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Real-Life Gadgets For Real-Life Superheroes

samzenpus posted more than 3 years ago | from the hero-on-a-budget dept.

Crime 391

cylonlover writes "Yes, there are real-life superheroes. And no, we're not just referring to firefighters, paramedics, and other heroic people whom we're used to seeing come to the rescue of others. We're talking about costume-wearing, identity-concealing, cool-name-having people who fight crime, pollution, or other evils in their own communities, on their own time, and at their own risk. Many of them actually patrol the city streets, ready to intervene if they see trouble brewing – and being ready includes having the right tools. Given that none of these people have Bruce Wayne's budget, Gizmag takes a look at some of the real-world gadgets they use as they go about their crime-fighting duties."

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391 comments

Oh common.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34178720)

This seems more like the type of stuff "every day carry" forum goers tend to go on about.

I was expecting the jaws of life, IR/thermal cameras, or those nifty saws they have now that can cut through the roof of a car without slicing open the victim or sending gasoline exploding sparks everywhere.

Even some of those "oh yeah right" less than lethal devices that are being developed might have been interesting.

Instead I got a bunch of toys of dubious usefulness that would probably fall apart if used for any period of time.

I think it should be noted that most "real life gadgets" I've seen are not sleek and cool looking. They are boxy, rugged, and usually scratched up/covered in grease. They get lugged around, used in and around fires, soaked with water, etc.

I find the claim that random vigilanties are walking around with any of this stuff and actually helping people at least somewhat hard to believe. I don't doubt there is a community of people who like to dress up in this gear and attend gatherings / "training" .. but I'd be curious how many actual incidents have been reported.

Then again I live in Canada where we don't all generally think the government is out to get us you get in a lot of trouble for defending yourself so forget about defending someone else. Maybe this kind of thing is more common "down there" in the states.

Re:Oh common.. (1)

jameskojiro (705701) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178770)

You can get into trouble in Canada for trying to Defend yourself or others?

That totally sucks.

Re:Oh common.. (4, Informative)

Anrego (830717) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178822)

It really does!

I'm from Canada.. and I've never been in the situation, but as I understand it even if someone breaks into your living room, WHILE YOU ARE THERE, you can still get in trouble for using "excessive force" if you seriously injure the person. If you have a gun (for say, hunting).. even pointing it at the person will land _you_ in trouble. The laws are even murky is he has a gun (did you really think he was going to use it?). It's quite insane!

The criminal.. well he's just a missunderstood victim of society, we can rehabilitate him with your tax dollars!

Personally I think once someone decides to break into your home, you have every right to bludgeon him to death with a crow bar. Maybe if that was a potential outcome of breaking into someones house, people wouldn't do it so often.. ..I'm not bitter or anything..

Re:Oh common.. (1)

Utini420 (444935) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178868)

If not exaggerated, that is mind-numbingly fucked up. I understand it to be about the same way in the UK, but I didn't realize Canada had drank the kool-aid on this one.

Re:Oh common.. (0, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34178966)

Obama would like the entire US to be like this as well. He doesn't like that some states even give you the right to use deadly force on carjackers if one tries to force you from your vehicle while you are in it.

Re:Oh common.. (0, Flamebait)

gfreeman (456642) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178994)

Yet it's perfectly OK to kill someone for trespass? Sounds like the kool-aid is all yours.

Re:Oh common.. (2, Informative)

kwbauer (1677400) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179080)

How do you know they are not there to do bodily harm? Most non-violent criminals won't bother entering an occupied home so you should assume that someone breaking in to an occupied home will do harm to the inhabitants.

Of course, we can always just wait for the police to "protect and serve" us.

Re:Oh common.. (1)

Brad Mace (624801) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179362)

Good thing you gave the issue serious thought instead of just replying with a pithy, holier-than-thou one-liner.

Re:Oh common.. (3, Insightful)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179378)

If they're breaking into an occupied private residence, it's pretty reasonable to assume they're a helluva lot more than a mere "trespasser." Trespassing is what I do when I go explore abandoned industrial buildings. It's not breaking into some family's home at 2 a.m. Best case scenario, that is a "thief." Much worst case scenarios include "kidnapper," "rapist," and "murderer." And I'm not particularly inclined to give the guy who's breaking into my house the benefit of the doubt.

Trespassing... (2, Insightful)

sean.peters (568334) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179544)

... not the same thing as breaking and entering. Breaking and entering is a more serious crime, and a reasonable person would probably rightly fear for their life if someone broke into their house while they were in it. And in that situation, is it realistic to be able to wait for the police to show up? I don't think so.

Re:Oh common.. (1)

operagost (62405) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179770)

Gee, Mr. Freeman, I thought you'd be all for using Anrego's crow-bar defense strategy.

Re:Oh common.. (2, Insightful)

RightSaidFred99 (874576) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178956)

Well, aren't you being a bit of a drama queen if you get that scared when someone breaks into your house. I mean, odds are they're just there to steal a few things and will leave you unharmed [dailymail.co.uk] , right?

Just kidding. If someone breaks into my house and I have the chance, I'll shoot them multiple times center of mass. I'm risking allowing something like that to happen to my family if I don't, and I can't take that risk. By the act of breaking into my house, he's assuming the risk - I won't. Sure, I'll feel like shit if it was some drunk teenager out out trying to steel some money, but I can't take the risk.

Thank God you can generally shoot someone if they break into your house and not have to deal with criminal proceedings, though it's still undesirable because the "ma baby din't do nothin'" family will sue your ass.

Re:Oh common.. (5, Informative)

ThePlague (30616) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179002)

Better to be tried by twelve than carried by six.

Re:Oh common.. (2, Funny)

Jeremiah Cornelius (137) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179130)

Why doesn't one of these Super Heroes use their REAL power, and trap their opponent under the "Cone of Dorkdom"?

Re:Oh common.. (5, Funny)

The Wild Norseman (1404891) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179352)

Why doesn't one of these Super Heroes use their REAL power, and trap their opponent under the "Cone of Dorkdom"?

It's not a cone.

It's a dodecahedron.

Re:Oh common.. (1, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179558)

It's not a cone.

It's a dodecahedron.

Better to roll a twelve than be carried by six?

Re:Oh common.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179626)

Luckily I had just swallowed the last bit of tea or my keyboard would surely have been in danger!

Re:Oh common.. (2, Interesting)

Nadaka (224565) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178998)

Most US states follow the castle doctrine to some extent. If someone breaks into your home and you feel threatened, you can use deadly force in defense. Some states extend the area to private property and vehicles. I know Texas, Florida and Mississippi have this kind of law, not sure about anywhere else.

Re:Oh common.. (0, Troll)

FuckingNickName (1362625) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179074)

Yeah, outside America people aren't so scared of others and understand proportionate response, which is why there's a notion of excessive force.

Americans, being neophytes at the whole civilisation thing, assume everyone is as much of an ape as they are. So they choose to shoot first and ask questions later. This applies from individual all the way to national self defence.

If you're so afraid of civilisation and see every threat in terms of OH GOD SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO RAPE ME AND KILL MY FAMILY then perhaps you ought to move to Texas rather than dragging Canada down with you.

Re:Oh common.. (2, Informative)

vlm (69642) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179228)

If you're so afraid of civilisation and see every threat in terms of OH GOD SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO RAPE ME AND KILL MY FAMILY then perhaps you ought to move to Texas rather than dragging Canada down with you.

Actually more a fear of lack of civilization that fear of civilization. The odds of raped and killed in a state bordering Mexico is probably, what, a hundred, maybe a thousand times higher than in a more civilized area like Canada or some place in Europe.

Also our mass media "news" is primarily focused on keeping us scared to keep us under control. Works great w/ respect to starting wars and stuff, but there are side effects like this.

Re:Oh common.. (0, Flamebait)

publiclurker (952615) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179460)

Judging by your xenophobic rant, I'd say they are pretty effective on the fear side of things for some people at least.

Re:Oh common.. (2, Interesting)

God'sDuck (837829) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179590)

Actually more a fear of lack of civilization that fear of civilization. The odds of raped and killed in a state bordering Mexico is probably, what, a hundred, maybe a thousand times higher than in a more civilized area like Canada or some place in Europe.

No. Just...no.
 
Yes, there's a drug war between gangs in Mexico that is slaughtering a lot of bystanders. That in no way means people from Mexico are any more violent than anywhere else.
 
El Paso crime rate (across the border from Juarez): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_in_Canada#Crime_statistics_by_province_and_territory [wikipedia.org]
Canadian province crime rate: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crime_in_Canada#Crime_statistics_by_province_and_territory [wikipedia.org]

El Paso would fall right in the middle of Canada's provinces for most offences.

Re:Oh common.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179348)

Which is probably why "America" gets away with the things it does. The other thugs are too scared of what America MIGHT do and the "civilized" countries are too eager to bend over in appreciation of "proportionate response".

Re:Oh common.. (1)

ShavedOrangutan (1930630) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179414)

If you're so afraid of civilisation and see every threat in terms of OH GOD SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO RAPE ME AND KILL MY FAMILY then perhaps you ought to move to Texas rather than dragging Canada down with you.

If someone kicks in your front door or crashes through a window, they're not coming in for tea and crumpets. They probably are going to rape you and kill your family. Are there kinder gentler criminals in other countries?

In the U.S., you can justifiably kill someone if they've broken into your house and you could convince a jury that you were in fear of your life. I fail to see why this is a bad thing. And no, you can't shoot trespassers. Nowhere in the U.S. is this legal, despite what you may have seen on TV.

Re:Oh common.. (1)

FuckingNickName (1362625) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179534)

If someone kicks in your front door or crashes through a window, they're not coming in for tea and crumpets. They probably are going to rape you and kill your family. Are there kinder gentler criminals in other countries?

Yes. For example, I know America is a country full of financially responsible people but evil socialist Europe has quite a few people who buy what they cannot afford and sometimes the debt collector knocks a little too hard on the door.

In the U.S., you can justifiably kill someone if they've broken into your house and you could convince a jury that you were in fear of your life.

Oh, self defence applies pretty much everywhere... it is just that the jury in a civilised country understands the difference between, say, pushing down a piece of wood and attempting to kill someone. So, there is quite a chasm between breaking into someone's house and a reasonable person in the house being in fear of his life.

I don't see why you would be any more in fear of your life than, say, if someone started running at you with wild eyes in the street... but, as we all know, the law is about Americans feeling insecure and having to have some notion of a sacrosanct parcel of land. This insecurity can be reinforced so that the pathetic and dwindling middle class relate in a pathological and masochistic way to the ruling elite when they try to justify their expeditions.

Re:Oh common.. (1)

Brad Mace (624801) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179672)

Brilliant. "Let's not trouble ourselves about the guy breaking into our house at 2am. He's probably here to retrieve our overdue library books."

Re:Oh common.. (1)

FuckingNickName (1362625) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179710)

"Let's not kill a man for breaking down a door."

Re:Oh common.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179476)

If you're so afraid of civilisation and see every threat in terms of OH GOD SOMEONE'S ABOUT TO RAPE ME AND KILL MY FAMILY

Nobody does this, and you know it. Straw man arguments are lies.

Re:Oh common.. (5, Informative)

Tarsir (1175373) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179168)

According to some very quick research [self-defender.net] , you're allowed to respond with as much force as is required to defend yourself (presumably enough to halt the assault), including lethal force if you have reasonable grounds to believe you're at risk of death or 'grevious bodily harm'. You might call that a murky area, but it seems quite reasonable to me.

Re:Oh common.. (1, Flamebait)

spun (1352) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179522)

And this comment will never be modded up. People will continue to debate the merits of a completely imaginary version of Canadian law, based on right wing pro gun myths. Right wingers love Canada. They can just make up anything they like about evil socialist Canada and no one will contradict them. Apparently, many American right wingers are actually from Canada, and can describe life in Canada in authoritative terms. They will tell you all about their grandfather dying in line waiting medical for treatment and how they aren't allowed to defend themselves, because honest to god, they are really real Canadians and know all about life in Canada, which they hate because of all the socialists and peaceniks making crazy laws.

Re:Oh common.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179328)

As a burglar, I doubt they would have written down where they were going to be. So, bludgeon him to death. The only problem is disposal of the body, and with a bit of thinking who would possibly be able to connect it to a random house in his neighborhood?

Re:Oh common.. (1)

pcolaman (1208838) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179440)

Thank fucking god I live in Florida. Here, someone breaks into your house, "duty to retreat" laws go out the window. In other words, someone breaks into my home, I am not law bound to retreat from my home, and can defend it using lethal kill you dead force. God bless the fucking USA (at least some states, that is).

What part of Canada are you from? Texas? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179632)

Giving you the benefit of the doubt, you are making wildly ignorant speculations. Or more likely, you are not from Canada, and are using an imaginary version of Canada to try to make a point regarding self defense. Given that you go on to complain about frequent home invasion in Canada, and go off on an unrelated rant about rehabilitation, I would bet you are actually a conservative American. People in Canada leave their doors unlocked because there is so much less burglary in there. In either case, you are wrong regarding self defense laws in Canada, so please stop spreading misinformation.

Not in Texas (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179766)

See also: Castle Doctrine.

Too bad the laws were you live were written to protect the state rather than its citizens.

No castles up north... (1)

denzacar (181829) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179020)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_doctrine#In_other_countries [wikipedia.org]

Currently, no Canadian Province has implemented either Castle Doctrine or Stand Your Ground.[35] Under the criminal code of Canada, a very limited version of Castle Doctrine exists that requires the victim to retreat if retreating is possible.

Also, it varies from state to state even in United States.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_Doctrine_in_the_United_States#State-by-state_positions [wikipedia.org]

What was the state motto of New Hampshire again? Taking it a bit too literally? [wikipedia.org]

Re:No castles up north... (2, Informative)

mark-t (151149) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179458)

You are still permitted to defend yourself from physical assault in Canada. But Canadian law requires that a person retreat from a person who has unlawfully entered your home, to the extent that such retreat can be accomplished safely. Possessions, even ones own home, however valuable such things might be, are ultimately replaceable. People are not. There is no statistical evidence to support the idea that attempting to stop a burglar oneself will reduce the chance that somebody gets hurt - in fact, there is is an abundance of evidence to support exactly the opposite notion.

Re:Oh common.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179088)

I don't see what you are claiming in the article. Could you post a link to the claim: "You can get into trouble in Canada for trying to Defend yourself"

I'm seriously interested.

Re:Oh common.. (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179244)

walking around with any of this stuff and actually helping people

I think the phrase they were looking for was "walking around and actually getting laughed at." Real life superheroes don't exist because real life is nothing like comic books, where walking down random streets leads to daily encounters with purse snatchers and in-progress bank robberies. In the real world, finding this kind of crime is hard (that's why even the much larger police force spend very little time catching actual crimes *in progress*). Of course, you could always spend your days harassing drug dealers and prostitutes in the shitty hoods, but that's hardly the stuff of comic book legend.

Re:Oh common.. (1)

iamacat (583406) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179260)

Certainly the greatest value of any weapon is as a deterrent. How many graffiti punks will keep going when shown a business end of a mean looking cannon? It may or may not do much damage or be practical in a fight, but who would want to be the first to find out?

Re:Oh common.. (1)

dave562 (969951) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179760)

The more likely scenario is that the "graffitti punk" will also be armed. Most graffitti is gang related.

Re:Oh common.. (1)

Stregano (1285764) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179566)

It is very common down here. I have been saved thrice from Super Jupiter Man and twice from Mystery Meat. There are super villains and stuff everywhere down here. You would be surprised, it is like a giant comic book down here

Re:Oh common.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179702)

The real difficulty with trying to be a superhero in Canada is finding the crime. Things just aren't as bad as we'd like to believe. I live in one of the roughest areas of the murder capital of Canada (Winnipeg's North End), and I've never seen so much as a mugging. I've talked to police officers who've been working in the area for 20 years, and have never had the need to draw their gun. The most you could do as an amateur superhero would be to annoy some hookers into moving to a different street. Crime's so low that there's really nothing an individual superhero could do to make things safer (unless he could see the future, or had super-hearing, or had a spidey-sense). The police handle responding after-the-fact just fine, and prevention is best left to neighbourhoods getting to know each other and being aware of suspicious activity, and reporting drug houses.

Re:Oh common.. (1)

adonoman (624929) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179792)

It's very sad for superheros in Canada. We just can't compete with the kind of crime they get down in the US.

speaking of "Waiting for Superman" ... (1)

FooAtWFU (699187) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178732)

Where are the gadgets to help bring about effective education reform? :b

(mmm, this thread will make a mess :S)

Re:speaking of "Waiting for Superman" ... (1)

Walzmyn (913748) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178828)

Where's the gadgets to make a sensible and readable article?

Every once and a while I get the idea that I should actually read some of the articles I'm commenting on. Then I do and it's this kinda chopped up mess with pictures that don't match the copy and reporting that just *almost* tells you something about the subject and I remember why the hell I never read this crap.

And I'm a real-life Supervillian (1)

Monkeedude1212 (1560403) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178734)

I troll around the Starbucks with my laptop running the Firesheep add-on to jack people's facebook sessions and post lewd links to their status!

Muwhahahahahahaaaa!!!!

Re:And I'm a real-life Supervillian (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179098)

Your evil cannot compare to mine! I share movies and music via P2P!

Invisible Man's identity revealed (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34178752)

Well, the invisible man's identity is now known: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_Assange

    What a great HERO and role model!

"one man's terrorist is another man's freedom fighter"

Re:Invisible Man's identity revealed (1)

jameskojiro (705701) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178866)

Well, L's identity is now known: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alessandro_Juliani [wikipedia.org]

        What a great Hero and Role Model!!

"one man's tourist is another man's freebasing freaker"

Trying to find the words... (2, Insightful)

Shoten (260439) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178756)

When I went to click on the link, in my mind was a curious tension of expectations. Would it be like Jay and Silent Bob in "Mallrats"? Like the various teenagers in "Kickass"? Like the moderately-capable guys in hockey pads in "The Dark Knight"? Or something entirely different altogether, some wonderful and amazing surprise of how people can leverage technology and creativity as force multipliers to do good?

However, after reading this and looking at the gear, all that comes to mind is..."What a bunch of douchebags. Ugh."

Re:Trying to find the words... (1)

AnonymousClown (1788472) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179058)

However, after reading this and looking at the gear, all that comes to mind is..."What a bunch of douchebags. Ugh."

FTFA:

“Iron Rad is a bid to function in reality as a full time superhero, actually rescuing people, disrupting violent crimes, ...

Some dork is gonna get a .357 up his ass one day or scare the shit out of a lawful person and get a clip of 9mm in his chest.

Re:Trying to find the words... (1)

blair1q (305137) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179154)

I was thinking "Guardian Angels".

So, basically, same thing.

Re:Trying to find the words... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179550)

The "Guardian Angels" tried to recruit me back in my university days, since I rode the "T" to and from classes. There was something about them that just did not sit right with me... something seemed a little "off" about them.

Re:Trying to find the words... (1)

Tarsir (1175373) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179224)

After I read the article, I figured many of these guys, when not patrolling the streets in their costumes, post to Slashdot extolling the virtues of Libertarianism and the evils of the Nanny State.

Re:Trying to find the words... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179688)

They only post on slashdot when it allows them to avoid the part of crime fighting that actually catches murderers and rapists. Who wants to lock up more murderers and rapists, anyway?

Re:Trying to find the words... (3, Funny)

SparkleMotion88 (1013083) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179394)

Agreed. I think the douchebaggery peaked at this point:

"Right now, the suit is still largely on the drawing board...We are just finishing up the ideation phase and beginning design and prototyping.”

Still, this part gives me an entertaining mental image of some superhero trying to get tech from his supplier, only to be met with a Dilbertesque sequence of overhyped marketing, corporate buzzwords, and eventual disappointment.

Speaking for myself (4, Funny)

orphiuchus (1146483) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178792)

I usually just bring guns and beer.

As a long time mecha head (1)

Tekfactory (937086) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178824)

I wish them luck on the power armor.

This is like "kick-ass" (2, Funny)

roc97007 (608802) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178838)

Only less believable.

Re:This is like "kick-ass" (1)

spun (1352) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178948)

It's believable. I mean, I believe that stuff like this exists, and idiots buy it. I'd say, it is like "kick-ass" only with much less kick and much more ass.

Another name might be Vigilantes? (1)

cindyann (1916572) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178842)

If I go out looking for trouble, does that make it premeditated when I assault some ne'er do well?

Good intentions aside, and all that.

Re:Another name might be Vigilantes? (3, Informative)

MozeeToby (1163751) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179152)

None of those in the article go out looking for trouble, they go out looking for people in trouble. Generally none of them have ever used their offensive equipment, they rely on contacting the talking problems through, being a witness to any criminal events, scaring the bad guys away by (literally) shining light on their crimes, and, if necessary, contacting the police.

Lol @US superhero's (0, Troll)

santax (1541065) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178886)

Seriously, the guys from TFA should not be allowed on the streets. They need patience and a kindly hug. And a huge bag'o'medicine to go along with the mandatory refrains.

Re:Lol @US superhero's (3, Funny)

charlesj68 (1170655) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179024)

to go along with the mandatory refrains.

What? Every super hero is required to have a theme song now? Let me guess, this was hidden in the Health Care bill, right?

Re:Lol @US superhero's (1)

santax (1541065) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179066)

Did I wrote refrains? I'm gonna hide under that nice little rock I have here.

New Tag Needed! (1)

robnator (250608) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178912)

#liftedfromgizmodo

Re:New Tag Needed! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179370)

I'll start tagging that too. Seems like a lot of them lately. They also seem to just cut and paste a random part of the article for the summary. Maybe it has something to with the article, maybe not.

Mark Millar was right (1)

niBee (1936934) | more than 3 years ago | (#34178920)

Mark Millar perspective in writting Kick-Ass tells it like it is... that enough is enough... when the authorities can't be everywhere every time, sometimes you need good Samaritans to help you deliver a good ass kicking to the ass wipes of society

Superhero needed (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34178934)

We need a superhero to deal with this kind of ......of.........horror..

http://www.myspace.com/therealmasterlegend

HTMLMan where are you????

Coon and Friends? (4, Funny)

bunyip (17018) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179000)

Am I the only one thinking of the latest South Park episodes?

Re:Coon and Friends? (1)

AnonymousClown (1788472) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179214)

Am I the only one thinking of the latest South Park episodes?

I was thinking of being "Captain Chaos" or "Anal Anarchist" and fucking with those guys with some of my own "Evil Criminal" gadgets. For example, capture the "Super Hero" tie him to a bench and have a very slowly advancing machine with a butt plug on the end of it approach his asshole and when they ask, "Do you expect me to talk?"

I'll respond, "No Mr. Superhero, I expect you to get buttfucked."

My list is: (1)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179004)

A Heckler & Koch UMP, a Benelli M4 and knuckle dusters, on the side.

The stuff in TFA is a bunch of toys, FTFA:

Laser Wand: a toy Harry Potter wand, retrofitted with a 95mW green laser module – useful for pointing things out to the police, or letting troublemakers know they’re being watched

Knock the troublemaker down with a round from the Benelli, and follow it up with a spray from the H&K . . . the troublemaker will now know that he is being watched. Approach the troublemaker with caution, and apply the knuckle dusters liberally . . .

Re:My list is: (1)

DrgnDancer (137700) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179638)

And then go to jail. I think that's the bit they are trying to avoid. You see the first time you kill someone you go to jail. The one and only exception being if you can prove that person was an active threat to your life or the life of someone else. Use of deadly force in crime prevention is limited to cases where the crime is placing someone in active danger or (in some states) break-ins to your own home (not someone elses).

sad (2, Insightful)

callmebill (1917294) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179064)

To me, these all look like indications of sad, empty, delusional lives.

Re:sad (1)

Un pobre guey (593801) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179642)

To put it mildly

article sucks (1)

Nadaka (224565) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179086)

It sounds like the guys in the article are just barely a step past LARPers in crazy.

There really are masked vigilantes out there, one in Virginia I read about a few months ago and a group in southern Florida.

Re:article sucks (1)

jameskojiro (705701) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179298)

Are there any "Masked Villains" out there to fight against these crazy masked Vigilantes?

Can I become my own version of "Dr. Horrible" and video blog about trying to take over the world and whatnot?

I am assuming since Masked Vigilantes SEEM to be legal then by logic I would assume that becoming a masked Villain whose goal is to take over/destroy the world in an overly complicated scheme would be legal as well.

Real-Life Gadgets... (1)

RapmasterT (787426) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179136)

...seem to consist largely of flashlights attached to stuff.

*Really*? What do they expect to defend against? (1, Troll)

jazzkat (901547) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179150)

As I read this article, I was like... *really*?

What do these, uh, "heroes" hope to do or defend against? Do they *really* think that slingshot is useful for *anything* in an urban setting?

What's going to happen when one of them encounters someone who is really serious, and the "hero" finds himself on the wrong end of a .45? You'll need some serious shielding and defensive moves for that. A taser or even a light weapon won't work here. And then if you use your 95mw laser to blind the perpetrator he will come back and sue you for all you're worth.

Or what happens when there's an undercover cop making an arrest and one of these yahoos mistakes what he's seeing and tries to "intervene"?

Seriously people... the best thing to do nowadays is to get a concealed carry permit, carry a weapon you've practice on, and avoid trouble at all costs. Stuff like this is just ridiculous.

Re:*Really*? What do they expect to defend against (1)

publiclurker (952615) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179420)

Right, everyone knows that your manhood enhancement also acts as a bad-guy repellent.

Re:*Really*? What do they expect to defend against (1)

jazzkat (901547) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179596)

Sorry to spoil your generalization, publiclurker, but men in my family have penises. We don't need enhancements.

Think of it this way. While I never wish this on anyone, let's talk again after you've been mugged at gunpoint. Then you'll see clearly where a firearm is not a penis poofer but a device that allows you to choose your life over that of your mugger's.

Do you think this guy was thinking about the size of his penis when he defended himself against a mugger who shot at him?
http://www.examiner.com/self-defense-in-national/armed-citizen-shoots-a-violent-mugger-self-defense

How about this guy? Do you think he needed a bigger penis or a way to defend himself against a hoodlum?
http://www.rep-am.com/articles/2010/04/28/news/local/479034.txt

Or this one?
http://www.kc3.com/self_defense/Megerle.htm

Please don't project your own phallic challenges when you're trying to make a snide remark and inaccurate generalization.

Re:*Really*? What do they expect to defend against (4, Insightful)

DrgnDancer (137700) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179826)

I often see this postulated, but as someone who has served in the military, in a combat zone, and has a couple of black belts, I've never seen concealed firearms as being particularly effective defense against muggings. Typically speaking, if you're being mugged, the bad guy has his gun out, trained on you. He's also nervous as fuck (since muggers tend to be the lowest level of street criminal). In the time it takes to draw, aim, and fire a pistol you'll be dead. As someone who has taught self defense, and spent more than his fair share time in self defense classes, the most common advice given to people regarding muggings is "give them your money". Something on the order of 95% or 98% of muggers (it's been a while since I taught this stuff) just want the money and they leave. The chances that you've encountered one of the other 5% are much smaller than the chances that you'll survive an attempt to defend yourself against an armed opponent.

Now for home defense there's a completely different case. Typically in that situation you have time to get your gun out and put yourself on at least equal footing with the intruder. There's *some* argument for the use of firearms in home defense situations, but in personal defense situations typically by the time you realize you need the gun it's too late.

Re:*Really*? What do they expect to defend against (1)

jazzkat (901547) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179758)

Or how about this one, PublicLurker? Do you really think a 70 year old grandma needs a penis enlargement?
http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/local_news/stories/2009/10/23/Horse_shoot.ART_ART_10-23-09_A1_SGFF2MR.html

Re:*Really*? What do they expect to defend against (1)

Ruke (857276) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179706)

A taser will still knock someone out, even if they're carrying an assault rifle. The ridiculous arms war on our streets only really applies if you expect the other guy to be wearing some sort of modern ballistics armor. I've never seen a petty thug wearing several thousand dollars worth of body armor when they're out tagging a building; maybe things are just different around here.

Similarly, the laser isn't to "blind" someone; it's merely to let them know that you're there, that you're watching, and have already called the police. That can be enough to scare someone away. These guys know that they're not Batman. They're trying to stop the levels of crime that can be prevented by the conspicuous present of concerned citizens, not bank-robbery/hostage situations.

These guys are a little weird, but by making their presence known in the areas they "patrol", they're doing worlds more than the "keep my head down, shoot anyone who gives me trouble" crowd.

Not super? (1)

tibman (623933) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179156)

Wouldn't these be Masked Heros instead of Super Heros?

Also, none of the Heros looked beefy or badass. More like neighborhood watch weirdos. I suggest a better workout, more calorie intake, and developing better less-than-lethal crowd control type weapons. Chances are non-lethal will just make them mad.. and changes are also good that you won't be dealing with just one.

all imo, of course.

Feel safe now? (1)

Nidi62 (1525137) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179186)

I don't know about you, but my Georgia Firearms License and S&W Model 66 make me feel a lot safer than these guys do. "Right tools"? There are places in Atlanta where these fools would get laughed at, right before 5 gang members pull out guns and shoot them. My college has windows with bullet holes in them, and armed robberies inside school buildings at 1 in the afternoon. Some geek in a mask running around with a flashlight and a stun stick isn't going to make me feel any safer. No. Let those of us legally permitted to carry a form of protection to exercise our constitutional rights, and there would be a lot less crime.

Re:Feel safe now? (-1, Flamebait)

jameskojiro (705701) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179266)

More guns in the hands of law abiding people will just turn the law abiding citizens into criminals because owning a gun makes you instinctively want to use it on another human being for no reason whatsoever.

Re:Feel safe now? (3, Insightful)

Nidi62 (1525137) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179400)

More guns in the hands of law abiding people will just turn the law abiding citizens into criminals because owning a gun makes you instinctively want to use it on another human being for no reason whatsoever.

Yes, that's why me, my father, my grandfather, 2 of my great uncles, my uncle, my college roommate, many of my friends, and countless other classmates have all shot at people. No, most of those who legally own guns treat them as what they are: objects that easily kill if mishandled or abused. RESPONSIBLE gun ownership is perfectly safe. However, people like you like to lump all of us with the McVeighs or Harris and Klebolds. I am not going to even pull on someone unless they break into my house or threaten me with a weapon of their own. And if you do threaten me, or my family, you better have the balls and know-how to use your weapon. Because I assure you I do with mine.

Re:Feel safe now? (1, Informative)

sachamm (924766) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179498)

You must be right, because anecdotal evidence is so valuable. Oh wait, a 2 second google search turned up this: http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn17922-carrying-a-gun-increases-risk-of-getting-shot-and-killed.html [newscientist.com]

Quoting:

Overall, Branas's study found that people who carried guns were 4.5 times as likely to be shot and 4.2 times as likely to get killed compared with unarmed citizens. When the team looked at shootings in which victims had a chance to defend themselves, their odds of getting shot were even higher.

Good luck with that gun.

Re:Feel safe now? (1)

operagost (62405) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179668)

Hmm... I don't see anything in the article about whether police, security, or military personnel (active or retired) were included. You see, those kind of folks are more likely to jump into dangerous situations to defend others, due to their training. In any case, if leftists like you are trying to disarm the populace by intimidating selfish cowards, you're wasting your time.

Re:Feel safe now? (1)

Saysys (976276) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179776)

...and yet the demographic of the persons caring guns is not taken int account. No one wants to say it, but the truth is that 'urban' youth tend to carry because they get shot at and shoot because others carry. Making guns illegal would not fix the problem, these people already have guns illegally.

It isn't that having a gun makes you more prone to use it, it is that the need to use a gun makes you more prone to have it.

Re:Feel safe now? (1)

The Wild Norseman (1404891) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179554)

More guns in the hands of law abiding people will just turn the law abiding citizens into criminals because owning a gun makes you instinctively want to use it on another human being for no reason whatsoever.

Ah, I see you two haven't met. Allow me to introduce you. Jameskojiro -- logic. Logic, meet jameskojiro.

Shock Hammer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179316)

One RLSH in my neighborhood has a whole arsenal including (my personal favorite) his "shock hammer" which consists of a 9V battery strapped to the end of a framing hammer. He claims it will stun evildoers. I bet it will too. Did I mention he has some mental conditions and substance abuse problems?

Not a good idea (1)

Un pobre guey (593801) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179322)

I would find it extremely disturbing for some bozo to take it upon himself to be a "real life superhero" in my town. I do not want the rule of law to be suspended arbitrarily by some nut, well-meaning or not. We do not live in a movie or a graphic novel. We live in a lawful society, or at least strive for it to be so.

Which heroes? (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179332)

Why do people insist on referring to firefighters, paramedics or policemen as heroes? They signed up for a job and get paid to do it. Simple as that, no heroism there. They don't rescue or help people out of the goodness of their hearts. They do it because that's their job.

Now, there are countries where all firefighters are volunteers and work as firemen on their spare time without receiving any compensation. Those guys I would be more willing to call heroes.

Re:Which heroes? (1)

Un pobre guey (593801) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179598)

No Comrade! When our Great Leaders and Comrade Journalists refer to a certain class of people as Heroes, Patriots, Allies, Investors, or Job Creators, we must do the same. They are enlightening us with their profound knowledge and great wisdom. You must never question them!

This is like 99% of all Idle stories... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34179408)

...completely pointless. Some site interviewed a bunch of retards and asked them what "super-hero" gadgets they use. They then took a bunch of pictures of these gadgets. E.g.
  • A cane with an L.E.D. attached to it with a tube-clamp and a magnet on the bottom (shown dramatically lifting up a swiss-army knife)
  • A ring with a super-bright white L.E.D. in it
  • A wrist mounted strobe light, which also incorporates an L.E.D. torch....(Are you seeing a pattern yet?)
  • A Harry Potter wand modified with a Green Laser

Reminds me of a movie (1)

SnarfQuest (469614) | more than 3 years ago | (#34179690)

This reminds me of a scene in some movie... Oh yea, Toy Story where the spaceman guy zaps the c'boy with his leds, with less than explosive results.

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