, made me do it!
3. Aliens made me do it!

At least with aliens, it's trendy and captures the zeitgeist

Re:Well, it worked when Mr. Smith got caught (3, Insightful)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111314)

Maybe the aliens are causing this rash of sex addiction that's spreading among rich, famous males.

Re:Well, it worked when Mr. Smith got caught (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32112460)

1. The Devil made me do it!
2. God, in the form of an angel with a flaming sword, made me do it!
3. Aliens made me do it!

Sadly, living in Arizona, I have only the first 2 choices.

Proof (1)

unixcrab (1080985) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110808)

They already found proof of the UFO. Looks convincing to me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOWyZUI8a0g&feature=related [youtube.com]

Re:Proof (1)

somersault (912633) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110948)

Aren't those videos just of mini-cyclone type things? Like a twister but above ground level.

Re:Proof (1)

Sinning (1433953) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111358)

That's what they want you to believe.

Re:Proof (1)

imakemusic (1164993) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111764)

...as opposed to those regular underground twisters...

Re:Proof (1)

somersault (912633) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111936)

The ones you normally see on TV/movies have their base at ground level, but you also get ones that occur higher up. No need to be a smartass.

Re:Proof (1)

imakemusic (1164993) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112312)

Sorry about that. I know it isn't necessary but it keeps me occupied.

Even if he told them everything... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32110812)

What are the odds they understand Russian?

In soviet Russia... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32110832)

... you abduct Aliens :)

Site confussion (1)

Rotten (8785) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110886)

I was sure i was reading "The Onion"...i even smiled while i went into the last sentence.

Re:Site confussion (2, Funny)

gestalt_n_pepper (991155) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111518)

It gets harder and harder to tell "The Onion" from the news every year.

What, no anal probe? (2, Funny)

Jawn98685 (687784) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110916)

You'd think that someone fabricating an alien abduction tale would at least get the basics right.

Re:What, no anal probe? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32111238)

You know of course that the anal probing was in reaction to us not interacting with their normal probes safely. Having the airways and food intake in the same spot messed them up, they used to accidentally kill the people they were probing by suffocation.

Re:What, no anal probe? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32111784)

Check the BBC article and look at the guy's face, heck that's why they're taking this so seriously, the aliens used too big of a probe, it got stuck, they had to leave it in, and when they returned him to earth he was able to report to medical authorities with undeniable proof he'd been abducted. Poor guy might even have to use depends for the rest of his life.

Alien witnesses . . .? (2, Funny)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110918)

Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the leader of the southern region of Kalymkia, made his claim in a television interview. Mr Ilyumzhinov said in an interview on primetime television that he had been taken on board an alien spaceship which had come to planet Earth to take samples — and claims to have several witnesses

Unfortunately, those alien witnesses are unavailable for questioning . . .

Re:Alien witnesses . . .? (1)

dkleinsc (563838) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111232)

The good news is that eventually the aliens can be properly sued [youtube.com] .

Two words for you: crazy dictator (2, Interesting)

mapkinase (958129) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110942)

I have two words for you: "Crazy dictator".

Russian regional "governators" are appointed by president and all they have to do to stay in power in their local feods is simply lick Moscow's ass.

At this circumstances it's a badge of honor for a local tzar to say something batshit crazy just to show that you are one wholesome untouchable sonofabitch.

Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator (5, Informative)

ACS Solver (1068112) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111026)

While he was appointed for his current term as Head of Kalmykia, he was previously its President without any appointment, simply by being elected. Despite the occasional controversy, he's quite popular, I believe, not in the least due to his position in FIDE. Also, the story itself is nothing extraordinary. Ilyumzhinov has been known for years as an eccentric person, and he had already mentioned being taken to alien ships on a few occasions.

Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator (1)

mapkinase (958129) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111098)

This is very typical for Russian democracy: one wins in a shady election, "popularity" is the state-controlled media environment is totally BS.

A Russian weird twist at this is that post-Soviet dictators are often people with geeky education (like Askar Akaev, former president of Kyrsgyztan, for example).

Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator (5, Insightful)

samkass (174571) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111436)

This is very typical for Russian democracy: one wins in a shady election, "popularity" is the state-controlled media environment is totally BS.

My measure of democracy is not whether someone is elected into office, but elected out of office. So far Russia has yet to strip a President of their power via an election, so I'm still withholding my opinion on whether it's a democracy.

---
I do not believe in karma. "Funny"=-6. Do good and forbid evil. Yours, Oft-Offtopic Flamebaiting Troll.

I find Slashdot far more tolerable with Funny set to -5 as well.

Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator (2, Insightful)

Cyberax (705495) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111462)

"While he was appointed for his current term as Head of Kalmykia, he was previously its President without any appointment, simply by being elected. Despite the occasional controversy, he's quite popular, I believe, not in the least due to his position in FIDE."

And for nothing else. Kalmykia is extremely poor and Ilumzhinov really rules there like a dictator (i.e. suppressing press, using police to beat up people, etc.). Basically, Putin and Medveded do not care about it since Ilumzhinov keeps everything inside 'his' republic.

Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator (3, Interesting)

ACS Solver (1068112) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112372)

Do not be surprised at the popularity of authoritarian leaders in Russia. That's one of the weird things about the country. Someone who's pretty much a dictator or at least an autocrat can still be popular enough to win in a genuine election. Heck, Medvedev was elected because Putin said Medvedev is his preferred candidate. While Russian elections do apparently have vote-fixing in certain areas/demographics (not deliberate miscounts of votes, but people being forced to vote for a candidate), there's no doubt that the majority really did vote for Medvedev. Or that Putin easily had enough support for his second term.

Seems like in smaller regions of Russia, many people are happy about having a local authoritarian-style leader. I think it's one of the worst legacies of the Soviet Union in this part of the world, and a legacy that's going to be tough to get rid of. I mean the people's contentedness (contentment? not sure of the English word) to have a guy in charge that makes the calls. A "strong ruler".

This is one of the things I like about how Americans view their society. Americans and mostly happy and proud to vote, from what I've seen. They certainly would hate being in a situation where they don't have the opportunity to do so.

Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator (0, Flamebait)

Rogerborg (306625) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111536)

he was previously its President without any appointment, simply by being elected

c.f. Hitler, Saddam, Bush II (well, in 2004 anyway).

"Regional President"? (1)

Kirin Fenrir (1001780) | more than 4 years ago | (#32110962)

You'd think if a alien species could travel millions of billions of miles at (presumably) FTL speeds, they'd at least have the foresight to abduct someone important to interview.

Re:"Regional President"? (1)

ZeroExistenZ (721849) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111022)

they'd at least have the foresight to abduct someone important to interview

Maybe he looked important to their reference frame and concepts.
Don't extrapolate your value-systems; those who you might find "important" might be absolutely insignificant to me.

For me the alien-stories get boring though, I was fascinated by it during the 90s, as was everybody. X-files sortof fueled this. But now, grand oversaturation and nothing exciting as the oversaturation discredits anything.

Re:"Regional President"? (1)

Rockoon (1252108) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111056)

Maybe for them, the game of chess is the most important thing in the universe.

Re:"Regional President"? (1)

Anonymusing (1450747) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111428)

Just what I was thinking.

Re:"Regional President"? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32111530)

Maybe for them, the game of chess is the most important thing in the universe.

At least they won't be hostile then. Just insanely boring ...

Re:"Regional President"? (3, Interesting)

Jeng (926980) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111074)

Anyone who is sane would keep their mouths shut about it.

It's kinda like the sailors who talked about the rogue waves, it wasn't until it was properly documented that they no longer considered the victims of rogue waves of just being bad sailors and bad liars.

Re:"Regional President"? (1)

darkstar949 (697933) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111168)

To be fair, a regional president is likely more important than some of the other people that claim to have been abducted.

Re:"Regional President"? (1)

Issarlk (1429361) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111258)

Maybe after millions of billions of miles they were terminally bored and wanted a good game of chess.

Re:"Regional President"? (1)

Cyberax (705495) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111486)

"Regional president" is actually a correct translation of his title. Russia is divided into regions, and some of them are called 'republics' and thus are governed by presidents. Some other regions are 'gubernias' and are governed by 'gubernators'.

Yes, it's a mess.

Re:"Regional President"? (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112336)

Yes, it's a mess.

It's all relative my friend. Very Relative [google.com]

Pretty sure I've been abducted by the same aliens (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32110976)

Took me for a ride on the Ketel One.

Anyone else? (2)

zerospeaks (1467571) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111128)

Does anybody else have a small part of them hoping it's true when hearing news stories like this?

Re:Anyone else? (1)

himitsu (634571) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111346)

Yes, very much so, in a Carl Sagan "wow the universe is big and we're small" kind of way, not a Steven Hawking "don't talk to alien strangers" kind of way ;)

Re:Anyone else? (2, Interesting)

GooberToo (74388) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111694)

Yes, very much so, in a Carl Sagan "wow the universe is big and we're small" kind of way, not a Steven Hawking "don't talk to alien strangers" kind of way ;)

Agreed. I couldn't believe that was Hawking's conclusion. Very silly. The universe is literally full of resources. Why would aliens literally pass up limitless resources to come to our planet, just to take ours? It suggests a mental and societal deficiency, combined with a warmongering capability, which would absolutely preclude the level of development which would make such a galactic proposition, all but impossible.

Its like passing up an endless row of candy factories just so you can take it from babies. Doesn't make sense in the least. Its just silly.

Re:Anyone else? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32111900)

While you are reading this, a remotely-controlled submarine is one mile beneath the ocean collecting an anemone which someone hopes will contain a gene helpful in fighting a disease that humans suffer from. If the anemone were sentient, he might mistake the sub for an alien vessel. We don't know how rare life is, but we do expect that most planets are uninhabited. If life is extremely rare, then inhabited planets may be worth the trouble of finding. Even if you don't need the genes, you can make the poor slobs worship you. And everyone wants to be worshipped: Yahweh, Satan, Jebus, Hitler, Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc.

Re:Anyone else? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32112178)

Why would aliens literally pass up limitless resources to come to our planet, just to take ours?

Who said anything about taking our resources.

Look at it from a hypothetical aliens' point of view: This Terran species is becoming technological, let's check them out. Hmm, they're batshit crazy. Not really dangerous, but potentially annoying, like a nest of wasps, with nothing to offer us to balance that. Let's get rid of them before they cause problems. Call the Vogons...

Re:Anyone else? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32111354)

Yes.

Re:Anyone else? (2, Funny)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111372)

If I'm going to dream, it's going to be of my marriage to Natalie Portman...not of aliens abducting some loser in Russia.

Re:Anyone else? (1)

dtml-try MyNick (453562) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111788)

Have to admit.... yes ;-)
There is always that little spark of hope whispering....

"this time it's for real! There were several very credible witnesses. Among them a professional camera crew that for once was capable of making steady and focused shots. Some other witnesses are blessed with a photographic memory and have consistent accounts of what happened and can describe it in detail. And that bright journalist among them had the presence of mind to try communicating on a basic level"

But meh.. hope is what keeps you going isn't it? :)

Re:Anyone else? (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112390)

But meh.. hope is what keeps you going isn't it? :)

For most of us, it's caffeine. You might try it. Easier to pop the tab on a Mountain Dew than try to figure out what to be hopeful of. More reliable as well.

putting it to bed (1)

Coraon (1080675) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111140)

Well, if there is a serious honest and open investigation, then hopefully some definitive answers. Personally I don't think it matters wither he is being abducted, or we find the part of the brain that makes him believe this and correct it. So long as at the end, this man and the several thousand other people who claim this has happened to them get some answers and peace.

To our new overlords (0, Redundant)

muckracer (1204794) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111304)

I, for one, want to believe!

Editors, wake up (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32111406)

The region of not "KalYMkia" it is "KalMYkia" copy-paste from BBC article must be difficult.

Tyrant (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32111528)

This dude is not really and good chess player. He is destroying the Chess Federation and has very strong opposition. Also, he is a tyrant of his land - 17 years - he has all chances to be there as long as Castro in Cuba.

And looks like he is crazy too which explains a lot.

Re:Tyrant (1)

Paracelcus (151056) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111684)

He needs the backing of aliens to stay in power!

A simple calendar check... (2, Insightful)

Dr.Syshalt (702491) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111886)

He says he visited an alien spaceship at 18th of September 1997, "at Saturday evening". My calendar disagrees - 1997-09-18 was Thursday.

this article led me to Chess City wikipedia page (1)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 4 years ago | (#32111908)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_City [wikipedia.org]

and i am disappointed at the lack of buildings in the shape of pawns, bishops, and rooks

also, i fully expected murray head's "one night in bangkok" to be piped in by loudspeakers

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chess_(musical) [wikipedia.org]

They Kidnapped the Wrong Guy (1)

oakwine (1709682) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112024)

He is not to be believed because he plays chess, reason enough. Let us instead make a list of abductees who could really create a stir with their story. Richard Dawkins, my personal favorite nominee. President Obama of course. More?

In Soviet Russia... (2, Funny)

Notquitecajun (1073646) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112058)

You abduct...aliens?

Did he see Farrakhan up there as well?

in socialist Phoenix (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32112228)

people abduct aliens

Jesus (1, Flamebait)

jDeepbeep (913892) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112340)

How is this claim about UFOs/aliens any different, reality-wise, than the millions of people around teh world who actually believe that a Jew thousands of years ago raised himself from the dead, or that Moses made the sea split so he could travel across it, or that Jacob wrestled with an angel? Let's not make claiming one variety of unprovable phenomena acceptable, but the other to be social and political suicide.

I believe him; something happened to him. (2, Interesting)

moxley (895517) | more than 4 years ago | (#32112356)

He's far from the only one who has reported this - an awful lot of very credible people have - people who have nothing to gain and everything to lose by even mentioning it.

So there is something going on.

I think people are remiss by dismissing people who report this stuff and labelling them as "crazy." History is full of examples of people reporting on anomalies and being called crazy only to find these anomalies accepted as fact later on.

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