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Four Physicists Arrested After SSC Break-In

timothy posted about 3 years ago | from the if-not-for-you-pesky-non-kids dept.

Crime 49

An anonymous reader writes with a not-unexpected followup to one of the break-ins of the century, when a group of curious scientists decided to see what was left of the uncompleted giant collider project in East . From the article: "A team of four physicists was arrested this morning at the headquarters of the American Physical Society (APS) in College Park, MD. officers from the Department of Homeland Security entered the building around 8:30 a.m. and detained the suspects without . The group is charged with breaking and entering a secure government facility, destruction of government property, stealing national secrets and parking illegally."

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49 comments

I dont know why (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691294)

I even opened my browser today,

Actually they weren't arrest because they broke in (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691296)

It was because they broke out! They came through a functional SSC in another universe, and used the Einstein-Rosen bridge combined with a Quantum Leap Accelerator to cross into this universe.

Re:Actually they weren't arrest because they broke (1)

Sulphur (1548251) | about 3 years ago | (#35691658)

An anonymous reader writes with a not-unexpected followup to one of the break-ins of the century, when a group of curious scientists decided to see what was left of the uncompleted giant collider project in East Texas. From the article: "A team of four physicists was arrested this morning at the headquarters of the American Physical Society (APS) in College Park, MD. officers from the Department of Homeland Security entered the building around 8:30 a.m. and detained the suspects without . The group is charged with breaking and entering a secure government facility, destruction of government property, stealing national secrets and parking illegally."

In other news, a Higgs Boson which had become stuck in the pipe was stolen.

Whew, I'm glad DHS was all over that. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691304)

It's not like people are trying to kill us or anything.

I Hate (2)

bored_engineer (951004) | about 3 years ago | (#35691306)

I really hate April 1. Between my kids and Slashdot, the day is always ruined. I have a sense of humor, but I stopped laughing about 30 minutes after the kids got home. Sigh.

Re:I Hate (2)

Frosty Piss (770223) | about 3 years ago | (#35691316)

Between my kids and Slashdot, the day is always ruined.

I'll bet you're a load of fun around Christmas time, too.

Re:I Hate (1)

bored_engineer (951004) | about 3 years ago | (#35691336)

Nope. Not Christian.

Re:I Hate (1)

Frosty Piss (770223) | about 3 years ago | (#35691350)

Nope. Not Christian.

Neither am I, but that doesn't mean I'm a humorless negative party pooper.

Re:I Hate (1)

sconeu (64226) | about 3 years ago | (#35691404)

I'm not humorless, but the posts are.

On the other hand, the OMG!!! PONIES!!! was an *INCREDIBLE* April Fool joke. If the jokes weren't lame, I'd be happy.

Re:I Hate (1)

biryokumaru (822262) | about 3 years ago | (#35691610)

What does that have to do with Christmas? Heck, anyone who claims to be a Christian and celebrates Christmas must not pay much attention to their religion [youtube.com]. Christmas is a purely secular holiday that those wayward Christians are foolishly attempting to co-opt.

Re:I Hate (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35692008)

hey, fuck you.

April Fools... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691312)

...are meant to be funny. This was not.

(and yes, I know this is Slashdot)

Re:April Fools... (2)

jamesh (87723) | about 3 years ago | (#35691346)

While I feel a bit let down by April Fools Day this year (especially as it ended 23 hours ago here), the "and parking illegally." made me laugh.

The forgot one charge (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691322)

They were also charged with spray painting "MIT SUCKS" on the coils. The four were believed to have flushed Potassium down the toilets but the charges are being held until the water on the floors of the bathrooms can be tested.

This is obviously the Republican's fault. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691328)

The Republican's with their Christian Anti-Science Fundamentalism are out to get scientists.

Next, you'll see them fight against Global Warming because it hurts their coal and oil over lords! And then, they get the stupid peons on board who believe that Global Warming doesn't exist - even though the evidence is there!

Goddamn dumb Republicans!

Sad (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691334)

An admitted fake, but I think whats more sad is that this could actually be a true news story. Even the absurdity of the parking ticket lends merit to the story. Welcome to the police state.

Re:Sad (1)

im_thatoneguy (819432) | about 3 years ago | (#35691750)

I was really surprised when I read the original story that this *wasn't* the outcome. They obviously *DID* trespass. I read nowhere in the original article that they had permission to enter any of those buildings--vacant or not. I have to assume that the fact they scaled a fence to enter leads me to believe that they weren't there on an official tour.

The SSC was killed because of its name (1)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | about 3 years ago | (#35691348)

Superconducting Super Collider? That just sounds expensive. So when Congress is looking to save money, that really stands out. Collider sounds to violent as well. If they had called it "Mini-micro concur-er," It would have been whacking up stuff today.

Re:The SSC was killed because of its name (1)

Dahamma (304068) | about 3 years ago | (#35691390)

FermiLab's is called the "Tevatron". Now that's a cool name - Teva and Tron, combining my favorite sandals and 80's Disney sci-fi movie.

Re:The SSC was killed because of its name (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691458)

"The Texas Boom Boom" would have been the best name.

Clearly a prank (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691360)

When was the last time four physicists were all at work by 8:30am?

Re:Clearly a prank (1)

Nivag064 (904744) | about 3 years ago | (#35691448)

At the LHC, physicists often work through the night!

Re:Clearly a prank (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691512)

In shifts, like blue collar plant workers...

Not very clever (1)

warp_kez (711090) | about 3 years ago | (#35691394)

Seriously, April Fools is overrated now. All the jokes have been done and done again - they are just not funny anymore, some not even in the first instance.

stupid combo boxes (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691502)

I really hope that these stupid idiotic combo boxes that render the RSS feeds streams news information basically useless gibberish insane are some sort of lame happy pointless April fools joke and not a page design decision afterthought whim.

Please think about the one dozens tens hundreds thousands millions billions of user users people person readers that are using clients computers cellphones tablets desktops etch-a-sketches to access these articles.

one decade from now (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691536)

Google and everyone else will have to discount all "news" with a date of 1-5 April, and remove them from search results. Once people figure out that this is happening, criminals will use 1 April to conduct criminal activity and the general populace will begin putting the incorrect date on their "1 April fools" pranks, wreaking even more havoc.

Glitch? (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35691574)

Oh G*d this is so much fun ;-)

I don't know if anyone else is seeAing this but I am experiencing a glitch in the /. website that allows me to see certain words have a drop down options list for alternative words. The options make such interesting alternate wording that I am currently addicted to reading/editing articles on /.

If you cant see it, here are 3 screen grabs.
http://thestoreindevon.com/forum_files/slash-dot-1.jpg
http://thestoreindevon.com/forum_files/slash-dot-2.jpg
http://thestoreindevon.com/forum_files/slash-dot-3.jpg

They're in deep shit (0)

mysidia (191772) | about 3 years ago | (#35692288)

The group is charged with breaking and entering a secure government facility, destruction of government property, stealing national secrets and parking illegally."

The other 3 charges are trivial and are easily dismissed with a warning or minor fine.

But parking illegally?!?!? UH oh...... the group is bound to be sentenced to hang.

I think I know these guys... (1)

rjch (544288) | about 3 years ago | (#35692714)

A team of four physicists was arrested this morning at the headquarters of the American Physical Society (APS) in College Park, MD.

Their names weren't Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Raj, by any chance were they?

Let Me Guess (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35693336)

Their names are Rajesh, Sheldon, Leonard and Howard?

what? (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35694668)

i guess all there base really do belong to them

Really scary (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#35694864)

It's really scary when you can't figure out "is this an April Fools joke or not?"

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