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Apple's $1 Billion Data Center Mystery

CmdrTaco posted more than 3 years ago | from the it's-just-a-fruit-stand dept.

Apple 244

1sockchuck writes "One of year's most tantalizing technology secrets involves Apple's $1 billion investment in a new data center in North Carolina. Is it the Death Star in Apple's plan for galactic domination? Some Apple watchers predict it will be the hub for a 21st century broadcasting network. Other enthusiasts are doing flyovers to film videos of the 500,000 square foot facility. There's also an unofficial FAQ about the new data center. What is Apple up to with this huge facility?"

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244 comments

Cloud (-1)

devxo (1963088) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688706)

Apple has already started moving to cloud based services, so most likely the data center will be for those. It will also mean that the future iPhones, iPads and Mac computers will be even more locked down than previously. For example if you take a picture, it's directly uploaded "to the cloud". This is a huge privacy violation and means you don't really own your data anymore. It's almost funny who is alone in still giving you the change to own your data. Google, Apple and BlackBerry all want to move as much data and information as possible out of your devices, while the only phone models still giving privacy and ownership over your data is Windows Phone 7 phones. Seriously, look at how the things are going - it's not good. And the only reason the bad guys look like good guys now is that they have masked themself. Apple has it's cool and hippy image going, Google is catching geeks because it's supposedly open source (even while you can't even build Android for your phones) and BlackBerry is for businesses. Microsoft is the only one giving you choice, but on slashdot they're supposedly always the bad guy.

Re:Cloud (5, Insightful)

Punchcardz (598335) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688780)

Odd that the only device that automatically sent images to a locked down cloud was the Microsoft Kin. I think you are rocking some tinfoil there.

Re:Cloud (0)

Dexter Herbivore (1322345) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688912)

You have seen the new Google netbooks... haven't you?

Re:Cloud (2)

Enderandrew (866215) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689522)

When they first announced Chrome, they also showed saving a file to a thumb drive. The Cr-48 netbooks don't support that in beta, but I assume it will by launch. And while your data is online, you choose which web services to use. And those services aren't necessarily locked.

Re:Cloud (5, Funny)

chris462 (656034) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688850)

It will also mean that the future iPhones, iPads and Mac computers will be even more locked down than previously. For example if you take a picture, it's directly uploaded "to the cloud". This is a huge privacy violation and means you don't really own your data anymore.

What in the hell are you talking about?

Re:Cloud (1)

Senes (928228) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688906)

Microsoft has had every opportunity to establish themselves as the Robin Hood of the group who charges into battle with the vendors to protect the users.

Microsoft's own market dominance is built on giving the vendors everything they want, as well as restricting the users' ability to break away from MS products. It's not about whether you choose Windows or an alternative, it's whether you can swim hard enough to beat the current that drags you down to Windows. I don't mean to hop on some bandwagon of hatred here, but don't expect MS to be the hero for the little guy in the face of this mass corporate takeover.

Re:Cloud (3, Insightful)

Kantara (246758) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688996)

Microsoft is the only one giving you choice, but on slashdot they're supposedly always the bad guy.

You haven't been watch television lately have you. If you were, you'd see the Microsoft 'To the Cloud' [youtube.com] commercials [youtube.com] ad [youtube.com] nauseam [youtube.com] . They are right there with all the others wanting the same thing. To the 'Mainframe' with all of them.

Re:Cloud (1)

aliquis (678370) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689026)

What I wanted to say to. Well, the cloud stuff, haven't RTFP ;)

If MobileMe or whatever it's called has tough us anything it's that Apples cloud stuff suck. If it's going to be expensive and locked in just for the sake of locking in I'm not going. Though I wouldn't buy the freaking Apple device to begin with..

May I assume that a Google tablet cloud service would be free of charge? ..

Re:Cloud (5, Insightful)

iluvcapra (782887) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689162)

MobileMe is "expensive" (by which we mean $99 a year) precisely because it has no ads and doesn't vend your personal information to third parties. You can't have it both ways-- you either go Google and get your cloud for free with ads and metrics, or you actually pay money for your service.

Re:Cloud (1)

aliquis (678370) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689304)

Or I could had got the option to upload my pictures with javascript and all (and eventually database if needed but I doubt it is) to any web server I want (I think you can upload from iWeb to anything? Not necessary MobileMe?), and they could had let me connect to someone else desktop remotely by IP. And so on.

I don't know how "bad" it is, and some things may have improved. I have never had MobileMe or whatever it was called before (.mac?) and only have a somewhat older version of iLife.

I know there was a guide for how to set up a FreeBSD server as a .mac account but I don't think it has been updated for long. Would much rather had run something such myself with e-mail, jabber, web-hosting, backup, whatever. Eventually for others to and eventually for free (not with backup.)

IMHO 99 dollars was expensive. And considering how much Apple machines cost + what iLife cost I think they could had offered it for free as an "Apple advantage", like "Hey, I've got a mac and you get this free account where you can host your pictures, web pages and so on with it!" instead of charging what IMHO is an over-price making it much less of an advantage and rather a disadvantage because it's _NEEDED_ for some things it shouldn't be needed for.

Others opinions may vary.

Macs with free MobileMe would had made macs something more than just regular computers.

Re:Cloud (2)

99BottlesOfBeerInMyF (813746) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689494)

Or I could had got the option to upload my pictures with javascript and all (and eventually database if needed but I doubt it is) to any web server I want (I think you can upload from iWeb to anything? Not necessary MobileMe?)

You can upload to anything you want using iWeb, whether it is just to a directory or using FTP to a remote Web server anywhere.

I know there was a guide for how to set up a FreeBSD server as a .mac account but I don't think it has been updated for long.

I don't understand why you would do this. What is the benefit over using services not posing as Apple's service?

IMHO 99 dollars was expensive. And considering how much Apple machines cost + what iLife cost I think they could had offered it for free as an "Apple advantage"...

I agree, but then neither of us has access to the numbers. I think they'd be better off trying to include it as an expense that drives hardware adoption and it would be a lot more popular and become more of a differentiator as well as giving Apple leverage when they wanted interoperability with other Web services (ala, we have tens of millions of users on our service, want to seamlessly connect to them Facebook?).

...it's _NEEDED_ for some things it shouldn't be needed for.

What?

Re:Cloud (0)

poetmatt (793785) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689458)

or you stay the hell away from anything cloud and just wait for it to change buzzwords again, and save yourself ~$500 (at $99/year)

there are lot of other solutions, people are just too lazy or not tech savvy enough to do them.

Re:Cloud (1, Flamebait)

nxtw (866177) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689688)

there are lot of other solutions, people are just too lazy or not tech savvy enough to do them.

So everyone on Slashdot who doesn't run their own mail server (at significant expense either in time or buying pre-integrated software) is too lazy?

Get a life.

Re:Cloud (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689496)

Or you use Ubuntu One, where the name of the service *is* the advertising. 2GB free, Android and iOS clients, Mac and Windows clients coming soon.

Re:Cloud (1)

99BottlesOfBeerInMyF (813746) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689504)

You can't have it both ways-- you either go Google and get your cloud for free with ads and metrics, or you actually pay money for your service.

Or a very profitable company pays for it for free but ties it to their hardware offerings in the hopes that it will drive sales of that hardware.

Re:Cloud (1)

h4rr4r (612664) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689842)

You don't think apple makes any money from all that info? You don't think they use it for anything?

You must be kidding.

Re:Cloud (1)

Ephemeriis (315124) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689710)

If MobileMe or whatever it's called has tough us anything it's that Apples cloud stuff suck. If it's going to be expensive and locked in just for the sake of locking in I'm not going. Though I wouldn't buy the freaking Apple device to begin with..

I don't know that I'd call MobileMe expensive... It's only about $100/year. That's less than I'm paying for my WoW account.

And I don't know that I'd call it especially locked-in either. Granted, it's designed by Apple for Apple devices... But there's also a Windows install and a web client.

May I assume that a Google tablet cloud service would be free of charge? ..

Well, it'd probably be free of charge... But it'll likely be supported by ads. Which plenty of people will object to. Especially since Google will be scraping your email for context to generate that advertising.

And it'll likely be just as "locked in" as MobileMe is.

Re:Cloud (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689112)

The rampant, baseless speculation stated as fact in this post actually sickens me. Even on Slashdot, I'm not sure I've ever seen anything this bad. Please, stop posting.

And no, I don't give a fuck if you're pro Microsoft and anti Apple, you're just a horrible human being and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Um how is Apple bad? (1)

arcite (661011) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689246)

The Apps that you install on an idevice are not made by Apple and they all come with user agreements when you install them (not that anyone reads them).

Does Apple give the pretence of privacy? If you only used the default Apps that came with the iPhone, you would probably be at little risk of losing your personal data (excluding the included Google apps of course).

IMO I think Apple has always cared about user's security, just look at how secure Mac OS X is --- sure there are exploits, but it's nothing like what the typical windows user faces.

TIMO the greater danger is the loss of Net Nutrality under the pretence of anti-terrorism measures around the world. Even Blackberry had to beg on their knees to foreign governments to allow them to keep operating if they gave them access to their data.

IMO I'm serious about my Identity - I have no Facebook or Twitter, and use aliases and bogus info for all my login accounts.

Re:Cloud - Microsoft did it . . . twice already (2)

fuzzylollipop (851039) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689696)

You are really mis-informed, Microsoft bought Danger, who owns the Sidekicks, they never had local storage, guess where your pictures and information went? Yep to "the cloud" before that was a term. And the sidekick defined "locked down". And guess who lost every sidekick owners data all at once? Yep Microsoft! Guess how much local storage the Microsoft Kin had, yep ZERO, it got uploaded to "the cloud", for the very brief time it was on sale, guess why? The bat shit insane prices they were charging for data rates on the Kin, so it made it useless without a data plan! For them to own your data in a locked down server storage as well.

Re:Cloud (1)

h4rr4r (612664) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689812)

You can build android for your own phone, how do you think Cyanogenmod and other roms are built?

Some of the drivers are closed, but even those are being opened or replaced.

Re:Cloud (1)

Low Ranked Craig (1327799) | more than 3 years ago | (#34690000)

Only one giving you a choice

Wild speculation on your part

I've got an iPhone and a Mac, and not one byte of my data is stored anywhere near Google's or Apple's servers. I see no indications that I will be forced to store my data on Apple's servers anytime in the future. I'm sure I will be able to, but I'm currently confident that I will have the choice. On the other hand the copy of MS Office I just installed REQUIRED me to register the software on line with Microsoft...

My immediate suggestion would be to put down the kool-aid

Quote (1, Funny)

Dexter Herbivore (1322345) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688728)

Other enthusiasts are doing flyovers to film videos of the 500,000 square foot facility.

Jesus Christ on a crutch... is there anything Apple fanbois *won't* do?

Re:Quote (5, Funny)

halcyon1234 (834388) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688784)

Other enthusiasts are doing flyovers to film videos of the 500,000 square foot facility.

Jesus Christ on a crutch... is there anything Apple fanbois *won't* do?

Calm and measured reactions to rumors?

Re:Quote (-1)

Dexter Herbivore (1322345) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688846)

Yes, because as a fan a sane reaction to a report is arranging a flyover and aerial photography of the site involved... really it is, please keep telling yourself that.

Re:Quote (-1)

Dexter Herbivore (1322345) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688900)

In fact... I've heard that Apple may be doing something at this site [wikipedia.org] and this one [wikipedia.org] . Why don't you join with some other fans and arrange some videos of both of these sites also?

Re:Quote (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689534)

I think he meant "calm and measured reactions to rumors" is something Apple fanbois won't do. But your reaction was not calm and measured either.

Re:Quote (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689098)

Yes, because as a fan a sane reaction to a report is arranging a flyover and aerial photography of the site involved... really it is, please keep telling yourself that.

You may want to re-read the post you're replying to. He's suggesting that the one thing Apple fanbois will NOT do is a sane and measured reaction to rumors, insinuating that a flyover (their reaction to a rumor) is neither sane nor measured.

Re:Quote (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689230)

You fail at reading comprehension.

Re:Quote (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34688890)

Date someone outside their "religion".

Re:Quote (5, Informative)

TimHunter (174406) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688948)

I know it's always tempting (and easy) to fire off a quick anti-Apple slam, but...Jesus Christ on a crutch...couldn't you take a minute to learn the source of the video? It took me 10 seconds to find out that it was made by a local real estate agent. Somebody who quite probably has a financial interest in learning more about a billion-dollar Apple data center being built in his town. Hardly an "Apple fanboi."

Re:Quote (1)

Pharmboy (216950) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689046)

Please keep your facts out their speculation and karma whoring ;) Personally, I'm glad to see them build the data center, but then again, I live nearby and just happy to see the jobs. I wouldn't care if it was Google, Apple, IBM or Yahoo doing the building. We still have over 10% statewide unemployment here.

Re:Quote (1)

dr2chase (653338) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689540)

Can't a real estate agent also be an Apple fanboi? Think of the usefulness of an iPad for that sort of work.

Top Ten Things Fanbois WON'T do (1, Troll)

spun (1352) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689340)

is there anything Apple fanbois *won't* do?

Ah, a challenge! Let me think, what won't apple fanbois do?

My top ten list of things apple fanbois won't do:

10) Mix plaid and polka dots.
9) Take a calculus class
8) Pay too much for that muffler.
7) Pay anything for that music.
6) Drink fucking Merlot.
5) Listen to Country and Western music in a non-ironic way.
4) Move to a flyover state.
3) Charge a reasonable rate for their "Graphic Design" skills
2) Tip a waiter

And the number one thing apple fanbois won't do?
1) Date a member of the opposite sex.

Badump-CHA! Thank you, I'll be veal all night, and be sure to try the waitress.

Bad Analogy? (3, Funny)

Nocuous (1567933) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688778)

Is the Death Star really the technology to which you want to compare this data center? How well did that work out for the empire?

Personally, I think it's the computational center for Steve's worldwide reality distortion field. You need to really crunch the data to figure out how to bend people to your will.

Re:Bad Analogy? (5, Funny)

Amorymeltzer (1213818) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688994)

Apple has better people working for them, though. I mean, as far as design flaws go, "sometimes left-handed folks get dropped calls" is a lot better than "womprat-sized hole that automatically destroys entire facility when fired into." If Apple built the Death Star, the Rebels would have been defeated but Vader couldn't have called the Emperor to tell him about it.

Re:Bad Analogy? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689262)

Ohh noes, that darn skywalker kid is jailbreaking the death star.

Centrifuges (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34688802)

Obviously this facility will house the thousands of centrifuges necessary to purify enough U-235 to implement the final phase of Operation Apple Core Takeover.

Re:Centrifuges (1)

vlm (69642) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688998)

Obviously this facility will house the thousands of centrifuges necessary to purify enough U-235 to implement the final phase of Operation Apple Core Takeover.

The iReactor, now thinner, lighter, and shinier than ever!

Re:Centrifuges (1)

MightyMartian (840721) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689380)

Looks to me like they just need larger digs to hold Steve Jobs' massive ego. At the rate it's growing, in ten years Apple will have to buy a continent.

Re:Centrifuges (1)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689546)

While I have no doubt Apple loves having the thinnest CEO in the industry, unless this facility is a grandiose brain-in-a-vat life support system or a breakthrough AI research institute, 'ol Steve probably won't have an ego to worry about in 10 years...

Data stores and servers (0)

commodore64_love (1445365) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688856)

manned by a 100 or so employees.
The end. No great mystery.

Re:Data stores and servers (0)

commodore64_love (1445365) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689422)

In fact /. had a news article about a month ago that SAID that was what it was for.

Re:Data stores and servers (1)

hedwards (940851) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689674)

But that's less fun than suggesting that it is for Steve Jobs' ego, his collection of black turtle necks or a place for them to store the children they source their tears from. You didn't honestly think that anything could be that shiny without child tears, did you?

Re:Data stores and servers (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689912)

Really, they said it was for Data stores and servers? That's fucking brilliant. Although maybe the speculation is based around what those servers will be running.

God you're fucking stupid. Every time you post I want to punch you in the face.

The real reason (5, Funny)

SpinyNorman (33776) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688868)

They're trying to build a simulator for Steve Jobs ego before he kicks the bucket.

Re:The real reason (1)

alvieboy (61292) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689180)

How in hell would computers be able to do *that* ?

Better sequencing every living being's ADN.

Unless, of course, that simulator is written in Flash. I think we can manage do do that in flash, no ?

Re:The real reason (2)

wowbagger (69688) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689502)

"Better sequencing every living being's ADN"

Do too much LDS in the sixties?

Re:The real reason (1)

ElKry (1544795) | more than 3 years ago | (#34690014)

ADN is the Spanish-language initialism for DNA, maybe he's planning on only mapping the hispanic genetic heritage?

Secret video of center's interior (5, Funny)

RevWaldo (1186281) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688880)

The center's purpose isn't clear, but it apparently sports many catwalks, large video displays, and exercise facilities.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYecfV3ubP8 [youtube.com]

.

Forecast: Clouds (1)

digitaldc (879047) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688898)

It's 'The Cloud' that everyone is talking about.

No, not really. They just bought some acreage to grow Macintosh, of course. Apple is officially going in to the juice business.

I just do not understand... (4, Funny)

bjk002 (757977) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689446)

why they need to build such a huge building to hold a cloud. Surely they could have condensed it?

Re:I just do not understand... (1)

chemicaldave (1776600) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689736)

Condensing a cloud would precipitate many issues associated with large data centers, especially in the high-pressure system that Apple employees work in.

Such a mystery (1)

boristdog (133725) | more than 3 years ago | (#34688904)

I mean, what could a large tech company want with a huge data center?

The mind just boggles at the thought of a huge company that has and uses an enormous amount of data actually wanting a place for it.

Next you'll tell me that Microsoft has huge data centers.

Apple's going to change computing for the masses (0, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34688938)

For a long time, the Wintel monopoly ruled the roost, and people suffered under it with malware, spyware, bloatware, unneeded complexity, and so on.

For the first time probably in the history of personal computing, we have a chance at a better world now. By vetting applications in the app store, Apple has created a situation where people no longer have to live in a world where there machine is pwned by malware. Getting apps from the app store is a very good (not perfect, but very good) way to ensure a minimum level of safety. Consumers are flocking to it by the millions, and it's starting to worry the Wintel side of the world. They're losing relevance as commodity PCs become less and less important to modern computing, and iPad type devices running ARM processors and iOS operating systems become more important.

It's the start of the first major change in personal computing since the 1980's. It's an exciting time to watch what happens: the Wintel monopoly is going to go away before long. Most slashdotters should appreciate that, given the hate spewed towards Microsoft over the years. They're at the end of their line now, and they know it.

Re:Apple's going to change computing for the masse (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689018)

The problem that makes Windows a virus hell isn't that you can run whatever you want, it's that other people can run whatever they want on your PC without your explicit permission. The solution isn't corporate lockdown in which you need Apple's permission to load stuff, it's personal lockdown in which it takes more than a hidden PDF to recruit you into a botnet or install a fake 'antivirus' program.

Re:Apple's going to change computing for the masse (1)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689592)

Man, there is irony so thick you can take a knife to it: Somebody, with an apparently straight face, has actually just said that Apple's Information Purification Directives will create for the first time in all history, a garden of pure ideology. Where each worker may bloom secure from the pests of contradictory and confusing truths...

Re:Apple's going to change computing for the masse (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689860)

> a garden of pure ideology.

Paranoid much?

The reason people are moving to Apple in droves is because they are tired of Windows malware. When they install apps from the app store, they have a basic measure of trust that what they install won't put their PC on a botnet or spew spam out to the world. Apple actually takes steps to keep them safe, unlike Windows. That's a strong selling point for most people.

That's why iOS is taking off and iPads are the hot gift this Christmas.

Only $1 Billion Dollars? (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34688966)

That would be like 4 Macbook Pros, 6 of their servers and the rest on an all white building.

Not a Data Center at all (1)

l0ungeb0y (442022) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689028)

Steve Jobs is using it as a warehouse to store his massive shuriken collection. As you recall, he threw an enormous shit fit when Tokyo airport security wouldn't allow him to board his own private jet with a couple particularly rare specimens.

His raging tantrum over a couple throwing stars doesn't seem so childish now does it?

Dirt Racin' Track? (1)

vlm (69642) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689048)

In the unofficial FAQ, is that a dirt racin' track in the background of the picture?

After a few decades in the telecom industry, I've seen remote pops having all kinds of crazy neighbors. It kind of makes sense, its not as if a bunch of hardware would contain about the noise, and most of the time, there would certainly be plenty of parking... Not many other facilities would want to locate next to a racetrack, beyond the obvious tow truck, autoparts and hotel types.

High Cost is E A S Y (1)

redelm (54142) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689072)

The high cost is easy to explain -- they're going to fill it with Apple Macs rather than normal 1U servers. 10x cost -- after all, they _ARE_ Apple :)

Not even that. (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689464)

The high cost is easy to explain -- they're going to fill it with Apple Macs rather than normal 1U servers. 10x cost -- after all, they _ARE_ Apple :)

Actually, it's even easier than that: since Apple doesn't make servers anymore, it'll be filling the center with Oracle/Sun hardware.

Really.

(Yup, there is stuff even more expensive than a rackfull of Apple desktops.)

Re:High Cost is E A S Y (1)

onefriedrice (1171917) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689920)

The high cost is easy to explain -- they're going to fill it with Apple Macs rather than normal 1U servers. 10x cost -- after all, they _ARE_ Apple :)

Actually, Macs probably don't cost Apple very much at all...

So what's the secret? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689082)

Big technology company builds big datacenter.

Without having ever seen it, I'll tell you what it's for. It'll be hosting Apple's iTunes digital media store and MobileMe cloud service, as well as any other internet services Apple rolls out in the future. Any questions?

Similarly, when Google builds a new datacenter, it'll house servers that power Search, Gmail, Google Apps, YouTube, and other services Google rolls out in the future. When Microsoft builds a new datacenter, it'll be for Windows Update, Bing, Windows Live, etc. etc. Åny more questions?

I know (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689158)

They will be using IBM servers. Also no environmentaly friendly power generation yet.

Listed but not yet seen on Google Maps (2)

Quantus347 (1220456) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689186)

You can't see it yet on Google Maps yet, but the Data Center is listed as located at 45.725613, -113.622258, or at 6081 Startown Road, Newton, NC 28658

A little OT but... (1)

Rooked_One (591287) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689280)

what's google doing building a huge facility in Pryor Oklahoma? So they will have 3 huge facilities soon... West coast, east coast (Manhattan) and midwest... Maybe apple has paid for some lessons...

Given who we're talking about (5, Funny)

ThatsNotPudding (1045640) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689298)

this is obviously the Royal Tomb.

Apple employees: I have some distressing news about the company Retirement Plan...

Let me tell you.... (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689328)

Apple has been working on some new technology... They did not hav ethe space for it so they bought a large warehouse. they worked night and day on it and finally in September of 2011 they were ready and turned it on.. It was the greates computer ever built... but within moments things went wrong. It became sentient and started asking questions and taking control. Only after they gave it the URL to 4chan did it stop doing anything.

"It just stopped", said head researcher Bill Ginamous. "It just stopped and sits there consuming about 8 bonded OC3 data pipes worth of data 24/7. we have no idea what is happening, we cant turn it off, it will not respond."

Congress will be meeting later today to discuss what steps need to be taken next.

The real question: (3, Interesting)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689336)

Now that they've taken the Xserve out back and given it the 'ol' yeller treatment', what exactly is humming away in that fancy new datacenter of theirs?

Are they actually taking their own risible advice, and packing the place floor-to-ceiling with the "3 mac-pros-per-12U-shelf-what-is-this-'LOM Card'-you-speak-of?" server configuration?

Will this facility be the world's largest collection of hackentoshes? Is this going to be the most humiliating "Get The Facts" microsoft ever gets to do? Will somebody actualy be running Darwin for reasons other than perverse experimentation?

Re:The real question: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689684)

Now that they've taken the Xserve out back and given it the 'ol' yeller treatment', what exactly is humming away in that fancy new datacenter of theirs?

SUNs, like Apple has always used for servers

It's obvious (1)

dave562 (969951) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689406)

Apple is trying to construct a structure large enough to contain Steve Jobs' ego. I predict failure.

Decoy (1)

ArhcAngel (247594) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689526)

Heh, they have everyone snookered into trying to figure this place out so they won't be trying to get the inside scoop on the latest iPad/iPhone/iwhatever device update. They also have all of the Apple engineers sequestered until July.

Not a data center (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#34689784)

Actually it's a prison camp. After Gitmo is closed he's going to have all the prisoners shipped to NC where they will be kept alive for one purpose: to provide replacement livers and pancreases for Steve to keep his HIV at bay [wordpress.com] and produce more Apple products with increasingly more draconian DRM schema.

You guys and your delusions of grandeur (1)

Matey-O (518004) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689790)

Do you guys think iTunes downloads, Genius calculations, MobileMe, AppStores, GameCenter and whatnot all just exist for free? I wouldn't be half surprised if the datacenter wasn't, at least partially, to consolidate existing stuff.

The End Is Near! (1)

glapalom (522301) | more than 3 years ago | (#34689830)

Its what I have been telling everyone all along. Skynet. Why won't anyone listen to me? It's the beginning of the end! Bleached white skulls! All of us!
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