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Smile Efficiently With the Emoticon Keyboard

samzenpus posted more than 3 years ago | from the omg-ponies dept.

Idle 123

If the strain of constantly typing emoticons is killing your fingers, and you've been reprimanded at work for typing :-( when you meant :-) the Emoticon Keyboard may be the answer to your prayers. The tiny keyboard connects via USB and ensures you'll never type the wrong emotion again. The only flaw I see is the lack of a giant LOL key.

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Psst (4, Insightful)

The MAZZTer (911996) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009744)

It's sideways.

Re:Psst (2)

h00manist (800926) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009942)

It's sideways.

It's a feature. They meant to make it easier to read. Now, is this an actual product or joke? You never know. I think it's really just meant as an autorun patch on your keyboard drivers.

How (4, Interesting)

Nimloth (704789) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010076)

How does this prevent me from typing :-( instead of :-)? Is it impossible to hit to wrong key on this keypad?

Re:How (1)

TheThiefMaster (992038) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010238)

They're even still right next to each other!

Re:How (1)

M8e (1008767) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010620)

Bad design. )-:

Re:Psst (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010312)

Rotate it!

Re:Psst (1)

ModernGeek (601932) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010366)

Then turn it the other way.

Re:Psst (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010744)

It's sideways.

That's ok..just turn your head accordingly.

No Emoticon (2)

delinear (991444) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009778)

Oblig. "There is no emoticon for how I feel right now."

Re:No Emoticon (1)

Quirkz (1206400) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010878)

I would have said :-/ was pretty close. And that doesn't appear to be on that keyboard.

Here's what you want . . . (1)

Mitchell314 (1576581) | more than 3 years ago | (#35012148)

4*~)

Is it compatible with Call of Duty? (2)

Fibe-Piper (1879824) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009790)

Imagine all the frowns you could trash your opponents with!!!

Re:Is it compatible with Call of Duty? (4, Funny)

imakemusic (1164993) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010872)

Epic fr0wnage.

Next step... (1, Funny)

Lose (1901896) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009816)

Emoticon Keyboard: 4chan Edition!

Adds options for "DESU," "op is a fag," and "sauce." Also offers modifiable buttons and built in LOIC launch button. Granted, these aren't really emoticons, but a whole lot better.

Re:Next step... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010218)

Don't forget the "sage" button, and the critically important "TITS OR GTFO" key.

LOL Key (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35009820)

Just replace the period with a LOL key LOL

It seems to the new way to end a pointless comment post these days LOL

Re:LOL Key (2)

An ominous Cow art (320322) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010250)

I read comments, posts, chat messages, emails, etc. until I come to the first "lol", or 'chatsp33k' thing, then just skip the rest.

Re:LOL Key (1)

morgauxo (974071) | more than 3 years ago | (#35011150)

then how did you get this far down?

Re:LOL Key (1)

An ominous Cow art (320322) | more than 3 years ago | (#35013162)

This applies on a per-comment basis :-).

Re:LOL Key (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35011864)

In this case "lol" stands for "loss of logic"

Re:LOL Key (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010382)

How did this get an Insightful mod??

LOL isn't even a fucking emoticon. It's an acronym.

There you dumb fucking mods go again. Proving that the average slashdotter is smarter than average.

Re:LOL Key (1)

jason.sweet (1272826) | more than 3 years ago | (#35011548)

Don't be a 8====0

Re:LOL Key (1)

DocSavage64109 (799754) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010636)

HmmLOL That's not a bad ideaLOL Though you should probably add a space before the LOLLOL

Re:LOL Key (1)

WaroDaBeast (1211048) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010902)

Got a relative who does that — annoying as hell. When asked if he's constantly laughing, his reply was, "Sure."

Tss.

Re:LOL Key (1)

WaroDaBeast (1211048) | more than 3 years ago | (#35011786)

Wrong tense, I know. Bleh.

Re:LOL Key (1)

adamdoyle (1665063) | more than 3 years ago | (#35012554)

When [he was] asked if he is constantly laughing, his reply was, "Sure."

The "he was" could be understood. You used "was asked" and "reply was." Seems legit to me. (granted you could replace "he was" with "he is" and then you would've been wrong, but the way above is correct)

Re:LOL Key (1)

adamdoyle (1665063) | more than 3 years ago | (#35012572)

Although I do think

his reply was, "Sure."

is a comma splice.

gcc isn't happy :( (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35011008)

I just did that, and now my code won't compile :(
error: ‘aLOLpush_back’ was not declared in this scope

Re:gcc isn't happy :( (1)

Mitchell314 (1576581) | more than 3 years ago | (#35012170)

#define lol .

Re:gcc isn't happy :( (1)

GameboyRMH (1153867) | more than 3 years ago | (#35012716)

#include lib_lulz

Getting Stabby (2)

TheBabich (1979526) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009838)

This device reminds me of that top 10 quote over at bash. I want to stab someone over the internet for making this. However I have taken the time to create an installation manual to go be shipped with the device: 1) Place your computer back in box. 2) Return to POS.

Re:Getting Stabby (1)

PatPending (953482) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009882)

I'm reminded of another quote: "Oh, no, I can't unsee this!"

Re:Getting Stabby (1)

DocSavage64109 (799754) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010686)

: (

Do you need a *hug*?

Gaming (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35009842)

It could be useful for RTS, the buttons could be programmed to match the buttons as they appear on the screen (the buttons on the bottom right on the screen).
Of course, you'd have to put stickers on the keys. And you'd still lack the groups keys.

Keyboard replacement (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35009850)

A keyboard to replace, a keyboard. Novel.

Re:Keyboard replacement (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35009910)

Agree, this is completely retarded. About the only use I can think of for it is for having another keybank for abilities in WoW, though I wouldn't be surprised if it used some complex piece of buggy driver software to decode some proprietary communication protocol which rendered it useless for anything other than it's shitty purpose.

Re:Keyboard replacement (1)

hvm2hvm (1208954) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010848)

Or it just sends the emoticon characters individual characters with a small delay.

Re: Smile Efficiently With the Emoticon Keyboard (1)

h00manist (800926) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009894)

No. I don't like smiling.

Re: Smile Efficiently With the Emoticon Keyboard (1)

Americano (920576) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010190)

Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays. :(

Re: Smile Efficiently With the Emoticon Keyboard (1)

Yvan256 (722131) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010742)

Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on monday and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like someone has a case of the mondays?"
Lawrence: No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked sayin' something like that, man.

Doesn't have them all (1)

Tomahawk (1343) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009904)

nor in the format that I use most. I typically type a smiley as :-)

But it only has :)

Which, personally, I don't like. Maybe it's configurable/programmable. In which case, the boss needs to take care he doesn't piss his programmers off...

Re:Doesn't have them all (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35011182)

Just be glad it even has :) and :(, and not their hyperactive bastard cousins ^_^ and >_< that the Kids Today(tm) seem to want to replace them with.

Re:Doesn't have them all (1)

GameboyRMH (1153867) | more than 3 years ago | (#35012788)

Those are all different smileys.

We're all familiar with the generic smiley or frownie, indicating generic happiness or unhappiness.

^_^ means cheeky happiness, or smitten by cuteness.

>_< means frustrated or angry.

ensures you'll never type the wrong emotion again? (1)

by (1706743) (1706744) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009926)

Rihgt, becuase wierd keybaords aer imune too tpyos?

Good project (1)

Dan East (318230) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009946)

This looks like a good college or hobbiest project using a microcontroller to practice simple USB HID design. Would be a good Science Fair project too if dad helped. Hmmmmm....

Macros (1)

undecim (1237470) | more than 3 years ago | (#35009958)

I couldn't really justify buying this... I could get a much more efficient emoticon keys with some simple macros, and never moving my hands from my proper keyboard.

Re:Macros (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010386)

and never move my hand from my crotch.

FTFY.

Yeah, except... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35009994)

... with all the graphical emoticons out there these days, it will still look wrong on most people's screens.

Missing the middle finger emoticon. (1)

olsmeister (1488789) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010000)

We need a Get Off of My Lawn version of this thing.

Re:Missing the middle finger emoticon. (1)

PatPending (953482) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010028)

Thanks. That would Make My Day.

Re:Missing the middle finger emoticon. (1)

GameboyRMH (1153867) | more than 3 years ago | (#35012840)

t(>_<t) - the angry finger

t(^_^t) - the "fuck you" finger

t(-_-t) - the sad finger

Copyrights (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010014)

I notice the posting infringes on not just one but two copyrights owned by the Emoticon Keyboard (tm)!

So, The Crutch for Bad Writers... (1)

RobotRunAmok (595286) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010026)

...has just been given more padding and legitimacy?

What's next, someone invents a way to post on Facebook with crayons?

Re:So, The Crutch for Bad Writers... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010204)

> ...has just been given more padding and legitimacy?

What do you mean? Emoticons have plenty of legitimacy already [U+1F638 GRINNING CAT FACE WITH SMILING EYES]

I am not a religious man... (1)

Stregano (1285764) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010030)

...but God help us all.

Inefficient design (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010034)

The :) and :( characters, arguably the most frequently used, are not on the home row. Think of all that extra finger movement. Your EPM (emoticon per minute) score will suffer as a result.

Nose (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010052)

I like my smileys with a nose. Can you configure that?

Re:Nose (1)

SuricouRaven (1897204) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010132)

And what about :> ? And /:> ? How are us avian furs supposed to be properly expressive without a beak?

Re:Nose (1)

Qzukk (229616) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010182)

And how will I show off my manly 'stache without :-{)?

Making laziness more efficient, or something else? (1)

Crudely_Indecent (739699) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010082)

Now people are too lazy to type emoticons, which are used by people who are too lazy to express their emotion with words.

Efficiency is one thing, but now laziness is more efficient? But how much more efficient can it be? Instead of typing two characters, you've got to take your hand off the keyboard, locate the specific emoticon button and press it, then return your hand to the keyboard.

Maybe it's not for efficient laziness, maybe it's for stupidity and lack of creativity. I remember when emoticons were emerging and seldom used - back in the BBS/pre-Internet days, back when people who used computers weren't stupid.

Re:Making laziness more efficient, or something el (4, Funny)

Americano (920576) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010282)

You know, you could have spared us the inefficiency of reading all of your ranting, and simply condensed what you had to say down to its crucial emoticon essence:
 
:'(

Re:Making laziness more efficient, or something el (3, Funny)

azgard (461476) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010342)

It wasn't on the keyboard.

Re:Making laziness more efficient, or something el (1)

ThatMegathronDude (1189203) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010736)

The appropriate condensation of his post is:

QQ

Re:Making laziness more efficient, or something el (2)

Yvan256 (722131) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010778)

What's the emoticon for the smallest violin in the world?

Re:Making laziness more efficient, or something el (1)

GameboyRMH (1153867) | more than 3 years ago | (#35012884)

#={=/=}

Best I can do.

Re:Making laziness more efficient, or something el (1)

Labcoat Samurai (1517479) | more than 3 years ago | (#35012546)

Now people are too lazy to type emoticons, which are used by people who are too lazy to express their emotion with words.

The same could be said of vocal intonation. People speaking to one another are far too lazy to speak in an inscrutable monotone and meticulously clarify the emotional context of every comment they make. (Note that this is meant sarcastically)

It's a tool to help bring text messaging into greater parity with spoken conversation. It's a *good* thing.

Nothing new (2)

a Flatbed Darkly (1964478) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010184)

Many phones with touchscreen keyboards have an emoticon keyboard along with the phone-style keypad and qwerty. Many simply with buttons have emoticons on autocomplete or under symbols options. This is simply an upscale. I can't find the source (TFA gives barely any details) but if this is a student project, I like. It would actually sell well. If this is a commercial product, oh god no. Yes, it will sell well, yes.

We need more keys (1)

dubsnipe (1822200) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010216)

How about a LOL, WTF, BFF, /b/ and OMG buttons while you're at it?

Re:We need more keys (1)

Yvan256 (722131) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010806)

And make sure the OMG, WTF and BBQ buttons are all on the same row, in that order.

Re:We need more keys (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010826)

ROFLMAO...

Hmm ... (1)

Stooshie (993666) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010234)

... it doesn't do (.)(.) or ()*()

Harumph

Re:Hmm ... (1)

ElectricTurtle (1171201) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010432)

More importantly, it doesn't in any way assist with efficiently creating ASCII phalli of various lengths. After all, some cases only require 8===D whereas other scenarios may necessitate 8==============D.

Re:Hmm ... (1)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010810)

You mean you haven't yet assigned keyboard macros for all possible lengths? What a wanker!

Re:Hmm ... (1)

GameboyRMH (1153867) | more than 3 years ago | (#35012926)

You could assign that to all one key. Hold length adjusts the length of the penis, and you finish with double taps to add jizz streams. So if you hold it for 1 second and then tap four times you get:

8===D~~

Re:Hmm ... (1)

ThatMegathronDude (1189203) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010764)

Stop hanging out with granny and do a proper ( . Y . )

You are not meant to buy this for yourself (1)

DNS-and-BIND (461968) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010260)

This product was not meant to be bought for people to use for themselves. This was meant to be bought as a gift for others! Think about it...the recipient opens the present, it's this LOL keyboard thing, everyone laughs, you get off the hook for buying something, and the thing gets discarded after two days of use because it's hogging a USB slot. TFA is slashdotted but if the price is $12-20 then it's prime gift category, because people will spend that much.

Re:You are not meant to buy this for yourself (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010522)

This product was not meant to be bought for people to use for themselves. This was meant to be bought as a gift for others! Think about it..

We have thought about it, and it's all thanks to you, Captain Obvious. Literal City owes you a debt of gratitude that we can never truly repay.

Re:You are not meant to buy this for yourself (1)

TBone (5692) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010546)

30 Euros, according to another page below, or ~$40. Yeah, not happening.

Which way is up? (1)

Kozz (7764) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010308)

If I rotate this emoticon keyboard 180 degrees, will it type (: instead of :) ? Grandma's gonna try that, you know. :P (or did I mean d: ?)

Squee (1)

Dzimas (547818) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010322)

LOL ROTFL *cough*

They got it all wrong (1)

jovius (974690) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010376)

I thought a button would light up to show me how to feel :(

Webcam emoticon (1)

Paspanique (1704404) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010470)

What we need is a webcam that reads your face expression and translates it into an emoticon, now that would be a marvelous time saver. Think I will go to the patent bureau right away and wait until someone implements it to cash in ! $-)

Re:Webcam emoticon (2)

tanujt (1909206) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010650)

What we need is a webcam that reads your face expression and translates it into an emoticon

I doubt anyone is really rolling on the floor laughing, when they claim so online.
The webcam-emoticon reader's most common output would be :-|

Re:Webcam emoticon (2)

Locke2005 (849178) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010776)

If you can type reasonably fast then the only time you would need it is when you're typing one-handed... and that's the time you'd be least likely to want other people to know what your facial expression looks like!

Re:Webcam emoticon (1)

Paspanique (1704404) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010958)

But I'd like to see the emoticon it generates though!

Re:Webcam emoticon (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35012624)

that's the time you'd be least likely to want other people to know what your facial expression looks like!

I think it would probably look a little something like:

8^O-|-- 8=====D~~~~~~~~~*

Meh (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010540)

This would be useful if they had the harder-to-type emoticons that use keys not already on your keyboard...especially the foreign ones.
          (^^)

See here for more info:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_emoticons (some are even triple lined, etc...)

I'm sure you can program more in....right?

Wow (1)

tanujt (1909206) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010586)

Talk about utterly pointless technology. If I post a smiley from this keyboard on to Facebook, will the comment have a tag underneath it saying "via Emoticon Keyboard"?

My Android virtual keyboard has a smiley button (1)

InlawBiker (1124825) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010656)

I use it to bug the shit out of people. There's nothing quite as irritating as a dozen smiley icons in a row.

Re:My Android virtual keyboard has a smiley button (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35012684)

whataboutifyoutypeallofyourmessageswithoutspaces?

What, no SHIFT-JIS? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35010722)

I'm a bit disappointed by the scope of this keyboard, particularly as Western emoticon culture and ASCII art is lagging sorely behind emoji and SHIFT-JIS.

Re:What, no SHIFT-JIS? (1)

Megane (129182) | more than 3 years ago | (#35011186)

I'm also disappointed... that Slashdot doesn't support Unicode characters. When that gets fixed, then you may have a point.

Taking lazyness to a whole new level... (1)

JustAnotherIdiot (1980292) | more than 3 years ago | (#35010756)

...because it's the American way!

golf balls + sharpie = NEW PRODUCT (1)

dieth (951868) | more than 3 years ago | (#35011442)

Well first off, this is not real.
The article even says it's a prototype. So it doesn't even work.

If you look close enough you realize it's 16 golf balls with emoticons drawn on with a Sharpy. If you don't believe compare the distance between the dots of the colons, and compare the two 8's.

Get back to use when it's a real product boys, not some half baked idea you got had while you were drunk and stoned.

Re:golf balls + sharpie = NEW PRODUCT (1)

treeves (963993) | more than 3 years ago | (#35012962)

If those are golf balls, then that laptop sitting next to it is freaking ginormous.

Um... really? (3, Insightful)

epp_b (944299) | more than 3 years ago | (#35011706)

Which is faster? Typing an emoticon by "muscle memory" on good ol' QWERTY or learning a new keypad layout with no real logic?

Sideways? (>.<) (1)

VortexCortex (1117377) | more than 3 years ago | (#35011724)

I deal with mostly ASCII text, and sideways give me a crick in the neck. (T_T)

Now, If they really wanted to impress me I would be able to print my own keycaps, and customize the scancodes the keys generate! (^_^)

Until then, that keypad, it's.. just...so.... (-_-) .zZZ

Still no answer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35012024)

to this [xkcd.com] question

:-) LOL (1)

mr1911 (1942298) | more than 3 years ago | (#35013028)

:-(
;-)
:-|
:D

The Emoticon Keyboard is the only keyboard I need. :-)
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