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NASA Shoots Down Comet Elenin Doomsday Predictions

CmdrTaco posted about 3 years ago | from the phew-i-was-worried dept.

Earth 144

coondoggie writes "The comet Elenin, which will pass by Earth October 16, has generated such an inordinate amount of doomsday reports from a number of different sources that NASA today issued a release meant to address a variety of them. To address the myriad concerns, NASA said its scientists compiled a list of the most popular questions it has received about Elenin."

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That's so cool (2)

md65536 (670240) | about 3 years ago | (#37120140)

They shot down a comet?! With what, lasers or nukes? (I didn't bother to RTFS)

Re:That's so cool (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37120196)

Obviously they missed stupid-head. I just want to say that I will miss you guys. You're the best. Now to figure out how much money I can blow per day until 16 Oct given that blow is going to slowly increase in price over the next couple months.

why reading comprehension is important (1)

Thud457 (234763) | about 3 years ago | (#37121512)

NASA Shoots Down Comet Elenin, Doomsday!

tldr;

Re:That's so cool (1)

nopainogain (1091795) | about 3 years ago | (#37121948)

while you're blowing your money, let me sell you some real estate.

Re:That's so cool (5, Funny)

Nanosphere (1867972) | about 3 years ago | (#37120240)

They shot down a comet?! With what, lasers or nukes? (I didn't bother to RTFS)

DMCA takedown notice.

Re:That's so cool (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37120432)

Damn right [imdb.com] !

Re:That's so cool (1)

Bob the Super Hamste (1152367) | about 3 years ago | (#37121276)

I didn't know NASA was rolled into the DHS. I guess it is a good way of getting funding.

Re:That's so cool (1)

MikeyC01 (231948) | about 3 years ago | (#37120274)

It was Bruce Willis with a Makita and Aerosmith singing power ballads in the background.

Re:That's so cool (1)

hcs_$reboot (1536101) | about 3 years ago | (#37120332)

From TFA

NASA shoots down comet Elenin doom and gloom predictions (...)
At its closest point, it will be 22 million miles (35 million kilometers) from us. That's more than 90 times the distance to the Moon.

Looks like Bruce Willis can keep playing in turkeys.

Re:That's so cool (1)

smitty97 (995791) | about 3 years ago | (#37121552)

That's more than 90 times the distance to the Moon.

soo.. how far is that in football fields

Re:That's so cool (2)

kryliss (72493) | about 3 years ago | (#37121914)

~378,349,488 Football fields.....

Re:That's so cool (1)

dev.null.matt (2020578) | about 3 years ago | (#37121936)

.. more importantly, how many libraries of congress is this?

Re:That's so cool (1)

jeffmeden (135043) | about 3 years ago | (#37120414)

Good, so you didnt have to be exposed to this blatant racism:

And there is no such thing as a black dwarf

I mean come on.

Re:That's so cool (1)

itsdapead (734413) | about 3 years ago | (#37120580)

And there is no such thing as a black dwarf

What'choo talkin' about, NASA?

Re:That's so cool (2)

rubycodez (864176) | about 3 years ago | (#37120852)

On a more serious note, the term "black dwarf" can be used to describe a white dwarf star that has cooled to near absolute zero. There will not be such a thing in this universe for at least 10^15 years.

Re:That's so cool (1)

camperdave (969942) | about 3 years ago | (#37121426)

On a more serious note, the term "black dwarf" can be used to describe a white dwarf star that has cooled to near absolute zero. There will not be such a thing in this universe for at least 10^15 years.

So I guess that means, as the white dwarf cools, it will be come a Red Dwarf?

Re:That's so cool (1)

hairyfeet (841228) | about 3 years ago | (#37120728)

Nah the only shooting they did was of tinfoil hatters who had seen too many movies.

What I DO find funny though is that anyone would believe a word they say. Now I'm not a tinfoil hatter and thought they were full of shit, but does anyone here HONESTLY believe if an agency of the US government was to find out that something seriously fucking nasty was gonna happen to us that they couldn't stop that they would tell us? Not a chance in hell. There would be too much panic, too much rioting and looting, too much of humanity acting like crazed monkeys. Instead right up to the very last possible second they'd lie their asses off, while the rich and powerful quietly got shuttled to old NORAD shelters and the like.

So this press release is probably only for the "Your government is in control, nothing to see here" types. The tinfoil hatters certainly ain't gonna believe it, and those of us that have seen the US government lie their asses off repeatedly are gonna decide on our own about the comet and not gonna pay attention to this. But every time I see press releases like this I'm reminded of the old USAF manual my grandfather showed me. It said "There is NO SUCH THING as UFOs. But if you see one don't shoot at it." Which he would always laugh "Typical government logic. If it don't exist how in the hell am I supposed to be in a position to shoot at it?".

But expecting the US government to be honest about something nasty? Not gonna happen, too big of a risk of panic if there was something even slightly bad, just as my grandfather and those on the base were told if they see a UFO to report it to the CO but do NOT talk about it with a civilian, as it might cause panic. Hell that should probably be the motto of the US gov- DON'T PANIC.

Re:That's so cool (3, Informative)

rubycodez (864176) | about 3 years ago | (#37120794)

Not an issue with asteroids, too many astronomers independent of the U.S. government would see such a thing. It's the same with the tin foil hatters claiming huge amounts of radiation are blowing across the USA from the west, too many people could detect such a thing (including me)

Re:That's so cool (1)

DrVxD (184537) | about 3 years ago | (#37121192)

huge amounts of radiation are blowing across the USA from the west, too many people could detect such a thing (including me)

Tinfoil underpants may well protect you from detecting it.

Re:That's so cool (1)

hairyfeet (841228) | about 3 years ago | (#37121438)

Oh I didn't say I didn't think they weren't nutters, as I said the tinfoil hatters are by and large completely full of shit. I simply said anybody who thinks the government would detect something that was gonna seriously fuck our shit up and be honest with the people is likewise full of shit. Governments aren't in the business of being honest, they are in the business of keeping things running smooth. Things don't run smooth when the monkeys are freaked the fuck out so they would STFU.

And how far out can you detect? Because I have used amateur telescopes that make Jupiter look like the moon (got to be friends with an ex NASA engineer with a killer one, being able to watch Jupiter's moons go round? VERY cool) so I have no doubt the non pros could tell us when we were gonna have the bad day next week, but what about next year? Next decade? the USA has those killer space based rigs that I have no doubt make the stuff on the ground look like a $20 spyglass.

What radiation from the west? I guess I hadn't heard that one yet. I've heard of the comet, that "rogue planet" bit, the asteroid in 2029, but I must have missed a memo from the Tinfoil Hatters of America on the radiation thing. Where is it supposed to be coming from, China? Because I know we can pick up their pollution on the west coast.

Re:That's so cool (1)

rubycodez (864176) | about 3 years ago | (#37121876)

It isn't just the amateurs, but schools all around the globe have large telescopes. No way could any one government suppress students, faculty, visiting scientists. The University of Hawaii's Pan-STARRS has already found potentially hazardous asteroids, last September it found a fifty meter one (2010 ST3) at 20 million miles from earth.

Re:That's so cool (1)

cusco (717999) | about 3 years ago | (#37121878)

Fukushima. A ridiculous amount of this BS comes from Univision, the Spanish-language cable station that's associated to Sony in some way. You should have seen the build up prior to Y2K. When the ball dropped in Times Square the commentators were still saying things like, "No one knows what's going to happen in the next few minutes!" (In Spanish, of course.) My niece was so freaked out that she wouldn't let my wife and I go to the biggest freaking party the Space Needle has ever seen.

Re:That's so cool (1)

UnknowingFool (672806) | about 3 years ago | (#37121264)

It's not so much the government saying "trust us" but there is that axiom that extraordinay claims require extraordinary proof. The tinfoil hatters normally have some proof but mostly conjecture and leaps of logic to get to their conclusion.

For example, 2012 doom predictions where in December 2012 where alignment of the Earth will cause it to experience extra gravity. Thus it will knock the Earth out of orbit ending in catastrophe according to the tinfoil hatters. Astronomer Neil deGrasse Tyson explained it as such: Yes in Dec 2012, there will be extra gravity; however, it's not a problem because it happens every December. It's called the Winter Solstice, a fact that conspiracists leave out. You can check on that on your own.

Re:That's so cool (2)

Thud457 (234763) | about 3 years ago | (#37121664)

"Astronomer" Neil deGrasse Tyson

Like I'm really going to believe the dirty sonofabitch that assassinated Pluto.

Re:That's so cool (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37121910)

Dont Shoot at it? Hell thats unAmerican - was it a commie spy manual or something?

Back in my day (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37121214)

We didn't have to shoot down comets , they crashed of their own accord.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/De_Havilland_Comet

Nothing but FUD (4, Funny)

milbournosphere (1273186) | about 3 years ago | (#37120146)

Bruce Willis and the space shuttle would save us from any comet threat. What's that you say? The shuttle's been retired? Great, we're fucked.

Re:Nothing but FUD (4, Funny)

NonUniqueNickname (1459477) | about 3 years ago | (#37120308)

Wait, what? They were supposed to keep the space shuttle and retire Bruce Willis. We are so fucked.

Re:Nothing but FUD (1)

discord5 (798235) | about 3 years ago | (#37120550)

Wait, what? They were supposed to keep the space shuttle and retire Bruce Willis. We are so fucked.

We do keep the guy riding the nuke I hope?

Re:Nothing but FUD (1)

mfh (56) | about 3 years ago | (#37120736)

Slim Pickins is now slim pickens, I'm afraid.

Re:Nothing but FUD (1)

rubycodez (864176) | about 3 years ago | (#37120878)

unfortunately,he lost his will to fight that way, a woman caught him and is taking his fluids

Re:Nothing but FUD (1)

yabos (719499) | about 3 years ago | (#37120918)

He blowed up real good

Oh fuck! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37120158)

So much for getting out of my student loans!

Maybe an asteroid will hit next year? Or the plague?

Commies in space! (4, Funny)

jhhl (513935) | about 3 years ago | (#37120160)

... as if there were no threat from a comet named "eLenin"!

Re:Commies in space! (1)

itsdapead (734413) | about 3 years ago | (#37120444)

... as if there were no threat from a comet named "eLenin"!

No, no its ELEnin - as in "Extinction Level Event". Didn't you watch the documentary Deep Impact? (Well, it was virtually a documentary compared to Armageddon!)

...but don't worry, these things only ever fall on New York, Washington and a few non-US cities with distinctive landmarks. As long as you're at least 100 miles from the Taj Mahal, Eiffel Tower, Statue of Liberty or Big Ben you should be safe.

Re:Commies in space! (3, Funny)

idontgno (624372) | about 3 years ago | (#37120924)

You missed the other, more significant part of the comet's name. "eleNIN"... Which means the Extinction-Level Event involves Nine Inch Nails.

I knew Trent Reznor was wrapped up in this Doomsday thing. I just knew it. This comet is His herald, a harbinger of a brave new world full of stuff from NIN songs. And videos. And maybe Quake-related weaponry.

TDS (2)

ginbot462 (626023) | about 3 years ago | (#37122046)

>> I knew Trent Reznor was wrapped up in this Doomsday thing.

Yes, this Mr Self Destruct has seen the earth is ripe with decay of sin. Hurt, he gave up on the terrible lie. The mark has been made upon this heresy and the big man with a gun will lead a march of the pigs into a warm place. This ruiner will burn the last wish. And underneath ti all, in the great below, we will find our happiness in slavery. ... I could keep going, but I think you get it. Hell, you write a apocalyptic movie just out of The Fragile titles.

>> And maybe Quake-related weaponry.

Yes, definitely that. The apocalypse will have a kick ass soundtrack and add the ability to jump.

Re:Commies in space! (1)

2names (531755) | about 3 years ago | (#37120932)

You know who could stop this ELE? Nine Inch Nails.

Re:Commies in space! (1)

camperdave (969942) | about 3 years ago | (#37121502)

No, no its ELEnin - as in "Extinction Level Event".

Well, if ELE stands for Extinction Level Event, I guess the NIN must be some sort of Roman numeral designation... except I can't remember what N stands for. Perhaps it's a typo or transcription error, and should be MIM. That would make this "Extinction Level Event - 1999".

But that only raises the question "What's the hold-up? It's frickken 2011 over here."

Re:Commies in space! (1)

mswhippingboy (754599) | about 3 years ago | (#37120634)

... as if there were no threat from a comet named "eLenin"!

They were going to call it iLenin, but Apple threatened to sue.

Re:Commies in space! (1)

omnichad (1198475) | about 3 years ago | (#37121582)

Apple Computer AND Apple Records for similarity to Lennon

Re:Commies in space! (1)

Mindcontrolled (1388007) | about 3 years ago | (#37121542)

As long as it is eLenin, we are still kinda fine, all things considered. I shall run to the hills when eStalin appears, though.

Definitely something is going on (2)

mapkinase (958129) | about 3 years ago | (#37120214)

Otherwise why would they go at such length to debunk?

It cannot block Sun at this distance, so tt must be the brown dwarf...

Re:Definitely something is going on (2)

whiteboy86 (1930018) | about 3 years ago | (#37120452)

Doomsdayers are having a field day with this, look at this line (from the article) that really made me laugh.

I've heard about three days of darkness because of Comet Elenin. Will Elenin block out the Sun for three days?

The original article (4, Informative)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37120236)

http://www.nasa.gov/topics/solarsystem/features/comet_elenin.html

networkworld.com seems overloaded, and I probably don't want to see their ads anyway

Re:The original article (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | about 3 years ago | (#37120990)

http://www.nasa.gov/topics/solarsystem/features/comet_elenin.html

networkworld.com seems overloaded, and I probably don't want to see their ads anyway

Thank you and just to be annoying and all, why are we linking this guy's blog again? Did I miss the memo?

Official denial? (1)

benwiggy (1262536) | about 3 years ago | (#37120246)

"Never believe anything until it's been officially denied."

Sir Humphrey Appleby, "Yes Minister".

Uh huh. Sure. (1)

Ralph Spoilsport (673134) | about 3 years ago | (#37120266)

And when the Comet lands on their little pointy heads, WHAT THEN? I'll tell you - they'll be crawling to my crib begging, yes BEGGING to be my slave or minion as I will have all the food and bullets in my comfy Undisclosed Location. And then I will rule - yes RULE the world - MUUahahahaaaaaaa! So line up now, peons - the good minion jobs go fast. NEXT!

Re:Uh huh. Sure. (1)

beschra (1424727) | about 3 years ago | (#37120764)

How will they find you if you're in an Undisclosed Location?

Re:Uh huh. Sure. (1)

idontgno (624372) | about 3 years ago | (#37120856)

I assume it's like a Google recruitment thing. Solve the puzzle (complex math, cryptography, locating the Undisclosed Location) and submit your resume.

Me? I wouldn't work for either. I'll just go to my Vault-Tec Vault and wait for the fallout to settle and clear.

NASA article (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37120312)

I may have missed it, but the original article is here [nasa.gov]

Don't you believe it! (1)

DC2088 (2343764) | about 3 years ago | (#37120346)

I know the truth! That comet's been to Yuggoth, and the Mi-Go are PISSED that we told them their planet isn't a planet anymore. Expect a full fungal invasion! Ia! Ia!

Re:Don't you believe it! (1)

Mindcontrolled (1388007) | about 3 years ago | (#37120558)

Uhm, mate, hate to break it to you, the Mi-Go invasion is long over. They are into the whole mind-control thing, you know? Well, have you watched our elected leaders lately?

The good news is, they so far proved to be somewhat benevolent overlords, compared to what else is out there. The problem, however, is that their arch-nemesis He-Who-Is-Not-To-Be-Named, The Unspeakable One, has set his minion against them. Again, watch the latest politics, the minions set up to take power. The King In Yellow is walking the earth, and madness spreads in his path.

I have said to much. I shall have to close this journal. Something is out there... They are coming... IA! IA!

Re:Don't you believe it! (1)

DC2088 (2343764) | about 3 years ago | (#37120788)

Strange comets burn cold, away and afar
A beacon pulled by a sunken brown star,
But no star so dark as the ones that are
Above Dim Carcosa.

Yeah right, NASA (1)

drobety (2429764) | about 3 years ago | (#37120372)

Don't believe what NASA says, if the doomsday reports weren't true I wouldn't have maxed out my ten newly acquired credit cards and re-mortgaged my house five times to spend all in Vegas.

Re:Yeah right, NASA (1)

jeffmeden (135043) | about 3 years ago | (#37120484)

So you leveraged to the hilt, so that you could go take a chance at getting more money that you wont be able to spend anyway? Epic. (unless of course you found some other way to dispose of money in Vegas that didnt involve traditional gaming...)

Re:Yeah right, NASA (1)

splutty (43475) | about 3 years ago | (#37120996)

Hookers and blow, obviously!

Re:Yeah right, NASA (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37121356)

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Re:Yeah right, NASA (1)

Bob the Super Hamste (1152367) | about 3 years ago | (#37121386)

You have never walked the strip and seen all the guys handing out "calling cards"

Best quote from the Q&A (2)

SlashJoel (1145871) | about 3 years ago | (#37120382)

"It will have an immeasurably miniscule influence on our planet. By comparison, my subcompact automobile exerts a greater influence on the ocean's tides than comet Elenin ever will."

Re:Best quote from the Q&A (1)

demonbug (309515) | about 3 years ago | (#37121938)

"It will have an immeasurably miniscule influence on our planet. By comparison, my subcompact automobile exerts a greater influence on the ocean's tides than comet Elenin ever will."

No kidding. What the hell kind of subcompact can blot out the sun and cause the tectonic plates to shift?

Re:Best quote from the Q&A (1)

R3d M3rcury (871886) | about 3 years ago | (#37121996)

Oh shit! The worlds going to end due to some NASA's guy subcompact automobile! Run for the hills!

Deep Impact Called (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37120410)

They want their movie idea back.
-www.awkwardengineer.com [awkwardengineer.com]

The government (1)

Synerg1y (2169962) | about 3 years ago | (#37120416)

is lying so you can all sleep well at night, who needs comets when you have fission and fusion bombs?

Re:The government (1)

oldmac31310 (1845668) | about 3 years ago | (#37121866)

I slept very badly lastnight. So if I listen to/read more government lies I should be able to get a better night's sleep. Is that what you are saying? I have to admit I have been paying no attention to the news lately. Serves me right!

They failed to address the "Camping" variable (1)

grasshoppa (657393) | about 3 years ago | (#37120466)

http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/outreach/tracts/may21/ [ebiblefellowship.com]

It's not may 21st anymore, it's October 21st. That's a little too close for coincidence I think. /afk: going to go sell all my possessions, tell my kids they are going to hell, go on a massive road trip with stinky men in weird tshirts. Maybe I'll wear my tinfoil hat while I'm at it, who knows.

Re:They failed to address the "Camping" variable (1)

IMightB (533307) | about 3 years ago | (#37121272)

I'd like to know who believes that crap? Those that do should emulate Heavens Gate. I mean Time Cube is probably more believable. Religious Nuts have been predicting the End since before Christianity was a gleam in Zoroaster's eye. How many times has it come true?

Is ebiblefellowship the same wacko that predicted it on May 21 and was wrong?

The Rapture Index (http://www.raptureready.com/rap2.html) is another example of idiocy. Their indicators are War, Peace, Economy up, Economy down, Good Times, Bad Times, Natural Disasters, Anti-Semitism and more. Basically, shit that happens everyday on earth.

Re:They failed to address the "Camping" variable (1)

IMightB (533307) | about 3 years ago | (#37121312)

I should correct my self. I should have said "since before Christianity was a gleam in Ahura Mazda's eye".

Let's focus on relevant problems instead? (1)

w1nt3rmute (2165804) | about 3 years ago | (#37120486)

Why worry about something you have no control over and that only happens once every 1,000 centuries?

Huh? (1)

elsurexiste (1758620) | about 3 years ago | (#37120520)

Weird, never heard of Elenin until this article showed up. How do these doomsday scenarios appear? Do people just come up with a story after a bad trip?

Re:Huh? (1)

benjamindees (441808) | about 3 years ago | (#37121248)

Any good scientist should be open to the possibility that they have some basis in reality. Global floods somehow managed to make it into the histories of almost every major religion. We invent dragons and sea-serpents that bear a suspicious resemblance to reptiles that would have posed real threats to our evolutionary ancestors. Is it really a disaster [youtube.com] (such a catastrophe) [youtube.com] that the collective unconscious maintains a vigilance against the threat of astrological destruction?

Re:Huh? (2)

Bob the Super Hamste (1152367) | about 3 years ago | (#37121536)

My understanding is that the Global Flood myth that is in almost every religion is there because these early cultures (some settlements going back as far as the end of the last ice age [wikipedia.org] ) tended to settle in the fertile flood plains. Now given that there are such things as 1 in 100, 500 and 1000 year floods which wipe out large areas today I can only imagine what those primitive people would have thought of a flood like when Glacial Lake Missoula [wikipedia.org] would empty. A story like that would be carried down for generations by those who survived it passed on to other cultures and changed, because really how powerful is your god if they can only flood a river valley.

Doomsday Enthusiasts (1)

shambalagoon (714768) | about 3 years ago | (#37120548)

These doomsday enthusiasts must be really bored or unhappy people. It seems they get really excited about the prospect of something bringing about an end to their lives. Or they see it as a super-dramatic test where they can prove themselves worthy by surviving it.

Perhaps they should join the armed forces?

Re:Doomsday Enthusiasts (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | about 3 years ago | (#37121052)

These doomsday enthusiasts must be really bored or unhappy people. It seems they get really excited about the prospect of something bringing about an end to their lives. Or they see it as a super-dramatic test where they can prove themselves worthy by surviving it.

Perhaps they should join the armed forces?

If they want to be bored and unhappy and get excited about something that is likely to bring about the end of their lives, they should simply follow the US Presidential Election campaign. Eighteen months and counting!

Re:Doomsday Enthusiasts (1)

Bob the Super Hamste (1152367) | about 3 years ago | (#37121562)

If they want to be bored and unhappy and get excited about something that is likely to bring about the end of their lives, they should simply follow the US Presidential Election campaign. Eighteen months and counting!

We need a US Presidential Election Campaign drinking game. Now that I could get excited about and it probably would bring about the end to some people's lives.

FAQ from NASA (4, Informative)

bziman (223162) | about 3 years ago | (#37120556)

The actual FAQ from NASA [nasa.gov] was posted two weeks ago. Nice of someone to link to it.

Re:FAQ from NASA (1)

oneiros27 (46144) | about 3 years ago | (#37120602)

Thanks ... it keeps me from having to look at the coondoggie / NetworkWorld blog spam with lots of self-referrential links, and rarely actually links to their source.

Black Dwarf (2)

C_Kode (102755) | about 3 years ago | (#37120598)

And there is no such thing as a black dwarf

That's racist!

Re:Black Dwarf (1)

PPH (736903) | about 3 years ago | (#37121410)

Gary Coleman is turning over in his grave.

Re:Black Dwarf (1)

joebok (457904) | about 3 years ago | (#37122060)

So - is that then a black pulsar?

Must Be American Idol Fans (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37120656)

I love the "If it's not a big deal deal then why aren't you talking about it?" section. I can see the poor scientist dying a little inside.

Misleading headline (1)

chinton (151403) | about 3 years ago | (#37120680)

It've been cooler if they had actually shot down the comet.

At first I thought . . . (1)

fortfive (1582005) | about 3 years ago | (#37120782)

it's a telling comment on the horrible shape of our educational system that NASA has to explain there is no such thing as a black dwarf, and other misconceptions.

Then I thought, more hopefully, that if there are so many people who have so much time and consternation to devote to the possibility of a 3-day comet eclipse, such that NASA has to officially respond, then things overall are probably not that bad.

Car analogy (2)

Lord Grey (463613) | about 3 years ago | (#37120804)

Great answer (emphasis mine):

Can [Comet Elenin] influence us from where it is, or where it will be in the future? Can this celestial object cause shifting of the tides or even tectonic plates here on Earth?

... comets are not the most densely-packed objects out there. They usually have the density of something akin to loosely packed icy dirt. "So you've got a modest-sized icy dirtball that is getting no closer than 35 million kilometers (about 22 million miles)," said [Don Yeomans, a scientist at NASA JPL]. "It will have an immeasurably miniscule influence on our planet. By comparison, my subcompact automobile exerts a greater influence on the ocean's tides than comet Elenin ever will.

Oh, those wacky people at JPL. Always finding new ways to make Joe Average understand science.

Re:Car analogy (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | about 3 years ago | (#37121136)

A car analogy.

They must follow us here on Slashdot. I am humbled.

Re:Car analogy (1)

Bob the Super Hamste (1152367) | about 3 years ago | (#37121584)

They probably do.

Re:Car analogy (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37121292)

Wait, aren't automobiles causing global warming that will have some pretty dramatic effects on the oceans?

I see what you did there nasa.

Re:Car analogy (1)

SnarfQuest (469614) | about 3 years ago | (#37121718)

So, is he claiming that his car caused the Japanes tsunamis?

Imagine the next disaster movie "Subcompact!". A retired NASA shuttle pilot must carefully drive a car containing a black hole from New York to Las Angelos while his crazy diaper wearing girlfriend keeps trying to steal his car and shoot his other girlfriend.

NOSO (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37120854)

Yeah yeah yadi yada!! Of course now NASA is coming to shoot down the ridiculously obvious and make the whole thing seem ridiculous. I bet the doomsayers are same as the debunkers.

self-promotion (2)

pz (113803) | about 3 years ago | (#37120916)

The submitting author's UID is coondoggie. The article's stated author is Michael Cooney. Perhaps we can have conflict-of-interest information more explicit, Taco, please?

Re:self-promotion (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37121184)

try clicking the coondoggie link. it's not that hard to figure out.

Re:self-promotion (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37121414)

of his stuff [slashdot.org] is like that.

It's not a comet (1)

flatcat (464267) | about 3 years ago | (#37121204)

It's an alien space craft, make sure you have your Nike's on.

Tunguska (1)

rossdee (243626) | about 3 years ago | (#37121230)

In (pre soviet) Russia, Comet shoots down YOU!

Re:Tunguska (1)

Bob the Super Hamste (1152367) | about 3 years ago | (#37121700)

There is probably a very large overlap of people who where e-mailing NASA about comet Elenin and those who believe that the Tunguska blast was not caused by a comet or rocky meteorite but instead a failed test of Tesla's, alien space craft, alien weapon, or some other goofy thing. Probably not a direct mapping because there are people like my mother who if she heard that a comet was going to hit earth would believe it but generally isn't into conspiracy theories (just don't ask about Kennedy).

Re:Tunguska (0)

arthurpaliden (939626) | about 3 years ago | (#37121788)

We all know that Jackie had it done. She wanted a divorce because Johnny boy was playing the field but being a good Catholic there was no why it could happen. So she did the next best thing. And the rest, as they say, is history.

FAQ (1)

PPH (736903) | about 3 years ago | (#37121344)

Q: When performing your analysis, did you use, feet, meters, or furlongs?

NASA: Er, em. Let us get back to you about that comet missing the earth issue.

Carefully Crafted (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37121874)

artical title, because we are morons! The whole lot of us!

Nasa, utilizing the arsenal of resources at it's diposal has successfully and completely shot down, obliterated, and vaporized any and all rements of the fast approaching Doomsday Comet Elenin Predictions

They really (1)

Dunbal (464142) | about 3 years ago | (#37121954)

They really have no idea how the mind of a conspiracy theorist works. Denying it in this fashion will only prove it to be true.

NASA is out to kill us! (1)

Chris Burke (6130) | about 3 years ago | (#37121968)

From TFA, quoting Don Yeomans, a scientist at NASA JPL:

"So you've got a modest-sized icy dirtball that is getting no closer than 35 million kilometers [about 22 million miles)," said Yeomans. "It will have an immeasurably miniscule influence on our planet. By comparison, my subcompact automobile exerts a greater influence on the ocean's tides than comet Elenin ever will."

ZOMG! That damn scientist's car is changing the earth's tides, and the bastard admits it!

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