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Four Physicists Arrested After SSC Break-In

timothy posted more than 3 years ago | from the if-not-for-you-pesky-non-kids dept.

Crime 49

An anonymous reader writes with a not-unexpected followup to one of the break-ins of the century, when a group of curious scientists decided to see what was left of the uncompleted giant collider project in East . From the article: "A team of four physicists was arrested this morning at the headquarters of the American Physical Society (APS) in College Park, MD. officers from the Department of Homeland Security entered the building around 8:30 a.m. and detained the suspects without . The group is charged with breaking and entering a secure government facility, destruction of government property, stealing national secrets and parking illegally."

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I dont know why (3, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691294)

I even opened my browser today,

Re:I dont know why (1)

markass530 (870112) | more than 3 years ago | (#35692106)

because there is life outside of slashdot?

Re:I dont know why (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35693022)

There are some innovative technical ideas on April 1st. For example, this Canadian airline found a great way to improve fuel efficiency [westjet.com] . I'm kind of surprised it didn't make slashdot.

Actually they weren't arrest because they broke in (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691296)

It was because they broke out! They came through a functional SSC in another universe, and used the Einstein-Rosen bridge combined with a Quantum Leap Accelerator to cross into this universe.

and now they need the star gate to get back! (1)

Joe The Dragon (967727) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691582)

and now they need the star gate to get back!

Re:Actually they weren't arrest because they broke (1)

Sulphur (1548251) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691658)

An anonymous reader writes with a not-unexpected followup to one of the break-ins of the century, when a group of curious scientists decided to see what was left of the uncompleted giant collider project in East Texas. From the article: "A team of four physicists was arrested this morning at the headquarters of the American Physical Society (APS) in College Park, MD. officers from the Department of Homeland Security entered the building around 8:30 a.m. and detained the suspects without . The group is charged with breaking and entering a secure government facility, destruction of government property, stealing national secrets and parking illegally."

In other news, a Higgs Boson which had become stuck in the pipe was stolen.

Whew, I'm glad DHS was all over that. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691304)

It's not like people are trying to kill us or anything.

I Hate (2)

bored_engineer (951004) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691306)

I really hate April 1. Between my kids and Slashdot, the day is always ruined. I have a sense of humor, but I stopped laughing about 30 minutes after the kids got home. Sigh.

Re:I Hate (2)

Frosty Piss (770223) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691316)

Between my kids and Slashdot, the day is always ruined.

I'll bet you're a load of fun around Christmas time, too.

Re:I Hate (1)

bored_engineer (951004) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691336)

Nope. Not Christian.

Re:I Hate (1)

Frosty Piss (770223) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691350)

Nope. Not Christian.

Neither am I, but that doesn't mean I'm a humorless negative party pooper.

Re:I Hate (1)

sconeu (64226) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691404)

I'm not humorless, but the posts are.

On the other hand, the OMG!!! PONIES!!! was an *INCREDIBLE* April Fool joke. If the jokes weren't lame, I'd be happy.

You Fail (1)

Frosty Piss (770223) | more than 3 years ago | (#35692044)

On the other hand, the OMG!!! PONIES!!!

It's ***PINK*** PONIES. Poser

Re:I Hate (1)

biryokumaru (822262) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691610)

What does that have to do with Christmas? Heck, anyone who claims to be a Christian and celebrates Christmas must not pay much attention to their religion [youtube.com] . Christmas is a purely secular holiday that those wayward Christians are foolishly attempting to co-opt.

Re:I Hate (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35692008)

hey, fuck you.

Re:I Hate (2)

TheGratefulNet (143330) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691354)

is that the time when people drink the blood of that plastic guy on the dashboard?

well, is it??

Re:I Hate (1)

kangsterizer (1698322) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691342)

I stopped laughing on april 1st a bit over 10 years ago. I think that's when I've got internet.

Re:I Hate (2)

naota-kun (705771) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691356)

This morning I told my kids not to believe anything they heard today. On the way out the door, my wife told them she loved them. They looked confused...I just shrugged.

Re:I Hate (1)

Alex Belits (437) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691396)

Trolldad approves!

Re:I Hate (1)

geekoid (135745) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691406)

You should have looked at them and said "Nothing!"

or "I hate you."

Stealing national secrets? (1)

chemicaldave (1776600) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691310)

...Really? Guess it puts the parking illegally in perspective.

April Fools... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691312)

...are meant to be funny. This was not.

(and yes, I know this is Slashdot)

Re:April Fools... (2)

jamesh (87723) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691346)

While I feel a bit let down by April Fools Day this year (especially as it ended 23 hours ago here), the "and parking illegally." made me laugh.

The forgot one charge (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691322)

They were also charged with spray painting "MIT SUCKS" on the coils. The four were believed to have flushed Potassium down the toilets but the charges are being held until the water on the floors of the bathrooms can be tested.

Worst. April Fools. Ever. (3, Insightful)

ZosX (517789) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691326)

Wake me up when its over.

This is obviously the Republican's fault. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691328)

The Republican's with their Christian Anti-Science Fundamentalism are out to get scientists.

Next, you'll see them fight against Global Warming because it hurts their coal and oil over lords! And then, they get the stupid peons on board who believe that Global Warming doesn't exist - even though the evidence is there!

Goddamn dumb Republicans!

Sad (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691334)

An admitted fake, but I think whats more sad is that this could actually be a true news story. Even the absurdity of the parking ticket lends merit to the story. Welcome to the police state.

Re:Sad (1)

im_thatoneguy (819432) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691750)

I was really surprised when I read the original story that this *wasn't* the outcome. They obviously *DID* trespass. I read nowhere in the original article that they had permission to enter any of those buildings--vacant or not. I have to assume that the fact they scaled a fence to enter leads me to believe that they weren't there on an official tour.

The SSC was killed because of its name (1)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691348)

Superconducting Super Collider? That just sounds expensive. So when Congress is looking to save money, that really stands out. Collider sounds to violent as well. If they had called it "Mini-micro concur-er," It would have been whacking up stuff today.

Re:The SSC was killed because of its name (1)

Dahamma (304068) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691390)

FermiLab's is called the "Tevatron". Now that's a cool name - Teva and Tron, combining my favorite sandals and 80's Disney sci-fi movie.

Re:The SSC was killed because of its name (1)

Darinbob (1142669) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691440)

Superaffirmative Particle Consensusbuilder.

Re:The SSC was killed because of its name (1)

ScentCone (795499) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691520)

Fantastic.

Re:The SSC was killed because of its name (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691458)

"The Texas Boom Boom" would have been the best name.

Clearly a prank (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691360)

When was the last time four physicists were all at work by 8:30am?

Re:Clearly a prank (1)

Nivag064 (904744) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691448)

At the LHC, physicists often work through the night!

Re:Clearly a prank (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691512)

In shifts, like blue collar plant workers...

Not very clever (1)

warp_kez (711090) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691394)

Seriously, April Fools is overrated now. All the jokes have been done and done again - they are just not funny anymore, some not even in the first instance.

stupid combo boxes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691502)

I really hope that these stupid idiotic combo boxes that render the RSS feeds streams news information basically useless gibberish insane are some sort of lame happy pointless April fools joke and not a page design decision afterthought whim.

Please think about the one dozens tens hundreds thousands millions billions of user users people person readers that are using clients computers cellphones tablets desktops etch-a-sketches to access these articles.

one decade from now (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691536)

Google and everyone else will have to discount all "news" with a date of 1-5 April, and remove them from search results. Once people figure out that this is happening, criminals will use 1 April to conduct criminal activity and the general populace will begin putting the incorrect date on their "1 April fools" pranks, wreaking even more havoc.

better pay the parking fine or the ppa will boot y (1)

Joe The Dragon (967727) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691568)

better pay the parking fine or the ppa will boot you and fee you to death..

Glitch? (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35691574)

Oh G*d this is so much fun ;-)

I don't know if anyone else is seeAing this but I am experiencing a glitch in the /. website that allows me to see certain words have a drop down options list for alternative words. The options make such interesting alternate wording that I am currently addicted to reading/editing articles on /.

If you cant see it, here are 3 screen grabs.
http://thestoreindevon.com/forum_files/slash-dot-1.jpg
http://thestoreindevon.com/forum_files/slash-dot-2.jpg
http://thestoreindevon.com/forum_files/slash-dot-3.jpg

Still haven't received it! (1)

kyrio (1091003) | more than 3 years ago | (#35691926)

Where is it?

They're in deep shit (0)

mysidia (191772) | more than 3 years ago | (#35692288)

The group is charged with breaking and entering a secure government facility, destruction of government property, stealing national secrets and parking illegally."

The other 3 charges are trivial and are easily dismissed with a warning or minor fine.

But parking illegally?!?!? UH oh...... the group is bound to be sentenced to hang.

I think I know these guys... (1)

rjch (544288) | more than 3 years ago | (#35692714)

A team of four physicists was arrested this morning at the headquarters of the American Physical Society (APS) in College Park, MD.

Their names weren't Leonard, Sheldon, Howard and Raj, by any chance were they?

Let Me Guess (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35693336)

Their names are Rajesh, Sheldon, Leonard and Howard?

what? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35694668)

i guess all there base really do belong to them

Really scary (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#35694864)

It's really scary when you can't figure out "is this an April Fools joke or not?"

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