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59 comments

Go bannanas (1, Funny)

mdsolar (1045926) | more than 3 years ago | (#36590884)

just sayin'

Re:Go bannanas (3, Insightful)

amicusNYCL (1538833) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591046)

"Monkeys have been shown in previous studies to really love photographs of alpha males and shots of genitals, and we think this will drive their purchasing habits."

Huh.. so we're really not that different.

Re:Go bannanas (1)

sortius_nod (1080919) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591156)

Was there ever a doubt?

Re:Go bannanas (1)

c0lo (1497653) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591376)

Was there ever a doubt?

Churches (as institutions) putting strict rules on sexuality: it derails the mind from what they are preaching (fear) and their control.

(in the above, church != religion)

Re:Go bannanas (1)

tautog (46259) | more than 3 years ago | (#36592936)

Was there ever a doubt?

Churches (as institutions) putting strict rules on sexuality: it derails the mind from what they are preaching (fear) and their control.

(in the above, church != religion)

The doubt still doesn't exist, only it's certainty manifested as denial...

Re:Go bannanas (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36594966)

Was there ever a doubt?

Churches (as institutions) putting strict rules on sexuality: it derails the mind from what they are preaching (fear) and their control.

(in the above, church != religion)

Is this the reason for all the holy pedophelia?

Re:Go bannanas (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#36610308)

"Monkeys have been shown in previous studies to really love photographs of alpha males and shots of genitals, and we think this will drive their purchasing habits."

Huh.. so we're really not that different.

"Not that different"? Then where's the monkey protestors making a fuss over the racy billboards?

Re:Go bannanas (1)

Sulphur (1548251) | more than 3 years ago | (#36593164)

just sayin'

Go primative first.

Re:Go bannanas (1)

slick7 (1703596) | more than 3 years ago | (#36604422)

just sayin'

Go primative first.

Once you go primative, you can't go sublimative, just sayin'.

Re:Go bannanas (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36594898)

just ponies?

Re:Go bannanas (1)

ArsenneLupin (766289) | more than 3 years ago | (#36595040)

There are also monkeys around which are neither female, nor a bonobo...

Not News, Not stuff that matters! (2, Funny)

LostCluster (625375) | more than 3 years ago | (#36590944)

Did I mistakenly load an idle story? Sorry, haven't been here in while.

Re:Not News, Not stuff that matters! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36591118)

It's about sex for monkeys, about "sex sells" and there's a cute girl... to me, for all these three reasons, this is _the_ place to carry such a newsstory.

8-/

Re:Not News, Not stuff that matters! (4, Funny)

sortius_nod (1080919) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591146)

Did you come back just to show how much you don't like a site you don't read?

Wow, sad life.

Re:Not News, Not stuff that matters! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36592956)

Did you come back just to show how much you don't like a site you don't read?

Wow, sad life.

I'd mod you up if I had an account and points.
+1 Burn.

Would be a lot more interesting... (1)

Dahamma (304068) | more than 3 years ago | (#36590952)

...to see monkeys aim at an ad campaign.

Re:Would be a lot more interesting... (1)

Asm-Coder (929671) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591990)

Probably would improve the ad campaign.

This has already been done (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36590958)

http://www.rentawheel.com/ [rentawheel.com]

Re:This has already been done (1)

Kompressor (595513) | more than 3 years ago | (#36592090)

Mod parent down; SPAM.

Been there done that - GEICO (1)

parallel_prankster (1455313) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591012)

GEICO has already been selling insurance to monkeys for quite sometime now

Re:Been there done that - GEICO (1)

itchythebear (2198688) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591136)

Monkeys are in the market for auto insurance you say?

You know, that explains a lot about the driving habits of the "people" I encounter to and from work.

Uh Oh (4, Funny)

itchythebear (2198688) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591028)

When I pictured an ad using sex to sell jell-o, I pictured a jell-o fight between two attractive females. That was an awesome thought.

Then I pictured the same ad, but with monkeys. That was a less awesome thought.

I don't think I want jell-o anymore :(

Re:Uh Oh (1)

ArsenneLupin (766289) | more than 3 years ago | (#36595050)

When I pictured an ad using sex to sell jell-o,

you pig!

I pictured a jell-o fight between two attractive females.

O, what a let-down :-(

Huh? (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36591044)

I thought those were NBA ads.

Those aren't monkeys... (-1, Troll)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36591050)

They're Democrats. (please, stop insulting the monkeys)

Creating a culture of consumerism in monkeys? (2)

gmuslera (3436) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591138)

Thats cruel, evil, even (or maybe, specially) inhuman. Where is PETA? Greenpeace? Is that humanity will never stop finding new ways to torture animals?

Re:Creating a culture of consumerism in monkeys? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36591526)

You're gushing.

Re:Creating a culture of consumerism in monkeys? (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36591964)

Yeah! Why don't they torture me by showing me pictures of female genitals and giving me jello! Um, so long as it's human females that is.

No pictures... (1)

frank_adrian314159 (469671) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591164)

They said in the New Scientist article (linked from TFA) that they cannot show the ads "until the study is finished". I think there's a message about who they think the scientific community is, somewhere in that statement.

Re:No pictures... (3, Informative)

hey! (33014) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591318)

Science is competitive. If you've ever worked with scientific data sharing you know that scientists are totally paranoid about unpublished data. And history shows they're justified. Watson and Crick weren't entirely up front with Rosalind Franklin about how they were using her data. Later they stiffed her on the degree of credit she deserved, minimizing her contribution even though they'd have had no chance of being first to publish without her xray data.

Not until the human part is finished? (1)

dutchwhizzman (817898) | more than 3 years ago | (#36593962)

I doubt they'd be worried about the scientific part, if there wasn't a part of the ad where they did the exact same test with humans to compare.

Just ask Atari (1)

future assassin (639396) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591270)

Re:Just ask Atari (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36591352)

Atari also made The Greatest Commercial Ever [youtube.com] . A bit offtopic re TFA, but any time that commercial can be mentioned is a good time for that commercial to be mentioned.

Of course it does. Monkey whores. (4, Interesting)

Seumas (6865) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591410)

Does sex sell for monkeys the way it does humans?

Of course, it does. I know this is a *slightly* different question, but it has already largely been asked a long time ago. Almost a decade ago, researches at Yale were studying monkeys learning to use money. They taught them to use currency to buy fruit and jello. They then discovered that monkeys would use money to buy favors. And not long after that, they discovered that the females would start prostituting themselves to the males, in return for money and then they would use the money to go buy treats for themselves, after the sex.

It would only seem entirely logical that they would, therefore, have similar reactions to sex used in "marketing".

Re:Of course it does. Monkey whores. (1)

timothy (36799) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591892)

This is an outgrowth of the same Yale studies :)

Seems that jello is the product they're using, too.

timothy

Re:Of course it does. Monkey whores. (2)

Seumas (6865) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591988)

So the real story is that Jell-O is funding universities to study how they can literally move product into the monkey world - whether by advertising or whoring. Devious.

Re:Of course it does. Monkey whores. (1)

ArsenneLupin (766289) | more than 3 years ago | (#36595056)

Seems that jello is the product they're using, too.

... as a lube?

Re:Of course it does. Monkey whores. (1)

timothy (36799) | about 3 years ago | (#36626460)

Jell-O is all purpose.

timothy

Re:Of course it does. Monkey whores. (1)

mug funky (910186) | more than 3 years ago | (#36592492)

linky? i'm too lazy to google.

Re:Of course it does. Monkey whores. (1)

ch0knuti (994541) | more than 3 years ago | (#36593282)

Here you go. http://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/getArticle.cfm?id=1804 [psychologicalscience.org] http://faculty.som.yale.edu/keithchen/articles/YaleBulletin%20text%207_15_05.pdf [yale.edu] (pdf) Funny thing is that the pdf (which is published by Yale) dosen't mention the prostitution and favours. Maybe another study?

Re:Of course it does. Monkey whores. (2)

Seumas (6865) | more than 3 years ago | (#36593572)

The researchers tried to downplay that aspect of the study. It wasn't an intentional "let's see if they're pay for sex" study. It was the byproduct of the introduction of currency and economy and trade that occurred naturally and definitely disturbed those involved.

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/05/magazine/05FREAK.html?pagewanted=1 [nytimes.com]

Statue of Liberty (2)

user flynn (236683) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591422)

Is anyone else picturing the Statue of Liberty barely sticking out of a sandy beach?

Re:Statue of Liberty (1)

WrongSizeGlass (838941) | more than 3 years ago | (#36592204)

Is anyone else picturing the Statue of Liberty barely sticking out of a sandy beach?

Am I the only one picturing the Statue of Liberty covered in Jell-o?

Re:Statue of Liberty (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36592230)

"Damn you all! Damn you all to hell!!"

Re:Statue of Liberty (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36592452)

No, but I'm picturing Washington, D.C. [youtube.com]

I thought it was The Onion (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36591620)

And was disappointed.

Here is something of interest to everyone (1)

SunTzuWarmaster (930093) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591814)

Scientists report that scientists are testing monkeys to see if the monkeys would make good scientists. This would save money because the monkey scientists perform the experiments on themselves. However, it's not all good news though. Some scientists are going to be out of a job, unless, of course, they happen to be monkeys. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOxYKuaUqt8#t=31s [youtube.com]

Missed the mark (1)

Belial6 (794905) | more than 3 years ago | (#36591886)

While she may have had some valid things to say, they were vastly overshadowed by her example where she kept pointing out things that functioned exactly as designed and where no mistakes were made, and claiming that because they were bad for the unwashed masses, that they must have been mistakes.

Her basic premise was a mistake.

"Monkeys" non-generic for male, just as is "men". (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36592294)

It's a big duh that funds are only available to research what turns on MALE monkeys. And equally clear that the other primates posting comments were wearing their issued-at-birth "Females exist as people and potential equals?" blinders. But hey, no matter--who really cares what female primates want, anyway?

Re:"Monkeys" non-generic for male, just as is "men (2)

mug funky (910186) | more than 3 years ago | (#36592538)

um, they used alpha males as well. they did two sets of ads.

at least read the summary.

Re:"Monkeys" non-generic for male, just as is "men (1)

ArsenneLupin (766289) | more than 3 years ago | (#36595060)

It's a big duh that funds are only available to research what turns on MALE monkeys.

... and female bonobos...

Prior art: every Light Beer commercial ever (1)

sweatyboatman (457800) | more than 3 years ago | (#36592816)

seriously, light beer commercials are the most brain-dead things I have ever seen. How else are you going to sell that crap?

Tivo (1)

lytlebill (659903) | more than 3 years ago | (#36593132)

This just means that after teaching them how to use money, we'll have to teach them how to timeshift past all those annoying commercials.

At first.... (1)

CAIMLAS (41445) | more than 3 years ago | (#36593478)

At first I thought this was an acknowledgement of the poltical season being in full swing. Thankfully, this does not yet hold true, and we're actually talking about monkeys.

I already wondered what the gorilla (1)

dutchwhizzman (817898) | more than 3 years ago | (#36593968)

in the marketing department was doing there lately. It appears he's the new manager there.

Everybody's Got Something To Hide... (1)

Roblimo (357) | more than 3 years ago | (#36594102)

Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MN6ejvcV9Vs [youtube.com]

This sounds like something... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36594276)

This sounds like something Cave Johnson would come up with.

Fox network executives (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 3 years ago | (#36599644)

Well the Fox executives should be pleased. Someone else is doing their market research for them.....

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