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Ozzy Osbourne To Be Genetically Decoded

samzenpus posted more than 3 years ago | from the genes-of-darkness dept.

Music 256

Dashiva Dan writes "DNA research lab Knome has announced that it is going to sequence Ozzy's entire genome. Ozzy, the former lead singer of Black Sabbath, reality television star, and spokesman for World of Warcraft among many other things, has been selected so they can discover, among other things, how drugs are absorbed in the body. The amount of abuse Ozzy has put himself through and survived is a large part of why he was chosen."

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256 comments

The secret to his DNA revealed (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597414)

Eating the heads off Bats. It gives him superpowers .... Shwing!

Re:The secret to his DNA revealed (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597952)

Eating the heads off Bats. It gives him superpowers .... Shwing!

and rabies...

Survived? (5, Insightful)

JorDan Clock (664877) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597422)

I think this all really hinges on your definition of "survived."

Re:Survived? (5, Interesting)

blair1q (305137) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597454)

In this case it's, "made more money letting a few cameras wander around his family's life than in decades of laborious rock and roll."

Re:Survived? (5, Insightful)

interkin3tic (1469267) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597518)

He's more coherent than a lot of younger meth or crack users out there.

Re:Survived? (4, Funny)

CAIMLAS (41445) | more than 3 years ago | (#32598036)

Watch: after finding out that Ozzie's DNA has decayed to only slightly-worse-than-average they get permission to dig up his mom and dad and sequence their DNA. The result will be astounding: they'll be from out of this world.

The secret to human evolution, it will seem, may have been drug abuse.

Re:Survived? (5, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32598044)

The reason is the drug war. In the olden days, Illegal drugs were made by professional chemists in white coats who had pride in the quality of their product.
It also had the backing of big money from that are better unnamed sources and pure intermediate chemicals to work with.
Today, It's made using the simplest and usually worst methods, using filthy chemicals by thugs.

you dunnnowhattyertalkin (5, Funny)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597598)

bouymen didi surviveorSURVIVEDidunno WHAT yourtryinto saybout me MAN survival im striving surviving man i dunnowhatyer talking someone wheres my drin i said ineed mydrinkwhered didiput the keyys

SHARRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNN

Re:you dunnnowhattyertalkin (3, Funny)

kiwijapan (1293632) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597950)

" Ozzy Osbourne To Be Genetically Decoded" So that's why we can't understand what he's saying .... it's all encoded. Doesn't seem that complicated a code though; I'm pretty sure one of the boffins at Bletchley Park could figure it out in a few days ... (former) President G.W. Bush on the other hand - there's a challenge that would stump even the geniuses over at the NSA.

Re:Survived? (5, Funny)

sg_oneill (159032) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597610)

I think this all really hinges on your definition of "survived."

"Somehow isn't dead after snorting the entire cocaine output of a small south american nation."

Re:Survived? (4, Insightful)

NewbieProgrammerMan (558327) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597694)

I think Keith Richards qualifies for that; is he being decoded as well?

Re:Survived? (4, Insightful)

JanneM (7445) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597846)

"is he being decoded as well?"

He's already pickled; they can wait and do that at any time.

Re:Survived? (5, Funny)

BluBrick (1924) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597912)

It's too late for Keith - he's already dead.
He actually died in 1992, but no-one had the heart to tell him.

Re:Knome (0, Offtopic)

EEPROMS (889169) | more than 3 years ago | (#32598026)

Knome!!, so will the kde people be releasing an SDK, man I would love to code some software based on that

User "why isnt my printer working" Kubuntu "Shut the f**k up"

Then again nothing has will have changed

Do they have any of his old DNA (5, Interesting)

blair1q (305137) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597436)

Do they have any of Ozzy's old DNA?

i'd love to see a before-and-after diff...

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (2, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597460)

At worst they can probably check his kid's dna to get a rough idea.

Also, I'm not entirely sure, but I don't think(?) that anything other than radiation can break down dna.

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (1)

biryokumaru (822262) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597474)

Retroviruses would work. Or, you know, normal viruses, but those are less science fictiony sounding, and usually don't get 100% coverage.

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (4, Funny)

jamesh (87723) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597606)

Retroviruses would work

Retroviruses are so last-century.

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (2, Funny)

peragrin (659227) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597756)

Retroviruses would work

Retroviruses are so last-century.

That's right This century it is nano self modifying viruses

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (2, Informative)

hedwards (940851) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597508)

All sorts of things can, from free radicals, to cell duplication to sun exposure. But in this case they aren't interested in that so much as what about his DNA might have contributed to him surviving that much abuse.

It's hard to say, but he could always just happen to represent the long tail of the distribution.

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (4, Informative)

interkin3tic (1469267) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597576)

Also, I'm not entirely sure, but I don't think(?) that anything other than radiation can break down dna.

Epigenetics are proving to be far more influenced by our environment than we thought. Here's one article [medicalnewstoday.com] that suggests BPA affects the epigenetics of mice.

As far as DNA goes, it's actually pretty easy to break down or otherwise make inoperable. Ionizing radiation does do it quickly, but normal cellular processes even damage it. Thousands of chemicals and proteins are mutagenic. Fortunately, your cells, skin, and clothing help protect the DNA, and there's a lot of active repair. Still, it seems that many (almost all?) cancers are caused initially damage to the DNA.

Many drugs probably have mutagenic properties and could damage your DNA. Having said that, it wouldn't make -specific changes- to the DNA in your -whole body- and thus would not fundamentally alter your DNA sequence. Maybe cocaine would cause breaks in your DNA at random places. There's a lot of DNA, the chances that it would break your DNA at a specific point in every single cell in your body... it's virtually impossible.

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (4, Funny)

JWSmythe (446288) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597636)

There's a lot of DNA

That's ok, he took a lot of drugs to compensate.

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (1)

vxice (1690200) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597906)

More importantly cells also know when they are damaged beyond repair and destroy themselves. Cancerous cells loose this ability and also replicate out of control. Without both of those conditions the cancer is mostly harmless.

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (3, Informative)

ZirconCode (1477363) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597580)

No, a Common mutagen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutagen) are Alkaloid plants (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alkaloid) which include Cocaine. I'm sure there are more but that's what I was able to figure out after a quick google.

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (4, Interesting)

JWSmythe (446288) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597616)

    With the bit I know about street drugs, and the amount he has done over the years, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if some was tainted with some sort of radioactive material. I'm afraid to know many radiation tainted drugs came out of Eastern Europe around 1986/1987.

    I knew someone who OD'd (and survived). I knew what drugs she thought she had been taking. I also had the opportunity to read her toxicology report. Thank goodness it wasn't a postmortem report, and she gave it to me to read. The report almost read like a complete list on every street drug and several pharmaceuticals. Everything *EXCEPT* for the ones she had taken. For some reason, I pictured a drug manufacturer sweeping the floor, taking everything that was the right color, and pressing it into the pills she had taken.

    The report didn't have anything else on it, so I'm guessing they didn't test for heavy metals or anything of that sort. If they had, I wouldn't have been all that surprised to see mercury and lead in the list.

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (1)

Cryacin (657549) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597948)

Thank goodness it wasn't a postmortem report, and she gave it to me to read.

Yes. Thank goodness. Or else... ZOMBIE!!!

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (5, Funny)

Kaeso (1275972) | more than 3 years ago | (#32598000)

The report didn't have anything else on it, so I'm guessing they didn't test for heavy metals or anything of that sort. If they had, I wouldn't have been all that surprised to see mercury and lead in the list.

As for Ozzy, he at least ought to test positive for heavy metal...

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (1, Offtopic)

JWSmythe (446288) | more than 3 years ago | (#32598060)

    hehe. Ya, but as far as I know, that kind of metal isn't poisonousness. Well, unless you talk to some religious nutjobs, but they'll tell you sex and drugs are bad too, and we all know that isn't true. :)

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32598478)

Just can't see hot street drugs; radio-laced material is too valuable on its own market. I suppose those Chernobyl poppies maybe, or maybe organics around Krasnoyarsk.

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (1)

JWSmythe (446288) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597504)

    I was thinking something similar. With everything he's done, there's a possibility his DNA is tainted beyond recognition. Before and after comparisons would be great.

    Don't do drugs kids, it'll melt your DNA. Don't be like Ozzy. :)

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (0, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597622)

I thought DNA doesn't change? Guess I was wrong ...

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32598262)

Old being the operative word. It's a shame someone has to work that late into his life. You'd think he'd be sitting in the dungeon of a nice dank castle somewhere by now, puttering away at some bat breeding hobby.

Re:Do they have any of his old DNA (1)

mibe (1778804) | more than 3 years ago | (#32598380)

Even assuming some sort of massive DNA damage, if he's alive and doesn't have cancer then he has (apparently) recovered just fine. This means that (a) his cells are overwhelmingly about the same as they were when he was born - the fidelity of one's genome is kind of a top priority for the body, after all - and more interestingly (b) his cells are extraordinarily resistant to DNA damage, likely through highly efficient repair mechanisms. That's the kind of thing they want to find out about, although it probably won't end up being DNA repair genes that are most interesting in Mr. Osbourne, but rather something more related with drug processing.

Ozzy? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597490)

I would peg Ozzy as a baptist angel compared to the substance abuse by Keith Richards....
If I could get a blood transfusion, I would opt for Keith's.

Wow. Like that's costing them $10K retail. (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597510)

Congratulations to Knome on a PR scheme that's getting them mainstream advertising for almost no money [ksl.com] . I haven't seen this much bogosity from actual scientists since they shot John Glenn into space [google.com] to "learn about the effects on space on old people".

I'm sure they'll find the drug abuse resistance gene in no time. (Which seems like a really priority scientific endeavor.)

Will their next genetic decoding involve LiLo? TMZ wants to know.

Re:Wow. Like that's costing them $10K retail. (1)

treeves (963993) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597718)

"drug abuse resistance gene"

Ha. That's a different meaning of "drug abuse resistance" than the D.A.R.E. project had in mind!

Ability to survive lots of drug abuse vs. ability to resist using drugs of abuse. I'm not sure which genes (if they exist) would be better to have.

Re:Wow. Like that's costing them $10K retail. (1)

Sarten-X (1102295) | more than 3 years ago | (#32598012)

Having a natural resistance to drugs' effects is a good thing, especially if other effects come through fully. Consider the possibility of having strong narcotic-based post-surgery painkillers with fewer or even no adverse effects. This could be a small step in that direction. There's lots of chemicals out there that have great uses, except for the minor detail that they're toxic.

Being outlawed doesn't make a chemical bad. It just makes the chemical illegal.

Re:Wow. Like that's costing them $10K retail. (2, Insightful)

joeflies (529536) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597902)

Will their next genetic decoding involve LiLo? TMZ wants to know.

Why would anyone want to genetically decode LiLo? Isn't everyone using Grub by now?

Lilo & Grub? Lilo & Stitch! (1)

HiggsBison (678319) | more than 3 years ago | (#32598040)

Why would anyone want to genetically decode LiLo? Isn't everyone using Grub by now?

I was hoping maybe they'd decode Stitch. Now that'd be some interesting genetics.

If you play it backwards (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597522)

then implant it into an organism, you get a clone of Satan.

Now that I think about it, I remember some fanatics saying that the antichrist will be born in a test tube.

Re:If you play it backwards (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597608)

I was.

Better idea (5, Funny)

lyinhart (1352173) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597538)

Should've chosen Keith Richards. Man's practically indestructible. If we could reverse engineer him, we'd have a genetically perfect superarmy.

Re:Better idea (4, Funny)

jamesh (87723) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597624)

Should've chosen Keith Richards. Man's practically indestructible. If we could reverse engineer him, we'd have a genetically perfect superarmy.

An army that's only useful for an attack on the playboy mansion or a large alcohol factory.

Re:Better idea (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597720)

An army that's only useful for an attack on the playboy mansion or a large alcohol factory.

That'd be a hell of lot more entertaining than most of what's on TV.

Re:Better idea (4, Funny)

GaryOlson (737642) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597830)

An army that's only useful for an attack on the playboy mansion or a large alcohol factory.

Depriving the opposing forces of necessary supplies is an effective tactic.

Re:Better idea (1)

royallthefourth (1564389) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597982)

Just think! They could use up the entire Afghan opium supply. It would keep farmers in business while keeping down the black market!

Re:Better idea (3, Funny)

H0p313ss (811249) | more than 3 years ago | (#32598094)

Should've chosen Keith Richards. Man's practically indestructible. If we could reverse engineer him, we'd have a genetically perfect superarmy.

An army that's only useful for an attack on the playboy mansion or a large alcohol factory.

You make that sound like a bad thing.

Re:Better idea (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597652)

Or perhaps they should exhume Hunter S. Thompson or WIlliam S. Burroughs ?
(although I believe both of them may have been cremated)
Rockers like Ozzy are substance-abuse lightweights compared to some of the more self-destructive writers.

Is some lifestyle survival stuff epigenetic? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597558)

It would be interesting to see what is turned on or silenced in the epigenetic states (methylation, etc.) to see exactly how Ozzy's runtime has responded to his lifestyle choices.

Do these genome samples cover any of that stuff?

Spokesman for WoW? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597560)

He didn't really speak in that commercial unless you count mumbling.

Chuck Norris? (5, Funny)

AffidavitDonda (1736752) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597582)

What about Chucks genome? he is indestructible and, after all, he invented genetics, didn't he? But maybe his genome would be too complicated for research...

Re:Chuck Norris? (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597630)

Fuck off you unfunny newfag. Chuck Norris [youtube.com] isn't funny. He's a fucked up Bible thumper who would have you thrown into a concentration camp without a second thought.

Re:Chuck Norris? (1)

AffidavitDonda (1736752) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597672)

and you have obviously more in common with him than you would like to admit (while your statement admits exactly that...) Anonymous Coward...

Re:Chuck Norris? (1)

Kitkoan (1719118) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597666)

What about Chucks genome? he is indestructible

You don't pull apart Chuck Norris's genome, Chuck Norris's genome pulls you apart

Re:Chuck Norris? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597788)

In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still drive car.

the problem with chuck norris's genes (5, Funny)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597824)

is that they would take the electrophoresis gel, slurp it down like jello, then spit it out as diamond bullets at the researchers. then it would take the southern blot, kick it so hard it would turn into a northern, western and eastern blot and actually blot out the word "southern" from all maps ever printed

finally, his genes, when put in the polymerase chain reaction, would replicate uncontrollably, each new sequence of chuck norris genes gaining umpteenth levels of mystical levels of martial arts power, until the polymerase chain reaction would actually set off a runaway nuclear chain reaction. the upside of this nuclear chain reaction is that it would create elements never before seen by man, and when overhearing some of the physicists from down the hall the biochemists hurriedly call into their lab that these new elements are supposed to be unstable, chuck norris's genes would be so insulted they would spontaneously stabilize every single radioactive element in the known universe, then spontaneously rewrite the fundamental laws of nature so that radioactivity itself ceased to exist

Re:Chuck Norris? (1)

H0p313ss (811249) | more than 3 years ago | (#32598106)

What about Chucks genome? he is indestructible and, after all, he invented genetics, didn't he? But maybe his genome would be too complicated for research...

They already sequenced Chuck, but they only get as far as R O U N D H O U S E . K I C K before the machine breaks.

Concentrations (5, Funny)

Dachannien (617929) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597640)

I don't think Ozzy absorbs drugs anymore. After all, osmosis only works for moving stuff from high to low concentrations.

Re:Concentrations (1)

Zak3056 (69287) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597726)

I don't think Ozzy absorbs drugs anymore. After all, osmosis only works for moving stuff from high to low concentrations.

I guess what you're saying is that in Soviet Russia, drugs absorb Ozzy?

Re:Concentrations (1, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597760)

I don't think Ozzy absorbs drugs anymore. After all, osmosis only works for moving stuff from high to low concentrations.

After all, OZmosis only works for moving stuff from hi to low concentrations.

There, fixed that for you.

Re:Concentrations (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32598396)

I think your confused. Ozzy uses ozmosis.

(my captcha is snorting. no, really, it is.)

This isn't the only reason he was chosen (2, Insightful)

dmomo (256005) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597646)

I'm sure publicity is the number one reason. For Ozzy or Knome? I'm not sure. But I can tell you that if they wanted a candidate who has taken great "bodily abuse" from drugs or whatever, they'd have no trouble finding one who isn't a high profile personality.

Huh? (1)

Improv (2467) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597684)

Do they think the drugs he's taken changed his genetic code? Really? Either the summary is bad, or whomever is doing this is a bit short on clue.

Re:Huh? (3, Insightful)

Scubaraf (1146565) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597770)

Retarded headline. It would be as valid to analyze his iPhone to see how electronics deal with toxins. Sequencing his genome is a publicity stunt. Nothing more.

Re:Huh? (1)

infinitelink (963279) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597854)

It's a publicity stunt, but it's not "just" a publicity stunt: epigenetics research can use this sort of information, and Ozzie is an easy choice given that it's out in the open. As others have pointed-out, though, having samples prior to his binge of abuse would be useful: maybe him mom has hair or a foreskin laying around from childhood (yes, people do actually keep that sort of stuff).

Re:Huh? (2, Funny)

jd (1658) | more than 3 years ago | (#32598230)

It's not just =a= publicity stunt, it's a publicity stunt that will have tens of thousands of screaming rock fans getting sequenced, and will have preachers claim that if you play the DNA backwards over some iron filings, you can hear "The soda's in the fridge, all hail the antichrist" repeatedly.

Re:Huh? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597966)

Just look at his kids and ask the question again. Are you still in any doubt?

I Don't Know... (3, Funny)

jd2112 (1535857) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597774)

But I'd take a Shot in the Dark that it doesn't take Perry Mason to tell that these scientist were riding the Crazy Train. There'll be No More Tears once we learn for certain that The Long Road to Nowhere really does lead to him...

Re:I Don't Know... (2, Funny)

h4rr4r (612664) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597870)

I Don't Wanna Stop you but Fools Like You are Time After Time coming up with these lame puns.

Re:I Don't Know... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32598252)

what?

Re:I Don't Know... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32598326)

But Ozzy is Iron Man...can break out the War Pigs....and has the Hand of Doom....

of course he's also Paranoid..

barely survived!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597816)

barely survived!!

Not their first choice (4, Funny)

Darth_brooks (180756) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597862)

They wanted to decode Lemmy from Motorhead first, but all of the samples they took came back as being a mixture of Whiskey, Amphetamines, and some sort of superhuman white blood cells that not only could fend off any currently known STD but also had a nasty habit of smashing test tubes and threatening lab assistants.

Lemmy > Ozzy.

Sweet Leaf (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32597894)

So THAT's what 'Sweet Leaf' was all about! And all this time, I thought it was about ferns...

Comparative genomics (1)

nbauman (624611) | more than 3 years ago | (#32597914)

Now they can compare his DNA to Kary Mullis and see where (if at all) they differ.

Re:Comparative genomics (2, Funny)

Daniel Dvorkin (106857) | more than 3 years ago | (#32598250)

Now they can compare his DNA to Kary Mullis and see where (if at all) they differ.

One's a raving lunatic who once did great things under the influence of massive amounts of mind-altering substances, then burned himself out completely and has since turned into a sad shell of his former self ...
 
... and the other's an old rock star.

(They're cops.)

((Coming this fall to FOX.))

minu5 4, Troll) (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32598108)

users. BSD/OS TO KEEP UP AS 7or a moment and Join GNAA (GAY

Ozzy !! Living Proff Darwin was WRONG !! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32598146)

The world is full of idiots that have no place in the Darwinian World. Proof that God exists, and that the only one decended from a monkey was Darwin.

Ancient DNA (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#32598416)

First the woolly mammoth. Now this!

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