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In Case of Emergency, Please Remove Your Bra

samzenpus posted about 4 years ago | from the breathing-easy dept.

Idle 123

An anonymous reader writes "Caught in a disaster with harmful airborne particles? You'd better hope you're wearing the Emergency Bra. Simply unsnap the bright red bra, separate the cups, and slip it over your head — one cup for you, and one for your friend. Dr. Elena Bodnar won an Ig Nobel Award for the invention last year, an annual tribute to scientific research that on the surface seems goofy but is often surprisingly practical. And now Bodnar has brought the eBra to the public; purchase one online for just $29.95."

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Why didn't I think of this... (5, Funny)

g0bshiTe (596213) | about 4 years ago | (#33687488)

Protect your lungs and smell breast sweat...bonus.

Re:Why didn't I think of this... (1)

jhoegl (638955) | about 4 years ago | (#33687542)

Is there milk in them thar hills?

Re:Why didn't I think of this... (1)

precariousgray (1663153) | about 4 years ago | (#33687828)

Speaking of bodily fluids, your post just caused me to expel saliva from my mouth.

Re:Why didn't I think of this... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33687948)

Coming soon the portal Emergency Jock Strap! double layered so your friend can be protected as well!!

Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (1, Redundant)

clone53421 (1310749) | about 4 years ago | (#33687960)

It had already been posted on Slashdot almost a year ago. You must’ve missed it...

http://entertainment.slashdot.org/story/09/10/02/1327225/2009-Ig-Nobels-Awarded-For-Gas-Mask-Bras-and-More [slashdot.org]

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (3, Informative)

Ohrion (814105) | about 4 years ago | (#33688062)

It's not a repost, The new info is the bra is now commercially available.

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (0, Troll)

clone53421 (1310749) | about 4 years ago | (#33688158)

Sort of like the non-repost Apple articles where we get weekly updates on subtle nuances of the upcoming releases, another article announcing when it launched, and then weekly updates on the sales after the launch? Okay, got it.

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (4, Funny)

Hylandr (813770) | about 4 years ago | (#33688210)

So now big boobs can be linked to high chances of survival? Will bra's start coming ratted in CFM rather than by Cup? Time for my Wife to get that boob job, "Think of the children dear!"

- Dan.

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (3, Funny)

Moryath (553296) | about 4 years ago | (#33688358)

Next up: the zombie-killing ammunition-loaded bra, for those afraid of zombie attack.

Available in sizes from .22 A-cup "Peashooter" all the way to 500-mm EEE-cup "Big Bertha."

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (1)

Surt (22457) | about 4 years ago | (#33688520)

Well ... what happens if your bra doesn't make a tight fit over your mouth because it is too big?

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (4, Funny)

Hylandr (813770) | about 4 years ago | (#33688564)

I die happy?

- Dan.

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33688672)

Well ... what happens if your bra doesn't make a tight fit over your mouth because it is too big?

Which is too big? Mouth or Bra?

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33689908)

One of those, I think, is impossible. The other should probably be more accurately referred to as “mouth correct size, bra too small”.

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (1)

Wiarumas (919682) | about 4 years ago | (#33689292)

Talk about natural selection in full swing!

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (2, Funny)

clone53421 (1310749) | about 4 years ago | (#33689738)

Hey! We’ll have no swinging, swaying, or bouncing here... that’s what the bra was for!

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (1)

clone53421 (1310749) | about 4 years ago | (#33688282)

Mods have a fickle sense of humour. I thought it was fairly obvious that I wrote that tongue-firmly-planted-in-cheek. Ah well... no biggie really.

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (1)

OolimPhon (1120895) | about 4 years ago | (#33689018)

Eh... tongue firmly planted where, exactly?

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (2, Funny)

clone53421 (1310749) | about 4 years ago | (#33689158)

Tongue-in-cheek, cheek-in-bra?

This new system of cheeks and bralessness could definitely bear further investigation...

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (1)

Gilmoure (18428) | about 4 years ago | (#33689664)

Buzz-buzz.

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (1)

clone53421 (1310749) | about 4 years ago | (#33690276)

I’m sorry, I couldn’t understand you... your bra seems to be in the way and no I wasn’t staring at your tits!

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33690202)

Psh... cheeky women going braless distributing gas masks is no basis for a system of government!

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33688364)

Yes, exactly. Clearly Slashdot is in the "pocket" of Big emergency Bra.

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (1)

clone53421 (1310749) | about 4 years ago | (#33688388)

We at least all know where their heads have been, then...

Re:Why didn't you think of this, indeed... (1)

memojuez (910304) | about 4 years ago | (#33688414)

LOL! Mod parent up!!

And how many people on /. will ever see them? (1)

Even on Slashdot FOE (1870208) | about 4 years ago | (#33687506)

No, your mom's eBra does not count. Or eBras still in the packaging.

Re:And how many people on /. will ever see them? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33687722)

Probably quite a few for all the moobs.

Re:And how many people on /. will ever see them? (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33688306)

I realize it's the generally accepted dogma around here that us nerds can't get laid. But, let me tell you something, getting a woman in bed is easy. I'm a bonafide nerd to the nth degree and I have a chick that fucks me everyday, blows me as much as I want, swallows everything and then when we're done, she leaves. And, no, I don't pay her. I met her, chatted her up, asked her what she was looking for in a relationship to which she simply replied, "I'm just looking for 'FWB' right now." Well, it just so happens, I'm looking for the same thing right about now. And with that, a beautiful relationship was born. Seriously, fuck that getting married shit. When's the last time your wife let you fuck her then when you were about to blow your wad, quickly pull out of her pussy and let go in her mouth? And this chick asks for that. She sucks my cock, then keeps working all of the little dribbles out so she can swallow that too. And once she starts cumming, she just keeps going and going and going. I mean, obviously, she's a nympho [wikipedia.org] but, hey, I'm cool with that.

So, to sum it up, nerds, take heart. If you're young (I'm 33 so I'm not), and you haven't gotten laid yet, you will. There is, I guarantee you, a girl at your school right now that is eying you and you just don't know it. And she will fuck you. But, play it safe, okay?

Re:And how many people on /. will ever see them? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33689406)

But, play it safe, okay?

As the father of two children I can safely say that birth control doesn't work 100% effectively, so sooner or later no matter how safe you are chances are good you'll end up being a dad, and all that implies.

Has Slashdot turned into the Drudge Report? (0, Troll)

FooAtWFU (699187) | about 4 years ago | (#33687530)

Seriously, what is this "story" doing here? *sigh* Next thing you know, we'll see tabloidy pseudo-populist, mostly-right-wing takes on all the major news headlines, too.

Re:Has Slashdot turned into the Drudge Report? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33687576)

It's in 'Idle' you retard.

Re:Has Slashdot turned into the Drudge Report? (5, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33687600)

Two points:

1. this is idle
2. this is an ig noble award recipient. IG's are about on the same geeky level as a Klingon opera.

Re:Has Slashdot turned into the Drudge Report? (0, Flamebait)

operagost (62405) | about 4 years ago | (#33687608)

As opposed to the tabloidy pseudo-populist, mostly-left-wing takes on the news that we normally see?

Oh great (2, Funny)

zill (1690130) | about 4 years ago | (#33687548)

Stupid impulse purchases.

Now I have to grow out my man-boobs in order to justify that $29.95 + shipping.

Re:Oh great (4, Funny)

Shakrai (717556) | about 4 years ago | (#33687638)

Now I have to grow out my man-boobs

See, if you were an American you would already have them ;)

Re:Oh great (1)

Stihdjia (1870316) | about 4 years ago | (#33690256)

or you could get a girlfriend.

Survival manual (4, Funny)

RenHoek (101570) | about 4 years ago | (#33687636)

So when the siren sounds, start groping nearby females in search of a gasmask. :)

Re:Survival manual (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33687764)

Real story:
Emergency siren sounds
- 'Scuse me, miss, are you wearing an emergency bra?
- What?! No, you pervert!
- Oh, let me just double check in case you forgot...
The End
Best excuse ever!

Re:Survival manual (1)

couchslug (175151) | about 4 years ago | (#33687904)

"So when the siren sounds, start groping nearby females in search of a gasmask. :) "

That may be too late. You'll need to don the mask in seconds. That takes training. Lots of training. :)

Re:Survival manual (2, Funny)

TheLink (130905) | about 4 years ago | (#33688002)

Well hopefully the Emergency Bra is easy to unclasp... I've heard some bras are rather difficult to remove.

Not speaking from experience of course (I'm a virgin slashdotter after all).

Re:Survival manual (1)

rubycodez (864176) | about 4 years ago | (#33688102)

that should soften the mood though, to tell surrounding women you "don't want to die a virgin" as you attempt to rip their shirts and bras off. Surely at least one in ten would buy that line. Let me know how it goes.

And if you carry a bottle of water with you can make any bra at least partially effective as a smoke filter, as I recall firefighter's advice to "put a wet towel over your face and head toward exits".

Re:Survival manual (1)

MoriT (1747802) | about 4 years ago | (#33688566)

Only if you've never done it before.

Re:Survival manual (5, Funny)

Reilaos (1544173) | about 4 years ago | (#33687916)

Remember to help yourself before assisting others.

Re:Survival manual (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33688412)

That's your mom's motto too.

Re:Survival manual (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33689140)

Can't wait for the building-wide drills to start...

Beats snorkling air from a toilet... (2, Funny)

Nethemas the Great (909900) | about 4 years ago | (#33687700)

demo here [survivaltopics.com]

Re:Beats snorkling air from a toilet... (1)

TheLink (130905) | about 4 years ago | (#33687950)

That seems a stupid idea to me.

If the fire is close enough that enough toxic fumes are getting into your bathroom despite your attempts at sealing it, I think you're just a few minutes away from incineration.

If it's just the fumes and the fire is far (but you somehow can't escape), just seal the toilet, you can live on the air for a few hours.

A human being uses about 550 litres (19 cubic feet) of oxygen per day. So that's about 100 cubic feet of air for 24 hours. Or 10 cubic feet of air for 1-2 hours.

If they haven't put out the fire after 2 hours, you're toast anyway.

Re:Beats snorkling air from a toilet... (1)

oldmac31310 (1845668) | about 4 years ago | (#33689446)

I think it is just a stupid idea. No need to explain!

Re:Beats snorkling air from a toilet... (1)

Arrepiadd (688829) | about 4 years ago | (#33688144)

Great! Now you don't die of the fire, you die from the decomp gases...

Let's not forget also the fact that that small pool of water in the toilet is there to separate the sewage system from your bathroom. The smell and composition of the air on the other side of the toilet pool should be rather nasty. Sewage workers have CO2, H2S and whatnot detectors with them for a reason.
Not sure inhaling that air won't kill you faster than the fumes from the fire...

Re:Beats snorkling air from a toilet... (1)

interkin3tic (1469267) | about 4 years ago | (#33688630)

The article linked there does mention that as a hazard to be careful of. Though if I'm trapped in a bathroom without air, I probably don't have time to look at blueprints to see if my toilet is vented.

Also, in the panic of an emergency, I wouldn't remember where my snorkel was and if I did, I would probably inhale first before expelling the water from the tube, essentially drinking toilet water with a big straw.

Re:Beats snorkling air from a toilet... (1)

TheLink (130905) | about 4 years ago | (#33690298)

I think the trick is, after doing that no matter whether you fail or succeed, you'd welcome the fiery doom ;).

Anyway, there's plenty of air in the room itself, enough for an hour or two. Better to keep around some stuff to seal the gaps to keep the gases out. It won't keep the fire out, but if the fire comes in, you drinking toilet water or breathing shit fumes ain't gonna help.

Re:Beats snorkling air from a toilet... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33689724)

Couldn't you just turn off the water and flush the toilet dry? Smashing windows would also do the same thing.

I don't have a problem with this; do you? (1)

noidentity (188756) | about 4 years ago | (#33687736)

In Case of Emergency, Please Remove Your Bra

I don't have a problem with this, not at all. Now, to find the nearest fire alarm...

How is this innovation? (1)

e065c8515d206cb0e190 (1785896) | about 4 years ago | (#33687740)

That woman on the picture. How she has that bra on her face. I've been doing that for years!

only 32B to 40C? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33687742)

Busty ladies should be able to save my life, too. :(

eCup (4, Funny)

SteveHeadroom (13143) | about 4 years ago | (#33687788)

Wow, this is so much more appealing than my eCup idea for men.

Re:eCup (2, Funny)

quatin (1589389) | about 4 years ago | (#33688166)

Don't underestimate the cup, I wear one all the time when asking women if I can put my face in their bra.

Dumb idea (1)

tomhudson (43916) | about 4 years ago | (#33687818)

If you're going to take off your top to take off your bra, why nut just do like everyone already does - lift up the front of your top to cover your nose and mouth instead? Quicker, larger filter area, etc.

Re:Dumb idea (1)

ElectricTurtle (1171201) | about 4 years ago | (#33687880)

Presumably these are designed to filter better than the fabric of the average T-shirt.

Re:Dumb idea (1)

Abstrackt (609015) | about 4 years ago | (#33687890)

If you're going to take off your top to take off your bra, why nut just do like everyone already does - lift up the front of your top to cover your nose and mouth instead? Quicker, larger filter area, etc.

Looking at the picture, I think the biggest advantage of wearing the bra cup is that it frees your hands and is less likely to slip off your face.

tomhudson: Get a job you loser (-1, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33689314)

The subject says it all: Get a job, and get a life, you slashdot loser. You sit around here all day long and wonder why your life blows so badly. Your attitude is a product of your loser like life.

Funny thing ... (1)

tomhudson (43916) | about 4 years ago | (#33690182)

Well, let's see ... that was a really constructive post. Do you feel better?

I hit the job boards every day. In an area of several million, do you know how many new IT jobs were posted in the last week (as opposed to reposting the same job with ridiculous requirements)? Zero. None. Nada. Zip. Null. Locally, IT lost way more than 10% of it's jobs so far this year, and the trend is expected to continue.

How bad is it? The place I used to work at has laid off 2/3 of their staff, and all but one programmer. I was too expensive to keep on the books, unless I wanted to take both a 50% pay cut and a 50% cut in hours (that's a 75% pay cut) on top of a previous 20% cut (gross total cut of 80%). They had to cut back because the previous team screwed up so bad, that by the time I had fixed most of their mistakes (at least the ones that I was *allowed* to fix - the design is still crap, but at least it works), they were in trouble, having lost some of their biggest clients - including some household names.

I also have ads out looking for work. All that comes back is people who don't know what they want, and don't want to explain what they want because I can then "steal their great idea", or scams along the lines of "I'll give you a share of the revenues" or equally unrealistic garbage. Why do you think I need to relocate? Why do you think that half my family already has? Or that this month another friend left the country to work elsewhere?

So why shouldn't I put some of my time into coming up with a way to make things simpler? Who knows, it might lead to something better elsewhere in the world. And why not be honest about the underlying causes of the 3-decades-long under-performance of the local economy cause by successive governments chasing away business by discriminating against the English minority? Ignoring it won't make it go away - it just makes it easier to think "Oh, it's like this everywhere." It's not.

There ... I feel better already :-)

No good for Slashdot crowd (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33687848)

[scene] Dozens of fully clothed dead men and women lying around the computer room
[Officer 1] What happened here?
[Officer 2] These poor souls died in the gas attack
[Officer 1] What?! Everybody else in the building survived just fine. They used those new-fangled gas mask bras.
[Officer 2, Checking a few bodies] I see several of these women are wearing those bras. Why didn't these people use them?
[Officer 1, Reading the bra's instructions] "Step 1, remove bra"...Step 2..."
[Officer 2] Well, there's the problem right away. This is a Slashdot crowd; no experience in removing bras.

Re:No good for Slashdot crowd (0)

ElectricTurtle (1171201) | about 4 years ago | (#33687894)

Yeah, that joke might have been funny if it didn't involve the suspension of disbelief that women couldn't take off their own bras because they read Slashdot. Further it requires the suspension of disbelief that women read Slashdot at all. As I understand it the female readership is something like 10%.

Re:No good for Slashdot crowd (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33689082)

...requires the suspension of disbelief that women read Slashdot at all. As I understand it the female readership is something like 10%.

Wait, since when did 10% = 0% ? Anyhow, the relevant statistic is "what percentage of women who hang out with Slashdot-reading men in a computer room likewise read Slashdot?"

Ok. ElectricTurtle analyzed the joke half to death and I got the other half. Anything we missed?

Re:No good for Slashdot crowd (1)

godrik (1287354) | about 4 years ago | (#33688824)

You could make a similar one where the geek put the fire on to see the girl take her bra off !

Re:No good for Slashdot crowd (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33688902)

You could make a similar one where the geek put the fire on to see the girl take her bra off !

I tried writing something along those lines, but, being part of the Slashdot crowd myself, I had no idea how to continue after "she unbuttoned her blouse"

In other news (1)

SnarfQuest (469614) | about 4 years ago | (#33687886)

False alarms for chemical attacks have increased 800%. The issue is still under investigation.

Great idea! (2, Funny)

Sedated2000 (1716470) | about 4 years ago | (#33687892)

And if she's wearing edible panties, you have an emergency food supply after the disaster hits!

The closest many will ever come... (0, Redundant)

bradley13 (1118935) | about 4 years ago | (#33687952)

Hey, this may be the closest some /. readers will ever come to a breast!

Pickup Lines That Will Never Work. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33688028)

ibid.

The old fantasy ... (1)

jbeaupre (752124) | about 4 years ago | (#33688032)

I and a nation full of busty women are the only survivors of a terrible disaster. In real life, my wife is busty, so she'd survive. But I'm sure she'd understand the need to to save humanity. What could go wrong?

1 girl 2 cup - the movie (2, Funny)

sourcerror (1718066) | about 4 years ago | (#33688098)

1 girl 2 cup

If they can just touch each other...barely... (1)

Ukab the Great (87152) | about 4 years ago | (#33688106)

Wonder Twin Powers Activate!

TFA hints at a male version (1)

snspdaarf (1314399) | about 4 years ago | (#33688112)

No way am I clamping a codpiece (mine, or anyone else) on my face. Mr. Happy's been in there.

My first reaction (1)

nilbog (732352) | about 4 years ago | (#33688226)

I know that if my plane is going down, my first reaction would be to get as many bras off of as many ladies as possible. Now I can just say I'm doing it for safety.

Re:My first reaction (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33690122)

I was thinking that having the bra already off just gets you ready for last-minute end-of-the-world sex with the nearest person in case the s**t really hits the fan.

Weird Science (1)

HTH NE1 (675604) | about 4 years ago | (#33688252)

"Why are we wearing bras on our heads?"
"It's ceremonial."

And a bro... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33688340)

for us guys? (Seinfeld joke)

Okay, but, would a man wear a bra in preparation to save his own life?

Bad idea? (1)

digiplant (581943) | about 4 years ago | (#33688402)

Seems like this would only cause more frequent emergencies.

cum (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33688422)

Name on the jar of Fortuna7ely, Linux it 3ill be among sales and so on,

Great (1)

Dancindan84 (1056246) | about 4 years ago | (#33688522)

So now the terrorists will be going for chemical weapons. "Ahmed, if you complete this task you will be rewarded with 72 virgins. And a bunch of pretty infidel women removing their undergarments as a bonus."

Re:Great (1)

MoriT (1747802) | about 4 years ago | (#33688634)

Women in the US, at least, can remove their own bras without taking off their shirts. It just involves unclasping your bra and then shimmying the strap down under your sleeves one at a time. Depending on the shirt you either pull it out a sleeve or down the bottom of the shirt. Donning a new bra requires you to actually take your arms out of your sleeves, so they'd have better luck at catching sight of some nipple if they found a weapon that could be defended against by putting on a bra.

The More You Know.

During the SARS period (5, Interesting)

troll8901 (1397145) | about 4 years ago | (#33688558)

During the highly-infectious SARS period in 2003, several countries in East Asia were in a state of emergency. N95-rated respirator masks were in extreme short supply.

One bra-manufacturing factory in Taiwan quickly modified its process and churned out masks instead - using the cup and straps as its basic design.

It was a godsend among the Taiwanese who were greatly desperate for protection against the deadly virus, which spreads via tiny droplets of saliva sneezed/coughed into the air.

Nerve gas? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33688614)

I've heard that some nerve gases are absorbed directly through the skin. In fact I think it is one of the most potent ones. How does this help with these?

Re:Nerve gas? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33689206)

It increases your probability of dying as a happy person.

I was going to complain... (1)

itsdapead (734413) | about 4 years ago | (#33688770)

...about what us males are supposed to do, but then I realised they come in pairs! - I hope that in the event of a gas attack/viral outbreak/collapsed building our female bretheren (er...) will be generous and share their equipment.

Re:I was going to complain... (2, Funny)

Belial6 (794905) | about 4 years ago | (#33688988)

Yes! Finally, my crazy survivalist rantings will make women want to take their bra's off for me! I knew that all those years living alone in a shack in the woods would eventually pay off!

"Wide Variety of sizes"? (1)

mad_ian (28771) | about 4 years ago | (#33689006)

32b to 40c is a "wide variety of sizes"?

So what am I supposed to do, since My wife has DDD's?

~DW

Re:"Wide Variety of sizes"? (1)

droopus (33472) | about 4 years ago | (#33689188)

Cut out eyeholes?

Jockstrap version for men (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33689008)

This device seems sexist. They should create a jockstrap version for men. As a man, I feel I would like to be helpful in times of emergency by letting other people put my jockstrap around their mouths for protection.

mod 04 (-1, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33689028)

you aal is to let distehnded. All I

Two things... (1)

LABarr (14341) | about 4 years ago | (#33689054)

1.) Get to have our lungs protected from harmful dust AND have our women running around "bra-less" Sweet!

2.) Imagine how much more interesting Emergency Prepardness drills will be now.

"Counterpart device for men"` (1)

sorak (246725) | about 4 years ago | (#33689146)

There is also some noise of a "counterpart device for men" in the works

My balls aren't that big.

And in other news (1)

northernfrights (1653323) | about 4 years ago | (#33689204)

Sales of teargas has unexpectedly tripled, leaving the industry to scramble to meet demand...

I can breath easier now.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 4 years ago | (#33689286)

I can breath easier now...

Just a guess, but I think... (1)

vortex2.71 (802986) | about 4 years ago | (#33689522)

that false alarms will become more frequent :-)

Fetish Alert! (1)

BigSes (1623417) | about 4 years ago | (#33690082)

This has fetish written all over it. Well, until some big fat sweaty lady in the automotive section at Wal-Mart saves your life with her DD bra! Wait a minute...two fetishes in one!

Hey! (1)

The Wild Norseman (1404891) | about 4 years ago | (#33690552)

Now I can finally patent my idea for flame-proof underwear.

I'll be not only safe but stylish with my woman's bra on my face and her matching panties on my head.
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