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MySQL Outpacing Oracle In Wake of Acquisition

Soulskill posted more than 4 years ago | from the so-much-for-fud dept.

Databases 157

snydeq writes "Results from the 2010 Eclipse User Survey reveal interesting trends surrounding open source usage and opinions, writes InfoWorld's Savio Rodrigues. Linux usage among developers is on the rise, at the expense of Windows, and MySQL has pulled ahead of Oracle, by a factor of 3-to-2, as the database of choice among Eclipse developers. 'The data demonstrate that fears surrounding Oracle's control over MySQL have not resulted in lower use of MySQL in favor of an alternative open source database,' Rodrigues writes."

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what I learned at Cal Tech (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32549892)

Jonathan Swift [mailto]

April 14, 2010

While I was correct when I knew that you would all piss yourselves laughing when I finally told you what The Secret was, I was not only quite mistaken as to The Secret's true nature, but denying the very existence of The Secret in the most batshit psychotic way.

I won't tell you quite yet what The Secret I was really referring to was, but when I finally do you will agree that I made the right decision to post it at PRQ AB.

But when you read the rest of this essay, not only will you have found that not only have I asked Rusty to close my K5 account in a way that puts Mindpixel's route out the building completely to shame, you will struggle desperately to get all those Scandinavian folks to award me the Nobel Prize in Suicide before I no longer have the ability to appreciate the fact that I had finally won the Nobel Prize I always wanted.

You will regard my delusion that I am The Second Coming of Christ as no delusion when I go on to explain how I will explain in a transparently simply and obvious way why all blonde people will point out to you that they will award me both the Peace and Medicine prizes instead.

The Navajo Code Talkers were cryptologists during World War II who were able to conceal allied communications from the Nazis just by chatting over radios in the Navajo language.

The language I refer to as The Language of the Gods [] might be more lucidly described as Speaking in Code.

Psychotics speak in code in a way that makes no sense to anyone. Every Psychotic's encoded speech leads every Sane person to regard every Psychotic as delusional.

The Sane speak in code in a way that makes no sense to Psychotic people. The encoded speech of the sane leads every Psychotic to regard every Sane person as delusional.

It is for this reason that Unabomber Theodore Kaczynski devoted two decades or so to eluding capture by law enforcement while sending letter bombs with which he murdered several University professors and grievously crippled several others. Each such bomb was accompanied by a detailed explanation of just why he sent each such bomb to that specific University professor. The most famous such detailed explanation is now known as The Unabomber Manifesto.

All Ted hoped to achieve was to point out the errors of their ways to the Academic Community: he regarded Modern Technology as a threat to the natural environment. By murdering University professors, he hoped to bring about the salvation of the natural environment by restoring Sanity to those who Theodore Kaczynski knew were the most floridly delusional kinds of people.

Neurotics speak in code in a way that no one notices.

Psychotherapists understand both kinds of code.

Psychotherapists can speak code to psychotics in a way that they make complete sense to each other.

Psychotherapists can hear what neurotics are really talking about, then say what the neurotics have been in incredible pain since the earliest days of their childhood because their parents are so viciously and sadistically cruel that they refuse to say it to them.

Child psychologist Alice Miller's [] short, simple, lucidly written book Drama of the Gifted Child explains that psychotherapists learn to speak in code because their parent's great suffering enables them to start teaching their children that code from the earliest days of their infancy.

Just mentioning Drama of the Gifted Child to my psychotherapist Dr. I. led her to become overwhelmed with grief.

This also leads to the bizarre phenomenon that psychotherapists often take their lives in the most spectacular ways, and that sometimes they murder their own clients during a therapy session before they a final, fatal end to their own fifty-minute hour.

The Nobel Prize in Medicine was awarded last November by a certain quick thinking military police officer to Fort Hood Army Psychiatrist Major Nidal Malik Hassan when he made his great discovery transparently obvious to thirteen of his fellow soldiers, but was only able to get thirty-two others get a general understanding of what he was referring to.

Sometimes psychotherapists treat their own clients with such savage and merciless cruelty during their mission of mercy that their clients take their own lives in hopes that they might find some way of preventing their doctor from easing their great suffering.

It is for that reason that early tomorrow morning I will show up in person, wearing a proper business suit, at the California State Capitol of Sacramento to present to the California Medical Board my detailed, transparently obvious and lucid explanation of why my own Psychiatrist, Anita Hirsch of Los Gatos must be immediately relieved of her license to practice medicine. My complaint will accuse Dr. Hirsch - in a manner that would enable any prosecutor to win a conviction - of the following crimes:

  • Four counts attempted murder
  • One count child endangerment
  • Multiple counts negligent medical malpractice

Once I am satisfied that the Medical Board will agree to consider my letter in a serious way, I'll drive right back to Silicon Valley, to ask my business attorney - one of the best in Silicon Valley - whether he also handles Medical Malpractice lawsuits. If he doesn't, I'll ask for a referral to one of the best Malpractice attorneys in They Valley.

My resulting malpractice lawsuit will then relieve the considerably wealthy Dr. Hirsch of every penny she possesses. Earlier this evening I left Dr. Hirsch a voice mail to explain what I would be doing and why.

In my voice mail I explained that I had no desire whatsoever for any of her money. I will donate every penny of my share of the damage award to the Free Software Foundation [] , a charitable organization founded by legendary computer programmer Richard Stallman [] to dedicate his entire life to making every form of computer software as free as the wind and the ocean water.

For his valuable contribution to humanity, RMS - as he prefers to be known - was awarded a $240,000 MacArthur Fellowship in 1990. Their fellowships are more commonly known as the MacArthur Genius Prizes.

I will forward Dr. Hirsch' check to me immediately to Richard Stallman because I myself am one of the very best computer programmers. But even so, I regard Richard Stallman as my Personal Savior. I'll have to leave the reason why as an essay for another day.

I spent ten solid years begging all manner of medical and mental health professionals to find some way to help me to focus on my work. I finally gave up, then booked a one way ticket for that last vacation trip overlooking both San Francisco Bay and Pacific Ocean as well. It was only when I was completely overcome with horror when I realized that my travel agent had given Bonita a ticket as well that I checked myself into a nuthouse instead.

That night I met Psychiatrist Anita Hirsch at the Mission Oaks Campus of Good Samaritan Hospital in Los Gatos, California, I started to explain my problem to her, then not minutes later she said, "You have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder". Ever since that night, I have never required more than one or two hours to determine with complete precision whether a complete stranger has ADHD or not.

Now perhaps you're beginning to understand why I get so pissed off sometimes.

You Don't Have A Fucking Clue.

I get so pissed off because I see crap like the following going on all around me all around the entire planet Earth damn near every single day:

I struggled desperately to convince Dr. Hirsch that I was also psychotic. Not only did Dr. H. disbelieve me, she regarded me as delusional for thinking I was psychotic. She said it was a mistake for the hospital that had me under the most intensive observation for a solid month to have diagnosed me as having Bipolar-Type Schizoaffective Disorder. Three or four minutes were all she required to realize that in reality, I was just Bipolar.

She only agreed to prescribe Seroquel because she knew that the fact that I experienced delusions on a regular basis and hallucinated all the time was just because I wasn't getting enough sleep. This despite the fact that I have an absolutely legendary ability to resist the most Herculean efforts to awaken me, which was first identified by the maternity nurses in the hospital where I was born because they were completely unable to awaken me for my feedings.

While my psychotherapist in Santa Cruz, Dr. K. waited until April 1994 to inform me of the fact that I also had Obsessive-Compulsive Style, which was first explained by David Shapiro in his 1965 book Neurotic Styles, it is plainly apparent to me now that my OCS diagnosis was actually made by the psychotherapist who treated me at Alhambra Community Psychiatric Hospital in Rosemead, California where my Schizoaffective Disorder was diagnosed in July 1985.

To reveal The Truth to someone before they are ready to accept it will either lead them to disbelieve you, regard you as delusional, to be thrown headlong into Madness, murder someone or commit suicide.

Obsessive-Compulsive Style is now known as Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder. People with OCPD are always bad with people but always good not just with computers, but every kind of machine. OCPD's hallmark symptom is an inflexible self-righteous anger.

Once some maniac damn near killed both Bonita and myself by tailgating me a foot behind our car while I was driving at sixty miles an hour. I spotted a California Highway Patrol Car parked at a restaurant coming up just ahead, waited until the very last second possible, slammed on my brakes and swerved my wheel to the right and left tire tracks for at least thirty feet before coming to a stop right next to the cop.

My clever subterfuge worked: the psychopath parked right next to me. I leapt out of my car, told the CHP what he'd done, then asked the cop to the arrest him. But the way I did so led the cop to take Bonita aside then quietly explain to her that if she couldn't find some way to make me stop freaking out, he was going to arrest me.

That same kind of anger is why Bonita eventually divorced me: we were on our way to San Francisco so she could shop for her wedding dress.

After spending some time contemplating how I might use that same inflexible self-righteous anger to contribute to society in a positive way somehow, I started writing the same Software Problem essay you are reading right now.

When I pointed out to Dr. Hirsch that I had Obsessive-Compulsive Style, she said that she was completely familiar with it, that it was often correlated with ADHD. Dr. Hirsch then refused ever to discuss my Obsessive-Compulsive Style anymore.

I spent four months or so contemplating whether she was correct that I was actually just Bipolar and not Schizoaffective, then pointed out that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manner of Medical Disorder classifies one as being Bipolar-Type Schizoaffective if you have both Manic Depressive symptoms, and that you experience Psychotics symptoms when no Affective - emotional - symptoms are present.

"Just reading the DSM-III doesn't make you a psychiatrist."

I met Enigma at Mission Oaks as well, where we proceeded to carry out the most mad, passionate romance that has ever walked the Earth in the plain sight of the entire hospital staff. Dr. Hirsch was Enigma's Psychiatrist as well, and so angrily and sternly demanded we stop having anything to do with each other. We continued to carry on just as madly and passionately by quietly passing each other notes.

After we were both discharged, Enigma told me that a former friend of hers was stalking her relentlessly, alternately expressing his great love for her, then alternately threatening to commit suicide or to murder her because he refused his marriage proposal. Wedding ring diamonds the size of the Rock of Gibralter are quite expensive you see, and the jewelry store wouldn't allow him to return it.

Enigma managed to end our relationship in such a subtle and unobvious way that it took me a solid month for me to realize that she had even done so. She was always quite happy when I asked to visit her, but called me back later to say something had come up, and so had to cancel.

She managed to do this in such a subtle and unobvious way that I completely freaked out when I suddenly realized that it had been an entire month since I had last set eyes on her. Overcome with the worst kind of horror, I raced over to her place, then rang the doorbell.

The guy who had been stalking her answered the door.

Enigma threw this lunatic out of her house every three or four days then, the very next day, invited him back in. One day when I visited to find her completely overcome with joy. She proudly showed me a giant purple welt all over her knuckle: despite being a tiny woman and this gentlemen looking just like a Hell's Angel, she had studied self defense, and so when he became violent, she totally flattened him with a single punch.

He proceeded to hold her prisoner in her own home, making her sit in complete darkness with her blinds shut. She was not permitted to answer her own phone or answer her own doorbell. I knew he was doing this because sometimes the blinds weren't shut, so I could see her sitting quietly in the darkness.

After becoming completely convinced she had murdered her, I rang him up, demanded to speak to her, when he not only refused to but totally flipped out, I screamed at him that if he did not put Enigma on the phone Right Now I was going to have the San Jose Police Department kick their door to splinters. When he still refused to do so, I hung up and called 9-1-1.

About ten minutes later Enigma rang me up. "I'm OK Mike. Don't worry about me."

Perhaps you're beginning to understand why people find women with Borderline Personality Disorder so difficult.

I struggled desperately to find some way to get the police to save Enigma's life with the result that some lady cop eventually spent ten solid minutes shouting at the top of her lungs that I wasn't Enigma's boyfriend anymore, and if I didn't let those two lovebirds alone, she was going to throw me in prison.

When I pointed out that she had to totally flatten her boyfriend when he became violent, the cops pointed out that by attacking him, Enigma was actually the guilty party.

But it was only when I asked Dr. Hirsch if she could help in some way, that she said I was manic and that the Adderal I take for my Attention Deficit Disorder, a mixture of different Amphetamine compounds had caused my mania, she completely cut off my supply. I do quite well when I take Adderall, but if I don't take it, it would not be long at all before I would become homeless.

I devoted a great deal of time, care and diligence to write a letter that pointed out to Dr. Hirsch that she had the very same Sin of Pride that is considered by Catholics as the worst of the Seven Deadly sins and that Odysseus suffered after he cleverly decimated the Trojans after ten years of constant, stalemated battle by presenting what appeared to be the gift of a giant, wooden horse on wheels but in reality was a giant, wooden horse full of men with swords.

(That's why one should beware of Greeks bearing gifts, you see.)

Odysseus was so full of himself that he felt he did not need to pay fealty to the Gods anymore. Every single Greek god in existence then pointed out to Odysseus the error of his ways by taking the lives of all of his men during the journey. Odysseus' plane didn't land at the Ithaca Airport until ten years later.

Dr. Hirsch is an incredibly brilliant, educated and dedicated woman and a widely recognized expert on Attention Deficit Disorder. She is one of the most hardest-working and dedicated psychiatrists I have ever met in my entire life.

Because I finally managed realized that Doctor Hirsch knew how to climb trees, not up, but much farther out than I could ever hope to climb them, my letter explained in such a transparently simple and obvious way that would lead any fool to readily agree with me that if I so much as lifted a finger, I could take every penny she possessed by suing her for grossly negligent medical practice, by pointing out the error of her ways to the California Medical Board, her license to practice medicine as well.

After I passed copies of my letter out to the entire Mission Oaks Staff, Dr. Hirsch left me a voice mail that enabled me to see just by the sound of her voice that I had given her the worst fright of her entire career.

"Perhaps I should refer you to one of my colleagues."

Fuck That. I found my own Psychiatrist: Dr. G.

A few months later I turned up at the Good Samaritan Emergency Room completely overcome with suicidal depression. The Emergency Room rang up Dr. Hirsch, but she refused to admit me because I had threatened her.

While I'm sure you're beginning to understand why I get so pissed off so much. But everything I discuss in this entire essay is what I refer to as Speaking in Code.

Not only did British Petroleum blow a smoking crater into the floor of the Gulf of Mexico, they did so in the most ignorant way. Despite the fact that the petroleum industry has deep insight into Methyl Hydrate, in ice-like crystal composed of Methane and water that forms under tremendous pressure, they thought it might help to capture most of the leaking oil with a giant, incredibly heavy concrete dome.

Within seconds, the dome was completely filled with Methyl Hydrate crystals and so had to be removed.

I then suggested we detonate the most powerful Hydrogen Bomb in America's nuclear arsenal as close to, but not quite on top of the Gulf Blowout so we could watch the ensuing events enfold on national television. localroger was convinced that the entire global petroleum industry was completely out of its tree because some of them had the idea that to detonate a nuclear weapon not quite on top of, but as close as possible to the Gulf blowout might be a good idea.

Get This:

I read in the paper this morning that British Petroleum didn't even apply for an ecological drilling license.

Perhaps you can see now what I am referring to when I suggest that the only truly satisfying way to fix bugs, is not to fix the software, but to fix the humans.

It is only during a form of psychotherapy during a psychotherapist's graduate work known as Training Analysis that they finally realize why, during the freshman year of their undergraduate work, they found their Psych class to incredibly fascinating.

Both of my parent's overpowering suffering enabled them to teach me to speak in code in such a way that I have lived with such an overpowering delusion that I was Jesus Christ, that by the time I was four years old, if you were suffering I could heal you without either of us even being aware of what was going on if you so much as struck up a conversation with me. This process accellerated to the point that in July 1985, I performed all manner of biblical miracles all over the place at a psychiatric hospital in July 1985.

The staff understood from the start what I was doing, but they all regarded me as the Second Coming of Christ because I figured out how to do it.

Grandpa Rex, my mother and my Aunt Peggy's father, was the most incredible man. He worked his way through medical school working part time jobs. He spoke fluent Latin but despite being a Presbyterian, he sang in the Catholic choir so he could keep his Latin in top form. He was a chief surgeon at a hospital in Spokane, Washington, was a Medical Officer in the Army Air Corps during World War II, and went on some kind of secret mission during the war that none of us know anything about.

He a grand piano in his living room. After opera singers would perform in the symphony hall, he'd invite them over to his place then accompany them in the piano while they gave a private performance for him, my grandmother Florence, my aunt and my mother.

In 1948, when my Aunt and my mother were just eight years old, Grandpa Rex suddenly dropped dead.

None of you believe I can make schizophrenics stop hallucinating, but all I require to get myself 5150ed is to make that claim to a mental health professional.

Last November I drove at ninety miles an hour all the way from Santa Cruz to Palo Alto. Dominican Hospital in Soquel was only a few miles away but I knew that Stanford Medical would have a twenty-four psychiatrist on call.

I begged her to admit me because I realized I was well on my way to putting David Koresh completely to shame. She agreed to admit me, but only because I had the delusion I knew what to do what David Koresh did. They refused to discharge me because I told them I could make schizophrenics stop hallucinating. They released me the very next day because I told them I needed to get a job.

All that was required to hurl me headlong into twenty-six years of the most irretrievable kind of batshit insanity was to read just the first chapter of Drama of the Gifted child - "How We Become Psychotherapists" - then discuss it with the Intro to Psychology class I enrolled in when, completely out of nowhere and for no apparent reason, I switched my major from Literature to Physics.

The only human being on the entire planet in the entire time since my change of major who didn't regard that as the most batshit insane act of my entire existence was Richard Feynman. Feynman was a Theoretical Physicist and a Nobel Laureate. He is one of the most insightful people to have ever set foot on the Caltech campus: when the committee that investigated the the first space shuttle explosion struggled desperately to cover up the reason it exploded, Feynman got so pissed off that he made the reason plainly transparent to the entire United States Congress with a glass of ice water and a small rubber O-Ring. When rubber gets cold, you see, it hardens, so when you bend it it doesn't flex it, it breaks.

When it got real cold the night before the launch, the engineer to designed the O-Rings that sealed the sections between each of the shuttle's solid rocket boosters immediately alerted his superiors to the danger, but Morton Thiokol didn't pass the word on to NASA.

Seven completely innocent and incredibly brave astronauts gave their lives, the American taxpayers paid billions of dollars and America lost one-fourth of its shuttle fleet because Morton Thiokol was concerned it might not be able to bring home the bacon anymore.

As I returned to Ricketts House on my way back from my changing my major, I came across Feynman walking with my good friend Tsutomu Shimomura. Tsutomu left his family during high school so he could do original research work at the Princeton Astronomy Department while working a part-time job as a hundred dollar an hour computer consultant. I always got better grades than Tsutomu did because he never bothered with any of his classwork, but devoted his time at Tech to original Theoretical Physics research, much of it in collobaration with Richard Feynman.

Tsutomu, at the time, was a Japanese citizen. The Manhattan Project was a collobaration with the British, with scientists from several other nations in Los Alamos as well, but when word got out about the napkin sketches that Klaus Fuchs would pass to Julius and Ethel Rosenberg when they met for coffee in Los Alamos now and then during the war, Congress outlawed giving any kind of foreigner nuclear weapons secrets.

Word eventually got out that Tsutomu was really into Physics, so every weapons lab in the entire United States started hurling job offers at him. After accepting one such offer, the United States Congress passed a law granting Tsutomu - and only Tsutomu - a Q Clearance, the kind required to do nuclear weapons design.

To the best of my knowledge, Tsutomu never got his Doctorate, but doesn't hold any manner of college degree. After leaving his work in the weapons biz, he took up residence at the San Diego Computer Center as a Research Physicist.

When I pointed out that I had learned all the Physics I needed to know, and so had changed my major to Literature, Tsutomu became so completely convinced that I was delusional that I have only seen him on two other occassions since our chat there on campus.

One was when I visited him at his place in San Diego, where Tsutomu invited me to play with the Sun Workstation in his living room. Kevin Mitnick played with that same computer some time later, then left a message on Tsutomu's answering machine to thank him for his kindness. But by not asking for permission first, only a few months were required for Tsutomu to do for the FBI what the FBI had struggled desperately for years, yet failed to do for themselves.

Every Caltech student regarded Feynman as a Heaven-Sent Diety because he felt it was far more important to teach Physics than to understand Physics. There is a sculpture of Heaven over the entrance to the Dabney House courtyard. God's face look just like Feynman's.

I got to know Richard Feynman my freshman year at Caltech. When I took Quantum Mechanics, I understood it well enough to do well in my homework, but regarded at as completely delusional because I was heavily into the Newtonian idea of the Clockwork Universe. Only a few months of discussing with Feynman chalkboard diagrams of a simple experimental apparatus known as the Two Slit Experiment consisting of two narrow, parallel slits with some photographic film on one side and a pinpoint light source on the other not only convinced me that Quantum Mechanics was correct, but gave me a deep insight into it.

The reason I regard Feynman as a Heaven-Sent Diety is that he was able to have the same insight as I did, at the exact same time:

I needed to learn how to write, so I could write the essay I am now posting to the queue right now.

Feynman could solve systems of partial differential equations numerically just by thinking about doing so. It was his deep insight into numerical analsysis led the Manhattan Project to have Feynman lead the Los Alamos Computing Division despite the fact that he was just a graduate student in his early twenties. Feynman went on to enable the Manhattan project to design both kinds of atomic bombs - the Uranium assembly bomb and the Plutonium implosion bomb - so that both kinds worked on the very first try and to detonate with such collossal force that the Trinity Test - a Plutonium bomb - knocked a man completely flat to the ground at a distance of ten miles.

Just have a bunch of smart guys hang out in a big room for a year or so with tables of logarithms and mechanical adding machines.

That's It.

Feynman's wife lay dying of Lymphatic Tuberculosis in a hospital in Alberquerque most of time he was at Los Alamos. Her illness was diagnosed during their engagement. His entire family completely disowned him when he married her anyway. Thier wedding took place with no witnesses in a Justice of the Peace's office. At the end of their ceremony, he gave her a quick peck on the cheek.

I can see now that, despite being Jewish, Feynman quite likely had the delusion that he was Jesus Christ as well. That's probably why he and I got to be such good friends at Tech.

Feynman's buddy Klaus Fuchs rode along with him whenever he went to visit Ms. Feynman so he could hang out with his friends Julius and Ethel Rosenberg during the Feynman's visits together. It was Klaus' pencil sketches of the explosive lenses that he drew of the Plutonium bomb that got the Rosenberg's executed.

It was the fact that Klaus Fuchs split the scene completely at the end of the war that spared his life: while Klaus was still convicted, it was not for treason. During the War, the Soviets were British allies.

J. Edgar Hoover wondered who might have asked Fuchs to accompany Richard Feynman when he went to visit his wife. Eventually a couple of soldiers turn up in J. Robert Oppenheimer's office to guard the safe in that office like a hawk with fully loaded machine guns.

While he did lose his security clearance, Oppenheimer never actually got convicted. Decades later Mikhail Gorbachev finally clued humanity into the fact that those two soldiers were hanging out in his office, and the Rosenburgs got convicted, and Klaus Fuchs knew when to split the scene that yes, in fact, J. Robert Oppenheimer did agree with the completely reasonble request that Josef Stalin made of him over coffee one afternoon, to find some way to figure out how to avoid the entire Soviet Union from having to become a radioactive wasteland by the mid 1950's.

"I'll have my man Klaus Fuchs accompany Dick Feynman when he visits his wife in the hospital. Have some of your people meet him while he draws sketches as they have coffee together."

Every American understands that Mikhail Gorbachev's deep insight is what finally lead him to launch every ICBM in the Soviet Nuclear Arsenal, not at America, but at the Berlin Wall. In reality, the reason he did so it that every form of life in the entire Soviet Union struggled desperately to find a shotgun so it could spatter its brain's all over the wall the very instant Ronald Reagan got elected:

Despite the fact Ronald Reagan solved the Central American problem in much the same way as Adolf Hitler solved the Jewish Problem. Reagan was so incredibly charming, friendly, and such a gifted speaker that he could fuck up in such a creativily and Divinely Inspired way that if Reagan so much as tripped over a banana peel, everyone in sight would leap on that banana peel, because they knew that would make them two hundred million dollars when that same banana peel was later sold by an Avante-Garde Manhattan Art Gallery.

A few years after the fall of Communism, I read an article that a former Soviet spy wrote for Time Magazine: the very instant Reagan got elected he was hurled with the greatest force from Moscow to London doing much the same thing that enabled a certain Washington D.C. Domino's Pizza to realize that the first Persian Gulf War had just started.

When the decision was made to commence the invasion of Iraq, everyone in the entire Pentagon sat up all night long setting the war into motion. A certain four star general asked his aide to step over. "I'm getting hungry. Could you send out for a pizza? Pepperoni and olives, please."

This spy spent Reagan's each night of Reagan's entire presidency sitting quietly just across the street from the British Defense Ministry building counting how many had their lights turned on. This would enable the Soviet Union to completely vaporize all of Western Europe, the United States and Canada before the completely mind-alteringly state of delusion that Reagan had been living in since the day he was born would enable him to win the war that the Book of Revelation explains will eventually lead to Jesus' return to Earth for the Second Coming, thereby bringing about The End of Time.

Ever since Regan was Governor of California, it has been plainly apparent why he joined the high school theater. The reason American regarded Reagan as the Teflon President was that he was such a gifted actor. Reagan lived in a world of delusion that puts Adolf Hitler completely to shame: he was able to quite clearly, carefully and lucidly explain in such a way that even the simplest fool in the Communist World knew why Reagan felt to be a Heaven Sent Prophet, yet lead everyone in the entire Free World to regard him as a gifted actor:

In the 38th chapter of Ezekiel, it says that the land of Israel will come under attack by the armies of the ungodly nations, and it says that Libya will be among them. Do you understand the significance of that? Libya has now gone Communist, and that's a sign that the day of Armageddon isn't far off.

Biblical scholars have been saying for generations that Gog must be Russia...

For the first time ever, everything is in place for the battle of Armageddon and the Second Coming of Christ. It can't be too long now. Ezekiel says that fire and brimstone will be rained upon the enemies of God's people. That must mean that they will be destroyed by nuclear weapons.

-- California Governor Ronald Wilson Reagan, addressing a banquet for State Senator James Mills, 1971.

Then later:

We may be the generation that sees Armageddon.

-- Presidential candidate Ronald Wilson Reagan during 1980 interview by televangelist Jim Bakker.

After winning the election, Reagan had televangelists over to the White House on a regular basis for National Security briefings. Can you understand now, why Gorbachev dropped all those Hydrogen Bombs not on Washington, D.C., Paris and London but on the Berlin Wall.

My cousing Glen Thobe is on my mother's side of the family. While much older than me, he is actually from my generation. Because he is so shy and quiet and because of the way he dresses, you'd figure my cousin Glen was a bus driver. But you'd be making much the same mistake about Glen's occuption as you would be making about Richard Feynman, when it became plainly apparent the very instant Feynman opened his mouth that he was a taxi driver.

Glen has a degree in Physics and works as the most advanced kind of Electrical Engineer, generally on Global Positioning System receivers.

Ever since my Cousin Glen pointed out to someone he met one day that happened to work for the State Department that he was good at Russian, it was plainly apparent everyone in the entire Free World's Diplomatic Community how to finally bring about the fall of Communism: send Cousin Glen on an all-expensive paid vacation to the Soviet Union.

Much of what finally enabled me to finally realize that reason that I flipped out at Caltech was not in any way the result of any kind of mental illness, but the fact that the most incredible drug lab on the face of the planet Earth commenced operation at the California Institute of Technology in plain sight of the entire Pasadena City Police force the very instant news of Albert Hoffman's discovery of LSD-25, as well as its synthesis arrived in Pasadena.

Despite the fact that the source of all the LSD on the entire West Coast of the United States turned up in a room in Lloyd House during the 1960s, and despite purchasing several police helicopters at collossal expense then slowly circling them all over the the Caltech campus night, sweeping the entire campus after night the entire time I was at Caltech - and, I'm quite sure, ever since - the Pasadena not only never busted any more laboratories, by the time I showed up in September 1982, the entire city of Pasadena was in a collective hallucingenic drug trip that all you have to do to flip completely out is to set foot on the Caltech campus, and that all that was required to send me to the Andromeda Galaxy for twenty-eight years was to hang out on campus.

Now see if you can figure out why, when I finally realized this, I attempted to alert the Portland office of the Federal Bureau of Intelligence by writing a thirty-page, lucidly and transparently written, incredibly detailed letter with a great deal of supporting evidence, literature references and a few website links, when I showed up at their office in Downtown Portland, after I picked up the phone and said I wanted to tip them off to a hallucinogenic drug laboratory, the agent told me that they were closed, and that I should come back the next day.

I required a good solid twenty minutes to penetrate the Portland FBI's stone fortress with my letter. When I was finally able to do so, three agents were completely overcome with joy at my incredible bravery. I chatted with them about it for about ten minutes, then came back this morning so I could discuss it with them personally.

I had to struggle desperately for at least ten minutes just to get them to unlock the door. When they finally agreed to, they didn't actually do so: the agent kept thinking he had pushed the button, but didn't. Two or three minutes were required before I was finally able to convince him to actually unlock the door. The instant I set foot in the place, an agent told me that they had accepted my information, then politely asked me to leave. When I tried to explain, he said it was not a federal matter, then pointed out that I was on drugs and that I was hallucinating.

I smiled, "Thanks for your help," I replied, then headed back to Starbucks by my mom's place to tip off, not the law enforcement community, but Kuro5hin.

By the time I showed up in 1982, vast quantities of the most incredibly high quality of every recreational chemical known to the scientific community had been either synthesised or grown at the California Institute with wild abandon by not quite every student, but almost all of them, that the Caltech student's legendary genius managed to send every law enforcement officer in the entire United States completely flipping out of their trees in a mind-alteringly psychotic, totally batshit insane hallucinogen drug trip.

You could have solved the world hunger problem with the pizza toppings my classmates grew in their closets, but only once the entire time I was there, my classmate did not find DMT, DMT found my classmate. After pointing out that smoking DMT was just like smoking burning plastic, the DMT explained to my classmate that he had the wrong number of arms, legs, fingers and toes. My classmate instantly agreed, but found himself completely overcome with the worst horror in his entire existence, when he couldn't figure out why.

You might regard me as brave, but you don't know Caltech students the way I do. While I expect many Caltechs will read this essay, not only do I not expect them to become angry, I am quite confident that none of them will have the first clue as to what I'm referring to.

The only Caltech students that I am aware of who have ever been arrested for any kind of drug crime was that Llloyd House acid lab.

Some friends of mine had the idea that they might create a hundred foot shower of sparks by packing a three foot long steel water pipe with Eucalyptus gum, steel lathe turnings and some kind of oxidizer. They set it out in the middle of Caltech's athletic field, then lit the fuse. I was on the other side of California Boulevard on my way to watch the fun when that pipe bomb's collossal detonation, I am quite certain, could be heard at the Pasadena City Police heardquarters about three miles away.

Convinced they had all gotten themselves killed, I ran as fast as I could in hopes I might save their lives somehow. A piece of that pipe fell right next to me as I crossed California Boulevard a hundred yards from the explosion. I was overcome with the most incredible joy when I arrived at a smoking crater in the middle of the athletic field that was at least a foot and a half across, that not only were bloody chunks of all three of my friends not scattered all over the place, they had split the scene completely.

I waited quietly for five minutes or so. Eventually a Caltech security guarded turned up to ask what the noise was. When he explained he said, "Just having fun," then wandered back to campus.

I split the scene completely the very instant I hear someone speaking with the slightest trace of a Southern Accent: everyone I have been able to identify on both sides of my whole extended family have been, each in their own special way, either Divinely Inspired Geniuses, or to possess the same kind kind of Divinely Inspired insight into Genocide that Reagan had about Central Americans, that Adolf Hitler had about Jews, that President Johnson had about the North Vietnamese, and a few years later enabled President Nixon to understand that the best way to help the Cambodian people escape their crushing poverty was to donate every penny in the United State's Treasury to Pol Pot's election campaign.

I am a direct descendant of Roger Sherman. There is a famous painting of the signing of the Declaration of Independence depicting four of the signers standing before the signing table; that same painting is also on back of a particular United States currency denomination. Roger is the tall guy with the tall forehead.

But I guard from every Southerner in the exact same way and for the exact same reason that Teller guarded the H-Bomb secret the fact that I am also a direct descendant of General William Tecumseh Sherman. You probably figure that the reason is that it was General Sherman who finally figured out how the North might win the Civil War. No: it is because every Southerner regards Grandpa Sherman the same way as every Jew regards Adolf Hiter and every Cambodian regards Pol Pot.

Grandpa Sherman's deep love for the Southern people and the reverent awe with each he regarded the genteel Southern culture gave him the insight to enable him to understand how the Northern people might win back the friendship of the Southern people: tear a huge, broad swath all over the entire Southern United States, savagely and mercilessly destroying everthing and murdering everyone in his path.

It was Grandpa Sherman's Heaven Sent insight that lead to so many Southerners dying in the Civil War. The Civil War was just as destructive to the United States as World War II was to Europe. It took well over a century before before the bleeding from the wounds every Southerner suffering from the great gift Grandpa bestowed them finally stopped bleeding.

While many unsuccessful tries were required before Edward Teller figured out how to light the Hydrogen Bomb's match, they knew they were well on their way to the insight they were required when some concrete was mixed not out of cement, sand and rocks, but cement, steel punching and steel ore, then allowed to set in a large box after a narrow piece of pipe that reached halfway through was placed in the middle of the box. The box was taken to a Pacific Island, placed on a tilted platform carefully pointed directly at one of Teller's prototypes quite some distance away.

The small piece of plastic in the middle of that box's heavy radioactive shielding was carefully removed right after the test, then carefully studies by a Physicist through a powerful microscope.

"Hot Damn!" he shouted with joy, upon finding that piece of plastic film completely shot through by tracks left by the particles that were the result of the Hydrogen fusion that sent some of its people round to have a chat with a piece of plastic buried deeply inside a box made of an incredibly heavy concrete.

The entire city of Livermore, California was completely overcome with horror when they finally realize they might know to to light that that match. The popping sound of the first Hydrogen Bomb's Firecracker made the entire city of Livermore, California to be thrown headlong into deeply delusional, mind-altering batshit paranoia when it actually worked.

Edward Teller hopped on a plane for a non-stop flight to Washington D.C. then asked his secretary if the President had a few minutes to spare. "We need to create a new kind of security clearance. The very existence of that kind of clearance must be classified as well. To leak the very existence of this kind of classification should be considered Capital Treason." The president need no explanation whatsoever.

You will easily understand why the entire planet was thrown headlong into the most delusional kind of paranoid, batshit psychosis when, not long afterwards, a seismograph in the United States was able to easily detect the pop of a firecracker all the way from the Soviet Union, then, a few laters later, China as well.

Not only did the United States carefully guard the Hydrogen Bomb's secret, they went to all kinds of effort to carefully, clearly and so lucidly explain how the Hydrogen Bomb worked in such a way as to enable the simplest fool to understand in great detail how the Hydrogen, but actually be so far from reality to as to be delusional.

Magazines and encyclopedias from the 1950's are filled with diagrams of the complex structure of the hydrogen bomb, typically depicting several Plutonium bombs inside a large container of Lithium Deuteride that all detonate at the exact same time. That's how my own encyclopedia enabled me to understand Hydrogen bombs myself while I was still a young boy.

"It's that simultaneous detonation," Edward Teller himself carefully explained to the reporters at the press conference that morning in Livermore, "That finally enabled us to heat the Hydrogen nuclei hot enough so they would actually fuse."

The entire nation of Pakistan was thrown headlong into a completely altered state of reality in 1974 when a certain Hindu diety paid a personal visit to the Prime Minister of India to explain a way to make India's neighbor quit bitching about the fence between their yards. The entire nation of India was thrown into a similar reality Pakistan refused to heed their advice so they decided to bury a half-dozen or so Plutonium firecrackers at the exact same time.

"We need to talk," said the Prime Minister of Pakistan when he rang up the Prime Minister of India just a few days later.

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

You think I'm crazy? No I'll show you crazy: my batshit insanity can't even hold a candle to that experienced by the Prime Minister of India when he heard Pakistan's fireworks over the phone.

In reality, a large, hollow metal shell shaped like a pill capsule has a Plutonium bomb at one end, the rest of it being filled with styrofoam whose hydrogen molecules are Deuterium - a Proton and a Neutron - and Tritium - a Proton and two Neutrons. A round bar of Plutonium goes through the middle of the styrofoam from the Plutonium bomb most of the way through the styrofoam. After the bomb's detonation, the metal casing reflects the X-Rays emitted by the Plutonium fission back into the styrofoam, which vaporizes with such incredible force that it implodes that Plutonium rod.

Teller was correct in that more than one Plutonium bomb was. But he struggled desperately to prevent the Soviets to get the first clue how to arrange them inside all that styrofoam.

Tritium's twelve-year half-life was the reason they were testing Hydrogen bombs on a regular basis until the US stopped testing completely when they were finally able to build a computer powerful enough, and software complex enough to model the entire process of an H-Bomb explosion in great detail: Tritium's two neutrons enable Hydrogen fusion to even happen, but it's quick decay makes Hydrogen bombs extremely unreliable.

Los Alamos knew from the start that Uranium assembly would work: shoot a Uranium slug from a cannon through a Uranium ring thereby quickly assembling a piece of the required size. They never even bothered testing the Uranium bomb. The first one in history completely vaporized the City of Hiroshima.

They knew from the start that Plutonium would go on to make a few cubic feet of hydrogen make Moscow shine, just for a short while, as bright as the Sun does. Beijing would shine in much the same way. Both Uranium and Plutonium have the same nuclear cascade reaction, but Plutonium's is far more powerful and accellerates with such tremendous force that they also knew from the start why they need to implode it instead: the two piece of Plutonium would completely vaporize long before they got around to so much as introducing themselves to each other.

While they did know that surrounding a piece of Plutonium the size of a baseball with a layer of explosive about a foot and a half thick would lead to the required implosion, but some guy had to spend about a year snapping X-Rays of collossal detonations wrapped around steel baseballs before they realized that the way to make them implode rather than squirting out all over everywhere in thin jets of Plutonium vapor was to use explosive lenses.

Two kinds of explosives are used, one with a very fast detonation, one with a very slow one. With great care, the most talented artists sculpts each kind in a certain precise, certain specific way, then carefully assembles them around a Plutonium baseball in a spherical way.

Perhaps know you can understand the incredible terror felt by the guy who X-Rayed those beautiful sculptures just a day or two before the Trinity test only to find large air bubbles all over the inside of every single one of those high explosive art pieces. He stayed awake for an entire night, very slowly, very carefully, drilling holes through the explosive, melting that same kind of high explosive on a stove in a soup pot, then pouring it into the holes through a funnel.

You'll go batshit insane if you so much as contemplate the terror felt by the guy who gave the Hiroshima bomb one last inspection before its delivery so as to be sure that the people of Hiroshima wouldn't just toss it in the junk mail bin. Because of the bomb's large size, he had to lay right on on top of it while he carefully used a soldering iron to remove the connectors from both ends of a certain electrical wire, reverse them, then solder them back on.

A hundred thousand citizens of Hiroshima were completely overcome with joy within a tiny fraction of a second, but it took well over twenty years for the other hundred thousand people to even understand that a beautiful greeting card had arrived in their mail box that morning.

A few days later J. Robert Oppenheimer called over to Nagasaki to see how its day was going.

No one at the Instite was particularly concerned when I flipped out with such incredible velocity, just one week after discussing just the first chapter of my psychology book with my psychology class, I asked my friend Bruce Tiemann if I could borrow his expensive Canon A-1 camera. I knew I was hallucinating and that these visions were the product of my own fevered imagination. I explained that fact in great detail to Bruce, but he agreed to lend me his brother Michael Tiemann's camera because we were both so delusional as to think I could photograph them.

When the visions didn't show up in the prints, I purchased several professional photography textbooks, learned to develop and print my own film in the student darkroom, then within two months, was able to leave the most advanced professional photographer completely dumbstruck with awe with the most primitive kind of fully manual camera. Every professional photograph has a nostalgic affection for the Pentax K-1000, but they never use them for their work. My first K-1000 didn't even have a light meter. It was over twenty years after digital camera were first introduced to the public that I regarded them as working well enough to actually buy one. The Sony camera I eventually bought is so incredibly complex that it could win an aerial dogfight just by pointing it out the fighter plane's cockpit window. I set it to fully manual mode and have yet to so much as open the instruction book.

Michael Tiemann and I had the exact same idea of bringing Richard Stallman's Free Software to the private companies of Silicon Valley at the exact same time. Despite fully appreciating what a great idea for a business it was, I never lifted a finger to do more than contemplate it. I was completely dumbstruck with awe Michael Tiemman went on to sell Cygnus support to Red Hat for six hundred million during the Dot-Com boom, where he remains Chief Technical Officer to this day.

Apple Computer was completely unable to figure out how to find Cupertino on a map sketched on the back of an envelope whenever it so much as contemplated the idea of operating systems with preemptive multitasking and hardware memory protection. The company spent billions of dollars over a period of many years to do so, yet managed to fuck every single one of them up in such spectacularly creative and Divinely Inspired ways as to leave computer programmers who barely knew how to write Hello World completely dumbstruck with awe.

Perhaps you understand my claim that in reality, software bugs are not technical problems but human ones, and that the only truly satisfying way to Solve the Software Problem [] is not to fix the bugs, but to fix the humans.

When Jean-Louis finally realized the public would never accept a new hardware platform, he suggested the Apple give BeOS a try. When Apple accepted Steve Job's offer instead, I was not at all when I hard later that Jean-Louis then asked Michael Tiemann to lend him a hand.

I was completely dumbstruck with awe when I learned that Michael Tiemann had sold Cygnus Support to Red Hat for six million dollars where he remains Chief Technical Officer to this day. After I blew a smoking crater in the ground with my software consulting business, I came to regard the fact that I never acted on the idea that we both had as the worst fuckup of my entire career. It was only a few days ago that I realized why I made that mistake:

"Thanks for lending me such a nice camera," I said to Michael Tiemann back in 1989. "I've got this great idea for a business. Why don't I give it to you instead."

Simply learning that the North Koreans were working on The Bomb was all I required to be hurled headlong into the most incredibly floridly delusional kind of psychosis I have ever known as a result of my desperate struggle to warn humanity of the fact that all that was required to refine Uranium was to use ten percent of the electrical output of the entire United States during World War to power electromagnets made out of the United States Treasury's entire stockpile of silver for two years or so.

"We don't measure silver in tons," the United States Treasurer shouted angrily at the guy from Los Alamos who turned up one day to ask if they could borrow it until the end of the war. "We measure it in ounces."

All that is required to synthesis Plutonium is to use a Moonshine Still to distill enough water fill a swimming pool. The Hollywood movie Heroes of Telemark starring Kirk Douglas depicts what the British regard as the most successful act of sabotage during World War II: they snuck a bunch of Revenue Agents into Norway aboard a glider that landed on the snow with skis. After blowing the Moonshine Still to tiny little pieces, they also sunk a fully-loaded passenger ferry after Hitler tried to make off with his last bottle of Moonshine - but not until after the Commandoes ran all over the entire ferry cheerfully announcing to the kids that they were having a safety drill and so should don their life jackets.

Not long after the war, a swimming pool turned up in Germany. They found it odd that Hitler would bury a swimming pool so deeply underground, but were completely overcome with horror to find it one-third full of Moonshine.

Los Alamos tested Plutonium because there is some subtlety to implosion Physics that also lead to what Feynman referred to as Tickling the Tail of the Dragon. They fabricated two hemispherical pieces of Plutonium that, when placed together, would just be slightly below critical mass, fastened one about a foot off of the top of a table, with its flat side to the right, with the other arranged in such a way that when they let go of it, it would slide down the pole so that for a very short time it would form that just slightly subcritical mass.

The Physicists surrounded the two hemispheres with all manner of radiation detectors, but knew they would do well to split the scene completely before allowing them to slide past each other.

To Be Continued.

Re:what I learned at Cal Tech (1)

vegiVamp (518171) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550224)

Hmm. I guess Slashdot stores it's comments in CLOBs, then.

Re:what I learned at Cal Tech (1)

PouletFou (1221320) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550506)

Thank you, I finally found out what tldr stands for.

Re:what I learned at Cal Tech (1) (1265320) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550992)

tldr doesn't apply to novels. somebody will read it all, and I expect we'll have a book review on oprah this coming week.

Re:what I learned at Cal Tech (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32552210)

Can't wait for the slashdot review either. "Incoherent, boring, and pointless ramblings from a crackpot with an inflated ego. You will be forgiven for wondering if this was written by a perl script that mashed together a bunch of posts from alt.usenet.kooks. 7/10."

Nice to them (1)

WetCat (558132) | more than 4 years ago | (#32549896)

I like Oracle, its products and technologies and I am glad that its opensource products are gaining sales. I wish good luck to Oracle.

Re:Nice to them (2, Informative)

1s44c (552956) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550038)

I like Oracle, its products and technologies and I am glad that its opensource products are gaining sales. I wish good luck to Oracle.

I like Oracles's database, it's a great database with tons of features but it's pretty expensive. However the business software that oracle sells is a PITA.

Re:Nice to them (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32552280)

I think Java is a pretty cool guy. eh makes databaeses and doesnt afraid of anything.

Re:Nice to them (2, Insightful)

The Snowman (116231) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550062)

I like Oracle, its products and technologies and I am glad that its opensource products are gaining sales. I wish good luck to Oracle.

I like Oracle too, as long as someone else is the DBA. Installing Oracle, setting up a database, and getting it to a usable state is almost impossible without six months of training.

PostgreSQL, MySQL, even SQL Server are all much easier to get up and running in a usable configuration than Oracle. I don't mean slightly easier, either. If other databases are like putting a band-aid on a cut, Oracle is like brain surgery.

Re:Nice to them (1)

Anrego (830717) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550336)

I don't mean slightly easier, either. If other databases are like putting a band-aid on a cut, Oracle is like brain surgery.


I almost think oracle does this on purpose to drum up consulting fees or something. For such a powerful database product, all the tools around it are almost intentionally unintuitive and fragile.

Even connecting to oracle, arguably the simplest interaction with most databases, is more complicated. Most databases you just specify a hostname, username, and password.. oracle seems to insist on all manner of weird voodoo. Once you know that voodoo it's no problem.. but initially it's like "service name" .. wtf is that.. and what do you mean I have to add this to some config file!

Re:Nice to them (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32550726)

I know what you're saying, but at the same time I'm not sure it's a bad thing.

Completely anecdotal, but in my experience Oracle is more likely to be installed and configured "correctly" than the other databases. I think that's in large part because it's usually done by a professional DBA. That usually trickles down all the way to stuff like the table design and consistency constraints.

Re:Nice to them (1, Insightful)

NNKK (218503) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550826)

If every production database required an arrogant and overpriced Oracle shill to maintain it, nothing would ever get done.

Re:Nice to them (1)

mcvos (645701) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551256)

I like Oracle, its products and technologies and I am glad that its opensource products are gaining sales. I wish good luck to Oracle.

I like Oracle too, as long as someone else is the DBA. Installing Oracle, setting up a database, and getting it to a usable state is almost impossible without six months of training.

On every project where we've used Oracle, we ran into problems with it. Quite often, somewhere early in development, we used MySQL or something like that. At some point we move to production-like environment with Oracle, and it should be a simple matter of plugging in a different DB, but every single time, we suddenly find ourselves in a big mess where types don't quite fit or column names are too long or illegal or whatever.

Oracle might be really nice if it was just more powerful, rather than more restrictive.

Re:Nice to them (3, Informative)

jazzkat (901547) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551376)

This is because you're using MySQL to develop on. MySQL allows all manner of illegal hostnames and other bad programming practices in the name of "making things easier" for people who don't know any better.

If you developed using Postgres, or another more compliant database, most of these problems would go away.

Oh, bruther (4, Insightful)

hey! (33014) | more than 4 years ago | (#32549902)

What a non-story.

You use Oracle because you *have to*. Not because it is pretty.

Saying MySQL has pulled ahead of Oracle is like saying that claw hammers have pulled ahead of pneumatic hammers mounted on giant excavators.

Re:Oh, bruther (3, Insightful)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 4 years ago | (#32549976)

You use Oracle because you *have to*. Not because it is pretty.

Similar things have been said about MySQL. It's a de facto standard, which many view as being quite unfortunate in light of the competition.

Saying MySQL has pulled ahead of Oracle is like saying that claw hammers have pulled ahead of pneumatic hammers mounted on giant excavators.

Since MySQL got clustering it became capable of replacing Oracle in certain contexts. I don't have a tool-related metaphor handy but there are actually cases in which the comparison might not be so ridiculous.

Re:Oh, bruther (1)

hey! (33014) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552506)

In certain contexts, granted. And where you have such a context, by all means go for it if you like MySQL and are comfortable with it. I haven't used MySQL Cluster, but what I've read about it makes it seem pretty nifty. But I've also seen situations where MySQL even with clustering wouldn't work, particularly as transactions scale in complexity, not just volume.

Re:Oh, bruther (1)

mjwalshe (1680392) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550022)

and "database of choice among Eclipse developers." Oracle developers will be using TOAD or enterprise mangler (or what ever oracle is calling it now) if they are unlucky - dubious use of statistics there

Re:Oh, bruther (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32550078)

The phrase 'database of choice among Eclipse developers' made me raise an eyebrow too. But the rest of your comment, WTF? MySQL is an RDBMS. Oracle is an RDBMS. Toad is a database development tool. Enterprise Manager is a database management tool. You are talking apples and bananas to oranges. Huh?

Re:Oh, bruther (1)

buchner.johannes (1139593) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550254)

I disagree. Oracle makes a pretty good and fast database. They also offer a free version for OSS and small companies I believe.

Re:Oh, bruther (2, Insightful)

hey! (33014) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552360)

For what a lot of people use databases for (backing store for form entry) it really doesn't matter because you only use generic capabilities and work mostly in your IDE.

When it gets to really challenging database problems, it's a question of which fail comes first: the failure of the developer or admin using Oracle or the failure of MySQL to keep up with the application's needs. For example, if you need just a bit more performance, with MySQL your response is simple: get bigger iron. If it's not worth the price, you live with it. With Oracle you start looking into the manuals and contemplating playing with things only an expert Oracle DBA ought to mess with. Then if you get it wrong, it's *your* fail.

I think Oracle's a great product. If I was looking at a project where I had to choose between SQL Server and Oracle, I'd definitely go Oracle even if I had to pay twice the license fee. Oracle's transaction log management capabilities would be worth the price alone. Nobody does transaction isolation better than Oracle, either. But ye gods you can screw yourself messing around on one hand, or not paying enough attention on the other.

I've used both MySQL and Oracle, and I'm comfortable with Oracle, except I don't much like the company or its corporate culture (not that that matters if the question is MySQL vs. Oracle). I might be more comfortable handing off a MySQL project to another developer or manager.

Re:Oh, bruther (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32550390)

Saying MySQL has pulled ahead of Oracle is like saying that claw hammers have pulled ahead of pneumatic hammers mounted on giant excavators.

It sounds like the point is MySQL is growing faster than their main product, thus indicating devs aren't fleeing? Didn't RTFA though :) Personally I dropped MySQL for Postgres when I discovered MySQL couldn't do deferred foreign key constraints. No circular relationships makes me a saaaaad panda.

Re:Oh, bruther (1)

Kjella (173770) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550428)

You use Oracle because you *have to*. Not because it is pretty.

Oracle is past that and way into user-unfriendly in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, if you write queries that are exactly how Oracle likes them it's fast and solid, but I've worked with SQL Server, PostgreSQL and MySQL as well and the management tools are easier, the query optimizer is more flexible and the error messages more helpful. Particularly that Oracle wants queries their way, I've reused queries that run in seconds on SQL Server and take minutes on Oracle but hardly if ever the other way around. It can always be fixed by tweaking the query but it seems Oracle needs 10x as much tweaking as any other database. It makes Oracle DBA/devs their own little ivory tower and I'd love to see it come crumbling down, because they're floating on their own bubble of "nobody would dare run their ultra-critical systems on anything but Oracle".

Re:Oh, bruther (4, Insightful)

Score Whore (32328) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550672)

Don't get me wrong, if you write queries that are exactly how Oracle likes them it's fast and solid, but I've worked with SQL Server, PostgreSQL and MySQL as well and the management tools are easier, the query optimizer is more flexible and the error messages more helpful. Particularly that Oracle wants queries their way, I've reused queries that run in seconds on SQL Server and take minutes on Oracle but hardly if ever the other way around.

Treating the database as a black box is the problem, not the solution. At least if you're dealing with more than trivial amounts of data with trivial queries. It is amazing how many developers are shocked that their app, that worked perfectly on their desktop against their own personally installed database with, gosh, nearly two megabytes of data, completely falls over when deployed into against the eight terabyte production database.

In other words, a database isn't a replacement for thinking.

Re:Oh, bruther (1)

NNKK (218503) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550790)

Treating the database as a black box is the problem, not the solution.

Then the database is broken.

Re:Oh, bruther (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32551050)

Treating the database as a black box is the problem, not the solution.

Then the database is broken.

You, sir, are a clown.

Re:Oh, bruther (1) (1265320) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551066)

fucking eh to that!

I will NEVER understand where DBA's get off saying: "I poorly designed my database, so you have to use what I know to use it"

it frustrates the hell out of me that people REFUSE to change the way they approach situations. there's NEVER a situation that only has one solution.

Re:Oh, bruther (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32551118)

Don't be stupid. If the developer does a "SELECT * FROM TABLE_X" and it works fine on his 2MB database, you really think that'll be ok with a 2TB database? Or even a 2GB database?

Re:Oh, bruther (1)

NNKK (218503) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551836)

Don't be stupid. If the developer does a "SELECT * FROM TABLE_X" and it works fine on his 2MB database, you really think that'll be ok with a 2TB database? Or even a 2GB database?

Strawman and you know it. That would apply to any datastore, even a filesystem, and it has absolutely nothing to do with the asinine behavior of certain overpriced RDBMS products when the developer clearly asks for a specific subset of the data.

Re:Oh, bruther (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32551174)

Treating the database as a black box is the problem, not the solution.

Then the database is broken.

No, the database management system is not broken - the developers stopped thinking. Different implementation choices give rise to different behaviours. For instance, Oracles default with snapshot transaction isolation, mostly non-blocking reads and writes, as well as almost "no-cost" locking is quite different from SQL Servers read-commited transaction isolation level where readers block writers and vice versa (and resource expensive locks). In other words, running the same queries against the "same" database will give different results in the different database management systems. Oracle is arguably closer to the ideal but if you don't need to handle lots of concurrent transactions then SQL Server may have less overhead. The choice is yours but make that an informed decision and learn about the system you are using!

(rant mode)
In my 10+ years as a professional DBA I have found that the worst "abusers" of database management systems are (non-database) developers who stop thinking at their database access layer - or even before that. Persistence layers are bad but at least they shield the database management system from the worst abuse produced by developers.

Re:Oh, bruther (1)

NNKK (218503) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551776)

You've pretty much proved the point. A developer wants a tool that works. A "professional DBA" wants to lecture the developer on why what he's doing is theoretically impure.

In 4+ years of dealing with professional DBAs, I've never once met one that got anything done, and twice I've directly witnessed companies move away from Oracle specifically because the developers did a better job of accomplishing business goals with MySQL than the "professionals" did with Oracle.

The database isn't a black box. (1)

Estanislao Martnez (203477) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552248)

Treating the database as a black box is the problem, not the solution.

Then the database is broken.

No, the database has never been supposed to be a black box. It is a abstraction that divides the data management problem into two parts: the logical and the physical. The logical side, very roughly, is schema definitions and queries. The physical side is physical data arrangement, indexing, data statistics, cost-based optimization, etc. To get good performance of the database, you must be ready to use the tools provided on the physical side.

Re:Oh, bruther (3, Insightful)

Kjella (173770) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551636)

Well doh, that would be comparing blueberries to watermelons. But I've been been working with a product that supports both SQL Server and Oracle so production databases of about equal size, equal hardware and equal content. I develop queries to show something at one client site, then reuse it at a different client site with a different database system. In short, two equally smart database systems should perform about the same. What I'm saying is that in my experience Oracle often generates very poor execution plans, and fiddling with it to make Oracle do it "right" that others manage just fine on their own is not treating it as a black box, it's tedious and unnecessary micromanagement to overcome product shortcomings.

Re:Oh, bruther (3, Informative)

hey! (33014) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552726)

In short, two equally smart database systems should perform about the same.

Bingo. Ergo, something is wrong with your Oracle installations.

I've done the same, supported an application that is available for MS SQL, Oracle and Sybase Sql Anywhere. MS SQL and Oracle blow SQL Anywhere out of the water in performance, but in most situations you couldn't tell the difference.

From a developer's POV, SQL Anywhere was in most cases a pleasure to work with, Oracle was acceptable in most cases and outstanding in a few, and MS SQL was a horrible PITA. MS SQL doesn't even provide you with a utility to get a human readable dump of the transaction log, much less any way to use the transaction log in a complex recovery (unless you fancy working with page addresses). When a customer does something really stupid, and calls you up saying, "please, please make it like that never happened," it's as easy as rolling off a log in Oracle, practical in SQL Anywhere and not worth doing in MS SQL.

Re:Oh, bruther (2, Interesting)

hey! (33014) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552672)

MS SQL does a pretty good job optimizing common queries, but at a tremendous cost in orthogonality of T-SQL. I've also found limitations in MS SQL handling of very complex queries, but there is no question that on the kinds of queries that dominate in the vast majority of applications, MS SQL provides reliably good performance out of the box.

That's an engineering trade-off that works for lots of people.

That said, you're going about this the wrong way. The solution to generally inconsistent query performance is database administration, not tweaking. That's "user unfriendly" because it's a job for a DBA, not a user. Oracle gives you much, much more access to the innards of the system, and its stuff that even most tech savvy developers aren't really competent to play with.

Oracle should give comparable performance to MS SQL in most instances without tweaking. Certainly you shouldn't be seeing a difference of 10x in performance that you have to correct by tweaking. My guess is something is really really screwed up on the Oracle installation you were working with.

Finally you also have to evaluate the performance of the query under production conditions, not developer conditions: many large tables simultaneously handling heavy update loads with lots of concurrency issues. The results you are talking about are so screwy, though, it's clear that you've got a really mis-configured system.

Re:Oh, bruther (3, Interesting)

14erCleaner (745600) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550596)

Furthermore, this is a survey of Eclipse users, not all database users. Developers using a free framework prefer a free database. Surprise!

Re:Oh, bruther (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32552068)

Saying MySQL has pulled ahead of Oracle is like saying that claw hammers have pulled ahead of pneumatic hammers mounted on giant excavators.

You sure about that?

flat files are like claw hammers
mysql is like a hand held pneumatic hammer
mysqli cluster is like an army of workers with hand held pneumatic hammers
Oracle is like an army of union works with hand help pneumatic hammers

Given the above one can conclude that MySQL pulling ahead of Oracle is like saying union works have fallen behind non-union workers.

Hey, look (2, Insightful)

Megaweapon (25185) | more than 4 years ago | (#32549912)

An InfoWorld submitter submits a non-story about Oracle/MySQL on Slashdot. A Slashvertisement for an advertisement.

Re:Hey, look (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32549990)

I don't know if it is just me, but I have always found the ___World sites to be some of the worst, most slanted, sensationalistic and useless tech news sites around.

And that's tough considering sites like Gizmodo.

Re:Hey, look (1)

Miseph (979059) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551192)

I always cringe going to a website with a name that starts with "gizm". Well, not always, but if I'm looking for tech news or whatever, then yeah... especially anything related to iProducts.

Re:Hey, look (1)

$RANDOMLUSER (804576) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550352)

And the InfoWorld story is about the findings from the "2010 Eclipse User Survey", which is a pretty self-selective sample in and of itself: if you're using Eclipse, you're obviously NOT targeting Windows exclusively, you have the OPTION to use Desktop Linux, you have the OPTION to use MySQL, etc.

But what will Oracle do? (1)

Voulnet (1630793) | more than 4 years ago | (#32549956)

Now that MySQL is in the firm hand of Oracle, what can Oracle do in the future to either suppress MySQL's progress or merge it with its money-sucking schemes?

Re:But what will Oracle do? (1)

$RANDOMLUSER (804576) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550170)

I have to admit, I LOL'ed when I read:

MySQL has some properties that Oracle does not," Screven said in an interview with InfoWorld before the keynote speech. "It's small, it's easy to install. It's easy for developers to get going with it."

I know I've installed Oracle dozens of times - on the same machine.

What Oracle could do is provide an easy migration path from MySQL to Oracle DB, so one could develop/deploy on MySQL, and move to full Oracle when traffic/size warrants. Just being able to use the same "create table/index/stored procedure" scripts on both databases would be a nice (OK, godsend) feature, using the same DAO objects is probably dreaming on my part.

Re:But what will Oracle do? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32550980)

It does -you can migrate from MySQL to Oracle using SQL Developer.

Re:But what will Oracle do? (1)

tomhath (637240) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550182)

If MySQL meets your needs you wouldn't consider Oracle. If your application is successful enough that you need help scaling out a heavy duty DBMS solution, the guys who are supporting MySQL will be happy to send out a "consultant" to suggest alternatives.

And what do you suppose they will suggest?

Re:But what will Oracle do? (2, Funny)

Voulnet (1630793) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550252)

Lemme take a wild guess.... MSSQL??

actual numbers (1)

larry bagina (561269) | more than 4 years ago | (#32549958)

The write up in the summary is useless. In 2009, MySQL and Oracle usage was 27.7% and 27.3%, respectively. In 2010, it is 31.8% and 21.8%, respectively. This was a community survey of 1696 people (in 2010), 1481 in (2009)

More interesting (to me, at least) -- despite all the talk about how awesome git is, svn usage was more or less unchanged, increasing from 57.5 to 58.3%. Git went from 2.4% to 6.8%.

Re:actual numbers (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32551276)

What's surprising about it? git is very good and svn is crap but the eclipse plugings for git are immature compared to those targetting svn, so of course very few eclipse users will use git

Re:actual numbers (1)

Chibi Merrow (226057) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551726)

The Eclipse plugin for SVN is one of the most godawful pieces of crap I've ever seen, though. When we moved from CVS to SVN I couldn't understand why the other developers in our shop were complaining that "Subversion is slow!" when I always found it blazingly fast. They were using the Eclipse plugin, while I was using the command line tools. Yech.

postgres didn't do so badly (4, Interesting)

MagicMerlin (576324) | more than 4 years ago | (#32549960)

11%...edging out ms sql server! Postgres 9.0 has built in replication -- it will be interesting to see how that affects its share of the open source db space.

Re:postgres didn't do so badly (1)

1s44c (552956) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550096)

11%...edging out ms sql server! Postgres 9.0 has built in replication -- it will be interesting to see how that affects its share of the open source db space.

Postgres has been in continual development for decades longer than MS SQL server. Postgres is a far better quality product than Microsoft's effort plus it's free.

The only reason to use MS SQL for anything new is if you are getting bribes from a Microsoft salesman.

Re:postgres didn't do so badly (3, Informative)

MagicMerlin (576324) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550426)

Postgres has traditionally had lousy replication options. This of course is going to change with 9.0 hs/sr. Older versions of postgres (pre 8.x) had some operational difficulties that made it an awkward fit for high transaction load web environments. Now that those downsides are pretty much eliminated, it's about the best general purpose sql database out there -- it has many niceties/features that are rare/non-existent elsewhere. Transactional ddl for example.

Re:postgres didn't do so badly (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32552448)

One other of the "rare" examples of transactional ddl is SQLite.

Re:postgres didn't do so badly (1)

Billly Gates (198444) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552652)

SQL Server does integrate quite well with ADO and .NET environments with Microsoft Ecosystems. Hate it all you want but many I.T. mangers standardized on Microsoft a decade ago and wont consider anything else. If you are stuck in an ms environment and SQL Server is already free with your $$$$ VS.Net licenses then why not use it?

Re:postgres didn't do so badly (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32550216)

PostgreSQL is so much better in so many ways, I can't really understand why so many use MySQL (unless they're using a LAMP app that is heavily tied to MySQL).

Postgres (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32550666)

11%...edging out ms sql server! Postgres 9.0 has built in replication -- it will be interesting to see how that affects its share of the open source db space.

Year of the Postgres Desktop here we come!

Re:postgres didn't do so badly (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32551258)

It didn't have standard replication before. WTF?

Re:postgres didn't do so badly (1)

Billly Gates (198444) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552632)

SQL Server is not supported by JDBC unless you use a proprietary driver. Eclipse is strictly a java editing tool at this point even if you can use it for other things (I do not know of anyone who does) and this would explain the low SQL Server usage. I have not programmed in Java for years so maybe my knowledge is outdated.

If you look at VS.NET usage I bet its all 70% SQL Server with Oracle taking 20%. Its all based on the environment.

Fears (1)

Voulnet (1630793) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550050)

The 'fears' surrounding Oracle's acquisition of MySQL hadn't stopped people from using it because let's be honest; most developers don't know about that/don't know the consequences/aren't familiar with other free databases. The developers, much like the users they like to call 'lusers'; also look for convenience and try to work in what they're familiar with. That's why many developers who know very well Microsoft's ways still use their technologies; it's what they're used to and change takes time and adaptation efforts. The past few months since the acquisition have been filled with news about Apple, Apple, Google, Apple vs Amazon, Apple vs Adobe, Microsoft, Apple vs Google... It's no wonder many developers don't even KNOW about Oracle acquiring Sun.

Re:Fears (1)

mustafap (452510) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550228)

>most developers don't know about that/don't know the consequences/aren't familiar with other free databases

Really? That's rather disingenuous. I know plenty of Java developers ( the type who are in between McDonalds jobs ) who are familiar with MySQL.

Re:Fears (1)

Voulnet (1630793) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550272)

Dude, I meant many developers don't know about Oracle's acquisition of MySQL; not that developers don't know about MySQL. Come on, now.

Re:Fears (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32551172)

Heh he must be a java developer. Don't forgive him ;).

Re:Fears (1)

mustafap (452510) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551564)

So you should have written

"many developers don't know about Oracle's acquisition of MySQL"

rather than

"most developers don't know about that/don't know the consequences/aren't familiar with other free databases"

Apologies that I cannot read your mind.

Re:Fears (1)

Voulnet (1630793) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552484)

The sentence is crystal clear: "The 'fears' surrounding Oracle's acquisition of MySQL hadn't stopped people from using it because let's be honest; most developers don't know about that" It takes guts to admit you're wrong. You have none.

Jews for Nerds! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32550058)

Jews, also known as kikes, hebes, hymies, yids, gold niggers, oven magnets, hook noses, sheenies, swindlers, criminals, "firewood", and Arabs in denial are a subhuman species of reptilian extra-terrestrials and adherents to one of the world's oldest major religions, called "Judaism", otherwise known as "The Worship of Money" or "Eating Arab Babies".

Judaism was the world's first master race theory. The Jew religion teaches that Jews are the Chosen People of God and that there is a sacred mystical quality to Jew DNA. In olden times, Jew prophets would, under the command of YHWH, frequently lead the Jews on genocidal rampages against neighboring populations, and even today Jew leaders often cite Jewish religious ideals to justify their ongoing genocide of sandniggers. Judaism ironically found its mirror-image inversion in the anti-Jew Aryan racialism of the Nazis.

Despite only being 0.22% of the world's population, Jews control 99% of the world's money. Not only do the Jews control the world, but also the media, the banks, the space program, and LiveJournal's porn communities and Gay communities. All Jews possess the following features: an extremely large nose, fake boobs, curly hair that reeks of faggotry, one of those gay hats, a love of coke, a law practice, a roll of money, a small cock, or shitty taste in dental hygiene.

Jews invented both Communism and Capitalism. Karl Marx, of course, was a Jew, which was why he understood money so well, and in fact he was converted to Communism by another Jew, Moses Hess, the actual founder of Zionism, who ghost-wrote Marx's The German Ideology. Capitalism was created when Christian Europeans threw away their morals and decided to embrace Jewish practices like usury (see: John Calvin). Jews were the first group to create a sophisticated banking system, which they used to fund the Crusades in order to pit Christians and Muslims (both adhering to religions derived from and controlled by Jews) against each other to kill as many people as possible in a macabre human sacrifice to YHWH.

The Jew banking system was based on fraud and lies, so when it inevitably collapsed, the Jews just pwned as many people as possible by unleashing the Black Plague on them. Later, Jews economically controlled medieval Venice (the first modern maritime trade empire), and then crypto-Jewish merchants economically controlled the Spanish Empire, including the slave trade. Openly Jewish bankers orchestrated the Dutch Empire and founded Jew Amsterdam (later Jew York). Later the Dutch Jews moved to London because they thought it would be a better base for a global empire, and actually brought a Dutch nobleman, William III, with them, who they installed in a coup d'état (more like Jew d'état, amirite?) as new King of the British Empire. For hundreds of years, Jewish bankers controlled global trade through their bases in Jew York City and London. European colonialism was, through its history, essentially a plot whereby Jews could gain control of gold and diamond mines in poor countries and increase their stranglehold over the global economy.

Jews also enjoy slicing up baby penises for fun, some even enjoy sucking them. See below.

Jews also created Jew search engine Google, so now they can find all Jew information on Internets.

Some suggest that we should use Jews instead of dogs to sniff out large amounts of concealed cash or anything else worth smuggling at airports due to their sensitive Jew noses. Obviously, this is a horrible idea, because the pay is bad, and the dirty Kikes would probably form a union and demand moar money, thus increasing the burden on taxpayers everywhere.

Maybe this is why? (0, Offtopic)

AnonymousClown (1788472) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550070)

Usage of Windows by developers declined from 64.3 percent in 2009 to 58.3 percent in 2010. The decline of Windows is mirrored by a nearly equivalent growth in Linux usage on developer desktops

Look at the price of Visual Studio 2010 Professional (you need that to redistribute your stuff*) [] .$549!! Whereas to develop for Linux is free.

F/OSS dev tools on Windows just don't work well (there was so much shit that wouldn't work together well that I gave up) ; granted I haven't tried again since 2008 and maybe things are better. And even then, you're basically stuck with Win32 C/C++ applications or Java. No thank you, I'm over writing mindless UI boiler plate code - thank-you-very-much.

* - The Visual Studio Express editions don't allow you to redistribute very easily. Yeah, I tried installing the some of the runtimes and other things that it requires but I've never gotten an app I've written to work on another machine.

Re:Maybe this is why? (1)

walshy007 (906710) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550230)

* - The Visual Studio Express editions don't allow you to redistribute very easily. Yeah, I tried installing the some of the runtimes and other things that it requires but I've never gotten an app I've written to work on another machine.

I managed to do that in 2005 with express visual c/c++ when playing with quake3 code to give modified engines to friends etc. Wasn't too much trouble so probably just something minor wrong

F/OSS dev tools on Windows just don't work well (there was so much shit that wouldn't work together well that I gave up) ;

It works well but I readily admit it can be an absolute pain in the ass to setup, again this was some time ago, perhaps 2004'ish, since 2006 was the last time I dual booted to windows for playing around.

Re:Maybe this is why? (1)

Billly Gates (198444) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552678)

The issue is .NET assemblies. The ones you create on the express versions will not work on the other ones. I do not think quake3 uses .NET assemblies so it should be portable. There are also no units and many debugging tools.

Re:Maybe this is why? (1)

mustafap (452510) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550244)

>Usage of Windows by developers declined from 64.3 percent in 2009 to 58.3 percent in 2010 we have to take this with a pinch of salt - it was a survey of Eclipse users. That's like surveying alcoholics on whether they drink beer or not.

Re:Maybe this is why? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32550250)

* - The Visual Studio Express editions don't allow you to redistribute very easily. Yeah, I tried installing the some of the runtimes and other things that it requires but I've never gotten an app I've written to work on another machine.

Because you're stupid.

Re:Maybe this is why? (1)

DAldredge (2353) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550256)

Don't blame the tools for your inability to use them correctly.

Re:Maybe this is why? (2, Insightful)

AnonymousClown (1788472) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551148)

Don't blame the tools for your inability to use them correctly.

That's bullshit and you know it and it's that attitude that gives IT people a reputation of being immature and arrogant .

When I had those problems I googled quite a bit and you know what? The problems I mentioned are very common; which means that it's a design and implementation problem with all of those development tools.

So, I am blaming the tools for their poor design. You can be as condescending and insulting all you want but it doesn't change the fact that the tools have problems.

Re:Maybe this is why? (1)

CastrTroy (595695) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550620)

$549 is nothing if you plan on selling your software. Assuming you charged $20 for a copy of your software, you would need to sell only 28 copies to make back the difference you spent on the IDE. That's nothing. You'll spend more on the computer to run it, almost as much on the OS, and more on electricity to power the computer. Most developers will earn $500 in a couple days, many in just 1 day. For hobby development at home, it's expensive. But if you actually are selling software, the cost is almost negligible.

Re:Maybe this is why? (1)

Shados (741919) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550702)

There's no difference between an app made with VS Express and VS Pro. All you need is to install .NET 4.0 on the target machine. Thats it.

You seriously have to be brain dead to fail at that. I probably have over 100 distinct apps of all kind, ranging from windows services to web applications, going by noob command line apps and everything in between, across 15 companies and most continents, and countless customers, with all versions of visual studio (including express and ultimate), and literally: there's no difference unless you have third party dependencies. The apps "Just work"

Re:Maybe this is why? (1)

gbjbaanb (229885) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550804)

The apps "Just work"

except that with .NET 4.0, it uses a different CLR version (the first since .NET became popular), so a lot of apps that were built using .NET 1.1, 2.0 or 3.5 will not work with your app.

The more I use .NET, the more I find its a PITA, there's too many dependancies and funny ways of referencing different dlls. Why they couldn't just use "current directory, GAC, path" for searching, for example, is crazy. When something goes wrong, for a complex piece of software (and that's what I do, multi-million LoC apps) then .NET is more of a nuisance than you could ever believe.

Re:Maybe this is why? (1)

Shados (741919) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551652)

.NET 4.0 breaks backward compatibility to some extent, yes. Except thats not what I was replying to. I was replying to a post saying that Visual Studio Professional was required because apps made with Express couldn't easily be deployed and thats bullshit =P

And Fusion works very much the way you described it. GAC -> Current dir in a couple different ways (Path would have been nice i guess). There's only a "lot of different ways" of referencing DLLs at compile times. At runtime it is very, very simple, with the only complexity being versioning.

Oh really? (1)

AnonymousClown (1788472) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551056)

The apps "Just work"

You're saying I can take an .exe compiled with an Express edition and just run it on another machine?


I got a shit load of .dll and manifest errors that I could never get to work. And it's not me. []

Re:Oh really? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32551502)

Not understand how manifest files works just means you're stupid (and the other losers who can't do it right are stupid too) - the fault is not on the product, it's on you.

It's a fucking development environment. Get to understand how the fuck it works before developing with it. Or go back playing with Java.

Re:Oh really? (1)

Shados (741919) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551694)

The thing is again, there's no difference between Express and Pro in that regard. If you're having issues with Express, you WILL have issues with Pro. Its simple to understand why: The compiler and the DLLs aren't even PART of Visual Studio, they come with the .NET framework (yes, the compiler too!) and that doesn't change between editions.

Make an app, compile it, pick all the files in the bin/release or bin/debug directory (by default), put them on the target machine. Just make sure the target machine has .NET 4.0 installed (the full thing. If you use Client Profile only then it adds the step of making sure you're targeting Client Profile in visual studio). Double click on the app. It just works. Thats for .NET

If you're one of the 3 people in the world who will make a Windows-only app in C++ (why the hell?), just add the C++ redistributable. Again, has JACK to do with the version of Visual Studio you're using.

The title is misleading (5, Insightful)

jitendraharlalka (1702444) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550086)

It is definitely great to know that MySQL is doing great even in Oracle's hands and even Linux is growing in Eclipse User Survey. However, the title of the post is totally misleading as it is merely based on Eclipse User survey and that too with merely 1696 users. Nearly 40% of the respondents came merely from Germany and France (The survey believes this shouldn't bias result but we really have no reason to believe their assumption).

Re:The title is misleading (1)

bgspence (155914) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551080)

Any statistic significantly skewed by adding or subtracting 1 to either your numerator or denominator is a statistic too fragile to support a conclusion.

Re:The title is misleading (1)

slas6654 (996022) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551084)

Where it the article or the story about the article does it even say the word MySQL? Who is editing Slashdot these days?

Some POed sales guys (1)

fatray (160258) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550246)

"MySQL has pulled ahead of Oracle, by a factor of 3-to-2, as the database of choice among Eclipse developers." You can be sure there are some Oracle sales and marketing guys who are livid at this. They see every MySQL user as money out their pocket (because of reduced bonus). These guys usually have a lot of clout with the corporate execs and they are going to be lobbying to reduce the the competition from MySQL. In my company the sr execs will do some dumb stuff (e. g., things that hurt the long term, infavor of the short term) to keep the sales and marketing guys happy. I suspect there are plenty of Oracle sales guys who would like to kill MySQL today, if not sooner.

Re:Some POed sales guys (3, Insightful)

nxtw (866177) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550614)

I don't think there are many MySQL users that would have even considered talking to an Oracle sales representative.

Re:Some POed sales guys (1)

fatray (160258) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551000)

Yes, I think that the Oracle sales to lost to free MySQL is tiny or none at all. What I am saying is the guy the didn't get his bonus this quarter because he was one or two sales short might have a very emotional response when he sees his company giving away a product that competes with what he is trying to sell (regardless of whether MySQL actually competes with his product). I am too fat and lazy to see how Oracle sales have been doing the last couple of years, but I suspect that a lot of the sales reps and their managers are getting a smaller bonus check recently, due to the economy, not competition from free dms.

Re:Some POed sales guys (1)

RocketRabbit (830691) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552688)

This is really it. A garage startup doesn't usually have tens or hundreds of thousands of bucks just to throw at database software in this day and age. Not when databases have become a commodity as free as air. That money will take care of all the other associated costs of the company for many months.

Startups with tons of venture capital will probably throw money at any "tested solution" like Oracle, but full funded startups are rare as hen's teeth these days. An individual like me who is coding iPhone / iPod / Android apps in their spare time, and needs a database somewhere on the net, is not even considering Oracle.

Re:Some POed sales guys (1)

$RANDOMLUSER (804576) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550852)

Maybe those guys should go to work for the RIAA. One more time: just because someone went with a free alternative does not mean you lost a sale of an overpriced product.

Wow! Talk About a Misleading Headline (1)

SwashbucklingCowboy (727629) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550576)

"MySQL Outpacing Oracle Among Eclipse Developers In Wake of Acquisition"

Of course, that headline isn't particularly newsworthy. As the article cited states "it would be a stretch to say that these results from the 457 respondents represent the overall market".

State of the Databases (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32550730)

mysql is like riding a bike and takes practically no effort to administrate; and it works well. Tons of people use it and thusly getting a dba with mysql experience is easy. Furthermore the documentation isnt bad and there are plenty of books about to learn how to admin mysql.

I would say postgre is the best database out there in general terms; but postgre documentation is terribad. It's not easy to jump into. Not that popular so hiring a postgre dba will be costly. There is like 2 books for postgre? Nobody anywhere seems to teach it.

MSSql documention is quite plentiful. Tons of books, tons of courses available. Tons of people trained in all the aspects of operating MSSql. Cheaper labour. At the expense you have licensing costs.

Oracle which IMO is better then MSSql; but often those features too which make it better arent used. There is labour there, training is much harder to come by, and it's well documented. God aweful licensing costs; totally not worth it.

Mysql will mostly stay conservative. Postgre will get documentation together, get some training and books out there. This will really boost them. MSSql I think should work on better clustering/multimaster-replication. Oracle needs to drop the high prices, the competition in the market now doesnt allow them to have those prices.

Re:State of the Databases (4, Insightful)

FlyingGuy (989135) | more than 4 years ago | (#32550884)

You could not be more wrong about:

Oracle needs to drop the high prices, the competition in the market now doesnt allow them to have those prices.

An this is why...

It's called support. One of the major reasons I recommend Oracle to clients who need maximum uptime and downtime is just not an option is because of the world class support Oracle provides. If you are a licensed Oracle site you have support 24/7/365 no matter what time zone or country you happen to be in. If you pick up the phone and say those magic words, "I'm down" the calvary is not just coming over the hill they are at your door. Guess what that kind of support costs a lot of money to provide.

In our race to the bottom of the price bucket lots of things have to be cut and guess where they cut first, you guessed it, in support. With Oracle support you do not get script readers in India or the Philippines you get an Oracle engineer on the phone ready to tackle the problem with you until the problem is solved and they will bring in whatever other resources are required.

MySQL is a wonder database that does what it does very well, but would I put it up in a mission critical bit of infrastructure? Not on a bet. Those companies that have, eg: Sales Force and the like have had to hire LOTS of engineers/developers to handle MySQL in big installations and that costs even more.

Postgre has no such level of support either. So when you missions critical DB goes south either you better be able to fix it or you had better have a lot of friends you can wake up in the middle of the night.

Re:State of the Databases (1)

TheLink (130905) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551274)

Would a normal Oracle customer really get better technical support from Oracle than from the postgresql mailing list? So far you often get useful answers directly from the Postgresql development team[1]. For that level of Oracle support I bet you'd have to pay higher than the normal already high prices, or be a big customer.

Some guy to rushing to my door to quickly not be able to fix the problem, is often useful for keeping the bosses at bay, but not so useful from a technical POV. It is an often critically important feature though - being able to spend the company's money to help keep your job ;).

[1] I doubt this scales though e.g. if Postgresql's popularity skyrockets...

Re:State of the Databases (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32552546)

I'm actually not a big fan of Oracle; in my experience it requires a lot more hands-on intervention to keep it stable and humming along than a comparably sized mysql/innodb setup.

The OP's point about Oracle support though is substantially correct.

If you call oracle, and you are down, you will get somebody who knows what they are talking about on the phone, usually within 10 minutes and they will work the problem with you until it comes back up. Then they'll turn around (with a bit less urgency) and work with you on an RCA as to why it went down in the first place.

This doesn't require you big a massive enterprise customer either; I have less than 10 oracle servers in production right now and we get the same good support now that we got when we had a single server.

Fundamentally, if its 2:00 AM, and your largest client's database went pear shaped during the middle of their working day and you've got to get the database back up, you want to be able to pick up the phone and talk to somebody who knows what they're talking about, not post on a forum or a mailing list or do a google search for other self proclaimed internet "experts" making suggestions.

Re:State of the Databases (2, Informative)

Anne Thwacks (531696) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551418)

One of the major reasons I recommend Oracle to clients who need maximum uptime and downtime is just not an option is because of the world class support Oracle provide

If they really need world class support, then they ought to use db2 - its better than Oracle in every dimension, even if you include Larry Ellison's yacht.

If they just need something that works properly, then Postgresql will solve their problems.

Disclaimer: I have frequently been a victim of Oracle since Oracle 5.

Re:State of the Databases (1)

Kjella (173770) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551968)

In our race to the bottom of the price bucket lots of things have to be cut and guess where they cut first, you guessed it, in support. With Oracle support you do not get script readers in India or the Philippines you get an Oracle engineer on the phone ready to tackle the problem with you until the problem is solved and they will bring in whatever other resources are required.

Well, I don't know if you'll be getting engineer or script readers but I did a little stats on their SUPPORT positions:
Chile: 78
US: 71:
India: 70
Romania: 28
Egypt: 16
China: 11
Rest of world: 47

Looks like Chile is the new India...

Re:State of the Databases (1)

misterjjones (1331965) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552128)

MySQL is a wonder database that does what it does very well, but would I put it up in a mission critical bit of infrastructure? Not on a bet. Those companies that have, eg: Sales Force and the like have had to hire LOTS of engineers/developers to handle MySQL in big installations and that costs even more.

Salesforce runs on Oracle....

Re:State of the Databases (1)

bunyip (17018) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552162)

I've had very good support from MySQL as well. This is experience from several years ago, before Sun or Oracle got involved. The nice thing is that you get to choose, if you don't want support then you pay very little - but ther enterprise level support is quite good.

Re:State of the Databases (1)

RocketRabbit (830691) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552746)

In a lot of organizations it is cheaper to pay for a 24/7/365 MySQL expert from the local community. I know a guy who does just that, signs up businesses, gives them the cell phone number, and is prepared at any time to help them.

He's cheaper than Oracle because he bills by the hour, not by the "support period." If your Oracle DB that you paid out the butt for a support contract on stays up for 3 years without issue, you are out a substantial amount of money, writing checks to Oracle for merely existing. Many small and medium businesses find it difficult to swallow the concept of paying big money for a program, and even bigger money for support, if they never use the dupport!

Re:State of the Databases (1)

flipperdo (1172057) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552800)

If you are a licensed Oracle site you have support 24/7/365...

Wrong. An Oracle license gets you squat. If you want support, you'll have to pay a yearly fee that's roughly one fourth of the astronomically high one time license fee. []

Diff niches (1)

Tablizer (95088) | more than 4 years ago | (#32551722)

Oracle specializes in keeping the "master" corporate data. It is robust and well-tested. MySql specializes in department-specific copies of subsets of the master data for internal or local usage. There may be a middle area where they fight for control, but in general it's a matter of the best tool for the job.

Eclipse + JBoss + MySQL + PHP? (1)

Doc Ruby (173196) | more than 4 years ago | (#32552194)

I've got to add some embedded client components for syncing a MySQL DB data mart to a remote customer's web services XML interface to an existing app that runs in JBoss against MySQL, with a PHP interface (and a Flex/Flash client), code in an SVN repo.

Is there a good website telling me how to get started with Eclipse and the best plugins and configs, installed and configured on an Ubuntu server?

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