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FEMA and DHS Fund Disaster Hero Game

Soulskill posted more than 4 years ago | from the fifty-bonus-points-for-each-liquor-store-you-loot dept.

Government 68

eldavojohn writes "The United States government has decided that children need a video game to learn about what to do before, during, and after an emergency or hazardous event. Collect an emergency kit! Create an emergency plan! Be informed of what to do! Suffer from heat exhaustion inside the Superdome! ... Wait, what? Oh, I guess FEMA omitted that last one. Disaster Hero is coming in 2011 — plenty of time before 2012."

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Suck it! (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32617652)

Bitches!

From the people who brought you House, M.D. the ga (2, Insightful)

Wrexs0ul (515885) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617668)

When disaster strikes, solve problems on your own and belittle those around you!

Actually, educational games are great. Number munchers changed my life: multiply or die.

-Matt

FPS (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32617690)

I hope it is a first person shooter!!! I can't wait to go looting!!!

Disaster Hero (4, Funny)

Tetsujin (103070) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618916)

I hope it is a first person shooter!!! I can't wait to go looting!!!

No such luck, I'm afraid.

What I can't figure out is how the hell I'm supposed to help flooding victims with a damn toy plastic guitar...

Re:Disaster Hero (1)

Chih (1284150) | more than 4 years ago | (#32619396)

Use it as an oar, it's super-effective!

Re:Disaster Hero (1)

Eberlin (570874) | more than 4 years ago | (#32619544)

Simple, you just hit the button(s) that correspond to the terror alert level they announce on the ensuing telethon. If Kanye shows up, you can use star power.

Re:Disaster Hero (1)

wwphx (225607) | more than 4 years ago | (#32633080)

You really deserved being modded up for Funny for the Kanye and telethon lines.

Re:Disaster Hero (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32621452)

Heckuva job you're doing, Brownie!

I'm not sure,, (2, Interesting)

Higaran (835598) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617694)

This is either the best idea ever for a video game, or the worst. I guess it depends on how the game is gonna come out, personally I'm leaning toward the latter, but if it even teaches a few people how to save their own lives then I guess it's a good idea. Hey at least you'll learn something other than how to kill aliens and zombies, or alien zombies. No that doesn't sound right how about zombie aliens, or aliombies, or zombliens. Yea that's it I like that one the best, zombliens, i.e. the flood.

Re:I'm not sure,, (1)

somersault (912633) | more than 4 years ago | (#32619340)

Damnit, where do I train what to do if we're overrun with zombaliens? I already know how to survive after a disaster from playing Fallout 3!

Re:I'm not sure,, (0, Offtopic)

Ethanol-fueled (1125189) | more than 4 years ago | (#32621846)

It won't happen because of aliens or zombies, it'll happen because disaster capitalism [naomiklein.org] is America's future.

Re:I'm not sure,, (1)

KDR_11k (778916) | more than 4 years ago | (#32622584)

It's only the best if it has dialogue as cheesy as Disaster: Day of Crisis [youtube.com] .

But... (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617702)

Does it tell you how to survive attack by a horde of hungry zombies?

Re:But... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32618122)

There's already a game that addresses that need, Fort Zombie [fortzombie.com] .

Re:But... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32642950)

There's already a game that addresses that need, Fort Zombie [fortzombie.com] .

If only it addressed it well, or even adequately, rather than being a buggy, unplayable mess.

Re:But... (1)

Rogerborg (306625) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618608)

If it doesn't, then why is FEMA in league with the undead?

I wonder what the controller's going to look like. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32617704)

And where they're going to put the five colorful buttons.

Re:I wonder what the controller's going to look li (1)

ragefan (267937) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618610)

Its wallet shaped; the tighter you clench it, in order to avoid paying claims, the more points you earn.

Burning through taxpayer cash? (1)

SweeBeeps (1827982) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617714)

This strikes me as something they could develop in flash for 1/100000th of the budget and get the same point across seeing as you have to wonder how interested anyone would be.

Re:Burning through taxpayer cash? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32618176)

This is really and example of interdepartmental jealousy. DoD has America's Army, which has been fairly successful, but what does FEMA/DHS have? Up until now, nothing. Unfortunately this subject matter is not going to lend itself well to the design limitations and it will not, I guarantee, see anything approaching the level of success seen by America's Army. Quite frankly I'm surprised it's not some Federal Air Marshall simulator called Airline Hero or something.

Re:Burning through taxpayer cash? (1)

SweeBeeps (1827982) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618292)

FEMA had bigger PR issues to deal with, and I would guess they still do. If they money can't go to the people who need it why not blow it on a game? They'll have something better than minesweeper to play at their desks now!

Re:Burning through taxpayer cash? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32618780)

TFA says it's "web based" and doesn't list a budget or which web platform they'll be using. Nice job jumping to ridiculous conclusions without reading anything first though.

We already know what to do (1)

outsider007 (115534) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617720)

But we loot anyway.

Red Dawn Redemption (1)

Phoenixlol (1549649) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617748)

Sounds like a great idea for a game, actually. Assuming there's a "Survive Russian Invasion" mode and/or or "Zombie Apocalypse".

Re:Red Dawn Redemption (1)

f8l_0e (775982) | more than 4 years ago | (#32619016)

Assuming there's a "Survive Russian Invasion" mode

I suggest that you try Call of Duty : Modern Warfare 2. One of the scenarios is called Wolverines! for just that reason.

Test it! (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32617798)

Obama needs to know what to do during and after an emergency. It's obvious that at present he hasn't a fucking clue.

And sorry, threatening to kick BP's ass doesn't count.

Re:Test it! (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32618758)

Obama needs to know what to do during and after an emergency. It's obvious that at present he hasn't a fucking clue.

And sorry, threatening to kick BP's ass doesn't count.

And what do you suggest he does?

Re:Test it! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32619808)

And what do you suggest he does?

But isn't he a genius? Didn't his supporters claim he was so much smarter than that stupid cowboy from Texas? Didn't Obama and his lackeys roar with laughter when Paul McCartney stated “After the last eight years, it’s great to have a president who knows what a library is.”?

If Obama wants to claim god-like abilities he'd better be able to fucking deliver like a god......not act like the whiny punk he's showing himself to be.

Re:Test it! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32620600)

Can you imagine what that "stupid cowboy from Texas" or McCain would have done in this situation? Do you think we would have the $20 billion escrow account courtesy of BP? Do you think the absence of that would have been a good thing? Would you prefer him seize BP assets? WTF is he supposed to do? Whine, cry, wash pelicans and dolphins, and/or kick BP out of the country and never let them do business here again?

Re:Test it! (1)

Danse (1026) | more than 4 years ago | (#32631434)

I'm not going to bother responding to the retarded troll post above, but I thought this would be an appropriate place to note that this is yet another example of why it is very bad to let an industry co-opt or corrupt its regulators. Until we come up with a workable solution for regulatory capture, we're going to keep seeing crap like this and all those banking scandals that nobody could be bothered to seriously investigate. How can the government regulate them when they're simultaneously depending on those industries to write the regulations, and even to help enforce them?

Re:Test it! (1)

Javit (68742) | more than 4 years ago | (#32620330)

FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT!

FIX IT FIX IT FIX IT! [youtube.com]

(all while not using too many caps, Mr. Obama. We have a lameness filter to avoid, here.)

Re:Test it! (1)

dunezone (899268) | more than 4 years ago | (#32619474)

There were no plans in place for something like this because something like this was never suppose to happen. This isn't Obama demonstrating that he cant act in an emergency this was a scenario that was supposed to be prevented.

Unfortunately it appears that BP cut a lot of corners with required prevention methods. And the only thing that will stop the oil flow is a relief well and we don't require those to be drilled at the same time as the primary well.

Competitive or not? (2, Informative)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617826)

There are tons of web-based games out there, aimed at little kids. The best ones manage to integrate some form of competitive nature. I remember way back in the day, when I was a young'n, there was this little site called neopets. [neopets.com]

Some of you might be familiar with this child-attracting monstrosity. It is full of minigames which give them points which they can spend on a variety of stuff. Stuff for your Neopet, as your Neopet is kind of like your avatar, or about as close as you're going to get. I find that they did well in attracting to the "Cool & Cute", the two fields that attract younger kids, however in retaining their audience that had to make it fun enough to keep playing. The best way to do this is to make it competitive with other players.

You could open a shop, and little kids would start playing the market like the stock market (despite neopets actually having its own built in stock market) - kids would understand the investment skills of buy low sell high. There was also a combat arena where you could face off your neopet against other people's neopets. A leveling system I can't remember, weapons, gear, all that stuff.

I'm sure its still like that somehow today, but thats about all I remember.

So, if there is any tip I can give to anyone making a web-game for kids: it's appeal to that social interaction and competitiveness that keeps kids playing webgames, keeps jocks playing football, and keeps nerds playing WoW.

Re:Competitive or not? (1)

Blakey Rat (99501) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618140)

So, if there is any tip I can give to anyone making a web-game for kids: it's appeal to that social interaction and competitiveness that keeps kids playing webgames, keeps jocks playing football, and keeps nerds playing WoW.

And rip-off Pokemon! Oh wait...

Re:Competitive or not? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32625852)

Of course Neopets is set up to be addictive

It's run by scientologists.

Wait! Didn't Betheda do that already? (1)

sammyF70 (1154563) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617846)

I thought that was the point Fallout3 ... Something about "politicians are evil robots and only weird radio jocks with stupid names should be trusted", along with "if you can loot it and you don't get shot then it's yours" and "shoot first, check to see if it was a mutant later". Damn .. I learned so much from that game ...

Re:Wait! Didn't Betheda do that already? (1)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617954)

It's not cute and cuddly and aimed towards kids though.

Re:Wait! Didn't Betheda do that already? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32618146)

Yes it is. There's only one whore, and you blow up her city if you are a bad guy.

Re:Wait! Didn't Betheda do that already? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32618868)

Really? [wikia.com]

Re:Wait! Didn't Betheda do that already? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32619444)

You might think that, but jeez, the game is more popular with the tween age group than the adults it was intended for, more than any other Fallout.

I know, because even my little brother borrowed it for the 'cool graphics' but it's more for that M rating to just enfaux his masculinity.

I want to be... (1)

pinkj (521155) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617854)

I want to Michael Brown! "Get me out of this!"

I hope it's better then that real bad firefighter (1)

Joe The Dragon (967727) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617874)

I hope it's better then that real bad firefighter pc game that came out around 9/11

Predictive Programming. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32617906)

Wonder if the "disaster plan" includes busting yourself and your family out of the FEMA camp?

A web based game..... sounds dumb (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32617956)

I don't know, I would lean towards a game that played out a scenario MMORPG style. The game would be first person a-la Quake/America's army. You run around the map doing things, collecting gear, maybe doing home improvements that would keep you safe in an emergency (locking down your water heater here in Southern California for example). Then at random intervals a disaster strikes and your forced to deal with the situations that you weren't prepared for.

Then after so much time after the disaster, the game resets and starts all over.

Think Urban Terror - America's Army - and maybe some type of sim rolled into one.

Bad idea (1)

Improv (2467) | more than 4 years ago | (#32617984)

Teaching kids to wear highly electric pants (as the pictured hero seems to) in a flood seems unwise.

Zombie apocalypse (1)

h4rr4r (612664) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618074)

Sure I have had folks make fun of my Zombie Apocalypse survival stuff, but when the power was out for a week due to ice storms I was ready. If you cannot survive without power for a week in your own home you are doing something wrong, excluding those with medical conditions who really should have generators and an UPS.

A map of Candyland is nice, (1)

abbynormal brain (1637419) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618098)

gives you high-level general knowledge, and it might even teach you something useful, but do more research and besides the standard bug-out-bags, water and stuff - - consider:

- Paper towels
- Boots that shit washes off easily from
- Rags and more paper towels
- Alcohol (the rubbing and drinking kinds)
- Firearm (I know ... but were you in Katrina after the floods. and if you were, were you in the neighborhoods I was in? Hunger can be a deadly force)
- Paper towels
- Cash (cash and more cash, and make it look like you only had a little while you safely keep the rest hidden)
- Jewelery (put some on, fake or low cost - expect it to be taken - but have something they can take or they'll think you're hiding more - which you should be)
- Did I mention paper towels and rubbing alcohol?

Re:A map of Candyland is nice, (1)

mjwx (966435) | more than 4 years ago | (#32621760)

- Firearm (I know ... but were you in Katrina after the floods. and if you were, were you in the neighborhoods I was in? Hunger can be a deadly force)

Good suggestion, really, really, really stupid reason.

If you're ever lost in the bush (yes tourists, when in Australia you can get lost easily, you could drive for 6 hours at 100 KM/h and not encounter anything) a firearm is a very good method of getting attention, which is what you want when people are looking for you.

But once again, you should feel ashamed at how stupid that reason was.

- Cash
- Jewelery

Very stupid suggestion, you have no need for valuables what so ever in a survival situation. Swap for water, food, flares, hand held radio radio (one or two way), first aid kit, batteries, matches, lighter, petrol or other combustibles.

I pity whoever gets stuck on a desert island with you.

Re:A map of Candyland is nice, (1)

abbynormal brain (1637419) | more than 4 years ago | (#32643694)

:D Like many thing on the net, we typically only respond with blinders on to a directed topic/question. The items you mentioned are definitely must-haves - but that's what I meant by a "bug out bag". As to survival in the environment: I have desert, cold weather, and ocean survival training.

My point was in jest to highlight that, often, the simple things (such as paper towels) are left out.

About the gun:
I can't say for sure that you haven't been in a life threatening situation with armed people - but I have (three times). You may be comfortable with rolling the dice and placing your life in the hands of others - but I am not. This is not a I'm right you are wrong statement - but one that highlights the adage: I'd rather have a gun and not need it than need a gun and not have it. I've seen a very ugly side of people and I will always hope for the best in our encounters but plan for the worst.

Let's hope people can die in this game (4, Funny)

Culture20 (968837) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618118)

No, really, I mean it. Some friends of mine were hired to write a game for an Energy Cooperative. The intention of the game was to promote energy safety (electrical and natural gas). But when digging games (call before digging), replacing electrical outlets (turn off appropriate breaker first), ladder work, kite flying, and gas detection and avoidance were brought to the table, the Cooperative rep gasped and said no, no, no! No dying! No danger! No possibility of fear or we'll get sued! So the game turned into a cutesy ball of flaming gas that turned off gas valves (without igniting them somehow), and a socket plug that turned off lights around his house to save energy. Wow, safety. Big waste of the Co-op's money.

Oil spill? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32618266)

Given the recent gulf oil spill, you would have thought this is one of the standard features in this game. But then again, what has FEMA done to oil spill? NOTHING!!! This is just like the Chernobyl disaster. Anyway, I would like to see the interrogate/waterboard/torture/execute energy executives portion of this game. This alone will be a real seller!

Homepage laugh! (1)

UninformedCoward (1738488) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618322)

The fat green alien rapper on the right of the Disaster Hero page made me laugh. It may do the same for you, just saying. Bling!

What?!? (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618438)

I don't need no stinkin' video game to teach me how to rape and pillage!

Enthralled! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32618460)

From the page: "...designed to enthrall and teach children..."

Definition
enthrall[ in thráwl ]
TRANSITIVE VERB

1. delight: to delight or fascinate somebody thoroughly, engaging that person's attention completely

2. enslave: to make somebody a prisoner and claim legal ownership of that person

Huh, I wonder which definition they were using?

Surviving the zombie apocalypse? (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618496)

There's an app for that! [zombiecommand.com]

Two Words (1)

falken0905 (624713) | more than 4 years ago | (#32618514)

DUCK and COVER!

Only if they make it mandatory (1)

ma1wrbu5tr (1066262) | more than 4 years ago | (#32619186)

This should be Mandatory Curriculum for ALL elected officials and civil service personnel and the scores should be made public.

Altruism (1)

frca (1173359) | more than 4 years ago | (#32619250)

No game will teach the kids altruism which is probably the most important act in disaster situation: people sticking together and helping each other. It's good to count on the government and the army to bail you out but in the end people helping people will do more than any governement agencies can do.

Already been made (1)

kinthalas (102827) | more than 4 years ago | (#32619304)

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2002/6/17/ [penny-arcade.com]

Hopefully this remake will cover the vital "keep people from stealing your umbrella" survival skills.

Re:Already been made (1)

dadelbunts (1727498) | more than 4 years ago | (#32619398)

Those games are great fun actually, i have them both. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disaster_Report [wikipedia.org] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raw_Danger [wikipedia.org] They may look stupid but are actually very very fun. Who knew avoiding hypothermia and dehydration could be so entertaining. I suggest anyone with a ps2 check them out.

Good Job FEMA (0, Troll)

interval1066 (668936) | more than 4 years ago | (#32619410)

A video game. Way to actually accomplish something. Here's a little tale about FEMA I heard on the regular news outlets during the Katrina debacle; During the aftermath of the Katrina flooding the sheriff's deputies of hard-hit township located near the gulf went riding around looking for gasoline they could take back to a hospital so they could get its generators started. After collecting a small but useful amount they started back to the hospital. Along the way they met up with some FEMA agents who, under the color of the authority of the Federal Government, commandeered the gas. The one thing they did say was that there were taking all the gas they could find... for...? Who knows. Nothing really rational, I would venture to guess. The deputies went back and found another hoard of gas, but this time swore they wouldn't stop for anyone and would start shooting if they were bothered, by anyone. Good for them. But this item simply illustrates the point.

Re:Good Job FEMA (2, Insightful)

wiredlogic (135348) | more than 4 years ago | (#32620604)

Large generators of the type used by hospitals run on diesel.

Re:Good Job FEMA (0, Troll)

interval1066 (668936) | more than 4 years ago | (#32620626)

Go back to sleep, father.

Disaster Hero + Sim City (1)

sootman (158191) | more than 4 years ago | (#32620996)

Player 1: "Great job rebuilding the levee, guys."
Player 2: "Look out--ALIENS!"

seriously, people (1)

russlar (1122455) | more than 4 years ago | (#32621860)

we get this, but we'll never have duke nukem forever?

Let me be the first to say... (1)

DiEx-15 (959602) | more than 4 years ago | (#32622364)

...after seeing the website for this game: "Why do I got a bad feeling about this?"

After a staged disaster... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32625270)

Run as quickly as you can into a FEMA camp.

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