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Australian Cave Offers Klingon Audio Tour

samzenpus posted about 4 years ago | from the enjoy-the-tour-you-filthy-targ dept.

Australia 54

schliz writes "An Australian cave system visited by 200,000 tourists a year is expanding its range of audio guides to support Klingon. Cave operators reportedly engaged the services of two 'Klingon scholars' from the US, following Star Trek's naming of a 'Sydney Class' Starship, the USS Jenolan."

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That'll be popular... (2, Funny)

grub (11606) | about 4 years ago | (#33043898)

How do you say "This cave is dark and musty, just like Mom's basement!" in Klingon?


Re:That'll be popular... (1)

kahless62003 (1372913) | about 4 years ago | (#33050182)

So'wI' yIchu'Ha'!
QInlIj vIjang

Hurgh'taH DISvam 'ej He'taH DISvam 'e' 'atlhqam rur, SoSwI' wutlh pa' rur DISvam

Re:That'll be popular... (1)

Vastad (1299101) | about 4 years ago | (#33054104)

How do I ask Google to add Klingon to their list of supported languages in Google Translate?

You could just be getting your cat to walk back and forth across your keyboard. There are definitely Trekkies among Google's ranks that could spend their "20% private project time" adding it to the service.

Important question (2, Funny)

Vinegar Joe (998110) | about 4 years ago | (#33044064)

Will the tour be conducted in the Northern or Southern Klingon dialect? I find the Northern dialect to sound rather classless.

Re:Important question (1)

wandazulu (265281) | about 4 years ago | (#33044642)

So, tell me how long you've owned an iPad [] ?

(I kid, I kid!)

Re:Important question (1)

RockDoctor (15477) | about 4 years ago | (#33057484)

So, tell me how long you've owned an iPad?

Klingons don't own iFeminineHygienePRoducts ; iFeminineHygienePRoducts own Klingons.

Err, well, maybe.
Now I know how Nessus felt after insulting a Kzinti dinner party.

Re:Important question (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33049136)

Hab SoSlI' Quch! .. you insensitive clod!

Re:Important question (1)

thygate (1590197) | about 4 years ago | (#33049154)

Hab SoSlI' Quch!

Re:Important question (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33050608)

not verengan SoS yItIch!
vay' SaH verengan 'e' yItIch!

Do we really want to attract Klingons? (1)

elrous0 (869638) | about 4 years ago | (#33044178)

Well, at least now I can explore a whole new continent of girls who won't go out with me.

Re:Do we really want to attract Klingons? (1)

Bai jie (653604) | about 4 years ago | (#33054662)

To boldly go where no geek will ever have a chance?

I for one (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33044200)

Welcome our Klingon Overlords.

In fact they can take the whole of Australia, not just the caves.

But no Quenya or Sindarin? (1)

John Hasler (414242) | about 4 years ago | (#33044222)


Re:But no Quenya or Sindarin? (3, Informative)

surmak (1238244) | about 4 years ago | (#33045426)

Completely understandable. Elves hate going underground, so the market for tours in elvish languages is naturally limited.

Re:But no Quenya or Sindarin? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33048692)

Nah, there were plenty of cave-dwelling elves: Thingol's people in Menegroth, Finrod's people in Nargothrond, and Thranduil's people in...oh...whatever his halls were called in Mirkwood. Galadriel talks about the beauty of the Moria at its peak. Eol often went to visit the dwarves in their caves. Legolas, Elladan, and Elrohir had no fear walking the paths of the dead under the mountain.

Re:But no Quenya or Sindarin? (1)

M8e (1008767) | about 4 years ago | (#33053926)

Yes, but they don't like it.

Great site (2, Funny)

Joey Vegetables (686525) | about 4 years ago | (#33044240)

I love this site [] which claims among other things that most of its translators are native Klingon speakers.

Re:Great site (1)

mjhacker (922395) | about 4 years ago | (#33045102)

Perfect for that conference you're about to have with the crew of that Klingon warship that's approaching with phasers and torpedoes armed. Open hailing frequencies...

Re:Great site (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33045252)

That's distruptors P’tach!!!!!!! :-)~

Re:Great site (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33050388)

DIvI' Duj lujonta' petaQ {{{:-)~

Re:Great site (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33066606)

Our translators are -
        Native translators
        Have University degree in the language they translate
        Are living in their native country or resided in their native country for at least 10 years

Oh, god.

Fond Memories (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33044254)

Awesome! I haven't been to Jenolan Caves for years but something like this will bring me back just to take a look. Guess their marketing worked :P

Gonna get rich. (1)

jack2000 (1178961) | about 4 years ago | (#33044308)

Should start selling Klingon wine.

Klingon Tour (4, Funny)

Ukab the Great (87152) | about 4 years ago | (#33044318)

"Qapla mates and welcome to the caves. I'm Gorvok and I'll be your guide today. Gakh and bloodwine are available at the concession stand on the surface, and if you truly have the stomach of a klingon, we also have Fosters. Just like a bird of prey, the caves also don't have bathrooms so make sure to hit the loo before we start. If you happen to get lost in the caves, just remember it's a good day to die and I'll see you in Stovalkor."

Re:Klingon Tour (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33044512)

Gakh and bloodwine are one thing, but FOSTER'S? Even for a Klingon, that's cruel.

Re:Klingon Tour (3, Funny)

$lashdot (472358) | about 4 years ago | (#33046050)

if you truly have the stomach of a klingon, we also have Fosters.

If they truly have the stomach of a Klingon, I'll expect them to enjoy Vegemite crumpets.

Re:Klingon Tour (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33046348)

if you truly have the stomach of a klingon, we also have Fosters.

If they truly have the stomach of a Klingon, I'll expect them to enjoy Vegemite crumpets.

Even Klingons have their limits.

Re:Klingon Tour (3, Informative)

sconeu (64226) | about 4 years ago | (#33046992)

You offer me Vegemite??? I should kill you where you stand!

Re:Klingon Tour (1)

AP31R0N (723649) | about 4 years ago | (#33056996)

Smile when you eat the vegemite.

Re:Klingon Tour (1)

socceroos (1374367) | about 4 years ago | (#33051572)

Vegemite is absolutely delicious. I enjoy a thick coat of it on well-buttered toast every morning.

Re:Klingon Tour (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33051982)

It is however an acquired taste. Usually in childhood. Beyond that age the addiction is never quite complete.

Re:Klingon Tour (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33048754)

You know you're having a sad day when you want to correct someone's spelling of Sto-Vo-Kor.

Why would you leave your parent's basement (1)

J.J. Dane (1562629) | about 4 years ago | (#33044348)

just to go cave exploring? Go grab some sunlight for chrissakes...

Oblig. Onion (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33044410),709/

MHa8e (-1, Redundant)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33044754)

would chhose to use long term survival for it. I don't Come on baby...and Philosophies must clothes or be a

Isn't that... (1)

Stick32 (975497) | about 4 years ago | (#33045072)

Two "Klingon Scholars" isn't that something of an oxymoron?

Oh nos! (1)

ctchristmas (1821682) | about 4 years ago | (#33045836)

They have assimilated.

Dogh qoH! (1)

ITBurnout (1845712) | about 4 years ago | (#33045862)

The thing about these sci-fi languages that I've always thought is silly is that on Earth we have, what, about 6,000 languages? But sci-fi worlds tend to have only one language for the whole planet. Or does that mean that we silly monkey-men have not yet evolved and progressed to the point where we are all one cohesive yellowish, black- brownish,reddish whitish bald race with purple goo on our heads and speak a singular guttural language? Although I have to say, if this is a trend for Australia, watching "Crocodile Dundee" with Klingon voiceovers would be awesome!

Re:Dogh qoH! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33046134)

once you achieve warp status it helps your civilization if you are all speaking the same language. See how dominant English is in the world? What do you think is going to happen in a hundred or two hundred more years...the entire world will be speaking English as the primary language.

Re:Dogh qoH! (2, Interesting)

ElectricTurtle (1171201) | about 4 years ago | (#33046384)

After a few generations of near-instant communication and transportation on the scale of 'anywhere in the world in 24 hours' I think that a planetary monoculture is inevitable. Cultural homogenization is visible throughout history and across geography. Cultural anthropologist Wade Davis among others believes that of those 6000 languages 90% will be extinct by 2050 (though I think his estimate is extreme and unscientific). In any case, the rate of language death is increasing. There were more languages going extinct in the 18th century than the 17th, more still in the 19th than the 18th, and there were almost three times as many language extinctions in the 20th as in the 19th century. With a finite number of languages and an increasing rate of extinction, it is not unreasonable that most languages will be dead in a few generations. (Especially as contemporary knowledge and commerce increasingly focus on a very limited set of languages.)

However, there is a mitigating element in the form of the advancement of computer generated translations. I remember translating pages with early versions of BabelFish and how they were still practically impossible to understand, but now when I translate pages I can actually get most of the information that they were intended to convey. If people don't necessarily "need" to learn other languages to access information and communicate cross-culturally, it may encourage them to retain and pass on more of their native language.

If I were a betting man, I would wager that in the next century or two the number of languages in common use will reduce to one or two hundred. Where things will be after a millennium or two I won't hazard to guess. I expect that in the not-to-distant future spoken and written language will be supplanted by a purely electronic communication between people via a neural interface of some kind. It's the only natural development I can imagine for the rudimentary neural interfaces currently extant.

Re:Dogh qoH! (1)

Psychochild (64124) | about 4 years ago | (#33051330)

If I were a betting man, I would wager that in the next century or two the number of languages in common use will reduce to one or two hundred.

If I were a betting man, I'd take you up on that for several reasons despite your assertion that rapid transit and near instant communication will reduce barriers. (Ignoring, of course, the fact that jet travel is becoming much more expensive and likely less common depending on how how oil supplies do over the next century.)

1. Many languages are spoken in very low-technology places. Most of the languages are also highly local. You mention 6000 languages, but keep in mind their are only about 195 or so countries in the world. That means that some geographic areas have a lot of languages that haven't already been subsumed for one reason or another.

2. We've had jet engines and the internet for decades now, and barriers between people haven't exactly been obliterated. If anything, it's reinforced humanity's natural tendency to seek out others that look/think/act like they do. It's not language related, but let's take a look at U.S. politics: has the internet made conservatives and progressives understand each other's point of view? No, if anything it's encouraged even more separation as it's been easier to go to a website that matches your own personal biases and have them reinforced by others.

3. Language is part of cultural identity for a lot of people. You go tell a Québécois he can't speak French, or tell a Basque he can't speak Euskara. Even in the U.S. the idea of trying to standardize on English as an official language often has racist connotations.

Now, yes, languages are dying out and they're becoming extinct faster and faster. But, to think that we're going to go down to only 200 language in a century? I strongly disagree. If I were forced to guess how many languages would remain, I think a more realistic number, assuming we are starting with 6000, would be about 3000-4000. I think the vast majority of lost languages would be people simply dying out and their descendants learning a more common local language.

Now, I will agree that among the educated and well-connected, we will see a dominant language. Currently, that is English. My guess is that it will remain as such, and become the "lingua franca" of online discussion and international business. But, given that French was previously considered the diplomatic language and is no more, understand that the position of a language is fragile.

Some thoughts from a language geek.

Re:Dogh qoH! (1)

sodul (833177) | about 4 years ago | (#33054166)

Some relatively small countries have several languages: Belgium has 3 official languages and is not large, same for Switzerland. There is a global push back against globalization where local cultures are getting praised and nourished where they used to be banned. I also think it is short sighted to consider that the need for a 'shared' language (especially when traveling) would cause language extinction. Most people are actually able to learn more than one language, it is quite common in some countries, especially europe, but usually not in the USA.
New languages are also created overtimes, based on existing languages: various creoles, or even plain old English forking like African American Vernacular English [] .

Re:Dogh qoH! (1)

alexandre_ganso (1227152) | about 4 years ago | (#33054734)

Actually, Switzerland has four. []

Same happens with Spain, which is quite small and has five. Inside Spain, the nation of Catalonia itself has two: Catalan (which is also spoken in Valencia, Balear Islands, the country of Andorra, south of France and in Sardinia, Italy) and Aranese, spoken by about 7000 inhabitants of a very isolated valley. []

Those languages are not diminishing, but actually, being more widely used, in spite of hundreds of years of spanish domination in those places.

Re:Dogh qoH! (1)

alexandre_ganso (1227152) | about 4 years ago | (#33054712)

And before that, latin, and before that, greek, If you think of western civilizations. I wonder what was used in the east and in the silk route...

Re:Dogh qoH! (1)

selven (1556643) | about 4 years ago | (#33046396)

In Star Trek you don't hear humans speaking anything but English. Also, you might notice that no technologically advanced planet in most sci fi universes has multiple governments operating on it. One world government, one world language.

Re:Dogh qoH! (1)

ITBurnout (1845712) | about 4 years ago | (#33046554)

And in Star Wars, even the topology of the planets/moons is singular. Hoth, the snow planet. Dagobah, the swamp world. Tattooine, the desert planet. Endor, the forest moon. Etc.

Re:Dogh qoH! (1)

tenco (773732) | about 4 years ago | (#33047968)

Earth, the ocean planet.

Re:Dogh qoH! (1)

ITBurnout (1845712) | about 4 years ago | (#33049428)

Except that it's not JUST ocean only (evidenced by the fact that I'm not breathing through gills). Earth has the environments of all of those other fictitious planets/moons I mentioned combined, plus a lot more. But yeah, I think our planet would have been more accurately named "Sea." Although referring to a human as a "sealing" (ceiling?) would be a little confusing...

Re:Dogh qoH! (1)

tenco (773732) | about 4 years ago | (#33055196)

As if Hoth would only be covered in snow or Tattoine fully covered with desert. A good 70% is IMHO good enough to characterize a planet with it.

Re:Dogh qoH! (1)

ITBurnout (1845712) | about 4 years ago | (#33057168)

As if? Dude, Hoth IS completely covered in snow and Tattooine WAS presented as nothing else but a desert plant. Endor was completely forest. Dagobah was completely swamp, for all we saw. No other environments were shown. That was my point. It would pretty much be the equivalent of, say, an alien race's entire knowledge of the planet Earth be limited to the movie "Waterworld." I'd like sci-fi planets to be more varied in their on-screen (or even in-written-novel) depictions than just being only "desert" or "swamp" or whatever.

Re:Dogh qoH! (1)

ITBurnout (1845712) | about 4 years ago | (#33057172)

Er, "plant" -- "planet"

Re:Its also set in the future (1)

Phrogman (80473) | about 4 years ago | (#33049250)

When we might have advanced enough to have only one world government and have gotten beyond all that nationalism. One (or more likely 2) remaining languages on Earth is a likely event given how few languages remain and how quickly we are losing them.

Re:Its also set in the future (1)

alexandre_ganso (1227152) | about 4 years ago | (#33054904)

We probably have one world government already, only that most does not know about. Bilderberg anyone?

Yawn... (1)

roc97007 (608802) | about 4 years ago | (#33048742)

Let me know when they provide audio tracks in Thermian.

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