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Company Presses Your Ashes Into Vinyl When You Die

samzenpus posted more than 4 years ago | from the music-of-the-soul dept.

Music 101

Lanxon writes "Music lovers can now be immortalized when they die by having their ashes baked into vinyl records to leave behind for loved ones, reports Wired. A UK company called And Vinyly is offering people the chance to press their ashes in a vinyl recording of their own voice, their favorite tunes or their last will and testament. Minimalist audiophiles might want to go for the simple option of having no tunes or voiceover, and simply pressing the ashes into the vinyl to result in pops and crackles."

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If you play it backwards (2, Funny)

Theoboley (1226542) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395092)

Will it play back demonic messages??

Re:If you play it backwards (1)

jeffmeden (135043) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395154)

Will it play back demonic messages??

That's assuming you went to heaven...

Re:If you play it backwards (1)

Theoboley (1226542) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395172)

this company should make a label.... "Haunted Records"

Re:If you play it backwards (1)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395250)

I'm sure Hollywood Undead would love to sign with them.

Re:If you play it backwards (1)

aliquis (678370) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395194)

For the geekiness I'd have to ask if they can't fix a system for turning it into a cassette tape containing a C64-demo instead.

Though personally I'd preferred to have an Amiga bootable floppy instead.

Re:If you play it backwards (1)

Critical Facilities (850111) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396190)

Will it play back demonic messages??

Well, on a somewhat related note, I think it's just a matter of moments before Slayer [guitarworld.com] announces a REALLY limited edition of this set. I'd bet that there would be at least 1 rabid fan who would donate his/her body to have it be involved in this....and no I'm not kidding (for anyone who hasn't ever been to a Slayer show, the fans are pretty rabid).

Re:If you play it backwards (1)

Froboz23 (690392) | more than 4 years ago | (#33398710)

Funny you should mention that. I'm going to a Slayer / Megadeth show in about 3 hours, in Phoenix AZ.

Tom Araya has such a pleasant singing voice. Their songs are mostly about nice things, like making new friends (Hell Awaits), sharing (Dead Skin Mask), the importance of being a good listener (Screaming from the Sky), or just enjoying a warm sunny day (Seasons in the Abyss).

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to frothing at the mouth and violently thrashing on the floor.

Slayer!
Slayer!
Slayer!!!

Re:If you play it backwards (1)

Critical Facilities (850111) | more than 4 years ago | (#33399748)

Holy crap!!! You're going to see "The big 4"??? I am now frothing at the mouth.....with insane jealousy. I haven't seen Slayer since the Seasons in the Abyss tour. What a great show.

\m/

Re:If you play it backwards (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33396730)

You will be born again!

You're OK until... (2, Funny)

WED Fan (911325) | more than 4 years ago | (#33397592)

You're o.k. until your grandkid pitches you in trash trash because you won't play on his iPod SubPico

Re:You're OK until... (1)

Phoghat (1288088) | more than 4 years ago | (#33402914)

They couldn't think of a more current medium? I mean Vinyl Record? Who the hell owns a turntable anymore?

Webmasterbelli (3, Funny)

WebmasterBelli (821216) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395130)

HEY! Get your stylus off of my B-side!

Do NOT use the AKDL1! (2, Funny)

IMightB (533307) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395160)

Do not play this record with a system that contains the Denon AKDL1.

http://www.amazon.com/Denon-AKDL1-Dedicated-Link-Cable/product-reviews/B000I1X6PM [amazon.com]

Re:Do NOT use the AKDL1! (1)

Jose (15075) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395362)

also ensure to not use any "memorex" gear.....seeing as their tagline is 'Is it live, or is it memorex?'

Re:Do NOT use the AKDL1! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33397942)

Or in this context, I guess it would be, "Is it undead, or is it Memorex?"

Re:Do NOT use the AKDL1! (1)

geekoid (135745) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395374)

When I was dead and cremated, My wife had this process done to me. She then accidentally played the album on are system that uses AKDL1 cables.
It brought me back from the dead and I can shoot Angels out of my eyes while projecting double rainbows from my halo.

OMG! You kill- (skip) (2, Funny)

archer, the (887288) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395168)

OMG! You kill- (skip)
OMG! You kill- (skip)
OMG! You kill- (skip)
OMG! (thump) -stards!

Spin me round (1)

MarkRose (820682) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395200)

Seen as how I can't dance, It'll be nice to get a grove when I'm dead.

Re:Spin me round (2, Funny)

smooth wombat (796938) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395220)

It'll be nice to get a grove when I'm dead.

A grove of what? Lemons? Oranges? Apples?

Re:Spin me round (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33397118)

Did you hear about the Buddhist who declared he wanted to be "Up tight, outta sight, and in the groove"? He was reincarnated as a tampon!

This was a Triumph (3, Funny)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395224)

I'm making a note here:

HUGE SUCCESS.

(I think thats how I'd like to be remembered)

Re:This was a Triumph (1)

DeadDecoy (877617) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395552)

Ya, just wait until they start looking for messages in the song:
I'm not even angry...
I'm being so sincere right now-
Even though you broke my heart,
and killed me.

Re:This was a Triumph (1)

Abstrackt (609015) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395920)

It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.

With your comment, that is!

Re:This was a Triumph (1)

CTU (1844100) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396706)

I'm making a note here:

HUGE SUCCESS.

(I think thats how I'd like to be remembered)

Same here...I would so pick the portal song :)

Re:This was a Triumph (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33396856)

You will be baked, and then there will be cake.

What song would you choose for yourself? (3, Funny)

rainmouse (1784278) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395226)

"Always look on the bright side of life"

Re:What song would you choose for yourself? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33395444)

Best eulogy ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsHk9WC7fnQ [youtube.com]

If I had any friends they'd do something like this for me after I died. This kind of eulogy makes death something to look forward to.

Re:What song would you choose for yourself? (1)

hosecoat (877680) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395474)

"Always look on the bright side of life"

Side B?

Re:What song would you choose for yourself? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33395512)

I was actually thinking of the sketch from Flying Circus.

"Well, we can burn her, bury her, or eat her."

"Eat her!?"

"Or we could press her into vinyl."

Re:What song would you choose for yourself? (1, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33395688)

I think Ashes to Ashes [youtube.com] would be appropriate.

Re:What song would you choose for yourself? (1)

Rakshasa Taisab (244699) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395704)

I'm going for audio recordings of me masturbating.

Re:What song would you choose for yourself? (1)

Chris Mattern (191822) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395786)

"Prop Me Up Inside the Jukebox When I Die"

Re:What song would you choose for yourself? (2, Funny)

pipingguy (566974) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396216)

"Sit On My Face" [youtube.com] and have a monument near the headstone. Perpetual recording playing only if the visitor sits in the right place (pressure plate activated).

That'd be even better than that famous Montreal inscription [snopes.com] .

Re:What song would you choose for yourself? (1)

jgrahn (181062) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396946)

"Always look on the bright side of life"

Or the obvious: "You spin me around like a record" by Pete Burns' one-hit-wonder Dead or Alive.

You must be an American (1)

way2trivial (601132) | more than 4 years ago | (#33397304)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dead_or_Alive_(band) [wikipedia.org]

"Although considered a one-hit wonder in the United States, two of their singles reached the Top 20 of the Billboard Hot 100. "You Spin Me Round" reached #11 in 1985 and "Brand New Lover" reached #15 in 1986."

Re:You must be an American (1)

Snarkalicious (1589343) | more than 4 years ago | (#33400994)

The second song that cruises in on name rec doesn't count. You must be a Brit, what with your fixation on echoes of glory and whatnot.

(yes yes, Sum Quod Eris, etc etc)

Re:What song would you choose for yourself? (1)

TapeCutter (624760) | more than 4 years ago | (#33400068)

I went to a funeral a couple of years ago where that was played as they wheeled out the coffin to the hearse, it really did sum up his attitude to life. Personally I would love to have John Cleese [youtube.com] deliver the eulogy at my funeral and have my ashes pressed into Pink Floyd's Time - "The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say".

Re:What song would you choose for yourself? (1)

Grendel70 (1000350) | more than 4 years ago | (#33404532)

Solsbury Hill

The ultimate conclusion (1)

Drakkenmensch (1255800) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395238)

The RIAA always did want to own and control our lives, I guess now it will do so once we're dead and printed into a format they can copyright.

Awesome (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33395242)

Sweet, Now I can rickroll from beyond the grave!

Nowhere close to good enough usage (3, Funny)

$RANDOMLUSER (804576) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395252)

It's already in my will: when I die I want to be cremated and have my ashes blown in the faces of people who annoyed me.

Re:Nowhere close to good enough usage (1)

baxnick (1732500) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395504)

I've requested that mine be nuked from orbit, it's the only way to be sure..

Re:Nowhere close to good enough usage (4, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33395508)

I think I'll have my urn sent to a stranger with a note that reads: "You did this." You know...just to mess with their head.

Re:Nowhere close to good enough usage (1)

Shadis (934448) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395610)

You sir are my new hero..I wish I had mod points for you today!

Re:Nowhere close to good enough usage (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33400764)

Ashes to assholes?

Dead format for dead people? (1)

gmuslera (3436) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395256)

Don't jump to my throat, vinyl is not dead, but is somewhat terminally ill. Can't they press a dvd or something more future proof with your ashes instead, while keeping the part of containing media about you?

Re:Dead format for dead people? (1)

veganboyjosh (896761) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395816)

Future proof? Don't we hear all the time about how DVD's aren't going to last more than 5 or 10 years? Meanwhile, records I've got from the 50's still sound great.

Re:Dead format for dead people? (1)

Abstrackt (609015) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396020)

Meanwhile, records I've got from the 50's still sound great.

I'm not usually one to sing vinyl's praises but I found a box full of records from 1940-1960 in the garage of my new house and they also still sound great. Meanwhile, I have CDs from 1990 that sound like crap from all the scratches.

Though knowing my kids, if I got pressed into vinyl they'd reshape me into an ashtray.

Re:Dead format for dead people? (3, Insightful)

Posting=!Working (197779) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396166)

Long after the last DVD player has broken down, you'll still be able to play a vinyl record.

A physical representation of music that can be played with a paper cup and a needle is much more future proof than an encrypted digital disc that needs a combination of specific hardware and software to play. In 100 years, I doubt much of the population will have even heard of a DVD, and approximately 0% will have the equipment to play them. The effort required to build a functional record player is very small, a crappy one can be done in minutes with household objects, a decent one could be built from scratch in a day. Building a DVD player from scratch after the last one ceases to function and adapting it to whatever display technology they'll have available then would be a massive undertaking.

YOu mean (2, Funny)

geekoid (135745) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395278)

they won't presses my ashes into vinyl before I die?

Can the be pressed into vinyl seat covers? Specifically Milla Jovovich bike seat cover.

Re:YOu mean (1)

hangman54 (661383) | more than 4 years ago | (#33397906)

Great idea!!!!!!!

Re:YOu mean (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33398972)

why settle for the bike seat cover when you can have that cool white strappy thing?

Re:YOu mean (1)

bill_mcgonigle (4333) | more than 4 years ago | (#33399000)

Specifically Milla Jovovich bike seat cover.

Senno ecto gammat.

Relatives of Minimalist audiophiles (1)

OzPeter (195038) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395298)

The relatives of the minimalist audiophiles then might get sued for copyright infringement of 4'33" [wikipedia.org] or have to pay royalties when playing that record.

Re:Relatives of Minimalist audiophiles (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#33397150)

I have written a derivative piece called 4'34" that is even better... am I subject to a copyright infringement lawsuit?

Sure you'll listen to me now... (2, Funny)

RevWaldo (1186281) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395318)

...now that it's too late.

.

Re:Sure you'll listen to me now... (1)

rubycodez (864176) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395868)

not exactly, we'll scratch to the beat of our favorite songs on your remains

Vinyl will never die (1)

mackil (668039) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395332)

I guess that means that Vinyl will never truly die, even if/because we will.

Finyl Vinyl (1)

frodo527 (614767) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395380)

Rainbow lives on. \m/

Audio will record? (2, Funny)

CeruleanDragon (101334) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395388)

Perfect. I'd create an audio will and when I die, have it recorded to the record. Then at the will reading have them play the vinyl. Then I want to be dipped in platinum and framed on a tombstone. Yes, perfect.

That vinyl record will be heavy... (3, Insightful)

mok000 (668612) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395390)

The weight of the ashes of an average male is around 3 kg.

That's much too much material for a single vinyl record. So either they throw away most of the ashes, or it's a scam altogether.

Re:That vinyl record will be heavy... (1)

misexistentialist (1537887) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396004)

If you've already been reduced to 3kg, using only a small portion of your ashes isn't significant as long as they have been well-stirred.

Re:That vinyl record will be heavy... (1)

rHBa (976986) | more than 4 years ago | (#33397712)

I'm sure they offer a boxset option. Personally I'd have "Now That's What I call Music" volumes 1-12 just to annoy everyone.

Re:That vinyl record will be heavy... (1)

0x15e (961860) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396350)

TFA mentions that they actually make 30 of them. Still seems like there would be some waste, though.

Re:That vinyl record will be heavy... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33399112)

TFA mentions that they actually make 30 of them. Still seems like there would be some waste, though.

That depends, if you're oriental you get a few albums, if you're American you get a whole artists discography!

Oh and throw in a record player so now you can really spin in your grave!!

Anonymous Coward (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33395406)

Boston's More Then A Feeling, totally the song I would put on my record.

Copyright? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33395424)

Surely there's a copyright infringement issue with pressing a vinyl of 'Yellow Submarine', even if it is made from a dead guy...

I know what I must do... (1)

beefnog (718146) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395454)

In my last will and testament, I will request that the record be played on the anniversary of my death, or the assets they received from me will become public property. On the record itself - a recording of me banging their mother / grandmother / great grandmother. Take that leeches!

Re:I know what I must do... (1)

Nidi62 (1525137) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395544)

Then they just make a turntable with a timer on it, and stick it in a sound-proof room. You might want to stipulate that it be LISTENED to, not just played.

My kids... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33395462)

My kids would likely take one look at it, wonder what it was, and toss it in the trash.

Can I get my ashes pressed into an ipod?

Re:My kids... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33397886)

My kids would likely take one look at it, wonder what it was, and toss it in the trash.

Can I get my ashes pressed into an ipod?

Your grandkids will likely take one look at it, wonder what it was, and toss it in the trash.

That's if your kids haven't already tossed it in the trash for being last year's model and/or broken...

Re:My kids... (1)

Sal Zeta (929250) | more than 4 years ago | (#33402286)

That's one of the best outcomes.

If they are into djing, you could become a Lady Gaga Remix.

Planned obsolescence (2, Insightful)

tverbeek (457094) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395472)

That seems like an awful lot of effort just to make sure that your family are unable to listen to your final message to them.

"So, Bob, do you have a record player?"
"I think Grandpa Smith has a turntable on the old stereo system in his living room."

I hear dead people (1)

Darinbob (1142669) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395524)

I think mine will just say "boo!"

Is it undead, or is it Memorex? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33395554)

Hopefully Memorex.

Death Rattle records (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33395598)

Last words, "Cough, gag, gasp, aaaahhhhhh".

Double Death (1)

DrugCheese (266151) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395604)

Why make something that is only going to fade with time until it itself dies again.

I'd rather have my remains made into a Diamond [lifegem.com]

Re:Double Death (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33396430)

Diamonds aren't forever either. Might as well live it up. Can I be made into a vibrator?

What Mine Will Say (1)

Java Commando (726093) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395686)

My recorded will shall read:

"For the road to salvation and repentance must be paved up the avenue of my soul, and not up yours... up yours... up yours... up yours..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jr8xYH9ork8 [youtube.com]

Zeppelin IV (2, Informative)

masmullin (1479239) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395744)

If theres a bustle in your hedgerow, dont be alarmed now. It's just the spring clean for the may queen. Yes there are two roads you can go down, but int the long run. Theres still time to change the row you're on.

Re:Zeppelin IV (2, Funny)

$RANDOMLUSER (804576) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396732)

AAAAHHHH! Now that song's stuck in my head! Get it out!! GET IT OUT!!!

P.S.: There's still time to change the road you're on.

P.P.S: "but int the long run" - possible loss of precision

Re:Zeppelin IV (2, Funny)

Critical Facilities (850111) | more than 4 years ago | (#33397258)

AAAAHHHH! Now that song's stuck in my head! Get it out!! GET IT OUT!!!

Sure, no problem:

"I see a little silhouetto of a man Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will you do the Fandango"

That ought to do it.

Re:Zeppelin IV (1)

rHBa (976986) | more than 4 years ago | (#33398102)

Just in case:

I am sitting In the morning at the diner on the corner
I am waiting at the counter for the man to pour the coffee
And he fills it only halfway and before I even argue
He is looking out the window at somebody coming in

Duh duh der der, duh duh der der, duh duh der der der der der der

Re:Zeppelin IV (1)

unr3a1 (1264666) | more than 4 years ago | (#33398524)

God, I love that song.

As far as this "service" I find it to be creepy. Very very creepy.

RIAA will sue your estate for infringement (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33395752)

Remember, for them to press a *copy* of any given song, you must have obtained a license for the right to reproduce a copy of that song onto vinyl.
It's called "mechanical rights" in the trade.

I suspect the RIAA lawyes will be called in to file a cease and desist against "And Vinyly" to refuse to record any music or performance onto your vinyl without first obtaining a license to reproduce said work from the copyright holder.

And you can't even have them record nothing/silence on your vinyl without infringing upon John Cage's 4'33" (c)1952.

Even then, the RIAA can file to have the court seize the unauthorized/unlicensed copy of a copyrighted work (if you record anything other than a performance to which you own the rights to or was recorded prior to enactment of copyright laws to steal creative works from the public domain). And since you're *in* the record, you obviously cannot defend against this in court.

Even if you are *in* the record, the RIAA will still argue that you have merely created a derivative work.

Now, embedding urine and feces in such a vinyl recording of say, some banal pop dreck (Justin Beiber, anyone?) while you are alive could be argued and defended that the work was a work of parody and critical commentary on the underlying recording.

Are they Baking in the turntable too? (1)

icebike (68054) | more than 4 years ago | (#33395770)

Oh, great, just as turn tables all but vanish from the face of the earth we invent something to make them vanish faster. It would creep me out to listen to a dead person's planned recording, so it would have to be something I would pass on to my kids, who would probably be disinterested. There go two generations of disuse and disinterest during which more turntables would vanish.

Why not engrave the deceased thoughts on buggy whips?

Helter Skelter (1)

belthize (990217) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396456)

Well now we know what to do with Charles Manson.

2 Sided? (1)

Jason Levine (196982) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396662)

Can it have 2 sides? On one side I can calmly be exclaiming how great Heaven is. On the other side, however........

Aphex Twin (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33396738)

I'd prefer something more cryptic like having this [bastwood.com] but of my face (and maybe less creepy)

Still alive (1)

EonsWrath (1888134) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396832)

Horror records, we make dead people into records, for the people who are still alive. I am playing on your record player and im... still alive.

I have a better question for TFS (1)

roman_mir (125474) | more than 4 years ago | (#33396940)

Why wait till death, press yourself into a Vinyl right now!

Oops (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 4 years ago | (#33397184)

I wanted to get cremated, but I wound up just making an ash of myself...

Alternative Bling (1)

zmaragdus (1686342) | more than 4 years ago | (#33398042)

A more expensive post-cremation...procedure...I've heard about is a company that takes your ashes and subjects them to intense pressures for days (maybe even weeks). After the process is done, you're left with a rough diamond, which is (reportedly) tinted blue because of the composition of your body. Costs thousands of dollars, but then you get a new existence as a sparkly piece of carbon.

Re:Alternative Bling (1)

vux984 (928602) | more than 4 years ago | (#33398414)

How long before it falls apart again?

Re:Alternative Bling (1)

zmaragdus (1686342) | more than 4 years ago | (#33408218)

I'm not an expert in chemistry (I'm an electrical engineer by trade), but I would think that if the carbon was formed into a real diamond, it wouldn't break apart easily. Each carbon atom in a diamond is linked to four others nearby in a tetrahedral shape. This makes for a very strong bond. Graphite, by contrast, consists of carbon atoms linked to only three neighboring atoms in a sort of hexagon-tile sheet. This makes it pretty easy for them to break apart.

Here's more on synthetic diamonds [wikipedia.org] and here's the website of a company [lifegem.com] that makes them.

So, my heirs will be able to... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33398116)

spin my grave?

Music? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 4 years ago | (#33398728)

Can it play Another Bites the Dust by Queen?

When I die? (1)

pedantic bore (740196) | more than 4 years ago | (#33399654)

I would so much prefer this to happen after I am dead.

their favorite tunes? (1)

sixsixtysix (1110135) | more than 4 years ago | (#33404206)

riaa is gonna have a field day with this.

fatties = double LP? (1)

sixsixtysix (1110135) | more than 4 years ago | (#33404218)

do fat people get a double LP?
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