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Deep-Sea Squid Mate and Run

Unknown Lamer posted about 3 years ago | from the disappear-before-morning dept.

Science 62

sciencehabit writes with a piece about deep sea squid in Science. Quoting the article: "Like actors in a scene from a bawdy farce, many squid don't know whom to woo when the lights go down. Deep in California's Monterey Bay, small squid belonging to the species Octopoteuthis deletron suffer from frequent cases of mistaken identity, a new study suggests. Males commonly try to mate with males as well as females, hinting that in the dark, these invertebrates may settle for whatever squid passes by. But their indiscriminate attention might improve the odds that they are occasionally successful."

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Obvious (2)

Hatta (162192) | about 3 years ago | (#37468746)

Who wants to wake up next to a squid?

Re:Obvious (2)

squidflakes (905524) | about 3 years ago | (#37469120)

/raises hand

Re:Obvious (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37469934)

/raises hand

As a fellow Slithy, I'd like to meet up with you sometime. But should that prove impossible, I'll just spooge on the next person I run into.

Re:Obvious (1)

TheLink (130905) | about 3 years ago | (#37469926)

If the squid is prepared well it might make for a nice breakfast.

Re:Obvious (1)

EdIII (1114411) | about 3 years ago | (#37473266)

Depends. Are we talking about the ones from Galaxy Quest that can morph into a chick like Missi Pyle?

Let's face it. Shape shifting aliens probably, at a minimum, doubles the chances for a significant portion of Slashdotters getting some. The rest are just doubling zero.

Although we both know that dude on Galaxy Quest was high as a mother fucker through the whole movie.

Re:Obvious (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37475166)

We can only wait for the porn version of the Galaxy Quest, call it Galaxy Sex Quest, where the location those tentacles went into is fully revealed along the obvious other recreational activities our human heroes engage in.

Re:Obvious (1)

qfman (1983486) | more than 2 years ago | (#37499776)

Everybody knows that almost all squid are bisexual.

I like it! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37468770)

Be bisexual and double your chances!

Re:I like it! (2)

Jeng (926980) | about 3 years ago | (#37468880)

Squids aren't so much bisexual, more like rapesexual.

Re:I like it! (5, Funny)

Nadaka (224565) | about 3 years ago | (#37468990)

So, you are saying that the Japanese were right?

Re:I like it! (1)

DamienNightbane (768702) | about 3 years ago | (#37472198)

So like Ben Roethlisberger?

Re:I like it! (1)

ByOhTek (1181381) | about 3 years ago | (#37469072)

Omnisexual might be a better term, they'll go for whoever swims by.

Re:I like it! (1)

Gaygirlie (1657131) | about 3 years ago | (#37470386)

they'll go for whoever swims by.

I draw the line at 6 legs, myself.

Re:I like it! (1)

skywhale (664067) | about 3 years ago | (#37470428)

Surely "Trysexual", like Freddie Mercury? He'd try and have sex with anything.

Re:I like it! (1)

ByOhTek (1181381) | about 3 years ago | (#37470530)

No, he stopped at women, I thought.

Re:I like it! (1)

Shark (78448) | about 3 years ago | (#37470724)

The question is... Where did he start?

Re:I like it! (1)

SleazyRidr (1563649) | about 3 years ago | (#37469376)

That's my strategy!

Even more common among Appalachian Mud Squids (1)

elrous0 (869638) | about 3 years ago | (#37468772)

Those things will bang about anything that moves (or doesn't), especially when they're on the liquor...which is pretty much most of the time.

Re:Even more common among Appalachian Mud Squids (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37469030)

The boat is NOT a toy!

The boat is MINE!

Re:Even more common among Appalachian Mud Squids (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37471020)

Sounds like most elected republicans elected for office !

Don't be anal, shit happens (1)

lecheiron (2441744) | about 3 years ago | (#37468810)

strangely, Japanese erotica pop to mind.

Re:Don't be anal, shit happens (1)

Tsingi (870990) | about 3 years ago | (#37468940)

strangely, Japanese erotica pop to mind.

A serious problem dude, you should have that looked into.

Re:Don't be anal, shit happens (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37469114)

he should have the japanese looked into for their penchant for tentacle porn?

Re:Don't be anal, shit happens (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37469498)

Sigh, don't explain the joke...

He should have the porn looked into. As in, looked at.

W00t 7p (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37468842)

Wor4 that you wall: *BSD faces a turd-suckingly

After the 12th beer... (1)

wiredog (43288) | about 3 years ago | (#37468850)

Any of us could make that mistake.

Re:After the 12th beer... (1)

udachny (2454394) | about 3 years ago | (#37468938)

Speak for yourself. You need 6 beers and a bottle of vodka here.

Re:After the 12th beer... (1)

ByOhTek (1181381) | about 3 years ago | (#37469096)

No. I'd be too unconscious.

Re:After the 12th beer... (2)

wintercolby (1117427) | about 3 years ago | (#37469200)

Then you'd be the victim of the mistake.

Re:After the 12th beer... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37469618)

That would be a mistake too...

Re:After the 12th beer... (1)

EdIII (1114411) | about 3 years ago | (#37473168)

Yeah..... my friend keeps telling me that too..... even though in the dark recesses of the bar the rest of my friends and I could see the world class Adam's Apple on this "chick".

I had more than he did, by a large margin, so I don't buy it. However, him finding out was an absolute classic. Good times.

One Eyed Zipper Squids (1)

drpimp (900837) | about 3 years ago | (#37468896)

Specifically in remote, rural areas seem to suffer the same fate. GIT ER DUN!

Re:One Eyed Zipper Squids (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37468914)

Oblig Squidbillies quote:
DO IT TO IT!

Re:One Eyed Zipper Squids (1)

Archangel Michael (180766) | about 3 years ago | (#37469012)

You obviously have never been to San Fransisco

Re:One Eyed Zipper Squids (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37470896)

To be fair SF is the pretty obvious answer. OMG TEH GAZE

I've seen enough Hentai... (2, Funny)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37468954)

to know where this is going.

Re:I've seen enough Hentai... (1)

Anon-Admin (443764) | about 3 years ago | (#37469078)

Any where they can stick it.

Duh ... (2)

gstoddart (321705) | about 3 years ago | (#37469002)

This seems fairly obvious. Squid will eat anything, including other squid.

I suspect this is to prevent your potential mate from turning you into dinner. So, fertilize and run like hell seems like a good strategy.

Re:Duh ... (3, Interesting)

Rogerborg (306625) | about 3 years ago | (#37469702)

It's so obvious that it's stated clearly in the article that you didn't bother reading. Hit Submit and run like hell works pretty well on Slashdot, right?

Re:Duh ... (1)

gstoddart (321705) | about 3 years ago | (#37470424)

It's so obvious that it's stated clearly in the article that you didn't bother reading. Hit Submit and run like hell works pretty well on Slashdot, right?

And, what did you contribute other than a snide remark?

Shallow water squid will eat each other if they get too close. At depths when they can't see one another, it's hardly surprising they would run like hell after an attempt at mating.

This is like a lot of other science ... when someone observes it and documents it, it's fairly obvious. Until someone observes it, it's a complete mystery.

That doesn't mean that even if you only know a small amount about squid, you might not read the summary and kinda go "well, yeah, they're carnivorous".

Sfirst (-1)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37469084)

Octopoteuthis deletron (1)

mfwitten (1906728) | about 3 years ago | (#37469110)

It sounds like a new secret weapon of the Cybermen [wikipedia.org] : The brain of a squid fused with the advanced cybernetic technology of a parallel world; it's only purpose is to delete from existence those species that are incompatible with such an upgrade.

You are not compatible!
You will be DELETED!

Explains a lot. (1)

RivenAleem (1590553) | about 3 years ago | (#37469146)

I hear they wash up on Jersey Shore.

It works! (1)

squidflakes (905524) | about 3 years ago | (#37469156)

This is pretty much the way I've been mating for the last 15 years, and its highly effective.

Of course, you don't make too many friends and its tempting to deny you're the father of the uglier children that are sometimes brought around, but overall its a rather successful strategy.

Re:It works! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37473714)

This is pretty much the way I've been mating for the last 15 years

What, you lurk in a dark corner and smear your sperm on anything that comes by? I doubt you get to sire much that way. They're cheating you for alimony.

This could also be titled... (1)

d.the.duck (2100600) | about 3 years ago | (#37469178)

Deep-sea squids display amazing human-like characteristics.

I've tried this and it doesn't work ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37469310)

This is clearly wrong. I've tried this same technique around the office. Most of the time, I'm just humping the printer, the desk, file cabinet and in / out trays. Only very rarely do I find that I'm humping an office-mate. About 80% of the time, it is a guy which gets me hit. The remaining 20% of the time, the girl blurts out "Sicko!" and threatens to call my boss who I've been lucky enough not to have humped (yet).

Re:I've tried this and it doesn't work ... (2)

SleazyRidr (1563649) | about 3 years ago | (#37469450)

Clearly you need to hump your boss to work your way up the food chain.

Seems I have something in common with squid... (1)

Saishuuheiki (1657565) | about 3 years ago | (#37469390)

...I can't tell which are male or female either.

I am reminded of a song my cousins would sing... (2)

Kemanorel (127835) | about 3 years ago | (#37469586)

"Any ol' port in a storm!"

Re:I am reminded of a song my cousins would sing.. (1)

kanto (1851816) | about 3 years ago | (#37469960)

I got the "Blue Oyster Bar" song in my head when reading, oddly fitting.

Fascinating survival strategy in the article (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37469694)

When males spot a passing female, they smear them with sperm-laden globs called spermatophores, using obscenely long organs. Once plopped down, the spermatophores likely burst open, releasing clingy sperm pouches that then glom onto the female's torso and tentacles.

SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET

Unnatural Squid are an abonimation onto God... (3, Funny)

bodland (522967) | about 3 years ago | (#37470154)

No wonder that calamari is off Leviticus' menu....unnatural fin-less fish. They obviously choose to mate with their own sex, these squid make bad lifestyle choices, they are ruining traditional marriage.

missed the weirdest part of the article (3, Informative)

circletimessquare (444983) | about 3 years ago | (#37470400)

these squid don't mate at all

they literally shoot passing squid with little sperm packets that embed themselves permanently. the investigators determined that these squid mate indiscriminately because they counted just as many rocket injection sites on males as on females

so these squid aren't bisexual or gay, they are kineto-sexual. they just sexually shoot other squid

Re:missed the weirdest part of the article (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37473548)

so these squid aren't bisexual or gay, they are kineto-sexual. they just sexually shoot other squid

like a Zune!

Re:missed the weirdest part of the article (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37474088)

So it's like full body facial done with a taser.

Or maybe (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37473610)

they just like giving shokushu bukkake to boys and girls alike. I mean, why do we like it? Any Darwinian reason for that?

Bukkake squids! (1)

azrael29a (1349629) | about 3 years ago | (#37474122)

Bukkake squids FTW!

Interesting Etymology (1)

FrankDrebin (238464) | about 3 years ago | (#37474870)

It turns out that the male squid also squawks "call you tomorrow" during his drive-by shooting. Of course male squids never do. The revenge of the jilted female squid involves hacking the male's limbs off and deep-frying them while mockingly repeating "call ya' 'morrow". This is why we call it calimari.

Re:Interesting Etymology (1)

Macgrrl (762836) | about 3 years ago | (#37476302)

No wonder Cthulhu is pissed.

Release the Kraken! (1)

gentryx (759438) | about 3 years ago | (#37474972)

With whom will it mate?

While the hairy-nosed wombat... (1)

BlogTheHaggis (1361307) | about 3 years ago | (#37476260)

...eats, roots and leaves
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