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Growing A House From Meat

samzenpus posted about 4 years ago | from the delicious-future dept.

Idle 133

baosol writes "From the boundary-pushing team of archi-visionaries who brought us the fabulous Fab Tree Hab comes a new (and somewhat disgusting) way to grow a structure — using animal flesh! The In Vitro Meat Habitat is a futuristic concept home composed of meat cells grown in a lab. The creator of the concept, Mitchell Joachim, is a futurist with a twist– he says he is actually developing the concept in a lab."

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Prior Art (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32853722)

Heinlein already had this in the "Mrs Hawkins" character.

Re:Prior Art (1)

cayenne8 (626475) | about 4 years ago | (#32853810)

I'm guessing when you drive through the older neighborhood of 'meat' all just smells like jerky??

Re:Prior Art (3, Insightful)

Marxist Hacker 42 (638312) | about 4 years ago | (#32853966)

Either that or Rot. I find it hard to believe they've synthesized a high-protein cell that can beat cellulose for structural strength and permanence.

Re:Prior Art (1)

Hylandr (813770) | about 4 years ago | (#32854828)

Silly man, Jerky is what you get when you've milked the bull!

- Dan.

Yea I know that was bad pun, please don't mod me down. :)

Mitchell Joachim: self promoting huckster? (1)

spun (1352) | about 4 years ago | (#32854672)

It seems that whenever this 'futurist' gets a brain fart, he thinks the entire world needs to hear it. As his ideas always seem to be of the most out-there, fringe, wing-nutty type, I am left wondering, is he simply incredibly narcissistic or is he attempting to milk some venture capitalists? Either way, if I never hear another brain dead idea from this goofball, it will be too soon. There are plenty of real engineers out there toiling away in obscurity trying to come up with viable sustainable technology, Slashdot, why not do some pieces on them? Oh yes, the eternal flaw of all media: laziness. It's easier to parrot back a huckster's press release than to find the people making real innovations. Meat houses, really? Seriously, if we could grow meat in a lab, we could, oh I don't know, feed people with it or something. This is ludicrous.

Minerals (1)

TheKidWho (705796) | about 4 years ago | (#32853726)

We need more mineralssssssssssssss.

What a dumb idea. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854360)

The need to feed the house would be an ongoing problem.

I am sure there would be issues with disease and odor to deal with as well.

Not to mention that the walls will offer little to no resistence against predatorial animals.

I would also expect costly complications with managing electrical wiring, heat/ac, and plumbing.


Re:What a dumb idea. (3, Funny)

maxwell demon (590494) | about 4 years ago | (#32854814)

The need to feed the house would be an ongoing problem.

Well, the real problems start when the house figures out how to feet itself, and discovers that there are great sources of proteine and fat directly inside it. :-)

Re:Minerals (2, Funny)

Jarik C-Bol (894741) | about 4 years ago | (#32855160)

that was the first thing i thought when i saw this during his TED talk. "godamn it we are not the zerg, take your meat house and get the hell off my lawn" what is worse is the fact that he tacked this meat house onto this talk about growing homes from trees that are guided into the shapes we need, so your house is a living plant, *and he tried to make the meat house sound like a better idea than the tree house*

Re:Minerals (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32855542)

Well, I see his point. If your neighbor has a plant-house that keeps growing over your property line, and you have an herbivorous meat-house, guess which one wins?

Re:Minerals (1)

xmousex (661995) | about 4 years ago | (#32855322)

i want zerg house now!

article says this is all okay because the house isnt sentient though. "no sentient animals or something were harmed in the process of whatever the fuck it said"

too bad because thats exactly what i need. it needs to think for itself and it needs to talk to me.

Offtopic, but (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32853766)

I misread "house" as "mouse."

mmmmmm Beefy! (1)

e2d2 (115622) | about 4 years ago | (#32853778)

mmmmmm Beefy!

I am curious though, how does this do against Bears? Black bears of course because they are best.

I'm so hungry I could eat a house (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32853782)

Oh come on, Someone had to say it.. Might as well be me.

Better Off Ted (1)

kannibal_klown (531544) | about 4 years ago | (#32853790)

But does it taste like despair [] .

Not perfectly related, but whenever I hear about advancements in meat I can't help but think of that episode.

Poor Better off Ted, you will be missed.

WTF (2, Funny)

Xacid (560407) | about 4 years ago | (#32853792)

I don't even want to write a long intelligent response to this. I just want to say WTF over and over again.

Re:WTF (5, Funny)

butterflysrage (1066514) | about 4 years ago | (#32854188)

then let me just say two words: Beef Curtains.

Re:WTF (1)

liquiddark (719647) | about 4 years ago | (#32854412)

GAH! Why do I never have mod points when I need them!!!

Re:WTF (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854578)

I saw a +6 score many years ago before that bug was fixed.
There needs to be +6 funny for special occasions. This is one such occasion.

Re:WTF (1)

geekoid (135745) | about 4 years ago | (#32855162)

udderly disgusting.

Re:WTF (2, Funny)

Monchanger (637670) | about 4 years ago | (#32855734)

... and a doorbell that goes "moooooooo".

Re:WTF (1)

dadioflex (854298) | about 4 years ago | (#32855566)

It'll come, regardless of the current response. The alternative is... soylent green, and that ain't happening. Bio-engineering? Meh. I've been reconciled to this since Nemesis the Warlock from 2000AD. Then there was Farscape, and later Battlestar Galactica.

What's the problem? We eat meat, we dress in meat by-products, most of our sports' stars have meat between their ears... easy adjust.

This idea stinks! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32853794)

And is swarming with flies.

And I think that link qualifies as spam.

Re:This idea stinks! (3, Interesting)

maxwell demon (590494) | about 4 years ago | (#32855050)

If you put a nail in the wall, will it bleed? Will the house feel pain?

Re:This idea stinks! (1)

Dekker3D (989692) | about 4 years ago | (#32855620)

no nerve cells and no brain cells for any would-be nerve cells to connect to. it's grown purely from meat cells, and cells don't usually revert back to stem cells without some odd treatment or so. Not sure how oxygen and such would get transported without veins though... IANAB.

Fatal Flaw (1)

Tebriel (192168) | about 4 years ago | (#32853832)

Once I get one, how will I keep from eating my bacon house?

Re:Fatal Flaw (1)

confused one (671304) | about 4 years ago | (#32854190)

The house might bite back...

You house is made (0, Redundant)

OdoylesRule (1765008) | about 4 years ago | (#32853852)

from Solient Green!

DO NOT WANT: (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32853854)

From TFA:

For fenestration, or openings of windows and doors, he envisions sphincter muscles that can open and close

Nothing like coming home from work to squeeze your way into a clenched asshole.

Re:DO NOT WANT: (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854108)

There are some people who enjoy that you insensitive clod!

Mmmmm... yeah baby...


Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854152)

Makes for some good pr0n.

Re:DO NOT WANT: (4, Funny)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | about 4 years ago | (#32854570)

Isn't that the goal of every man?


clem (5683) | about 4 years ago | (#32854980)

Not that door. There's a reason it's labeled "Exit Only".


Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32855506)

I'm hoping that you can grow a couple vaginas in the bachelor pad version, like in the floor or wall or something

Why? (1)

camperdave (969942) | about 4 years ago | (#32853862)

A house made of meat?


Re:Why? (1)

Bugamn (1769722) | about 4 years ago | (#32854022)

So we can have houses that look like what is expected by humans. -- Overmind

Re:Why? (1)

frank_adrian314159 (469671) | about 4 years ago | (#32854626)

Yeah. It sounds like a pretty jerky idea.

This is a terrible, terrible idea. (1)

Revotron (1115029) | about 4 years ago | (#32853872)

[Dr. Joachim] envisions a wall in which tissues, skin and bones replace insulation, siding, and studs respectively. For fenestration, or openings of windows and doors, he envisions sphincter muscles that can open and close.

First thoughts that come to mind:

1) Newlywed Couples. "First thing I'm doing once we're married is picking you up and carrying you through the sphincter!"

2) Invasions of privacy. "My neighbors are really starting to get nosy. I was standing in the kitchen cooking dinner, and there's my next-door neighbor looking straight into my sphincter!"

3) Medical issues. "Doctor, can you tell me why once a month, my walls start bleeding?"

Re:This is a terrible, terrible idea. (1)

guruevi (827432) | about 4 years ago | (#32853972)

Well, bones are a very strong structure (density and weight wise compared to their relative flexibility). If you could build a house with some very dense bones, I think that would stand up to a lot of things. The meat/skin/tissue part of it would probably be gross and attract insects and vermin but it might be a good alternative in places like the North Pole where the stuff won't rot and people need to keep warm.

Practical problems (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32853878)

I doubt that meat will have the structural integrity to hold a whole building up not to mention that it would be a fine meal for most living creatures.

Zerg!!! (1)

bgweber (1676858) | about 4 years ago | (#32853886)

Have we not learned from the errors of the Xel'Naga?

Re:Zerg!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32853936)

Would looooove to see a Zerg Spire in my backyard !

Spam Spam Spam (5, Funny)

Linker3000 (626634) | about 4 years ago | (#32853940)

There's no place like Hormel

Growing building eh? (1)

easterberry (1826250) | about 4 years ago | (#32853964)

Next step? My own TARDIS!

Farscape! (1)

B5_geek (638928) | about 4 years ago | (#32854006)

Prior Art:

Farscape: Moya
Lexx: Lexx

And every Star Wars geek knows a TomTom will do in a pinch. (And you thought they smelt bad on the outside!)

Re:Farscape! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854104)

It's called a "Tauntaun".

And you call yourself a geek.

Re:Farscape! (1)

natehoy (1608657) | about 4 years ago | (#32854254)

No, a Tauntaun would be a TENT. We're talking about HOUSES here.

Re:Farscape! (1)

julesh (229690) | about 4 years ago | (#32854228)

You call yourself a B5 geek and didn't think of Vorlon ships? Shame.

Re:Farscape! (1)

B5_geek (638928) | about 4 years ago | (#32854290)

Damn you are right. Now my life does suck.

Launch it into space... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854020)

... and name it Moya!

Delicious (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854054)

....just don't eat yourself out of house and home.

Does this mean the house meat eats for nourishment? If so - does it poop?

No need to be clever here. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854100)

That's fucking disgusting.

Is it only me? (1)

khraz (979373) | about 4 years ago | (#32854124)

The pictures of these houses are making me hungry. Mmm, tasty flesh.

The build quality... (2, Funny)

Reason58 (775044) | about 4 years ago | (#32854128)

...looks to be well done.

Re:The build quality... (2, Funny)

BattleApple (956701) | about 4 years ago | (#32855268)

these houses are actually quite rare

I'm flabergasted (1)

Dynedain (141758) | about 4 years ago | (#32854148)

If this technology becomes widespread, I'll eat my shoe!

Re:I'm flabergasted (1)

Revotron (1115029) | about 4 years ago | (#32854240)

By that time somebody will have created shoes made out of meat.

Re:I'm flabergasted (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854348)

By that time somebody will have created shoes made out of meat.

Back in the 20th century, they did make shoes out of skin. It was more commonly known as leather.

And believe it no not people actually built houses with it too! I think they were referred to as tee-pees.

Re:I'm flabergasted (1)

shadowrat (1069614) | about 4 years ago | (#32855098)

i already have shoes made out of meat. i call them feet.

Mmmmm... Arson (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854150)

The tastiest house fire ever!

I think I get it... (2, Insightful)

Billy the Mountain (225541) | about 4 years ago | (#32854154)

I think ideally the structure would have a fur coat exterior or some sort of hide. Otherwise the bare meat would get infected. Still you'd have trouble with things like fleas. How would the structure fend off mosquitoes and other parasites? Might prove to be a maintenance nightmare.


Re:I think I get it... (3, Funny)

Revotron (1115029) | about 4 years ago | (#32854278)

I think ideally the structure would have a fur coat exterior or some sort of hide.

Good thinking! The vegans and fur activists will go around painting houses for free.

confused (1)

confused one (671304) | about 4 years ago | (#32854160)

I am both intrigued and disgusted at the same time.

Roast Beef Curtains (1) (1563557) | about 4 years ago | (#32854168)

on the windows?

And in the closet . . . (1)

wrencherd (865833) | about 4 years ago | (#32854280)

. . . skirt steak? (Could be weird depending on who does or does not live there.)

I'm not entirely sure why but. . . (1)

rev_sanchez (691443) | about 4 years ago | (#32854202)

somehow it seems really important to know which of my house's orifices my toilet is connected to.

Perfect! (1)

natehoy (1608657) | about 4 years ago | (#32854268)

Now we just need to develop the technology to bake a sufficiently large bun, and we finally have a burger large enough for even the American market.

Look at it this was.... (1)

ch-chuck (9622) | about 4 years ago | (#32854272)

Imagine that trees could walk around, talk, and needed shelter. Suddenly, some Tree Scientist suggests that their houses should be make out of WOOD!!! Ahhhhh!! How disgusting!!!!!

Re:Look at it this was.... (1)

natehoy (1608657) | about 4 years ago | (#32854408)

Depends on which trees are intelligent. If all of them are, then they'd just start slaughtering each other for wood. Probably form various religions around leaf shapes or bark color it to make it cool with everyone first, though.

Otherwise, if there were various levels of intelligence, then the smart trees would simply start farming the dumb ones, like we do with cows and chickens.

Mmmmm (1)

SnarfQuest (469614) | about 4 years ago | (#32854288)


Why does my house keep disappearing on me just before breakfast?

Returning to the womb (1)

izomiac (815208) | about 4 years ago | (#32854330)

I seem to remember some psychological theory that men, at heart, just want to return to the womb. At the time I thought it was ridiculous. Now I realize that they were onto something and this is what's ridiculous.

IMHO, at some point you just need to accept that a human life costs the lives of many tasty animals, tons of plants, and innumerable microorganisms. Is a tree's life worth more than the grass this structure kills by blocking the sun? How about the detrivores that live on dead plants? Or the unique and ancient rock that was broken up for gravel or cement, and the organisms living on it?

OTOH, many animals find meat to be tasty, and this house should be no different... What happens when you have a bear that has been eating your back door and comes inside looking for more food? Or your house gets gangrene? Or you leave for vacation and found the openings for your door "healed" while you were gone?

Re:Returning to the womb (1)

Reason58 (775044) | about 4 years ago | (#32854398)

I seem to remember some psychological theory that men, at heart, just want to return to the womb.

They do, but not in the way you are thinking.

House of meat's been done many times . . . (1)

wrencherd (865833) | about 4 years ago | (#32854342)

. . . the one in NYC was called, "Studio 54".

PETH (2, Funny)

Unka Willbur (1771596) | about 4 years ago | (#32854366)

Join my new organization, P.E.T.H. People for the Ethical Treatment of Houses!

T-rex returns (1)

n0w0rries (832057) | about 4 years ago | (#32854458)

What happens when nature evolves a new predator to eat this abundance of protein? Maybe aliens gave cavemen this technology just to watch the t-rex's go to town?

Exoskeleton (1, Interesting)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854526)

Meat is a silly idea for many reasons. The smarter move would be growing an exoskeletal structure. Instead of meat imagine hard plates. I think that kind of bio-engineering will happen one day but it's decades if not centuries off. Once it happens we could see fully recyclable houses that can biodegrade. Instead of cutting down forests they would be grown using a nutrient mixture and could be grown on location. The final structure would be like a cross between a geodesic dome and a large insect. The structure could even be engineered to be flexible so in hurricanes or earthquakes it would flex instead of crumbling.

Re:Exoskeleton (1)

Jarik C-Bol (894741) | about 4 years ago | (#32855266)

while still disturbing on several levels, your idea is far less disgusting than the meat house.

Next Step: (1)

ducomputergeek (595742) | about 4 years ago | (#32854558)

Soylent House! It's made of people!

Perhaps vegetarian has its advantages (2, Interesting)

CityZen (464761) | about 4 years ago | (#32854580)

Instead of meat, what about bioengineering trees to grow into more house-like shapes?

At least, if the tree dies, you've still got a solid wood structure.

I always thought.... (1)

spazekaat (991287) | about 4 years ago | (#32854606)

I guess one can't call it an "Animal House"....wasn't that the name of some movie? :-)

Moya in making?! (1)

Codeyman (1098807) | about 4 years ago | (#32854666)

Anyone else thinks that this gets us one step closer to a real Moya?! (any farscape fan here.. ?)

Steak House (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#32854710)

I leave it to your imagination to vision the BBQ.

Pest Control (1)

NF6X (725054) | about 4 years ago | (#32854760)

So, instead of becoming infested with mice, it'll become infested with dogs? Well, I guess that's an improvement.

Sci-Fi did this (1)

Andtalath (1074376) | about 4 years ago | (#32854818)

In many other sci-fi series, the idea of living structure has been used already.

The idea is not entirely without merit, however, it does bring a lot of problems as well.

Lexx is probably the coolest example, but Farscape did it very well too.
Heck, even stargate atlantis did it decently.

Re:Sci-Fi did this (1)

Lohrno (670867) | about 4 years ago | (#32854854)

I forget which book it was from, but in one of the books I read, the settlers of a planet often used a "fast coral" plant to grow their houses...

In case of a housing market slump (1)

thodelu (1748596) | about 4 years ago | (#32854850)

you at least have something to eat.

I dunno about houses... (1)

RobertM1968 (951074) | about 4 years ago | (#32854922)

...but I've pitched quite a few tents with my meat... ;-)

Safety (1)

XSpud (801834) | about 4 years ago | (#32854940)

If it's made of muscle fibre I'm not sure I'd want to be in it when the electrical wiring develops a fault.

Re:Safety (1)

Jarik C-Bol (894741) | about 4 years ago | (#32855302)

"oh hey what happened to bob?" "his wife dropped the blow dryer in the tub and his house crushed him."

South Park did this... (1)

TeethWhitener (1625259) | about 4 years ago | (#32854988)

...and now I'm waiting for my Shakey's Pizza clone.

Monster House DVD (1)

Drakkenmensch (1255800) | about 4 years ago | (#32855062)

Watch it.

Zerg! (1)

Fantastic Lad (198284) | about 4 years ago | (#32855158)

Somebody already made the joke in the article's comment section which I will paste here. . .

This is great! Now I can start building that Zerg colony I always wanted! Prepare to get zergling rushed, n00bz!


Moya (1)

nurb432 (527695) | about 4 years ago | (#32855502)

Hey, it worked on farscape..

predators (1)

roman_mir (125474) | about 4 years ago | (#32855652)

I dare you to live in something that's meat in an environment that still has any predators like bears, wolves, tigers, alligators or crocodiles, lions etc.

Finally! (2, Funny)

Fieryphoenix (1161565) | about 4 years ago | (#32855728)

A house can be condemned because it does not meat building code.

Oh yeah... (1)

migdiaz (1852410) | about 4 years ago | (#32855772)

...Meat trees. I wonder what's the vegan stance on this...
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