Beta
×

Welcome to the Slashdot Beta site -- learn more here. Use the link in the footer or click here to return to the Classic version of Slashdot.

Thank you!

Before you choose to head back to the Classic look of the site, we'd appreciate it if you share your thoughts on the Beta; your feedback is what drives our ongoing development.

Beta is different and we value you taking the time to try it out. Please take a look at the changes we've made in Beta and  learn more about it. Thanks for reading, and for making the site better!

Ars Technica Review Slams Duke Nukem Forever

CmdrTaco posted more than 3 years ago | from the huge-shocker-here dept.

First Person Shooters (Games) 462

Kethinov writes "Ars Technica writes one of their most negative reviews of a game in a long time, referring to Duke Nukem Forever as 'barely playable' and 'one of the worst games from a major studio in quite some time. The jokes border on hateful. The graphics are a blurry mess. The shooting is unsatisfying.' Their verdict? Skip this one."

Sorry! There are no comments related to the filter you selected.

duh? (5, Insightful)

jaymz666 (34050) | more than 3 years ago | (#36434928)

Really? Was there any doubt?

Re:duh? (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435028)

It's reminding me of Daikatana. I guess George Broussard just made us his bitch.

Re:duh? (5, Informative)

TheRaven64 (641858) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435100)

Yes. I was expecting something that was a pretty average game with a decent feeling of nostalgia. It sounds like this is an incredibly bad game that's superficially similar to Duke3D, but without any of the things that made the game fun at the time. This is quite sad, because Duke Nukem: Manhattan Project was a lot of fun. If you haven't played it, gog.com has it for $5.99 [gog.com] : I got it for $2.99 in their christmas sale and played it all the way to the end - lots of fun and exactly the kind of humour and gratuitous violence that I remember from duke3d, without the need for achievement for picking up your own shit (read the review: that's really in DNF).

Re:duh? (5, Interesting)

Canazza (1428553) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435280)

It certainly does seem that what made Duke Nukem 3D Awesome is missing from DNF. They've taken Halo and added Tits and dick jokes.
While Duke is all for Tits and dick Jokes, it was also about fast-paced action, gratuitous violence and incredibly complicated maze-like levels. Which DNF lacks utterly. In other words, it has the facade of Duke but lacks the deeper gameplay that made DN3D fantastic.

Re:duh? (5, Informative)

Kelbear (870538) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435464)

Well, I'm almost done with it.

For one, the console versions take an eternity to load by all accounts. The PC version loads each level in about 8-10 seconds (my pc is nothing special, it's been 3-4 years since I've changed any parts).

I'd give it a 6.5 or 7. The bit in the review about killing the rape victims was spot on. It wasn't funny at all. It went from crass to disgustingly callous.

But setting that aside, the ancient gameplay is strangely refreshing in comparison to the bevy of modern military shooters that have flooded the market. It's a game from a different era in gaming, for better or for worse. It takes you through a pretty entertaining variety of levels that military shooters will never attempt to do.

The combat feels good. The weapons feel good. The humor aside from the situation mentioned above, is the kind of low-brow humor you expect. The graphics are subpar as you might expect, but older gamers, particularly those who have played Duke3D, should have no problem with less-than-bleeding edge graphics. Haven't run into any bugs on the PC version.

I am definitely getting a strange sense of nostalgic value here, even though the Duke Nukem experience is fairly limited. It's really the old gameplay design that is driving the nostalgia. As I play, I think to myself, "Yeah, 13 years ago, this was what they thought would be awesome to have in a game." I particularly enjoy these throwback areas. There are some modern design conventions brought to the table, for better or for worse. 2-weapon limit, regenerating health, good checkpoint placement, player path indicators in level design (such as putting a bright lamppost next to the path out of the area).

Older players from the Duke3D era should get some enjoyment here. Newer players will probably just get tripped up on all the cludgy game design they haven't seen before, but older gamers still remember and have developed a thicker skin against. To be frank, the game is not good, but there is still fun to be had here.

Now that Gearbox has finally put this beast to rest, I wonder what they could do with the license starting from scratch?

Re:duh? (1)

Blue Stone (582566) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435230)

No, not in the minds of most people. It was always going to be pants; neither the anticipation or the expectation could possibly be matched.

If anyone connected with the [projectile vomits into nearby bucket] franchise, has any sense they'll do something genuinely innovative and interesting with it after they've earned a few dollars from the dup... er ... people who bought this episode in the DN story.

Nobody hold their breath.

Re:duh? (1)

DrXym (126579) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435364)

No, not in the minds of most people. It was always going to be pants; neither the anticipation or the expectation could possibly be matched.

If anyone connected with the [projectile vomits into nearby bucket] franchise, has any sense they'll do something genuinely innovative and interesting with it after they've earned a few dollars from the dup... er ... people who bought this episode in the DN story.

Nobody hold their breath.

Hype / expectations or not, a technically competent game would probably been received pretty well. It seems like it wasn't that either.

Re:duh? (3, Funny)

Thud457 (234763) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435380)

even more recent titles such as Serious Sam

heh.

Re:duh? (1)

wisnoskij (1206448) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435522)

Actually the footage and screens I have seen (especially the old stuff), looks decent to quite good.

One of many (2)

mrxak (727974) | more than 3 years ago | (#36434944)

I read this one this morning, but there are a lot of equally bad reviews out there, and a pitiful few mediocre ones.

Re:One of many (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435050)

the game is bad, not the review.

Software Release dates slip ... (1)

Cassini2 (956052) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435056)

People do not set out to write vaporware. Release dates slip when the software is not fit for release.

Sometimes, bad software design decisions cannot be fixed.

Re:One of many (3, Interesting)

RogueyWon (735973) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435200)

Yes, IGN with a 5.5 seems to be one of the more generous scores - and IGN tend to "mark high" anyway. That's not a criticism of IGN - their scale is internally consistent and I know that a 5.5 from them is actually really quite bad.

I've posted my own review of DNF in my journal and basically agree with the overall consensus - that this is a really bad game.

I see comments below a lot of the reviews on the major sites defending the game, claiming that the reviewers are holding it up to unfair standards due to its development time. This isn't true. It's just a bad game which is not fun. If you compare it to any current major fps, it is horribly lacking. If you compare it against the better fpses from 5 years ago, it is horribly lacking. In many ways, it is horribly lacking compared to its own predecessor; Duke Nukem 3d.

Interesting to note that the console versions are being slammed even more than the PC versions. The Eurogamer "face-off" comparison made it clear that there is a clear hierarchy to the versions. The PC version is the best, though still desperately ugly. The PS3 version lacks some of what passes for graphical polish in the PC version. The 360 version is horribly, horribly broken. That's extremely unusual for an Unreal engine game, where the 360 would normally be expected to outperform the PS3.

Re:One of many (1)

hansamurai (907719) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435388)

Well, note that it's Unreal Engine 2.5, and not 3 which has been out for something like 5 years now.

Re:One of many (3, Insightful)

dunezone (899268) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435416)

I see comments below a lot of the reviews on the major sites defending the game, claiming that the reviewers are holding it up to unfair standards due to its development time.

PCGAMER gave it an 80%, giving it leniency for the years of development. If a car was 14 years in a development and came out at full price and didnt have an engine then I cant give it leniency when it cant compete with anything else on the market.

Re:One of many (4, Insightful)

RogueyWon (735973) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435460)

I hadn't spotted the PCGAMER review. That was a good, decent thing they did there, giving DNF 80%. They've sent out a nice clear signal that I should absolutely never let any of their reviews factor into a purchasing decision. Good of them to give me a warning like that, wasn't it? Refreshingly honest, in a curious way.

This is not an 80% game. Five years ago, it might just about have been a 50% game. In fact, even that's generous. Resistance: Fall of Man is a vaguely similar fps which launched with the PS3 around 5 years ago and it is infinitely superior to DNF in every conceivable way.

Re:One of many (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435484)

PCGAMER gave it an 80%, giving it leniency for the years of development. If a car was 14 years in a development and came out at full price and didnt have an engine then I cant give it leniency when it cant compete with anything else on the market.

People do exactly that with cars ... not doing so would reflect very badly on our proud Obamanation ever since Government Motors became Government Motors.

Re:One of many (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435232)

Except PCGAMER, they gave the game an 80% and basically sugar coat all the problems by saying, "well what did you expect after 14 years of development LOL". Well ill tell you what I expected, a game that could compete for my $60 over another title. The game gets no wiggle room PCGAMER, you review the game to today's standards.

Just from the demo you could conclude:

The graphics are terrible but they made sure to make everything look wet and glossy in a terrible attempt to hide this problem.

The level design is horrendous.

The game feels unpolished and rushed.

The character animation is bad.

The weapons are boring and uninspiring like Doom 3, oh and they implemented the stupid two gun limit system.

Thats just from the demo. And for PCGAMER to say "what did you expect?", like I said earlier, I expected a product that could compete for my cash. DNF can barely stand a leg against games Half-Life 2 which came out 7 years ago, let alone to anything current.

Re:One of many (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435296)

The reviews themselves were pretty bad, mainly bitching about the jokes and the misanthropy(that's what the game is about, why are you complaining?).

People play DN for 2 reasons, juvenile humor and laser mines in the toilet. But I repeat myself.

hmmmm...... (3, Informative)

robthebloke (1308483) | more than 3 years ago | (#36434954)

That game map in the review is indeed damning...

Re:hmmmm...... (2)

staticdragon (95211) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435076)

AFAIK that map is a critique of the modern 'rails' shooter rather than DNF in particular.

Re:hmmmm...... (1)

smitty777 (1612557) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435322)

That is correct. FTA: "The joke in the image below may have been about Doom and shooters in 2010, but it still fits when talking about Duke Nukem Forever."

Re:hmmmm...... (1)

Megane (129182) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435474)

It's not just shooters. FFXIII did that too.

Re:hmmmm...... (1)

Megane (129182) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435510)

Oops, I seem to have messed up the link to the map. Here's a link to the FFXIII map. [gamerevolution.com]

Lost interest when I saw the feces trailer (2, Insightful)

XxtraLarGe (551297) | more than 3 years ago | (#36434980)

I could tell they were appealing to the lowest common denominator when they released a trailer showing Duke throwing his own feces [youtube.com] . One of the dumbest things I ever heard of in a game, automatically made me lose all interest. I figured if they wasted time implementing something like that, the rest of the game would probably be just as dumb.

Re:Lost interest when I saw the feces trailer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435112)

See the comments on your linked video? The 'tubers loved it.

Re:Lost interest when I saw the feces trailer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435174)

Oh I'm sorry, you must not have played Duke3D.

Re:Lost interest when I saw the feces trailer (3, Insightful)

guruevi (827432) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435192)

Actually, stupid stuff like that is what you would want a Duke Nukem game to be. However most of the stuff is simply over the top while throughout the rest of the game it doesn't even involve any funniness nor keeping the old gameplay or even broad levels around. It has become a very linear, boring shooter.

TotalBiscuit said it best when he said: they kept all the bad stuff from old DOS games and all the bad stuff from new shooters and added it together. They made Duke an old man that can't jump, can't hold more than 2 guns and needs assistance in every fight.

Re:Lost interest when I saw the feces trailer (2)

maxwell demon (590494) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435284)

They made Duke an old man

Well, he certainly aged while waiting for the release. What did you expect? :-)

Re:Lost interest when I saw the feces trailer (4, Interesting)

ifrag (984323) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435350)

can't hold more than 2 guns and needs assistance in every fight

I'm starting to miss some of the old shooters due to this. Ammo hoarding and hidden super-weapon hunting were quite fun back in the day. Would be nice to see some games stop following the "realistic" formula and bring back the "arsenal on back" model. It's always satisfying to run into a new room, take a look over the enemies, and grin as you pull the perfect gun for the job out. To quote Unreal 2, "Show me the crowd pleaser."

Re:Lost interest when I saw the feces trailer (1)

loonycyborg (1262242) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435348)

Probably this game was meant as an insult to old duke fans implying that they have no place in the New Era of Casual Gaming.

Apparently nobody told the new IP owner... (4, Funny)

TWX (665546) | more than 3 years ago | (#36434982)

...that the whole point was that it actually was planned to be a joke, hence, "Forever", and that they weren't supposed to be working on it for real. Their only task was to load the 3d rendering program and to build another fake "screenshot" with some new changes to the old "screenshot" so that it looked like they were doing something.

They could have milked this another 20 years if they'd been smart, but NO, they had to go and actually try to build the thing...

Re:Apparently nobody told the new IP owner... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435136)

They finally cashed in on the hype and jokes.With enough hype, you can sell a shitload of copies before people realise it's shit. Hell, you can probably make more money that way than if you'd develop a good game.

Re:Apparently nobody told the new IP owner... (1)

TWX (665546) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435240)

Do we know their sales though? I last played Duke Nukem 3D probably in 1999 or so, and if my peer group was the target audience for the game, most of us are probably to the point of not really caring like they should have wanted us to.

If they'd have hyped it and released a crappy game around 5 years after DN3D (so '01 or so) then they probably could have gotten a lot more sales than this version did.

Re:Apparently nobody told the new IP owner... (2)

Sonny Yatsen (603655) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435144)

They should've waited another 40 years to release this, so we can have a time capsule in 2030 of popular culture in the late 80s to mid 90s.

14 years of hype (1, Insightful)

mandark1967 (630856) | more than 3 years ago | (#36434990)

are pretty hard to overcome...

Forget your pre-conceived notions of what Duke Nukem "should" be and just play it.

That's my plan, anyway.

If I find I don't like it, then I'll move on to another game.

Afterall, it isn't like it's the first game that didn't live up to the hype...

Re:14 years of hype (5, Insightful)

TheRaven64 (641858) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435022)

Read the review. He didn't say it didn't live up to the hype, he said it was a terrible game. The humour is not risque, it's just offensive. The gameplay was tedious, a cover-based shooter, but without any support for cover except walking around a corner. The levels were linear and unimaginative. The one good point he identified in the game was that it was short.

Re:14 years of hype (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435132)

humor being offensive is something personal. i don't think they will be able to include much humor that i would find offensive.
on the other hand, my grand mother might get a heart attack due to it.

Re:14 years of hype (1)

muckracer (1204794) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435496)

> humor being offensive is something personal. i don't think they will
> be able to include much humor that i would find offensive.
> on the other hand, my grand mother might get a heart attack due to
> it.

Mine already did. Damn you, Duke! :-/

Re:14 years of hype (1)

jawtheshark (198669) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435238)

One persons "offensive" is another persons "risqué". I read the whole thing and the write seems to object to the denigration of women. Has this person even payed the old Duke 3D? Strippers and women impregnated by aliens were a main theme. I wouldn't expect anything else from a new "Duke".

Re:14 years of hype (1)

cpu6502 (1960974) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435246)

It sounds like an excellent game.

If it had been released in 1999.

Re:14 years of hype (5, Insightful)

revscat (35618) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435044)

Hype? More like "running joke". DNF wasn't hyped so much as it was ridiculed and made the butt of jokes.

And not in a good way, either.

Re:14 years of hype (1)

Tridus (79566) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435172)

Sometimes something is just a bad game, and you shouldn't reward companies for putting out bad games by spending money on them.

This is one of those times.

Forget about Duke Nukem entirely. This fails as any kind of shooter.

Re:14 years of hype (1)

jaymz666 (34050) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435352)

So, basically, the hype is the age group this game is designed for? Maybe the game could play with itself. Oh, it is...

So, it's "done". (2)

kvezach (1199717) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435012)

And all I have to say is:

This is how the Duke ends,
this is how the Duke ends,
not with a bang, but with a whimper.

RIP!

Re:So, it's "done". (1)

drinkypoo (153816) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435098)

this is how the Duke ends,
not with a bang, but with a whimper.

Can I get a courtesy flush over here?
What did you eat?

I played the demo (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435042)

I got "early access" to the demo from having a copy of Borderlands. I played through it once and immediately deleted it. I'm not sure I would have liked this game if it came out 2 years after Duke Nukem 3D, forget 15 years later.

They would have just been better off cutting their losses and burying any remaining copies in the desert Atari style.

So... (5, Funny)

softWare3ngineer (2007302) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435064)

...we should wait for the sequel then ?

Re:So... (1)

gtch (1977476) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435430)

What comes after forever?

Re:So... (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435516)

Divorce?

in other news (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435074)

an fps is not a cultural work like shakespeare romeo and juliet... News at eleven!

Re:in other news (1)

Tridus (79566) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435184)

"an fps is not a cultural work like Meet the Spartans."

Fixed that for you.

Re:in other news (1)

maxwell demon (590494) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435208)

But the whole point of a game is being fun to play. Which according to the review DNF isn't.

Re:in other news (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435346)

Bioshock was a cultural work.

the WTF videos (5, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435080)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6MjzgTZriw [youtube.com]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5Yngipvz6M [youtube.com]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q86vWgaLuwE [youtube.com]

watch in that order, and you will see about a first couple of hours of gameplay along with the reviewer's impressions. Saved me some time otherwise possibly spent downloading and trying the game myself (let alone buying it).

"barely playable" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435084)

Playable huh...
good to know.

Offensive? (0)

parlancex (1322105) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435086)

Ah, thanks for putting "Rampantly Offensive" in your review title Ars, now I can safely close that tab and disregard the rest of your opinions. I'm not interested in reading a review that even assumes something can rampantly offensive. Obligatory SMBC http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2164 [smbc-comics.com]

Re:Offensive? (2)

MadChicken (36468) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435206)

1) Climb off high horse
2) Read review

Re:Offensive? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435270)

And you think Ars gives a shit about you not reading the review? An over inflated opinion of yourself, perhaps? Why not write to them instead of being a coward here?

Re:Offensive? (2)

TheRaven64 (641858) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435312)

Nah, he's just going to buy the game, realise it sucks, and then complain that no one warned him.

Re:Offensive? (3, Interesting)

RogueyWon (735973) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435292)

You know what? Under other circumstances I'd agree with you.

However, having actually played through the "alien hive" level mentioned in the review, I can't actually think of a better description of it. As the Ars Technica review states, that level made me feel almost physically dirty. Not in a good way, like after making an uncomfortable neutral or "dark side" choice in one of the better RPGs, but rather in a "I really wish I had never had to play that and never want to play it again" way.

Re:Offensive? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435402)

But that's what it is, dumbass. You would rather he described the game as an apparatus of flying unicorns?

Ouch... (1)

fuzzyfuzzyfungus (1223518) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435092)

While things like "humor" and achieving the correct position between "hilariously vulgar" and "just plain WTF??" are tricky, it is particularly damning that they managed to make a game that both looks thoroughly mediocre and runs poorly on a console that has been out long enough to be fairly well understood.

With licensable engines from people who know what they are doing(the Unreal engine, whatever ID is calling theirs these days, maybe lithtech, if they are still around), I could understand if they just licensed one of those, shovelled some half-assed art assets and crude humor into it and called it a day; but at least that would have run properly. Somehow, in 13 years of development, they managed to make a game that is neither aesthetically nor technically competent. That puts them in the hallowed ranks of games like Xtreme Paintbrawl, which is a problem since the MSRP is $60 not $5.

Full of grace and sensibility (-1, Offtopic)

Andrina (1869188) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435122)

When precise tip share the Super meet brow the 25 degree oblique arc are firmly grasp each root hair without error the roots get Full of grace and sensibility



Thomas Sabo charms [thomassabo...estore.net]

Agreed (1)

pak9rabid (1011935) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435134)

It's pretty terrible.

I only wonder... (0)

Lazy Jones (8403) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435154)

... was the reviewer even born when DNF was originally announced?

And yet it has been topping a few of the charts (2)

anomnomnomymous (1321267) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435162)

I played the demo the other day, and if people buy this and then complaint it's their own mistake. The demo already clearly showed in which areas it was lacking (bad animations, bad scripting,really lame humor/voice acting). Even though I've been a big fan of Duke3D, I just couldn't see this being worth my money. But all props to them that they actually released a demo; Most of the times the crappy games won't have a demo, because of aforementioned reasons.

What's wrong with calling it Faggs? (4, Funny)

kvvbassboy (2010962) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435182)

I am no gamer and I have no idea what Nuke Dukem is, and but I was amused that the author of the review was offended by this.

Duke Nukem Forever is the kind of game where you find a pack of cigarettes whose cover shows a mustached man wearing leather—and they're called "Faggs."

Re:What's wrong with calling it Faggs? (1)

errandum (2014454) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435196)

Exactly.

I'm not defending the game, but the reviewer is a prima-dona.

Re:What's wrong with calling it Faggs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435274)

or, homosexual.
it's not the first time he's taken offense at something like that.

"Faggs" are an "officially protected victim class" (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435248)

One is only allowed to insult white males of Western European heritage - because they are an evil blight upon Gaia.

And if they're Christians, you're even allowed to burn them alive.

As long as you pay for your carbon credits.

Re:What's wrong with calling it Faggs? (1)

PhxBlue (562201) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435320)

Agreed. Apparently the reviewer has no familiarity with British slang whatsoever.

Re:What's wrong with calling it Faggs? (4, Insightful)

TheRaven64 (641858) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435358)

Because it's just not that funny. It's the kind of pun that you'd think was hilarious when you were 12, and then you'd either grow up, or you'd go on to make Duke Nukem Forever. Compare the humour in DNF with Duke3D or DN:MP, which had lines like 'guns don't kill mutants, I kill mutants.' Manhattan Project managed the same sort of cliche'd over-the-top macho action figure satire, but was actually fun and made you laugh (and I'm not saying that from the perspective of nostalgia: I played it for the first time over Christmas). It sounds like DNF doesn't, it just makes Duke Nukem sound like a dick.

Re:What's wrong with calling it Faggs? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435440)

Because it's rooted in hatred and isn't new or funny in anyway. It'd be the same as him picking up a product with an afro-american depicted and a racial slur. Pointless hatred....

Someone who has gay friends (0)

tepples (727027) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435508)

If you had several gay people in your top 150 [slashdot.org] , sexual orientation slurs would probably start to offend you.

Here's the good news... (4, Funny)

Jawnn (445279) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435186)

I heard that Ewe Boll will be directing the feature film... [ducks]

Re:Here's the good news... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435264)

I heard that Ewe Boll will be directing the feature film...

Don't worry, that's Uwe Boll's brother, you know, the one with talent.

Re:Here's the good news... (4, Insightful)

Gotung (571984) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435318)

In some sort of bizzaro world fashion the movie would probably turn out awesome.

Re:Here's the good news... (1)

Machtyn (759119) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435452)

Where's my insightful mod!

Duke Nukem Forever (1)

Arrepiadd (688829) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435252)

So it will indeed be forever...

Why Do Haters Gotta Hate? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435260)

What else were you expecting. An overdue vaporware game turned out to disappoint when another company tried to pick up the pieces and shove it out the door? Shocker. www.awkwardengineer.com [awkwardengineer.com]

It had no chance to meet expectations (2)

damn_registrars (1103043) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435268)

The expectations for this game were way too high, as a result of how long it was in development. Even if it was the greatest game ever it would have still been a disappointment to someone. On top of that since most reviewers are used to serious FPS games they have no idea what Duke Nukem is supposed to actually be about; it isn't supposed to compete with the latest Call of Duty.

Re:It had no chance to meet expectations (1)

SanityInAnarchy (655584) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435468)

According to this review, it's not just that it doesn't compete with Call of Duty -- it doesn't even compete favorably with Duke Nukem 3D.

Re:It had no chance to meet expectations (2)

ledow (319597) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435482)

You can make excuses all you like - the game is sub-par compared to even budget titles released YEARS (and in some cases even a decade) ago. You don't need to have the latest-and-greatest graphics - and I play more indie games with 2D graphics than I play anything else any more - but if you expect someone to lay out full-price, you need to have something to sell.

You can't sell nostalgia, only ruin it. Selling humour is subjective and requires a humour professional (i.e. comedian), especially if that humour is incredibly niche and potentially offensive if you get it wrong. The "humour" in the game consists of swearing and making jokes that an 11-year-old would consider distasteful (and that's saying something!), and reads like a checklist of offensive terms was referenced in order to make each "joke". I'm no prude when it comes to jokes and it would take an awful lot to "offend" me, especially if I chose to "be offended" voluntarily - but this game just *isn't* funny, and tries to make up by being seen as offensive or off-the-wall, and that's its biggest problem.

I agree that *someone* would always be disappointed but as someone who played Duke when it was first out, this game is actually a step backwards from the original. A step back from a nearly-15-year-old game! I'm not into "serious" FPS at all - my games are entertainment to wile away the hours, and that *usually* means not having to think, plan, strategise, etc. - but this is one of the most linear, boring and predictable (in terms of what comes around the next corner) games I've ever seen.

The engine is vastly capable of handling more but... just doesn't. Modern computers are more than capable of handling more but can struggle on this (!).

They had all the time in the world. They had a legendary release date and could easily have spent a decade on it. They had so many great developers and decades of assets and ideas. They had all the capability in the world. And what you end up with is a boring, tedious, linear, ill-thought-out, budget-style FPS with offensive humour and some references to its predecessor thrown in to make it "special".

And what makes it worse - some of the pre-release clips from YEARS ago actually put this game entirely to shame, and those bits never made it in.

Have a look at Counterstrike: Condition Zero. It comes with the various iterations of that game that were abandoned pre-release, including an FPS/adventure-style mode built in the CS vein. It wasn't great, but it could have stood alone, and is still fun to play through even today. It was abandoned for something infinitely better (even though it became just-another CS mod) on a shorter timescale than intended and sold by the bucketload, without the bad rap that this got.

DNF is a massive disappointment. Having the meme of Duke Nukem Forever's release date around would actually be BETTER than the game itself. It's another Daikatana, although spectacularly, it's somehow worse.

Death of a meme... (1)

itsdapead (734413) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435272)

A few moment's silence, pray, for the demise of an Internet meme?

How do we now describe the expected delivery date of vaporware without resorting to mundane terms like "hell freezing over" or "Real Soon Now..."?

This is nearly as bad as finding out what step 3 is in the underpant gnomes' business plan.

Re:Death of a meme... (1)

idontgno (624372) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435466)

A few moment's silence, pray, for the demise of an Internet meme?

Alas, no. Regardless of what it's called, this is not the Duke Nukem Forever the prophecies spoke of. It's not the vaporware Messiah; it's just very naughty crap.

The meme is safe. This is not the DNF we're looking for.

Spoiler alert! (1)

the real darkskye (723822) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435514)

Step 3 is Profit!.

Skip this one (1)

koolfy (1213316) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435288)

Their verdict? Skip this one.

Yeah, just wait for the next.
-- if you dare.

Re:Skip this one (1)

Madman (84403) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435476)

Their verdict? Skip this one.

Yeah, just wait for the next.

-- if you dare.

Given how long it took to come out with this one I'll be 70 by the time the next one comes out. I'll play Gears of War 3 instead.

Re:Skip this one (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435518)

These guys [alcor.org] can help you see the release in the year 3011.

They're right (1)

jevring (618916) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435314)

I didn't read the article, but I did play the game, and it absolutely sucks!

maybe the sequel (1)

dutchwhizzman (817898) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435330)

will be better?

Skip? (1)

MMC Monster (602931) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435332)

If we skip this one, how long do we have to wait before the next in the franchise?

At least Deus Ex 3 will be open and have more to d (1)

Joe_Dragon (2206452) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435338)

At least Deus Ex 3 will be open and have more to do then just be forced to be a on a rail like Duke forever is.

This is actually the state of most modern games (4, Interesting)

Nyder (754090) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435340)

This is state of most modern games.

Overglossy graphics, crappy game play, rollercoaster ride.

Look at the map comparison between Duke 3D and Forever. The sad part? It's like that between all games from the 90's compared to now.

Games that you used to have an openish enviroment, are all now rollercoastered.

Games you used to play for 20+ hours, are all 4-6 hours now.

This is what happens when you get big corporations running the show. and of course, Hollywoodizing crap. Let's make it shiny and expensive, but not give any value. (it's like going from the great black & white movies, to the trashy color movies that came out).

ya, Duke Nukem Forever is a crappy game, should of never been made. But it's actually a shining example of the current gaming industry and what they think about their customers.

obviously (1)

aahpandasrun (948239) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435344)

Obviously. I think they should have sold it as a novelty item instead of trying to pretend it's a big budget high quality game. But, maybe that's how they figured they would make their money. No wonder they were pushing pre-orders.

Too late, (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36435372)

Already bought it! I mean, give me a break, I've been waiting 1/3 of my life for this game.

No surprise... (2)

MaWeiTao (908546) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435424)

Most reviews I've seen are generally bad. Given how hard the publisher was pushing the lewd aspect of the game is it really any surprise it turned out to be crap. They were hoping to lure in a few suckers with the "mature" content before they figured out how bad the game actually was.

I also tend to think the intervening years colored memories of Duke Nukem 3D. I personally don't think it was nearly as good as some people remember. I recall it being entertaining, finding some of the subject matter amusing, but generally as an FPS it didn't stand out. For the time it was fine, but then the bar was a lot lower then. It's no wonder DNF would disappoint even if the level of quality is comparable to the original. Of course the mess that was it's development certainly didn't help matters.

This is a good object lesson. When a company plays a sleight of hand trick, trying to sell you on some aspect other than gameplay, it's a near certainty the game won't be any good. And they sure played that angle pretty hard with Duke Nukem Forever.

Well... (2)

Windwraith (932426) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435438)

I don't think the graphics are that bad...but this looks more like a Halo mod with Duke characters than a Duke game proper...

This is getting fucking ridiculous (4, Insightful)

AbRASiON (589899) | more than 3 years ago | (#36435520)

I'm the last person who should be defending this game as I've been taking the piss out of it for 5 years. I've never been a fanboy of the sequel, never did I have confidence it would ever deliver anything at all. I liked the original as a teenager but that's about it.

Regardless though, I've nearly finished the game (Australia, we got it 4 days early) and I can say if you liked the original game, this is a fantastic melding of the original and modern day gameplay. This game is getting slammed far far too excessively.
I guess it was to be expected - but I personally went in expecting garbage and got a half decent game. It's certainly better than diluted trash like Crysis 2.

The game is a little obnoxious for the PC types but you know that going in to it, you wouldn't go to see Fast and the Furious 5 to expect high quality cinema. This game is trashy, dumb - yet quite fun, it's a guilty pleasure for my childish side and honestly the core gameplay itself? It's really fairly decent.

The graphics while not top of the line (quite bad in spots) are also quite GOOD in other places, several scenes I've been outright surprised at how good they are.
If you played the original game and you're in the 27 -> 45 age group with any sense of nostalgia, try it out with an open mind. Don't expect some thick storyline, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I know I was.
P.S no it's not perfect, some scenes are frustrating in difficulty or not funny - but all games have low spots, overall, it's not even 1/3 as bad as some of these people are saying.

Load More Comments
Slashdot Login

Need an Account?

Forgot your password?