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The Nine Circles of IT Hell

Soulskill posted about 3 years ago | from the have-you-tried-turning-it-off-and-then-on-again dept.

IT 126

snydeq writes "Dan Tynan takes us on a tour of the nine circles of IT hell, a place 'not unlike the underworld described by Dante in his Divine Comedy.' 'But here, in the data centers, conference rooms, and cubicles, the IT version of this inferno is no allegory. It is a very real test of every IT pro's sanity and soul,' Tynan writes. From IT limbo, to tech lust, to stakeholder gluttony, to tech-pro treachery, the IT inferno is not buried deep within the earth, it's just down the hall. 'Thankfully, as in Dante's poetic universe, there are ways to escape the nine circles of IT hell. But IT pros beware: You may have to face your own devils to do it. Shall we descend?'"

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E caddi, come corpo morto cade (3)

aBaldrich (1692238) | about 3 years ago | (#37591212)

If he adds a "how to escape" for each circle, then he did not read it. Virgil had to convince Charon to let them in...

Re:E caddi, come corpo morto cade (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37591352)

Managers wondering why they have calendar issues when the delegated admin assistant creates and edits calendar items, and the CEO is doing the same on his iphone, ipad, blackberry and laptop.

Re:E caddi, come corpo morto cade (2)

TheLink (130905) | about 3 years ago | (#37591490)

Well his escape tips might not work 100%. For example:

That means making sure you have the tech expertise in house to solve your own problems, going with open source to avoid vendor lock-in

The last I checked, Reiserfs had vendor lock-in ;).

Seriously though, not everyone can afford to have sufficient tech expertise in-house to fix say xorg or the linux sound system. Or network performance issues when you have 1000 vlan interfaces (issues which the kernel devs may not bother fixing since they don't run environments which need 1000 different VLANs).

Layer 1 (2)

Murdoch5 (1563847) | about 3 years ago | (#37591220)

Users who can't find the any key.

Layer 2 (1)

Moheeheeko (1682914) | about 3 years ago | (#37591252)

Users who cannot find the power button

Re:Layer 3 (1)

AwesomeMcgee (2437070) | about 3 years ago | (#37591344)

Users who are managers.

Re:Layer 4 (1)

Covalent (1001277) | about 3 years ago | (#37591392)

Users who are afraid they broke their monitor because it powered off after 15 minutes.

Layer 5 (2)

PwnzerDragoon (2014464) | about 3 years ago | (#37593282)

Users who are shocked to learn their mouse has a second button.

Re:Layer 5 (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37593430)

Marketing.

Re:Layer 4 (1)

cayenne8 (626475) | about 3 years ago | (#37593572)

Users who are afraid they broke their monitor because it powered off after 15 minutes.

???

Is everyone where you're at running laptops or something?

Re:Layer 4 (1)

Opportunist (166417) | about 3 years ago | (#37596310)

As if that weren't the standard setting for desktop these days...

Re:Layer 3 (1)

Opportunist (166417) | about 3 years ago | (#37596304)

Why the tautology?

Re:Layer 1 (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37591270)

You might want to take a refresher course on OSI layers.

Re:Layer 1 (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37591560)

Please do not teach students pointless acronyms.

1) physical
2) datalink
3) network
4) transport
5) session
6) presentation
7) application

That's the basics, there should be a layer 0 (is is plugged in?) and a layer 8 (users).

Re:Layer 1 (2)

BSAtHome (455370) | about 3 years ago | (#37591584)

You forgot the most important layers:
8) friends
9) money
10) politics

Re:Layer 1 (2)

AvitarX (172628) | about 3 years ago | (#37592126)

Is it plugged in is totally part of physical.

It's the first check on the physical layer.

Re:Layer 1 (1)

Opportunist (166417) | about 3 years ago | (#37596314)

Hush! I don't want my users to know I'm insulting them if I tell them there's an OSI-layer 8 problem with their computer and that that part needs to be thrown out and replaced!

Not painful enough! (2)

khasim (1285) | about 3 years ago | (#37591418)

That's a per user problem. There's an "Oh! Yeah!" moment at the end of it.

For REAL Hell, from TFA:

How many of us have been abandoned by our vendors to IT limbo, only to find ourselves falling victim to app dev anger when in-house developers are asked to pick up the slack?

Here, spend YEARS supporting something you didn't write.

I wish IT management would understand that part of their job is PRUNING systems. If it is unsupported / undocumented, then put together a plan to either remove it or further isolate it so it can be removed in the future.

Re:Not painful enough! (3, Insightful)

Synerg1y (2169962) | about 3 years ago | (#37592486)

The key here is communication, I find the more of my day I devot to communication at the cost of getting less stuff done, the better my position becomes. As a coder you can spend a week fixing a part of the system of your own initiative and good will, my point is... propose your project, document it, explain the scope to the best of your ability, as a side-effect its a lot easier to ask for longer time lines when you follow all these steps. The disconnect between IT and senior management is communication, the managers want to manage and know what's going on, but IT is too complex for them so they hire you. Make sense? There is usually a very uneasy trust between IT and senior management that you have to compensate for as well....

There's one big problem with that. (1)

khasim (1285) | about 3 years ago | (#37593556)

The key here is communication, I find the more of my day I devot to communication at the cost of getting less stuff done, the better my position becomes.

The problem with that is that all it takes to ruin it is someone claiming to be able to do more, better, flashier, etc.

Particularly if they have access to a nice golf course.

There will always be someone who devote even less time than you to getting something accomplished ... so that they can spend that additional time selling management on the latest fad.

And blaming you for any problems.

The only way around this is for management to have SOME understanding of the levels below them. Isn't that why they're paid the management salaries and bonuses in the first place?

Re:There's one big problem with that. (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37594078)

Isn't that why they're paid the management salaries and bonuses in the first place?

No. Nepotism and knowing the right people is the reason. From the places I've seen, knowledge or understanding have very little to do with it.

Eight of them are Microsoft (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37591256)

The Ninth is the guy who always breaks the scanner with his ass.

Re:Eight of them are Microsoft (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37591294)

Fortunately the, "this guy is a monumental jackass" problem is usually pretty easy to deal with.

It's the, "I want everything, I want it perfect, I want it tomorrow and I want it for free" problem that I have problems with.

Because, "I'm afraid that's unrealistic" is hard to say when you know their internal monologue is going to be, "What the fuck do I pay these people for? I need people with can-do attitudes."

Re:Eight of them are Microsoft (1)

shentino (1139071) | about 3 years ago | (#37594014)

Simple.

When you make unreasonable demands and threaten to fire people for not giving you what they want, you give the cheaters a head start and put honest folks at a disadvantage.

The honest folks get crowded out, and cheating becomes the standard course, and from there it's a race to the bottom as management gets more and more demanding.

When you care only about results and don't give a damn about the methods, don't be surprised if social darwinism kills the ethical side of things and lets the nastiest players get all the goodies.

and salvation is in da cloud (1)

alen (225700) | about 3 years ago | (#37591258)

if IT only put everything in da cloud they would spend days with their 72 virgins

Re:and salvation is in da cloud (3, Insightful)

ColdWetDog (752185) | about 3 years ago | (#37591278)

if IT only put everything in da cloud they would spend days with their 72 virgins

Well that's a pretty large IT group, but from what I see around here, it seems that most IT staffs are largely comprised of virgins...

Re:and salvation is in da cloud (5, Funny)

SJHillman (1966756) | about 3 years ago | (#37591288)

For large companies, their IT department *is* 72 virgins

Re:and salvation is in da cloud (1)

bursch-X (458146) | about 3 years ago | (#37596010)

Yeah, but male one's. Who'd want that?

Re:and salvation is in da cloud (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37592012)

I don't want virgins, give me 72 slutty broads that know what they're doing.

Re:and salvation is in da cloud (3, Insightful)

V!NCENT (1105021) | about 3 years ago | (#37593528)

No. The only salvation is professionalism.

I realise that I will be shot for saying this, but how come that the only thing that's running horribly in an entire company, is the IT department?

There is a way to just make near-bug-free software on time and the evidence for that rediculous claim is NASA.

I took the liberty of finding the answer to everyone's horror. But before you click on it, you do have to realise that your playground will be over once implementing the solution.

All text-only print-format before your head realy explodes out of anger (ofcourse): http://www.fastcompany.com/node/28121/print [fastcompany.com]

Re:and salvation is in da cloud (1)

DigitalNate (773666) | about 3 years ago | (#37594068)

If you want to pay for that go ahead, although most companies are more than happy to use their already overworked and underpaid staff, possibly add in a few contractors, and have (mostly) working software slightly after the due date (which nobody believed in the first place) that meets the business needs for 1/10th or less of the cost. Also, I don't know where you have been working, but IT is far from the only department running poorly in most companies I have seen. TL;DR version: most companies are not flying in space.

Re:and salvation is in da cloud (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37595314)

Sure give me $35 million a year, 250 programmers, and one program to write and I may be able to make it bug free also.

Re:and salvation is in da cloud (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37596290)

Cheap, good, on time. NASA doesn't even *aim* for the first one. As for "on time" - I'm not even going to go there.

user: You gave me a bad password!!! (5, Funny)

balbord (447248) | about 3 years ago | (#37591284)

me: Bad password? I don't give away bad passwords. Not unintentionally, that is. What password are you using?
user:I'm using the password you sent me! is: generic2011
me: what? Are you sure? It starts with an 'i' and an 's' and it has a ':'?
user: yeah.
me: So when I wrote down "Your password is: generic2011" you decided that "is: " was part of the password?
user: Well, Isn't it?

Re:user: You gave me a bad password!!! (0)

hel1xx (2468044) | about 3 years ago | (#37591822)

That is when I reset passwords to dumb@$$

Re:user: You gave me a bad password!!! (1)

Opportunist (166417) | about 3 years ago | (#37596316)

I usually set it to "$nameisadork". When I started doing that, I had a LOT fewer people forgetting their passwords, oddly.

Re:user: You gave me a bad password!!! (1)

tokul (682258) | about 3 years ago | (#37592544)

Next time use better language structure. Don't confuse quotes with colon and tell user that password is without quotes.

Re:user: You gave me a bad password!!! (1)

gknoy (899301) | about 3 years ago | (#37592912)

Better yet, color code it.

"Your password is the text in red: MyDogLovesPeas42"

(Obviously, then you'd get calls about "how do I enter my password in red", but at least they'd have the right characters.... ?)

Re:user: You gave me a bad password!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37593194)

I tried "the text in red: " but it didn't work.

Good to hear about your dog, though.

Re:user: You gave me a bad password!!! (1)

somersault (912633) | about 3 years ago | (#37592616)

This is why I often write passwords on completely separate lines. Even so: if I put a period at the end, people still don't realize it's part of the password..

Re:user: You gave me a bad password!!! (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37592784)

I type down the password for them, and tell them to change it right away. However, the first letter I write with invisible ink! And can you imagine, nobody can see it!!

Re:user: You gave me a bad password!!! (1)

Eol1 (208982) | about 3 years ago | (#37595038)

I have to agree especially as you get some complex password rules now days and some folk think you are cleverly using punctuation to meet that complexity. Usually I say something like:

Your password is "generic2011" all lower case. It starts with a "g" and ends with "1". Do not include the quotation marks.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37591296)

Every IT shop needs a sign with this written on it.

Re:Abandon all hope, ye who enter here (2)

schwit1 (797399) | about 3 years ago | (#37591604)

Right next to "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on our part."

Re:Abandon all hope, ye who enter here (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37595756)

Right next to "Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on our part."

My first ever anon comment. I wish that the opposite were not true.

Re:Abandon all hope, ye who enter here (1)

chooks (71012) | about 3 years ago | (#37595374)

Usually it is "Abandon all *scope*...." and thus starts the deathmarch.

10+ Circles (4, Insightful)

FatherOfONe (515801) | about 3 years ago | (#37591348)

The 10th Circle of Hell is when upper management believes that outsourcing everything will save them money and time.

The 11th circle of Hell is when someone in a high place reads a magazine and decides that the entire company needs to head off in some "new" direction.

The 12th circle of Hell is partnering with Microsoft.

The 13th circle of Hell is partnering with Microsoft.

The 14 circle of Hell is replacing the guy who partnered with Microsoft.

Re:10+ Circles (1)

Belial6 (794905) | about 3 years ago | (#37591380)

That is EXACTLY were we are right now.

Re:10+ Circles (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37593384)

Workin' for Nokia? ;)

Re:10+ Circles (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37595108)

IS, WERE and ARE in the same sentence sounds a little too much, doesn't it?

Re:10+ Circles (1)

PPH (736903) | about 3 years ago | (#37591548)

10a. The circle where a few managers have gotten to the vendors first, entered into financial arrangements with them and now have a vested interest in seeing that vendor's solution selected.
People you meet there: The manager with the photo of him(her)self on his office wall shaking hands with the vendor's rep. The product is sitting prominently on the table in front of them. Next to that photo is one of the boss' new 42 foot fishing boat.
How to escape: Leave the company. Such a blatant disregard for conflict of interest violations cannot exist if they were not silently condoned from on high. There may be a chance for reform if the boss keeps the yacht picture hidden and only pulls it out when you question why we are still buying garbage from the vendor in question.

Not just an IT phenomenon. Does IT Hell share territory with avionics engineering/manufacturing?

Re:10+ Circles (1)

wierd_w (1375923) | about 3 years ago | (#37593022)

To an extent. There are many propagandist newsrags circularing in the manufacturing industry aimed at management level readership, and many CAD/CAM packages that are total garbage promote themselves quite heavily therein.

If your manager has been brainwashed by a well trained industry evangeist, there can be simillarly nasty circumstances for everyone involved excepting said evangelist.

Good companies ask their engineers what does and does not work for them, and buy accordingly, but good companies are becoming scarce in all vocational fields lately.

Most businesses seem engaged in what I derisively call "facebook economics", which revolves around the "do we chet 'em, and how?" Philosophy of maket capitalism, in which managers destroy companies, bail out in golden parachutes, and move on to greener pastures seeking ever more short term personal gains.

Re:10+ Circles (1)

Capt.DrumkenBum (1173011) | about 3 years ago | (#37591568)

The 15th circle of Hell is partnering with Oracle.

The 16th circle of Hell is partnering with Accenture.

Re:10+ Circles (1)

Shotgun (30919) | about 3 years ago | (#37591756)

11 isn't really hell until that magazine article is actually an advertisement 8*(

Re:10+ Circles (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37592878)

In IT, most magazine articles (and even a lot of books) are thinly veiled advertisements. And if it wasn't, chances are the higher up will misunderstand it or take it out of the context where it applies.

Re:10+ Circles (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37594030)

Where do SAP and Oracle fit into that mix?

The Tenth Circle Of IT Hell (2)

OzPeter (195038) | about 3 years ago | (#37591376)

The Tenth Circle of IT Hell: Reading infoworld articles.

Description An abomination of words that seem profound from a distance, but on closer inspection aren't

The People you meet there Innocent people sucked into the morass of a less than worthy /. story

Re:The Tenth Circle Of IT Hell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37591672)

and your contribution here is an obvious-but-you-thought-clever way of throwing the mud you wallow in at anyone passing by

well you smell bad and nobody is going to stop to talk to you and your tantrums

now go wash up and get a job

Re:The Tenth Circle Of IT Hell (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37593650)

Lately, (well, the last years anyway) that could be the description of Slashdot itself too. ;)

Currently in Circle 3 (1)

SeeSp0tRun (1270464) | about 3 years ago | (#37591414)

Regretting saying "yeah, we can make that happen" every day since.

Re:Currently in Circle 3 (1)

ananamouse (943446) | about 3 years ago | (#37591512)

I have found that the best way to respond when someone suggests 'we' need to do something is, "Sure, go ahead. Knock yer-self out!" Keep telling them, "Sure, go ahead. Knock yer-self out!" ten times, a hundred times, a thousand times if necessary. Eventually they will come out of denial and realize you are not thier thrall. Really, it works.

Re:Currently in Circle 3 (1)

mcl630 (1839996) | about 3 years ago | (#37591566)

Same here... I've been working on a project for quite some time. I thought I was done other than some cleanup and improving performance. I met with management last week to show them the program and do some testing, and wound up with a whole laundry list of additional features to implement. I have a month to do 2-3 months worth of work (not to mention I have other projects I'm dealing with).

Re:Currently in Circle 3 (1)

hazah (807503) | about 3 years ago | (#37591658)

I dunno about your personal situation, but based on my experience, if you can come clean now and say, "that's not what we talked about" in some way, then by all means do that. Otherwise, you're probably in a world of hurt right now. Sorry.

Re:Currently in Circle 3 (1)

gknoy (899301) | about 3 years ago | (#37592922)

Even better, document a time estimate for each major feature, and ask them to prioritize them.

Hahahaha good luck (1, Interesting)

unity100 (970058) | about 3 years ago | (#37591426)

"We need to balance our capitalistic nature with some form of societal responsibility."

with the above .... in a system in which only the most ruthless ones can survive and undo others, you cannot talk about social responsibility. at the point you become socially responsible, the shareholders, who have no obligation to morality, will pull their money from your company and invest it in socially irresponsible ones to make money.

this is the fault of capitalism. it cannot be fixed without totally changing capitalism to something that is not capitalism anymore.

Re:Hahahaha good luck (0)

sourcerror (1718066) | about 3 years ago | (#37592594)

Or just put tax on socially irresponsible things.
Every optimization problem has a fitness value, that you must maximize. In capitalism we call it money. We have to create the constraints where maximizing money leads to socially desirable things. Otherwise we will just reinvent the centrally planned economy that was practiced in the Soviet Union.

Re:Hahahaha good luck (0)

unity100 (970058) | about 3 years ago | (#37592796)

Or just put tax on socially irresponsible things.

cant. the socially irresponsible ones will gain more wealth which they will use in undoing any kind of limitation you attempt on them.

Otherwise we will just reinvent the centrally planned economy that was practiced in the Soviet Union..

there was nothing wrong with that centrally planned economy apart from entirety of it being arranged and planned not for well being of its citizens, but for militarization. and its hard to blame them for that - the moment revolution happened, 'leader of the free world', 'democratic' great britain landed in russia, leading 18 nations in an attempt to reinstitute the monarchy. they failed, and this time resorted to funding civil war. they failed, but succeeded in effecting paranoid-schizophrenic militarist factions taking power in soviet union. a natural result of continual attacks.

it didnt get any better during 1930s-40s, with psychopath nazis attempting to destroy what they see as a threat again. and it didnt get any better after thw war either - this time there was an alliance of 'free nations' which blockaded the entire soviet bloc with increasingly destructive weapons. not surprisingly, in socialist enternational of 1960, soviet union declared that they were going to dedicate themselves to surpassing entire west militarily and in space race, in order to not be left behind.

so you see, that planned economy didnt have even a decade of chance to be geared for, and work for the benefit and enjoyment of ordinary citizens. it always had to work for military purposes, and its sole purpose was what the 'free' 'democratic' nations of the west had done to budding revolution circa 1917 and on.

to see what happens when bloodthirsty countries do not land on your shores or meddle in your affairs, you can look at social democracies of scandinavian countries.

Re:Hahahaha good luck (1)

Nail (1195) | about 3 years ago | (#37593982)

It's too bad people today have conflicting and insane ideas of what constitutes "socially irresponsible".

And is it really the fault of everyone else that a planned economy in the Soviet Union didn't take off like a jet plane and so enjoy the grand successes of all the other planned economies of the world? No and hehe.

Maybe it was just removing the decision making process, and the personal freedom required, far away from those that would directly benefit from making "good" decisions. Maybe.

Re:Hahahaha good luck (0)

unity100 (970058) | about 3 years ago | (#37594070)

And is it really the fault of everyone else that a planned economy in the Soviet Union didn't take off like a jet plane and so enjoy the grand successes of all the other planned economies of the world?

actually it is. our ancestors, with their support of what their governments were doing, had provided the grounds for the huge invasion of the budding revolution, and subsequent militarization of the world - to zero benefit for you and me.

there is nothing wrong with collective decision making. in capitalist system, actually, the collective is let with the decision making - the 'market'. so nothing is too different. however, with capitalism, there is the opportunity for a minority to control majority with majority being able to claim no legal right on what is happening - due to the concept of ownership. in a planned economy, at least citizens would have the inalienable legal right.

Re:Hahahaha good luck (1)

hjf (703092) | about 3 years ago | (#37592650)

So, are you the 99% or not?

Re:Hahahaha good luck (1)

unity100 (970058) | about 3 years ago | (#37592818)

WE are, sir ... we are.

Re:Hahahaha good luck (1)

bursch-X (458146) | about 3 years ago | (#37596026)

Capitalistic nature? I didn't known that capitalism was part of our genes. I think we were merely brainwashed into it by society.

And by the way there's this strange place called Europe. Maybe you heard of it. In many of its countries they are acutally practising a cult called "social market economy". Market driven economies and capitalism exclude social responsibility only if you are an asshole, as a matter of fact.

A missing circle... (2)

NecroPuppy (222648) | about 3 years ago | (#37591430)

And that's "Accreditation hell". Where policy prevents you from fielding systems that aren't certified to certain levels of robustness / security, but management hasn't (or won't) budget the time or money to actually secure a system.

"Just stand it up now", they say. "We'll put the security money in next year's budget."

Of course, it doesn't show up in next year's budget, and pretty soon, you're the next Sony (in the getting hacked repeatedly sense).

It's "magic". (1)

khasim (1285) | about 3 years ago | (#37591572)

Tech's understand technology.

Other people understand "magic".
You say the right mystic words and make the right arcane gestures and the things that tech said could not be done get done.

"Just stand it up now", they say. "We'll put the security money in next year's budget."

That's powerful magic. It gets things done NOW.

Other spells are:
"I think you're over-analyzing this."
"There won't be any problems."
and
"My nephew says he can do it this weekend." This is a particularly dangerous spell because it releases destructive imps into the systems.

Re:A missing circle... (1)

Martin Blank (154261) | about 3 years ago | (#37593196)

Accreditation Hell has another room wherein you have managers who push for a technology because it has attained Common Criteria EAL5 certification and even budget for it, but then refuse to allow it to be configured even remotely close to it.

How to write one of these articles (3, Insightful)

jjohnson (62583) | about 3 years ago | (#37591432)

Have a chatty phone conversation or a drinking lunch with a consultant who's between gigs. Let him tell war stories. Organize according to some metaphor drawn from a widely known but poorly understood work of literature. Beat deadline, knock off early.

Re:How to write one of these articles (1)

nharmon (97591) | about 3 years ago | (#37591518)

Seriously. The most awful part of this article were the solutions. For example, the solution to the problem of different vendors blaming each other (aka: limbo?) is...

"When you're digging a hole in hell, the first thing to do is stop digging and climb your way out," says Roth. That means making sure you have the tech expertise in house to solve your own problems, going with open source to avoid vendor lock-in, and taking the time to refactor your code so you can be more efficient the next time around.

...to not have the problem in the first place? How utterly useless is it to advise someone that the solution to a problem is to not have the problem in the first place. Gee, thanks brother, I never thought of that.

Instead, the real solution to this is to get out of the middle of the two vendors and insist they work together to fix the problem. Even if that means you have pay them extra for their help (though you can usually hint to this being kept in mind when the contact comes up for renewal, and they will back off on the charging extra). Does this always work? Not always. Sometimes you need to get the big guns involved (read: lawyers). But 99 times out of a 100 you will get to a solution before needing that.

Re:How to write one of these articles (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37593092)

Actually, if you read the right mailing lists, you'll get to see precisely how they write them, and it ain't chatty phone conversations: the journalists post requests on mailing lists for the particular kind of professional they're after quotes from. They get four or five replies, edit them into an article, and submit. Advantage over actual conversation: you can't copy and paste a conversation.

Layer Model (1)

Nom du Keyboard (633989) | about 3 years ago | (#37591456)

At least he's using the Layer Model, even if they are circles.

circle 10 plces where they hire by degrees only (2)

Joe_Dragon (2206452) | about 3 years ago | (#37591458)

and it even worse when management is hired on Business degrees / MBA's they may know a lot about management but not much on IT but they are running the it department.

Also when they take people from top tear school where CS is far from the job that needed and far from what you pick up at a tech school and where people who have done IT work for years are looked down on as they did not go to a top tear school but when to a tech school.

Re:circle 10 plces where they hire by degrees only (1)

DigiShaman (671371) | about 3 years ago | (#37594142)

Fortune 500s tend to only hire employees with degrees because it puffs up the credibility of an organization as a whole. Also there's that whole attitude of alumnis pulling for fellow recent graduates as well. You can thank the HR culture for that one really.

I wouldn't worry too much about it though. Most of corporate America is SMB. Those will hire based on experience over degrees based on what I've seen. Unfortunately you don't get the cushy job perks and title that do go with a fortune 500 company. Consider it payback for that massive tuition debt you're now having to pay off.

Re:circle 10 plces where they hire by degrees only (1)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37594422)

Perhaps the people with degrees can write coherent sentences.

Kudos (2)

Talderas (1212466) | about 3 years ago | (#37591502)

Kudos to the guy that wrote the summary. He gave us an infoworld link that wasn't dumb by giving us the printer version.

Re:Kudos (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37592994)

My thoughts exactly.

Re:Kudos (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37595010)

...thereby avoiding the first circle of Slashdot hell.

Seriously - why don't the Slashdot "editors" do that every time?

G+ (2)

vlm (69642) | about 3 years ago | (#37591516)

tour of the nine circles of IT hell

I thought this was some kind of "Google+ in the Enterprise" story for a few seconds.

In my experience, a G+ circle of hell is where some dude in the "Ham Radio" circle insists on a fox news headline post every thirty minutes, or religious crusader clutters up my "Linux" circle with daily bible quotes. Ugh.

Re:G+ (1)

grasshoppa (657393) | about 3 years ago | (#37591576)

Funny you should mention that, as enterprises will typically have Google Apps, and us Apps folks can't have Google+.

Re:G+ (1)

Overzeetop (214511) | about 3 years ago | (#37592284)

Which is amazingly annoying because those of us who just want Google to keep up the spam filters and ward off being blacklisted have Apps accounts for our personal domains. Google is so finicky about switching stuff later that I'm afraid to use/make an alternate vanilla gmail account and then find out in a year that I can't migrate it back to my "real" email when they activate Apps accounts on G+.

Re:G+ (1)

bill_mcgonigle (4333) | about 3 years ago | (#37593652)

You can't just copy the mail over with IMAP?

I don't think Google has squared away its policy of zero-tolerance account deletion for things that it doesn't like (e.g. false accusations of child porn) and your paying for their service. I've stopped using Google+ because I don't want all my Android contacts and my saved maps to disappear one day. Since there's no customer service, I don't feel the risk is warranted.

Re:G+ (1)

ibennetch (521581) | about 3 years ago | (#37594054)

This. It's exactly why I (a long-time gmail and general fan of their applications) haven't started using Google+ -- and have no intention of starting with it any time soon.

I've got paid Apps clients with them, I've used their mobile syncing, and plenty more...it's just too big a risk. And a shame they don't realize that's scaring you, me, and plenty of others. Or maybe they do, but don't care.

Thanks for putting it so well.

Lvl 7 Escape- Unrealistic in this world at present (1, Insightful)

RanceJustice (2028040) | about 3 years ago | (#37592016)

I think the Level 7 Escape comment says enough to either prove complete naivete or complete ignorance:

How to escape: Exiting the circle of company-on-company violence may only be possible via collective action, says O'Berry. "When you squeeze the ecosystem only to your advantage, not caring about the companies you've killed along the way, eventually people will say enough is enough," says O'Berry. "We need to balance our capitalistic nature with some form of societal responsibility."

In the last thirty years the only people saying "enough is enough" have have been everything from summarily ignored to blackballed for being an "Evil socialist who hates capitalism, job creators, and prosperity and wants to punish all the John Galts of the world who are smart enough to be granted their Austrian-school due; If they can't keep up with the invisible hand, then they should be content for the perfect theory of 'Trickle Down Economics' to provide for them".

The world is facing the global recession it is because these monstrosities have taken every opportunity to exploit more and more while convincing more than half the working poor that any regulations will keep them from being able to be rich "on their own merits" too, one day. Country-wide prosperity is at its highest (as it its HDI) when the political system shifts towards a parliamentary democracy and the economic system is mixed strongly dominated by modern socialist principles.

Unfortunately it seems that the high standards of living these systems evolve will undoubtedly create some myopic, avaricious individuals that have the intellect, skills, and stability (who conveniently forget that society directly and indirectly helped them attain these attributes) to work towards taking as much as they can, no matter how much damage it does to everyone else. To date, most modern developed nations are not fault tolerant against greed and it will take massive changes to implement systems that are, but it is of paramount importance that we do so immediately to stave off calamity.

There is a much larger percentage of the educated populace who feel that enough is never enough and their sophomoric narcissism ensures they feel entitled to make decisions that have immediate and direct negative consequences to their subordinates, the business, or the world at large, so long as it leads to their short term financial gain. The sooner we can, from the ground up, build our systems of business and governance to limit the amount of damage greed can do, the better.

Metaphor Error (1)

glassware (195317) | about 3 years ago | (#37592132)

This guy got caught up in his metaphor and the article doesn't impart much useful information. There's probably a few nuggets of worthwhile advice there about documenting or specifications or vendor lock in. Next time, focus on the IT part and less on the "Dante's Inferno" part.

Corporate Software Lock-ins (2)

Cutting_Crew (708624) | about 3 years ago | (#37592206)

As a developer myself, i have found that the larger the corporation is, the larger the lock-in is. I am not sure whether a bigger corporation seems to feel that everything has to be the same across the board in all its departments or what. I have mentioned this in another post and i will mention it here. There is NO REASON...NONE..NADA for companies to still produce products in MFC(espeically since MS dumped it LONG ago). If a company has a vision to move on to something like QT or at least WPF then fine but when you see job ads for new software products and needing people familiar with MFC(that isnt related to specific porting to another environment) it really makes my skin crawl and it is really holding the developers there hostage.

On more general company lock-ins i wonder how much money a large company would save if all (lets say 70,000) employees including the CEO were using openoffice versus buying a license for every single microsoft office suite. That to me in INSANE.

Re:Corporate Software Lock-ins (1)

Altrag (195300) | about 3 years ago | (#37593628)

At that point its not vendor lock-in, its manager lock-in. Someone in your company has decided "if it works, its good enough" and doesn't want to fork out the $$$ for Qt/VS licenses plus all of the time taken to re-write their entire software base. Especially if its in-house software and they don't have to worry about first impressions when trying to sell it to someone else.

Cobol programmers aren't even out of a job yet, and it was old news before MFC was a glint in MS's collective eye.

Switching from MSOffice to OOo is a bit of a different ballgame however. OOo is good enough at reading MSOffice documents that vendor lock-in isn't really the problem. Customer lock-in is more the issue. OOo can read and write MS documents well enough for internal usage, but if you send a customer (or worse, a prospective customer) a document that has formatting errors, you're going to receive a bad impression. Even using older versions of MSO has that trouble, so its to the level of version lock-in!

And that leaves you with either taking the easy way out and just upgrading your Office suite to the new version, or going through the hassle of retraining all of your employees, setting up a specific "document formatting" department to clean up every single thing that goes out to customers/media/etc and somehow preventing all employees from skirting that department and just firing off a quick email.

Its a mess. The only real way to clean that one up is for OOo to be able to format-match MSO 100% (at least in the most used things. Last time I tried -- less than a year ago -- OOo still had problems with basic things like tables, margins, columns, etc.. they'd be just a little bit off. Not enough to prevent the document from being read, but enough to make it look ugly as sin and not something I'd want a customer to see.

Well either that, or having the entire corporate world agree to drop the veil of perfection that we all seem to require from each other when it comes to business transactions. Its not like anyone really believes perfection is possible.. yet we rarely take the possibility of failure into account and we all get pissed off when bugs happen (even and sometimes especially simple aesthetic bugs that don't really matter!)

What circle is it... (2)

medcalf (68293) | about 3 years ago | (#37592564)

when the customer hires consultants so that they (the customer) can have someone to blame when things go wrong, and then spends all of their time ensuring that blame is affixed for anything and everything (including "doing exactly as directed after warning of this specific consequence") rather than spending any time trying to make things better?

Re:What circle is it... (1)

Caerdwyn (829058) | about 3 years ago | (#37593426)

Fifth circle. Bureaucracy, deflection of responsibility. Alternatively, eighth circle sixth bolgia (hypocrites)

Print version zOMG (1)

jcoleman (139158) | about 3 years ago | (#37592768)

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for linking to the "printer friendly" version as opposed to the "50 words at a time so we maximize our page views" version!

I, the Demon (0)

Anonymous Coward | about 3 years ago | (#37593084)

Alas, as I read through the 9, I couldn't avoid the glaring truth. It was happening all around me. Software upgrades...New iphone, iPad! ...Dual Hex-core 1U w/ 48G Ram.... OK, that one we needed!

Fiscal Year was at an end and I kept asking why. Why must we spend this money? WHY? We didn't need the latest Acrobat, which we just upgraded 7 months ago. We only have 5 people using it anyways but the lic. is for 10! WTF...?

And as I slowly combed over realization after realization, every monetary nit-pick that was glaringly obvious, it hit might like the PLAGUE! The cold seeped into every fiber of my body. It was numbing. My soul was being drained in a matter of seconds. The painful realization that you are no longer a mere IT sophisticant was in tow. A denizen of the shell... When asked which OS? Why all 3 of course! And that's when it hit me. I was no longer a wrangler of the bit. I was no longer 'The Fixer'! Complete strangers new me by my tech. prowess. But it was all fading. My world was crashing around me. It was so obvious!

I was THINKING LIKE MANAGEMENT!!!!!!!

Eighth circle, second bolgia (1)

Caerdwyn (829058) | about 3 years ago | (#37593264)

Eighth circle, second bolgia for operating system fanboys, phone/computer platform fanboys, operating system haters, and phone/computer platform haters. Regardless of which platform and operating system the fanboys and haters hold forth upon, it's all lies and shit.

Double depth for falsely accusing anyone who disagrees with you of being a fanboy. Though there's certainly applicability of the sixth, eighth, ninth (especially forum trolls) and tenth.

9 circles in on project (1)

konmpar (1822540) | about 3 years ago | (#37593970)

genious!! :D

i recently had a project going that i can surely say that i meat ALL of these circles... one by one..
how to escape?? is the project delivered?? abandon the project... :D
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