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I live in Vegas so (4, Funny)

makubesu (1910402) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198772)

I'll probably have to check the internet to see if it actually happened tomorrow night.

I live in Japan so... (1)

shoemilk (1008173) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198902)

I live in Japan so that magical time is only 6 hours away. I'll be hitting it first, so be sure to follow me on twitter @SoThisIsRapture to find out what you're in store for!

I live in New Zealand so... (1)

supertrinko (1396985) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199014)

I live in New Zealand so it's only a bit over two hours away for me.

Re:I live in Vegas so (1)

betterunixthanunix (980855) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198908)

Why wait? It should already be happening in Asia right now; I imagine it has already made the news.

Too bad that guy on Usenet refused to sign the "You can have all my possessions after the rapture" contract with me.

Re:I live in Vegas so (5, Funny)

DJRumpy (1345787) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198928)

Last Post!

Go, go, Godzirrah (1)

arth1 (260657) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199070)

Why wait? It should already be happening in Asia right now; I imagine it has already made the news.

Well, in Japan, they get the really BIG ones.

[rereads] Oh, rapture. Never mind, then.

Re:Go, go, Godzirrah (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36199092)

Everyone knows the Japanese have small penises, don't try and lie to the contrary.

jacking off (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198776)

and first posting :)

Set piles of clothes out (5, Funny)

PitaBred (632671) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198778)

I'm planning on setting piles of clothes out on the sidewalk. Should be good for a laugh :)

Re:Set piles of clothes out (5, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198830)

The nasty plan I saw was spare shoes with dry ice in them. Or inflatable... dolls filled with helium let to float into the sky.

Re:Set piles of clothes out (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198858)

THis! I've got an outfit ready and waiting to grace the lawn of my apartment building.

Re:Set piles of clothes out (1)

X86Daddy (446356) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199026)

Add dry ice.

Fap, fap, fap! (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198782)

Masturbating.

Re:Fap, fap, fap! (0, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198814)

Masturbating.

Can I watch?

At work (5, Funny)

Nidi62 (1525137) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198788)

I'll be at work, waiting for my shift to end in 3.5 hours. At that point, I would probably welcome an apocalyptic earthquake.

Re:At work (5, Funny)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198962)

I'll be at work, waiting for my shift to end in 3.5 hours. At that point, I would probably welcome an apocalyptic earthquake.

I'll be at work and an apocalypse would be just Business As Usual.

Killing zombies (4, Funny)

saleenS281 (859657) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198792)

I will be killing zombies. With fire. Just brushed up on my cardio and stocked up on twinkies so I think I'm legit.

Re:Killing zombies (2)

chill (34294) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198866)

Been reading the Centers for Disease Control website [cdc.gov] , have you?

Re:Killing zombies (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198970)

The dead are supposed to rise, the Christians to rise in the Rapture, and the rest to suffer with us

I have bellsprouts planted outside my house (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198958)

to shoot peas at any zombies that may approach.

Loaded question! (5, Funny)

DWMorse (1816016) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198796)

You're just trying to get us to admit that we'll be gearing up to loot our local Frys, Best Buys, and other such electronic appliance stores.

Re:Loaded question! (1)

oldmac31310 (1845668) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198848)

I suppose the mention of electronic stores makes this story somewhat relevant on /.

Going out on a limb here... (5, Funny)

t33jster (1239616) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198804)

RTFM. Matthew 24:36.

Even if the world does happen to end tomorrow, it's not because this kook knew it.

Re:Going out on a limb here... (5, Informative)

ZaphDingbat (451843) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198892)

Then perhaps you missed the one two verses before that: "I tell you the truth, this generation will certainly not pass away until all these things have happened."

Perhaps even a little of: "I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom." Matthew 16:28.

Or: "After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever." I Thessalonians 4:17.

"Dear children, this is the last hour; and as you have heard that the antichrist is coming, even now many antichrists have come. This is how we know it is the last hour." I John 2:18

"This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none..." I Corinthians 7:29.

"They said to you, 'In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.' These are the people who divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit." Jude 18-19.

I don't think Harold Camping was the first kook by a looong shot.

Re:Going out on a limb here... (1)

nickb64 (1885128) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199010)

there are those who claim the quote about some not tasting death was fulfilled with the Tranfiguration, according to my NIV study Bible's notes in the bottom of the pages.

Re:Going out on a limb here... (2, Insightful)

biryokumaru (822262) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198900)

What makes this kook any more kooky than the kook who wrote that trash?

Re:Going out on a limb here... (1)

arth1 (260657) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199012)

He has radio?

Seriously, as long as there is a negative correlation between intelligence and fecundity, there will not be a shortage of kooks and followers.

Re:Going out on a limb here... (1)

oztiks (921504) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198998)

I take my mortality advice from http://www.deathclock.com/ [deathclock.com]

He really should look into that site before making any rash judgments it tell ya!

Re:Going out on a limb here... (1)

timeOday (582209) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199028)

You can always find a loophole. That verse just says nobody knew the day and hour a couple thousand years ago. Who's to say it hasn't been determined or revealed since?

Im going to be jerking off (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198806)

In my own face

Re:Im going to be jerking off (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198952)

It's the Rapture. I don't know, it just seems like we should do something out of the ordinary for once.

The Brain (5, Funny)

chill (34294) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198818)

The same thing we do EVERY night, Pinky -- try to take over the world!

Re:The Brain (1, Funny)

Scott64 (1181495) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198924)

NARF!

Re:The Brain (2)

Moryath (553296) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199034)

I'm on a rampage!

Re:The Brain (1, Funny)

Samantha Wright (1324923) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199060)

I'm on a horse.

Re:The Brain (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198982)

Barney Fwank will be doing something involving a German Shepherd and a bottle of Astroglide.

How can it be tied to local time zone? (1)

Joe The Dragon (967727) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198820)

How can it be tied to local time zone? and not just 1 time for all of them?

Re:How can it be tied to local time zone? (3, Funny)

saleenS281 (859657) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198844)

Because God created timezones, duh!

Re:How can it be tied to local time zone? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198856)

I think I have read that the guys theory is it will be an earthquake that ripples west, and probably happens to go at the exact speed to affect every time zone at 6PM locally every time.

why does that sound like a bad sci-fi moive (0)

Joe The Dragon (967727) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198910)

why does that sound like a bad sci-fi moive?

Re:How can it be tied to local time zone? (5, Insightful)

LordRobin (983231) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198916)

This is by far and away the single most hilarious thing about this prediction. Time zones are established by man's laws, yet this heavenly event is supposed to follow them. So let me get this straight:

-- If I live on the border of the Eastern and Central time zones, and see my friends floating into the air, and I don't want to go yet (because I want to tweet to everybody about what I saw), I can run a few feet to the east, and God will grant me 60 more minutes on Earth?
-- Will God start the Rapture in Venezuela 30 minutes before the rest of South America?
-- What about the International Date Line? Will some islands have to wait a full day to be raptured?
-- And God respects Daylight Savings Time too?

That last one makes me think... Y'know, if God is bound to obey the local time set by the local laws of the local humans, what's to stop a government from passing a law turning the clocks ahead one hour precisely one minute after 5:59 PM? No rapture for you, comades!

------RM

Re:How can it be tied to local time zone? (1)

retroworks (652802) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198948)

Used all my mods up, but you are 4 baby

Re:How can it be tied to local time zone? (2)

hawguy (1600213) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198984)

This is by far and away the single most hilarious thing about this prediction. Time zones are established by man's laws, yet this heavenly event is supposed to follow them. So let me get this straight:

Timezones were created so everyone sees the sun rise and set at the same (approximate) time. Timezones don't obey Man's law, they obey God's law.

Re:How can it be tied to local time zone? (1)

HornWumpus (783565) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199058)

Time shift with longitude obeys God's law.

1 hour integer jumps are mans (railroad operators actually) invention.

Railroad schedules where hell when each stop had it's own time offset.

Re:How can it be tied to local time zone? (2)

Allicorn (175921) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198986)

Any time you see something that doesn't make sense... ...a wizard did it.

Re:How can it be tied to local time zone? (2)

oztiks (921504) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199094)

The problem I have with this Mayan and other silly calendar based EOD prophecies. Since I was indoctrinated by Roman Catholic values (thanks mom and dad!) one thing I know is that the Caesar occupation of Rome lead to the butchering of our 10month calendar ... October is the 10th month of the year FFS and July and August was introduced out of some need to satisfy a bunch of ancient egotistical usurpers.

I never really did the math but if you were to ever use our contemporary calendar to predict anything that factors in events pre AD events your going to over shoot it by at least few years!

Surprising no body ever factors in the little details :)

Money (1)

igreaterthanu (1942456) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198850)

You still have time to mail me a check. I promise not to bank it until the 23rd :)

You have nothing to lose!

It's not a coincidence... (1)

PhilipOfOregon (771069) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198852)

The Zombie Apocalypse happens at the same time! PhilipOfOregon

No sense holding back. (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198854)

I'm going to turn my virus scanner off and just enjoy the shit out of the extra speed.

Looting (1)

Qatz (1209584) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198860)

Probably looting the houses of those who disappeared. After all they won't be needing the stuff.

Do Over in 2012 (1)

retroworks (652802) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198870)

This is the PSAT Rapture tomorrow. The SAT Rapture, according to the (Americas) Mayan Calendar is 2012. There may be some delays and syncronizing tomorrow, but be sure to pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

So if this doesn't happen... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198874)

does that mean religion is proved to be bullshit? Cause I really hope it does.

Re:So if this doesn't happen... (2, Funny)

bky1701 (979071) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198918)

Silly atheist. Religion doesn't have to be true for people to buy into it. That's the beauty of it. Most Christians would probably shit themselves if it turned out to be true.

Re:So if this doesn't happen... (3, Insightful)

captjc (453680) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198960)

No, just that some dude and his followers are whack-jobs.

Hmm... (1)

joocemann (1273720) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198876)

I can't handle the crazy porn you get tricked into already... Hell on earth versions will be horrifying!!

trust no one

Lol. See yall in december 2012, worried about the same babble.

nt (1)

shentino (1139071) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198880)

I'm going short on holy water.

Make the story end (0)

Mean Variance (913229) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198882)

The only thing worse than the attention to this ridiculous "story" is all the predictable jokes that come from it.

"I guess I don't to pay my bills since the world is going to end." If I had a nickel for every variant of that joke I've heard, ...

Get a life everyone.

Re:Make the story end (1)

jewelises (739285) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198946)

You could create a lot of variants if you just randomly drop a word from each one.

Re:Make the story end (0)

Dachannien (617929) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198968)

The only thing worse than the attention to this ridiculous "story" is all the predictable jokes that come from it.

Can I have your stereo?

Re:Make the story end (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198990)

Get a life everyone.

I see what you did there....

Left Behind (1)

oldmac31310 (1845668) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198884)

I think I'll be left behind. I certainly don't want to be 'raptured' with the kind of assholes that believe in that nonsense! So does this mean I shouldn't bother buying new shoes tomorrow?

Re:Left Behind (1)

hawguy (1600213) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199008)

I think I'll be left behind. I certainly don't want to be 'raptured' with the kind of assholes that believe in that nonsense! So does this mean I shouldn't bother buying new shoes tomorrow?

Isn't there supposed to be 5 months of pain and suffering after the Rapture and before the end of the world? If that's the case, you may as well buy those shoes - after all, there may be plenty of suffering in the post rapture world, but that's no reason you should have to suffer in worn out shoes.

Look for something that's brimstone resistant.

Steal all of the catholic church's gold! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198894)

They've been acquiring it for a millenia.

EAT TO THE BEAT !! (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198896)

Toe to toe
Dancing very close
Barely breathing
Almost comatose
Wall to wall
People hypnotised
And they're stepping lightly
Hang each night in Rapture

Back to back
Sacrailiac
Spineless movement
And a wild attack

Face to face
Sadly solitude
And it's finger popping
Twenty-four hour shopping in Rapture

Fab Five Freddie told me everybody's high
DJ's spinnin' are savin' my mind
Flash is fast, Flash is cool
Francois sez fas, Flashe' no do
And you don't stop, sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And you get in your car and you drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin' cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercuries and Subarus
And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars
Then, when there's no more cars
You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
One to one, man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move too slow, 'cause the man from Mars
Is through with cars, he's eatin' bars
Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture, be pure
Take a tour, through the sewer
Don't strain your brain, paint a train
You'll be singin' in the rain
I said don't stop, do punk rock

Well now you see what you wanna be
Just have your party on TV
'Cause the man from Mars won't eat up bars when the TV's on
And now he's gone back up to space
Where he won't have a hassle with the human race
And you hip-hop, and you don't stop
Just blast off, sure shot
'Cause the man from Mars stopped eatin' cars and eatin' bars
And now he only eats guitars, get up!

Re:EAT TO THE BEAT !! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36199086)

wish I had mods...

HR gets in the way of planning (5, Funny)

hawguy (1600213) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198898)

My HR department vetoed my plan to survey the IT staff to see if they were expecting to be raptured. Some crap about religious discrimination or something.

Not that I'm worried, I think we're only going to lose one IT guy to Rapture, and no one wants to hang out with him anyway.

Finding people... (4, Funny)

bky1701 (979071) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198904)

...who thought the rapture would come, and asking them the obvious question, "Where is your god now?"

soap box derby (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198912)

I'll be at the soap box derby in down town LA

Watch the Preakness... (1)

doctechniqal (516085) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198914)

... and see if Animal Kingdom can pull off another win.

I Will Remain Calm (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198926)

I plan to remain calm as the rapture happens. I have full confidence that our political leaders will not be ascending to heaven. So I am comfortable knowing that when rapture based emergencies transpire, our leadership has committed enough sins to be here on earth when we need them.

Visiting rapturefail.org (5, Insightful)

g_adams27 (581237) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198930)

Visiting and/or updating rapturefail.org [rapturefail.org] , and hoping that Harold Camping's followers take to heart the open letter [rapturefail.org] on that site:

Many of you will be tempted to go back to the scriptures in search of new clues for a new date. Let me plead with you to consider instead the importance of solid, basic, principles of reading and interpreting the Bible and stop looking for hidden or secret “truths.” In particular, let me encourage you always to be suspect of any major emphases in any person’s teachings that are founded on allegorical teachings. In particular, be very careful around those who push numerological interpretations. Numerology has some basis in truth, but it is highly subjective and should be approached very humbly, very cautiously, and definitely with a “less-is-more” attitude. The Bible is not a puzzle to be unraveled or a set of hidden numerical clues. What God says He says openly. Live in the clear passages of the Bible and be very suspect of those who claim to have discovered major truths in some of the more obscure portions.

Re:Visiting rapturefail.org (0, Flamebait)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36199042)

I just wish Christians would figure out that the Old Testament is just Jewish myth and that the New Testament has been edited so much that many of Jesus' teachings have been overshadowed by the hocus pocus BS and the BS about him being the Son of God.

Jesus - awesome spiritual teacher and philosopher.

Christianity - One fucked up superstitious horseshit - well, RELIGION.

Some brilliant individual comes along and teaches the truth and then people have to add bullshit, superstition, and other garbage and turn it into a religion. All religions have this problem.

An old story: A demon in a panic runs up to the Devil and says, "Master, we're doomed!"

The Devil asks, "What? What?"

"There's someone up there teaching the Truth!"

"Silly Demon! Someone will turn his teachings into a religion and we'll have more business than ever!"

Re:Visiting rapturefail.org (2)

jesseck (942036) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199072)

You know, somewhere in the Bible it says that we won't know when the Rapture happens... so I welcome these predictions. It theoretically prolongs our time on Earth.

prediction (0)

bcrowell (177657) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198932)

Well, I'm not sure what I'll be doing at 6:00, but I do have plans for 6:01. Certain people claim the Bible unambiguously predicts that the world is going to end at 6:00. Assuming that this prediction turns out to be false, at 6:01 I will be waiting expectantly to hear the news that those people now believe the Bible is not 100% true.

Its good to know an Atheist (5, Funny)

hedgemage (934558) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198936)

I am a follower of "that Jesus guy" and while I am very skeptical of the prediction, I made sure to ask an atheist friend of mine to feed my cat after I ascend. I mean, it would be pretty dickish of me to leave my cat to starve, wouldn't it? After all, it will only be for 6 months until the complete end of the world.

Re:Its good to know an Atheist (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36199102)

We have that one covered [eternal-ea...d-pets.com] .

first sign (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198942)

Only a half hour to go in kiritimati

Ackbar says... (1)

cozzbp (1845636) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198944)

It's A Trap!

Christians think this guy is insane (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198950)

I'm a Christian, and I don't know a single person who has fallen for this. The overwhelming majority of Christians think this guy is a NUT.

Now, Obama being the Antichrist... no, but he's doing a real good impression.

Re:Christians think this guy is insane (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36199064)

An overwhelming majority of Christians think Jesus is alive in heaven and his mom never had sex. They shouldn't talk about nuts.

Re:Christians think this guy is insane (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36199082)

Yea. They had a pastor on NPR today talking about the nut as well. My family is pretty devout and not one even gave this dude a second thought.

What a tool.

Bacon cheeseburgers (1)

oldhack (1037484) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198964)

Swallow those down, as many as you can, along with fries, and wash it down with icecream shakes.

Interesting (1)

jayhawk88 (160512) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198972)

6 pm local time is when we've scheduled to end our maintenance time at work tomorrow, replacing the core switch. Huh. I guess it's not going to go so well.

Sorry, everyone. If I'd have known that my work network was in actuality running a virtual instance of the known universe, I wouldn't have ignored all those Kerberos errors. Although in retrospect, a half-ass, thrown together Active Directory environment does explain a lot about the world we live in.

Staying home, avoiding morons. (1)

wierd_w (1375923) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198974)

Not withstanding the lack of internal support for such a foolish thing as the rapture from within the insular and circular reasoning of biblical scriptures, nor the aburd levels of improbability that such a thing is even remotely possible--- coupled with the infinite capacity for human stupidity-- I have decided that tomorrow I will stay home, do laundry, and get my house ready for a friend of mine who intends to come visit me over Memorial Day week.

By evening time, If I havent been hoover vaccuum cleanered up into the celestial host against my will, I will be sitting back and drinking a nice glass of iced tea while I read about all the "Dissapointed" people who got all excited about this sillyness.

Afterwards I might play some good old Halflife 2, or watch a movie from netflix. I think Constantine might make a good choice, if it is available for streaming.

Sigh... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198988)

The only thing that annoys me more than religious fanatics, are wannabe sciencefags who make sarcastic religious jokes. Can't we all just get along and lead a normal life?

PC Repair (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36198992)

Interestingly enough, I am scheduled to repair a friends computer at that time. I wonder of the IT savvs shall be saved? WE ARE THE CHOSEN PEOPLE!

I'll be toasting an absent friend... (1)

ridgecritter (934252) | more than 3 years ago | (#36198996)

At 6pm local Saturday, my wife and I will be hoisting a glass (or six [ or ten]) with many others in celebration of a friend and next-door neighbor who died in February. I doubt very much the Rapture will haul me off to an encounter with said departed (he was rather a rascal as well as an atheist, and as I understand it the Rapture is a tramway to Heaven, which is unlikely to be my friend's abode in the mythical afterlife...) but I'll play along until sunset, at which time I'll look about for evidence of the End of the World. If I don't see it, we'll party on for a few hours and then walk across the street to home for a good night's sleep. I'll check the Web Sunday morning to see what Mr. Camping is up to, but I'm not anticipating fire, brimstone, locusts, cats & dogs living together, or any other signs that it was a mistake to have bought green bananas at Whole Foods on Wednesday. Just another lazy Sunday in NoCal.

Googling "Pre-Rapture Suicide Methods" (4, Funny)

Greyfox (87712) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199006)

Over and over, trying to get it on trends. That'd be good for a laugh.

Re:Googling "Pre-Rapture Suicide Methods" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36199096)

Yes but afterwards the Feds (which we know will still be here) will claim that you did.

Jetpack gogogo (2)

mustPushCart (1871520) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199022)

I am obviously going to build my jetpack. It should give me enough altitude incase you know i dont get caught up in the clouds myself (and looking at my pron collection its not likely). So I am going to jetpack up and grab on to one of those bible thumpers legs (hopefully it'll have a skirt on it which would be a great inflight movie) and totally get into like... heaven or whatever.

To all the apocalypse believers (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36199036)

You are the gods. You are the solution. You are the Path. If there is to be a better world, or no world, it will be because of your actions; not those of an invisible sky genie. You're here because the World is yours, not because you've been banished.

I'll be keeping Gitmo open (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36199040)

And listening to your boring-ass phone calls to Granny every weekend.

How do you like my new war in Libya? Anyone wondering why I'm not also using the "human rights" excuse to bomb Syria? Me too! Woopee!

Women still aren't allowed to drive in Saudi Arabia, Iran still executes fags, but the problem with the Middle East is definitely Israel.

Sincerely,
Obammy Strangelove
Flip-Flopper In Chief

No Backups (1)

jesseck (942036) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199044)

I didn't worry about switching drives for backups this weekend, and won't troubleshoot some SIP trunks. What's the point- the backups won't survive the disaster and no one will be able to come to work Monday.

I'll be in drag (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36199052)

I'm a 24 year old man today and I'll be celebrating my birthday, drunk on a rooftop in a long red dress.

obligatory Matthew 24 (1)

cats-paw (34890) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199054)

"But concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only."

So what creative interpretation allows a mere mortal access to this information ?

And when that time comes, will the Slashdot Preview be made to work faster ?

I am going to have sex with the first girl I see. (1)

lordfoul (108260) | more than 3 years ago | (#36199088)

Unfortunately I live in my Moms basement... Sorry Dad

Clearly You Need To Read The Facts (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36199100)

This is an article with 3 different people on the coming apocalypse.
http://theblitzbit.com/2011/05/20/judgement-day-is-coming-not-in-may/

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