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Website Sells Pubic Lice

samzenpus posted more than 4 years ago | from the gift-that-keeps-on-giving dept.

The Internet 319

A British website called crabrevenge.com will help you prove that there is literally nothing you can't find online by selling you pubic lice. A disclaimer on the site says the creators "do not endorse giving people lice," and the lice are for "novelty purposes only." The company also boasts about a facility "where we do all of our parasite husbandry and carefully considered selective breeding." Three different packages are available: "Green package - One colony that can lay as many as 30 eggs for about $20. Blue package - Three colonies to share with your friends or freeze a batch or two for about $35. Red package - A vial of 'shampoo-resistant F-strain crabs' which can take up to two weeks to kill for about $52."

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319 comments

this isnt the 70's (4, Funny)

cruelworld (21187) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173308)

Everyone i know shaves so I don't see how effective this would be.

Re:this isnt the 70's (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173420)

Lies. Like someone on Slashdot would know any women.

(If you knows guys that shave, uh, that's a little weird.)

Re:this isnt the 70's (1)

tylersoze (789256) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173546)

Well I completely shave, as does my wife, so I guess I'm a little weird then. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been with a woman that hasn't been completely shaved. Also I'm sure it's fairly common amongst gay guys, too.

Re:this isnt the 70's (3, Funny)

hodet (620484) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173756)

Bah...the gonzo porn generation. Nothing wrong with a nice bush. Why does every woman have to look like a girl guide. Now get off my lawn.

Re:this isnt the 70's (1)

ryanvm (247662) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173768)

Gah. I do not get this at all. I can dig a little grooming, but what is the point of mimicking prepubescent hair growth patterns?

Re:this isnt the 70's (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173898)

Gah. I do not get this at all.

I can dig a little grooming, but what is the point of mimicking prepubescent hair growth patterns?

"Trimming the bush makes the tree look taller." -- Richard Simmons

Re:this isnt the 70's (3, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173924)

Copy/pasting from wikipedia:

Fashion, Religion, Tradition, Sexual practice, Tactile sensation, Appearance, Discomfort, Personal taste.

Plenty of valid reasons there. Yours is a closet pedo argument if ever there was one.

Re:this isnt the 70's (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174068)

The question being, why would fashion, tradition, etc. mimic a prepubescent child.

Re:this isnt the 70's (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174064)

Ive never understood this attitude. Hair or not, if your genitals look like that of a pre-pubescent there is something weird about you.

And that goes for women too btw.

Re:this isnt the 70's (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174202)

cuz it looks great when you are getting blown

Re:this isnt the 70's (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174210)

Well, some of us don't care to pick hair out of teeth. Shedding is a very annoying problem.

Re:this isnt the 70's (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173920)

Well I completely shave, as does my wife, so I guess I'm a little weird then. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been with a woman that hasn't been completely shaved. Also I'm sure it's fairly common amongst other gay guys, too.

So, you're admitting you're gay? Am I correct in concluding that you're the pitcher and your "wife" is the catcher =P?

Re:this isnt the 70's (1)

RobertM1968 (951074) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174302)

Well I completely shave, as does my wife, so I guess I'm a little weird then. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been with a woman that hasn't been completely shaved. Also I'm sure it's fairly common amongst other gay guys, too.

So, you're admitting you're gay? Am I correct in concluding that you're the pitcher and your "wife" is the catcher =P?

Besides the fact (and more importantly) that he did not put the word "other" in his sentence, who cares?

Or perhaps you were hoping for his number?

Re:this isnt the 70's (1)

Shakrai (717556) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173938)

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been with a woman that hasn't been completely shaved.

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather my women didn't remind me of prepubescent girls......

Re:this isnt the 70's (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174208)

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever been with a woman that hasn't been completely shaved.

Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather my women didn't remind me of prepubescent girls......

So you prefer women with hairy armpits, mustaches and monobrows?
There are lots of way to groom, it is all personal preference, no need to cast out others for having certain preferences.
Unless you really mean it, and your a furry.

How to get rid of crabs. (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174012)

Shave on one side. Douse the other side with lighter fluid. Light the fluid and stab the crabs with a tooth pick when they run to the other side.

Re:this isnt the 70's (1)

ooshna (1654125) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174364)

You admit shaving along with providing info of the grooming methods of the gay population (which you share). I'm starting to think you just added you have a wife as a cover up.

Re:this isnt the 70's (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173558)

obviously bullshit. Waxing is clearly the way to go.

Re:this isnt the 70's (1)

Philip K Dickhead (906971) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173592)

Sea Monkeys!

I got ants in my pants, and I need to dance!

Re:this isnt the 70's (1)

PopeRatzo (965947) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173810)

Waxing is clearly the way to go.

But tweezing is more fun for us masochists.

Re:this isnt the 70's (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173562)

It is quite common among excessively OCD types, who also happen to tend to live socially sequestered from non-OCD types (Case in point: Slashdot).

Re:this isnt the 70's (1)

skine (1524819) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173842)

I think he means that he shaves and walked in on his mom last week when she was shaving.

Re:this isnt the 70's (2, Insightful)

MBGMorden (803437) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173886)

Really depends on the crowd. 6-7 years ago the shaving fetish hit like crazy and you'd have to search to the ends of the Earth (ok, honestly, you'd probably be safe once you hit Mexico) to find a girl with some bush, but it's come back into style in the last year or two. Not universally, but a lot more girls are sporting bush than there was previously. Can't say that's a bad thing either.

Re:this isnt the 70's (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174142)

Oh great....I'm sure every average Slashdotter has seen thousands of vaginas, and is able to correctly discern what "vagina styling" is in vogue at any given moment.

Re:this isnt the 70's (5, Funny)

AtlantaSteve (965777) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174024)

Discussion of female grooming habits is one thing, but there are too many comments here from dudes about their own "manscaping". If Slashdot is going to have an "Informative" tag which mods posts up... then there should also be a "Too Much Informative" tag which mods posts down.

Re:this isnt the 70's (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174314)

Stop lying nerds, you haven't probably even seen your own pubic hair in years.

Greeat (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173316)

They are breeding resistant strains of lice. Does this count as parasite warfare?

Re:Greeat (2, Funny)

Moblaster (521614) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173630)

Remember, you can always fight back in creative ways. I've heard chicken flied lice tastes good.

Re:Greeat (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174196)

I believe Gordon [lyricspond.com] made a nice living selling that to drunk English racist bigots.

Re:Greeat (2, Funny)

broggyr (924379) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174278)

I've heard chicken flied lice tastes good

It's fried rice you plick!

And what are they feeding the lice on ? (1, Insightful)

unity100 (970058) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173338)

huh ? is it even legal ? leave aside ethical ?

Re:And what are they feeding the lice on ? (5, Funny)

binarylarry (1338699) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173364)

I'm not the pope, but I'm going to have to put "intentionally giving people crabs" in the unethical column.

But fun and rewarding? Totally different column.

Re:And what are they feeding the lice on ? (0, Offtopic)

Shakrai (717556) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173950)

I'm not the pope, but I'm going to have to put "intentionally giving people crabs" in the unethical column.

What column does covering up felonies go in?

Re:And what are they feeding the lice on ? (5, Insightful)

xquercus (801916) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174352)

I'm not the pope, but I'm going to have to put "intentionally giving people crabs" in the unethical column.

Since when is the Pope an authority on ethics?

Re:And what are they feeding the lice on ? (1)

TerranFury (726743) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173568)

What's scary is the last sentence of TFA:

this website isn't the only one that offers pubic lice for revenge. There's also revengecrabs.com, which says "watching them itch and burn is half the fun."

So there are multiple websites dedicated to selling pubic lice.

I'm normally a laissez-faire kind of guy, but seriously... what do we need to do to get this shit shut down?

Re:And what are they feeding the lice on ? (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173774)

I'm normally a laissez-faire kind of guy, but seriously... what do we need to do to get this shit shut down?

Regulations. Laws. Common sense. Morality. A clue. The ability to live with being a hypocrite.

All of the things that "laissez-faire" economics usually figures the market will resolve for itself, and yet is completely incapable of fixing -- because it assumes benign, rational humans who make good choices, and an underlying mechanism where things like murder for hire, arms dealers, bioterrorists, and asshats can't happen. It totally ignores human nature, and the fact that people aren't always nice, and don't always give a shit about the welfare of others.

This is the logical result of laissez-faire capitalism -- basically, anarchy. Only in anarchy, someone's ability to hunt you down and kill you regulates the system. As soon as you have any concept of law, to not think you need to apply that to your economic system is just plain stupid. Because someone is going to try to fuck someone else over.

You simply can't be a strict laisez-faire guy and believe that you have any right to shut this kind of thing down -- well, I guess you could hire someone to kill them, but that might be a little extreme.

Everyone likes to think this so called "free market" is inherently moral and will arrive at "good" and "just" decisions, when in fact, it's inherently amoral. It doesn't give a shit -- if people are willing to pay for it, it must be inherently good.

Re:And what are they feeding the lice on ? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174180)

There's a job posting I'd steer clear of. "Wanted people to act as hosts for out new lice crops. No experience needed."

Is this "news for nerds" or "stuff that matters"? (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173362)

Sorry, I'm new here, but is this story considered "news for nerds" or "stuff that matters"?
and, in Soviet Russia, do pubic lice sell websites?

Re:Is this "news for nerds" or "stuff that matters (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173522)

in Soviet Russia, do pubic lice sell websites?

They tried that, but found that the market just wasn't very profitable. Then they moved on to selling bulk emailing services, and found that it made a lot more money.

Re:Is this "news for nerds" or "stuff that matters (3, Funny)

Altus (1034) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173580)

damn parasites!

Re:Is this "news for nerds" or "stuff that matters (5, Funny)

maxwell demon (590494) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173566)

Agreed: It's a lousy story.

Re:Is this "news for nerds" or "stuff that matters (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173936)

You may not find this interesting, but your ex-girlfriend sure does.

Re:Is this "news for nerds" or "stuff that matters (1)

DarkIye (875062) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174318)

This story is letting me know that yes, people can be and are indeed that passive-aggressive and disgusting.

That's just wrong on so many levels. (4, Insightful)

realsilly (186931) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173368)

That's just wrong on so many levels. I can see kids buying these and then using them to pick on other school kids they don't like. Such as putting them in some kid's underwear when he/she is showering after the gym class.

This type of item used as a gag gift could have serious consequences for the recipient. If it's a student who is the recipient, then schools kick them out until they're free and clear. Parents may miss work to be home with student. Lice spread easily.

There is absolutely nothing good from this. /facepalm

Re:That's just wrong on so many levels. (3, Funny)

swanzilla (1458281) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173476)

That's just wrong on so many levels. I can see kids buying these and then using them to pick on other school kids they don't like. Such as putting them in some kid's underwear when he/she is showering after the gym class.

-1 questionable segue into children's locker room

Re:That's just wrong on so many levels. (1)

FrankSchwab (675585) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173508)

Now, I understand that public schools check for head lice, but I really didn't understand that they were checking for PUBIC lice.

I think I'll have to have a talk with my 8-year olds Principal.

/frank

Re:That's just wrong on so many levels. (2, Funny)

cyber0ne (640846) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173596)

I really didn't understand that they were checking for PUBIC lice.

It's how they make sure the kids are presentable for their class pictures.

Re:That's just wrong on so many levels. (5, Funny)

JPNielsen (1381275) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173872)

Only in Lower Marion School District

Re:That's just wrong on so many levels. (0, Troll)

Animaether (411575) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173556)

so what you're saying is... malware samples should not be made publicly available because scriptkiddies might run with it?

Re:That's just wrong on so many levels. (1)

DarkIye (875062) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174342)

What exactly is the informative or educational value of pubic lice?

Re:That's just wrong on so many levels. (1)

Paltin (983254) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174296)

This is a way less damaging way of revenge than most things you could do to someone you don't like for 35 bucks. It's not classy, it's not good, but it's not that awful, either.

Next up: AIDS! (2, Insightful)

citylivin (1250770) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173374)

You too can have your own strain of the HIV virus! Play jokes on your friends!

Uhoh, whoes got AIDS today? Everyone!

A lifetime of hilarity!

Great Britain... (1)

pushing-robot (1037830) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173378)

For the longest time I thought Monty Python was a parody.

Re:Great Britain... (1)

gstoddart (321705) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174158)

For the longest time I thought Monty Python was a parody.

I think this falls into the "life being stranger than art" category.

taking the fun out (5, Funny)

cyberworm (710231) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173398)

I'll stick to the old way of getting crabs.
Hookers.

Re:taking the fun out (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173548)

Well, both ways require forking over a little extra scratch, but one comes without STIs. The real question is, how badly are you itching for revenge?

It's a pill, to give worms, to ex-girlfriends! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173402)

Bioterrorism? (2, Insightful)

andrewme (1562981) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173414)

Would giving people lice like this perhaps fall under the "bioterrorism" category? Just a thought...

Re:Bioterrorism? (1)

Hillview (1113491) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173454)

if bioterrorism and war were reduced to bombing each other's cities with a swarm of crabs, I could deal with it.

Unfortunately, we're all too happy to find new ways to kill each other.

Re:Bioterrorism? (1)

Hillview (1113491) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173484)

that said.. this could be some devastating psychological warfare goodness.
If an army is too busy scratching to shoot, everybody wins.

Re:Bioterrorism? (2, Insightful)

DaveV1.0 (203135) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173752)

Bioterrorism is doubtful. But, criminal mischief, assault and battery, malicious wounding, and who knows what other laws it might fall under.

Re:Bioterrorism? (1)

Duradin (1261418) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174256)

Given that anything bigger than a firecracker can get you a WMD charge these days, probably.

I remember back in the day when WMDs were real WMDS. City-killers. Weapons of genocide. Now it's anything that goes boom. So with the modern usage, there were WMDs in Iraq.

Must be Lords of Acid fans methinks (1)

jollyreaper (513215) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173426)

What's next, needles full of AIDS-infected blood?

Re:Must be Lords of Acid fans methinks (1)

ShaunC (203807) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173458)

No match for "AIDSNEEDLES.COM".

Oh man, I totally have to write a business plan for this.

Instructions (1)

shemp42 (1406965) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173448)

Do they come with instructions on the best way to infect someone? I'm in but I would like some instructions, how do I give them to say some jerk who cuts me off in traffic? Or some douche talking on his cell phone in the movie theater?

Re:Instructions (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173512)

Just follow these three easy steps:
1. Infest self with crabs
2. Seduce the s.o. of jerk (who cut you off, smoked near you in restaurant, etc. etc.)
3. Wait for hilarity to ensue

Re:Instructions (1)

g0bshiTe (596213) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173622)

www.crabdeliverysystem.com

From the website:
We have state of the art delivery systems for crabs. Our methods vary from the spy like to the bizaar. Get cut-off in traffic, no problem, just freeze some of the eggs in a bit of water, then toss the egg laden icecube into the passing vehicle, preferably on the drivers lap. Other methods, slingshot waterballoon delivery. And our personal fave, the bottle of body wash that has tons of fertilized eggs waiting inside to hatch. Order today. Pay-pal, and Visa accepted.

Re:Instructions (1)

oldspewey (1303305) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173664)

I'm guessing that if you put the critters inside something like a drinking straw, that could be used to surreptitiously deliver the payload down the back of a shirt collar. Ideally the shirt is tucked into the pants.

But there is a non-zero probability you'll be discovered in the act and receive a punch in the face for your troubles (but your victim still gets crabs!)

Two questions (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173462)

Do you give volume discounts and how do I get them in Rush Limbaugh's short?

Re:Two questions (1, Flamebait)

knappe duivel (914316) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173506)

Do you give volume discounts and how do I get them in Rush Limbaugh's short?

That would be cruel for the lice

Fortunately... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173670)

That would be cruel for the lice

Fortunately lice are not human, so it is legal to inflict cruel and unusual punishment upon them. I very much doubt PETA will throw a fit over it either. That said, any idea on how to get them onto Palin?

Re:Two questions (1)

AndersOSU (873247) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173808)

Contaminate the falafels closest to his studio.

So what... (1)

keytohwy (975131) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173470)

Do you just sprinkle them on the toilet seat?

Other parasites? (1)

Itninja (937614) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173498)

Can you buy tapeworms online to help us (or that fat loved one) lose weight? What about fleas? What fun!

Technology? (1)

asher09 (1684758) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173514)

Why is this tagged technology??? Because of the "resistant" strain?

Re:Technology? (2, Insightful)

canajin56 (660655) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174170)

Selling lice = boring. Selling line ONLINE = new high tech invention! Works for patents, so it should work for Slashdot stories, too.

Awful website. (1)

CannonballHead (842625) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173532)

The grammar on the website is awful, complete with "were" instead of "where," breaking apart words that shouldn't be broken apart...

Drop Shop (1)

Stenchwarrior (1335051) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173536)

Can you anonymously drop-ship this product to, say, an ex-wife or unfriendly co-worker? I'd like to buy about 10 batches of the "Red", if so.

Holy shit you are stupid. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174146)

What are yo going to do, include a note that says "Please drop the contents on yourself, because I don't have a FUCKING CLUE or any COMMON SENSE on how this works!"

Seriously, are you that clueless about how to use this? Are you that much of a mongoloid moron that you think this works the same way computer viruses and trojans work? You know what, I bet you're stupid enough to think that shipping a gun and some bullets to someone is all that's needed to bump them off.

Come on, cut these guys some slack already. (2, Funny)

Joey Vegetables (686525) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173540)

It's not like there aren't much bigger and popular Web sites [microsoft.com] peddling much more harmful and destructive products [microsoft.com] .

Re:Come on, cut these guys some slack already. (1)

Em Emalb (452530) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173584)

-1 invalid comparison.

Re:Come on, cut these guys some slack already. (3, Funny)

Joey Vegetables (686525) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173696)

OK, fair enough. You can get rid of public lice!

Re:Come on, cut these guys some slack already. (3, Funny)

Em Emalb (452530) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173912)

Are you talking about some draconian lice-ensing scheme?

Man, I must be new around here. I'll get me coat, and I'll be mindful of the lawn.

Re:Come on, cut these guys some slack already. (1)

Joey Vegetables (686525) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174050)

Stop picking nits!

Crabrevenge.com used to be owned... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173640)

...by Red Lobster.

SOLD! (2, Funny)

indre1 (1422435) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173646)

SOLD - in Europe only Danish teenagers shave!

Re:SOLD! (1)

Tukz (664339) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173902)

And you know this how?
I'm worried for my kindsmen.

My favorite testimonial (5, Funny)

BitwiseX (300405) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173648)

"Thank you SO much you saved my marridge! My wife broke it off with her new lover because she thought he gave her crabs, wish I had found this site sooner!"
Ryan - Hamilton

Wow...just.... wow..

So, actively spreading disease (1)

KarlIsNotMyName (1529477) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173742)

There's gotta be a law against it, right?

Re:So, actively spreading disease (1)

RazorSharp (1418697) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173934)

There's gotta be a law against it, right?

It's not a disease, it's a parasite. I doubt there's a law regarding it, but I'm sure you could sue in a civil court.

This should be illegal unless the lice are sterile (4, Insightful)

PeterM from Berkeley (15510) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173758)

Willfully spreading a contagious illness (which this qualifies as) should be illegal.
I would say that creating ANY resistant, contagious disease should be considered a crime against humanity in general and should be rewarded with a swift death.

Contagious disease is a GREAT way to inflict misery on a lot of unintended and innocent victims.

Honestly, I can think of no worse or more dangerous crime.

--PM

Then you better lock EVERYONE up. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32173988)

Everyone passes on contagions every day, it just can't be helped. The sterile, antiseptic Star Trek world you envision in your mind just doesn't exist.

Re:This should be illegal unless the lice are ster (1)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174190)

Honestly, I can think of no worse or more dangerous crime.

Bend over... Another bailout is coming (got you! heh heh)

Houston, we have a problem (1)

228e2 (934443) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173760)

"Make that bitch itch," the website says. "We sell you crabs to give your ex-girlfriend or whoever has pissed you off enough to make you seek revenge on them. If you want a method of revenge that doesn't involve permanent damage or risk of personal injury or jail time, you have come to the right place."

So when/if I do incur jail time, what kind of countersuit could I claim??

Fake (1)

Megahard (1053072) | more than 4 years ago | (#32173894)

Just like those kitten-in-a-bottle sites. Did anyone really think this was for real?

lice ense? pers anal itch? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174070)

are these gnu pubic lice? and whose itch is getting scratched? .~.

RIAA may object (1)

electricprof (1410233) | more than 4 years ago | (#32174116)

I thought that the RIAA held the international patent on blood-sucking parasites.

anyone know if they buy lice? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32174304)

I could use the extra cash ..

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  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>
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