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Deep-Sea Squid Mate and Run

Unknown Lamer posted more than 2 years ago | from the disappear-before-morning dept.

Science 62

sciencehabit writes with a piece about deep sea squid in Science. Quoting the article: "Like actors in a scene from a bawdy farce, many squid don't know whom to woo when the lights go down. Deep in California's Monterey Bay, small squid belonging to the species Octopoteuthis deletron suffer from frequent cases of mistaken identity, a new study suggests. Males commonly try to mate with males as well as females, hinting that in the dark, these invertebrates may settle for whatever squid passes by. But their indiscriminate attention might improve the odds that they are occasionally successful."

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62 comments

Obvious (2)

Hatta (162192) | more than 2 years ago | (#37468746)

Who wants to wake up next to a squid?

Re:Obvious (2)

squidflakes (905524) | more than 2 years ago | (#37469120)

/raises hand

Re:Obvious (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37469934)

/raises hand

As a fellow Slithy, I'd like to meet up with you sometime. But should that prove impossible, I'll just spooge on the next person I run into.

Re:Obvious (1)

EdIII (1114411) | more than 2 years ago | (#37473266)

Depends. Are we talking about the ones from Galaxy Quest that can morph into a chick like Missi Pyle?

Let's face it. Shape shifting aliens probably, at a minimum, doubles the chances for a significant portion of Slashdotters getting some. The rest are just doubling zero.

Although we both know that dude on Galaxy Quest was high as a mother fucker through the whole movie.

Re:Obvious (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37475166)

We can only wait for the porn version of the Galaxy Quest, call it Galaxy Sex Quest, where the location those tentacles went into is fully revealed along the obvious other recreational activities our human heroes engage in.

I like it! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37468770)

Be bisexual and double your chances!

Re:I like it! (1)

ByOhTek (1181381) | more than 2 years ago | (#37469072)

Omnisexual might be a better term, they'll go for whoever swims by.

Even more common among Appalachian Mud Squids (1)

elrous0 (869638) | more than 2 years ago | (#37468772)

Those things will bang about anything that moves (or doesn't), especially when they're on the liquor...which is pretty much most of the time.

Re:Even more common among Appalachian Mud Squids (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37469030)

The boat is NOT a toy!

The boat is MINE!

Re:Even more common among Appalachian Mud Squids (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37471020)

Sounds like most elected republicans elected for office !

Don't be anal, shit happens (1)

lecheiron (2441744) | more than 2 years ago | (#37468810)

strangely, Japanese erotica pop to mind.

Re:Don't be anal, shit happens (1)

Tsingi (870990) | more than 2 years ago | (#37468940)

strangely, Japanese erotica pop to mind.

A serious problem dude, you should have that looked into.

Re:Don't be anal, shit happens (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37469114)

he should have the japanese looked into for their penchant for tentacle porn?

Re:Don't be anal, shit happens (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37469498)

Sigh, don't explain the joke...

He should have the porn looked into. As in, looked at.

W00t 7p (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37468842)

Wor4 that you wall: *BSD faces a turd-suckingly

After the 12th beer... (1)

wiredog (43288) | more than 2 years ago | (#37468850)

Any of us could make that mistake.

Re:After the 12th beer... (1)

EdIII (1114411) | more than 2 years ago | (#37473168)

Yeah..... my friend keeps telling me that too..... even though in the dark recesses of the bar the rest of my friends and I could see the world class Adam's Apple on this "chick".

I had more than he did, by a large margin, so I don't buy it. However, him finding out was an absolute classic. Good times.

One Eyed Zipper Squids (1)

drpimp (900837) | more than 2 years ago | (#37468896)

Specifically in remote, rural areas seem to suffer the same fate. GIT ER DUN!

Re:One Eyed Zipper Squids (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37468914)

Oblig Squidbillies quote:
DO IT TO IT!

Duh ... (2)

gstoddart (321705) | more than 2 years ago | (#37469002)

This seems fairly obvious. Squid will eat anything, including other squid.

I suspect this is to prevent your potential mate from turning you into dinner. So, fertilize and run like hell seems like a good strategy.

Re:Duh ... (3, Interesting)

Rogerborg (306625) | more than 2 years ago | (#37469702)

It's so obvious that it's stated clearly in the article that you didn't bother reading. Hit Submit and run like hell works pretty well on Slashdot, right?

Re:Duh ... (1)

gstoddart (321705) | more than 2 years ago | (#37470424)

It's so obvious that it's stated clearly in the article that you didn't bother reading. Hit Submit and run like hell works pretty well on Slashdot, right?

And, what did you contribute other than a snide remark?

Shallow water squid will eat each other if they get too close. At depths when they can't see one another, it's hardly surprising they would run like hell after an attempt at mating.

This is like a lot of other science ... when someone observes it and documents it, it's fairly obvious. Until someone observes it, it's a complete mystery.

That doesn't mean that even if you only know a small amount about squid, you might not read the summary and kinda go "well, yeah, they're carnivorous".

Octopoteuthis deletron (1)

mfwitten (1906728) | more than 2 years ago | (#37469110)

It sounds like a new secret weapon of the Cybermen [wikipedia.org]: The brain of a squid fused with the advanced cybernetic technology of a parallel world; it's only purpose is to delete from existence those species that are incompatible with such an upgrade.

You are not compatible!
You will be DELETED!

It works! (1)

squidflakes (905524) | more than 2 years ago | (#37469156)

This is pretty much the way I've been mating for the last 15 years, and its highly effective.

Of course, you don't make too many friends and its tempting to deny you're the father of the uglier children that are sometimes brought around, but overall its a rather successful strategy.

Re:It works! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37473714)

This is pretty much the way I've been mating for the last 15 years

What, you lurk in a dark corner and smear your sperm on anything that comes by? I doubt you get to sire much that way. They're cheating you for alimony.

I've tried this and it doesn't work ... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37469310)

This is clearly wrong. I've tried this same technique around the office. Most of the time, I'm just humping the printer, the desk, file cabinet and in / out trays. Only very rarely do I find that I'm humping an office-mate. About 80% of the time, it is a guy which gets me hit. The remaining 20% of the time, the girl blurts out "Sicko!" and threatens to call my boss who I've been lucky enough not to have humped (yet).

Fascinating survival strategy in the article (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37469694)

When males spot a passing female, they smear them with sperm-laden globs called spermatophores, using obscenely long organs. Once plopped down, the spermatophores likely burst open, releasing clingy sperm pouches that then glom onto the female's torso and tentacles.

SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET

Unnatural Squid are an abonimation onto God... (3, Funny)

bodland (522967) | more than 2 years ago | (#37470154)

No wonder that calamari is off Leviticus' menu....unnatural fin-less fish. They obviously choose to mate with their own sex, these squid make bad lifestyle choices, they are ruining traditional marriage.

missed the weirdest part of the article (3, Informative)

circletimessquare (444983) | more than 2 years ago | (#37470400)

these squid don't mate at all

they literally shoot passing squid with little sperm packets that embed themselves permanently. the investigators determined that these squid mate indiscriminately because they counted just as many rocket injection sites on males as on females

so these squid aren't bisexual or gay, they are kineto-sexual. they just sexually shoot other squid

Re:missed the weirdest part of the article (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37473548)

so these squid aren't bisexual or gay, they are kineto-sexual. they just sexually shoot other squid

like a Zune!

Re:missed the weirdest part of the article (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37474088)

So it's like full body facial done with a taser.

Or maybe (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37473610)

they just like giving shokushu bukkake to boys and girls alike. I mean, why do we like it? Any Darwinian reason for that?

Interesting Etymology (1)

FrankDrebin (238464) | more than 2 years ago | (#37474870)

It turns out that the male squid also squawks "call you tomorrow" during his drive-by shooting. Of course male squids never do. The revenge of the jilted female squid involves hacking the male's limbs off and deep-frying them while mockingly repeating "call ya' 'morrow". This is why we call it calimari.
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