Beta

Slashdot: News for Nerds

×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

CDC Warns of Zombie Apocalypse

Soulskill posted more than 3 years ago | from the your-tax-dollars-at-play dept.

Medicine 300

scotbuff writes "The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have written an article about preparing for a zombie apocalypse on their blog. The CDC knows that a zombie apocalypse is no joke. 'If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine). It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated.'"

cancel ×

300 comments

Damage Control (3, Funny)

xMrFishx (1956084) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183222)

... patient management and [...] infection control

So, that's the bit with the guns and the fire, right?

Re:Damage Control (4, Interesting)

betterunixthanunix (980855) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183608)

A while ago, I remember seeing an article that explained why a zombie apocalypse would never happen. The point that probably made the most sense is this: America has plenty of people with guns, and hunters in America are so effective that we need to pass laws to prevent them from killing off all the wildlife in the country. Zombies would not survive more than a few weeks against the kind of firepower that our hunters possess.

Re:Damage Control (1)

gnick (1211984) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183706)

Good point, but what if the apocalypse isn't in the US? Or (more frightening), what if the zombies are still sophisticated enough to use guns and decide that's the most direct route to delicious BRRRAAAIIIIIINNNS?

Re:Damage Control (1)

Riceballsan (816702) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183910)

Still a number of other issues with zombies, first off if the actual host bodies are indeed rotting etc as they are usually depicted then that would be an issue, also if zombies used guns then they would render the victims unable to become zombies themselves. In which case then it would be the equivalent of a normal gang of people to take down. 100 or less people would not rival a nation.

Well... (1)

creat3d (1489345) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183230)

I, for one, welcome our quarantined overlords!

Re:Well... (1)

Noitatsidem (1701520) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183444)

I, for one, welcome this late April fools joke! It is a joke ri- Nevermind. Also, I've been wondering how to protect myself against vampires, and Edward Cullen fangirls, will they publish this as well?

Slow Day for the CDC (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183232)

I guess they have all those other pesky diseases all taken care of.

Only certain coutries affected (1)

Teun (17872) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183240)

When I understand various Hollywood products correctly this would only affect the US and maybe Transylvania.

Re:Only certain coutries affected (1)

gnick (1211984) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183722)

According to 28 Days Later, Doghouse, and others, I think the UK may be in trouble too. Transylvania has other issues to deal with.

Re:Only certain coutries affected (1)

somersault (912633) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183780)

Don't forget Nightwatch/Daywatch (Russia?) and Dead Snow (Sweden or Norway) ;)

Re:Only certain coutries affected (1)

gnick (1211984) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183942)

Nightwatch/Daywatch are wonderful, but I don't know if I'd qualify them as zombie movies. There were some vampire type characters and various super-hero/villain characters, but not hordes of flesh-eating mindless killing machines - So based on the limited data I have right now I think the Russians are OK. You're right though - Norway not only has to deal with zombies, but Nazi zombies!

Cause of the illness? (2)

CigarBuff (61105) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183242)

If there's a zombie near me, I don't care what caused it. I don't care to find the source of the infection, or develop a cure. I just want it dead. Again.

Prioritize your work, CDC. Start with cancer and stuff.

Re:Cause of the illness? (4, Informative)

0racle (667029) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183362)

Disaster planning pretty much always starts with 'a disaster has occurred, what do we do'. However people are very delicate things and would have their feelings hurt if you suggested a real disaster could happen and so to lighten things up a made up disaster is substituted.

Basically this is the CDC's plan for dealing with a disastrous disease outbreak.

Re:Cause of the illness? (1)

mikael_j (106439) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183590)

According to the CDC blog you and all of your family members should gather outside your home. Yup, that's how they want you to stay safe when the zombies come for our sweet juicy brains, stand around outdoors waiting for your family to show up.

I think we can assume that the CDC is not the best source of zombie survival information.

Re:Cause of the illness? (1)

somersault (912633) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183792)

I dunno. In all those zombie and slasher movies, getting into enclosed spaces isn't the best idea.

Re:CDC is not the best source of ... information. (2)

snikulin (889460) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183944)

Or we can assume that the CDC is already infected by zombies.

Best Treatment? (2)

lunchlady55 (471982) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183248)

What do you mean, the best treatment? It better be a discussion of what best severs the spinal cord from a distance or I'll be losing faith in the CDC's ability to handle a zombie apocalypse!

Zombie Meme Now Undead! (1)

Gr33nJ3ll0 (1367543) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183252)

Surely now that the terminally unhip people at the CDC are using zombies it means that this meme is dead, and we can move on to another right?

Re:Zombie Meme Now Undead! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183494)

As I understand, the hip thing now is to call something a "meme", even if it has nothing to do with one.

Re:Zombie Meme Now Undead! (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183662)

Well, but Ninjas and Robots are firmly in the hands of the Japanese and the RIAA has gobbled up the Pirate agenda, so what's left for them? You can only work with what you got.

Much like any other outbreak? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183266)

"'If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak."

Really? How many known diseases cause humans to turn and attack each other? We're not dealing with very cooperative patients here.

Re:Much like any other outbreak? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183302)

whatever disease niggers have.

Re:Much like any other outbreak? (5, Funny)

jollyreaper (513215) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183442)

Really? How many known diseases cause humans to turn and attack each other?

Usually we call it religion.

Re:Much like any other outbreak? (-1, Troll)

jollyreaper (513215) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183484)

Really? How many known diseases cause humans to turn and attack each other?

Usually we call it religion.

And my post was downmodded. Thank you for proving my point, believer! :)

Re:Much like any other outbreak? (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183600)

Right, because his modding you down is totally the equivalent of an 'attack', thereby proving your point with some kind of twisted internet atheist troll logic. If anything, you should have been modded Flamebait or Troll, as your response to your moderation gives a pretty good indication that was the intent of the post.

Re:Much like any other outbreak? (0)

jollyreaper (513215) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183666)

Right, because his modding you down is totally the equivalent of an 'attack', thereby proving your point with some kind of twisted internet atheist troll logic. If anything, you should have been modded Flamebait or Troll, as your response to your moderation gives a pretty good indication that was the intent of the post..

It was really just a try for an easy laugh. I could have just as easily substituted Faux News, politics, football, or mosh pits. Religion seemed broadest and funniest but I think your reply beats my OP hands down. I'd mod you +5 funny if I had the points. :)

Re:Much like any other outbreak? (5, Funny)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183744)

Yup. And the whole thing matches perfectly. I mean, let's compare the symptoms of zombification and religiousness:

Aggressive behaviour towards people with brains? Yup.
Mindless repetition of the same utterances? Yup.
Congregation with other diseased? Yup.

My friend, I guess you're on the right track here.

Re:Much like any other outbreak? (0)

jollyreaper (513215) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183762)

Yup. And the whole thing matches perfectly. I mean, let's compare the symptoms of zombification and religiousness:

Aggressive behaviour towards people with brains? Yup.
Mindless repetition of the same utterances? Yup.
Congregation with other diseased? Yup.

My friend, I guess you're on the right track here.

I'm getting downmodded like I said something bad about Apple. And considering that article talking about how people are literally having a religious experience in their brains when looking at Apple products... lol

Re:Much like any other outbreak? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183454)

How many known diseases cause humans to turn and attack each other?

Does oil count as a disease?

Re:Much like any other outbreak? (1)

omnichad (1198475) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183640)

Did you ever see the miniseries The Stand (or read the book, but I haven't)? Trying to break protocol and breach quarantine to save yourself because you believe you're not infected is almost as bad as trying to eat someone's brains.

Re:Much like any other outbreak? (1)

BlackSnake112 (912158) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183650)

Really? How many known diseases cause humans to turn and attack each other?

Greed.

Imagine what would happen if someone walking into a crowded mall, held up a lottery ticket and said "here is the $100,000,000 winning lottery ticket".
I am willing to bet that some else will walk away with said ticket.

Re:Much like any other outbreak? (1)

somersault (912633) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183826)

I think they'd crawl away ;)

awesome prvilege (-1, Offtopic)

source_route (1057560) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183268)

i submitted the same story before u - thanks

Um Help? (1)

jimmerz28 (1928616) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183270)

I like how "...and how patients can be treated." falls at the very end.

Re:Um Help? (1)

plover (150551) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183756)

I like how "...and how patients can be treated." falls at the very end.

Treated...with a machete.

The CDC has a sense of humor (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183276)

Maybe too much of one? [cdc.gov]

I'd like the people who are guarding smallpox, anthrax, and other potentially lethal diseases to be humor-less and boring.

Re:The CDC has a sense of humor (1)

spun (1352) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183388)

Won't someone think of the rabid zombie children?!?

Re:The CDC has a sense of humor (1)

istartedi (132515) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183820)

I'd like the people who guard deadly shit to have a psychological profile that comports with being effective at their jobs and not prone to insane outbursts.

IANApsychologist, but I think humor-less and boring people might be prone to snap at some point.

Re:The CDC has a sense of humor (1)

monoqlith (610041) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183926)

I agree, and honestly, I was mostly kidding. Having a sense of humor doesn't necessarily detract from the seriousness of people doing their jobs (although it can), and I obviously doubt that the people writing their web content have a direct hand in level 4 bio-containment anyway.
That said, I would like seriousness to be maintained in whatever form most guarantees our safety.

it's a cute ad (1)

story645 (1278106) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183906)

It looks like they're trying to advert their emergency preparedness [cdc.gov] campaign, and this is a great creative way to do it.

netcraft confirms it... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183310)

zombies are dead!

It is already happening! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183318)

This happens every day in the insect world, I think it is very responsible of the CDC to be prepared.

what? no training program? (2)

Mr.Fork (633378) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183320)

Where's the baseball head-splat, and chainsaw training programs for citizens assist in the control of the spread of the disease? Ammo depots? Location to get two-for-one specials for Colt 45's? Bait tactics? how about shot-gun modifications? You know, where to saw off the butt and barrel? And of course, Axe control - how to swing an axe at the head to ensure accuracy? You know, maybe if they created one of those diagram cards like we see on airplanes...that would be good.

Re:what? no training program? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183406)

There's probably more, but I know of two training [steampowered.com] programs [steampowered.com] .

Just die already (1)

tibbetts (7769) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183328)

Isn't this zombie-mania past its prime yet? It was funny for a while, but now it's just overplayed.

Re:Just die already (2)

Sinthet (2081954) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183632)

You could say its become a somewhat zombified!

Re:Just die already (1)

Anonymous Psychopath (18031) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183678)

Isn't this zombie-mania past its prime yet? It was funny for a while, but now it's just overplayed.

That's exactly what a zombie sympathizer would say. Traitor.

Re:Just die already (4, Funny)

somersault (912633) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183892)

Tbh I thought it had already died, but somehow it's come back.

appropriate link (1)

jollyreaper (513215) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183338)

Monster Talk had the author of the Zombie Autopsies on for a fun chat about zombies. Monster Talk (podcast) is a skeptic's look at the science of cryptids and popular monsters. Their position is they love the monsters and the stories even if they don't believe in them and use the premise as a means of going into the science. Talk of the Loch Ness monster leads to plesiosaurs, their evolutionary history, and all the reasons there couldn't possibly be a breeding population surviving in the lake.

I didn't know about the Zombie Autopsies until I heard this show and I plan on checking it out. Hopefully it'll be the best bit of Zombie fiction since World War Z.

thezombieautopsies.com/

Zombie Snausages (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183364)

They forgot the freezer full of brains to keep your new neighbors happy.

Um... taxpayer money went into this? (1)

bl8n8r (649187) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183370)

A tweet is one thing. An entire blog seems a bit over-the-top for dicking-off. Especially in these times.

Re:Um... taxpayer money went into this? (4, Insightful)

bmo (77928) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183428)

You obviously didn't read the article.

It has some sensible disaster preparedness stuff in it. Just because it references popular culture doesn't mean it's a waste of money.

Government documents are boring enough as they are.

--
BMO

Re:Um... taxpayer money went into this? (5, Insightful)

Swanktastic (109747) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183432)

Personally, I think it's brilliant. Someone out there was assigned the job of getting as many people as possible to read some really boring emergency preparedness webpage, and they succeeded a million times over. It's on the front page of the WSJ.

Re:Um... taxpayer money went into this? (5, Insightful)

LordStormes (1749242) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183466)

The reason for this should be clear - has ANYONE here read a disaster preparedness article in the last 3-4 years? Probably not. This got the post on the front page of Google News, /., CNN, and countless other news sites. The page was "Slashdotted" all afternoon. How many people got educated about what to do in a disaster because they thought, "Oh, zombies, lulz!" I know I did. This stunt got them more exposure than $25 million in advertising could. I'd MUCH prefer that our government do cheap and more effective things whenever possible (especially when I get a laugh as a bonus), as opposed to tossing money everywhere for no effect.

Re:Um... taxpayer money went into this? (1)

IVI V K (2022732) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183492)

I assume you didn't actually read the link...

It is a disaster preparation campaign with zombies as a hook to get people to read about how to prepare for natural disasters or outbreaks.

Re:Um... taxpayer money went into this? (2)

skids (119237) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183528)

Hey what's your TMI score?

Seriously, for reasons adequately described by the other replies to your post, seek treatment.

Not meant literally, but rather a cultural appeal (5, Insightful)

PeterM from Berkeley (15510) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183376)

While the CDC doesn't think that there'll actually be a zombie apocalypse, they do recognize that some really bad scenerios involving contagious disease could happen, and the effect on society could come to resemble that of a zombie apocalypse.

Instead of biting you to infect you, someone coughs on you instead, either way you end up dead.

And the CDC is arguably more important than the US Military, and neglected. Which is REALLY a bigger threat to us, the military power of any foreign adversary, or a highly contagious disease that knows no borders?

At this point I'd like to remind everyone that 44,000 of us die every year from antibiotic resistant germs. Exactly how many of us died in 9/11? 3000? And yet we spend trillions on our military, and... HOW MUCH, on new antibiotic development???

--PeterM

Re:Not meant literally, but rather a cultural appe (1)

Missing.Matter (1845576) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183464)

Instead of biting you to infect you, someone coughs on you instead, either way you end up dead.

No, if you get bit by a zombie you'll end up un dead

Re:Not meant literally, but rather a cultural appe (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183676)

Yeah, this CDC post is just a way to try and justify its existence and funding. Shouldn't be supported by taxes if you ask me.

Re:Not meant literally, but rather a cultural appe (2)

pudding7 (584715) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183850)

Yes. Let's make their work a "for profit" exercise. Good idea.

Re:Not meant literally, but rather a cultural appe (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183710)

And the CDC is arguably more important than the US Military, and neglected. Which is REALLY a bigger threat to us, the military power of any foreign adversary, or a highly contagious disease that knows no borders?

A person trying to kill you is infinitely more dangerous than a virus.

You mistake is that you assume we could get rid of our military and the strategic situation (the long term capabilities and goals of foreign nations) would stay the same.

Right now, the US Navy and US Air Force ensure that no other conventional military could possibly get their troops to our country to establish a beachhead. Most potential adversaries have very large ground forces, but haven't invested in the lift capacity because we would simply shoot it down or sink it long before it got close.

But if we didn't have the capacity to shoot it down or sink it, the strategic calculus changes. It would start to make sense for them to invest in lift capacity, and they'd become a tremendous threat quite quickly.

It's far cheaper to have a few aircraft carrier groups floating around than for us to fortify our coastlines. Also, if other countries aren't wasting their money building navies and air forces, they become more prosperous and hopefully less aggressive.

Re:Not meant literally, but rather a cultural appe (1)

Rob the Bold (788862) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183828)

A person trying to kill you is infinitely more dangerous than a virus.

Really? Cause I'd wager you'd be a lot more freaked out by Ebola than a Slashdotter with a hammer.

May not be needed any more. (1)

blair1q (305137) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183404)

When Jesus Christ returns this Saturday, the world's only confirmed zombie will be un-undead, solving the only known source of the problem.

So the CDC is a little late with its contribution, here.

Re:May not be needed any more. (1)

mikael_j (106439) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183558)

So what you're saying is that we need to decapitate him? or at least destroy his brain?

Re:May not be needed any more. (1)

blair1q (305137) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183610)

No, we just need to wait until Sunday, then stand outside any church and ask the people going inside if it matters if they do that any more.

Re:May not be needed any more. (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183776)

Would only be fair. How many brains were destroyed in his name?

probably just cover it up (1)

dltaylor (7510) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183408)

If "patient 0" was was the result of DoD, DoE, CIA, or corporate experiments, they'd probably cover that up and blame it on "terrorists", 'specially if they could cover up human experimentation in some minor country, like, say, Costa Rica.

Re:probably just cover it up (2)

Wyatt Earp (1029) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183670)

If Patient Zero was the result of DoD or CIA experiments they'd shoot Patient Zero in the head and incinerate Patient Zero.

Easy... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183412)

It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated

Lol, copious amounts of Milla Jovovich, there's your answer to all those questions.

The end is nigh... (2)

RdeCourtney (2034578) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183420)

Well, I guess you've got to be prepared when the big Judgement Day is on Saturday: http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/ [ebiblefellowship.com] Remember only 2 days to the end of the world - so if you're a Christian, then send me your money - money after all is the root of all evil. Therefore by sending me cash or a wire transfer you'll be absolved of your sins on Saturday!

Pssssh.. Bad advice (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183422)

First rule of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse : do not head to a refuge area. There is no safe haven just a town/state/country away. If the government/army/local militia is trying to set one up it is only a matter of time until a trojan infected gets in and turns the place into an inescapable slaughter house.

Safety is not in numbers when it come to zombies.

Re:Pssssh.. Bad advice (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183790)

Damn straight. If something remotely similar happens, the LAST place I want to be is where a lot of other humans are.

The desert looks very inviting in such moments.

Remember the rules. (1)

ddusza (775603) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183426)

Rule number 1--Cardio.... LOL

Misleading (1)

DeBaas (470886) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183430)

After RTFA, it seems not so much that they prepare and believe zombies to be a threat, but more like page on that you should prepare for emergencies. And, maybe a bit lame, they choose a popular theme to explain how you should prepare as well as what the CDC is for.

Ok, that was reality, let's get back at poking fun at CDC

Hmmm ... (1)

gstoddart (321705) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183436)

I'm sure I saw this on a TV show not long ago ... and by the time the good guys got to the CDC, they realized that had been wiped out too. Can't remember the name of the show at the moment.

Now, my next question ... is WTF is the CDC doing talking about the zombie apocalypse? Or is this just a cleverly disguised way of giving real emergency preparedness instructions and using social networking?

That's just plain bizarre. Possibly quite clever, but definitely bizarre.

Re:Hmmm ... (1)

Niris (1443675) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183576)

Show was Walking Dead on AMC. They referenced it briefly in the article. Also an absolutely amazing comic if you're into the zombie thing.

Re:Hmmm ... (1)

gstoddart (321705) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183648)

Show was Walking Dead on AMC. They referenced it briefly in the article.

That's the one ... it was really well done. Though, it seemed like they played a marathon of season 1, and then just stopped. I was looking forward to more of it ... oh well, at least they're making a Zombieland sequel. :-P

I think it's hilarious that that they've got someone with the savvy to disguise a real emergency preparedness message in a "zombie apocalypse" thing ... too funny!

Re:Hmmm ... (1)

hellkyng (1920978) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183628)

The TV show was most likely AMC's The Walking Dead. They make it to the CDC right before it automatically self destructs to prevent the spread of the various other diseases they are keeping in storage: http://science.slashdot.org/story/11/05/18/1539244/US-Preserves-Smallpox-For-Defense [slashdot.org]

nation unites to end 400 year chosen ones holycost (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183446)

that's the spirit. no more zombie behavior out of this crowd. thanks.

what we're 'giving up'; no wonder it's to be decreed this day that the god given chosen ones' holycost must be extendead until at least 2025, because of our fear, & the # of us, which both are big. disarmament is catching on all over the globe. so we'll clearly be at some advantage, & the rest of the world will continue to bow down, suck up, & just re-fear us in general. it worked for us until it didn't, now it's not our fault if a lot more death & destruction is done because THEY won't listen/give us their resources, even though we need them to keep the dream a lie for another day. when self-importants of our guys get nailed, it's ALWAYS 'former' head..., alleged, unproven blah blah blah. innocent until ,,, unless. terrorific example of regimes run amok.

still waiting? more stand-up talknician routines. more threatening now? will the FSF guys be arrested for sex crimes too? julians, adrians, everybody's at risk, of being arrested, or worse. scary? 13 year old tagged by ss.gov at school for unapproved tweeting. so we're safe from him now. the key to the bells & whistles of just one city is way too much trust to put in one human. our/our planet's fate however, is different?

same old; how many 1000 babys going up in smoke again today? how many 1000's of just folks to be killed or displaced again today? hard to put $$ on that. the cost of constant deception, to our spirit? paying to have ourselves constantly spied on & lied to by freaky self chosen neogod depopulationers? the biblically styled fatal distraction holycost is all encompassing, & never ends while we're still alive, unless we cut them/ourselves off at the wmd. good luck with that, as it's not even a topic anywhere we get to see, although in real life it's happening everywhere as our walking dead weapons peddlers are being uncontracted. you can call this weather if it makes you feel any better. no? read the teepeeleaks etchings.

so, once one lie is 'infactated', the rest becomes just more errant fatal history.

disarm. tell the truth. the sky is not ours to toy with after all?

you call this 'weather'? what with real history racing up to correct
itself, while the chosen one's holycostal life0cider mediots continually
attempt to rewrite it, fortunately, there's still only one version of the
truth, & it's usually not a long story, or a confusing multiple choice
fear raising event.

wouldn't this be a great time to investigate the genuine native elders social & political leadership initiative, which includes genuine history as put forth in the teepeeleaks etchings. the natives still have no words in their language to describe the events following their 'discovery' by us, way back when. they do advise that it's happening again.

who has all the weapons? who is doing MOST of the damage? what are the motives? are our intentions & will as the ones who are supposed to be being represented honestly & accurately, being met? we have no reference to there being ANY public approval for the current mayhem & madness pr firm regime style self chosen neogod rulership we've allowed to develop around us, so we wouldn't have to stop having fun, & doing things that have nothing to do with having to defend from the smoke&mirrors domestic frenetics, of the unproven genocides. rockets exploding in syria fired from Libya? yikes?

the zeus weather weapon is still being used indiscriminately against the population, our rulers' minions are fleeing under fire.

the whore of babylon has been rescued by the native elders. she has the papers of challenge authored by the hymenical council, & is cooperating wholeheartedly with the disarmament mandate.
disarm. thank you.

censorship, or convenience?
Due to excessive bad posting from this IP or Subnet, anonymous comment
posting has temporarily been disabled. You can still login to post.
However, if bad posting continues from your IP or Subnet that privilege
could be revoked as well. If it's you, consider this a chance to sit in
the timeout corner or login and improve your posting. If it's someone
else, this is a chance to hunt them down. If you think this is bogus, you are right moderation@slashdot.org with your MD5'd IPID and SubnetID, (which have been maliciously edited from time to time for effect by /.censory)
which are always changing, you butthead

Specialist training (1)

Flipstylee (1932884) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183472)

Weapons are fine but make sure you have your handy dandy welder, it seems trivial, but once a scrake sneaks up on you it's all over but the cryin.

really (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183482)

slashdot used to be cutting edge news......sadly this was an article on almost every other news site for the past few days

Zombie Awareness (1)

VortexCortex (1117377) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183500)

May is Zombie Awareness Month. [zombieresearch.org]
( Well, actually, there are many unofficial dates set, so I observer all of them! )

Zombie Awareness Day [blogspot.com] is a great time to check your friends and family for bite marks and other tell tale "infected" behavior, and to review & revise your Zombie Plan (Think Fire Escape Plan -- Except that you're prepared to keep running for months after you safely exit the premises).

Which brings me to my next point: It's time to make sure you have your Zombie Preparedness Kit in order -- It's basically a Hurricane or Earthquake preparedness kit, with more shotguns and shells.

Remember -- "Shoot it in the head, it stays dead.", and have a Happy Zombie Awareness Month!

Re:Zombie Awareness (1)

Opportunist (166417) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183822)

Infected behaviour? You ARE aware that most of my friends are geeks, right? If I had to shoot them if they behaved apathetic, have pale skin, communicate in grunts or have questionable odor, I wouldn't have friends anymore!

Who are they kidding? (1)

Reservoir Penguin (611789) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183510)

I've read the ZSG twice and I think I'm pretty well prepared. With the FA the bureaucrats over at CDC just want to cover their asses, there is little useful advise in the FA, no discussion of stockpiling weapons and ammo, nothing about preparing a retreat. In reality when ZA happens all kinds of government will be the first to go. Better get yourself a copy of the ZSG and read it cover to cover, including "Living in the undead world" chapter.

zombie repellent (1)

OglinTatas (710589) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183526)

I am disappointed that the list of items to keep in your emergency kit doesn't include a shotgun and a box of 12 ga. zombie repellent. Clearly they are not taking this seriously.

Re:zombie repellent (1)

Thud457 (234763) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183868)

I've got a rock that keeps zombies away, if you're interested. I assure you, the price is right.

No Shotgun?!? (2)

Tim12s (209786) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183596)

First article i've actually read fully before posting...

Under emergency kit I was expecting to find at least a shotgun listed.

Re:No Shotgun?!? (1)

Wyatt Earp (1029) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183852)

While I like the 12 gauge semi-automatic shotgun, I think the reloading time and small ammo tube is going to hamper you in the long run.

Handguns are marginal for range and stopping power, so my zombie regulator is a Marlin 1894C firing .44 Remington Magnum with a ported barrel. 6.5 pounds, 3 feet long, 9 shots and you can reload it without taking turning the gun around.

Also you can stand off out to 95 meters and still have a very good chance of a head or neck shot. Two-three Z lined up, a 44 will through and through one or two of them even at 90-95 meters.

Budget (0)

DarkOx (621550) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183602)

Still think a 15pct cross the board cutting of the Federal budget is out of line?

Zombies Spotted (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183734)

in downtown Atlanta traffic. As I write this, asldfkjlxv hcclZX c sad;f, the window of the anlkcxv x;i
is b' ak;sdj' broken,. .......... '
Zombies ............

Dial ........ News at 11.

Yours In Atlanta,
K. Trout

P.S.: I hear Slashdot is cover for a massive P2P music filesharing scam.

P.S.: Slashdot .

Maybe I just don't have a sense of humor... (1)

mark-t (151149) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183748)

Because I really don't see the point to this.

Writer's favorite zombie movie (1)

ndogg (158021) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183750)

FTFA:

my personal favorite is Resident EvilExternal Web Site Icon

Huh, I guess that must be the name of the next RE movie. Sounds interesting though. I wonder if they're going to have a Slashdot zombie. Maybe it will shun the outside, and refuse to leave its mother's basement, and still cry for brains.

Come down and eat chicken with me, beautiful. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183758)

It's so dark!

Zombies are already roaming... (1)

Lord Juan (1280214) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183766)

Maybe not the streets, but they are definitely roaming the governments of pretty much every nation.

CDC posting about a zombie outbreak, eh? (1)

Anubis IV (1279820) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183794)

What do they know that we don't...?

Zombie outbreak would be a trainwreck in slomotion (1)

Schwhat (1993980) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183896)

Zombies have no morality about spreading the disease. They just instinctively do so. What makes a zombie outbreak work so well is because humanity will treat it like a train wreck in slow motion. They see the zombies coming, and they can prevent it from spreading it, but too many people humanize the infected and are unwilling to de-humanize themselves to prevent the outbreak from happening. So the majority will argue with their inner-selves with morality about killing what they consider humans until it's too late for themselves to escape.

Booooo (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36183920)

Article sounds condescending. Notice how they leave any form of self-protection off from their survival kit, they obviously do not want you to protect yourself from anything. The author clearly wants the zombies to win.

Discrimination Lawsuit (2)

NicknamesAreStupid (1040118) | more than 3 years ago | (#36183928)

I see it coming any minute -- some lawyer is going to say Zombies are a protected class and the government is showing prejudice. A lot of undead are going to get rich off this, if they file to be part of the claimant pool (a.k.a. undead pool). Of course, Zombies are notorious slackers when it comes to paperwork. So, lawyers will get most of the award yet again.
Load More Comments
Slashdot Account

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?

Don't worry, we never post anything without your permission.

Submission Text Formatting Tips

We support a small subset of HTML, namely these tags:

  • b
  • i
  • p
  • br
  • a
  • ol
  • ul
  • li
  • dl
  • dt
  • dd
  • em
  • strong
  • tt
  • blockquote
  • div
  • quote
  • ecode

"ecode" can be used for code snippets, for example:

<ecode>    while(1) { do_something(); } </ecode>
Create a Slashdot Account

Loading...