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The Iceman's Last Meal

Soulskill posted more than 3 years ago | from the bet-it-was-twinkies dept.

Science 116

sciencehabit writes "Less than two hours before he hiked his last steps in the Tyrolean Alps 5000 years ago, Ötzi the Iceman fueled up on a last meal of ibex meat, according to a new study. Armed with Ötzi's newly sequenced genome and a detailed dental analysis, scientists have also found that the Iceman had brown eyes (not blue, as commonly assumed) and probably wasn't much of a tooth brusher. Dental analysis shows that the Iceman suffered a blunt force trauma to two teeth — possibly a blow to the mouth — at least several days before his death and was plagued by both periodontal disease and cavities."

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Dangerzone (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36505798)

Re:Dangerzone (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36506016)

did they determine if goatse suffered any permanent damage from stretching his asshole?

Not much of a tooth brusher (2, Funny)

reboot246 (623534) | more than 3 years ago | (#36505820)

and "plagued by both periodontal disease and cavities."

He was British?

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (5, Interesting)

rolfwind (528248) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506010)

They always tell me before the rise of civilization that human teeth were perfectly fine. That natural sweets like fruit fibers forced the sugar away before any real damage was done. That white flour and white sugar, removed from it's natural fibers do all the damage. And I know that is true to some extent, but I really don't think before that crap came that everyone was running around with perfect teeth.

So, was Oetzi from a civilization with all that bad stuff in that sense, since he's way younger than 10,000 years old? Or do human teeth really just suck that much? (FWIW, I wish all our teeth were like baby teeth, constantly displaced and renewed every 5-7 years).

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

Arancaytar (966377) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506078)

(FWIW, I wish all our teeth were like baby teeth, constantly displaced and renewed every 5-7 years).

Like sharks? Yeah, that'd be pretty cool...

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

rolfwind (528248) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506130)

Somewhat, except I don't want 2x3 rows of teeth in my mouth at any one time:)

spare teeth (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36506170)

it's not as bad as you think. having fresh set of teeth all the time is a feature.

Re:spare teeth (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36506274)

I imagine blowjobs would be damn scary though!

Re:spare teeth (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36508376)

You are doing it wrong!

Re:spare teeth (2)

EdIII (1114411) | more than 3 years ago | (#36508378)

I imagine blowjobs would be damn scary though!

Well since this is Slashdot isn't the cliche that all most of us can do is imagine a blowjob :)

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

Konsalik (1921874) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506286)

Especially if the girl giving you head has a few rows of sharp teeth pointing backwards. Well maybe if you are into that kind of thing it wont bother you...

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

ArsonSmith (13997) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506328)

What is this head^Hgirl of which you seek?

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36506582)

What is this head^Hgirl of which you seek?

What's a heagirl?

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36507290)

You see this shit?

Especially if the girl giving you head has a few rows of sharp teeth pointing backwards.

STOP IT.

My dick just ran under the couch like a scared puppy. You ass.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36508086)

My dick just ran under the couch like a scared puppy. You ass.

Does it have rows of sharp teeth as well? Or is that just vaginas?

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

AdamHaun (43173) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506160)

I heard something like that, only it was that meat doesn't cause tooth decay the way carbohydrates do.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (2)

ryantmer (1748734) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506164)

Could also have to do with life expectancy being much shorter - from what I can tell, average life expectancy 5000 years ago was between 20 and 25, so there would be much less time for dental problems to develop (or any health problems, really, aside from ones like "being murdered by opposing tribe" or the favourite "getting eaten by a sabertooth" which plagued many of that era).

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (2)

rolfwind (528248) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506298)

A lot of the life expectancy is lowered because of death at child birth (both children and women) and also in the fragile toddler years. There were people who regularly lived to 40s/50s/60s.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

Dahamma (304068) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506648)

...and their teeth were probably a mess.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (3, Insightful)

EdIII (1114411) | more than 3 years ago | (#36508400)

I am not an anthropologist, but were there not many cultures where food was chewed for elder people that lacked the teeth to do it themselves?

Probably remember it from a documentary or some movies, but I would love an anthropologist to chime in on this.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36506650)

On the other hand, a low life expectancy isn't intended to mean that no one lives to be older; only that it's more rare to do so. The life expectancy numbers for those who'd already lived into their teens were still pretty bad.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (2)

SpongeBob Hitler (1848328) | more than 3 years ago | (#36507206)

On the other hand, a low life expectancy isn't intended to mean that no one lives to be older; only that it's more rare to do so. The life expectancy numbers for those who'd already lived into their teens were still pretty bad.

This is, of course, where we get the idea across all cultures that elders should be respected. Today, however, any idiot can live to a ripe old age. See, e.g., the U.S. baby boomer generation. A pack of whiny, self-important little fuckers if ever there was one.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (3, Insightful)

BeaverCleaver (673164) | more than 3 years ago | (#36509112)

A lot of the life expectancy is lowered because of death at child birth (both children and women) and also in the fragile toddler years. There were people who regularly lived to 40s/50s/60s.

Thank you. Really, thank you. That statistic gets thrown around all the time, and as you point out, it's bullshit. Life expectancy was lower because lots of babies and children died. Polio, Measles, smallpox, malnutrition....childbirth [as you stated], whatever.

Just because life expectancy was in the order of 30 years, absolutely does not mean that there was ever a time in human history that healthy 30 year olds were just spontaneously dropping dead.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (0)

ozmanjusri (601766) | more than 3 years ago | (#36509592)

absolutely does not mean that there was ever a time in human history that healthy 30 year olds were just spontaneously dropping dead.

Apart from now, you mean?

Iraq and Afghanistan Casualties:

  • Ages 18-21 -- 28.2% (1,325) of the deaths
  • Ages 22-24 -- 23.7% (1,108) of the deaths
  • Ages 25-30 -- 25.6% (1,198) of the deaths
  • Ages 31-35 -- 10.4% (486) of the deaths
  • Over 35 -- 12.1% (566) of the deaths

http://usmilitary.about.com/od/terrorism/a/iraqdeath1000.htm [about.com]

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

Calydor (739835) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510254)

Death by acute lead poisoning is not 'spontaneously dropping dead'. In this case, 'spontaneously' means 'with no discernible reason'.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

tehcyder (746570) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510300)

Just because life expectancy was in the order of 30 years, absolutely does not mean that there was ever a time in human history that healthy 30 year olds were just spontaneously dropping dead.

You're going too far the other way. The point is that by the time you got to 30, a lot of your fwllows had died of starvation, cold, physical exhaustion, wild animal attacks, fellow human attacks or (most importantly) a host of relatively minor ailments that would kill you in the absence of proper medicines. In hunter/gatherer times, getting something like a broken limb would effectively finish you off.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

pjt33 (739471) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506392)

Well, the Egyptians certainly aren't pre-civilisation, but I doubt they had white sugar, at least. When I visited Barcelona's Archaelogical Museum last year they had an exhibit about some mummies, and IIRC a third of them showed signs of serious tooth decay.

Sugar, sweet. (1)

overshoot (39700) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506732)

Well, the Egyptians certainly aren't pre-civilisation, but I doubt they had white sugar, at least.

They most certainly had honey.

Re:Sugar, sweet. (1)

ShavedOrangutan (1930630) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506910)

My dentist is a beekeeper and sells honey at his office. He says that honey is naturally anti-bacterial and doesn't cause tooth decay because it's the acid generated by bacteria that damages tooth enamel.

Honey: anti-bacterial? (3, Insightful)

overshoot (39700) | more than 3 years ago | (#36507694)

My dentist is a beekeeper and sells honey at his office. He says that honey is naturally anti-bacterial and doesn't cause tooth decay because it's the acid generated by bacteria that damages tooth enamel.

Easy enough to test: eat a mouthful of honey, and then take an oral swab. Test it for bacteria.

The reason that honey is anti-bacterial is simple osmotic pressure: the sugar concentration is so high that bacteria get dehydrated. Pure sugar works exactly the same way. Dilution, no shock, cancels out the effect.

However, a dentist selling honey as a tooth preservative? Might be a good business plan.

Re:Honey: anti-bacterial? (1)

yanyan (302849) | more than 3 years ago | (#36509040)

However, a dentist selling honey as a tooth preservative? Might be a good business plan.

Seems kind of ironic to me. In effect he's killing his market by helping people take better care of their teeth which, if everybody in the world did, would render dentists largely unnecessary in the first place. A better, more evil, if you will, business plan would be to hand out free sweets to patients on their way out. >:-)

Re:Honey: anti-bacterial? (1)

demonlapin (527802) | more than 3 years ago | (#36509186)

His point is that once you eat it, it quickly loses its antibacterial properties.

It's much more complex than that. (4, Informative)

LongearedBat (1665481) | more than 3 years ago | (#36509248)

Honey is not antiseptic due simply to a high sugar rate.

This page says that honey is antiseptic in various ways [worldwidewounds.com] and that some types of honey are more antiseptic than others. And this research [sciencedirect.com] seems to suggest that a part of the antibacterial activity might be of plant origin and the major part of the antibacterial activity of honeydew honey is of bee origin.

Put simply: It's complex, and we don't know it all yet.

Medical grade types of honey are still being discovered [medicalnewstoday.com] . "Medical grade honey"? Yes, this article [springerlink.com] claims that eight species of problematic wound pathogens, including those with high levels of innate or acquired antibiotic resistance, were killed by 4.0–14.8% honey , meaning that they're effective even when diluted.

It's an intersting read, especially the 1st article.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

Faerunner (1077423) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506862)

They also had sand everywhere, including in the flour they used to make their bread. And sand is a really great abrasive, as you probably know. I wouldn't blame all their tooth decay on sweets!

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (3, Interesting)

Spy Handler (822350) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506454)

it's not just human teeth that suck, or that civilization/agriculture ruined our teeth. Animal conservation people often tranquilize lions in the wild to relocate them/take blood samples for studies, etc... very often they find the lion with cavities and gingivitis, even though it's been living on a diet of meat exclusively (as all lions have for millenia).

I saw this on NatGeo once -- scientists tranqulized a lion took some samples and gave it a checkup, and one of the things they did was to drill out a cavitity and fill it, and give him a dental cleaning (with dental floss). It was pretty funny.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (4, Informative)

pluther (647209) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506646)

Human teeth really suck that much.

Teeth found as least as far back as Neanderthal are almost universally worn flat in anyone who survived to adulthood. Also, abscesses, often wearing away bone all the way up into the sinuses, are very common in pleistocene remains from the Americas. (The individuals must have been in constant pain for years. Ouch.)

We've also found a lot of teeth that were badly decayed, and forcibly extracted. Sometimes in pieces. Ice age dentistry wasn't pretty.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

gknoy (899301) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506974)

When did we discover alcohol? I wonder what they did to deal with the pain, if anything.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (2)

EdIII (1114411) | more than 3 years ago | (#36508516)

Ice age dentistry wasn't pretty.

Oh really? You think medical practices have got better do you?

I was wheeled in to a room this morning that resembled the lab Darth Vader was constructed in for my first colonoscopy. A bunch of people moving around real fast, but on one wall there were fucking black tubes 7 fucking feet long that looked like Borg power conduits. It got worse from there.

I was told that conscious sedation was cheaper and I cut him off right there. I asked if those black cables that looked like it was from the personal collection of PinHead were going to be used on me and I told his ass right there I didn't care what it cost. Knock my ass out now because I don't want to remember a damn thing.

Good choice too. If you have means I highly recommend it. The first few hours after anesthesia is like Disney Land, but much cooler.

My point being, some medical procedures today are not by any definition of the word, "pretty". We just have ways of making you not remember it. Thank the Heavens for that.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

guybrush3pwood (1579937) | more than 3 years ago | (#36508702)

I told his ass right there I didn't care what it cost. Knock my ass out now because I don't want to remember a damn thing.

You, sir, are a pussy.

Plus, you do know that the more anesthesia your body takes, the less it endures in the future? Knocking yourself because of a simple dental problem is stupid and your doctor should have told you so. You need to pay more and get a better doctor, instead of more drugs.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (4, Funny)

jackbird (721605) | more than 3 years ago | (#36508780)

If he's getting a colonoscopy as part of a dental procedure, I'd say his dental problem is far from simple...

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

Billlagr (931034) | more than 3 years ago | (#36508810)

Puts whole new slant on 'Root Canal'. Drilling from the bottom (ha!) up..

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

guybrush3pwood (1579937) | more than 3 years ago | (#36508840)

Hehe... I misread and I think I owe the guy an apology. On the other hand, he seems to have enjoyed the ride, so I'll take a wild guess and say he took no offense.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

demonlapin (527802) | more than 3 years ago | (#36509202)

Plus, you do know that the more anesthesia your body takes, the less it endures in the future?

Not true, my friend. Not true. It's just that old people die more easily, and that people who need tons of surgical procedures tend not to be the healthiest. Rumor has it that many, many Soviet soldiers would take a half-shot of ether whenever they wanted to have a good evening...

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

guybrush3pwood (1579937) | more than 3 years ago | (#36509382)

Rumor has it that many, many Soviet soldiers would take a half-shot of ether whenever they wanted to have a good evening...

My bad, your rumor about Russian drunks clearly proves me wrong.

You are lucky (1)

xkuehn (2202854) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510104)

If you have means I highly recommend it. The first few hours after anesthesia is like Disney Land, but much cooler.

It is not just about being able to afford it. I have had general anaesthesia twice and it was horrible. First, I puke all day Second, I seem to go on a bad trip. Seem to, since I can not remember any of it. But then I have to endure tales of everything I did, like kicking the doctor (both times).

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

wildstoo (835450) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510548)

I asked if those black cables that looked like it was from the personal collection of PinHead were going to be used on me and I told his ass right there...

Considering the procedure, this choice of phrasing amused me.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

jedrek (79264) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510574)

The fact that you were able to get knocked out reliably means that medical practices have gotten a LOT better.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

AmiMoJo (196126) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510692)

I opted not to have an aesthetic of any kind when I had some fillings put in. I'm not hardcore or anything, I just hate the numbness more than the short period of pain from drilling.

But yeah, when you go to have your shit-pipe cleaned out it ain't gonna be pretty.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

Type44Q (1233630) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506802)

They always tell me before the rise of civilization that human teeth were perfectly fine. That natural sweets like fruit fibers forced the sugar away before any real damage was done. That white flour and white sugar, removed from it's natural fibers do all the damage. And I know that is true to some extent, but I really don't think before that crap came that everyone was running around with perfect teeth.

So, was Oetzi from a civilization with all that bad stuff in that sense, since he's way younger than 10,000 years old? Or do human teeth really just suck that much? (FWIW, I wish all our teeth were like baby teeth, constantly displaced and renewed every 5-7 years).

It's probably quite simple, actually. Indigenous people around the planet often have perfect teeth when Western explorers first enounter them but there are at least two exceptions to this: the Incas, who tended to have horrible teeth (due to the fact that they ate cooked corn containing carbs which, as any diabetic should be able to tell you, affect the body the way sugar does) and certain islanders from the West Indies, who chewed/sucked raw sugar cane (not a great idea, the toxicity of refined sugar not withstanding.

However, "Oetzi" probably wasn't eating the perfect diet of "fruits, roots, shoots, berries, seeds and bugs" but rather a diet consisting primarily of animal products, which as has been fairly well demonstrated, is great for folks who want to survive Ice Age-type conditions as a race but doesn't do a whole lot for the health and lifespan of individual members.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

Swampash (1131503) | more than 3 years ago | (#36507540)

They always tell me before the rise of civilization that human teeth were perfectly fine.

I think the missing words are "were perfectly fine for a human's natural lifespan."

It's just that a human lifespan was probably about 30 or 40 years, and then you died of old age.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

black soap (2201626) | more than 3 years ago | (#36511188)

"old age" being defined as "that's when everything was worn out and quit working."

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36508082)

I asked this once before, on slashdot.

All anyone had to say was that it was modern food. Something about corporations being corporationy. I didn't buy it then, either.

We just have serious flaws in our physiology. The heart is another device of poor design. Redundancy is non-existent for extremely critical blood delivery areas that are already prone to failure. There are all kinds of things wrong with us in this particular revision.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

lahvak (69490) | more than 3 years ago | (#36508432)

You think corporations were any better at that time?

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

guybrush3pwood (1579937) | more than 3 years ago | (#36508710)

There are all kinds of things wrong with us in this particular revision.

Are you calling God a lazy programmer?

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

wildstoo (835450) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510592)

Maybe just an overworked engineer with a hard deadline. He actually produced a far superior design originally, with greater resilience to all kinds of ailments, but then the beancounters saw the cost-per-unit and told him he had to "streamline" his design.

Being a proud engineer, he argued that such a design had some serious flaws, and that the final product would have a far shorter lifespan than his original design.

Inevitably, he was told to leave product perception issues to the marketing team and just get the damn thing out the door so Heaven could start making some goddamn (hehe) money.

Of course, once the patent protection ran out and there were 3rd party knockoffs all over the market, quality control went right out of the window.

Well, maybe in the next revision...

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

tehcyder (746570) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510374)

I asked this once before, on slashdot. All anyone had to say was that it was modern food. Something about corporations being corporationy. I didn't buy it then, either. We just have serious flaws in our physiology. The heart is another device of poor design. Redundancy is non-existent for extremely critical blood delivery areas that are already prone to failure. There are all kinds of things wrong with us in this particular revision.

Yes, well God has to design in some flaws so that we don't live forever, as that would be blasphemous. Duh.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

nospam007 (722110) | more than 3 years ago | (#36508946)

"That white flour and white sugar, removed from it's natural fibers do all the damage."

If you make your flour yourself with 2 stones, there will be lots of microscopic stone fragments in it, making the bread abrasive for your teeth.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

codeButcher (223668) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510056)

Darn swiss choccies......

I guess they didn't live long enough back then to have bad teeth become much of an issue. Or maybe they died because of the eventual lack of nutrient uptake. Chicken? Egg? You decide.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36506044)

He was British?

Well he didn't have cheeseburger crumbs in his teeth or sludge guts so he wasn't American.

WHAT DUMBASS DRIVERS DON'T UNDERSTAND (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36506200)

1. There's no such thing as too much following distance.

2. Your car steers better if you aren't also trying to brake. Most curves you hit your brakes on don't require braking. Drivers who actually have an ounce of skill know the difference instantly.

3. Braking when you're just about to go uphill makes you a moron.

4. Crossing the double-yellow on a blind curve makes you a candidate for involuntary surgical sterilization. If I can handle a large truck or an SUV without drifting out of my lane, so can you.

5. Those long turning lanes? Yeah, they exist so you can wait until after you're in them to start slowing down. It's called not being an asshole to everyone behind you.

6. I'm glad you have a turn in the next 5-10 miles. Until then, you can keep up with traffic.

7. If your phone call is more important then driving, if it is so urgent it absolutely cannot wait, pull over.

8. Banked curves are banked for a reason. If you're afraid of the ball you should not be playing the game.

9. Turn signals: they are so ridiculously easy to use, even you can handle them.

10. The leftmost lane is for passing, not for carefully staying within 0.0001mm of the car to your right.

11. Minivans have accelerator pedals too. It works. Try using it. I understand your minivan isn't a race car but you can definitely handle the low speed limits even if it takes you a moment to get up to them.

12. In heavy traffic, your stupidity and lack of concern for how it affects others can cause large jams miles behind you.

13. During good conditions, no hazards, bright sunny day, there's no goddamned reason to do 10-15 below the already low speed limit. If you feel a need to do this, you are too old or stupid or both to handle the demands of driving a car and should surrender your license as a public service.

14. Your mirrors have blind spots. There is no substitute for a shoulder check.

15. You're a bit of a dick if you pull out in front of someone. If you pull out in front of someone and don't hit your gas, you deserve to have a small hollow glass rod forcefully inserted into your urethra and broken while inside.

16. If you know you have a turn coming up, waiting until the last second to swerve into the appropriate lane makes you an idiot. You're not an adult until you can plan ahead for easily foreseen events. Doesn't matter how chronologically old you might be.

17. A philosophy of "me first!" is perfectly appropriate ... if you're two years old. If not, it's called right-of-way.

18. The highway has an acceleration lane because it's easier to merge into traffic when you're not going 20-30mph slower and creating a hazard for everyone else. Again if you're afraid of the ball, don't play the game.

19. There are hazardous conditions that require you to drive slowly. A little sprinkling of rain is not one of them.

20. Parking inside the parking space is so ridiculously easy that you soundly deserve to have your car keyed if you can't handle it.

Re:WHAT DUMBASS DRIVERS DON'T UNDERSTAND (1)

SpongeBob Hitler (1848328) | more than 3 years ago | (#36507266)

I take it you live in Northern Virginia. I'd say hi at the junction between I-495 and I-66 if I wasn't too interested in killing some dumb fucker!

Re:WHAT DUMBASS DRIVERS DON'T UNDERSTAND (1)

MichaelSmith (789609) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510242)

Once my wife asked me about the blue light in the instrument panel of her car. I took her out to the car and showed her the switch for the high beam. She asked me what it was for. She explained that a man knocked on her window at a red light and suggested that she turn her high beam off, and when she didn't understand just said to turn the blue light off and left it at that. She I explained high beams and she said well if you get more light with high beam why not leave it on all the time. So I said blue light bad. If you see that light on, press this stalk so it goes away.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36506412)

and "plagued by both periodontal disease and cavities."

He was British?

"the Iceman suffered a blunt force trauma to two teeth — possibly a blow to the mouth"

Apparently he was also a soccer fan.

Re:Not much of a tooth brusher (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36510180)

and "plagued by both periodontal disease and cavities." He was British?

I'd rather have imperfect teeth than live in a retarded country that elects people like George Bush and Sarah Palin to high office, and thinks Team America: World Police was a fucking DoD training video.

I can imagine... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36505838)

He probably did the old "tie a rock to the tooth and throw then rock" to get rid of his toothache. The tooth was not as sick as he thought, and Ôtzi followed the stone down the alps. First Darwin Award y'all.

Lies (3, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36505858)

Everyone knows primitive man was vegetarian. We are given a McDonalds palate at birth by our capitalist/consumer industrial processed food culture. They knew better.

Oh, and they weren’t violent either.

Dental Plan! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36505930)

...Lisa needs braces!

I was a little confused by the headline (3, Funny)

joe_cot (1011355) | more than 3 years ago | (#36505940)

I thought they were talking about this guy [wikipedia.org] . He's been in prison for a while, but he didn't get the death penalty.

Re:I was a little confused by the headline (0)

mangu (126918) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506104)

And I thought they were talking about this man [kimiraikkonen.com] .

Nah, just kidding...

Re:I was a little confused by the headline (1)

Hatta (162192) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506184)

I thought they were talking about this guy [wcnews.com] .

Re:I was a little confused by the headline (1)

sharkey (16670) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506672)

Yeah, it was a a bit vague. [pollsb.com]

Val Kilmer (3, Funny)

jgerry (14280) | more than 3 years ago | (#36505978)

For a minute I thought Val Kilmer had died.

Re:Val Kilmer (1)

SpongeBob Hitler (1848328) | more than 3 years ago | (#36505988)

When is a Door not a Door?
When it's Val Kilmer!

Re:Val Kilmer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36506218)

Sound of one teeth clacking.

Re:Val Kilmer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36506360)

Is that a Willow reference?

Re:Val Kilmer (1)

Nidi62 (1525137) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506436)

Top Gun

Re:Val Kilmer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36507586)

Based on the last photo I saw, he ain't starving to death any time soon. The horror, the horror...

Re:Val Kilmer (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36509254)

No, that was Patrick Swayzie. Got put into a corner.

irony (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36506072)

You know what's funny is that the last thing I ate before posting this was Twizzlers and yet I do not suffer from periodontal disease. You would think it would be the opposite with mister ibex jerky there lol.

Re:irony (0)

swanzilla (1458281) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506366)

Nope...still coincidence. Keep trying.

We're not sure where he was killed (4, Informative)

jd (1658) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506080)

There's claims that he may have been moved after death and that he may have been killed in or around a settlement off the Alps.

That aside, the continuing research is building up an amazing picture. I assume they've done the strontium isotope testing on the teeth to locate exactly where he was originally from.

What's more, glaciers in the Alps and across Scandanavia are releasing enormous amounts of organics, allowing for a much better picture of the time to be built. The main concern had by archaeologists is that the amount they're able to collect (due to really insignificant resources) is tiny compared to what's actually being released. Cloth and wood, when released by a glacier, will rot extremely quickly if efforts are not made to preserve it (not the seconds shown in Indiana Jones IV, but months to maybe a year or so) but may be removed and destroyed/buried by mud, animals, build-up of the terminal morraine, etc, long before that.

What we do have, though, is a picture of an era within that area that is incredibly comprehensive. We only know about the use of colour in early mediterranian clothes because X-Ray fluorescence on Greek and Roman sculptures reveals the paints used. We actually have dyed cloth from Otzi's time. We know the Romans loved wine and beer, from their writings and from residue in containers, but we've actually found seeds in the process of being malted in German and France again contemporary with Otzi along with other ingredients in their raw form. Also from that era, we have found doors that are painted and have latches, ropes, longbows, shoes and other artifacts, most of which are either completely or almost completely intact. That is impressive.

Provided more enthusiasts in Europe go out, find, salvage as necessary, and report organics to make up for the lack of archaeological resources, we are quite capable of building a picture of Bronze Age and Iron Age Europe that is more comprehensive than our knowledge of early-to-mid Medieval times.

Re:We're not sure where he was killed (4, Funny)

Hatta (162192) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506206)

There's claims that he may have been moved after death and that he may have been killed in or around a settlement off the Alps.

You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps?

Re:We're not sure where he was killed (2)

j-stroy (640921) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506310)

The recent meal, the un-plundered artifacts (valuable copper axe, knife, arrows, fire kit & clothing) found with him and determination of injuries sure sounds like he died alone in a "chase" involving two groups. Wikipedia mentions multiple blood evidence. [wikipedia.org] Most intriguing is the sophistication of his shoes or possibly framed snowshoes.

Re:We're not sure where he was killed (1)

jd (1658) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506984)

The two meals prior to his last seemed to be fairly elaborate [pnas.org] , suggesting that whatever chase or chases may have taken place it wasn't expected and wasn't until after the last meal.

The current theory seems to be that the un-plundered artifacts were a result of him being ritually buried in the Alps after death, on the grounds that although the blood on the knife proves he was in hand-to-hand combat (and must have won, since he survived that and was killed by an arrow), nothing from the attackers other than the blood on the knife (no arrowheads, no lost artifacts, nothing) has been found.

Re:We're not sure where he was killed (1)

rahvin112 (446269) | more than 3 years ago | (#36507854)

Last I saw he wasn't that far from home (where his teeth show he's from that is). Unless they changed the theory they suspect he was wealthy or someone of high social rank and he was in a hand-to-hand fight that resulted in him running away and someone shooting him in the back with an arrow which he extracted himself (leaving the head embedded in his back) he died while running away (from the punctured lung and the blood loss) and that he likely fell and died and was buried in snow (and thus never found) before his attackers caught up to him. The snow continued to fall and grew in depth every year until he was encased in a glacier fortunately he was buried in a nook in the ground that prevented him from being ground to bits by the glacier.

Where is this theory that he was buried ritually? From what I saw of the pictures of his corpse he didn't look buried, he looked like someone that died where they fell. People of that time were faced certain directions and buried in very specific positions with ornamentation (including flowers) and last I saw he has none of those hallmarks of a planned burial.

Re:We're not sure where he was killed (1)

belmolis (702863) | more than 3 years ago | (#36509274)

They are pretty sure that his body was moved by the flow of the ice after his death, which would have disrupted its original orientation and conformation.

Re:We're not sure where he was killed (1)

fotoguzzi (230256) | more than 3 years ago | (#36509784)

Were all the artifacts moved along with him by the ice? My understanding is that he was not far from the items found.

Re:We're not sure where he was killed (1)

jd (1658) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510110)

[Ritual burial theory][http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2010/08/otzi-ceremony/]
[Rejection by the archaeologists at the Otzi museum][http://www.iceman.it/en/statement_burial_theory]
[A more neutral POV article on Otzi in general and the theories of death][http://www.health.medicbd.com/wiki/%C3%96tzi_the_Iceman]

Basically, the claim of burial is "case unproven" but all other contending theories also have problems from lack of evidence. Since medical exams on mummies have invariably turned up injuries missed by prior exams, it's safe to assume that later research will have a more definitive answer.

Re:We're not sure where he was killed (2)

ShakaUVM (157947) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506618)

"Global Warming Benefits Archeology!"
-Headline from the next issue of The Petroleum Times

To answer his mother's burning question... (3, Funny)

DdJ (10790) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506090)

...did he at least have clean underwear?

What really happened (1)

SnarfQuest (469614) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506124)

The more I hear about this guy, the more I think of a partially successful escape from some chieftain daughters room. He was probably shouting something like "Everybody lies about sex, it depends on what your definition of is is, and it was all George W Bushes fault!" while he was running away. Several forced reincarnations later, and his vocal efforts finally worked out better.

Re:What really happened (1)

bugs2squash (1132591) | more than 3 years ago | (#36506364)

Were they able to find any body fluids, did he cumeth ?

Re:What really happened (1)

Sique (173459) | more than 3 years ago | (#36509562)

He was about 50, when he died, so the chieftain daughter's room theory has some problems to overcome.

(Full disclosure: I live about 1 1/2 hrs drive from the point where he was discovered.)

Re:What really happened (1)

MichaelSmith (789609) | more than 3 years ago | (#36510278)

Maybe it was the chieftain's wife. Though I don't see why it couldn't have been the daughter, or the daughter and the wife, and the livestock too.

really? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36507214)

Dentists swarm him? Don't you think it's a little LATE to bitch at him about his dental hygene? They have no limits, I swear.

Whats what you get for not going vegan (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36507234)

He eats meat and a few hours later he's dead. That's what meat does to you.

If you won't think for the animals, think for yourselves! Of course, I've got a little more time to think. Being a raw foods-only vegan means I'm going to outlive you all by years.

Re:Whats what you get for not going vegan (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36507526)

He eats meat and a few hours later he's dead. That's what meat does to you.

If you won't think for the animals, think for yourselves! Of course, I've got a little more time to think. Being a raw foods-only vegan means I'm going to outlive you all by years.

Clara?
If this *is* you, then please leave the adults alone and get back to YouTube and find your damn missing penny..

Re:Whats what you get for not going vegan (1)

Sulphur (1548251) | more than 3 years ago | (#36509722)

He eats meat and a few hours later he's dead. That's what meat does to you.

If you won't think for the animals, think for yourselves! Of course, I've got a little more time to think. Being a raw foods-only vegan means I'm going to outlive you all by years.

It was the iBEX that got him then?

The Iceman????? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36507754)

Chuck 'The Iceman' Lidell is alive and well, fuck YOU very much.

A matter between Italy and Austria (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36509572)

Ötzi was found at the border between Italy (South Tyrol) and Austria (North Tyrol), and after some fight who got rights on him he is/was being examined and exhibited in Innsbruck (North Tyrol, Austria) and in Bozen (South Tyrol, Italy) - despite the tag, Switzerland got nothing to do with it, besides also featuring the Alps.

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