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Airline Offering Plane Crash Survival Course to Frequent Flyers

samzenpus posted more than 2 years ago | from the survivor-class-seating dept.

Transportation 155

British Airways is giving their best customers a competitive edge in the event of disaster by offering a course on surviving a plane crash. Beginning next year, members of the airline's Executive Club can cash in air miles to take the four-hour safety class. From the article: "Andy Clubb, the BA manager running the course, told the Independent: 'It makes passengers safer when travelling by giving additional skills and information, it dispels all those Internet theories about the brace position, and it just gives people so much more confidence in flying.'"

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155 comments

how long before plane crash is the next airline fe (2)

Joe_Dragon (2206452) | more than 2 years ago | (#37601780)

how long before plane crash is the next airline fee?

Re:how long before plane crash is the next airline (1)

poofmeisterp (650750) | more than 2 years ago | (#37601964)

how long before plane crash is the next airline fee?

Oh, come on. That was too easy.

Re:how long before plane crash is the next airline (1)

ackthpt (218170) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602100)

how long before plane crash is the next airline fee?

The slide will be. Cheapskates have to stay in the plane.

Re:how long before plane crash is the next airline (1)

optimism (2183618) | more than 2 years ago | (#37604432)

...if you choose to purchase exit-slide priveleges, exact change is greatly appreciated, thank you...

Re:how long before plane crash is the next airline (2)

justsayin (2246634) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602554)

I got mod points but cant resist.
The airlines could start charging you for the little drop down oxygen masks. You know in the event you need it you got to pay. You could charge 5 bucks at the counter and a million dollars on the way down.

Re:how long before plane crash is the next airline (2)

Haeleth (414428) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602808)

This is British Airways we're talking about, not Southwest or Ryanair. BA does not charge hidden fees for everything. In-flight food and drink, a reasonable number of checked bags, etc. are all provided at no extra cost.

(The downside is that BA tickets are more expensive up-front. You pays your money and you takes your choice: put up with sleazy nickel-and-diming scumbags, or pay a premium to receive premium service?)

Re:how long before plane crash is the next airline (4, Funny)

JonySuede (1908576) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603478)

in Canada we have the choice to pay a premium for the sleazy nickel-and-diming and not paying a premium and getting the twice the nickel-and-diming.

Re:how long before plane crash is the next airline (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37603658)

Southwest is probably one of the most reasonable, they provide basic service and you can't pay them for much more.

Ryanair is great. If you read the rules and abide by them you get a great cheap flight. Cost for rule breaking starts at 40 Euros (eg failure to print your boarding passing).

There's nothing hidden, just be clear that anything they didn't say they will provide, they WILL charge you for. Luggage tags are 2 Euros.

Lemme check.... (2)

Baloroth (2370816) | more than 2 years ago | (#37601818)

No, it's not April 1st... no, the news story isn't from the Onion... oh, "cash in air miles", makes sense now.

Re:Lemme check.... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37604552)

You vill thiese unwise worts regrett, when der bear ist your hunger self in der mountain chasing.

Scam Alert! (2)

BigBuckHunter (722855) | more than 2 years ago | (#37601860)

I'm sorry, but after reading the article, it appears that they will be charging money for information that should be, and probably already is, available to the general public.

I call shenanigans!

Re:Scam Alert! (2)

MozeeToby (1163751) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602008)

Nah, they're charging to go down the escape slides.

Re:Scam Alert! (1)

metlin (258108) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602014)

Well, as a frequent flyer, your odds against are unfavorably stacked against you.

As someone who flies a few hundred thousand miles on two different airlines every year, I would absolutely sign up for one of these courses. In the past several years as a frequent-flyer, I've been through several "oh-shit" moments. More so when you fly international in some parts of Eastern Europe (although domestic air travel in the US is just as bad as traveling in some of the less developed parts of the world -- some of those ERJs are scary, and very poorly maintained).

Re:Scam Alert! (2)

hedwards (940851) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603154)

It's still an extremely remote possibility. I don't know what the accident rates are for airlines outside the US, but in the US they had a fatality approximately every 5 billion miles travelled. And that includes 9/11 and several other crashes in which there were no survivors.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26743609/#.TotgeEDSiaQ [msn.com]

In other words, it's marginally more likely that you'll pull through during one of the less severe crashes, but it's unlikely that you're going to get anything out of the training.

Re:Scam Alert! (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37603402)

Landing and take-off are much more dangerous than just flying. What matters if you want to determine risk is the crash per landings and take-offs ratio.

Re:Scam Alert! (1)

Scannerman (1136265) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603884)

Agree totally, I'd sign up for it, practising anything helps, I fly a lot and if I get the chance I'll go for this, obviously I will try and guilt my employer into paying for it!

Re:Scam Alert! (1)

ShavedOrangutan (1930630) | more than 2 years ago | (#37604040)

In a 500mph nose dive, I don't think any kind of knowledge is going to save you.

The only knowledge that would seem useful, from the crash test videos I've seen, is to climb over the top of the seats to get to the exit in a fire. And I doubt they're going to tell you that in a class.

A What Alert? (4, Insightful)

Daetrin (576516) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602018)

That makes it different from any other class how? There isn't a reputable school in the world (at least not a technical/practical one) that depends on some kind of "secret knowledge" in their classes. Everything is available one way or another to anyone who wants to find it.

The purpose of classes is to organize that material and teach it to you in an efficient way via a guide who can answer common questions in an immediate and interactive way. Some people do find it easier to go out and dig up the information and teach themselves, but a lot of people benefit from a classroom type scenario where they receive instruction from someone knowledgeable in the area.

Honestly i'd be much more wary of them if they promised that they had secrets to surviving a plane crash that weren't available to anyone else.

Re:A What Alert? (1)

poofmeisterp (650750) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602094)

That makes it different from any other class how? There isn't a reputable school in the world (at least not a technical/practical one) that depends on some kind of "secret knowledge" in their classes. Everything is available one way or another to anyone who wants to find it.

It sounds like this class is basically a new beverage or 'pillow' - for sale! When income is down, try to drum it up.

Re:Scam Alert! (2)

davester666 (731373) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602090)

Sorry to burst your bubble, but this has only been happening, well, since forever. Pretty much everything in your local newspaper is info available to the general public, only they make you pay for it.

Now I would want to see any studies done as to the actual effectiveness of any of these so-called safety positions [it doesn't actually matter for me, as being 6'5", being in that bent over position is impossible for me anywhere but in first-class]. Has it been shown that it actually has helped in real accidents, or it is just a way to try to get people to sit still and out of the way?

I would guess just staying relatively calm and being belted in probably has the greatest impact on your surviving a crash...

Drunk or Asleep.. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37602650)

You forgot to include being drunk and/or asleep. It has been shown in car crashes that a person who is drunk usually is injured less in a crash and usually survives (I am not advocating drunk driving, all drunk drivers should be put in jail for at least a year). It has to do with being completely relaxed. I'm thinking that you would see the same affect if you were asleep. Then again, if you were asleep and survived the crash, you are more likely to escape the plane before any number of bad things happen, such as sinking or burning, than if you were drunk.

Re:Scam Alert! (2)

Miamicanes (730264) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602762)

The main risk to sitting upright is aortic dissection. Apparently, when the body comes to a rapid stop in a forward-facing upright seated position, your internal organs can shift forward before coming to a stop and cause the aorta to tear enough to cause you to die from uncontrollable internal bleeding -- possibly minutes or hours AFTER you've gotten off the plane and are busy celebrating your survival.

Re:Scam Alert! (1)

VAElynx (2001046) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603764)

Um... if your aorta tears, it won't take hours for you to die.. minutes, more likely. Also, lower blood pressure from blood leaking into cavities means likely loss of consciousness.

Re:Scam Alert! (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 2 years ago | (#37604026)

The main risk to sitting upright is aortic dissection. Apparently, when the body comes to a rapid stop in a forward-facing upright seated position, your internal organs can shift forward before coming to a stop and cause the aorta to tear enough to cause you to die from uncontrollable internal bleeding -- possibly minutes or hours AFTER you've gotten off the plane and are busy celebrating your survival.

So, you bend forward, the plane decelerates and then YOUR HEAD ASPLODE!

Happy now?

Re:Scam Alert! (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37603148)

When someone 6'5" is behind me in coach, I need a helmet so that when we crash their nose doesn't bounce too hard off of the top of my head.

Re:Scam Alert! (2)

GameboyRMH (1153867) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602196)

Furthermore anyone who thinks that passengers have much say in surviving an airplane crash deserves to be scammed by this. If the plane hits the ground at a steep angle or at a speed significantly higher than the recommended landing speed, you're dead, end of story.

In the unlikely event that the plane comes to a stop in one piece then there are things you can do to improve your chances of survival, which you can read about for free. About half the tips that could help you are in that little safety booklet you're supposed to read.

Re:Scam Alert! (1)

gknoy (899301) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603456)

Where does one go to read about these for free? Everyone's said "blah blah I can find it for free", but no one's (that I've seen so far) linked a coherent set of info explaining what's safe and what isn't, etc.

Re:Scam Alert! (1)

SEWilco (27983) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602234)

I'm sorry, but after reading the article, it appears that they will be charging money for information that should be, and probably already is, available to the general public.

The information about how to survive a crash might be available to the public, but what else does the airline know that affected their decision to offer this? I suppose I better add :-)

I'd do it (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37601892)

Just for this: "concludes with a simulated emergency evacuation down the escape slides. "

This is Filed Under "Technology" (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37601928)

I was expecting involvement from James Gosling [nighthacks.com] somehow...

A course for the rest of us. (1)

Tsingi (870990) | more than 2 years ago | (#37601968)

For you non frequent fliers, hey, I'll do it for free! ...

Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.

(It's the same course, but you don't get to slide down the chute.)

Re:A course for the rest of us. (2)

ryanov (193048) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602070)

It's with that attitude that lead people to ignore safety rules on the aircraft (wear your seatbelt while seated, put your seatbacks forward, etc.). "It may just save someone's life, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be told to raise my seat for landing!"

Re:A course for the rest of us. (1)

poofmeisterp (650750) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602110)

For you non frequent fliers, hey, I'll do it for free! ...

Put your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye.

(It's the same course, but you don't get to slide down the chute.)

LOL no sh!#.

If you made it to the ground or water from a crashing plane, I think you can stand to have a nail broken or a muscle pulled by not using an escape chute.

Paying money for propaganda. (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37601974)

Wow, British Airways is charging money for an advertising campaign? Cash in some of your miles and we'll help you feel better about all the flying you already do.

Related survival courses also available: (5, Funny)

inviolet (797804) | more than 2 years ago | (#37601976)

Along these same lines, several additional survival courses are available:

  • Direct Meteor Strike Survival Course, offering tips on how to survive a massive meteorite landing on your city,
  • Ground Zero Nuclear Blast Survival Course, giving pointers and expert advice on surviving the nova-like heat and shock waves of a direct nuclear bomb hit, and
  • 16-Ton Weight Falls On Your Head Survival Course, dispelling the myths and misconceptions that are common among people raised on Saturday morning cartoons.

Sign up now, spaces are limited!

Re:Related survival courses also available: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37602646)

If they did a zombie survival class they would get a lot more people.

Re:Related survival courses also available: (1)

siddesu (698447) | more than 2 years ago | (#37604602)

And if they target Wall st. executives with it, they may even get paying customer or two.

Re:Related survival courses also available: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37603146)

Rapture Survival??

Re:Related survival courses also available: (2)

demonbug (309515) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603336)

  • Ground Zero Nuclear Blast Survival Course, giving pointers and expert advice on surviving the nova-like heat and shock waves of a direct nuclear bomb hit,

Sign up now, spaces are limited!

Refrigerator. Duh, I learned that from a high-quality, well-written documentary recently.

Re:Related survival courses also available: (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37604050)

A lead lined refrigerator, that's the important part

Re:Related survival courses also available: (1)

ColdWetDog (752185) | more than 2 years ago | (#37604070)

Along these same lines, several additional survival courses are available:

  • Direct Meteor Strike Survival Course, offering tips on how to survive a massive meteorite landing on your city,
  • Ground Zero Nuclear Blast Survival Course, giving pointers and expert advice on surviving the nova-like heat and shock waves of a direct nuclear bomb hit, and
  • 16-Ton Weight Falls On Your Head Survival Course, dispelling the myths and misconceptions that are common among people raised on Saturday morning
    cartoons.

Sign up now, spaces are limited!

Or just buy the book [amazon.com] .

It Seems To Me... (2, Insightful)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37602000)

An airline with some common sense would NOT charge customers for the right to be reminded of PLANE CRASHES...

Best advice (1)

jargonburn (1950578) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602042)

Don't be in a plane crash.

Re:Best advice (1)

Creepy (93888) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602510)

I remember seeing a probability of death in a commercial airline crash based on 20 years of airline data (viewed sometime between 1994 and 1996, because I remember where I saw it and who I showed it to) and it was extremely grim - people in the tail have a 99.9% chance of dying and I don't think it got better than about 79% (so 21% survival chance), which was just in front of the wing, and it went up by about 4-6% per row going forward until evening out at almost 100% again (pilots had a slightly better chance of survival than first class passengers, as I recall - by about .1% and the front was 99.7 I believe). So basically, you're right - given that, at best, you have a 1 in 5 chance of surviving a plane crash to begin with and it could be 1 in 1000 or worse (the rounding was to .1%), That doesn't account for survivors with horrific burns and will suffer the rest of their lives. I'd say just don't be in a crash.

Re:Best advice (1)

amRadioHed (463061) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603294)

Are you sure you didn't get that backwards? Your numbers don't pass the smell test, how would being closer to the point of initial impact increase your odds of survival?

Re:Best advice (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37603570)

The hull is reinforced in some places. I won't tell you where though, because if I ever get caught in a crashing plane I will fight for the safest seat and I don't want competition.

Re:Best advice (1)

hubie (108345) | more than 2 years ago | (#37604220)

I figured I'd do the Bill Cosby method: Wait just before the plane hits the ground then jump upwards.

Plane crash survival spoiler (1)

Dunbal (464142) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602064)

Try real hard to make yourself incombustible when you are doused in jet fuel and everything around you ignites. Most crash survivors are killed by burns and smoke inhalation. But nice try, BA.

irony... (1)

NikeHerc (694644) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602074)

/.-generated comment at the bottom of this page: "Hempstone's Question: If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class?"

Step 1 (2)

Haedrian (1676506) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602086)

Don't eat the fish.

parachutes (0)

NynexNinja (379583) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602142)

I'd feel more safe if they provided parachutes. It's hard to survive a plane crash when you're traveling towards the ground at thousands of feet per second without a parachute. I think all the stuff they talk about like "using your seat as a floatation device" are all complete nonsense when 90+% of plane flights don't travel over bodies of water. Give me a parachute and a way to jump out of the plane, and at least I know that I'm going to *possibly* survive.

Re:parachutes (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37602372)

Do you really want skittish people to have parachutes? They'd be jumping out of planes everywhere at the first bump.

Do you expect to be able to properly put on and operate a parachute with little to no training and while in the middle of a life threatening disaster?

Personally, I don't want to have to keep an eye on the sky for raining bodies.

Re:parachutes (1)

Volante3192 (953645) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602416)

Ok, a few things.

Parachutes are heavy and weight is already a premium.
Without a hull breach (which, if happened high enough, you're unconscious anyway) you are not going to open the door until pressure equalizes, at which point there's
Most crashes happen around takeoff or landing.
*Crashes that start high enough up to be candidates for parachute jumps are often weather related. (You want to leap into what caused Air France 447 to go down?)

I'm sure people more versed on this have better objections as well. But, honestly, Google is your friend. You are not the first to think of this, so do the stinking research first.

No, parachutes wouldn't help. (4, Insightful)

sirwired (27582) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602544)

First, you aren't spiraling towards the ground at thousands of feet per second. Check your math.

You wouldn't make it out the door of the plane. At a high-altitude, when you'd still have a few minutes to escape, you can't open the door due to the pressure difference. (For obvious reasons, it's completely impossible to open the door at altitude.) Once you get low enough to open the door, the air will be dense enough that the plane will almost certainly be a bit unstable and you'd have a tough time making it to the exit. On the off-chance you went through it (fighting your way through the scrum of all these people wearing ungainly heavy parachutes), the wind forces would probably snap your body in two against the door frame. If you make it out the door, you'll need to avoid the tail.

I'd be shocked, that out of an entire plane, a half-dozen made it to the ground alive.

But none of that matters... why? Because most accidents take place near takeoff, landing, and taxi, which is when parachutes would be utterly useless due to the fact you are going to hit the ground well before anybody but the pilots have time to do anything about it.

If you are going to spend a truly hideous amount of weight on safety measures (parachutes are HEAVY), there are lot better places to put it.

Re:No, parachutes wouldn't help. (1)

PPH (736903) | more than 2 years ago | (#37604276)

Too difficult to locate the bodies. Without parachutes, they are all going to be in or around the crater. With parachutes, they'll be spread for miles around.

Unfortunately... (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37602156)

The safest seats according to research are towards the back of the plane. Given that airlines will give the best seats of the plane / the ones in the front, to their most valued customers who are taking these classes; being able to afford this class dooms you to a lower odd of survival if you take the most coveted privilege of the frequent flyer...

Your free gift... (2)

turbclnt (1776692) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602178)

...a signed Bruce Campbell arm mounted chainsaw for mowing down passengers blocking your way to the emergency exit. Yay! You win!

Does the handbook... (1)

Oswald McWeany (2428506) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602180)

Does the handbook contain recipes on how to cook your fellow survivors if you crash in the Andes and need something to eat.

Re:Does the handbook... (1)

Oswald McWeany (2428506) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602198)

Sorry... I remembered my history wrong... it was those who didn't survive that got eaten. None of the survivors were eaten. WOOT for surviving!

Re:Does the handbook... (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37602322)

I dare say the survivors weren't buried either.

It would be a much more interesting story if those who survived were eaten by those who didn't.

Re:Does the handbook... (1)

poofmeisterp (650750) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602496)

Does the handbook contain recipes on how to cook your fellow survivors if you crash in the Andes and need something to eat.

That answer is in the book for sale in the lobby for a low price of 200 quid.

Maybe some shouldn't take the class (1)

Nkwe (604125) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602210)

FTA:

Research into emergency evacuations by the Civil Aviation Authority in 2006 found that a significant number of passengers struggle with the most basic of tasks such as releasing the seat belt.

In terms of our genetic future, does this class of passenger need to be saved?

Re:Maybe some shouldn't take the class (1)

kannibal_klown (531544) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603090)

FTA:

Research into emergency evacuations by the Civil Aviation Authority in 2006 found that a significant number of passengers struggle with the most basic of tasks such as releasing the seat belt.

In terms of our genetic future, does this class of passenger need to be saved?

Eh, I can see it.

They probably mean "under stress" or "under duress." After a crash or "abrupt" landing, then panics sets in.

Your blood is probably pumping, you're almost OD'ing on adrenaline, and you're pants are probably both wet *and* brown.

I don't find it hard to believe that in a state of that kind of panic, you immediately know to "flip the big panel on your seat belt to release."

Heck, under high enough stress people forget how to do the most basic things. Fear is OK, fear is fine, but panic kills.

Re:Maybe some shouldn't take the class (1)

JTsyo (1338447) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603554)

meh, people are probably just waiting for the captain to turn off the "fasten your seat belt" sign.

Free help (1)

sizzzzlerz (714878) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602336)

Here's a helpful hint. If you crash on a mysterious island in the Pacific, watch out for polar bears.

Re:Free help (1)

poofmeisterp (650750) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602532)

Here's a helpful hint. If you crash on a mysterious island in the Pacific, watch out for polar bears.

Or fruit with cesium-137 in it. Bikini-something. :)

I bet it doesn't (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37602428)

gives people so much more confidence in flying

When somebody tells you how to survive a crash, what do you think about? Crashing. The people who would want to take that course because they think it could be useful are not frequent flyers. Frequent flyers are much more likely to choose their seat for convenience than for safety. Flying is already supposed to be safe, remember?

Re:I bet it doesn't (1)

JTsyo (1338447) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603580)

Think people sign up for the course for the ride down the escape slide, nothing more.

Forget the classes they need to be downgraded (1)

elbonia (2452474) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602592)

I wonder if in the classes they point out that since they are more valued customers their chances of survival go down. Those customers usually get free upgrades to business/first class seats which have the least chance of survival. The cheapest seats, in the tail end, have the highest rate of survival.

http://www.popularmechanics.com/technology/aviation/safety/4219452 [popularmechanics.com]

How to survive a plane crash (1)

Unoriginal_Nickname (1248894) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602610)

How to survive a plane crash:

Step 1: Fly a major, well-established airline.
Step 2: Leave a family wealthy enough to successfully sue the airline in the event of your death.

4 hour class? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37602628)

All you need to is listen to Al:

Put your tray table up
And keep your seat back in the full upright position

Forget women & children, frequent flyers first (1)

PolygamousRanchKid (1290638) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602718)

Since frequent flyers generate lots of revenue for an airline, those are the people they want to save first. To guarantee future revenue flow. Frequent flyers are worth more to the airline, it's as simple as that.

Re:Forget women & children, frequent flyers fi (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37603190)

Frequent flyers are also the most likely to be involved in a plane crash, so it makes sense from the customers perspective as well.

Brace position theories? Evidence that it works? (1)

fantomas (94850) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602722)

I guess the "internet theories on the brace position" boil down to a theory that it kills you faster?

Anybody know any references to evidence that the brace position is the safest to be in? Or references to others reasonable claims for better positions?

(don't bother with responses about parachutes, taking the pilot's seat, going to the first class bar and drinking yourself horizontal, etc...)

cheers!

Re:Brace position theories? Evidence that it works (2)

Volante3192 (953645) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602812)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brace_position [wikipedia.org]

Loaded with 3rd party links as well.
Seriously, has no one heard of Google or Wikipedia around here? This has already been done for you. You simply have to bother to look it up...

Re:Brace position theories? Evidence that it works (1)

gknoy (899301) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603506)

Still, that's the sort of link that would have been courteous and informative to have been included with the initial summary.

Re:Brace position theories? Evidence that it works (1)

JTsyo (1338447) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603600)

But how does that increase my post count or gain me any karma?

Re:Brace position theories? Evidence that it works (1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37603976)

Mythbusters found the brace position to be safer than sitting upright.

fair enough (1)

PopeRatzo (965947) | more than 2 years ago | (#37602800)

I guess the airlines offering crash survival courses is only fair since they've been lobbying so hard to have the solo air traffic controllers work longer hours with fewer breaks. Once they completely break the air traffic controllers union and the union for the Federal Aviation Administration workers, they better also start offering frequent flyers yoga classes so they'll be able to kiss their asses goodbye.

What is it really telling you? (0)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37602870)

Planes are much older,
safety is compromised,
airlines finding ways to reduce miles liability,
cant afford to maintain service.

This is such wrong message!

How about... (-1)

Anonymous Coward | more than 2 years ago | (#37602964)

I don't need training. Give me a parachute and I'll be fine.

turkey roast bags for shield of smoke and fire (2)

k6mfw (1182893) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603426)

Instructor at a physiological flight training course (i.e. "chamber ride") suggests carry one of those large bags for roasting turkeys in the oven, keep it folded inside your jacket pocket. After a rough landing (no, not one that plows in at hundreds mph), pull it over your head and tighten string. Bag should have enough breathing air but it will shield against toxic smoke and much of the heat. In the event of a cabin fire it will mostly be smoke that collapses other passengers, this bag over your head will give you considerable protection for you to quickly egress.

I agree with other comments that parachutes are not useful. Many crashes happen at takeoff and landing (too low for opening). If you bail at high altitude (and will pass out few seconds later at 30K), most likely land in rough terrain (can you survive it?) or in open ocean (will only live for 10 minutes in north atlantic). Probably need ejection seat (not practical for 200+ seats) though you may get an air or leg torn off at punch out. If aircraft goes into a wild spin or dive, you will feel a second or two of weightless then will be slammed and held against fuselage wall unable to move due to g-forces (many airmen could not escape from a falling B-17).

Step One: Make it so the airplane doesn't crash! (there aint no step 2)

a joke (2)

Dark Lord of Ohio (2459854) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603808)

Plane flying somewhere above the Atlantic. Experiencing turbulences, and suddenly one of the enginess goes off. Stewardess gets the mic and says: Ladies and gentelmen, we are experiencing some minor problems, but please stay calm. OK, now please take your passports, everybody has them? Thats fine, now roll it... WHAT??? Asked some dude. Just roll it, replied the lady. And now stick it deep into your anus... Whatta hell! Yelled another guy, Hows that suppose to help us! Stewardess with angelic calm on her face says: it will help to identify the bodies after we crash. Thank you for your attention.

Platinum Level (2)

mbone (558574) | more than 2 years ago | (#37603842)

At the platinum level, a special culinary course is offered on the best way to cook and eat coach survivors, should you be stranded on a desert island.

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