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Prison Guard Dog Gets Titanium Teeth

samzenpus posted more than 3 years ago | from the his-bark-is-not-worse-than-his-bite dept.

Australia 42

It's not quite sharks with laser beams attached to their heads, but an Australian prison just got a guard dog with titanium teeth. Axel got his new metal chompers after he bit into a board, breaking many of his teeth. Veterinary dentist David Clarke says: "So much is spent on training working dogs that it ends up much cheaper to repair a dental problem than retire the dog. Prison dogs, police dogs, hunting, quarantine and customs dogs often suffer injuries in the course of their job."

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Bond... (3, Funny)

SJHillman (1966756) | more than 3 years ago | (#36035414)

So now they can remake The Spy Who Loved Me and give Jaws a pet...

Max (1)

Marillion (33728) | more than 3 years ago | (#36035448)

It's Max, the bionic dog.

I for one... (1)

tchi.keufte (1154325) | more than 3 years ago | (#36035480)

I for one welcome our new canine-wolverine overlords.

Since Axel is clearly a working class citizen... (1)

macraig (621737) | more than 3 years ago | (#36035516)

... it's only fair that he should have a decent dental plan like everyone else! Now what about his pension, hmmm?

Re:Since Axel is clearly a working class citizen.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36035566)

... it's only fair that he should have a decent dental plan like everyone else! Now what about his pension, hmmm?

Like the true red commy bastards that we are, Australia has true universal health care, so we generally don't have to worry about employee health/dental plans. Dogs on the other hand... ;)

Re:Since Axel is clearly a working class citizen.. (1)

macraig (621737) | more than 3 years ago | (#36035654)

Step forward, you Anon Coward, and let yer flaming red arse be counted!

Re:Since Axel is clearly a working class citizen.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36036150)

DENTAL PLAN! axel needs braces.. DENTAL PLAN! axel needs braces.. DENTAL PLAN! axel needs braces..

Re:Since Axel is clearly a working class citizen.. (1)

wickedskaman (1105337) | more than 3 years ago | (#36043084)

*drops pencil into exposed butt crack* BULL'S EYE!

Re:Since Axel is clearly a working class citizen.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36090598)

If he is a working class citizen he should get paid for it, and not be expected/ordered to enter the situations were he could be seriously injured (lets be honest they use the attack dogs when they are scared for there own safety).

Re:Since Axel is clearly a working class citizen.. (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36037096)

Actually, he has a even better system: People who care for him when he's old! Because they love him.

How about that?

Oh wait, to care about our parents, they would have had to care about us when we were children, instead of giving us away to others and working some idiotic job where they only see their children about an hour a day.

How about we do the following: Making caring for your children and elderly the highest-paid job in the world!
So as a parent you are paid. And when you're old, you have to pay them back to care for you.
(With government inflation protection.)

Of course those with more than half a brain don't need to interchange money to do the same.

Re:Since Axel is clearly a working class citizen.. (1)

uncqual (836337) | more than 3 years ago | (#36037724)

Of course, Alex's caregiver in old age will, fairly likely, eventually have Alex euthanized without Alex's informed consent.

I suppose children should get to do the same to Mom and Dad when they get old and "it's time" in the kids' sole judgement? That's likely to create some very interesting estate planning - especially in the area of conditions in wills.

expensive training? (3, Funny)

flibbidyfloo (451053) | more than 3 years ago | (#36035578)

If these dogs get such expensive training, why did he bite a board and break all his teeth on it? My dog has only a couple hundred dollars worth of training and even he's smart enough not to do that!

Re:expensive training? (1)

datorum (1280144) | more than 3 years ago | (#36035722)

it said "expensive training"... probably like university/school... thus it doesn't necessarily makes the attendee - or in that case the attendog - smarter. and maybe one course was about biting boards...

Re:expensive training? (2)

Ichijo (607641) | more than 3 years ago | (#36035934)

Obviously, this was a carefully crafted strategy to obtain the set of titanium teeth all dogs dream about. He even knew he was irreplaceable.

Now which is the smarter dog?

Re:expensive training? (1)

frosty_tsm (933163) | more than 3 years ago | (#36036174)

If these dogs get such expensive training, why did he bite a board and break all his teeth on it? My dog has only a couple hundred dollars worth of training and even he's smart enough not to do that!

Context as to why is missing. Perhaps he lunging at an escapee who put a 2x4 in the dogs path to protect himself?

Re:expensive training? (1)

flibbidyfloo (451053) | more than 3 years ago | (#36036632)

Yeah, possibly. I was being a little snide, but you never know. My dog did actually break one of his teeth in an unknown way, but they just pulled it out. He didn't get a cool metal replacement. I know he didn't bite a board though. We keep him out of the workshop because he's proven untrustworthy with the router.

Re:expensive training? (1)

penguin_dance (536599) | more than 3 years ago | (#36036834)

We keep him out of the workshop because he's proven untrustworthy with the router.

And you never know when they'll try to hack the Pentagon!

I'm sure had you wanted to pay for such they would have made a replacement. It looks like they replaced both canines which would be essential for a guard dog if he need to chomp down on an escapee. NO ONE is going to fuck with his handler now.

Re:expensive training? (1)

Coren22 (1625475) | more than 3 years ago | (#36040636)

The dog bit the headboard (I suppose on his bed?). They did not elaborate any further in TFA though.

Re:expensive training? (1)

penguin_dance (536599) | more than 3 years ago | (#36036774)

He might have been ripping at a fence board to get to someone on the other side. I don't think he was just chewing on it like a bone.

Re:expensive training? Scratch that... (1)

penguin_dance (536599) | more than 3 years ago | (#36036878)

I thought this was something that happened in the line of duty, but the article says, "They were fitted by veterinary dentist David Clarke after Axel shattered his teeth while biting into his bed board."

OK, this dog is seriously all teeth, no brains.

Re:expensive training? Scratch that... (1)

uncqual (836337) | more than 3 years ago | (#36037842)

Maybe Alex is a seriously fierce dog and was dreaming about chomping on a perp's shin and hanging on and only discovered that he was actually biting on a board as he awoke in pain as his teeth broke. Not necessarily dumb, just taking his work home with him and working overtime w/o extra pay.

(If this is the case, I don't recommend that Alex's handler let him sleep in the same room as the handler!)

Re:expensive training? Scratch that... (1)

flibbidyfloo (451053) | more than 3 years ago | (#36043708)

Not to start a flame war with some bored dog lover out there, but the dogs typically used for this type of duty are not known for their brains. They are fairly easy to train obedience into, and they are tough and loyal. But as far as I've read, they are pretty low on the "independent thinking and smarts" department.

Re:expensive training? Scratch that... (1)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | more than 3 years ago | (#36089166)

Somebody really looking for a flame war would note that the qualifications for standard-issue guard humans might not be so different...

Re:expensive training? Scratch that... (1)

Hazel Bergeron (2015538) | more than 3 years ago | (#36097858)

And someone taking this to the logical conclusion would notice that a politician...

Who (or what) received the expensive training? (1)

Lead Butthead (321013) | more than 3 years ago | (#36037488)

If these dogs get such expensive training, why did he bite a board and break all his teeth on it?

It seem fairly obvious to me that its handler was not properly trained and thus instructed the animal to bite a board and broke its teeth. I am guessing that they diverted the training budget of the handlers to that of the canine since the animal will never form a union and complain endlessly about low pay and work conditions.

Re:expensive training? (1)

SleazyRidr (1563649) | more than 3 years ago | (#36039840)

That was my first thought too. I thought a basic part of that kind of training was 'only bite what your handler tells you to bite.'

Re:expensive training? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36065644)

If these dogs get such expensive training, why did he bite a board and break all his teeth on it?

If you're seriously asking that question, I've got to say I honestly doubt you have a dog at all. You don't appear to have the slightest idea about what dogs are - and what they're not.

Great, a dog with a grille (1)

hobo sapiens (893427) | more than 3 years ago | (#36035670)

It'll soon be the must-have fashion accessory for the pitbulls and rottweilers roaming the ghetto

Re:Great, a dog with a grille (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36076128)

I'm pretty sure a dog with titanium teeth would have as much street cred on Fifth Avenue as on Martin Luther King Blvd. If you told people the dog was actually black underneath all that fur, however, opinions might magically change.

I want. (1)

amanicdroid (1822516) | more than 3 years ago | (#36035676)

I'm tired of my stupid teeth made of weak, crumble-prone metals. Would still need to brush and floss but it'd be worth it if there are no blood flow issues.

Why stop there? (1)

Lumpy (12016) | more than 3 years ago | (#36036116)

Why cant we get the dogs to shoot bees from their mouths?

Big bad lifer prisoner is a big pussy when it comes to even 50 bees. they cry like little girls.

Re:Why stop there? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36036450)

Fuck life in prison. Kill them - it costs taxpayers less than life imprisonment.

Gambling in Casablanca (1)

ThatsNotPudding (1045640) | more than 3 years ago | (#36037148)

"What? the prisoners are intimidated by a dog with titanium teeth? Why, we had no idea of this unintended consequence! Shocked, shocked, I say!!"

Navy Dogs already have this, and they can skydive (2)

Debello (1030486) | more than 3 years ago | (#36040888)

http://www.thedaily.com/page/2011/05/05/050511-news-seal-dog-1-5/ [thedaily.com]

They can skydive, have night vision, and have titanium teeth. What's so special about one prison guard dog?

Just the teeth? (1)

dubsnipe (1822200) | more than 3 years ago | (#36044670)

How about adamantium claws? *snikt*

Wow (1)

JustAnotherIdiot (1980292) | more than 3 years ago | (#36048392)

As if a dog bite didn't hurt enough, ouch. I almost feel sorry for whatever prisoner is on the receiving end.

Re:Wow (1)

psyque (1234612) | more than 3 years ago | (#36052232)

It's not like they're sharpened to a blade. Titanium or enamel, they're all going to tear your flesh the same.

take a bite out of crime! (1)

Gravis Zero (934156) | more than 3 years ago | (#36048676)

but seriously, if this dog was biting a board it means they werent giving him something to chew like a rawhide bone. dogs a going to chew on something no matter what, so you might as well make sure it's not going to break their teeth off.

Hopefully (1)

Celestialwolf (1656075) | more than 3 years ago | (#36049324)

Hopefully the dog never bites its tongue...

Guard dog (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36056538)

I think this is one of the cruelest pre-planned and deliberate acts against another human being that I've heard of in recent years ....

This is a clear sign of a light consciousness having lost or having never had their God given Gift of the Christ consciousness Positive neuron circuitry of thought
There has got to be a more humane way to bring order to an imprisoned group .. and prevent harm to staff workers than to concoct such a sinister man-made beast

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