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Swiss Bank Has 43-Page Dress Code

samzenpus posted more than 3 years ago | from the dress-for-a-specific-success dept.

Businesses 212

Tasha26 writes "The HR of Swiss bank UBS AG came up with an innovative 43-page document (French) to establish fashion 'dos' and 'don'ts' in their retail branches. Among the rules are such things as: 'neither sex should allow their underwear to appear,' perhaps Dilbert was a bit ahead of them on that. The document also mentions smells and 'avoid garlic and onion-based dishes.'"

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212 comments

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/.ers (4, Funny)

courteaudotbiz (1191083) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616010)

Should avoid working for this bank!

Re:/.ers (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616134)

Should avoid working for ANY bank.

I want to see the money laundering code (1)

h00manist (800926) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616846)

I could care less about the dress code, I want to see the money laundering policy, and the code to detect it.
But I have a feeling it says something like "Monkey no see, monkey no hear, monkey no say", in elaborate legalese, in 38 separate policies, procedure manuals, and legal/sales dept coordinated recommendations, totaling 4392 pages of policy. They surely have huge conflicts in whose dirty money they see or inform on, and whose they don't.

Re:I want to see the money laundering code (1)

JockTroll (996521) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617154)

You are badly informed. Money laundering these days (and for the last 20 years) is done either through casinos or real estate front-ends.

Re:I want to see the money laundering code (2)

TrisexualPuppy (976893) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617410)

Empty restaurants, man.

This is big vs. small business. No one ever takes small businesses into account when doing national statistics. But your bread-and-butter money laundering scheme in this country is your typical empty mom and pop restaurant.

Re:/.ers (1)

Saint Gerbil (1155665) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617240)

Who at the bank inspects the underwear ?
and doesn't get sued for sexual harresment every few days.

Re:/.ers (1)

bughunter (10093) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617602)

Well, you know, Swiss bankers are also known as the Gnomes of Zürich [wikipedia.org] .

Perhaps they are concerned about the Underwear Gnomes of Zürich.

do they have a policy against flatulence? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616038)

I'm going to have to start asking that at my job interviews.

Dress code? (4, Funny)

TheL0ser (1955440) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616046)

Only dress code that should be required: 1) Do not show up to work naked. 2) If you're in a position where you need to be taken seriously, dress so that the other guy will take you seriously. 3) Seriously, noone wants to see you naked.

Re:Dress code? (2)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616106)

1) Do not show up to work naked

So that's why they fired me!

Re:Dress code? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616120)

you would think.. but you would me amazed, amazed i tell you! what morons are in active employement

Re:Dress code? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616206)

My porn studio finds your dress code far too restrictive.

Re:Dress code? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616316)

I work in porn, you insensitive clod.

   

Re:Dress code? (2)

twidarkling (1537077) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617540)

And trust me, still no one wants to see you naked.

Re:Dress code? (2)

ByOhTek (1181381) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616374)

It's amazing the number of people who cannot understand what kind of outfits a business person will take seriously. I've seen people with spiky hair, piercings and tatoos all over, and baggy/ripped/faded outfits unable to comprehend how someone could not take them seriously.

Then again - relaxed dress code here:
    No holes where there shouldn't be holes
    Must wear Shoes that cover your toes, Skirt or Pants (trousers for those of you in the UK) and a Shirt

That about sums it up.

Re:Dress code? (1)

clone52431 (1805862) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616496)

Must wear Shoes that cover your toes, Skirt or Pants (trousers for those of you in the UK) and a Shirt

So open-toed women’s dress shoes would be a no-no?

Re:Dress code? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616814)

If you're male, then yes, they would be a no-no.

Re:Dress code? (1)

egamma (572162) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616818)

Must wear Shoes that cover your toes, Skirt or Pants (trousers for those of you in the UK) and a Shirt

So open-toed women’s dress shoes would be a no-no?

A lot of places use this formula:

open-toed != dress

Re:Dress code? (1)

mangu (126918) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616914)

open-toed women's dress shoes would be a no-no?

It says so on page 9, among the instructions for women:

"Chaussures fermées, noires et classiques"

Translation: "closed shoes, black and classic".

Re:Dress code? (2)

h00manist (800926) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617000)

It's amazing the number of people who cannot understand what kind of outfits a business person will take seriously. I've seen people with spiky hair, piercings and tatoos all over, and baggy/ripped/faded outfits unable to comprehend how someone could not take them seriously.

I didn't want to figure it out for years, and could never work in IT. Finally I accepted if I wanted to work for "the system", I needed the right costume, got a #!@*! suit, and got a programming job.

Then I got a job where the bosses dressed worse than everyone. Then I never got another job. Now I'm working on how to work each time less.

I'm not looking for a damn paycheck, I'm looking for a civilization where life is worthwhile.

Re:Dress code? (1)

peragrin (659227) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617458)

try Vulcan, you won't find that on earth that is for sure.

Re:Dress code? (3, Insightful)

sjames (1099) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617672)

To be fair, there are also plenty of people in suits that don't understand why the ripped jeans and t-shirt crowd doesn't think they're cool.

If you think about it for a moment, you will see that it is kind of silly that you're only taken seriously if you tie a strip of cloth around your neck tight enough to slightly restrict blood flow to your brain.

Beyond avoiding holes where they shouldn't be and not being offensive, it is all rather arbitrary and even childishly silly.

Re:Dress code? (1)

russotto (537200) | more than 3 years ago | (#34618056)

It's amazing the number of people who cannot understand what kind of outfits a business person will take seriously. I've seen people with spiky hair, piercings and tatoos all over, and baggy/ripped/faded outfits unable to comprehend how someone could not take them seriously.

Hey, gotta play to the stereotype. If I'm claiming to be the guru who can build their entire new computer system in nothing flat, the hacker ponytail, sandals, and ripped jeans are an absolute necessity.

And if you're trying to get a contract as a black hat hacker, spiky hair, tatoos, and piercings are pretty much necessary, despite the fact that at no point will the client actually see you.

Re:Dress code? (2)

Remus Shepherd (32833) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616438)

One of my favorite teachers in high school told us a story about how he managed to be fired from a job instead of quitting it. The dress code required pants, a shirt, jacket and tie. He sewed himself an outfit of those using transparent plastic. He was following the required dress to the letter while still proudly showing his underwear and bare chest.

Backscatter scanning (4, Funny)

2names (531755) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616058)

I can't wait for companies to start using these to enforce dress codes. "I'm sorry, Jim, but we can't allow you to wear your pretty, pretty princess underwear to work."

Re:Backscatter scanning (1)

JWSmythe (446288) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616144)

    You know, that's a great argument *FOR* strict dress code guidelines.

    If you know Jim is wearing pretty princess underwear, that's *WAY* more than anyone needed to know. :) Maybe if he wore pants also, it wouldn't be an issue.

Re:Backscatter scanning (1)

Abstrackt (609015) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616446)

Maybe if he wore pants also, it wouldn't be an issue.

What can I say? I love the breezy feeling only a kilt can provide!

huh (5, Interesting)

Anrego (830717) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616060)

So uh a business whose employees deal with customers on a daily basis in an industry where projecting an image of professionalism is very important has developed a guide to aid their employees? This just sounds like common sense to me.

43 pages sounds a bit insane, until you actually look at it. Large print, lots of diagrams, lots of whitespace/formatting not 43 walls of text. It actually looks pretty clean and readable.

Financial institutions are still one of the last places where we expect people to put some effort into their appearance. Even geeks like myself who cringe when they have to put on a tie tend to expect the people dealing with our savings to look the part. If the guy I’m greeted by has a nose ring, I’m out of there. Yay for double standards I guess.

Re:huh (4, Insightful)

Ephemeriis (315124) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616170)

So uh a business whose employees deal with customers on a daily basis in an industry where projecting an image of professionalism is very important has developed a guide to aid their employees? This just sounds like common sense to me.

Yup. Every business has a dress code. Some do uniforms... Some just tell you how you need to dress... Isn't that unusual.

43 pages sounds a bit insane

It does. And I assumed that it was all kinds of legalese...

until you actually look at it. Large print, lots of diagrams, lots of whitespace/formatting not 43 walls of text. It actually looks pretty clean and readable.

Not just clean and readable, but actually useful. There's instructions on how to tie a necktie. I don't know how to tie a necktie. If I got a job at one of those banks I'd have to go dig up some instructions on-line... Or I could just use the nice document that HR provides during orientation. That'd actually be handy.

Re:huh (1, Insightful)

digitig (1056110) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617168)

It does. And I assumed that it was all kinds of legalese...

No, it isn't. If you follow the link you'll find (as long as you can read French) that it is quite informally written. It takes so many pages because there's a lot of whitespace, lots of pictures, and lots of supplementary material explaining the reasons for the dresscode and showing different ways of tying a tie. It does essentially define a uniform (white shirt, charcoal, black or dark blue suit, plain black shoes and company tie for men), but the content that does that could probably be condensed to less than a single page.

Re:huh (2)

clone52431 (1805862) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617226)

It does. And I assumed that it was all kinds of legalese...

No, it isn't.

You stopped reading his post a little bit too soon.

Re:huh (3, Interesting)

holt (86624) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617824)

There's instructions on how to tie a necktie. I don't know how to tie a necktie. If I got a job at one of those banks I'd have to go dig up some instructions on-line... Or I could just use the nice document that HR provides during orientation. That'd actually be handy.

I don't know how one would get a job at a place like that without having worn a suit and tie to the interview. If they're telling people how to tie a necktie after the fact, isn't it too late?

Re:huh (3, Informative)

Ephemeriis (315124) | more than 3 years ago | (#34618120)

There's instructions on how to tie a necktie. I don't know how to tie a necktie. If I got a job at one of those banks I'd have to go dig up some instructions on-line... Or I could just use the nice document that HR provides during orientation. That'd actually be handy.

I don't know how one would get a job at a place like that without having worn a suit and tie to the interview. If they're telling people how to tie a necktie after the fact, isn't it too late?

Clip-on.

Re:huh (2)

russotto (537200) | more than 3 years ago | (#34618180)

I don't know how one would get a job at a place like that without having worn a suit and tie to the interview. If they're telling people how to tie a necktie after the fact, isn't it too late?

You could probably get through the interview with a tie tied incorrectly, but you'd better use one of the three accepted knots if you want to work there. I am surprised they don't specify a particular one.

Re:huh (1, Offtopic)

Hatta (162192) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616238)

So uh a business whose employees deal with customers on a daily basis in an industry where projecting an image of professionalism is very important has developed a guide to aid their employees? This just sounds like common sense to me.

It is common sense. The interesting part is that common sense reigns here, but not in the actual operations of the bank. If they spent as much time ensuring that their employees were doing their job properly, and not just dressing the part, they may have avoided the financial crisis they find themselves in.

43 pages sounds a bit insane, until you actually look at it. Large print, lots of diagrams, lots of whitespace/formatting not 43 walls of text. It actually looks pretty clean and readable.

No fine print? Bet they don't offer their customers the same courtesy.

Even geeks like myself who cringe when they have to put on a tie tend to expect the people dealing with our savings to look the part. If the guy I'm greeted by has a nose ring, I'm out of there.

I guess if you look respectable enough, you don't actually have to act respectably. I'd be willing to bet that any UBS employee that got a nose ring would be shown the door much, much more quickly than any UBS employee that engaged in mortgage fraud.

A suit and tie are the colors for the most powerful gang in the world. Sure, a thug in a red bandana might steal your wallet. A thug in a suit and tie will steal your entire future, and get a million dollar bonus for it.

Re:huh (0)

Dishevel (1105119) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617048)

So after all that quoting and posting the end result was that you have nothing to say on the actual topic?

Re:huh (0)

Hatta (162192) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617542)

As long as bankers are the greatest villains of our age, no discussion concerning bankers should pass without acknowledging that they are in fact the greatest villains of our age.

Re:huh (2)

lgw (121541) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617242)

suit and tie are the colors for the most powerful gang in the world. Sure, a thug in a red bandana might steal your wallet. A thug in a suit and tie will steal your entire future, and get a million dollar bonus for it.

Sorry to question your off-topic rant, but did anyone actually lose their savings deposited with a bank in the recent debacle? Certainly not in the US. Investors got screwed, but that's the risk you take.

The thug who stole (a part of) my future did wear a tie, but he was the politician that bailed out the bank with my tax dollars (mostly future), not a banker.

Re:huh (1)

Hatta (162192) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617958)

The politican may have made a bad decision when dealing with the crisis, but the banker is responsible for the crisis. Neither of them have clean hands and they are both thugs in my book.

Personally, I'm not concerned about the individual investors wiped out by the financial crisis. The people who really fucked over are the millions of people unemployed today who wouldn't be if not for the crimes of the banking industry.

Re:huh (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34617456)

A suit and tie are the colors for the most powerful gang in the world. Sure, a thug in a red bandana might steal your wallet. A thug in a suit and tie will steal your entire future, and get a million dollar bonus for it.

Not all who wear suits and ties are lawyers.

A banker or broker can only "steal" your "fortune" if you don't do basic research and math.

Re:huh (1)

Hatta (162192) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617782)

So it's entirely impossible for a bank to over extend itself entirely out of its own greed, panic, and stop lending to your boss causing him to go out of business and you to lose your job? Have you been paying attention at all the last two years? The irresponsible behavior of banks affects the entire economy, whether you've been responsible with your money or not.

Re:huh (2)

truthsearch (249536) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616248)

Exactly. My last employer (a financial institution) had a much more detailed and lengthy employee handbook. Included were which way to face in an elevator, on which side to put down your briefcase, and acceptable tie patterns. I thought it strange that it also told employees to wash their hands after using the bathroom, but at least I could appreciate that one.

Re:huh (2)

hpavc (129350) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616506)

Awesome, should share it.

Re:huh (1)

morgan_greywolf (835522) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616444)

43 pages sounds a bit insane, until you actually look at it. Large print, lots of diagrams, lots of whitespace/formatting not 43 walls of text. It actually looks pretty clean and readable.

Exactly. And if you read the instructions (Google Translate is your friend if you don't speak French, or even if, like me, your French is very rusty) they tell you everything your father taught when he showed you how to wear a suit: Don't stuff your pockets, make sure there is at least space for one finger between your collar and neck, tuck your shirt in properly, the jacket should "hang" on your shoulders nicely, keep your creases neat, etc.

Re:huh (1)

selven (1556643) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616468)

If it's that important, why not just have uniforms? I don't pay much attention to dress but I recall at least one of the banks in my area had all their employees dressed exactly the same way.

Re:huh (1)

Snowgen (586732) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616842)

If it's that important, why not just have uniforms?

In a way, they do have uniforms. The uniform is the method of dress spelled out in the dress code.Their uniform just has more variation allowed.

But what would uniforms save? You still need to tell people how to wear them. The US Air Force spends about 160 pages [af.mil] (annoying PDF) telling people how to wear theirs.

you want a high class bank to have monkey suit uni (1)

Joe The Dragon (967727) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617090)

you want a high class bank to have monkey suit uniforms? if you want that go to white castle.

Re:huh (0)

roman_mir (125474) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616880)

Financial institutions are still one of the last places where we expect people to put some effort into their appearance. Even geeks like myself who cringe when they have to put on a tie tend to expect the people dealing with our savings to look the part. If the guy I’m greeted by has a nose ring, I’m out of there. Yay for double standards I guess.

- I agree. If somebody is going to steal my money, they better look good doing it, otherwise I'd be majorly pissed (I mean, I'd be quite pissed if some bum with a nose ring took my cash.)

dress for Lady Macbeth (2)

smoothnorman (1670542) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616062)

And when opening new accounts for African dictators, "intelligence" groups, mercenaries, drug-lords, and the odd nazi, one should be sure that one's hands are kept lily white.

Re:dress for Lady Macbeth (1)

b4upoo (166390) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617784)

In Florida where the real monsters play the huge accounts are posted by South Americans. They are by far the greatest ethnic group that open accounts in the hundreds of millions or billions of dollars. And no, they are not all drug lords. Many are land barons who have held huge estates ever since Spanish colonial days. That may well mean they are even more vile and evil than the drug lords.
                Believe it or not young women just out of high school seek jobs in banks so that they can study the holdings of potential fools and get next to and marry them. These young women actually have long running plans on harpooning and harvesting a whale.

Re:dress for Lady Macbeth (1)

Upaut (670171) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617956)

"And when opening new accounts for African dictators, "intelligence" groups, mercenaries, drug-lords, and the odd nazi"

Actually in the last decade, the war on terror has destroyed the anonymity of Swiss banking. Which despite the Swiss stating they don't want people to use their banks for money laundering or tax evasion, the fact that many who have/had accounts there were doing just that. So being a signatory on an international banking treaty to prevent a terrorist wiring funds around to his pals, it has actually ended the golden age of Swiss banking. And more and more people are withdrawing their funds, leading to a massive downturn in their principle "export". Back in the eighties and before many Swiss banks had a before custom suite, that had their own ability to clear customs and inspect "but not stamp" passports. So you could enter the room, transfer a few bonds, and then be allowed to enter Europe without having your passport stamped. Which if you ever encountered this was a fairly terrifying indication that if you had enough money, you were essentially exempt from needing to declare yourself...

These days China is the place to be if you are an aspiring lord. There is a reason when you read about all the new scams, the novel Malay 419 the other day, or the house sale without owner consent from months past ended with the funds entering china. They are one of th last place that advertises that the banker is always right. And are large enough to protect that.

Wait, Swiss? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616066)

Does this mean it's in three different languages??

Re:Wait, Swiss? (1)

JockTroll (996521) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617188)

Four. Rumantsch Grischun must be included. You know, James Caviezel speaks it and that's why Aramaic was no problem for him in The Passion.

Tell it like it is (0, Flamebait)

GerryHattrick (1037764) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616116)

Once upon a time, we all knew all this. Then they let grils in, and distractions started. Then they went multinational and USians were Puritans, and Antipodeans were simply cheerful. So - give us the guide, please. Do we have to button our jackets in China? (I didn't and it offended). But... red ties? 'dry clean' shirts? (suits, surely). Let Dilbert advise.

Re:Tell it like it is (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616204)

Swiss bankers all up in my grill.

I don't know about any of you... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616146)

but i tend not to wear garlic or onion-based dishes.

lady gaga i'm looking at you

In my religion (1)

Jay L (74152) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617894)

we traditionally wear onion belts, you insensitive clod!

(I think I got two or three points there.)

Anybody remember the UBS email disclaimer? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616168)

No doubt this came from the same people who invented the longest email disclaimer.

Thanks El Reg. for archiving this for posterity.

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Chances are (-1, Troll)

Chrisq (894406) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616174)

Chances are they will enforce it strictly on everyone except Muslims who insist or wearing a kamize and hajib who will be told "of course wear what you want, our culture is subservient to yours"

Re:Chances are (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616354)

You're right. Clearly they shouldn't even be employing sand niggers - and should beat up any that happen to sneak in to make sure they know that *their* "culture" should be subservient to WHITE PEOPLE. I bet you're a huge hit at the local KKK rallies.

Re:Chances are (2)

aristotle-dude (626586) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616884)

Chances are they will enforce it strictly on everyone except Muslims who insist or wearing a kamize and hajib who will be told "of course wear what you want, our culture is subservient to yours"

This is not a troll. It is a commentary on the double standards which exist in the UK and other parts of Europe. They have a double standard for driver's license photos and for airport security for muslim women.

Re:Chances are (1)

Fujisawa Sensei (207127) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616970)

Chances are they will enforce it strictly on everyone except Muslims who insist or wearing a kamize and hajib who will be told "of course wear what you want, our culture is subservient to yours"

This is not a troll. It is a commentary on the double standards which exist in the UK and other parts of Europe. They have a double standard for driver's license photos and for airport security for muslim women.

If the muslim woman can't take her mask off to have her picture taken, if it covers your face its a mask by any other name, she shouldn't be driving either.

Re:Chances are (2)

Fujisawa Sensei (207127) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616990)

Chances are they will enforce it strictly on everyone except Muslims who insist or wearing a kamize and hajib who will be told "of course wear what you want, our culture is subservient to yours"

This is not a troll. It is a commentary on the double standards which exist in the UK and other parts of Europe. They have a double standard for driver's license photos and for airport security for muslim women.

If the muslim woman can't take her mask off to have her picture taken, if it covers your face its a mask by any other name, she shouldn't be driving either.

Just holding them to their own standards, can't claim one without the other.

Re:Chances are (2)

Chrisq (894406) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617074)

Chances are they will enforce it strictly on everyone except Muslims who insist or wearing a kamize and hajib who will be told "of course wear what you want, our culture is subservient to yours"

This is not a troll. It is a commentary on the double standards which exist in the UK and other parts of Europe. They have a double standard for driver's license photos and for airport security for muslim women.

Correct. Some people are so used to giving way to Islam that they see any suggestion that we should hold Muslims to the same standards as anyone else as "islamaphobic". We ban Santa [minnpost.com] because more than one Muslim might be offended, but if two non-muslims said they were offended by an "Eid Murnbarak" poster how far do you think that would get. When Muslims set off bombs in our cities the call is not to stop Muslims setting off bombs but not to allow the incident to undermine multiculturalism! Muslims frequently [cnn.com] burn [ikhwanweb.com] bibles [reuters.com] but go on the rampage when someone says they will burn the Qur'an - but doesn't!

hmm (1)

tudorl (841940) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616208)

44 pages considering the cover page.

Dilbert (1)

G1369311007 (719689) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616216)

How does someone remember a comic from that long ago?

Re:Dilbert (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34617916)

I just knew that if I maintained prefect encyclopedic knowledge of every Dilbert strip ever penned, it would pay off one day.

Nostalgia (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616240)

That is some old-school Dilbert. In the 90s, when comic outlines were wigglier (cf Dr. Katz), and Alice's hair was less triangular.

Documentation (1)

drumcat (1659893) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616292)

We should all aspire to such clean and complete documentation. This is a 5-star effort.

Could be worse... (2)

benjamindees (441808) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616302)

At least they let the French write the dress code instead of the Germans. I'd rather see co-workers wearing black socks with tennis shoes than socks and sandals.

Re:Could be worse... (1)

BisexualPuppy (914772) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617706)

Swiss is not France (even if the document is in french).

Mad. Ave and Silicon Valley dress codes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616386)

In order to leave the proper impression for clients, customers and investors, employees in creative and R&D departments should be careful not to dress like this [letemps.ch] .

John Lennon: Crippled Inside (1)

wehe (135130) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616394)

John Lennon has made an interesting song about this behaviour: "You can wear a collar and a tie, one thing you can't hide, is when you're crippled inside".

Re:John Lennon: Crippled Inside (1)

JockTroll (996521) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617298)

Blessed be Mark David Chapman.

Did not RTFA, but... (1)

The_REAL_DZA (731082) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616398)

In true /. spirit I chose to not actually read the article, but just from Tasha26's synopsis I would tend to agree that one should avoid wearing garlic- or onion-based dishes to work.

Here's a quick breakdown of the code (1)

smooth wombat (796938) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616458)

The following highlights of the booklet are provided courtesy of The Vancouver Sun [vancourversun.com] :

The list [vancouversun.com] .

Re:Here's a quick breakdown of the code (1)

Geeky (90998) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617050)

WTF does the advice not to wear a tie "not adapted to the morphology of the face" mean?

Is this a mistranslation? How would I know if my tie was adapted to the morphology of my face?

Re:Here's a quick breakdown of the code (1)

theNAM666 (179776) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617738)

For those who won't want to follow a link:

Anthracite dark colors, black and dark blue symbolize competence, the formality and seriousness.

A flawless appearance can provide an inner peace and a sense of security.

By taking into account the fact that the first impression is a decisive factor, the Dresscode offers today was developed. This underlines the professionalism of our bank.

-----

Guidelines

These guidelines are intended for all employees and PKB compliance is mandatory. Senior executives are required to ensure and monitor compliance and ensure that Dresscode that staff display a neat appearance.

Guidelines for the Dresscode

  "UBS employees dresscode" is an integral part of the guidelines applicable to all PKB employees.

  Accessories from UBS shall under no circumstances be worn privately.

  Each employee is responsible for good behavior and cleaning his clothes.

  Obsolete UBS Accessories should be destroyed or discarded.

-----

The Dresscode for Women:

  Tailor plain or colored pantsuit, Anthracite dark, black or dark blue

  white blouse, preferably a shirt

  Accessories: nicky or scarf

  Closed shoes, black and classic

  Black Belt

The suit and pantsuit - Dresscode directive:

The classic business attire united color

Dark Charcoal, black or dark blue.

These pieces are very flattering, their cut is light and offer a high level of comfort. The resulting silhouette is elegant, slender and without any feeling of being cramped. The jacket must remain smooth, even when buttoned and should not be tightened. Skirts and pants are (both when seated or standing) to provide sufficient amplitude and be able to replace themselves.

The perfect skirt length is in the middle of the knee and may go down to two inches below the knee (measured from the middle of the knee).

Blouse

Dresscode directive:

The basic element of our collection of clothing: the plain white shirt with classic collar.

Tips and Advice

  The blouse is worn generally in the pants or the skirt and indentation should be adapted to the rest of Dress-code (a few inches below the collarbone).

  Wear -colored belo underwear below the white blouses. In addition, we recommend if possible not to conceal the neck. Traces of make-up on collars are bad.

  In general, a blouse is worn with a jacket. When it very hot, and after validation of your superior, you can wear the shirt without a jacket.

General dresscode directive:

You are responsible for the proper maintenance and cleaning of your clothes.

Tips and Advice

  Leave, if possible, your outfit suspended in open air for two days after wearing. The fibers will gain rest and you will prolong the life span of your clothes.

  Pants and skirts should be ironed regularly. Steam and folds pants regularly.

  Be sure to regularly bring your clothes to the dry cleaners so they benefit from a professional cleaning.

------

The Dresscode for Men:

  Two-piece suit of anthracite dark, black or dark blue

  White long sleeve shirt

  Accessories, UBS tie

  Black shoes

  Black Belt

The shirt

At the neck, the shirt must be of sufficient magnitude to leave a space of at least one finger... The neck shirts must exceed approximately about 1 to 1.5 centimeter above the jacket collar...

The tips of the shirt collars must meet the area under the lapel.

Wearing short-sleeved shirts... is undesirable.

Ties - Dresscode directive:

Wearing a tie is absolutely imperative.

  Each time you remove your suit, untie your Tie and hang or wrap it. Give your tie at least one day of rest before reuse so that the fabric and lining can rest.

  Do not wash, nor ever iron your ties yourself.

-----

Check your look!

Our external appearance serves as nonverbal communication and speaks volumes about our personality... Check your look before "to enter the party" to avoid the worst mistakes.

Don’ts:

Don't wear the tie if it's:

  Too short or too long

  Not suitable for the shirt

  Not adapted to the morphology of the face

Jewelry - don't wear if:

  Jewelry disproportionate size and quantity

  bracelets for men

  Piercings and visible tattoos

Hands - do not have:

  Dirty and badly maintained nails

  False nails and fancy colored nails

  rough or cracked skin

Hair - don't have:

  Dirty and not maintained hair

  Nape, not shaved (for short haircuts)

  Split Ends

The underwear - make sure underwear not visible through clothing / overflowing outside of regular clothes

obligatory Simpsons (1)

Drakkenmensch (1255800) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616460)

"A professional in a gorilla mask is still a professional."

43 pages (0)

blair1q (305137) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616490)

In French it's 43 pages. Translated to English it fits on a card you can hang from your badge lanyard.

Interesting reading (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616554)

Very interesting document on professional appearance.
I would not like to work in a firm that enforces such a dress code, but it contains some good tips to enhance your professional appearance.

Plain but classy, and balanced (3, Informative)

spaceyhackerlady (462530) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616618)

I've seen too many written dress codes where 99% of the don'ts apply only to women. This one is about 50/50 on what's right for both men and women. I like that it shows what's right, it's not just a shopping list of what's wrong. They want a plain but classy look. I could live with it if I worked there.

Me? I'm showing a bit of cleavage today, and, yes, my bra is showing. If it's going to show anyway, wear a nice one.

...laura

Re:Plain but classy, and balanced (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34616678)

Me? I'm showing a bit of cleavage today, and, yes, my bra is showing. If it's going to show anyway, wear a nice one.

Why tell us if you aren’t going to show us?

Re:Plain but classy, and balanced (3, Insightful)

Duradin (1261418) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616968)

Well men don't really have anywhere near the options women do in most dress codes (and men's clothes generally don't have clevage/cut/hemline issues) so it follows that most of the dress code would be about what the women can and can't do.

Re:Plain but classy, and balanced (5, Funny)

Geeky (90998) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616994)

Me? I'm showing a bit of cleavage today, and, yes, my bra is showing. If it's going to show anyway, wear
a nice one.

...laura

Pics or it didn't happen ;-)

For comparison (5, Interesting)

blair1q (305137) | more than 3 years ago | (#34616622)

The U.S. Army's guide to dressing up right is 362 pages [army.mil] .

And they have total control of the manufacture and issue of the clothes. They're not suffering all the randomness that the fashion and retail industries insert into civilian clothing choices.

Re:For comparison (1)

iammani (1392285) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617058)

It makes sense actually, people running the military are control freaks (not that its a bad thing). People running the banks, not so much (atleast I wouldnt expect them to be).

Re:For comparison (3, Informative)

JockTroll (996521) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617278)

People running the banks in Switzerland ARE in the military. The place has a militia army. Happened to be, once upon a time you couldn't make any career in the banking business if you weren't advancing in the Swiss Army.Things have gone downhill from the moment they stopped to enforce this unwritten rule.

Written in French?? (1)

bigpistol (1311191) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617156)

avoid garlic and onion-based dishes

Aaaah now I understand

tags: business idle bank dress fashion story (1)

human-cyborg (450395) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617386)

I'm a nerd, and this does not matter to me. Nor is it news. Nor is it that outlandish. I've seen phone bills longer than that, and with far less whitespace and fancy, full-paged graphics introducing each one-page section.

I don't care that this is idle. I just don't care.

Seriously, what the hell

Maybe I'm in the minority here... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34617398)

But I expect professionals in the business world to dress like professionals...not like your golfing buddy or a streetwalker...unless your golfing buddy also happens to be a streetwalker, but I digress...

Sorry, but... (4, Insightful)

lexidation (1825996) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617416)

dress codes are bullshit. Total bullshit. Go to a bank in Italy on a summer's day, for instance. You'll find the clerks are dressed way down from what you'd see in the US. No tie, open shirt collar. And you know what? You won't have any sense that they're "unprofessional". Whatever that means. Ride the train through Switzerland. A conductor with an earring may well greet you. He did me. And he did his work efficiently.

What I'm saying is that the whole "dress code" is largely US-centric. That's not to say there are no rules of dress -- I've had the pleasure of getting thrown out of a store right off the beach in the South of France for not wearing a shirt. But just as hard-working Europeans still feel justified in demanding 5 weeks of holiday and are less inclined to put in 60-hour weeks, they show up for work dressed neatly but not in the uniform that's demanded of their American counterparts. The thing that's amazing to me is that most people posting here clearly feel the uniform is justified. What do you care if the guy in the bank has a tie on or not? Why should any employer have that kind of power over you?

Re:Sorry, but... (1)

lexidation (1825996) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617660)

Oops, I guess this is sort of a new low in not reading TFA. In this case, even the fucking headline. Dress codes are a hot-button issue with me. I do think they're a much bigger deal back in the US than they are here. And even the Swiss -- at least the ones not working for that particular bank -- are less "uniformed" than you'd think. But the post was a bit odd. Mea culpa.

'don'ts' ? (1)

lullabud (679893) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617636)

What an apostrophical disaster. It's the apostrocalypse!

Page 42 is titled in English! (1)

140Mandak262Jamuna (970587) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617714)

The title is "Don't"

It is French? Go figure. I could not find a page titled "Do" neither.

Only Four-in-Hand, Windsor and DoubleW for ties? (1)

fantomas (94850) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617744)

I say chaps. Very good of you to offer instructions for Four-in-Hand, Windsor and Double Windsor for new johnnies who haven't a clue how to tie a tie but really, I am not sure I could work for a company that won't let me choose the far more elegant Prince Albert.

(to be fair the guide doesn't say other ways of tying a tie are prohibited)

My $$$ (1)

feufeu (1109929) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617786)

I, for one don't %&$! care about how the people who manage my money dress themselves, as long as it's something appropriate for public appearance with regards to place (as in country/culture) and common decency (yes, this is variable).

In fact, every time i see those overdressed goons in their ties and stuff i keep asking myself what they DON'T have and try to cover up with this clownesque outfit.. competence ?

have you ever been to switzerland? (1)

shadowrat (1069614) | more than 3 years ago | (#34617852)

The swiss love rules. everyplace i went in the interlocken area was loaded with signs telling you what you can't do. They ranged from fairly benign (and obvious) like, "No Euros Accepted", to the mildly inconvenient, "Men, do not urinate standing up."

Sure, it's a stereotype, but every time i hear about the swiss and their rules i chuckle a little bit. I also think about how incredibly gorgeous Switzerland was and i'd like to go back.

Re:have you ever been to switzerland? (1)

Anne Thwacks (531696) | more than 3 years ago | (#34618088)

Not much crime in Switzerland because "Im der Schweitz das Crime ist verboten!"
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