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NASA Solar Sail Lost In Space

samzenpus posted more than 3 years ago | from the never-to-sail-again dept.

Space 111

An anonymous reader writes "According to Spaceflight Now: 'NASA has not heard from the experimental NanoSail-D miniature solar sail in nearly a week, prompting officials to wonder if the craft actually deployed from a larger mother satellite despite initial indications it ejected as designed.' NanoSail-D's spring-ejection was indicated at 1:31 a.m. EST Monday, leading to a predicted release of the spacecraft's sail membrane around 1:30 a.m. EST Thursday."

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Long gone (4, Funny)

MichaelSmith (789609) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530518)

Maybe it worked too well -D

aliens thought it was an invasion (1)

chronoss2010 (1825454) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530538)

this big thing spreading wings to come after them , so they took it....

Re:Long gone (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530620)

It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality', which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to paedophilia.

What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:

  • Linus Torvalds [microsoft.com] is an anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the first initial.
  • Richard M. Stallman [archive.org] , spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement' is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
  • Alan Cox [microsoft.com] is barely an anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it unnerves me.

I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual [goatse.fr] propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.

Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail [microsoft.com] , which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'

As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted [salon.com] on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.

And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo [comp-u-geek.net] slut [rotten.com] !

Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual [goatse.fr] perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children [slashdot.org] . To quote from the article linked:

'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'

Is this why you were touching your penis [rotten.com] in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?

We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual [goatse.fr] terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexual [goatse.fr] lover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.

Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.

In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware [redhat.com] distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual [goatse.fr] practise of anal fisting. The Mandrake [slackware.com] product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.

Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals [goatse.fr] preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, [mandrake.com] an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis [rotten.com] , glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual [goatse.fr] 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual [goatse.fr] practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.

And Red Hat [debian.org] is secret homo [comp-u-geek.net] slang for the tip of a penis [rotten.com] that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.

The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other [comp-u-geek.net] automatically.

The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously/anus, but there are others. Militant fags even say 'there is no/opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts faggotry is not optional but a way of life.

More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.

Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherent gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows [amiga.com] users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!

Even the title 'Slashdot [geekizoid.com] ' originally referred to a homosexual [goatse.fr] practice. Slashdot [kuro5hin.org] of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals [goatse.fr] who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/ [eff.org] .

The editors of Slashdot [slashduh.org] also have homosexual [goatse.fr] names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement [pboy.com] . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis [rotten.com] discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot [notslashdot.org] runs on Apache!

The Apache [microsoft.com] server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual [goatse.fr] activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.

And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.

To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS [apple.com] is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'

FEEDBACK

What worries me is how much you know about what gay people do. I'm scared I actually read this whole thing. I think this post is a good example of the negative effects of Internet usage on people. This person obviously has no social life anymore and had to result to writing something as stupid as this. And actually take the time to do it too. Although... I think it was satire.. blah.. it's early. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo [comp-u-geek.net] -calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.

You must work for the government. Trying to post the most obscene stuff in hopes that slashdot won't be able to continue or something, due to legal woes. If i ever see your ugly face, i'm going to stick my fireplace poker up your ass, after it's nice and hot, to weld shut that nasty gaping hole of yours. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual [goatse.fr] child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!

you really should post this logged in. i wish i could remember jebus's password, cuz i'd give it to you. -- mighty jebus [slashdot.org] , Slashdot

Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina [bodysnatchers.co.uk] to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator [hitler.org] .

ROLF LAMO i hate linux FAGGOTS -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson [rotten.com] causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism [zillabunny.com] .

Actually, that's not at all how scrotal inflation works. I understand it involves injecting sterile saline solution into the scrotum. I've never tried this, but you can read how to do it safely in case you're interested. (Before you moderate this down, ask yourself honestly -- who are the real crazies -- people who do scrotal inflation, or people who pay $1000+ for a game console?) -- double_h [slashdot.org] , Slashdot

Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 [xbox.com] sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!

dude did u used to post on msnbc's nt bulletin board now that u are doing anti-gay posts u also need to start in with anti-black stuff too c u in church -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT [linux.com] is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church [atheism.org] . Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.

Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man [stileproject.com] . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.

And don't forget that slashdot was written in Perl, which is just too close to 'Pearl Necklace' for comfort.... oh wait; that's something all you heterosexuals do.... I can't help but wonder how much faster the trolls could do First-Posts on this site if it were redone in PHP... I could hand-type dynamic HTML pages faster than Perl can do them. -- phee [slashdot.org] , Slashdot

Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl [python.org] (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'

One scary thing about Perl [sun.com] is that it contains hidden homosexual [goatse.fr] messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual [goatse.fr] queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'

And PHP [perl.org] stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?

Thank you for your valuable input on this. I am sure you will be never forgotten. BTW: Did I mention that this could be useful in terraforming Mars? Mars rulaa. -- Eimernase [slashdot.org] , Slashdot

Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual [goatse.fr] Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.

That's inspiring. Keep up the good work, AC. May God in his wisdom grant you the strength to bring the plain honest truth to this community, and make it pure again. Yours, Cerberus. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord [atheism.org] 's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.

However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)

In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.

Inspiring stuff! If only all trolls were this quality! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation [slashdot.org] . Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???

If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!

It's pathetic you've spent so much time writing this. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity [catholic.net] that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.

As with any great open-source project, you need someone asking this question, so I'll do it. When the hell is version 2.0 going to be ready?!?! -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.

I desperately want to suck your monolithic kernel, you sexy hunk, you. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman [archive.org] .

Dude, nothing on slashdot larger than 3 paragraphs is worth reading. Try to distill the message, whatever it was, and maybe I'll read it. As it is, I have to much open source software to write to waste even 10 seconds of precious time. 10 seconds is all its gonna take M$ to whoop Linux's ass. Vigilence is the price of Free (as in libre -- from the fine, frou frou French language) Software. Hack on fellow geeks, and remember: Friday is Bouillabaisse day except for heathens who do not believe that Jesus died for their sins. Those godless, oil drench, bearded sexist clowns can pull grits from their pantaloons (another fine, fine French word) and eat that. Anyway, try to keep your message focused and concise. For concision is the soul of derision. Way. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

What the fuck?

I've read your gay conspiracy post version 1.3.0 and I must say I'm impressed. In particular, I appreciate how you have managed to squeeze in a healthy dose of the latent homosexuality you gay-bashing homos [comp-u-geek.net] tend to be full of. Thank you again. -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Well bugger me!

ooooh honey. how insecure are you!!! wann a little massage from deare bruci. love you -- Anonymous Coward, Slashdot

Fuck right off!

IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD [linux.org] , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain [icopyright.com] . You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL [apple.com] (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted [rotten.com] cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat [adultmember.com] , but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.

Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual [goatse.fr] practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.

Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.

Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO [slashdot.org] by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?

Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.

ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!

Re:Long gone (0, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530644)

Can someone please explain to me why there are posts like this?
Is this how advanced botnets communticate or is it some odd joke only a small subset of the slashdot community understands? (Or perhaps a joke that everyone besides me understand?)
I it some sort of trolling? Since it's a wall of text I assume that people generally doesn't read it and don't get offended.

Please, I would really like to know.

Re:Long gone (0)

mcvos (645701) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530790)

As far as I can tell, it's just some really stupid brand of trolling by people who have way too much time on their hands. Or maybe they really think somebody out there will read beyond the first sentence and they get some kind of pleasure out of that idea.

Re:Long gone (4, Insightful)

rally2xs (1093023) | more than 3 years ago | (#34532662)

As long as you have a mod category like "funny", people will compete for it.

Re:Long gone (1)

mcgrew (92797) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533676)

"Funny" gains no karma, and what you intend to be funny can wind up getting modded troll, flamebait, or overrated.

Karma whores only get modded "funny" by accident.

Your official guide to the Jigaboo presidency (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530796)

Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.

INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.

CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat

HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.

FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.

MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most prominent anatomical feature, after all, its oversized buttocks, which have evolved to make it more comfortable for your nigger to sit around all day doing nothing for its entire life. Niggers are often good runners, too, to enable them to sprint quickly in the opposite direction if they see work heading their way. The solution to this is to *dupe* your nigger into working. After installation, encourage it towards the cotton field with blows of a wooden club, fence post, baseball bat, etc., and then tell it that all that cotton belongs to a white man, who won't be back until tomorrow. Your nigger will then frantically compete with the other field niggers to steal as much of that cotton as it can before the white man returns. At the end of the day, return your nigger to its cage and laugh at its stupidity, then repeat the same trick every day indefinitely. Your nigger comes equipped with the standard nigger IQ of 75 and a memory to match, so it will forget this trick overnight. Niggers can start work at around 5am. You should then return to bed and come back at around 10am. Your niggers can then work through until around 10pm or whenever the light fades.

ENTERTAINING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger enjoys play, like most animals, so you should play with it regularly. A happy smiling nigger works best. Games niggers enjoy include: 1) A good thrashing: every few days, take your nigger's pants down, hang it up by its heels, and have some of your other niggers thrash it with a club or whip. Your nigger will signal its intense enjoyment by shrieking and sobbing. 2) Lynch the nigger: niggers are cheap and there are millions more where yours came from. So every now and then, push the boat out a bit and lynch a nigger.

Lynchings are best done with a rope over the branch of a tree, and niggers just love to be lynched. It makes them feel special. Make your other niggers watch. They'll be so grateful, they'll work harder for a day or two (and then you can lynch another one). 3) Nigger dragging: Tie your nigger by one wrist to the tow bar on the back of suitable vehicle, then drive away at approximately 50mph. Your nigger's shrieks of enjoyment will be heard for miles. It will shriek until it falls apart. To prolong the fun for the nigger, do *NOT* drag him by his feet, as his head comes off too soon. This is painless for the nigger, but spoils the fun. Always wear a seatbelt and never exceed the speed limit. 4) Playing on the PNL: a variation on (2), except you can lynch your nigger out in the fields, thus saving work time. Niggers enjoy this game best if the PNL is operated by a man in a tall white hood. 5) Hunt the nigger: a variation of Hunt the Slipper, but played outdoors, with Dobermans. WARNING: do not let your Dobermans bite a nigger, as they are highly toxic.

DISPOSAL OF DEAD NIGGERS.
Niggers die on average at around 40, which some might say is 40 years too late, but there you go. Most people prefer their niggers dead, in fact. When yours dies, report the license number of the car that did the drive-by shooting of your nigger. The police will collect the nigger and dispose of it for you.

COMMON PROBLEMS WITH NIGGERS - MY NIGGER IS VERY AGGRESIVE
Have it put down, for god's sake. Who needs an uppity nigger? What are we, short of niggers or something?

MY NIGGER KEEPS RAPING WHITE WOMEN
They all do this. Shorten your nigger's chain so it can't reach any white women, and arm heavily any white women who might go near it.

WILL MY NIGGER ATTACK ME?
Not unless it outnumbers you 20 to 1, and even then, it's not likely. If niggers successfully overthrew their owners, they'd have to sort out their own food. This is probably why nigger uprisings were nonexistent (until some fool gave them rights).

MY NIGGER BITCHES ABOUT ITS "RIGHTS" AND "RACISM".
Yeah, well, it would. Tell it to shut the fuck up.

MY NIGGER'S HIDE IS A FUNNY COLOR. - WHAT IS THE CORRECT SHADE FOR A NIGGER?
A nigger's skin is actually more or less transparent. That brown color you can see is the shit your nigger is full of. This is why some models of nigger are sold as "The Shitskin".

MY NIGGER ACTS LIKE A NIGGER, BUT IS WHITE.
What you have there is a "wigger". Rough crowd. WOW!

IS THAT LIKE AN ALBINO? ARE THEY RARE?
They're as common as dog shit and about as valuable. In fact, one of them was President between 1992 and 2000. Put your wigger in a cage with a few hundred genuine niggers and you'll soon find it stops acting like a nigger. However, leave it in the cage and let the niggers dispose of it. The best thing for any wigger is a dose of TNB.

MY NIGGER SMELLS REALLY BAD
And you were expecting what?

SHOULD I STORE MY DEAD NIGGER?
When you came in here, did you see a sign that said "Dead nigger storage"? .That's because there ain't no goddamn sign.

Re:Long gone (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34533122)

TL;DR;

Re:Long gone (1)

MokuMokuRyoushi (1701196) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530746)

Use it and lose it?

Re:Long gone (1)

Spydeh (1304095) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531596)

Solar winds will be caught in these mylar sails... C'mon really? No one went for the cheesy Armageddon reference, I am disappointed.

Re:Long gone (1)

strongpassword (1741210) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531620)

It's five-year mission: to boldly go where no solar sail has gone before.

Re:Long gone (1)

Forge (2456) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531626)

Perhaps it slipped into a Neutrino flow and hit warp speeds. The Cardassians are now trying to figure out where it came from.

Re:Long gone (1)

thorgil (455385) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533034)

correction... not Neutrino
Tachyon.

http://www.startrek.com/database_article/tachyon-eddies [startrek.com]
Know yer starrytrek

Re:Long gone (1)

tophermeyer (1573841) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533738)

It's funny, because I just watched The Motion Picture this weekend. The first thought I had when I read this story was wondering how likely it is that the probe will find its way back to us one day.

Re:Long gone (1)

db10 (740174) | more than 3 years ago | (#34535708)

Eddies in the space time continuum?

Reason (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530520)

The reason it was lost is that it forgot to tack in a particularly bad solar wind.

Re:Reason (1)

camperslo (704715) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530648)

Could the recent coronal mass ejection (CME) have anything to do with this?

http://slashdot.org/story/10/12/07/2158228/slashdot.sourceforge.net [slashdot.org]

Re:Reason (1)

EdZ (755139) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530700)

No. As the linked summary states, the CME was not directed at the Earth.

Re:Reason (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530724)

No. As the linked summary states, the CME was not directed at the Earth.

Of course. The Solarians directed the flare to destroy the solar sail.
Gotta go. Time for Art Bell reruns.

FASTSAT Post (2)

DamonHD (794830) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530528)

Bad luck on losing the sail. I had some tiny direct extra stake in the Planetary Soc's solar sail attempts and still have a little on their latest as a member. I'd really like to see this work as it seems so much more elegant than just throwing more chemicals at space travel.

Reminds us that not much in space is routine; indeed it's still rocket science.

Rgds

Damon

Re:FASTSAT Post (4, Informative)

david.given (6740) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530794)

All is not lost; JAXA's IKAROS is doing just fine. According to their blog (no link because accurséd Slashdot won't let me paste into text boxes) it did a flyby of Venus a few days ago and is now on its way... nowhere in particular (as a propulsion testbed it's more important that it is going than where it goes). But they've demonstrated deployment, acceleration, attitude control and power generation; it's now a fully functional interplanetary spacecraft powered purely by the sun.

Of course, given that its tiny solar sail produces a thrust of about 1mN, which given IKAROS' 300kg mass comes out at about 3 um/s^2 or approximately 0.0000003g, I don't think it'll be blazing across the solar system any time soon; but it does show that the whole principle works. Now we need a full size one (and JAXA's planning a solar sail-powered Jupiter missing in the late 2010s).

Re:FASTSAT Post (1)

MichaelSmith (789609) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530878)

and JAXA's planning a solar sail-powered Jupiter missing in the late 2010s

I think a solar sail mission to Mercury would be a far better idea.

Re:FASTSAT Post (1)

oobayly (1056050) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531182)

Now we need a full size one

Sure, but what about all the extra drag a really big solar sail will have?

Re:FASTSAT Post (1)

Mordie (1943326) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531526)

space has no atmosphere, thus infinitesimal resistance, infinitesimal drag, only problem is that you cannot use them to go towards the sun, unfortunatly

Re:FASTSAT Post (4, Informative)

Kell Bengal (711123) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531874)

you cannot use them to go towards the sun, unfortunatly

Not true at all! Due to the way that orbital mechanics works, you can use a solar sail to travel anywhere in orbit. If you tilt your solar sail so that the deflection of light occurs at an angle to the oncoming photons, you can produce a net force on the spacecraft retrograde to your orbital path. This slows your orbital velocity, causing you to spiral inward towards the star. To stabilise your orbit or to head outwards in a transfer orbit, you can tilt back the other way to apply prograde force.

It's a simple and elegant means of getting around space. The only real problem is that it's a tremendously slow way of traveling across orbital distances.

Re:FASTSAT Post (1)

Nefarious Wheel (628136) | more than 3 years ago | (#34532702)

It's a simple and elegant means of getting around space. The only real problem is that it's a tremendously slow way of traveling across orbital distances.

As the esteemed Dr. Jerry Pournelle once said to me (we were discussing the possibility of using spaceborne lasers made out of ice) Slow isn't a problem - if it takes ten years to get from the asteroid belt to Earth, send one per year and after ten years you get one per year for life.

Re:FASTSAT Post (1)

oobayly (1056050) | more than 3 years ago | (#34532676)

Is it bad etiquette to woosh a reply to one's own comment?

Re:FASTSAT Post (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34533010)

LOL

Re:FASTSAT Post (1)

mswhippingboy (754599) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531294)

accurséd Slashdot won't let me paste into text boxes

This is not a Slashdot problem (well, as far as I know it's not). This problem only seems to occur when using Chrome (it works with IE and Firefox - don't know about other browsers). The Chrome project is aware of this (I have no idea when/if they will fix it).

Re:FASTSAT Post (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34535434)

Also broken in Safari, so I'm guessing WebKit in general. Spellcheck also doesn't work, presumably for the same reason. And before this bug I regularly had problems getting the text area into focus. You wouldn't think providing a typing area on a mature forums site would be such a big deal.

Re:FASTSAT Post (1)

eleuthero (812560) | more than 3 years ago | (#34536278)

I've had problems with it in general on OS X lately (Firefox, Safari, and Chrome).

Re:FASTSAT Post (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34532464)

Also, EU is funding research on electric sails. The link refuses to paste for some reason, but google 'eu-backed electric sail'.

Re:FASTSAT Post (2)

Yvanhoe (564877) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533140)

Also note that it took JAXA a few failed tries before managing to deploy correctly a solar sail. The fact that NASA failed its first one does not strike me as very surprising. What I find surprising however is that they don't seem to use the Japanese experience very much to prevent these failures...

Re:FASTSAT Post (1)

Thelasko (1196535) | more than 3 years ago | (#34535418)

JAXA's IKAROS is doing just fine. According to their blog... it did a flyby of Venus a few days ago and is now on its way

That's great news! Unfortunately, the only article I could find was in Japanese. [google.com]

Re:FASTSAT Post (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34532742)

Stuff on earth fails regularly and we're not wondering. We know much less about stuff in space, yet we most of the time expect it to work perfectly (and yet, it still fail regularly - we're human right).
I suppose everything (or nothing) is rocket science ;-)

More like a ... (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530534)

... Solar Fail!

Ha ha! Ha ha! ... *vomits*

Re:More like a ... (1)

pinkushun (1467193) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533134)

It's refreshing to see the world's oldest meme, a pun, used on the tubes!

Gone with the (solar) wind (4, Funny)

sourcerror (1718066) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530542)

Gone with the (solar) wind

Danger Will Robinson! Danger! (1)

sanman2 (928866) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531024)

(flails arms uselessly)

Re:Danger Will Robinson! Danger! (1)

seven of five (578993) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531818)

The pain... oh, the pain!

Re:Gone with the (solar) wind (1)

GodfatherofSoul (174979) | more than 3 years ago | (#34535778)

Two great puns in a row! Well played, sirs!!!

They'll just have to try again (2, Insightful)

Froggels (1724218) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530550)

While setbacks are inevitable it doesn't mean that scientists should not keep trying.

Meanwhile in a /. a few lightyears away (2)

Haedrian (1676506) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530574)

"Weird solar sail with "NASA" written on it found"

Re:Meanwhile in a /. a few lightyears away (4, Funny)

MichaelSmith (789609) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530626)

They are going to be confused when they find out that NASA is a brand of lubricants in Malaysia.

Re:Meanwhile in a /. a few lightyears away (1)

imakemusic (1164993) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533172)

"Gigantic Space Condom Found - Randy Space Giant Theory Proposed"

Re:Meanwhile in a /. a few lightyears away (1)

eleuthero (812560) | more than 3 years ago | (#34536300)

Given the number of ads displayed in the typical satellite TV feed and that these surely bleed over into space, I expect they will not be surprised in the least and simply chalk it up to some big marketing strategy.

Re:Meanwhile in a /. a few lightyears away (1)

Kjella (173770) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530722)

Meanwhile in a /. a few lightyears away: "Weird solar sail with "NASA" written on it found"

Well, if they did manage to get it a few lightyears away that'd make this mission NASAs biggest success ever. So far the record is about 0.002 ly.

Re:Meanwhile in a /. a few lightyears away (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530778)

Nope. Both Voyager probes are well over a light-day away from earth. Voyager 1 being over 31 light-hours away. So it's more like .0035 ly

Re:Meanwhile in a /. a few lightyears away (5, Informative)

Kjella (173770) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531634)

Nope. Both Voyager probes are well over a light-day away from earth. Voyager 1 being over 31 light-hours away. So it's more like .0035 ly

Check your sources [nasa.gov] . It's about 116 AU or 16 light hours away.

Re:Meanwhile in a /. a few lightyears away (1)

peragrin (659227) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530866)

it got shot through a wormhole created by the recent CME.

what I saw it on tv it must be true.

Fucking Martians nicked it. (4, Funny)

Arancaytar (966377) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530582)

They're always stealing or breaking our stuff, those jerks.

Re:Fucking Martians nicked it. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530640)

Dammit, K'Breel.

pics or it didn't happen (4, Insightful)

confused one (671304) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530654)

Sad when an internet meme is so appropriate... So they had a microswitch that says it deployed. Why not put a small camera on one or both to provide some visual feedback? It is an experimental deployment of (1) a cubesat from a microsat, and (2) an experimental sail membrane, yes? How would they know, for certain, that it deployed correctly if there are no pics? Given how small cameras are today, it seems like a no-brainer.

Re:pics or it didn't happen (1)

Rockoon (1252108) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530714)

I was going to post this same thing.

Also, why wasnt this done near the ISS so that *it* could have had a good look at what was going on, with maybe even a possible spacewalk to retrieve and examine a failure.

Re:pics or it didn't happen (1)

newcastlejon (1483695) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530756)

Cameras may be small but they still weigh something. Setting aside the need for them to transmit footage, the main concern with any spacecraft - but particularly sails - is the mass you're pushing around.

Weight and telemetry (4, Informative)

mangu (126918) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530910)

Given how small cameras are today, it seems like a no-brainer.

Perhaps the name "NanoSail-D" will give a hint on how small this satellite is.

However, the camera size itself is not all that matters. In order to send telemetry down there must exist a telemetry transmitter on board. It might surprise you to know that even large satellites often transmit telemetry at 1 kbps or so.

Transmitting wide band, such as needed by a video signal, requires higher power. Sending high power down needs a bulkier and heavier transmitter. More power in the telemetry beacon requires more DC power, which means bigger batteries and bigger solar panels.

These are the two main constraints in a spacecraft: mass and consumed power. Every piece of equipment on board must be screened for these two parameters, nothing is included unless it's absolutely certain that it couldn't be done with less mass and less power.

Re:Weight and telemetry (3, Interesting)

careysub (976506) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531102)

Given how small cameras are today, it seems like a no-brainer.

Perhaps the name "NanoSail-D" will give a hint on how small this satellite is.

However, the camera size itself is not all that matters. In order to send telemetry down there must exist a telemetry transmitter on board. It might surprise you to know that even large satellites often transmit telemetry at 1 kbps or so.

Transmitting wide band, such as needed by a video signal, requires higher power. Sending high power down needs a bulkier and heavier transmitter. More power in the telemetry beacon requires more DC power, which means bigger batteries and bigger solar panels.

...

The camera would not be on the "NanoSail-D", it would be on the mother satellite FASTSAT which weighs 148 kg. How much does a simple solid state camera weigh these days? It couldn't be more than several grams I would think. And what's this about a "video signal"? To confirm satellite deployment they would need only one single still frame which would only be transmitted if they needed it. And so what if it takes a dayor two to transmit the image along with its other data streams? They are going to be wondering about this for months or years.

Re:Weight and telemetry (1)

Kell Bengal (711123) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531890)

How much does a simple solid state camera weigh these days?

Why, hardly anything at all!

Oh, wait - you mean you want one rated for vacuum, extremes of hot and cold, radiation outside of an atmosphere and G-loading/vibration tolerance to launch conditions? Hmm... let me ask Raytheon and get back to you...

Re:Weight and telemetry (2)

c6gunner (950153) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531946)

Those things are a necessity when the camera is a mission-critical piece of kit that needs to survive and function perfectly for a couple years; they're just a nice-to-have when the camera is meant to take pictures - which you probably won't even need - bare minutes after achieving orbit.

Re:Weight and telemetry (1)

Brett Buck (811747) | more than 3 years ago | (#34532834)

Most current cameras as you describe would dissolve into tiny little bits before it clears the launch tower. The acoustic feedback alone will probably kill it.

Re:Weight and telemetry (2)

tibit (1762298) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533686)

A "current" camera is essentially a chip the size of a SO-8, a small cast lens retainer that's attached to the PCB, and the lens -- everything fits in under a cubic centimeter. It'd take tremendous accelerations to "dissolve it into tiny bits" -- if the camera would disintegrate, there would be nothing left of the rocket. F=m*a after all, with m on the order of a gram.

If you go for a pinhole, it'd be even simpler -- the pinhole and enclosure (light shield) are a little cast piece that can be bonded to the PCB while the PCB itself is being laminated. Probably the cable will weigh more than the camera, even if you manufacture the camera and cable as a flex PCB, as many aerospace gadgets are done for weight savings and reliability (at least one connector less).

Re:Weight and telemetry (3, Informative)

Muad'Dave (255648) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533570)

Those things are a necessity when the camera is a mission-critical piece of kit ...

Not really true - it only takes one piece of non launch-rated equipment to mess up the whole works. Imagine it shorting out or breaking into a zillion pieces on launch and getting into the science instruments.

Your idea would work if it were physically and electrically separated from the main payload, but that would entail a lot of extra weight.

The microswitch probably did its job - the sat probably moved enough to trigger that. The fact that no amateur satellite watchers [satobs.org] have seen it and the Air Force hasn't found it with radar are good indications that it hung up on deploy.

Re:Weight and telemetry (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34532202)

Given how small cameras are today, it seems like a no-brainer.

Perhaps the name "NanoSail-D" will give a hint on how small this satellite is.

However, the camera size itself is not all that matters. In order to send telemetry down there must exist a telemetry transmitter on board. It might surprise you to know that even large satellites often transmit telemetry at 1 kbps or so.

Transmitting wide band, such as needed by a video signal, requires higher power. Sending high power down needs a bulkier and heavier transmitter. More power in the telemetry beacon requires more DC power, which means bigger batteries and bigger solar panels.

These are the two main constraints in a spacecraft: mass and consumed power. Every piece of equipment on board must be screened for these two parameters, nothing is included unless it's absolutely certain that it couldn't be done with less mass and less power.

there is already telemetry on board obviously.
No need to download heavy video, just a couple of still images, black and white,
does not matter if it takes hours to donwload, at least they would have something to look at,
and to see the sail deploy as well if it worked.
we talk about a few grams only here.

Re:pics or it didn't happen (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34531054)

God damn it, you're right. I wish they hired people like you at NASA, instead of those brain dead twits. A camera? Brilliant. No one ever thought of that. Thank god for /. armchair rocket scientists!

Re:pics or it didn't happen (2)

Animats (122034) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531388)

Yes. NASA's claimed purpose for this launch was to "test NASA's ability to deploy a massive but fragile spacecraft from an extremely compact structure." It wasn't capable of sailing anywhere; it was placed into such a low orbit that atmospheric drag would bring it down in about four months. Now they have to do the whole project again (or give up) without having learned much from this failure. While there's a weight, power, and data storage penalty for having a camera, it's far cheaper to add one than to launch again.

Re:pics or it didn't happen (4, Insightful)

Brett Buck (811747) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531540)

Well, sort of. But supplying a sufficient downlink and the associated extra weight and power just for a mechanism check that is generally trivial to verify with limit switches or break wires might have put the entire thing in jeopardy of never launching in the first place. Note that the deployment test proper was a full day after separation. Separating it wasn't part of the test.

        If the limit switch/breakwire showed it ejected, the overwhemling likelihood is that it did that - and then failed to come alive 24 hours later when it was supposed to. Could have deployed properly and just had a telemetry failure, that's at least as likely as anything else, and for a nano-sat on a very short mission it's pretty unlikely to have any more than a single-string system for anything, so no redundancy.

      Brett

Re:pics or it didn't happen (2)

MobileTatsu-NJG (946591) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531942)

Why not put a small camera on one or both to provide some visual feedback?

Because every gram of mass is expensive and hindsight is 20/20.

You can't buy those at walmart (1)

dutchwhizzman (817898) | more than 3 years ago | (#34532818)

Have you ever been shopping for cameras that are capable of surviving more than a day of space radiation? How about buying the video encoder for it and getting your extra data traffic through the transmitter on the thing you hurled into space? You're going to be spending millions just to watch a few minutes of a deployment that either works, or it doesn't.

You already know what it's going to look like if it works, so for that occasion, using a microswitch will suffice. The only reason why you might want to put a camera on is to see how it fails. For that you will need a lot of speed and resolution, IE expensive equipment, lots of data to be stored on the solid state so it can reliably be (re)transmitted to earth. I doubt NASA, with it's current budget, will want to spend many millions so they can show the world they failed.

Re:You can't buy those at walmart (2)

tibit (1762298) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533734)

There are two aspects of space radiation: errors and cumulative damage. When you shop for mission-critical equipment, especially for the control computers, you want them to work just fine in spite of radiation. For a camera like that: who cares if there are upsets in individual pixels periodically, or if it becomes noisier after a few days. COTS laptops work just fine on IST, and it's hardly a radiation-tight environment, so I think that the space buffs here who are used to $1E6 through $1E8 price tags for cameras just need to calm down. It's not a Cassini mission.

gilligan's island in space (1)

angelwolf71885 (1181671) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530704)

ust sit right back and you'll hear a tale, A tale of a fateful trip That started from this tropic port Aboard this tiny ship. The mate was a mighty sailing man, The skipper brave and sure. Five passengers set sail that day For a three hour tour, a three hour tour. The weather started getting rough, The tiny ship was tossed, If not for the courage of the fearless crew The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost.

not exactly rocket science (5, Funny)

jandoedel (1149947) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530728)

Solar sails are not exactly rocket science...

Re:not exactly rocket science (1)

ZappedSparky (1935014) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531356)

What did we use? Metric or imperial?

Re:not exactly rocket science (1)

imakemusic (1164993) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533576)

...well it ain't brain surgery!

Re:not exactly rocket science (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34533894)

Brain surgery isn't exactly rocket science, is it? [youtube.com]

Re:not exactly rocket science (1)

Anne_Nonymous (313852) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533618)

No, but we are going to need a rocket surgeon.

Where have I heard that before... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530760)

"Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!"

NASA Solar Sail 'Lost In Space' (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530776)

Danger Will Robinson

lol (0, Offtopic)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530800)

NASA = Tired old dinosaurs

Shiver me timbers! (1)

WSOGMM (1460481) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530832)

I've lost me satellite!

IA thank you for your time (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34530846)

um... (1)

Charliemopps (1157495) | more than 3 years ago | (#34530958)

Spring ejection? Outer space? Wouldn't be the first time the obvious slipped right by NASA.

Re:um... (1, Informative)

camperdave (969942) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531040)

Well, the fact that the nano-sail was NOT a solar sail, but was essentially a parachute for slowing down a satellite in the thin, thin remnants of atmosphere at Low Earth Orbit altitudes seems to have slipped by the journalists and the fine people at Slashdot.

... or are you saying that a spring ejection won't happen for a few months?

Dr Smith (1)

phrostie (121428) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531096)

Is there a Dr Smith on the project team?

Ground control to Major Tom (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34531128)

Commencing countdown engine's on.....

Tom?

Tom?

Anonymous Coward (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34531206)

Three hour tour...
  Three hour tour...

Maybe... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34531252)

Maybe it just hit a Tachyon Eddy [memory-alpha.org] and left the solar system...

Burn em up, or use em up? (1)

Banquo (225167) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531436)

I've always thought that every satellite/ship/station should be deigned with some kind of slow drive system and/or quick "death release" system that would cause them to fire out and land on or near the same spot on the moon. Then when/if moon bases/operations were a go you would have a huge stockpile of recycle materials to get you going. I'm sure the logistics are insane, but it seems even some kind of "bag it and sling it" system to shift orbital debris into a usable stockpile of stuff would make sense.

Of course I'm also for railgunning all our nuclear waste into the sun so,...practical isn't my middle name.

S. S. Minnow (1)

PPH (736903) | more than 3 years ago | (#34531444)

It ws only supposed to be a three hour tour.

Solar wind (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34531718)

I probably was burned up due to solar wind. Too flimsy.

Spring Ejaculation (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34531746)

Spring Ejaculation!? Only in the southern hemisphere!

Not the only thing lost in space (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34532144)

And there we were all in one place...

Pity it can't... (1)

Feinu (1956378) | more than 3 years ago | (#34532610)

...sail off into the sunset

Goddamn metric spring (1)

Rogerborg (306625) | more than 3 years ago | (#34532992)

If pound-force was good enough for the Baby Jesus, it should be good enough for NASA. What the hell is a Newton anyway - some kind of French furry fetish?

Re:Goddamn metric spring (1)

robthebloke (1308483) | more than 3 years ago | (#34533306)

Considering 'force' was first described by newton, that may cast doubt on whether pound-force was good enough for baby jesus. 'pound' weight measures aren't in the bible either, just bekas, schekles, minas, pims, gerahs and talents.

Re:Goddamn metric spring (1)

Rogerborg (306625) | more than 3 years ago | (#34535570)

In your heathen tract, maybe. In mine, the original American one, the Baby Jesus speaks English, weighs in pounds, pays in dollars and cents, and drives a Ford. Which produces horsepower and does miles to the gallon.

Re:Goddamn metric spring (1)

GodfatherofSoul (174979) | more than 3 years ago | (#34535926)

Baby Jesus drove a Chevy, you communist, sexual deviant

It's obvious who's to blame... (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 3 years ago | (#34534740)

Dr. Zachary Smith does it again!

I just dont get it.... (1)

hesaigo999ca (786966) | more than 3 years ago | (#34536090)

DO we not have 1 million webcams everywhere, and does not everyone have routers now that can send info back and forth within a network, could they not have attached a camera to view things, from both the sail and the deployment capsule, and also add some sort of beacon to transmit data as if to say, we do not trust things will go perfectly, so we will add some way of visually confirming everything did go ok...???

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