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Stop the Math Press's Presses — Knuth Announces iTex

timothy posted more than 4 years ago | from the now-with-more-highly-integrated-business-principles dept.

It's funny.  Laugh. 284

After Donald Knuth's anticipated "earthshaking announcement," it's safe to say that the world is still here. yowlanku writes "Christoper Adams tweeted live from TUG 2010 Conference that 'Donald Knuth's TeX successor will be named iTeX.' " Knuth "also stated that this successor of TeX will have features like 3-D printing, animation, stereographic sound."

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WTF (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32765480)

WTF is this!!@1!!!!!!!@111

this was... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32765946)

your one and only chance today to claim "1st iPost" but nooooo, you had to do something else instead...

Not on the iPhone (4, Funny)

biryokumaru (822262) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765494)

I hear it's already been rejected from the App store.

Re:Not on the iPhone (4, Funny)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765510)

What did he expect? It supports printing!

Perspective vs. Tunnel Vision (1)

Philip K Dickhead (906971) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765678)

Film at 11.

Re:Perspective vs. Tunnel Vision (3, Funny)

icebike (68054) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766080)

That's not fair.

All 27 users of TeX will be quite excited about this.

Re:Perspective vs. Tunnel Vision (4, Informative)

steveha (103154) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767278)

All 27 users of TeX will be quite excited about this.

Ah yes, the reliable old joke: all X people who care will be happy, where X is a humorously small number. Classic!

But kidding aside, TeX is in heavy use. Most TeX users use LaTeX [latex-project.org] or even LyX [lyx.org] to wrap TeX and make it easier, but TeX is in there doing the work.

My understanding is that TeX is standard in the academic world, because it can correctly typeset serious math equations. Also, Wikipedia uses TeX to process all <math> tags (see here [wikipedia.org] for details).

I have many times read discussion boards where people said something like "I started writing my thesis in Microsoft Word using its equation editor. After my fourth bout of heavy drinking and depression, my friend showed me LaTeX, and I was able to finish my thesis with just a few wine coolers and hardly any Prozac."

steveha

Re:Not on the iPhone (-1, Offtopic)

TheKidWho (705796) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765532)

Does every thread have to devolve into Apple bashing?

Re:Not on the iPhone (5, Insightful)

lostmongoose (1094523) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765572)

...yes?

Re:Not on the iPhone (0, Offtopic)

MobileTatsu-NJG (946591) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766314)

And then you guys complain about noisy fanboys.

Re:Not on the iPhone (0, Offtopic)

MobileTatsu-NJG (946591) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766798)

Flamebait? Really?! Are you suggesting that iPhone fans won't get noisy when Apple gets bashed in threads that have nothing to do with it?

Re:Not on the iPhone (5, Funny)

Stumbles (602007) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765576)

Yes. One bad Apple spoils the whole bunch.

Re:Not on the iPhone (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32766060)

Yes. One bad Apple spoils the whole bunch.

You're just a barrel of laughs, aren't you?

Re:Not on the iPhone (3, Funny)

MaskedSlacker (911878) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766144)

Monkeys even.

Re:Not on the iPhone (1)

snl2587 (1177409) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766196)

More like a bushel.

Re:Not on the iPhone (2, Funny)

binarylarry (1338699) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766392)

More like a library of congress.

Re:Not on the iPhone (1)

LurkerXXX (667952) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765580)

When someone sticks an 'i' in front of their application's name? Yes.

Re:Not on the iPhone (1)

epedersen (863120) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765604)

Ether Apple or Microsoft, what else would you expect?

Re:Not on the iPhone (4, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32765834)

Not true, historically the ratio was about:
90% Microsoft bashing
10% Intellectual property bashing

Then it turned into:
50% Microsoft bashing
50% Intellectual property bashing

Only recently did Apple fight their way into the mix, but they've gained market share quickly, eating primarily into Microsoft bashing. What's interesting, is it parallels the browser wars a bit, though the swings are more dramatic here. But:
Microsoft=IE (obviously)
Intellectual Property=Firefox (open source, makes sense)
Apple=Chrome (works in the both big brothery sense)

I'm not sure what Opera is, maybe SCO?

Re:Not on the iPhone (5, Insightful)

msauve (701917) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766040)

Google is the new Apple
Apple is the new Microsoft
Microsoft is the new IBM
IBM is just old

Re:Not on the iPhone (3, Funny)

vivian (156520) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766122)

It's the karmic company cycle.

One of these days IBM will die and then reincarnate as the new Google.

Re:Not on the iPhone (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32766142)

Mod this up!!

I just shudder thinking what Apple would have become if they were successful from the beginning. MS's bundling stuff is nowhere as anti-competitive as what Apple has done in short five years.

Re:Not on the iPhone (2, Insightful)

The Spoonman (634311) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767054)

Yes! It's just terrible when companies give you things for free that you can then choose to either use...or not. Shameful behavior! Congress should do something about it!

Re:Not on the iPhone (1)

wmbetts (1306001) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767110)

Man I'm glad someone else realized that!

Re:Not on the iPhone (2, Insightful)

ae1294 (1547521) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766346)

Google is the new Apple
Apple is the new Microsoft
Microsoft is the new IBM
IBM is the new Xerox
Xerox is...

Re:Not on the iPhone (5, Funny)

AshtangiMan (684031) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766602)

The new DEC

Re:Not on the iPhone (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32767156)

- Google is the new DEC. That's how it is, kids.
- Ehm... yes, grandpa.

Re:Not on the iPhone (1)

amicusNYCL (1538833) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766914)

I'm not sure what Opera is, maybe SCO?

Linux. It has a lot of great features, a lot of people have a lot of good things to say about it, and no one uses it. Except me. And sopssa.

Of course... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32765626)

It's the new M$, or Micro$oft, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. Haven't you heard?

Re:Of course... (1)

drachenstern (160456) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765900)

AAPL

Re:Of course... (1)

E IS mC(Square) (721736) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766146)

You mean Apphole?

Re:Not on the iPhone (4, Insightful)

bonch (38532) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766236)

What do you expect? Apple took the wind out of Slashdotters' fantasy of Linux on the desktop supplanting Windows, so there's some bitterness there.

Re:Not on the iPhone (2, Funny)

multi io (640409) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766444)

Thank you, Sigmund.

Re:Not on the iPhone (0)

jedidiah (1196) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766668)

> What do you expect? Apple took the wind out of Slashdotters' fantasy of Linux on the desktop supplanting Windows, so there's some bitterness there.

Except Apple never supplanted anything.

Microsoft is as entrenched as ever on the desktop.

The only place that Apple is getting anywhere is with their iPod concept. The fact that Steve has
openly declared that he wants his overgrown iPod to replace customer controllable computing devices
is what gets all of the Slashbots riled.

As far as real computing devices go, Apple has at best managed to make up ground they lost in the 80s and 90s.

Re:Not on the iPhone (2, Insightful)

TheKidWho (705796) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766932)

Except that 80% of laptops sold over $1000 are Apple and most high end computers tend to be Macs. It's more entrenched than Linux on the desktop that's for sure.

Re:Not on the iPhone (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32766548)

Yes...I hate those fuckers...now let me get back to my iPhone...I've been away to long and feel lost without it.

Re:Not on the iPhone (1)

jedidiah (1196) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766704)

meh. My iPhone is neither here nor there.

Although it's good that I can jailbreak it and make a shell script to make
up for Apple's pisspoor design decisions with their SMS app.

I wonder if an Android phone would force that sort of shenanigan.

Re:Not on the iPhone (1)

TheKidWho (705796) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767062)

Piss poor? I take it you never used SMS prior to the iPhone?

Re:Not on the iPhone (1)

therealobsideus (1610557) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765548)

It was rejected, but Apple did their usual flip flopping and approved it. With the help of iForce, my psychic powers tell me it'll be rejected again (and re-approved) all in the next week.

Re:Not on the iPhone (2, Insightful)

rhyder128k (1051042) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766430)

It's a hoax, but it it's a shame that something isn't being to speed up development on the successor to LaTeX2. LaTeX 3 development work has been underway since the early 1990s. One feature I'd like to see implemented is a reliable way of inserting an inline text box that the main text wraps around, for tip boxes. There is some third party support for images that take up less than a full column width, and it can be hijacked for text, but it doesn't work reliably. Basically, what I think will happen is that TeX will die out to be replaced by DTP due to the stalled development process. A shame, as a lot of us liked it, particular when teamed up with LyX [lyx.org] .

Lame. (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32765498)

What?

No Twitter integration?

Lame Indeed (1, Insightful)

Saeed al-Sahaf (665390) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765978)

Knuth "also stated that this successor of TeX will have features like 3-D printing, animation, stereographic sound."

In other words, it will become a bloated mess.

Re:Lame Indeed (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32766058)

In other words, it will become a bloated mess.

Dude, if you'd ever installed the entire TeX suite from source, you'd already know it's bloated. The saving grace is that it's anything but a mess and all that bloating stuff is actually useful.

Re:Lame Indeed (5, Funny)

makapuf (412290) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766116)

Is it a plane ? Is it a bird ? No, it's a Woosh !

Re:Lame Indeed (2, Insightful)

bonch (38532) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766264)

How does supporting those features make something a "bloated mess?"

Other reasons it's lame... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32766702)

> No Twitter integration?

It also has no wireless and less space than a Nomad.

Donald Knuth is a Christian. (0, Troll)

Singularity42 (1658297) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765506)

Take that as you want.

Re:Donald Knuth is a Christian. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32766198)

Why is that a "Troll"? I can see "offtopic", but what is trollish about that?

Re:Donald Knuth is a Christian. (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32766390)

OT comments on religion or politics are, ex ipso, trolls.

internet TeX (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32765522)

I, for one, welcome our new marketing-lingo overlords.

Bummer. (3, Funny)

dgatwood (11270) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765558)

We were all hoping he'd announce proof that P = NP....

Re:Bummer. (4, Funny)

martin-boundary (547041) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766172)

The way I see it, he's announced that the proof of P = NP will fit easily in the margin of an iTeX file...

Re:Bummer. (1)

Tetsujin (103070) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766192)

We were all hoping he'd announce proof that P = NP....

That's easy. Just let N=1 and you got it. :)

Re:Bummer. (1)

DMiax (915735) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767250)

Yes, I hoped TeX would finally run in a reasonable amount of time.

What is this? (0, Offtopic)

hackstraw (262471) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765600)

Idle. A joke. Content please...

Re:What is this? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32765886)

I don't get this iTex joke either.

iTex (0)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765656)

Got a great big belt buckle right above your little bitty pecker? There's an app for that!

Enough with the iNames already! (4, Funny)

Cordath (581672) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765672)

Name it after some other deliberately mispronounced form of fetish-wear. I'd happily write papers in buttplug (pronounced bootploog).

Re:Enough with the iNames already! (5, Funny)

bmo (77928) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766062)

I'd happily write papers in buttplug (pronounced bootploog).

bootploog

Canadian, eh?

--
BMO - Happy Canada Day!

Re:Enough with the iNames already! (2, Interesting)

R.Mo_Robert (737913) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766594)

Actually, it's only the diphthongs that raise in Canadian, and only (for most speakers who have it) before voiceless consonants. That's what Canadaian "out" sounds like General American "oat," but a word like "plug" is unaffected for two reasons: the final voiced consonant and the monophthong. ("Boot," too, since it's also only monophthong /u/.)

Re:Enough with the iNames already! (1)

RyuuzakiTetsuya (195424) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766182)

You just gave me an idea for a USB enabled fork of Grub.

Re:Enough with the iNames already! (4, Funny)

Pfhorrest (545131) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767106)

I'd happily write papers in buttplug (pronounced bootploog).

Needs more umlauts for that:

Büttplüg.

3D Printing (2, Interesting)

CarpetShark (865376) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765674)

Come to think of it, I'm only familiar with the hardware side of 3D printing.

What is the state of the art in terms of 3D printing software and/or definition languages? Is there anything approaching a standard yet, that can take account of issues like number and type of available materials (conductive metal, plastic, etc.), material properties (tensile strength etc.), degrees of freedom (angles that can be accessed), resolution/step size, and other issues like that in a reasonable way?

I doubt it really, but I guess my question is more "how far are we from achieving it? What work's been done so far?"

Re:3D Printing (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32765850)

It's usually referred to as Rapid Prototyping [wikipedia.org] , and properties are limited to whatever the particular technology you're using can support. The good news is some companies (disclaimer - previous employer) like Stratasys [stratasys.com] have evolved their FDM technology to the point of creating usable plastic parts.

Sadly, the venerable, verbose, and error-prone STL file format is still the standard input for most of these systems.

So, perhaps Tex will support STL output for 3D printing :)

Re:3D Printing (1)

flaming error (1041742) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766286)

> What is the state of the art in terms of 3D printing software and/or definition languages
RTF Summary. Thanks to Knuth, now we can print animated audio stereographs in 3D.

"...the world is still here." (1)

John Hasler (414242) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765756)

He said earthshaking, not Earth-destroying. Sad to see that he is going to waste more time on typesetting, though.

Re:"...the world is still here." (3, Funny)

Martin Blank (154261) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765846)

Apparently, typesetting is one of those things that can grab hold of you and never let go. I know a couple of people who were trained in typesetting, and they can't seem to help but criticize the kerning and leading of... well, just about everything printed.

Re:"...the world is still here." (5, Funny)

Yoozer (1055188) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766148)

criticize the kerning

Perhaps you meant "keming"?

Re:"...the world is still here." (1)

Sponge Bath (413667) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765860)

Sad to see that he is going to waste more time on typesetting, though.

Don Knuth: It's an old habit. I spent my whole life trying not to be careless. Women and children can afford to be careless, but not men.

This version of iTex is junk. (3, Funny)

TheRedDuke (1734262) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765766)

Wait for build 1729.

Re:This version of iTex is junk. (1)

rjk94 (1240212) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765816)

Good choice of number:
12^3 + 1^3 = 10^3 + 9^3 = 1729
Lowest number to do this, yesiree.

You could say TeX has just been 1 (knuth arrow) up'd!
I mean, if your puns were real sucky you could.

Re:This version of iTex is junk. (1)

betterunixthanunix (980855) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766070)

I'll wait for 87539319.

Some details from the conference (4, Informative)

WillAdams (45638) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765784)

here:

http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=1702818&cid=32752126 [slashdot.org]

It was an hilarious presentation in the spirit of his first publication... http://www.codinghorror.com/blog/2008/01/the-enduring-art-of-computer-programming.html [codinghorror.com] (scroll down to Potrzebie)

to repeat (w/o the geocoord)

a successor to TeX which he has been working on for some time

scratch tex78 and tex82

so making up for assumptions which don't fit the internet age

jokes about measuring and math in TeX .4pt == .3999pt

maxdimen too small, 1sp too large

tunnel vision caused by computers of the day

subset of XML uses Unicode automatic everything

all directions and all dimensions

hypertext

text audio video sensors GPScoords accelerometers haptics

midi input to score and back to music

no macros --- menu driven like Word but enhanced

spoken command and gestures

\i \TeX (wrapped on a sphere)

spoken name accompanied by (optional) ringing bell

not programmed directly

1289 bugs in TeX
571 bugs in metafont

Project Marianne

www.projectmarianne.com

Project Biturgical

written in Scheme using all buzzwords

pricing - monthly subscription on cloud

first year one month free

pricing based on internet speed

will change everyday

life is too short to reread anything

will benefit world's economy, user's can sell documents

network of certified consultants

online help
    - for dummies
    - for wizards
    - personalized on-line

symbolic equations
graphics
maps
satellite photos

\i\TeX hyper document

math mode like mathml --- must evaluate

avatars

hyperbolic geometry

videoconferencing

world-class photo retouching

character, face, speech recignition

cognition

output format:
    - lasercutters
    - embroidering machines
    - 3D printers
    - plasma cutters

interactive cookbook

life as hypertext document

released next month

pending patent applications

Re:Some details from the conference (3, Funny)

zippthorne (748122) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765990)

It seems we have no time to lose in bringing out a new typesetting engine!

So *that's* what Knuth was doing at Techshop ! (3, Interesting)

billstewart (78916) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767068)

Techshop [techshop.ws] is a shared-equipment workspace in Menlo Park CA, with a few other branches (they're opening in San Francisco this summer.) I was there welding a couple of weeks ago, and ran into a friend of mine who was doing a project in the laser cutter room, and the people working on the other laser cutter were Knuth and his wife. (I refrained from walking over and saying "Hi, I'm Joe Fanboi, I used your books 30 years ago!".) Techshop has laser cutters, embroidering machines, 3D printers, and plasma cutters, and here's Knuth's latest project supporting them. I wonder if he's got any plans for controlling CNC milling machines and routers?

Is it supposed to replace HTML? Flash? (0)

GreatBunzinni (642500) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765848)

TeX has been extensively used to develop high-quality documents, from small articles to full-fledged books. Yet, I don't believe that neither animation nor stereographic sound will come out well in print. Exactly, what's the objective here? Is it to replace media formats which support sound, video and 3D graphics?

Re:Is it supposed to replace HTML? Flash? (1)

Grishnakh (216268) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766138)

Whoosh!

Re:Is it supposed to replace HTML? Flash? (1)

dangitman (862676) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767102)

Whoosh!

Look, I don't mind if iTex replaces Flash, but don't take Whoosh away from me! I'm rather fond of it.

Re:Is it supposed to replace HTML? Flash? (1)

camperdave (969942) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766550)

Yet, I don't believe that neither animation nor stereographic sound will come out well in print. Exactly, what's the objective here? Is it to replace media formats which support sound, video and 3D graphics?

Ever hear of a Kindle?

Re:Is it supposed to replace HTML? Flash? (2, Informative)

thogard (43403) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766622)

What do you expect them to typeset the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with?

What is stereographic sound? (1)

noidentity (188756) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765890)

I'm trying to figure out what stereographic sound is. I think it's sound, but the graphic makes me thing maybe it's graphics. Or is this a joke? I'm really confused.

Re:What is stereographic sound? (1)

zippthorne (748122) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766010)

No, you're just misunderstanding the -graph suffix. It's more than just for images.

Re:What is stereographic sound? (1)

dgatwood (11270) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766150)

The normal term is stereophonic....

Re:What is stereographic sound? (1)

dangitman (862676) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767046)

No, you're just misunderstanding the -graph suffix. It's more than just for images.

Actually, you seem to be the one misunderstanding the -graph suffix. Or missing the joke.

Re:What is stereographic sound? (1)

prockcore (543967) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766576)

If you cross your ears, you can hear a sailboat!

Re:What is stereographic sound? (1)

treeves (963993) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766638)

A visual representation of sound with 3d effects, for which either red-and-blue or polarizing headphones are needed to enjoy the experience...or ...whooosh.

i... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32765938)

i call iShenanigans

TFA is 22hrs stale tweet (1)

dragisha (788) | more than 4 years ago | (#32765948)

Never saw Slashdot article with less substance... And that says a lot.

And who is this news source?

Re:TFA is 22hrs stale tweet (4, Informative)

laffer1 (701823) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766054)

according to google, his presentation was a hoax.

Re:TFA is 22hrs stale tweet (1)

dangitman (862676) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767064)

according to google, his presentation was a hoax.

So, his presentation didn't actually happen? How does that work, people are reporting on it. Did he manage to convince people to hallucinate that he gave a presentation that he didn't?

Re:TFA is 22hrs stale tweet (1)

selven (1556643) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766120)

22hrs stale tweet

Less than a single day is stale??! Oh no, I found out about a news item about a product which won't come out for some more months or even years 22 hours after some other people! I'd rather come here and read some meaningful discussion (that's where the substance is and has been for years, not the summary) so I can understand the significance of this than get some minimal 140 character news feed one day in advance.

Re:TFA is 22hrs stale tweet (1)

dragisha (788) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766826)

It is stale, when used as "stop the presses".

Also, it is ridiculous... To have a tweet for TFA...

iText (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32766188)

iText is a free and open source library for creating and manipulating PDF files in Java.

Whoa

Animations... hmm (2, Funny)

SteveFoerster (136027) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766272)

Animations? So with a buildup like that we get... a blink tag?

Re:Animations... hmm (1)

grilled-cheese (889107) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767142)

No, you get a contender to animatedGIF. After 5+ years of development and 3rd party toolkits, you might get flash.

It's three months late. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32766560)

It amazes me how many people take this seriously.

It reads just like the Kernighan & Ritchie C "admission" or RFC 1149.

Jeez folks. It's a JOKE.

Google search for "knuth announcement" produced... (4, Interesting)

jthill (303417) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766580)

I wonder if this would surprise him: at 4AM Pacific today, I searched for "knuth announcement".

Google told me that was the 27th most common search over the preceding hour.

Stereographic sound? (1)

mr.canuck (179923) | more than 4 years ago | (#32766958)

stereophonic sound maybe?

'I can't hear you without my glasses on!'

This was the earthshaking announcement? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#32767006)

Who does Knuth think he is? Steve Jobs [youtube.com] ?

So... how long before.... (2, Funny)

Izhido (702328) | more than 4 years ago | (#32767012)

... Apple sues Knuth for infringing trademarks over the use of the "i" in iTex?

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